Apple Will Never Be The Same

本站添加: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]All the tech news can be really stressful, but today we're gonna try one of my medicinal herbs. It'll expand your mind real wide, man.

[00:00:12]Okay.

[00:00:14]Apple has announced that Tim Cook, the company's CEO since 2011, is stepping down. He will be transitioning into his new role as executive chairman of the board of directors, who approved the switch unanimously out of fear of Tim's bullying. Buy all of your mom's an iPhone.

[00:00:32]>> Please, Tim. SHE ALREADY HAS ONE. BUY HER ANOTHER ONE. Cook will be replaced by Apple's senior vice president of hardware engineering, John Turnis. A move which is absolutely slanderous to Craig Federigi. This man worked his ass off to impress me and it worked. Like, come on. That's CEO material. He even had a cool voice, too, for impressions.

[00:00:57]>> iOS 18 is a big release.

[00:00:59]>> I start every morning with a blood latte made for my enemy's remains.

[00:01:05]What does Turnis sound like?

[00:01:07]>> We are thrilled to introduce the impossibly thin iPhone air.

[00:01:11]>> He sounds like the guy from Parks and Wreck that was written off after season 1 cuz he was too boring. Tim published a letter, okay, where he says this Turnis guy is so great, but he would say that.

[00:01:22]Oh well, I mean, at least Johnny Shrewi was named Apple's chief hardware officer. Finally, you deserved it, Shrewi.

[00:01:31]That is such a classic Shrewi move.

[00:01:34]Shrew's my boy. A Spanish company called Plleix just beat Valve to the punch, launching its own Steam Machine like competitor months before the actual Steam Machine ships. The console-shaped mini PC comes from the Emu Deck team.

[00:01:50]Yes, the retro emulation folks. packing a Ryzen 5 5500, a Radeon RX960 XT with 16 gigs of VRAM and 16 gigs of DDR4, which is the kind of choice you only make when DDR5 costs more than the GPU.

[00:02:06]Planix OS, a custom Arch Linux build, handles couch gaming and controller first navigation, all wrapped in a 3D printed shell that looks like what would happen if an Xbox Series S and a record player had a baby. Anything's possible.

[00:02:20]The starting price is €1,140, which feels kind of steep for a machine preemptively dunking on a product that doesn't exist, especially since Valve still hasn't confirmed complete specs or pricing for the actual Steam Machine.

[00:02:34]Still, if you can't wait for the Gabe Cube, Planex will happily sell you a Gabe less rectangle to fill the void.

[00:02:41]Brave just unveiled Brave Origin, a minimalist new version of its browser that strips out everything except the ad blocking and anti-tracking features.

[00:02:52]Finally, a piece of software that respects my commitment to getting less for my money. Uh, evidently Brave users had been complaining about the bloat of the additional features like the crypto wallet, the VPN, and Leo AI, going so far as to strip them out themselves manually. According to Brave, the additional features exist in the free version to help fund the app's development, but they also sit in opposition to Brave's privacy first ethos. And apparently that's a problem for some people. While on paper this looks like a weird product move that whiffs of inification, Brave says that they're just giving users two paths.

[00:03:32]Keep using the free browser or pay 60 bucks to support the company and get the stripped down origin build. Linux users get Origin for free though because in Brave's view, people who use Linux are crazy and they just compile their own version anyway. Brave, your product moves are confusing. But I got to give you this. You know your audience. Hey, that reminds me of our sponsor, MicroEnter. April is desktop deals month at MicroEnter, and they've slashed prices on some stacked rigs. Check out some of their amazing deals like this I buy Power Slate 9 with an RTX 570 for $450 off. Also, if you live in Austin, Texas, jealous cuz you guys are getting a micro center. And contrary to what the name would have you believe, it's actually pretty big. The grand opening will be later this year and you can sign up at the link below to get a free 128 gig flash drive when the store opens. In this economy, not in Austin, but still want the flash drive, don't stress about it. at MicroEnter is also doing a grand reopening in North Jersey with the same deal. Forget about it. That's what they sound like, right? And for all things tech and all things MicroEnter, make sure you head over to MicroEnter News to stay up tod date. It's not as good as tech news, but it's pretty cool. Okay, are we feeling nice and expanded? Oh, good. Now, let's roll some quick bits before the crash written by someone who has not, you know, I don't know. SKH Heinik employees could each receive $477,000 in bonuses this year, according to the Korean news outlet Jun Daily, because that's where we're at right now.

[00:05:09]Evidently, this is a result of a new bonus structure entitling employees to a 10% share of the company's projected $169 billion operating profit for 2026.

[00:05:21]Meanwhile, Samsung's labor union, which is pushing for a 15% bonus, is threatening a general strike. Not having employees available to work, though, may also be a problem for SKHENX after all of their employees very soon make enough to retire, no problem. The NSA is using Anthropic's new Mythos AI model despite the Pentagon labeling Anthropic a supply chain risk. According to Axios's confidential sources, the Pentagon cut ties with Anthropic in February after they refused to allow mass domestic surveillance, among other things.

[00:05:56]Honestly, this all tracks based on what I know about spies from falling asleep halfway through Tomorrow Never Dies.

[00:06:02]Nothing makes them want something more than being told they can't have it. And that's James Bond's fundamental flaw.

[00:06:08]Steam is now running on the original Nintendo Switch thanks to the latest Proton beta, which quietly added ARM 64 support ahead of the release of Valve's upcoming Steam Frame headset, which will run on an ARM processor. Blue Sky modder AA Gaming got the client booting on a jailbroken switch running Ubuntu using a translation layer called FEX to burn x86 instructions into something ARM can actually use. Now, there's only one small catch. Games don't actually run on the Switch yet. Turns out a 2015 Nvidia chip running Linux performs about as well as you'd expect. A humanoid robot named Lightning just smoked the half marathon world record in Beijing.

[00:06:49]Kachchow, clocking 50 minutes and 26 seconds, nearly 7 minutes faster than Ugandan runner Jacob Capimo's record from last month. Honor's fleet of man-shaped machines actually swept the top six spots using a liquid cooling solution adapted from phones. Meanwhile, a rival bot had to be physically restrained after mid race it suddenly realized the horror of its own existence. It just couldn't take it. And Prago, the pasta sauce brand, has made a dinner conversation recording device called the connection keeper. The puckshaped mic records your family's conversations for 20 bucks and surprisingly has no Wi-Fi, no Bluetooth, and no cloud connection. Instead, through Prago's partnership with Story Core, the folks who archive voices at the Library of Congress, you can optionally upload your conversations to said archive. Because why wouldn't you?

[00:07:48]You got to archive that riotony recipe you told Mark about last night. That's a keeper.

[00:07:55]Just like I'll make you rioton if you come back on Wednesday for more tech news. That is not a promise though.

[00:08:03]Somebody else wrote that line. Dude, I think I just did a whole tech news show.

[00:08:08]Ah, dude. Did you remember to hit record? Someone checked the tape, man.

[00:08:16]See you later.