Jocko strips away the academic fluff to turn neurobiology into a tactical manual for self-mastery. It is a blunt, effective guide for anyone looking to outrun their own primal excuses.
Install our extension to search inside any video instantly.
Jocko Podcast 539: Elevate From The Gray Slop In Your Head.Added:
This is Joo podcast number 539 with Echo Charles and me, Joo Willink. Good evening, Echo.
>> Good evening.
>> So, Leonardo da Vinci.
>> He said, "There are three classes of people. Those who see, those who see when they are shown, those who do not see."
I want to talk to you about uh something that we brought up on the Underground Podcast. Uh I I coined uh I called it on the on the podcast gray slop.
>> Gray slop. gray matter like you know your brain is gray.
>> Mhm.
>> Uh gray slop.
This is has to do with detachment which is another thing. You know I've been talking about detachment for years.
Detach from the chaos. Detach from the mayhem. Detach from your ego. Detach from your emotions. That's going to make your life so much better if you can do that.
But lately, I've been looking around and I'm realizing how truly difficult that can be for people and at the same time seeing how important it is and how much it really fouls and jams people up. And when when you look at someone, you know, like you and I have talked about, you see someone that's uh drinking too much and it's kind of bringing down their life and you can see it so clear, but they don't they don't get it or they're involved in a relationship that's a disaster and you explain to them, but they're like, "No, no, no, no, like this time or I can save her or whatever whatever the thing is, right?
>> Those are all emotional decisions. Those are just being all your your your all in your own gray slop, your gray matter, your your your core. So, what is that?
You know, this gray matter actually has a the gray matter that I'm talking about is called the liyic system.
And we'll get into this some more later, but the the lyic system is kind of the part of your brain with the animal instincts, the the raw emotion. It's got the fear in there. It's got the rage in there. It's got the the fight orflight things. It's very fast. It's very impulsive. It's very irrational.
That's your lympic system. And then the other side, of course, you have the prefrontal cortex. This is the rational brain. This is the logic brain. This is what has this is what gives you impulse control. This is what allows you to execute long-term planning, which I know you like. Strategic thinking strategic is in your prefrontal cortex.
Moderating your behavior so you don't go nuts is in your prefrontal cortex.
And there's people have been talking about this for a long time. You know, this is nothing new. When I talk about detachment, I'm not the first person to come up with this, right? No, dude.
People have been talking about this.
Plato Plato had the chariot allegory and you had these two horses. One was the animal-minded, the other one was the spirit and the and the moral impulse and and the driver is reason that's supposed to guide those forces. Right? So, this is not this is nothing new.
uh Decart had the the machine versus the soul and the animal the animal is just instinct and humans have the ability to override those instincts. You're supposed to have that ability >> in more modern times like nowadays um Daniel Conaman he wrote a book called thinking fast and slow. He breaks it down to these two systems. You know system one is the fast, the automatic, the emotional, the intuitive and then system two is the slow deliberate the analytical one.
H Jonathan hate describes the elephant and the rider >> and his point in the elephant. The elephant's big and strong. Kind of like if your emotions are big and strong, they can override the rider. It's just going to do what it wants. So that's a good good analogy. We can take something away from that.
>> Uh Steve Peters, he wrote a book in 2012 called The Chimp Paradox.
And then he wrote a children's book called My Hidden Chimp. And then he wrote a guide book to go along with that in 2018. And he wrote a book called The Path Through the Jungle. And he runs a consultancy which is called chimp management.
>> Cuz your inner chimp, what he calls the inner chimp, that's the thing that's going on emotion and going on animal instincts.
And the frontal cortex is the human thing. So you got to manage that chimp in your head.
So again, these are a bunch of these are centuries worth of people that have talked about this and written about it and clearly people understand it and they've been putting the word out forever and yet it's very very difficult for people to implement it. this detachment and I don't think people how one one thing I don't think people realize is how much influence that animal brain that gray slop that's in your head how much it really influences your logic and your rationality I don't think people see that it's not actually each of these examples they talk about it as two separate things >> but there's all kinds of little wires going between the two >> and I don't sometimes don't think people recognize how much they feel like they're being logical, but they're not. They feel like they're using their >> their human elevated enlightened brain, but they're not. They're using the chimp brain.
So, we do things and we think we kind of think that the animal instinct is kind of good because, you know, if you get something happens, you're afraid, you can you get extra strength. You were just talking about before we hit record.
You know, you see fighters that they're they're exhausted, but then they knock the guy out and all of a sudden they have all this energy >> for the celebration.
>> Yeah. Energy for the celebration.
There's like a regulatory component that's going on and then it overcomes it. But we get extra power when we need it sometimes.
>> Uh and it seems like it's helpful, but there's just so much more going on inside that gray slop. And I just don't think people recognize that a lot of times they think they're out of the gray slop, but it's really like their neck deep >> and it's still interfering with their nose. It's kind of getting little sprinkles into their eyes and it's it's just bad >> and it's it's real, man. And and this again, this is not me saying my theory.
This is like factual information.
The amygdala which is part of the lyic system it it wants us to categorize people as us or them.
>> Right? That's part of our nature.
That means prejudice. That means irrational polarization. That's why we get into clicks, >> right?
>> Yeah.
>> Uh social status.
social status posturing, right? You you might think that's like, "Oh, well, he's got a big ego because he's insecure."
But actually, as an animal, higher status positioning means you get more food. It means you get better mating rights than the other animals. So, you're actually genetically programmed to kind of posture up and act tough and show off.
>> That's an animal instinct that you have.
And by the way, how does it make you look? It makes you look arrogant. It makes you look stupid, right?
There's all kinds of things that translate this animal behavior that translates into our what we think is oftentimes elevated behavior. This is stuff we talk about all the time at National Front. The feeling like I need to be right.
>> Mhm. Because if I'm right, I have more status. If I have more status, I have better, you know, position in the hierarchy. The urge to show off. The pain of the pain of social rejection is you feel that there's that's like a similar it's processed almost the same way as physical pain.
>> Yeah.
>> It's why people are so scared of it.
Hypervigilance, negativity bias. Like we focus on bad news. You're genetically programmed as an animal to focus on bad news because good news won't kill you, right?
>> That's why we get hyper focus fixated on it.
the uh resource hoarding means I need more.
>> Why? Well, that's a it's a human instinct. That's why people do impulsive shopping. That's why people binge eat.
That's why there's actual hoarders in the world that hoard things. Their whole house is filled with stuff that they will never ever ever need.
>> Here's one displacement aggression. So, when an animal gets stressed by a more dominant animal and it can't fight back because it knows it's going to lose, >> it turns and attacks weaker animals.
>> Does that sound like something humans might do? Hell yeah it is.
>> So, all these things play into it. And of course, we got the one that we hear about all the time, which is again pure animal instinct. It's instant gratification from the dopamine loop.
Dopamine wants reward right now. It doesn't care about 5 days from now.
doesn't care about 5 years from now. It doesn't even care about 5 hours from now. It wants dopamine right now. So, that's why you're doom scrolling. That's why you're eating junk food. That's why you're making all these short-term decisions that are bad. It's genetically programmed into you. It used to keep you alive cuz you were like, I'm just going to keep looking for these berries until I find them so I get food or I'm just going to keep going after this animal until I get it so I have food. I'm going to keep chasing down this cave woman so I can procreate. Like the all those things.
And yet they made it into our world right now.
