The Pain of Unanswered Questions - Nancy Guthrie Case #grief #mentalhealth

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]Like when a person passes away, you have that deep fog.

[00:00:03]>> Right, there's a fog that comes and doesn't go away right away. It does not lift right away. So, imagine not having that closure. It's part of the like transitioning into that >> We had some some type of closure cuz we had a funeral Mhm. Yeah.

[00:00:15]>> for him. But we still had the fog because you can't believe that it happened so quickly.

[00:00:20]>> In this kind of a case where there's someone missing, that fog follows you around until there's closure. It's a It's a like a transition period into that new reality.

[00:00:30]Whatever it is. It's literally like you're walking around and everyone around you is just like there, but you're not really thinking who they are.

[00:00:37]>> I feel like you're just going through the motions.

[00:00:38]>> That That fog, oh my lord, that fog is so intense with a regular I don't want to say regular, but that's what it is because you have closure, like >> with like a like a typical the grieving process.

[00:00:49]>> where you know what happened.

[00:00:50]>> societal closure. Yeah, there is. Yeah.

[00:00:53]But like there's no In cases like this, there's like no moment where reality will like lock in.

[00:01:00]You know, like you walk around and you say, "I wonder if these people know what I'm going through." Yeah.

[00:01:03]>> And you wonder what everybody else is going through too now cuz you've had it happen to you.

[00:01:07]>> What?

[00:01:07]>> So, you you don't take that for granted.

[00:01:09]You got to realize that people have their lives and things are going on that aren't easy to handle. I'll never forget which I talked about this in our grief episode previously, but Mom, when me and you went to Target after Dad passed away, I wasn't like we were both in intense fogs cuz that's just what happens when you're like grieving, you know?

[00:01:29]But I'm just walking around Target and I felt like I was like this is so aimlessly walking. Yeah, you're aimlessly walking and wondering if you're just going through the motions of what you have to do.

[00:01:39]>> I just reme- like remember thinking nobody in this store right now has any clue that Dad just died.

[00:01:45]>> No, they don't.

[00:01:45]>> no clue.

[00:01:47]I'm just looking, you know? So, should we wear signs that we are going through grieving right now so don't judge us?

[00:01:51]Mom, I remember going through that and I had that same feeling that you know I just described when we were looking for the suit.

[00:01:57]>> the clothes he had to wear.

[00:01:58]>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had to buy the the last suit for him. And that was such a weird feeling.

[00:02:03]>> Yeah.

[00:02:04]Actually, I remember I don't know if I ever told you guys the story, but at Dad's funeral at his wake, one of our cousins was sitting behind us.

[00:02:11]And we were all in the front row, and I heard him say, "I can't even believe this is happening right now." And it really like hurt to hear him say that because it was just it was too much, you know?

[00:02:23]But like if you take that type of grief, which is if you want to call it normal grief, I feel like it would be amplified in cases like a kidnapping, you know?

[00:02:33]>> And and prolonged. Cuz you never have a chance to escape that fog. It's always with you.

[00:02:38]>> Yeah, cuz your [clears throat] imagination is running wild.

[00:02:40]>> What could have happened to her? Yeah, like what if she's still alive? Are they okay? Why wasn't I there? Where is she if she's not? Like what happened to her?

[00:02:47]What suffering did she go through? You know, those kind of questions are going to drive them Yeah. And how do you how do you live between those feelings of fearing what happened and and hope?