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Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:04]Last live stream of the day with Kelly. Kell brought a very impactful and important story to the channel, because there are nuances in her story that are very, very sensitive and important.

[00:00:18]We're going to talk about all of that. For those who don't remember, Kelly married a mediocre guy, you know? Mediocre. And he would stay, he would cheat on her. So when he saw that she was getting smarter, that she was figuring things out, that she was waking up, he deliberately burned her legs, poured alcohol on them, set them on fire, and burned 30% of her body. She suffered a lot because, you know, burns are a bearable pain, right? So, she suffered a lot with the pain, with the recovery, and it really messes with your mental health too, right, Kelly? Are you going to tell us that?

[00:00:57]too much.

[00:00:58]So, what did he do? He made up a story, didn't he? And he stood there, right next to her, afraid she would tell. And it really took her a while to tell. It took her a while to get out. When she left, she went back to him, because all of this was due to fear. So, uh, thank God you're here with us, that you 're alive, that you're wonderful. Look, it's a completely different person from when we recorded this. That 's true, isn't it?

[00:01:31]We have good news too. Oh, that's wonderful. Let's talk about some good news. And I'd like to thank you, for those who don't know me, I'm Vivi, the creator of the channel. I'm bringing my women here to tell their stories, to learn a little more about their stories, to answer questions, and for us to get to know these wonderful, strong, and courageous women a little better. Kelly, I want to know who Kelly is today.

[00:01:56]Kelly is now a healed woman who helps other women to be healed through my testimony, through my story, through everything I have overcome. And this is Kelly, the one who understood his purpose on earth, which is to lead. Like I said, someone once told me: "Ah, you're not going to change the world by sharing your testimony, but the world of one woman that I've touched has already been very worthwhile." So this is Kellia, who is trying to change at least one woman's world in some way, to help her break free from this cycle of relationships, from an abusive relationship.

[00:02:38]Our! And another thing, changing someone's life is a big deal. Stop and think about it, that 's a lot. Yes, that's a lot. You know where the channel came from, now it's slowing down, let's start slowing down since we're arriving, because now is the last one, if we stay more than an hour it won't hurt. But it was when I dreamed, you know, when I dreamed about the channel, I didn't dream about which channel, before the channel even existed, I already wanted to do something, I just didn't know what. I was thinking, guys, we need to help women get divorced. I need to help women get divorced. I need to help. I felt like I needed to do something. Then one day I dreamt that I was helping. I swear, it was, you know, those real dreams? Really, I helped thousands of women, even though I dreamed of doing so. A dream come true. It was a feeling like that. I was thinking, wow, what a huge ego I have, but I'll find something I can do, because if I help even one person, that's enough. And today, look, we help thousands of women.

[00:03:44]Like I said, the course, uh, must be a very sad part of life. I think that when we reach a certain stage, at an advanced age, let's say, when we reach 80 years old, we look back and say: "What have I done?"

[00:03:58]And when you looked, you said, "Wow, I didn't do anything." It must be very sad, and I have, I have a lot of faith in God.

[00:04:05]When I arrive, I'll look back and say, "Wow, I did it! I made lemonade out of everything that happened to me." AND. And what's more, many times we don't act because of things like what they said to you, right? Why are you going to expose it? Why do you think you 'll help with the story?

[00:04:25]Wow, I had way too many people. I had someone who said, "Oh, well, just put a stop to it, let it go, and go live your life." But no, no, no, it can't be. And it's another thing entirely to say that we can cure. That's when we say that we're healing ourselves and helping others, as you very well said at the beginning, we're healing ourselves and helping other women to heal themselves. In this exchange, we're literally telling our own story every time, right? We're telling ourselves everything that happened, to ourselves, to remember where we came from, to remember what we overcame.

[00:05:04]Yes, and it shows us how strong we were to overcome it, right? We were so strong. Look, look at all the things we had to move within ourselves and outside of ourselves to get to where we are today. Isn't that amazing? And today we're here, and another one is back at the beginning, where we've already been. And that's what we, who are looking at ourselves, are saying: "Man, I'm going to get there, I can do it too, she can do it, I'm going to be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel, right?

[00:05:32]Because when we're in this cycle of violence, when we get out, especially, we think it's over.

[00:05:38]We think the world has ended, that there's no solution and that nothing makes sense anymore." And then when you come across a story and you see it, you say: "No, if she could handle it, so can I."

[00:05:50]It's just a matter of going through the process, right? Going through the process and understanding that it's not quick, it's not like, "Oh my god, I watched the channel, I saw that I'm going through this, that's it, tomorrow I'm going to throw in the towel, I'm going to leave, I'm going to throw his things down there." It's not like that, it doesn't work like that, they don't accept it so easily. Why are there so many cases of femicide? When does he want to kill the woman? When he realizes she wants to leave, they think our bodies belong to them.

[00:06:24]And why are they trying to kill us?

[00:06:26]Because since our bodies are their property, they're going to end up annihilating our bodies, annihilating our lives, right?

[00:06:33]Kelly, why do you think he did everything he did? Do you think it was planned? Why did he plan all of this? You were such a peaceful and even passive woman, we could say.

