I Finally Understand Why I Talk Too Much

Added: 2026-05-15

[00:00:00]You talk too much. Well, not you. I don't know why I'm pointing at you. I talk too much. Something that has been leveled against me for pretty much the entirety of my life. And only in recent years when sort of doing YouTube became my job did talking too much maybe become advantageous.

[00:00:17]I was certainly told it throughout my childhood by everyone, not just the teachers, but anyone and everyone.

[00:00:22]You've got too much to say for yourself.

[00:00:25]Which I never liked. And I'll tell you why. That has quite negative connotations. That phrase, you've got too much to say for yourself. It suggests you're cocky. Uh it it suggests you're you're confident and you're I don't know, maybe wanting to to press your ideas on someone. That's not what it is. We're going to talk today about information dumping, which is something I didn't realize was particularly an ADHD trait, but it is undoubtedly since I started on this journey, since I got my diagnosis, since I started listening to other people that have ADHD, started reading about it. We'll we'll deal with with a book that I'll recommend um you know, in in a video or two's time, but I really wanted to start doing this one. But anyway, yes, information dumping is absolutely a trait of ADHD, a desperation, a desire. You might, you're excited about something. It's not negative. Socially, it can seem to be negative because you need to allow time to pause. You need to allow time for other people to speak. You need to to listen. You need to do all those other things that you'd socially need to do.

[00:01:30]But what it is, sometimes you're so excited about something you've learned, something you've seen, something you've experienced that you want to impart that. And definitely, and I speak for myself here, there's there's an inbuilt desire to want to get that stuff out.

[00:01:46]And this was very much one of the traits that that my girlfriend Lisa noticed about me. Now, I've been promising to do this video for quite some time. And what I thought I was going to do was go through the whole list and the whole email of what she sent. Now, I must say, and I'm going to probably keep saying this, I asked Lisa to send me this. I asked Lisa to do this. Lisa was not um aggressively pursuing this at all. It just got to a point where we've been together for a little while and she asked me, "Do you think you've got ADHD?" I'll actually read you what Lisa said, and then we'll get into the information dumping part of this and explore it a little bit more.

[00:02:23]But Lisa said, basically said, "Hello, darling." and she said, "Below are my bullet points about why I thought you had ADHD. I didn't have an in-depth knowledge of ADHD. I probably only vaguely knew a couple of traits when I met you." Um, so she's listed a number of things. We're not going to do it all in one video, so I thought we'd do one particular trait at a time. Now, she's also gone on to say, I'd say that one to three, so she's she's given a list here.

[00:02:50]One to three are the big three. The rest were evident very early on. Then anything else I read on ADHD literally described you. So she was looking at a textbook on ADHD. It was describing me.

[00:03:02]Uh she said she broached it early with me and she really wanted me to read about it but she didn't want to worry me or annoy me. She kept reading about it online. She bought a book um and she she felt I needed to hear it from a few different people to make sense of it which and she said she was glad I did. I think when the first time she said it to me, I wasn't insulted or anything like that. I think I was quite reticent to take on this this new information that I might be I might be ADHD. As I said in previous videos, if you've not watched them, I I had I had very very much an outsider's view, if you want, of ADHD. I thought ADHD was something naughty kids had. I didn't realize um that it that it had the had the propensity and had the ability to impact so many people in so many facets of their lives. I certainly didn't think I had it. However, um I'm going to go to point number three now, which is information dumping. So, these are Lisa's words about me. Then I want to get through to a few more bullet points about it. Lisa said a conversation would often result in a big information dump without stopping. She's talking about me talking to her. She said she felt quite overwhelmed. Sometimes it felt like you were determined to get it all out and there was no stopping you. Sometimes I would come to life. She said you would come to life at night. Can can al I can also be knackered but I can sit on the bed talking for ages about killer whales, black holes or lost civilizations, she said which I absolutely love. Yeah, that is true. I I can I can definitely come to life at night.

[00:04:44]It's something I've discussed before, which is the hyperfocus.

