Being Unemployed Made Me Feel Less Than Human

[00:00:01]Am I tripping or is that pigeon alive?

[00:00:04]Cuz this [ __ ] been standing here for a minute low key.

[00:00:09]Hey homie, you good?

[00:00:12]You good, Mud?

[00:00:15]Is he alive? Oh, he is alive. Okay.

[00:00:21]Welcome to the channel, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Mr. Darling and this is Machine Guy East. I'm not going to even hold you up. This is like my fifth or sixth time starting this goddamn video. I came out here to go for my walk because it's been hot all week and so you have to like literally come out and get your cardio at night or else you would like literally die. So I came out here to the strip to go for a walk.

[00:00:40]But then I forgot when you walk past all these hotels, they're all blaring music out of the freaking speakers. And I'm not trying to have y'all, you know, and I'm not trying to have myself get a copyright strike or nothing like that.

[00:00:54]So I just like try to avoid that. That's why I don't come down here that much.

[00:00:57]I'm like, why don't I come down here?

[00:00:58]It's so pretty down here. I don't bring y'all down here. When I come down here to walk, it's because of the licensed music. You go walk 5 ft, there's licensed music blaring out of the speakers and you talk about, you know, you make a 20minute video and then all these companies all of a sudden want to claim your work. That's not fair. So, I don't want to go through that. And anyway, welcome to the channel, y'all.

[00:01:20]I'm glad that y'all are here. I wanted to talk about being unemployed long term because being unemployed long term can really be debilitating to your mental health. It really can. Especially when you're considering the economy that we living in, okay? and the fact that in order to get a job, you have to put an application or resume in through a filter that oftent times is using AI and one wrong part filled out on an application, one wrong thing that goes against some metric on your resume and then all of a sudden you're not getting a call back.

[00:01:55]And that's not that's not fair. You know what I'm saying? People are going months, sometimes even over a year trying to find a job because they're being eliminated before they're even being able to get an interview. Some people getting an interview and then they're getting second, third, fourth, fifth round interviews. And I think that [ __ ] is [ __ ] too. How many [ __ ] times do I have to come in here and talk to you before you know you're going to hire me or not? That's that's that crushes the mental health. But it ain't even just the job surf search itself, you know, that is mentally taxing when it comes to being unemployed long term.

[00:02:29]It's the people that you live with, okay? And don't don't find yourself in some relationship with a person, okay?

[00:02:35]And you not being able to, you know, pull your pull your weight. Oh my god, all those babies go out the window real quick. Them pet names stop. They dry up, [laughter] you know, because people will depend on you to help them. Especially like I said in this economy and if you can't find a job in a timely fashion, people will start to judge you. You understand? Oh, we going to walk y'all. We going to walk. I'm bring That's why I bring y'all out here so we can walk. So, let's put this stuff up.

[00:03:04]We going to walk and talk. People watch and stuff.

[00:03:10]You know what I mean? I don't know. I was thinking about that because I had a period of a couple years where I couldn't find a job. This was oo this was like actually before I came out here to Vegas back in 20 what is that 20? Let me straighten this out for y'all. back in 20 17 from like 2016, 2017 all the way up until like 2018 when I moved out here and found a job at a liquor store. I could not find a job. I couldn't. And I was there with my kids' mom and my kids. And like I said, like I could feel the respect dry up despite the fact that it wasn't like I wasn't trying. It wasn't like I wasn't looking.

[00:03:59]But out there in that valley where we live, there wasn't a lot of prospects.

[00:04:02]There wasn't a lot of prospects to to for anything. Not even to work at goddamn McDonald's. You have to know somebody to know somebody to get into a goddamn place. Now, I don't even know if this Spanish music will probably pick up. It probably will. So, I'm just going to say la.

[00:04:18]That's why I don't bring y'all down here with that [ __ ] because it's like always some [ __ ] playing blazing out the goddamn out the goddamn speakers. But when I was out there, I fell into a really deep depression. I gained a lot of weight. There's like pictures of me.

[00:04:35]There's pictures of me at that time and I have like a I have like a belly and all I did was like eat and play the game. That's the time when I had just like the top of the leaderboards and the Destiny Crucible and the freaking PvP that they had in that game. And it was because I just didn't I didn't have anything else to do with myself. I don't have anything else to do with myself but play that goddamn game. And it's funny because you start to see uh people look at you differently. You start to see people treat you differently. It feels different. You know what I'm saying?