[00:06:45]So why do you think he did all that at that moment?

[00:06:51]I think it's because he understood that situation, as I mentioned in the video, he had another relationship, a relationship that had lasted for a while with this woman, and he understood that he had to choose one or the other. I said, "I'm not going to stay. It's impossible to be with someone knowing they're in another relationship, it just isn't possible."

[00:07:14]And then that moment arrived, he realized that everything he had built was going to have to end. And then I think that was it, like, I'm going to lose. So, it's the feeling of ownership, right, that he realized he was going to lose.

[00:07:31]No, I'm not staying. If she doesn't stay with me, she won't stay with anyone else either. I'm not going to leave her alone. And I think that's why, it's that feeling of possession.

[00:07:41]And do you think his not wanting to lose the apartment has anything to do with his finances? Do you think this will catch on too?

[00:07:50]In my case, I don't think it's the financial aspect.

[00:07:52]What I see today is that most relationships, I even did a live stream a while ago with a finance manager, a finance mentor, and we were even talking about this. Today, some women remain in abusive relationships, mainly because of the financial aspect. I don't think the financial problem lies in the size of both price ranges. I think it was more a feeling of ownership, or even something like what I'm about to say. For the family, for society, let's say. How am I supposed to say it's over? I think it was more a matter of that margarine family running out. Like, how am I going to tell people that, but what does that mean? You two were so much, you were a perfect couple, how could it end like this?

[00:08:38]And you think he wanted to kill you?

[00:08:42]Absolutely.

[00:08:45]Absolutely. A person who takes a bottle of alcohol to their room has no other intention than to avoid killing themselves.

[00:08:55]A bottle of alcohol was taken to the room; there's no other explanation. And also because it was hidden, right? And then came the signal, like, to start playing.

[00:09:08]So, the feeling, and the issue of me getting under the shower and the person saying, "Oh, I'm going to run away."

[00:09:16]So, I do think there was indeed an intention to kill. I have no doubt about it.

[00:09:23]I wanted you to talk because it's sad.

[00:09:26]Wow, that's really sad, isn't it? It's a lot, it's a lot of messing around in our place, right? That's a little bit like what Tásia said, right?

[00:09:37]Tásia was saying that he kept a knife next to her on the bed.

[00:09:46]So, I mean, look how they're planning it, right? He messed with her psychologically a lot, and he would leave the knife, which he said he wanted to kill himself with, but he would leave it next to her on the bed.

[00:10:00]So they're plotting, folks, our downfall. And they're not nice, they 're not sick, they're not, they're wicked and cruel, right? They could be.

[00:10:10]Yeah, I was talking to a woman a while ago, and she even said, "Oh, my, my husband is going through a divorce, he doesn't have the courage to do it?"

[00:10:24]I didn't think so either. I spoke to her, I spoke to her. I said, "Did you see the picture of my leg?", didn't you? I sent you the photo, right? A photo of a badly injured leg. Yes.

[00:10:33]And I showed her that photo and I spoke to her like this: I also thought so because I never had any indication of a slap, of a black eye or a pinch, right? Sometimes it's just a nudge that doesn't leave a mark, things like that. I've never had that. And then I spoke to her, I said: "Don't doubt it here, because, oh, he doesn't have the courage." I spoke to her like this, and the same thought I had, that I wouldn't have the courage, almost killed me.

[00:11:06]Yes, he wouldn't do that, he would. Just when you think he wouldn't do it, he actually does it.

[00:11:12]He would.

[00:11:14]So always think, "He would do it," because if he doesn't, well, you've already left beforehand, you've already protected yourself.

[00:11:21]They do it, folks, they do it, because we're really going to find out. Actually, even when I got divorced, I can't say I knew about it during the divorce, because I already knew beforehand, I already knew that divorce was going to be difficult. I already suspected it, because I already noticed it, I was saying: "Wow, this man won't accept the divorce." When you tell him, "Let's get a divorce." And he doesn't accept it, he says he's going to change. He says: "Not him, not him." It's because he doesn't respect you. He doesn't respect your wishes; he doesn't respect the fact that you're going to live alone without him. When he doesn't accept the divorce, he'll do it, my friend. The man who won't do it is the one who accepts it when you say you want a divorce. Because he respects your wishes, he respects you. When he does n't respect your wish to divorce, he will do anything to avoid it. So, don't doubt, don't doubt their capacity for violence.

[00:12:18]They are potentially violent. Any man who refuses to get a divorce is potentially violent. Full stop.

[00:12:26]Oh, it never hit me. It's going to hit. Oh, you can never do that. I'm not just about hitting, okay guys? I don't want to be flippant, but he could commit other types of abuse, such as financial or property violence.

[00:12:40]Financial is where sexual is.

[00:12:42]Sexual abuse is one thing, and another that we don't talk about much, which is even spiritual, when a person uses religion to commit abuse, and it happens a lot because the person simply uses religion, the Bible, to commit it. So, there are various forms of abuse, not just physical aggression, right?

