The Lift

Added: 2026-05-11

[00:00:04]How's everything looking?

[00:00:08]>> Yeah.

[00:00:09]Yeah. Good. The tops are cute. Uh, not sure about the pants, though.

[00:00:15]>> Do you want me to grab you some other options?

[00:00:18]>> Um, no. Um, no. No. You know what? I'm good.

[00:00:24]Sadly, I do not think that vintage pants are friends with my hips.

[00:00:28]It sounds like the jeans are missing out. All right, let me know if you need anything. Yeah, we'll do.

[00:01:10]Babe, no rush. Just a heads up. We're closing in a few minutes.

[00:01:14]>> Yeah, just be a sec.

[00:01:24]Hey. Hi. So, what do you think? Want me to bring anything to cash for you?

[00:01:30]>> No. No. You know what? I'm I'm going to have to come back another day. I'm feeling way too ADHD to make any decisions right now. But, um, thank you.

[00:01:39]You have been lovely. You are lovely.

[00:01:43]And, um, I will see you later.

[00:01:47]Okay. Bye.

[00:02:05]Hey babe.

[00:02:07]>> Hey.

[00:02:08]>> You ready?

[00:02:10]>> I was um >> Hey, is this a new shirt?

[00:02:15]>> I like it.

[00:02:16]>> It is. Yeah, >> I think you should maybe wear this to Ruth's thing tonight.

[00:02:24]>> I could Oh, I was thinking of the purple one though. Or or we could stay in tonight. A, you're so cute and charming.

[00:02:38]Shut up. Come on. Get ready.

[00:03:02]Hey, what's wrong?

[00:03:34]Hallelujah.

[00:04:05]I'm going to get a snack. Do you want anything?

[00:04:08]>> No, I'm good. Thanks, love.

[00:04:09]>> Okay.

[00:04:14]>> Are you sure?

[00:04:25]>> So, what are you going to do?

[00:04:31]>> [ __ ] >> I'm personally feeling a little insulted. You went to the trouble of stealing me and now you won't even wear me.

[00:04:39]>> Am I on drugs?

[00:04:41]>> Buddy, you tell me. I'm just a talking shirt.

[00:04:49]>> I'm losing my mind.

[00:04:50]>> Likely. Look, I'm just saying the store employee probably didn't notice anything. She probably doesn't even remember you.

[00:04:59]>> I was the last person in the store at closing time and I was flirting with her. She remembers me. GKY.

[00:05:05]>> God, you're so stupid. I was so stupid.

[00:05:10]I didn't even do a stupid thing smart. I did a stupid thing stupidly.

[00:05:15]>> You're right.

[00:05:16]>> What?

[00:05:17]>> You were stupid and reckless and now you're going to get caught and you're going to GET ARRESTED AND LOSE YOUR JOB AND JEN'S GOING TO BREAK UP WITH YOU.

[00:05:25]THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.

[00:05:30]>> I know. You said you didn't want anything, but I brought you some anyways.

[00:05:44]Aren't they good?

[00:05:47]Mhm.

[00:05:58]>> I told you.

[00:05:59]>> Be good if the shoplifter will come and take you.

[00:06:02]Pick me.

[00:06:04]I'm scared.

[00:06:25]Hey, how are you?

[00:06:26]>> [ __ ] Hi. Hi.

[00:06:35]Okay, so I I was in here the other day and I >> Are you okay?

[00:06:41]>> No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

[00:06:44]No.

[00:06:49]Okay. [ __ ] Um, I I came in the other day and um and I took a shirt and I didn't I didn't pay for it. Um, I'm so sorry. I'm a piece of [ __ ] So, I I want to pay for it now.

[00:07:03]And um I don't know, I'll pay extra or something and have myself banned from the store forever.

[00:07:10]>> Okay. Um, I guess I'm going to go talk to my manager and uh I'll be right back.

[00:07:37]Oh, [ __ ] Oh, hey. Welcome back. Guess you like something enough to decide on it after all.

[00:07:44]>> Oh [ __ ] I guess she does remember you.

[00:07:48]>> You shut the [ __ ] up.

[00:07:49]>> What?

[00:07:50]>> What? Nothing. Nothing. Um I said I'm a [ __ ] up. And um I'm so sorry. I don't I don't know what I was thinking. I'm a piece of [ __ ] and I I I want to make this right. I'm so sorry that I stole from your store. Hey.

[00:08:06]Whoa. Just first take a breath.

[00:08:12]What's your name?

[00:08:14]Sammy.

[00:08:16]Hey, Sammy.

[00:08:18]I'm Trish. And Sammy, I cannot emphasize enough how much I do not give a [ __ ] about shoplifterss in this place. This isn't my store.

[00:08:33]Oh, I thought that Oh, you thought this was a locallyowned vintage shop?

[00:08:40]Yeah. No, we are owned by a massive American conglomerate who resells overpriced vintage clothing that they source for literal pennies.

[00:08:54]Like, do you have any idea how much money this company makes annually compared to how much I make annually?

[00:09:02]Like my student loans have student loans and like this job doesn't even pay the interest on them.

[00:09:11]Meanwhile, our CEO was just photographed in the Maldes on his massive yacht for a spread in Forbes magazine.

[00:09:22]So yeah, I think he can afford to give away a few outfits.

[00:09:28]I literally don't care.

[00:09:32]You know what? In fact, I am rooting for the shoplifterss. I'm rooting for you.

[00:09:41]Yeah. I mean, yeah. [ __ ] the 1% obviously. Um, it's just that I stole, so I just feel like I should be punished.

[00:09:50]>> Damn. Keep it in your pants.

[00:09:53]>> Living in this economy is punishment enough. I mean, honestly, like, you don't even have to buy the shirt if you don't want to. It is seriously overpriced.

[00:10:03]>> I do kind of hate it now.

[00:10:05]>> [ __ ] you too then.

[00:10:07]>> You know Rick and I were talking in the back and we think it is so amazing that you turned yourself in. Like you know nobody does that, right? Like that is so brave.

[00:10:18]>> Okay. Feel like you guys are being way too nice to me.

[00:10:22]>> I mean if you need some kind of closure or something we could take your photo, throw it up on the wall, you know, kind of like a scarred letter then.

[00:10:30]Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would actually be great.

[00:10:34]>> Okay. Yeah.

[00:10:38]>> Oh yeah, baby. That's good. A bit. A bit. A bit. Lower. Lower. Oh yeah. To the left. To the left. That's the spot.

[00:10:49]Lower it. To the left. To the left. Dad.

[00:10:55]Hey, I am I about it. Heat. Heat.