[00:05:06]Because you can't provide anything.

[00:05:08]You're not bringing in no income. You know what I'm saying? And you try to find like all these different ways to do it. And then it makes you understand why hood [ __ ] become hood [ __ ] Hood [ __ ] sometimes become hood [ __ ] because they don't have a [ __ ] choice. There's no prospects around where they are. There's no jobs. there's no there's no opportunity. So they say, "You know what? [ __ ] it. I'm just going to go ahead and flip this. I'm going to go ahead and do this. I'm going to go ahead and rob this. I'm going to go ahead and run through these people. I'm going to go ahead and run through that."

[00:05:31]That's what they do. And sometime I don't I don't blame them because what else did they do? They going to lose the respect of everybody that they love.

[00:05:37]They're going to lose the respect of the society. They're going to lose the respect. And people have more respect for [ __ ] like robbing a [ __ ] than not and getting money that way than they do from, you know, you not bringing in anything. People look at you as a [ __ ] bum. Y'all see me around the city all the time. time I walk past people that are just standing in the gutter. How much respect do you think those people have? You think a robber has more respect than the people? They absolutely [ __ ] do, right?

[00:06:03]Because people are more so judging you on what you can do. If you have no skills, you know, they'll say, "Oh, at least that robber has a skill." You know what I'm saying? At least he can at least he knows a way to bring in money and all that other stuff. This these bums don't know how to these bums are just useless scourges on society. You know what I'm saying? And that's what you feel like. And even when you're in a place with a person, you feel like that.

[00:06:26]You feel like you feel like ass. Your kids start to lose respect for you. At least mine did.

[00:06:33]I remember I had got like a um email from my daughter telling me how much of a piece of [ __ ] I am. Vlad made a video about her mom and it she she she you know, she was in her feelings. I get it.

[00:06:45]You know, she was justified in her feelings. I It did hurt my feelings though. And she was just saying how the only thing that she remembers about me is playing the game and how I never wanted to work and all this other stuff.

[00:06:56]And I wanted to say, "Sweetheart, I'm the only adult that you've known that has had a consistent consistent job. I fell on [ __ ] hard times at that time.

[00:07:06]I couldn't find anything, baby. But that that doesn't matter." You understand?

[00:07:11]It's about what you can provide in the moment. You know what I mean? There's people I saw, who was it I saw talking to their daughter? Um, Stephen A. Smith was talking to his daughter. He was like, "Yeah, what? So, if I get sick or if I get old, what are you going to do with me?" She said, "I'm going to put your ass in a nursing home. [laughter] I'm going He like, "Yeah." And you know, people were saying they were joking and they were just ribbing on each other and and there's some and I'm pretty sure there's some truth to that, right? But I can see on his face that it kind of hurt his feelings. You know what I'm saying?

[00:07:43]Because of all the stuff that he he's provided for her, she was like, "What?

[00:07:47]you going to stay in my house with my kids and my car? And and he's he's like, "Yeah, I'm your daddy. If I get sick, you ain't going to take care of me."

[00:07:55]She's like, "No." He was like, "Well, not you specifically." He was like, "Maybe you can get like, you know, like a nurse or something to come." No, [ __ ] Your utility is shot. Once you're old ass man, your ass going to get stuffed somewhere. And we going to go through all this money that you earned in your life and we going to divvy that [ __ ] up. We going to divvy that [ __ ] We that shit's going to be divvied up amongst the siblings and you just going to have to you just going to have to eat that one. You know what I'm saying?

[00:08:20]That's what it is. That's the That's what That's what it is. You know what I'm saying? So don't that's and that's a millionaire. So don't be just a regular [ __ ] where your savings start drying up because you can't because you can't find a [ __ ] job. Your savings start drying up. You have a little bit of money in there. That [ __ ] start drying up. your your your girl or your spouse is bringing in all the cheese, you might as well just chop off your dick. You might as well just chop off your dick because it's your job to come up with some [ __ ] money some kind of way. One way or the other. One way the [ __ ] other don't care. They'll tell you get out there and figure it out. Some [ __ ] Some [ __ ] only option. Some Some [ __ ] only know how to figure it out one way. You know what I mean? Some [ __ ] don't know how to Some [ __ ] ain't geniuses. Look at that.

[00:09:10]>> [laughter] >> Y'all see that cart? That is so cool.