[00:13:02]And vicarious violence, which already exists today, right? There are already laws to protect us. What is vicarious violence? Using our children to get to us. That's what they do most of the time. They use our children to hurt us, they practice parental alienation, they're always there, saying "oh, your mother, this and that," they make plans to pick up their child, then they don't go, they run away from their children's lives. Everything was designed to hurt us, to belittle us, to annihilate us emotionally.

[00:13:35]So, people, for God's sake, right? The man won't agree to a divorce, expect anything from him, okay? Because he won't accept it, he won't accept the end of the relationship.

[00:13:45]It's just like my dad, my dad always says, heart, sorry, it's just like my dad always says, the heart is land where nobody treads, right?

[00:13:54]So, we don't know what the other person is capable of doing.

[00:14:00]Kelly, tell us a little more about your experience of generalizing that not all men are violent. I explained that men who don't accept divorce are potentially violent. I think that's clear, right, everyone? Kelly, please explain to us how your process of overcoming this went.

[00:14:26]I say that my process of overcoming [the illness] began inside the hospital, which is when I decided to leave. The first thing I said was, "I'm going to be okay."

[00:14:40]Because I think that when we start saying that we're going to be okay, without playing the victim, like, "Oh, this happened to me, oh, I won't be able to do it," we'll be okay. We have to speak in a way that completely contradicts what we're feeling, because our words have power. So, from the moment I left the hospital, I was fine, you know, because my healing process still took about 4 months after the burn. So, after 4 months, I also had traumatic alopecia. So, I experienced hair loss, and that's when I sought help— psychiatric help, a psychologist—I did Pilates, I did computer therapy. Where were the people talking to me going? I was going. He said it was good, my daughter, I was going. So, I think it's about understanding that we need to have good professionals on our side.

[00:15:36]It's like someone, a friend of mine, even commented on the video saying, "Eh, what have I actually achieved on my own?" And at first, we can actually do it alone, because nobody knows what's going on in our hearts. Same in my case, my family didn't know. So, it was just me and God, but nobody knew. So, I had to go first on my own, seek psychological help, psychiatric help, and understand that sometimes we really do need to take medication for a while, which will be good for us. So, this is it, it's on the side of good professionals.

[00:16:13]I think that when we understand that we need good professionals, other things start to follow, because as you get better, other things come along with you, right? So, I think the first thing I did was seek help from good professionals. And truth. That's true, Kelly. I think everyone on the channel says the same thing, right? It was when I went to therapy that I understood. And often you also need a psychiatrist, because it's not like you're going to take the medication forever; if you have to take it, you do, that's fine, but it 's about taking care of your mental health, right? We understand that at that moment we need support. Another thing, Kelly, you don't talk about a friend like that, you don't talk about that much in your story. You had friends, you had this network that... So, I had the network after I told everyone, because until then everyone... today I have a bond of three friends.

[00:17:12]Hmm.

[00:17:13]Even my friends only found out a year later, because I was scared for them too. It was kind of like having to tell someone, and sometimes the person would come looking for me and find out that I had told someone else. So, during that year, it was just me, the psychologist, and the psychiatrist. Hmm. So, it was only after that. So, after I actually told everyone, I had a lot of support from my parents, from my friends, from the people around me, but during that year alone it was just me, my psychologist, and my psychiatrist.

[00:17:54]And what were the effects of this post-traumatic stress? I imagine you had post-traumatic stress disorder, because it was a very significant trauma.

[00:18:07]Yes, I did.

[00:18:12]Well, your life changes like that, my life changed completely, because it's not just about going out, right? It changed my understanding that, like, I have a scar on my leg, I have to learn to deal with it, because it's very big, and understand that too, and my hair all fell out, understanding that as well. And that's how it is, it was very complicated. It was very complicated. I had to take antidepressants, I had to take sleeping pills. I just slept, can you imagine? I was taking a sublingual medication. I forgot the name of the medicine, which I had to take while already lying down because it was so strong.

[00:18:56]And until I understood that, I would spend three days awake, thinking, remembering, crying, and it was very difficult.

[00:19:08]And you lived alone? No, you were with your mother, right?

[00:19:12]With my mother.

[00:19:14]With my mother, with my mother, with my sister.

[00:19:17]Well, it's the same thing, I'll even tell you a little about the good news so you understand why, this week we had the trial in the first instance, the judge left it to the jury's judgment, right?

[00:19:35]Well, it's a jury trial, Kelly. Hey, yeah. So what? And so, even there, they questioned me, you know, why, why didn't I tell my family how I went all this time, a year, without telling them? But guys, it's fear. The fear is surreal. I was so afraid to tell anyone, afraid they would come after me and do something, that I, seriously, I put myself in a bubble and I could hide there so people wouldn't imagine what I was feeling.

[00:20:25]So, I would put on a mask every day and let's go, let's live with a mask on, but behind that mask, only God knew how broken I was.

[00:20:35]I was afraid for the people around me. Did you work normally during that year? Have you gone back to work, going out with friends? When you started out, were you living a normal life?