And and the people, this is what I think is interesting is I think people have varying levels of escaping their gray slop. And most important, it's difficult to see. Most of the people when you're just swimming in your own gray slop animal instincts, you don't see it. You don't It doesn't feel different. You don't know it.
you. It's not like the temperature drops and you go, "Oh, wait a second. It just got cold in here." No, you're just like everything looks the same except for you're really emotional now and you don't say, "Oh, I see what's going on.
This is my I mean, this is the problem people have is they start getting emotional. They'll go, "Oh, this is an animal instinct of mine taking over and I shouldn't allow that to happen." M >> so and and people have varying levels of being able to escape their gray slop that's given them all these animal instincts.
And by the way, when you're when you're little, you're just in it. You know what I mean? That's why little kids lose their temper. That's why they get nuts.
That's why they even a baby, what does it do when it's hungry? Screams.
or that's what they do. Now, as we get older, hopefully we don't scream as much. But when you're, you know, when a when a little kid gets bullied, how do they react to it, right? When a little kid is afraid, how do they react?
Sometimes they cry, they freeze up. But then as you get older, hopefully you control those emotions. When you get dumped in in 10th grade, I can't believe I got dumped, you know, and you crying in the school or whatever.
Yeah, sure.
>> When you get dumped when you're 24, you're like, "Okay, hey, it didn't work out." You're a little bit more mature.
You have a little bit more control, but at least you hope.
>> But let's face it, there's a chance. By the way, there's a reason that people get murdered after they get after they dump someone, >> right? Because people just succumb to just gray slop and it's the end of the world and it's total emotion and it's ego and it's chaos and they go and kill people.
So, we're supposed to grow out of it, but it takes time. This is why this is why a a young male driver has a really high insurance >> because this this dude is just I mean, he's an animal, right?
>> Yeah.
>> He's just how fast can I go? How, you know, I'm going to take risks. I'm going to make things happen. I think I can survive. I'm going to push the envelope.
Hopefully over time you you get more and more elevated out of this gray slop and you get a little bit dis you know a little bit of distance from it but it still drives so much in people. And by the way this is like one of those things where if you think if you think you're not insane that's the person that's insane right?
the person that's like, "I'm not crazy."
You know, like, "No, no, that's the person you have to watch out for." This is the catch 22. The book catch 22.
>> If you were, if you were sane enough to say, "Hey, I don't want to fly on these raids," then, well, it doesn't make sense.
>> So, so when we're crazy, we don't know that we're crazy. And when we're caught in the gray slop, we don't know that we're caught in the gray slop. And so think about all the things that are in your head that drive decision-making process, right? Fear and anxiety. What does that make us do? It makes us freeze up. It makes us play it safe. What about anger?
Anger drives us to the shortsighted win.
You're right. Like I'm right.
>> Oh, that's great. That's a good way to win a win argument with your wife to show her and prove it. That's all it is.
Greed. Greed's the other end of the spectrum. Now you're just ignoring obvious risk.
Or you got excessive optimism.
These are monkey minds right here.
Sadness. When we're really sad, when someone's really sad, they lower the bar. They settle for less. Oh, this is as good as I can get.
Just an emotion.
Need for validation. This is a this is an animal instinct. And now you're doing things just for approval, making decisions so that you can get approval.
Uh fear of rejection. What happens if you're fear of rejection, which is an animal instinct to have? Well, you don't step up. You don't take you don't you keep quiet.
Um you know, I have to be right. I'm better than them. I'm you know, this is an attack. There's so many mistakes that we make.
I'll start tomorrow.
Right? Even even conformity, the herd instinct, these are all things that that will make us make bad decisions. I mean, how many teenagers have made bad decisions because of they're trying to conform with whatever everyone else is doing.
This is peer pressure.
There's a thing called halt. H A L T.
Hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. These things all disrupt your decision-making pro process.
We even have a a combined name, hangry.
Right. When I'm hangry, people are like, "Mad, just get out of my way.
>> I need to get into the freaking KFC line ASAP.
Get that Domino's pizza right now."
That's hangry. But people make dumb decisions when they're lonely. People make dumb decisions when they're tired.
Um, so many of these decisions that bad decisions that we make, they're just rooted in this gray slop in this liyic system in this chimp brain.
And generally speaking, like I said, they're not good decisions. So, here's something that I think a lot of people don't recognize. If you can elevate above it, right? If you can get out of the gray slop, if you can get out of your own lyic system, not only will you then be able to see the errors that you could make that are being driven by your animal instincts, but a a huge bonus is that I can see now Ekko's chimp brain in action.
So, in other words, if I'm walking down the street and I see Echo Charles and he mouths off to me like, "Get out of my way." or something like that, my if I'm in the gray slop, what am I going to do?
Who the hell are you telling me to get out of your way? Maybe I push him. Maybe I attack him. Maybe we escalate the situation.
But if I'm elevated, if I'm enlightened above my own gray slop and I'm walking down the street and Eko says, "Get out of my way." I see that it is his animal instinct that is causing this behavior and I say, "Oh, that guy must be having a rough day.
Probably not much gain to uh interact with him. I'm just going to like, you know, move a little bit to the right and I'll carry on."
So, when you when you're not caught up in your own animal brain, you can see when other people are.
But you want to you want to see problems, add alcohol, right? Which which unleashes our our our chimpanzeee brain.
>> Yep.
>> And now all of a sudden you you bump into me in the bar and that is a challenge and we're fighting.
>> But if I'm elevated and you bump into me in the bar and I go, "Oh, hey man, this guy must be having a rough day. Hey, sorry about that."
And I can deescalate.
Here's the thing. This doesn't only apply to like physical altercations.
We do so many dumb things based on our ego and our emotions and our and our chimpanzeee brain that have nothing to do with physical interactions at all.
And and that's because the m the mind recognizes things that are rooted in physical survival, but they're not actual physical survival in today's day and age. In other words, like, hey, if I'm I'm protecting myself, like I have to have some animal instincts, but if I'm just protecting my ego, why I don't need no animal instincts to do that. Mhm.
>> If I'm trying to show that I'm superior because I need to get more food for myself in a caveman situation. Okay, makes some sense. If I'm trying to show my superiority in a board meeting, you know what I'm saying? So I can so that I can prove my my position to the hierarchy. It doesn't make sense to do it there. And so we make stupid mistakes. And by the way, by the way, that those things when I try and prove a point in the board meeting and make Ekko look like he doesn't know what he's talking about, that doesn't help me. It doesn't help Echo. It's not not the right thing to do. So, the instinct is actually wrong when removed from this physical world.
This is why people talk down to other people. This is why people impose their plan on a group. Hey, do you you need to do it like this. This is why people try and get the credit because I'm trying to improve my status.
This is why people make little maneuvers to try and get the promotion because it's based on their hierarchical status and they want to they want to rise up.
This is why people escalate an argument instead of deescalating an argument.
That's why they do it. This is why people talk instead of listen.
It's all just monkey brain. It's all a bunch of emotion and ego and we have to get away from it. It is not easy. It is so intertwined. Again, the the metaphors that I raised, the elephant and the chariot and all these things. These are metaphors that make it seem like there's a really good clear bifurcation between these two elements, but in my opinion, they are much more intertwined. There's little there's little wires going all in between the two of them.
And I I found a a good article about this. Now, the article, it relates to it somewhat. what we're talking about. It's from a combat perspective, but again, this doesn't just apply to combat, but I want to read some sections from this article. The article is called Neuroscience for Combat Leaders, and it's written by a guy named uh Major Andrew Steedman.