[00:09:14]It's like a a big ass shopping cart [ __ ] blaring goddamn Beyonce because you know copyrights and all that. God damn it. God damn it, brother. But I that but that card is worth I got a copyright for some Beyonce for that cart is I guess it is what it is. I just don't see how these [ __ ] demons in these music industry get away with that [ __ ] for a [ __ ] a second of [ __ ] music playing in the background of of of reality. They get to monetize it. That just that just irks me. You know what I mean? That just makes me feel away. You know what I mean? Like cuz eventually they're going to be like, "Oh, if you look at this thing, you're going to have to pay us a dime. If you look at this thing or if you or if you catch our logo in one of your videos, you're going to have to pay us something." Like they just want to charge you for [ __ ] every for everything, brother. You can't, oh, we're going to get a piece of that.

[00:10:06]We're going to get a piece of that video you just did because, you know what I'm saying? There was a little bit of there was a little bit of uh Tony Tony Tony playing in the background. And that group was a popular group [laughter] back in the time. So, you're going to have to give us some money, brother. Oh my god, it's frustrating. Hold on, y'all. Let me put on my glasses real quick and then we going to continue on with our trick cuz I can't see a mother effing thing.

[00:10:33]All right, let me show you. Look at that. All right, you see? There we go.

[00:10:37]All right, I guess I can put this helmet on, too, cuz we are going to ride. We going to ride hard.

[00:10:45]We going to ride into the night, ladies and gentlemen.

[00:10:49]But don't lose your job, boys. Don't lose your job. And I'm bringing it up because it's like there's a lot of layoffs happening here in the city, too, you know. And what's that what's the sports cer? He's a he's a popular sports cer on ESPN, too. Uh I don't know his name. He's a black dude. He got laid off on air and he just didn't continue the show. And I wouldn't continue the show either. Y'all going to lay me off and y'all want me to continue on with the broadcast? Y'all figure out who going to [ __ ] finish this broadcast cuz it damn sure ain't going to be me. The [ __ ] That's why they tell you not to even put in two weeks. You put in two weeks, [ __ ] start acting real funny. Real funny. when I worked at uh the gym out here, me and this other girl, we were the night crew and we had, you know, we had other stuff going on and I was like, "Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and put my two weeks in." You know, those people just stopped talking to us. I I just couldn't believe how how rude they were to us and they were super rude to her. I like they I don't know if they wasn't rude to me because like I'm like I would have been like y'all I would have said something was like y'all [ __ ] need to chill. But they were extremely rude to her. They cancelled her membership within two weeks of us leaving. My membership lasted two like two extra years. They were rude when we left and it was all and we gave them a two weeks. We we literally was like, "Oh yeah, look, I'm putting in my two weeks because I'm going here." And she had something else.

[00:12:02]I think her she her like her husband was taking care of her [ __ ] so it wasn't like even a thing. But yeah, man.

[00:12:10]Unemployment, bro. That's why people take their self out the game. Self-worth is gone. Self-worth is shot. Identity is shot. Especially when you're rich and like you're like the patriarch or you're like the matriarch.

[00:12:23]>> That's awesome. Here we go. Here we go.

[00:12:27]Here we go.

[00:12:32]>> All huffed up for nothing, [ __ ] >> See? See?

[00:12:37][laughter] But you know, you know, you you lose your job and you out here in this heat for a minute, you going to start talking to yourself, too.

[00:12:48]You going to start yelling at at phantom [ __ ] too. Like, these [ __ ] these [ __ ] [ __ ] and all this other stuff. All right, y'all. We going to ride past this casino cuz I can already hear the music about to start blaring. And so, we going to get in this street and then once we get past the street, we'll talk a little bit more.

[00:13:03]And I know y'all like me doing like these videos. That's why I like kind of like bring y'all out here with this [ __ ] And I like you try like That nigga's really tripping out here.

[00:13:11]He really out here tripping in these streets. That's unfortunate for him. Let me see if I can get through here without offending anybody. I can't. Woo!

[00:13:23]There we go, y'all.

[00:13:58]And I'm not saying another well they should take care of you if you don't have like a job or money, right? But sometimes it can be [ __ ] up, right?

[00:14:06]Like I've seen people who are like 18, 19, they just getting out of high school. They can't, you know, they don't have no no life skills. Not not because they're like dumb or anything, but because their parents didn't teach them anything. You know what I'm saying? Like they didn't like their parents didn't teach them anything and the school didn't teach them [ __ ] So how the [ __ ] how the [ __ ] are they supposed to figure out how to get a [ __ ] job? You know what I mean? Like, by the way, people hate these scooters in this city. So, if somebody tries to run me over, don't be surprised.