[00:20:47]I was working, but then it was just work and home, work and home, work and home. I went practically a year without going out, partly because I was also afraid that the person had been watching me; there were some reports that the person was watching me.

[00:21:06]So, uh, I would call my mom, my sister, and say, "Meet me at the bus terminal," and they would take me to the bus terminal.

[00:21:14]Always, always like this. It was Uber, never the bus. And it was a whole year like that, with absolutely no news, nothing at all.

[00:21:26]And your mother didn't ask you?

[00:21:30]He asked, but I left without, I always left giving, I don't want to talk about it, always giving, oh, that's not it, and that's it, end of story.

[00:21:44]But deep down I always knew, right? My mother, and deep down my father, always knows who the parents are, they always know, they know their children, right? Know what you have at home. So, she always knew, and they respected me in that initial moment, understanding that something had happened, but I also needed to resolve something within myself.

[00:22:08]Yes, there's no point in forcing it, right? Because, you see, you had already suffered a lot of violence.

[00:22:15]If they didn't respect your space, they were also violating you in a way, right? Because if someone, even someone close to me, questioned and said: "Oh, but you didn't question her, you didn't put her against the wall? You didn't force her to talk, you didn't want to?"

[00:22:40]And then this person said: "Guys, since we're, let's say, close to someone, we have to have empathy.

[00:22:47]She was already going through a difficult time, already having to recover from traumatic alopecia, a separation, understanding about a burn.

[00:22:57]Thank you.

[00:22:58]Here, during this cold season, I was in excruciating pain. I was in excruciating pain. I'm going to corner the person.

[00:23:07]So, the people around me were very careful with me in that regard, understanding that it was a time when I needed to recover. And it wasn't just the body, but the mind.

[00:23:21]Yes, especially, right, K?

[00:23:24]Especially.

[00:23:26]How long in total did you stop feeling pain, how long did it take for you to really have that healing process where the pain went away?

[00:23:35]I still feel it a little during this cold season. It usually does. Why does it happen?

[00:23:41]Our bodies tend to contract muscles to warm the body during the cold season.

[00:23:48]So, sometimes I feel it a little, but it's been about a year since I felt it.

[00:23:53]I'm four and a half years old, which is mature, so it's been a year." More or less, I don't feel it anymore, but it was a time when I felt it and took a lot of pain medication. I even spent about a year working in air conditioning wearing boots, socks, a sock underneath, a thermal sock, and brake pants and shirt, just to avoid feeling pain, because the pain comes from the cold.

[00:24:19]Oh, the pain comes from the cold because the muscle contracts, right?

[00:24:24]I understand, I understand.

[00:24:26]And the skin is very thin, right? Do you still take pain medication for that, Kelly?

[00:24:32]No medication, not even psychiatric, nothing, not even to sleep, nothing anymore, no medication.

[00:24:41]That's good.

[00:24:43]Tell us how that hearing went. Tell us everything.

[00:24:49]So, it was like this, it was a hearing with a few people, right? And then I recounted everything that happened, nothing normal.

[00:25:01]And then the jury left the merits, right, of the first instance, to the popular jury. So, we have to wait now to see what will happen, right? And then it's up to the jury.

[00:25:14]I understand. And if he is convicted, what... What happens? What is the penalty?

[00:25:22]So, uh, today the law, the penalty today, I think it changed in 2023 or 2024.

[00:25:30]Today, femicide crimes carry a sentence of 20 to 40 years, as happened in 2021 before the law changed, it was 12 to 20 years.

[00:25:44]He can go to prison.

[00:25:45]So that's where it comes in. It can.

[00:25:50]But I'll be honest with you. I'll be very honest with you.

[00:25:54]Hmm. With everything that has happened to me, I had the opportunity, uh, I was selected by the Court of Justice to have plastic surgery.

[00:26:06]The channel gave me the opportunity to give my testimony and to have this first hearing, right? I'll be honest with you, I already feel that justice has been done and that I am managing to do justice and bring justice not only for myself, but for other women, to give voice to other women and help other women. So, I usually say the following, uh, without ever exempting the person from responsibility, Right? I understand that whatever the crime, the person has to pay for what they did, but what happens is up to them. I know for myself that I'm already 100% cured.

[00:26:54]So I say that I've already achieved a lot, you know? Just by having achieved my cure, I've already achieved, like, I'm already seeing that justice is being done.

[00:27:05]Yes. Because being able to sleep peacefully tonight, with a clear conscience, without any medication, is at peace. I think that's already justice being done, you know? Have you seen him after that?

[00:27:22]I saw him at the hearing.

[00:27:23]Only at the hearing?

[00:27:26]What did you feel?

[00:27:29]Indifference at the hearing. For me, he's a human being today like any other. Of course, at the time we get very emotional, right? Because, like I said, it's one thing for me to be here talking to you, it's another thing for you to get there, and sometimes when I tell you, I have to hold back inside, you know?

[00:27:53]Because wanting to Or not, it still affects me a lot. If I say it doesn't affect me, it 's complicated. No, we're human beings.