[00:04:48]I I love I love reading. I love watching and exploring and watching documentaries, just learning about anything I can. And I think if if I get into a subject, I really really get into it. And Lisa talks about black holes there. I mean to give you an example when I when I first started learning more about about the cosmos I couldn't I couldn't get enough information in. So I don't lack the capacity to absorb information but once I have that information I feel the need to try and to get it out and to tell people. So quite late on I was never interested in in physics which of course you know what it is what cosmology is is physics.

[00:05:27]Never interested in school. Came to it quite late. This best describes me.

[00:05:34]I I actually bought Stephven Hawkins, A Brief History of Time, which is an absolute horrendous book to try and read. If you don't if you don't know about cosmology, if you don't know about physics, um maybe an astrophysicist or there's a lot of theoretical science in it. I'm not going to bore you with all that stuff at the moment. I don't fully understand it. But I start so I I bought the book. Um I went I bought myself a telescope. Not only that, I bought different lenses which you can put on the telescope. Uh I start and then and then I went and bought a camera which I could fit to the telescope to start taking pictures of the cosmos. I I I'd start I'd find Jupiter and I'd find its moons and I'd start looking at this stuff. I'd absorb as much stuff as I possibly could. Podcasts, documentaries, anything. There wasn't enough stuff. And then of course I then ingest all of this. I then learn as much as I can, get very ve and when I say very very into it. I have an intense flurry of interest for a period of time.

[00:06:35]And it's not that that interest goes, it's just I feel that I I reached a point where I've I've learned and I mean I was learning about neutron stars, gammaray bursts. Um I was learn honestly I I'd learned about the big bang. I'd learned about the inflation theory. I'd learned about how the rate that galaxies moved away from each other. How Edwin Hubble had been the first person to notice that that the universe was expanding. All of this sort of stuff, right? Honestly, I get to a point I'm still very interested in it. In fact, I still listen to podcasts, but I almost scratched the itch. I don't I can't remember the last time the telescope I used it. Three years ago, maybe something something like that. I still retain interest.

[00:07:16]But what that would result in if any new information came up, I would then information dump it. And very much I've always been like that. And I thought about all my relationships. I have always been like that. And I think it probably can possibly be quite intense.

[00:07:28]It's not coming from a bad place. I'm excited and I want the other person to be equally excited. Hopefully that makes some sense and doesn't make me um sound like a sound like a complete imbecile.

[00:07:39]I've got some bullet points here.

[00:07:42]um what you can do. So I've got a bullet point. It's what I've already covered talking in huge detail very very quickly. So basically what I said some people with ADHD get excited about a topic and unload every thought at once before they forget it. This is really really really important which is the fear of losing the thought.

[00:08:03]When I speak quickly and when I try and get information out it has to be go out quickly because I know I know I'm so easily distracted. I know I can be distracted in a minute and then I won't have said it. And I'm I'm certainly nothing I am not blasze about forgetting forgetting to say something. That's bad in my book. That's I don't like that. That that that'll annoy me. Um so basically ADHD brains and I will recommend a book that talks about all this but we'll get to a later stage. ADHD brains basically move very fast. Um, so we have a tendency to rush everything and just just in case it disappears. That's just what happens.

[00:08:40]Um, I've got another another bullet point here which is mistaking in enthusiasm for oversharing.

[00:08:48]Oversharing is a really modern word. Um, and I think there's a lot of a lot of stuff that you've got to be careful with now, particularly social nuances.

[00:08:59]Um, people are more offended than things that they were about years ago. I think um there's this whole thing I found recently of people people being made uncomfortable. So a lot of people say, "Oh, I feel uncomfortable about that."

[00:09:18]And then there's this whole thing about oversharing. Now, now all this this I think this modern way is a minefield for a minefield for a lot of people because last thing you want to do is offend anyone, but you're not going out your way to offend anyone, but I feel the people's thresholds for offense have probably dropped a lot.

[00:09:38]And that whole thing about don't make anyone uncomfortable. Well, it would I would be horrified to think I had made anyone feel uncomfortable. I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. But what if just me speaking in my normal way about me sharing my experiences makes someone uncomfortable because that is known as oversharing. And and people watching this thinking, well, you're overthinking this, mate. No, no. This is this is prevalent. This is something that that happens. Um I've just written down here what feels like a passion or excitement can sometimes overwhelm the listener. It is completely unintentional. You're just motivated.