[00:14:45]They don't like to share the road.

[00:14:47]Yeah, I'd rather murder you and take a charge than sure to roll with a filthy [ __ ] scooter.

[00:14:59][laughter] There you go. Only reason I went that way though is because it was people walking. So, it is what it is. Let's see if it's some more music over here.

[00:15:12]Show us some music. Nope. Ain't no music so far. Look at that stratosphere. Ain't that beautiful, y'all?

[00:15:21]I saw a lady kick out her daughter like on on camera. Her daughter was her daughter like was like, okay, so her daughter I guess had came back from college. So her daughter don't you know her daughter was from from coming from school and so where else does her daughter go besides her mother's house or like her mommy's house, right? So, he goes to her mom's house and I guess her mom has a boyfriend and the the mom has a boyfriend and the she's jealous of the daughter. She don't want the daughter walking around the house just looking like a young lady because the lady the girls the girl is wearing a mumu. She's not even wearing like anything provocative. Like literally a mumu like all the way down to her ankles. But the mom is like, "I don't want you wearing that around my man." Da d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d right. And the girl's like, "It's a [ __ ] mumu." Like if your man is turned on by this, you need to talk to your man and not me. Like what the [ __ ] does that have to do with me? That what what does that have to do with me if he's looking at me in a moo? She's like, I don't give a [ __ ] about that. It got to the point she told her, you need to wear socks around this house because you know her man likes feet. And like I'm like, what the [ __ ] And so the girl, she's like, if you can't if you can't respect my rules, right? You know, don't walk around in mumoo. Like what else? You know what the [ __ ] I guess he's supposed to wear I guess he's supposed to wear jeans and a sweater at all times. if you can't respect my rules, then you can get the [ __ ] out.

[00:16:41]And the girl's like, "Where the [ __ ] am I supposed to go? Like, you're my mom.

[00:16:44]Like, I don't have no I'm just, you know, I'm here from school and everything, and I'm not trying to get at your man or nothing." And and and the mom is like, "I don't give a fuck." And I was just like, "Godamn, bro. I'm sorry. I just I wasn't about to stop.

[00:16:57]I You know, that's what helmets are for." You feel me?

[00:17:02]That is what helmets are for.

[00:17:08]Oh, but we going downtown. I hope y'all like this little this little excursion that we're taking.

[00:17:21]Come the [ __ ] on. Really?

[00:17:25][ __ ] Did y'all see that [ __ ] This [ __ ] Clark crossed two goddamn lanes.

[00:17:37]Jesus.

[00:17:50]The [ __ ] we got going on up here? It's not a [ __ ] drop off.

[00:17:57]I don't know why people think they could just stop on Las Vegas Boulevard like it ain't going to disrupt traffic.

[00:18:06]Oh, I can't believe what that guy just did.

[00:18:14]Are we good? We good, mud?

[00:18:18]Yo, [ __ ] stupid.

[00:18:27][groaning] That's I'm telling you, bro. [laughter] [ __ ] Vegas drivers, bro.

[00:18:41]Either you going to turn or what? You know what we doing? This [ __ ] is just creeping.

[00:18:59]Look at this street. You got to go all You literally got to go into the middle of the goddamn into the middle of the damn thing just to get into the street.

[00:19:05]It's just crazy.

[00:19:09]There we go. Woo. All right, we back downtown.

[00:19:14]It's a little bit more quiet down here.

[00:19:17]The traffic ain't as cra Well, this is like the art art district or whatever.

[00:19:22]Art district, you know. I was down here earlier getting some uh B-roll and stuff and getting some pictures like the weddings down here. There's weddings like every weekend. I've showed y'all the weddings.

[00:19:37]But that's the video, y'all. I'm about to take my ass home. Y'all got to see a little bit of excitement, a little bit of uh action-packed stuff. But if you looking for a job, I do want to say this. I do want to have like this message, right? If you have if you've been having if you've been having trouble if you've been having trouble finding a job, I just want to say that you're not alone. Your selfworth ain't tied to your employment and being a slave. Why is this [ __ ] in the street? Somebody tell me why this [ __ ] in the street.

[00:20:17]your your self-worth ain't you know just even if your family trying to make you feel that way or people trying to make you feel that way your self worth ain't tied to how much money you can make or whether or not you have a job. You know what I'm saying?