[00:28:02]There are days when I still feel it, there are days when I'm still upset, there are days when I do n't remember. But like, for me it was sad. I saw it, it was sad to see that we had a relationship that, until then, I thought was a healthy relationship, you know, but I mean, we fought so hard to achieve so many things and today it's over. It's sad. It's sad in that sense. Did you love him, Kelly? I truly loved him. He was the person I dreamed of having by my side until the last day of my life, to grow old with him, to start a family and everything. Do you think he loved you, Ken?

[00:28:51]No, no. Today, with the mindset I have today, I see that throughout the relationship there were signs, but it was a love that was on my part, that blinded me, that didn't allow me to see the signs, because back then there were signs and I refused.

[00:29:20]What were the main ones that don't start overnight?

[00:29:24]Phone calls, disappearing, sometimes a more ignorant way of speaking.

[00:29:34]So, I think that back then there were a lot of signs, and how was I, I loved him, right? I had a passion. That ended up blinding me, allowing me to go through things I didn't need to go through. It's very shocking what I'm saying, and not everyone understands this. I say this because for some people, understanding this is very complicated.

[00:30:01]Uh, he does have responsibility for everything, but back then he gave signs and I did n't want to see them. So, for me, uh, I have a, I have a percentage that I could have avoided a lot of things, because there are signs today in everything that happened to me, today if I were to get into a relationship, I've already been in a relationship with someone who gave signs of simply saying, "Look, I don't want you to cut your hair.

[00:30:35]I want you to keep your hair straight and long. I don't want you to wear red lipstick."

[00:30:40]He said: "I already did," and I jumped up and down. "Well, I had a relationship like that." So, that 's already a sign, and those signs were there back then, and I didn't understand them. Today I understand.

[00:30:52]So, the signs always come.

[00:30:55]But we were young, Kelly. We were in the throes of romantic love.

[00:31:01]Romantic love. We wanted to get married, to be married together for the rest of our lives.

[00:31:06]Now that we've woken up, we understand that the most important person in our lives is ourselves, that nobody can walk all over us, that a relationship isn't more important than our peace and well-being, right? That yes, there's the possibility of leaving, that there's the possibility of ending things, that a marriage is forever if it's good, because if we're suffering, it has to be good for everyone.

[00:31:35]It's that there needs to be reciprocity, that it can't just be us giving. How much does it cost to maintain a marriage? It can't cost us our lives, it ca n't cost us our mental health, our sleep, our well-being. It can't, it has to be an exchange, because to maintain a Marriage, and to maintain even that family structure that we, oh my God, give our lives to maintain, especially when there are children.

[00:32:03]You were lucky not to have children with him, but when we have children, especially, oh my, we give our soul, our money, our life, right? But that's not the way, people. That's not the way.

[00:32:21]Especially because when we give too much without reciprocity, we 're telling him: "You can do anything." When we don't set limits, we're making it clear that he can do anything to us because we accept it. We're doing it for the best.

[00:32:38]We're doing it because we were taught to be peacemakers, not to fight and demand to be treated well. We're not really like that, we're socialized to accept, to be quiet, to understand that it's his way, and so on. But now we need to understand that no, that's not That's just how he is.

[00:33:08]His way should be respectful, his way should be reciprocal. The other person's way should be to give the same thing we give. Wow! Because otherwise it has to be mutual, right? It has to be a two-way street, right?

[00:33:22]Two-way. To stay in a relationship, a whole life, to suffer with coldness, with contempt, with insults, with shouting.

[00:33:36]No, no, no, that's not it. It can't be. We can't teach that to our daughters. We come from another generation that said: "No, man, that's just how life is, marriage is forever, you have to put up with his way." "Nothing about his way, his way of doing things, will improve things, because our way is to give back, we have to want that back." And sometimes it's not even our way, because when we suffer violence, and violence can be subtle, sometimes it's just simple contempt, because yours had a bit of that contempt, that coldness, right, Kelly?

[00:34:09]It did. I had a point where I'd get home, for example, I'd go to my mother's house for lunch on Sunday. Oh, let's go, let's go, let's go. I'd get home, he'd leave me at home, and go out.

[00:34:23]Yeah. Or simply, oh, I don't want to talk today, I'm tired. I don't want control, I don't want it.

[00:34:36]Oh, it's very complicated. Even to have sex sometimes, there was a day, a time, a date, like even for that, there had to be a right day, a right time, even in that.

[00:34:55]Yeah, and we're a prison, right, Kelly? It's a prison. If you stop to think about it, right? It's not a happy marriage." We got married to be happy. It's like being in a mental prison, right?

[00:35:08]Oh my, and I think that's the worst thing, I think, is your psyche being there, you have to measure your words, like, the person came home from work today, and you said: "I'm going to gauge how the person is feeling to see if I can say such and such." No, the person came home more stressed today, I ca n't say anything because the person is a bit nervous. Oh, no, today the person is fine, so I can talk, but I can't say that because otherwise I'll ruin the mood.

[00:35:33]So it's like walking on eggshells, Lita. It's living walking on eggshells all the time.