[00:10:14]you're just happy with what you're talking about. Um, jumping between connections and thoughts is that basically one idea links to another that makes conversations feel chaotic and difficult to follow for other people. I understand that in my own brain it makes sense and and I often get not accused I say accused people are people are nice and people are are lovely but going off on tangents and I mentioned in a video before my sister used to say to me why do you never finish a sentence halfway through the sentence my mind has wandered off to something else this this is total neurode divergence your it's not that your brain is wired incorrectly it is just different to what a neurologically typical person might think and the way they operate and and the way they speak. Um I I don't consider it to be a bad thing.

[00:11:10]I just want to say that, you know, I think it makes you quirky and it makes you a little bit different. Socially, there can be some drawbacks. There's no there's no doubt about that at all. But I think there are so many so many benefits. There's so many I I I think without my ADHD and without my brain operating the way it does, I probably wouldn't do the job I do now. Um not not a lot of people know this. Um some some people do. Years and years ago, I used to I used to be a magician. Uh and I know you're probably thinking, "What what what the hell? Where did that come from?" I did. So, um I used to I started off on a train. I used to work for a company called Marvin's Magic and I used to demonstrate magic tricks at Hamley's. I used to demonstrate magic at Harrods and then I I moved into and and learned magic and moved into close-up magic which I used to do. Um so I used to I used to work every day alongside um well as as you might know know him now as Steven Mullarn.

[00:12:12]Um I used to work with him every day and we we'd often share a lot of magic tricks. I mean he he was brilliant. was far better at it than I was. But it was definitely a benefit when I went to doing that close-up magic. Now I look back on it, I didn't realize, particularly when you're when you're working with cards and you're working with people and you've got to immediately pick up on what people are doing and you've got to get information out there and get that information back in and in some way try and do a magic trick. There was definitely a benefit looking back now to my ADHD that massively helped me on all that stuff.

[00:12:49]Absolutely. 100%.

[00:12:51]Um, we've already dis I've already discussed jumping between connected thoughts.

[00:12:57]Sorry, I'm just looking at my notes here. Hyperfocus on favorite topics.

[00:13:00]This this is really this is really it.

[00:13:02]It is something that's really interesting with people that have got ADHD.

[00:13:07]you you can go incredibly deep into a topic and you're hyperfocused that you don't notice that somebody else has mentally checked out.

[00:13:19]Um, so you know, you you're not necessarily picking up on those social cues.

[00:13:25]Again, it it's not coming from a bad a bad place, but you might you might recognize it later on. You really really might. So, just trying to get rid of my phone. It keep it just goes off. I hate That's the other thing. I hate phones. I should probably say that to you. I hate phones. I hate how much they beep. I I hate it. It's um I don't know if you know there's been this um not for for not for particularly recently, but for a little while now, there's this thing about phones. How do we Phones are addictive. People are addicted to phones. Um, and how they the phone when it goes off releases a little little chemical. It releases a little little chemical hit in your brain which makes you want to go to the phone. And I understand the concept of it. Whatever I have is is the opposite of it.

[00:14:15]Particularly if I'm doing something like like like that then I'll just explain to you then I heard that phone buzzing then it could be anything. I don't actually know. I've actually just thrown the phone on the floor. Um it it annoys me whatever the it gives me the ne negative chemicals that's for sure. So yeah I find phones whilst they're brilliant because you got all the information of the world at your fingertips as a distraction. They're a nightmare.

[00:14:39]They're a nightmare for ADHD. Well, we'll go into that. Maybe that's a separate video all by itself. Well, I just just go back on to that the hyperfocus thing. Do you're missing cues from social norms.

[00:14:52]Um later on that often prompts a bit of postcon conversation remorse, post post conversation regret because you can think you'll go back and think did I talk too much there? Was was I was I was I too much and I've got to say that is another another phrase which I hate.