And the little footnote about him, it says, "Major Andrew Steedman, US Army, is an infantry officer and a student at the command and general staff staff college, Fort Levvenworth, Kansas. holds a BS from the US Air Force Academy. He must have switched from the US Air Force Academy to the Army. His combat exper experience includes two deployments to Iraq and one to Afghanistan.
So, this article is called a brainbased approach to leading on the modern modern battlefield.
And I think you're going to see some examples of what I'm talking about.
And then we can extrapolate this combat situation to the the rest of our lives.
Of course, everything in combat is more pronounced. So, it should seem real obvious in combat when someone does gets caught up in their freaking animal brain. It causes real catastrophic situations, but makes us stand out. when we get caught up in our animal brain during an argument with our spouse doesn't lead to a catastrophic scenario hopefully most of the time but if you if that's how you live your life your life is not where it should be.
So here we go let's get to this article.
Everything you do in life is based on your brain's determination to minimize danger or maximize reward. The brain wants to move towards things in life that give it pleasure or ensure survival and away from things that cause it pain or threaten survival. Combat demands that military individuals overcome this natural impulse to survive and move toward the danger. From this perspective, succeeding in combat is a measure of how well the brain copes with dangerous situations and performs tasks that ensure survival.
The field of neuroscience has seen significant advances in recent years, and the benefits of this knowledge can positively affect numerous disciplines, including combat leadership. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging, MRI, surgical methods, and experiment-based approaches, researchers have revealed many of the biological processes that underly our most basic emotional and cognitive behaviors, such as how and why we react to threatening situations.
how our brains allocate energy to cope with competing demands and how our senses interact with our minds to create the world we know. So again, threatening situations. What's a threatening situation? Look, when we're reading an article that's written by an infantry officer, you think threatening situation is gunfight, IED threat, mortars inbound. But a threatening situation for a normal person is like, "Oh, this guy's maneuvering and trying to get credit for the project that I led."
>> That's a threatening situation, right? That's a threatening situation.
And this is what triggers our limbic brain to kick into gear.
Back to the article. Learning about brain function and physical reactions to stress does not simply inform the leader, but create self-awareness that makes him better able to control these processes. Tactical level military leaders can use new knowledge to understand the effects of combat, anticipate and recognize cognitive reactions, and adjust their leadership abilities to succeed in difficult situations. They can do this by performing exercises to decrease physiological stress reactions, using emotionally controlled leadership to guide their organizations, and creating an environment to during battle that facilitates effective decision-m. So, we're going to force our brain out of the animal mode and into the logical mode when we're in stressful situations.
That's what a combat leader is going to have to do. By educating soldiers about brain function and incorporating cognitive stressors into training, leaders can prepare their units to perform battle with emotional stability.
But it is not just combat.
If you can do this when you're having a conversation with your boss, when your kid is getting mad at you, when your kid does something stupid, which they're going to do because they're a kid, you you can react like an animal and do bad things, do things, do things that are going to have a negative impact on the situation. Or you can control your brain. You can get out of your own gray slop.
Basics of the brain. Combat leaders need a basic knowledge of cerebral biology to understand the importance of the mind's function during combat. The two major areas most relevant to this topic are the lyic system and the prefrontal cortex.
The former is the collection of brain regions involved in emotions, learning and memory. The latter is for higher level thinking. That's a prefrontal cortex actively influences body functions and performance. Inputs travel along pathways in both these systems and allow us to react to scenarios with a balance of emotion and reason. And that's what they're supposed to do. Why does our emotion so often take lead so often? It's ridiculous. It's embarrassing for us as humans to let our animal instincts run the show.
Located in the center of the brain, the lyic system primarily contains the phalamus, hypothalamus, hippoph hippocampus, and the amydala and is the creator of emotions and memory. Its primary function is to interpret information sent from the body senses to the to issue emotional commands back to the body. The lyic system also sends its data to the executive areas of the brain, the frontal lobe for cognitive processing and receives instructions about how the body should respond to the given situations. Sometimes the lyic system can independently respond to the world like when we react to threatening situations. This occurs on a subconscious level when the amygdala, the fear and anxiety response center, compares data from the world with the hippocampus, which is the memory database of experience. The in if the incoming information corresponds to a threat that has been tagged as negative or dangerous, the amydala immediately commands the body into action. We've all experienced this process when our reflexes have caused us to snatch a hand away from closing door, leap away from a snake.
So there's some times where it's going to do something and if you don't have control over it that those times are going to grow, those times are going to be bigger than they should be, right? You know, the classic thing that I tell people is if if if I said, "Hey, Ekko, I'm going to be at your house >> when you come home and I'm going to scare you." There's probably 0% chance I'd be able to actually scare you. What if I just got in there and I tried to scare you? There's probably a really solid percentage that I would scare you.
So that's having the the cognitive pattern where you can get control of that quickly is very important.
Back to the document. The more sophisticated process of the minds occur in a sheet of tissue just behind the forehead known as the prefrontal cortex.
Um, this is memory, judgment, planning, sequence of activity, abstract reasoning, impulse control, personality, reactivity, surroundings, and mood.
That's a pretty big important block.
Isn't it crazy that just gets overrun all the time? Like every time you see someone get road rage, they've lost their mind.
>> Yeah. I actually That's funny. You hear me say this when I when I talk about someone losing their mind.
>> And I've never thought about this until right now.
>> It's when they've lost control of their prefrontal cortex. That's like and and I say that a lot. You know, I'll be like, "Oh, this dude just lost his vibe."
>> But the funny thing is I say it when I'm talking about people that are doing something super emotional, their ego is out of control. Like someone does something like, "Oh, the dude, he lost his mind. You've heard me say this. I do this."
>> But that's what I'm talking about.
They've lost their mind. They've they've they've shut down their prefrontal cortex and they're just full chimp mode just going.
This is the area that this area this area is what allows humans to solve math problems, develop abstract concepts, and ponder our own existence. Is also the area that military leaders use to balance risk in combat, develop courses of action, and create strategies to lead effectively.
So there you go. That's what it's doing.
And it's got a little section in here about every part of the brain is packed with blood vessels. And it talks about how it actually the brain redirects blood and glucose to appropriate areas based on what's happening.
This allocation leaves less fuel for other brain functions like cognitive control, which requires vast amounts of blood and glucose to operate. When the lympic system is heavily engaged, as it is during high threat stress of combat, it will quite literally steal fuel from the preffrontal cortex. thus handicapping a a leader's ability to combat the situation with cognition.
So, think about that right there. You're losing your mind. You're losing your mind.
>> And this is something that um you know, you can train to. It's we we used to call it stress inoculation. If you get put in stressful situations, often you eventually get used to them and now it's not going to need to steal so much fuel, so much glucose and oxygen for your for your frontal cortex cuz you're not freaking out.
>> That uh that does explain panicking.
>> Oh, for sure.
>> More like where it's >> it steals blood and nutrients from your prefrontal cortex and gives it to other parts of your body. By by the way, it gives it the part of the brain that's freaking out.
>> Yeah. So, basically, your prefrontal the your decision- making goes down.
>> Mhm.
>> The rest of your the other part of your brain, the the panic mode, that part, >> the emotions >> is lit up and then it >> feeds the rest of your body that it need. You know how like uh like when you physically, you know, you're running away from a dog chasing you or something like this >> where you go, you'll spring right into action. Yep.
>> But if there was no dog chases, you'd be like, "Bro, I'm not running nowhere."
See what I'm saying? But all of a sudden, you have this energy out of nowhere. Spontaneous energy.