[00:35:39]Oh my, I walked on eggshells a lot too, Kell. I thought, oh my, I can't say anything now. I had something important to talk about. I thought: "Oh my, I have to wait for the right moment." Then you create all the time to bring up an important subject, when you could simply sit down and say: "Look, I need to do this, I need to buy that, I need to pay for that other thing." I couldn't say anything because At any moment it could get worse. Man, this is really bad. It's really bad. No, we can't do that much. You have to live, you live in constant tension, right? You ca n't relax, your body can't relax, you're always there and then there's the fear of making a meal and the food turning out wrong and the person saying: "Oh, the food is too salty." Ah, you could have, so you always live in a state of tension, like a pressure cooker, it's going to explode at any moment. AND.

[00:36:40]Oh Kelly, when did you realize you were over it? You say, "Man, I've gotten over it now."

[00:36:48]On the day I didn't take any more medication, the last day I took sleeping pills, the day I managed to have a peaceful night without any medication, I said: "Wow, I slept tonight."

[00:37:07]And until recently, I don't remember if I mentioned it in the video, there was a day when I was lying here, and I was lying down with my legs crossed, and I said, "Wow, my leg is burned."

[00:37:24]I said, "Jesus is Jesus, it's crazy.

[00:37:26]Because I say that I reached a level of healing where I looked at it and said, ' Wow, my leg is burned, I wasn't even remembering.'"

[00:37:38]Great!

[00:37:38]I slept, just like I did this week when the hearing was on Friday, right?

[00:37:46]I slept very well every day.

[00:37:50]I slept very well. And I slept very peacefully every night, because I know the truth. First, when we know the truth, that we're not lying.

[00:38:01]So, the truth prevails, and when you speak the truth, there's no way around it, peace enters, and it's about understanding that today, uh, I'm at peace, I'm not, I learned, I forgave myself because one of the things in this healing process is forgiving yourself. Yes, because we tend to make ourselves feel guilty.

[00:38:29]What did I do, especially regarding the betrayal, right? Ah, why did he stay with the other woman? What other trend is better than what I already have?

[00:38:37]What happened? So, we start to carry a bit of guilt for everything that happened and understand that we need to forgive ourselves as well. So, I think the key to healing is all of that, it's also about forgiving yourself. I think forgiveness isn't just for the other person, but mainly for ourselves, because we blame ourselves so much, right?

[00:39:01]When we're in that situation, we blame ourselves so much and we end up getting lost in our own guilt.

[00:39:10]What should I have done? Where did I go wrong? I think the biggest question that hits me is where I went wrong.

[00:39:18]I myself thought about that a lot.

[00:39:20]Where did I go wrong? It's nothing, it's not that he didn't do anything wrong, including accepting a lot of things, right? I don't know if it's a mistake, right? It's not right or wrong, but I liked it. I think that's what we do have a responsibility when we haven't commanded respect, when we haven't set boundaries. Oh, okay, we didn't know, we didn't know. OK. But you understand that the dynamics of the relationship are also built according to our positioning, right?

[00:39:54]Yes. It's like we say there, we say in the project that it's like this, uh, this is in general terms, in terms of relationships with others, up to what point I allow myself to go beyond. So, like, whoa, I'm going to put my hand here, this is my limit. If I allow it to pass here, I also have a responsibility, because I allowed the other person to do so. So, we understood our limits and enforced them.

[00:40:21]So why, if I don't tell the other person that this is the limit, how will they know?

[00:40:27]Yes, it's my responsibility to let you know. Now, before I can give you a warning, I first have to acknowledge what my limits are.

[00:40:34]That's the big question. When we are very young, we don't know what our limits are. We often don't know how to position ourselves in life either. We weren't encouraged from childhood to verbalize what we feel, what we want, what we accept, or what we don't accept.

[00:40:54]We have often seen our mothers accepting unacceptable things, and we end up accepting and normalizing the unacceptable.

[00:41:04]So this is a complex and somewhat lengthy process of maturation, you know, for our women, for us to understand. Listen, folks, now that I'm working harder and harder on trying to recognize my limits, because—and I 'm 48 years old—it takes time, it really takes time, because we go on living, especially when we're mothers, when we give so much to others, it's a life of so much giving that afterwards I don't know what the limits are anymore. I, at least, didn't know. Yes, yes, yes, it's a journey of self-discovery, of understanding, right? Some things are very easy to understand, but there are also things that are not so easy. There are those issues that you didn't experience today, you know about some issues that you've already seen, and other new ones that will arise in a future relationship, because the next one will have other types of issues that will again touch on the question of your limits, of you not recognizing those limits. Why? Because you haven't experienced those kinds of situations here yet, you understand? So, it's complex, it's only with life, with maturity, with therapy that we come to understand it, and even more than that, because I think there's another very important point: we all want to be loved, right? We want to be loved, we want to be loved by the person we're with. So, we often unconsciously believe that verbalizing our feelings might push away the person we love, the person we want to be with, right? AND. We're afraid to verbalize it. So when you're with an uncompromising guy, like Kell's ex, like my ex, you'll talk, it'll turn into a fight, you'll talk, the guy will turn away, you'll talk, there will be silent treatment, what do you do? You shut yourself off, you won't speak, you just swallow it all, you just stay there, you know, all sensitive.