[00:15:18]You're too much. Um and again it's something that that I heard you know throughout my younger years too much. Um and certainly heard this not my this is not my words but I've heard someone else that someone used to say to them can you be less of yourself which I think is a horrendous thing to say. That's worse than all the swear words put together.

[00:15:40]Right. That is that is that might be and and by the way I'm not even sure it's not not my story to tell but I'm not entirely sure that that was meant as an insult but it is the ultimate insult.

[00:15:54]Can you So I'm just checking my microphone's working. Can you be less of yourself?

[00:16:00]Um yeah that's that's that's something.

[00:16:02]Um anyway there you go. So so this one I don't know what we're going to call it.

[00:16:06]I talk too much. uh information dumping something like that. I don't even know I had to switch the screen. Well, I've been talking for 16 minutes. There you go. You can understand how I this has got to be compartmentalized into different videos now. Uh so yeah, listen again. I'm not going to apologize for saying it. Thanks so much for all the comments. Incredible.

[00:16:28]Somebody posted the other day that they hadn't even considered they might be ADHD until they watched the video was one where I sat on my sofa um and now they think they might be and they're going to go and get a diagnosis.

[00:16:40]I think that's amazing. I think that's amazing. I think that's incredible. I was genuinely genuinely thrilled to read that. And I said to Lisa the other day, reading these comments, it gives me a real lift. Um, there's no more validation for doing this channel than by what you lovely folks are watching, writing in the comments. So, uh, if I can share my my own experiences at the time, uh, you know, at at the same time as, you know, anybody that's got any of these shared traits is maybe thinking, "Oh, okay. Well, okay, that's not just me then." Then that's great because I told you before in the other video, been told so many times, "You're weird and you're this, that, and the other." And it's not I don't want to make it sound I've had a terrible life. I don't want that at all. I've had a great life. I honestly I really, really have. I really have. Um, so it's it's not that it's not I I'm not I don't want to pretend I had a terrible childhood. That would be incorrect as well. I got, as I've said to you before, I got great family and friends.

[00:17:48]Honestly, I've got a lovely little pooch in there. Um he was I didn't I didn't bring him in uh for this one but honestly great great family and friends but there are things from your childhood which which maybe indicate and where times where you've you've felt uncomfortable where times where you haven't felt that you've been included in the social norms um and you know and times when you you have felt like an an outsider and that's what I'm talking about here um but read these comments on these videos. I'm not talking I'm talking I I I have and I do.

[00:18:26]But you can often spend time on the internet and come to the conclusion that people are unkind. And of course there are unkind people. There are some I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But you read the comments on this channel and you'll be left under no illusion that there are so many kind and lovely and nice people.

[00:18:45]It's amazing. It's incredible. And actually think it there's a few there's a few people have said, "Oh, I needed this channel now. Thanks for doing it.

[00:18:51]Actually, I think I needed it. So, that's great if it helps if it helps us both. I definitely needed it. I needed to see that. I needed to see that was at a, you know, a bit of a bit of a low point. And I I don't want to, as I say, I don't want to cross-pollinate I don't want to overly cross-pollinate depression with the ADHD. I do have both, but I do think they're separate.

[00:19:12]And I I, as I say, I can't I can't make a positive case to you. There's nothing good about depression. There's nothing good about anxiety. There's nothing good about foroding and panic attacks. That's All right. But I think there's plenty good about ADHD. I still waiting on me. Autism. If you don't know, I I I did the um I did the test. I went through um the diagnosis and I was um and I I came out six out of 10 for autism. I think there's plenty of good stuff for autism as well. I don't want to I don't want to confuse those those things. So, um there there's nothing Well, I say there's nothing good to say.

[00:19:48]You can help people. You can help and you can advise help. Um, but there's nothing positive. You can't say, "Oh, that panic attack would be good for you." No, no, no. It's not. But there, as I say, there are numerous traits. Um, and and I see them call superpowers, and I like that. I like that. Who's who says who's who says talking about the cosmos at midnight is a bad thing, you know?

[00:20:13]So, you just look, you just don't know.

[00:20:14]Um, information dumping. That's what I spoke about today. Hopefully you enjoyed the video.