>> Now, that explains it.
>> Yeah.
>> It also explains why people shut down.
It explains why people do dumb things in the moment. It explains It kind of explains crimes of passion, right? Like, I'm so emotional that my prefrontal cortex, which is long-term planning, is like, "Oh, if I do this, I'm going to go to jail. My life is ruined." No, that's all shut down and I'm just I'm gonna pay this person back.
>> Yeah. So, you ever heard of this and I always wondered if it's true? I can't help but believe that it is true where some people they'll do a crime of passion or whatever.
>> U and then they won't get convicted because they were temporarily insane or something like this >> where and then from what I understand like when they evaluate the person they literally don't remember.
>> I was about I was about to say like sometimes people don't even remember doing it. Yeah.
>> And there's times where people do things like in a combat situation and they don't remember >> like they don't remember that that happened.
>> They were just in full survival mode.
>> Yeah. So it doesn't even it doesn't go into the part like the brain that that has memory the hippocampus that creates the memory like kind of Brad. It just shunted all the the energy and nutrients to the other part of the body and it wasn't working for that moment.
>> See what I'm saying?
>> Dang.
>> Yeah. And by the way, you can see this a lot with your kids because your kids, you know, they're they're it doesn't take much to just shut down >> the the thought and just become a little animal.
>> Little uh back to the doc. As a successful business consultant and CEO David Rock explains in the book Your Brain Works, the degree of activation of the lyic system is the degree of deactivation of the prefrontal cortex. B brain research has shown that there are many more neural connections that flow from the amygdala directly to the prefrontal cortex than vice versa.
Therefore, it's easy for our emotions to guide or suppress our rational thoughts.
Hello everybody.
This is our problem.
This is cru this is a crucial fact because military leaders must preserve cognitive functions when leading in combat. And by the way, guess what?
Combat has all these things going on.
fear, anxiety, pressure, stress, not to mention physical stress. You're tired, not to mention you haven't slept in a day and a half or two days.
The lyic system in combat, the lyic system is evolutionarily older than the prefrontal cortex. Primitively old. In fact, it helped it developed to help man survive the ancient battlefield of predator versus prey. The lyic system has the chemical authority to initiate rapid responses to threats and is good at doing so. The amydala ignites.
Adrenaline flows to the blood. The pulse races. The eyes focus and rapidly scan for threatening movement. We halt unnecessary digestion and tense major muscle groups in preparation for a clash. The then the brain teameming with blood vessels redirects the available supply of oxygen and glucose-rich blood to the limbic and motor areas so that we can react quickly in the impending fight. At this point, the mind is in its most basic survival mode. It has no spare energy to devote to solving geometry problems or pondering philosophical dilemmas. This biological decision to focus resources toward limbic areas during dangerous situations is what keeps us alive at a time when the cerebral problem solving approach would be fatally slow. But today's military leaders do not face the same world that our ancestors did. And by the way, you don't face the same world that our ancestors did when you roll into a department meeting that's going to be tense.
And yeah, you'll roll in there and just shut down half of your prefrontal cortex.
Or you've got a decision to make on buying a car and you're all emotional excited about it and you just shut down your pre override your prefrontal cortex. Walking out of there with a $1,200 a month payment on a on a what is it? a 72month loan.
>> Hell yeah. But it's all relative though, right? You know how you're like, "Oh yeah, our ancestors, you know, and their environment is so extreme." But like there's an element of certain extreme levels of things that you kind of get used to. So it's like, you know, how you know Theo Vaughn has a >> has the joke, right? Like, oh, we all have our Vietnam, right? Or whatever where it's like it's relative to the person. So if you're not if you start to get used to stuff, then yeah, you're going to be less sensitive. But so if the environment is extreme, there's a general like you're used to it on a certain level.
>> Yeah. So you'll still have all these fight orflight stuff, you know, all this stuff, but it just takes a little bit more. Nowadays, it's not like that.
We're just more sensitive. See what I'm saying? So the board meeting kind of seems like a little bit of a final boss for battle.
>> That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Exactly.
>> Or not to mention when someone bumps into you on the >> in the Vans shopping line. You know what I'm saying?
>> Sure. Vans. Hell yeah.
>> And then maybe mouths off to you.
>> Yeah.
>> Now all of a sudden we got a situation.
>> Animal comes out.
>> Uh while there are still many threats that require rapid reflexive action, leaders also have to manage countless streams of information, communicate over multiple technological systems, balance political, military, and civilian considerations, and lead hundreds of men and women in the process. Combat requires a coherent, rational mind. And it ain't just combat that requires that.
Combat is full of stressful moments.
Initial contact with the enemy, rushing to secure an enemy terrain, or responding to an unexpected event that test emotional resolve. Those involved experience intense sensory input and encounter debilitating explosions, grotesque scenes, and threatening enemy movements. As the lyic system attempts attempts to keep pace with the environment, it starves the soldier's ability to maintain a clear mental framework. Coupled with the typically exhausting physical exertion of combat, soldiers are constantly or consistently at risk of degraded cognitive processing.
I got a quote in here from JFC Fuller.
He said, "In an attack, half of the men on a firing line are in terror. The other half are unnerved."
going into the leader in combat. Each duty position on the battlefield contains some balance of reflexive and cognitive tasks. Some can be trained repeatedly and developed into muscle memory like loading and firing a weapon.
Others are more cognitive in nature like calling for indirect fire, coordinating a synchronized attack. While each soldier has his own personal tactical situation to react to typical frontline riflemen operate in reflexive region while the cognitive component of the battle increases with the rank and responsibility.
In this article, the term leader refers to any individual is responsible for leading several groups of soldiers in maneuver against the enemy and ma must manage multiple battlefield systems.
This leader spends most of his time on the battlefield outside of his weapon sites. You've heard me talk about this 10,000 times. Highport your weapon. Look around. While the team and squad leaders are unquestionably leaders, they use battle drills and reflexive training to guide most of their actions and will not have to rely on their abstract cognitive abilities during combat unless they are operating as an autonomous element. The platoon leader and the platoon sergeant are the first leaders that engage in more complex problem solving than direct fire battle. The company level commander is squarely in the cognitive region with occasional moments that require reflexive action. The battalion level commander will rarely perform actions that are not based on premeditated cognition.
What the what can these leaders do to mitigate physical reactions to stress that will inevitably occur? What methods are available to regain cognitive control and place the leader in a position to maximally benefit the unit?
First, actively decrease the effects of stress. Second, infuse emotional stability into the organization.
Finally, create an environment of that facilitates effective decision-m. So, he's going into this um the things that you can do, right? And there's three of them.
Control the effect of emotional energy.
As combat will readily reveal, the body and mind undergo rapid changes when reacting to stress. While moderate levels of stress improve functions like motor skills, stress can easily impair performance in cognitive areas where today's tactical leaders typically need to operate. Heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing will all increase.
Digestion will slow and nausea may occur. Speech may falter, and auditory and visual cues may diminish. All of these effects are natural as the body emotionally reacts to the fight.
However, leaders have a responsibility to control the effect of emotional energy and remain calm in the face of danger.
One proven combat used by law enforcement and military professionals is tactical breathing as one of only two automatic nervous systems actions that we can control. The other is blinking.
Breath rate is the first reaction to stress that leaders can re in. So you can actually go send it in the other direction. This is why people say take a deep breath right >> immediately after significant stressor occurs or just prior to entering a high stress environment. Simply take several successive deep breaths and hold each one for 3 to 5 seconds. As you breathe, visualize your body relaxing and remaining calm during the event.