[00:43:12]This sensitivity arises, this disconnect arises, a difficulty in setting boundaries emerges. Which way to go? The way forward is to understand that that person, that type of relationship, is not healthy and is not right for us. But then there's that path too, right? It's also a process that we'll come to understand.

[00:43:31]So, that's it, human relationships are complex. We all have needs that we often don't even recognize, don't we, Kelly? We do have, and thankfully today, like your channel, we have projects that, as we say in the project, we also have to act on, telling people, but not only those who have already passed, but also those who are coming, as a preventative measure. Well, because, you wouldn't believe how preventive measures we had, you know, because back in the day they didn't exist. I'm talking about this, I'm 35 years old, and it didn't exist, you didn't hear about it, it didn't exist. So, in addition to helping women who are going through this to get out, we also do preventative work on the daughters of these women—they are sons, because some women have sons—and also teach these boys who are growing up not to commit these acts and to act preventively, right? If only you had prevented so many problems in our lives.

[00:44:44]So it is. So it is. And even knowing that, they're still going to have their own battles, because when you're in a serious relationship, you still have a process to go through before you get there. Hey Kell, I have a question. And what about his family? How did his family react to all of this? They went there. Did they look for you? How did that happen?

[00:45:12]So, today I try, I don't have contact, uh, I've literally isolated myself, because I literally wanted to cut that umbilical cord, even for my mental health.

[00:45:24]So, uh, if we're going to see it, we 'll see it on the day of the jury trial. I don't know, I don't seek to know, partly because I might be judged, or I might not be judged, it's a family. Whoever has a loved one, whether they like it or not, has a blood tie there, there's a lot of affection, there's everything. So, I chose not to have contact.

[00:45:50]I literally mean that, because sometimes a person is in a relationship and they still maintain a bond with that person's family, right? I literally broke all ties. I broke up with the person, I severed all ties as well, because I think it ended there. No, I don't think they needed access to me anymore either.

[00:46:13]I cut off all ties. What's the story on the channel?

[00:46:20]I think so, I think they saw it.

[00:46:24]They know, actually, because I told them, you know, when I started telling them, I told my parents, and some close people, they were the last people to hear it from me. I contacted the family, told them, and that was it.

[00:46:39]I understood.

[00:46:40]So, since we also live close by, uh, we all live in the same neighborhood, so, whether we like it or not, uh, I had a recording last year in August, during the August Lilac campaign, with the vice-mayor of the city, so my name came up in the city. I was featured in the newspaper today last week, so, well, it's not really making any moves. So, whether people like it or not, the city I live in is, let's say, a small city.

[00:47:13]So, eventually, people find out. I believe they do know.

[00:47:19]Kelly, what message would you like to leave for our women? Is there anything else, anything else you'd like to add?

[00:47:25]I want. Like I said, I was in the newspaper today, "this week in the newspaper today" has 15 days. The Court of Justice invited me, and they're doing a program—which I even have on my YouTube channel—that's for women who have suffered domestic violence, who have a case, you know, that involves reconstructive surgeries.

[00:47:50]Well, like me, my surgery couldn't repair everything, especially the thigh and the back part. I'm going to have surgery where they're going to put a balloon in my leg to try and inflate it and try to cover the scar.

[00:48:05]But it's important to clarify that, as the judge herself stated in the interview, women who feel they have been through this and have a scar can go to the Court of Justice, which will evaluate the situation.

[00:48:20]Well, from the week I went, on the day I went, 14 women were invited, but only six showed up, which makes such a difference.

[00:48:34]I thought my scar was beyond repair, you know?

[00:48:40]Because it's a very large area.

[00:48:42]Even on the channel, where I saved the video, there's a woman who was stabbed, you know? And she will undergo reconstructive surgery. So, there are some things you can do to try and alleviate this suffering a little, because, well, today I say that for me, it does n't bother me, but it doesn't bother me that much, but that's because I'm also not the kind of person who gets upset, like I don't walk around in shorts in the street, so I avoid it too.

[00:49:12]But even for those who, like me, can't see, it's enough to at least feel a little better about themselves.

[00:49:19]It's like there were girls there, some of whom were stabbed, and there were about four of them who were victims of stabbings, you know? Then they're going to perform reconstructive surgery on her. So, I think that's a suggestion.

[00:49:34]Women who feel like they represent all of Brazil, Kevin, I believe so. In the interview they talk about it, I just don't remember exactly, but you can find the whole thing on my YouTube channel or my Instagram.

[00:49:49]Which? So, is it linked to Instagram?

[00:49:53]I saved the article on my Instagram.

[00:49:57]It's Kelly Shirlene.

[00:49:59]Kelly with Lely.

[00:50:03]Chilean with SH.

[00:50:06]Follow her, if you need that kind of help or advice, look for her there and let's unite, right? That's great news.

[00:50:17]Two good things to say about all this, right?