[00:20:33]Especially if you're trying to find a job. Especially if you know you've been looking. Especially if you know you've been searching application after application, resume after resume. No call back. No call back. No call back.

[00:20:44]Like I said, two years. Two years of me sitting in there on my baby mama floor.

[00:20:50]Two years of me playing Destiny. Two years of me trying to find work out there in Palmdale, not being able to do it. Right. Here's the whole Pawn Star story, y'all. Um, two years. Two straight years, right? Two years of like going through [ __ ] selling toys and pawn and [ __ ] and getting little bits of money. Two years. One of the things I used to do, if you if you knew my old channel, my old old channel, okay? I would go out, especially when I first moved here, I was so broke, bro, and this when this is when weed first became legal. I would come out here and I would look for butts of weed on the ground.

[00:21:29]Dangerous as [ __ ] cuz that [ __ ] could be laced. It could have been all kind of crack in there and fent fentinel. You know what I'm saying? I could have just took I literally could have hit some fent, right? Like like easily hit some fent like but I was I was I was I needed to get I needed to get my fix and there was no money, you know? I couldn't even get $5, y. I couldn't find a job. You know what I mean? And the longer you can't find a job, you feel dusty, bro.

[00:21:52]You feel broker and broker. The the the longer the longer you It's weird. But it's like even when you do have money in the you just start feeling broke and broke and you do go and if you have savings and you're lucky enough to have savings, you're going to eat away at them savings, bro. Them savings them savings ain't going to stay. You know what I'm saying? Even if it's a lot of money, you know what I mean? That eventually, unless you living well below your means, that that [ __ ] goes away, you know? But I'm telling you, your self worth is is is you you're worth more than that. You know, people eat bullets because they lose jobs. That's the That's why because their self-worth is tied to what they can provide. They It's tied to that. You lose that you [ __ ] like a I got to say even even a pay cut for some people going from like oh the office right or or upper middle management a [ __ ] algorithm then took your job or some AI didn't took your job. Now you working you got to oh [ __ ] I got to get back into working flipping burgers and standing on my feet. I'm not even used to standing on my feet like that, bro. I don't want to do that. And it's and it's it's significantly less money than I'm making. Imagine going from a job where you're making six figures, you know, and I mean like $250,000 a year to now all of a sudden you making $12 an hour. What do you do?

[00:23:04]That's why [ __ ] like be like, "Yeah, I'm done. I'm not doing this. I'm I'm I'm about to take myself out." Don't do that. It's more than life than just working. It's more than life than just making money. And if the people in your life can't understand that or if they don't see your value in that, then that's on them cuz eventually they'll have to face that they'll have to come up against that wall too of whether or not they have to prove their value to this world through monetary, you know, stuff, right? That that goes for spouses, that go for um your children, that goes for your parents. You know what I'm saying? Eventually, we all go come up against this wall where we're facing some type of economic destitute or some type of even even if it's not economic destitute, right? You could be secure in your health your whole life, but then you can come up against a wall of of illness, right? That's a wall, too, right? That's a that's a that's a big wall. And then you would have to rely on that same family that you judge for not having this, that, and the other. You feel me? So, don't let that [ __ ] get to you because you can't find a job, right? And a lot of people, and I and and I know that's easier said than done. Money has to be made. You got to make some goddamn money, right? And I'm bringing this all up because I'm I've been I this has been something that's been on my mind recently because so many people are looking for work, right?

[00:24:18]That's why I go to the whole, oh, I see why people are selling [ __ ] I see why people are trapping. I see why people are robbing.

[00:24:27]I see. I understand. I get it because they don't know how else to do. It ain't just [ __ ] that are junkies or [ __ ] that are just career criminals.

[00:24:35]Sometimes [ __ ] backs against the [ __ ] wall and they like, "Yo, this is the only way I could do." They not calling me back, bro. What do I do? I'm going to have to go ahead just take it out. Just take it out, society. So, with that being said, ladies and gentlemen, I hope you guys enjoyed this video. I hope you guys enjoyed this little walk of mine. I am nearly home. It ain't going to take me but like but like 2 seconds to get home, honestly, with this scooter. Um, I I reserved a lot of the battery when I went down there. And I actually walked down there like down to the Strat and then I rolled the scooter down a little bit further down the strip and I was like, "Oh, I can't film down here. Everybody's playing music." So, I started to walk back and that's when I that's when y'all join me. So, that being said, y'all, I'll catch y'all next time. Okay. Bye-bye.