Although time may not allow leaders to take a long tactical pause, simply diagnosing a rapid breathing pattern and forcing a couple of slow breaths will help decrease the body's agitated state.
And again, this is something that I didn't learn, but I stumbled upon because when I would talk on the radio, I didn't want to sound like a panicked freak.
So, I would take a breath. And when I took a breath, guess what? Calm down.
Another method of controlling stress is a concept called labeling and reappraisal which is the act of naming the emotional state you are experiencing and actively reassigning a new emotion that is more productive for the situation. Verbally identifying the emotions or reassuring yourself that loud activates the prefrontal cortex and begins to reclaim some of the power from the lic system.
Simple Q words like steady, stay focused, and relax are active reminders that can elicit a controlled behavior. And this is something I've been teaching lately. Uh we have something called a diddy.
>> Yeah.
>> And we used to use the diddy for like pistol work, right? You'd have a little thing that you would say to make sure you hit all these points of performance.
>> Yeah. you know, fast to the holster, thumb on the index, uh, turn point, you know, uh, slack off the trigger, easy squeeze, front sight, focus, and you do that every single time. You'd say that diddy to you.
>> Was that that was that yours or everybody?
>> No, that's different ones. I just made it up right now.
>> Um, and it probably wasn't a great one, but >> no, man. Sounded good.
>> But, you know, lately I've been saying, hey, if you start feeling like excited, say to yourself a little diddy, calm, cool, and relaxed, calm, cool, and collected, whatever, something like that. you say, you know, slow, smooth, smooth is fast. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Calm down. Calm down. Like, whatever. Say something to yourself is is a good way to get yourself to calm down.
>> Um, a unit's motto can be another steadying phrase. Repeating these words can trigger confidence and strength in the face of trying trying circumstances.
More important, such statements not only have effect on leaders but also filter through an organization to reinforce its members. The key is to talk to oneself into a mental framework that is capable of handling the highly cognitive experience of modern combat.
Any military leader will readily support the practice of unit rehearsals before the operations. Of course, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Do individuals not also have the responsibility to rehearse how they will react in combat?
Professional golfers, divers, and other elites who rely on precise skills use a techniques called visualization to reinforce desired behavior. Likewise, a tactical leader can benefit by visualizing himself performing with an emotional calm and cognitive clarity.
A leader with with clear vision of how he wants to perform will, as survival author Lawrence Gonzalez put it, create a kind of memory of the future. It's an interesting com uh concept >> that the brain can access during combat.
Like muscle memory, proper mental processes can become reflexive.
You got to rehearse, man. I recently relearned this lesson.
>> I was uh in a movie.
>> Hell yeah.
>> And in this particular movie, it it's kind of a long scene >> and I don't say I I don't say anything until the end of the scene. I have two lines. But here's the funny thing. So, you know, I'm I'm trying to be a professional, right?
>> You think I'm trying to be a professional? Sure. Yes. I'm trying to be professional. It's a big deal when you're when when you're in uh something like this Hollywood scenario because they have to do it a bunch of times >> and everyone's on the clock and everything's getting all set up and the lights and the cameras and all this stuff and like if you screw it up, >> bro, everyone kind of >> they don't like that >> and and no one says anything because they don't want to put more pressure on anybody, >> you know, because then people freak out, right? So, everyone just But it's like a it's the heaviest like unspoken like weight of like dang like I think I screwed up.
>> And it's funny when someone screws something up, you know, the director when I was on Billions the TV show.
>> Hell yeah.
>> There was three of us standing in this scene and we were doing it. We're doing the scene and like the the the director was downstairs. We were upstairs. He was downstairs like all the cameras were upstairs but he was watching it from downstairs.
>> Oh yeah.
and like somebody wasn't doing something the what the way the director kind of wanted it >> and he like he goes okay uh you know whatever cut >> and then there's like a pause while the director walks up the stairs >> and then he like says something to one of the actors like hey you know maybe just you know a little bit more like like gives him a little direction he's a director gives him direction >> and then you know okay cool and then he walks back downstairs and do it again and then he's like do a couple cut and now the director's coming again and you know he's not and each time I was like I hope he's not coming to talk to me cuz everyone is watching and everyone's going this actor freaking not nailing it >> so you feel kind of bad. So >> yeah, >> I'm filming this thing and and I'm I'm just I have one two two sentences one line, right? Two sentences >> tell you.
>> And I haven't said them yet. We we recording for like an hour.
>> Yeah.
>> It's all the other individual talking, just delivering these lines, delivering, doing great job, just all great and everything.
>> Yeah.
>> And then they have to stop and reset all the cameras for a different angle cuz now it's it's it's Jaco's turn, right?
>> And believe me, bro, I'm a professional.
And guess what I did? I memorized those lines in my head. I went through them in my head. I was like, boom, boom, boom. I went through them in my head like hundreds of times, right? Going to be ready, bro. I'm a pro. Don't want to I don't from filming Warrior Kid. I didn't I know what it's like when someone, you know, when when you mess something up.
>> Yeah.
>> And and Mick G's got to roll in and say, "Hey, okay, let's do Well, okay, we'll do it again." You know, everyone feels it.
>> The cameraman's lugging that thing around and he's kind of like, "Bro, what is wrong with you? You had one job."
>> Yep.
>> It's real. So anyways, this is now three, four hours into this >> and it's finally the now we go the other angle and finally it's now my turn to deliver my line.
>> Hell yeah.
>> And the and the first time I say it, I had not even though I memorized it, I hadn't spoken it.
>> I hadn't actually said the words and they were kind of like a little bit awkward.
>> And I said it, bro. But I I got I got it done. I powered through it.
>> But I was like, but it wasn't smooth.
>> It wasn't the performance that you you hoped for.
>> It wasn't the performance that I don't think anyone was hoping for, right?
>> But I got it done.
>> Okay.
>> But I was like, oh, you didn't say the words. You didn't actually let the words come out of your mouth.
>> Yeah.
>> And that's a bad move.
>> So it's like when you partially rehearse something >> and that's why what's interesting here is like you might have the idea of like, oh, I'm gonna if we get to hear, I'm going to give this command.
>> Yeah. But if you've never actually said it, bro, right, >> it might jam you up a little bit. And I got jammed up. Now, look, like I said, I I I just had to go into teen guy mode and just get them words out cuz I didn't want to have to just throw away the take, right?
>> So, I got the words out.
>> Super awkward. I think they were like thinking maybe, oh, maybe, you know, maybe Jo was trying to >> put a little stank on it, >> but I but I was like, yo, I wasn't trying to put anything. I was just trying to get the words out of my mouth.
>> But I learned that lesson, bro. You got to you got to actually say the words.
You can't just practice them in your head.
>> Yeah.
>> Cuz that's another thing. I was alone.
Like there was no one to practice the lines with.
>> Yeah. And Yeah. What do you do in the mirror or some something?
>> No. I just like was literally looking at it and just going over it like with like sitting in a chair just thinking the words. Just think.
>> How long did you have to like from the moment you got the the the what the lines the script to the moment of perform? How many days? How long did you have to prepare? I probably had weeks to prepare, but I only prepared for one day.
>> I understand.
>> I didn't need it. I mean, it's literally two sentences. It didn't take me long to memorize it, >> but I didn't say them, >> bro. I think even you preparing jammed you up. And this is why. So, I have >> You know how like you ever been in a situation where you're like, >> I'm going to let you continue. You're wrong, but I'm going to let you continue. Yep. Go.