[00:50:21]It's interesting, I was invited by the Court of Justice and so I went for the consultation and I thought there wouldn't be a solution. So, the girls who were there, we left, and I already left with a doctor's order to get the tests done. So, it's a partnership between the Court of Justice and the Plastic Surgeons. So, I don't know, I 'll be honest with you, I don't know what the requirement is, uh, because you have to go through a medical evaluation, there's surgery, which, like mine, in my case, it's only possible to do the back part of the calf, because there's still a piece of my normal skin left. So, like this, I think it's worth trying to alleviate it at least a little bit.

[00:51:08]Yes, exactly, for sure. Try to remove some of that mark.

[00:51:14]Exactly. Exactly. That's the mark of that violence, right? It's all absurd, isn't it? This is all absurd. That's great. And I was happy because, thankfully, there are still people with hearts who think about small details, because sometimes we think: "Oh, she got out of that cycle of violence, she got justice, she's convicted, anyway, great." But what about the brands? So, this judge, she's part of a program, a partnership, a project she did with other people there. So, she took the time to look at a scar, even though it seems like the least of her problems, but it's not. This scar can affect self-esteem and self-confidence.

[00:52:10]And this woman is just like I said, okay? It's like I said, I used to have really long hair, it was straight like this, and after the alopecia it grew back, I had treatment, it grew, and I said: "Guys, you know what? I'm going to have short hair." I identified with it, I rediscovered myself, it's part of me, it made me understand my identity.

[00:52:34]So, it's something I embraced and I liked my hair. But there are many women who have scars, who will look at that, every time they look, they will remember that.

[00:52:45]And they remember.

[00:52:46]Yes.

[00:52:47]If I say that I don't look at my leg and remember, some days I remember.

[00:52:50]Some days I don't remember, but some days I say it's like a tattoo.

[00:52:54]Sometimes you get a tattoo, I have that tattoo. So, imagine something that is painful.

[00:53:02]Yes, and sometimes it's visible too, right? Sometimes it 's on the face, sometimes it's on the arm, sometimes it's in a place that's more exposed too, right? There were girls there with scars. So, like, there was a girl with a stab wound, and she was pregnant.

[00:53:16]So, wow, it's about self-esteem.

[00:53:19]So, I thought, wow, I was so happy with this care, that someone thought about this.

[00:53:29]Okay, it solved all the bureaucratic and legal problems, the person is alive, the person is living. But what about the scars?

[00:53:38]Because the physical scars, the internal ones, we seek psychological help and learn to deal with them, but what about the physical ones? And when I was invited, which I was, I said: "Wow, that's amazing, that's wonderful, that's good, things are getting better, right?"

[00:53:57]Things will get better, we will continue fighting, we will continue doing this awareness work and things will get better, they will get better, folks. We will have it, we will unite to make this happen as quickly as possible. Thank you, Kelly, very much.

[00:54:14]Thank you.

[00:54:16]Thanks. It was a pleasure to meet you, to get to know the woman behind that beautiful face. You are beautiful.

[00:54:26]A strong woman, a woman who dealt with all of this, with all the violence you suffered, in a very unique way. How wonderful that you have your family, that you have your mother, your father, your sister. I get very happy when a person has at least a minimal support network, you know, a network of help. And it's good that this is already being judged, that you already feel healed, that you, right, now have the possibility of repairing the scar and your heart is also repaired in a way, and you, by doing this, have become an activist in a way, making this a life purpose, raising awareness so that other women do n't go through what you went through. I admire you very much, thank you so much. I wish you all the best in the world. Are you not dating anyone? Thanks.

[00:55:19]So how's that little part going?

[00:55:21]No no. I'm trusting in God, which I've already asked for, there are some requirements because when these things happen to us, our level also increases, right? Our ruler works like this, which makes it more difficult.

[00:55:34]And it's complicated to find someone who meets that standard. Okay, but I'm trusting in God. Soon, God, soon we'll show up, maybe dating, and before long, getting married. I am, but you have to hit a really high standard, you have to reach the very top. But I'm the one who should be grateful for the opportunity. Well, when all this happened to me, I say that I asked God to take me out of that hospital, that I didn't want to stay there and that if He took me out, I would be very well and would share my testimony to help other women. I'm on your channel today, and I can share my testimony. Yes, it is an answer to a prayer I made four and a half years ago in a hospital ward, very weak, very weak, not knowing what tomorrow would bring, and so I could have the opportunity to share my testimony on your channel, to be able to take it with me. And yes. Today I speak of answered prayer, and I am very grateful, I am very grateful for the opportunity to help change the world, if it is from a woman's perspective. I know we're not going to change the whole world, but changing the world of even one woman will have been well worth it. I'm the one who should be thanking you for the opportunity. She even got emotional, K. Thank you.

[00:57:04]Thank you very much.

[00:57:05]I want to say thank you, everyone. He finished. Thanks, marathon, but we'll have more marathons soon, and we'll let you know on Instagram, okay? A kiss, thank you to everyone who was here with us, at the end of Sunday. Kisses, Kelly.

[00:57:21]Kisses, girls. Bye, everyone.