>> Okay. Because I believe I'm right right now, but I'd be interested to see if I'm wrong. So, you ever I don't know. you don't seem like the type that would have this problem. But I've run into a situation where I'm like, shoot, I got to bring this up. It's not even a big deal, but I just I feel like it's the right thing to bring it up and like sort it out, right, to whoever, whether it be to your friend or your wife or whoever, right? I got to bring this up. And then I'm like, "All right, well, I don't want to bring it up in a way that makes it seem like it's a big deal than it really is." You ever heard me say, and I I know this, I say this all the time. It's like I consciously say that. I say even me bringing it up is making it seem like a bigger deal than it really is. I always say that if it's like a small >> something like that before.
>> So that's >> and then you make a big deal out of it.
>> Yeah, I know cuz I go deeper. But only because in the spirit of understanding, you know, but then I got to be like, hey, but the more I explain the bigger deal it seems. So now I got to explain how it's not a bigger and it becomes a whole thing. You see what I'm saying? So here, so that and that's part of my point where if I'm like, okay, I already made the decision to bring this XYZ thing up, right? I already made that decision. So, how do I deliver it in a way that makes it not a big deal? I said, well, but there and there is a way to do that, right? But if you're going to deliver something in a specific specific way, it has to be natural otherwise it looks contrived and then now you bring uh you introduce another element of the whole conversation. Are you even are you being authentic? Are you and it becomes this big deal, right?
Which isn't a big deal. So, you jam up your whole process. Okay, I said you were going to be wrong, but I think you're actually right in many cases.
>> So, just to finish what I what I jam myself up be in from time to time is I'll be like, "Okay, let me just practice in my mind how I want it to sound and I'll go over it and over it and but that whole process of me going over it in my mind makes it a big deal >> to me, but also >> in your mind."
>> Yeah. Maybe if you would have rehearsed out loud saying the words, there's one more element that comes into play. I feel like that is true.
>> But um yeah, so besides that part of it, the the point is if you don't actually go through it, cuz that's what being natural is when you're actually natural doing something, you're re you're really used to doing it, so it's just natural.
But if it's your first time ever doing it, no matter how simple or complex, you know, it is your first time actually doing it ever and you've been thinking about it, right? It's impossible to be natural.
>> Well, this is kind of a the similar thing when we record stuff at Echelon Front.
>> Yeah.
>> And like someone will be one of the instructors will be like, "Oh, hey, you know, talk about cover and move." And they'll be like, "Oh, you want me just to say blah blah blah." And they rattle it off and you go, "Yeah, that's perfect."
>> And then the red record light comes on.
Boom. It's game over. Freaking disaster.com.
>> Bro, this is stuff that they've explained thousands of times. They know In-N-Out better than anybody. and boom, you hit that, they see that red light, brain lock, bro. Brain lock all day.
>> So, I think that has something to do with it.
>> I also think that if you really I think that you you reach a point in memorization where it does become it will sound natural because you've memorized it and it's now it's coming out of your brain just like it was uh uh >> what is it thought, you know? It's like, oh, I just thought of this. So, I think if you partially memorize something, >> it it's probably going to jam you up, but if you memorize it to the core, it's probably going to be beneficial. I'm not saying that you won't be a bad actor.
I'm not saying you won't be like >> saying the line, >> uh, uh, any military leader will readily support the practice of unit rehearsals before an operation. Like, you might say it like a dork.
>> Yes. or like in a very unnatural way and not know.
>> There's a like there's a reason that actors there's a reason that some actors are good actors. Yeah.
>> Cuz they could do it and it's convincing, right?
>> This is my little theory on >> everybody thinks they could be a good actor, but it is is more tricky than a lot of people think.
>> So that and I I feel like at the end of the day it comes it kind of goes along with what I'm saying. So like think about um the this idea of of doing the thing, right? So >> snowboarding for example, I watch all these tutorials. Okay, you leave put you before I went, you know, and that one's obvious because it takes a lot of physical balance that you can't just learn on a video. You got to actually do it. It's just the nature. So >> that's like an extreme example.
>> Um but just this idea of doing the thing XYZ. So your thing that you had to do was say the lines and how you did it was kind of up to you, right? But you had to do the thing, right? And in this case, doing the thing is is saying lines.
That's the doing.
>> I didn't do it.
>> You never did it. So, you can't make it look natural. And you can't make it look authentic. You can't make it look however you're quote unquote trying to make it look because it has to it can't be contrived. That's it. Cuz technically, I'm sure like these lines you there's probably a handful of ways you could have easily said them and they would have been right on a bunch of different ways as long as it came out natural, right? That's really what good quotequote good acting is. But what's interesting is because of the role that I was playing, it wasn't actually me.
>> You know what I mean?
>> Show your range.
>> I've done plenty of things where I'm just straight up just being Jo or some other named of a guy named Jaco who's just Jaco with a different name.
>> Way easier, right?
>> Cuz you've done that many many times.
>> But I'll tell you what, Pratt said that.
Well, he's like, "No, that's shit's hard." Like >> Yeah. And he was like, "Dude, you you you're I think people they they they start to act the way they think they are in their own head."
>> So, okay. That jams him up, you know.
>> Yeah. Big time. Okay. So, Sam Harris talked about this long time ago where it's like, okay, you use a certain part of your brain like, you know, the your habitual I don't know, whatever, you know, you know, all the parts of the brain here, but there's there's like this part of your brain that that does the habitual stuff, walking, talking, you know, whatever. Just habitual stuff.
you don't have to like okay let me take my this step or that okay so that and then there's the other part which can still make you do the same action but it'll be way more clunky so like you ever this is where I really notice it okay I walked up and down the stairs in my house a million trillion times but if I'm carrying like a big TV or something I'm like bro I can literally walk up and down these stairs with my eyes closed but I'm now I'm like bro if I take one wrong step I'm dead so now my this other part of my brain is engaged trying to manage it trying to micromanage your movement it gets all jammed Exactly right. And it makes it worse. Like you're I'm literally worse at walking downstairs now that this other part of my brain is all engaged. That's what happened when the red light comes on when they're videotaping the Echelon front. Who you know who if you're jamming up your lines, that's what happens when they're saying action, you know, like all this stuff. Even if you're quote unquote just being another version of Jaco, which you've been for however many years, you know, now this other part of your brain is trying to be Jaco. That's not the part of the brain that's used to being Jaco. You see what I'm saying? So a good actor, this is what it seems like anyway. And I've heard people say this where if you can just they say it's not even acting you just be you. So it's it's essentially you got to like like my boys disengage.
>> He's getting deep, bro.
>> You got to disengage that.
>> Okay. All right. I see how it is. We going there, huh?
>> Yes. I've heard. In fact, okay. You know who David Fincher is, right? He does like he did like seven fight club. Like he's a director, right? So he's known for doing like an ungodly amount of takes.
>> And in his philosophy is like we make people he makes people do the lines on set in the moment cameras running so many times that after a while it's just like all right bro I'll do whatever you know the lines coming out the physical doing of the lines is just that's natural already >> because you did it that's kind of what I said if you memorize it to a point and you've done it over and over and over again now it just it's part you're not thinking about it. you stop thinking about it and just start doing it.
>> Exactly. Right. No, but in show business or whatever, how often do you get the opportunity to do it in the actual moment over and over and over and over again with everybody watching with the camera guy?
>> I heard like Clint Eastwood will be like, "All right, like first take he's like, "All right, that was good." And they'll be like, "Hey, can we did we no that >> you you did fine. Like we're moving on."
>> Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there's so many different philosophies as far as approaching that goes. But it to me it made sense and it it has a lot to do with in I think anyway of what you ran into cuz you literally had zero reps doing >> I had a million mind reps.
>> Yeah.
>> But not one single >> actual rep >> and I got jammed up in that moment >> and like pushed just just teguided out.
>> It's it's like literally like me watching a snowboarding tutorial a million times. never been on the slopes a million times and I'm like, I know exactly what to do. I know when to do it. I know, bro. I got this down. I go on there and of course I'm going to fall down a little bit. See what I'm saying?
I might have some good technique in principle, >> but it's a little bit There's that that experience part that nuance experience that needs to be there. Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> So, what So, they did they call you back or >> No, no, no. We did. I mean, the next one I was good to go and then it was just, hey, you know, what do you want to what what stank do you want on it?
>> You know what I'm saying?
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Did you were you um were you like kind of surprised? Were you like, "Dang, I I [ __ ] I suck more than I thought I would."
>> No, I was I knew exactly what happened.
I was like, "Oh, you didn't move your lips and get the words out." You just thought you could do it cuz you do it all the time. And now you try to do it and it and it took let's say it let's say if the line was uh any military leader will readily support practice of unit rehearsals before an operation.
It'd be like this like my time to send the line is now.
Any military leader will readily support the practice of unit rehearsals before an operation. It was like just clunky.
>> Yeah, I understand.
>> It wasn't like a throwaway. I didn't lock up where they're like, "Okay, hey, did you, you know, like cuz you don't want to be that guy, dude."
>> You know what I'm saying? You don't want to be that guy that just doesn't know what you're supposed to do. You didn't prepare, bro. It's unprofessional, right?
>> It's trying to be professional offense.
So, it wasn't a total drop of the ball.
>> Yeah.
>> But like I kind of fumbled it for a second, grabbed it and like, you know, to went down immediately. I still caught it, but it didn't look great, >> you know?
So that's why we rehearse is what I'm saying.
>> The role play comes to mind like you know how you guys like hey do a role play or whatever just how beneficial that is.
>> So beneficial and what they're saying is rehearse mentally. Hey if stuff starts getting stressful. Oh I'm in a high port. I'm going to relax. I'm going to take a breath. I'm going to look around like that right there. Say that out loud and then relax. Look around. Make a call. Relax. Look. This is what I wrote on Seth Stone's window of his Humvee in 2005 >> in the desert. Relax, look around, make a call, follow these instructions, dude.
Okay, got it. Back to the dock. Infuse emotional stability and control into the organization. Leaders must discover ways to control their application of emotional energy. Their behavior is a compass for the unit, an indicator of what stress is allowable and appropriate for the situation. Okay, so they're looking at you as the leader. The first actions after a significant event like an attack with an improvised explosive device device set the unit's tone for the engagement. As a as General George S. Patton council's leaders are always on parade.
An uncontrolled yell, a high-pitched radio call, or even a worrisome look can transmit stress and doubt to the unit.
Conversely, leaders with composure and confidence despite stressful circumstances will infuse those traits into the unit. Commanders should be deliberate and concise. Leaders should objectively verify emerging information to avoid overreacting or acting too hastily.
Again, these are great. You know, this is stuff I've been saying for years and it's just a great uh angle on it.
>> Do you mind repeating that part where he said leaders are somebody's always on parade? George S. Patton said, "Leaders are always on parade." It's a great one.
>> So, kind of like everyone's always kind of watching you to you for the whole deal.
>> And if you freak out, everyone's going to freak out.
>> Yeah. Yeah. You're right. How bad that one kind of goes deep cuz like you know how like I think it might have been you.
I don't know. It doesn't matter who but it was like Yeah. Once you kind of let your uniform slack >> or certain things slack just for your own personal self, people will like start to be like, "Oh, I guess we can kind of do that." You know?
>> That's true. But this is an even more acute moment, which is if you see me panicking.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> You're gonna panic. If you see me acting calm, you're like, "Oh, okay. We're calm." Right?
>> That's the way it is. By the way, this works with your family, too. When your kid falls down and scrapes his knee, >> if you go, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?"
The kid's not going to be okay. But if you go, "Dude, that was awesome. Try it again." The kid's going to be fine.
>> Yeah.
>> So, always on parade.
>> Yeah. Always on parade. Neuroscience research reveals that there are methods leaders can use to do this. Noted author Malcolm Gladwell describes deliberate emotion in blink. We take it as a given that we experience that that first we experience an emotion and then we may or may not express that emotion in our face. We think of the face as the residue of the emotion. The process works in the opposite direction as well.
So you can force your emotions through your facial expression. Emotion can also start in the face. An equal partner, it is an equal partner in the emotional process. A German psychology experiment revealed that people who were physically made to smile by holding a pen clenched in their teeth rated cartoons as funnier than people who watched the same cartoons while holding the pen in their lips, which prevented smiling. Facial expressions are not just a representation of emotions. They can direct emotions. Leaders can physically incite a more positive relaxed emotional response in their bodies by intentionally forming a relaxed facial expression during combat events. This demeanor will also cue similar responses in the soldiers around them.
There you go. Like you have to you have to impose your emotions on yourself.
Mhm.
>> That blinking thing is >> Well, this is freaking for 10 years, you and I have been talking a little something called normal face.
>> Yeah.
>> You know, I used to play this game with my own children.
>> Mhm.
>> To get them to not give away their emotions in stressful situations.
If you make a face, if you break, you get smacked in the head with the cardboard roller from inside the uh Christmas wrapping paper.
>> Yeah. Hell yeah.
>> And it'd be funny. You know, the kids would be trying not to laugh, >> but that translates to everything that you're doing because man, if you give away your emotions, you your boss sees that you're mad, your team sees that you're frustrated, bro, it's going to spread. It's going to cause problems.
Normal face all day. But there, you know, I noticed this in back to acting for a little bit. Like if you watch if you watch certain movies if the actor let's say is not as experienced and they're trying to deliver some like deep like dope like freaking line >> and then but then they're blinking a little bit too much. It's like it doesn't land as much versus like you know how these real intense actors like you know Daniel D like Tom Cruz or something like this and they're like going hard on some like monologue to somebody bro they don't blink at all and it Brad lands super hard freaking dope.
Or or on the other side, if they want to imply like stress or worry, they they won't put stress and worry all over their theatrics. They'll just like start blinking a little bit more and it'll be like, "Bro, that freaking sells it."
Like you feel it, you know, with the closeup just from the blinking or no blinking.
>> Or no blinking. There you go.
>> Next section. Create an effective decision-making environment regardless of wank rank. Even in the midst of intense combat, leaders must create an environment that is conducive to making cognitive, not emotional decisions. They can start creating this environment by physically and emotionally disengaging from the immediate fight. You heard me say this a thousand times. Come off. Go to Highport. Come off the skirmish line.
This may mean finding sufficient cover for a local command post. A company commander seldom belongs in the hatch of his vehicle or exposed on the street scanning for targets like a rifleman. Of course, desperate times will call for every gun to be in the fight, but only a handful of commanders will ever face the situation. The goal is for every leader to mentally zoom out from his personal tact tactical situation and take a more macrolevel view of the battle, preparing his brain to handle the impending cognitive challenges. This is what you need to do. And again, it's not just in combat. During that meeting and everyone start getting wild, just ease your chair back.
Push away from the table. Shut your mouth and listen to what's going on.
Don't get involved in Don't get on your gun, which is your your mouth. Don't start firing your mouth off. No. Listen.
Assess.
The commander should use his space from the battle to focus on what he is trained to do. Assess and analyze what has occurred. Recognize friendly forces vulnerabilities. Predict the what the enemy will do next. Decide on feasible course of action. Communicate the plan to the unit and apply the appropriate leadership skills to inspire the unit to accomplish the mission. The specifics of these steps can include conducting rapid terrain analysis and land navigation using complex digital systems, calling for mortar artillery or aircraft fires, establishing hasty, and it gives a whole list of things that you got to do. These are highly cognitive and require a steady mind. A leader needs to find a suitable environment where he can generate new ideas, new insights for each unique tactical situation encountered.
Battle drills are of course an effective method units use to survive the first moments of event. But the leaders must think beyond the battle drill and formulate innovative ways to beat the enemy. If you hear me talking at the muster, I'm like, "Oh, what's the first thing I did? Get on, you know, take cover, return fire, and then immediately get off the gun, look around. Got a whole team that's shooting, you need to look around, make a call."
As neuroscientist Jonah Layer explains in how we decide, this is where prefrontal cortex really demonstrates its unique strengths. It is the only brain region able to take an abstract principle and apply it in an unfamiliar context to come up with something entirely original for a solution.
It's very powerful. And then we got a uh a model for cognitive battle in your brain at work. David Rock explains that the mental processes relevant to performing work are understanding, recalling, deciding, memorizing, and inhibiting. These are the things that are, you know, what you're doing.
Understanding following the initial shock of an attack. Understanding involves how a leader creates maps in the prefrontal cortex that represent new incoming information and connects these maps to existing maps in the rest of his brain. That's what we're doing. You could look at terrain. You're looking at the enemy that initiated the attack. You got pertinent data. You got the population considerations. You got maneuverability requirements. You got restrictions and friendly force disposition. These are all the things that you're mapping out. And then recalling in battle, recalling is the process of comparing existing situation with the database of stored knowledge in the long-term memory of networks.
These are the lessons that you've learned. These are the instructions that you've received. These are the experiences that you've had. These are doctrines that you've looked at. These are lessons learned that you've gone through. This is where perhaps a little phrase or a piece of advice comes into play like cover and move or take the high ground.
or keep it simple.
Next up is deciding. A combat leader's brain engages in the deciding process when it chooses which recalled information will be most useful and applies it to real time in the world to build a new mental map.
That's the one we're making the decision. And then memorizing. This was one that I didn't really expect. The other ones make sense, right? David Rock describes memor memorizing as holding maps in attention in the prefrontal cortex long enough to embed them in long-term memory. Research shows that is impossible for our brains to simultaneously hold multiple complex concepts in working memory without degrading accuracy. For leaders in battle, memorizing is also in the internalization of a plan. Focusing on the concept of an operation, planned or hasty, creates familiarity that allows execution without redundant analysis or reference to written notes. Yeah. And what that boils down, that was kind of cool. Um, my first deployment to Iraq, we were always going to a different like AO like area of operations or Baghdad, but Baghdad's huge. I think I want to say Baghdad was like nine times bigger than Ramani.
>> And so you'd be going to a neighborhood you'd never seen it before. And I would do a decent job of getting familiar with the battle map going in there, but not as good as we like once you're in Romani for four months, you're just like, I know where this is.
>> And it just makes you better at it.
>> I think if I went back in time, I would do a little bit more memorization of the battle maps.
>> But what I would memorize would be like phase lines >> or this the approach to the building or follow on targets. Like I would I would have chunks of it so that then then I understand it makes sense. Like you don't want to have to be like, "Hey, we're moving to phase line bravo." And be like, "Hold on, let me pull up my map and figure out exactly where it is." Oh, no. There's the there's the the building with the fence by it. That's phase on Bravo. Cool.
>> So that makes sense. And it gives you phase line >> just uh it's an area of an operation that you designate. For instance, uh hey, when we reach this when we've got all our forces assembled, >> we're at the at this phase line at this location. Hey, we're at phase line alpha. Now, we've pushed through the target. The target's secured. We're at phase line bravo >> is it's just a way of describing kind of the kind of the flow of an operation chronologically, but it's also physical.
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. So, it's like a little designation of an understood >> Yep. area.
>> Exactly.
>> Yeah. Okay.
Uh the next one, the last one is inhibiting. Inhibiting is the practice of selective focus. When one actively tries not to engage certain mental maps because they're irrelevant or counterproductive, we call that prioritize and execute.
>> That's the red uh light when they press record on a camera.
>> Yep.
>> You got to suppress.
>> Suppress that thing. But it's also prioritize execute. Like these things don't matter right now. These nine things over here don't matter. What matters is these two things right here.
>> Yeah.
So inhibiting is practice of selective focus. This is prioritize and execute all day.
Um the leader must and he talks about some of the things that we got to suppress. Must suppress his learned tendencies, realign his mental perspective and develop new neural connections that will help him properly frame and respond to it. And then this author adds personalizing. To these I add personalizing which is which can apply to every moment of a leader's day.
This is the application of leadership principles and personal personality attributes that will guide the organization to accomplish the mission effectively. Personalizing is the leader's conscious effort to prevent external influences from altering the foundation of character and leadership that he has consistently developed and that his subordinates have learned to expect.
And then it talks about training for the emotional emotionally stable fight.
Training for combat is about changing the brain. Decades of neuroscience. And by the way, what's cool is I've got I've got I got to see this over and over again. I got to see young SEAL leaders when they're going through training be get caught up in the emotions and learn how to detach and start to be able to make really good decisions.
>> So, this is something that you can do.
You can change your brain. Decades of neuroscience research have firmly shown that the brain is highly adaptable and that repeated activities designed to create specific behaviors like combat training literally change the cellular structure and strength of connections between neurons.
So you can actually change these things.
You can start to get some control over how much time you spend in the gray slop at the rifleman level. training teaches soldiers to respond reflexively to situations that demand spontaneous conditioned response, such as engaging an enemy fighter at close range and like mag changes and ready up drills. It is the same behavioral process that professional athletes apply to develop the fine-tuned motor skills needed in competition. This learning process also applies to activities that demand higher cognitive ability, such as detailed planning for a combat operation or reacting to a complex attack. A way to train this capability would be construct an exercise that requires leaders to undergo physical or fearinduced stress and then perform deliberate time constrained planning for an ambiguous situation. So you get better at these things. And again, I just said that you see this and you've heard me talk about this before. Um, in the military, they want to get you used to being afraid.
>> So what do you do to get used to being afraid? Well, guess what I did? The first thing I did was climb over the low wall. You climb over the low wall. It's only like 12 feet. Mhm.
>> You climb over it, you kind of dangle and you The next obstacle, two obstacles away, the cargo net. The cargo net is like 50 ft up.
>> You got to climb to the top of it. When you get to the top of it, you got to climb over it. And at a certain point, you got to kind of like just let go and get to the other side.
>> If you're scared of heights, you're not going to be able to do it. You got to >> And even if you're not scared of heights, you got to overcome them or well, it doesn't matter. You got to go do it, right? You got to suppress that feeling. And then by the way, a little further on the obstacle course is the slide for life.
>> Now you're up three stories. You're going to dangle off the edge and slide down a rope. It's if you can't if you're afraid going to be a problem.
>> So the slide for life. The you said you got to dangle on a rope. What? You slide down a rope or slide down a rope?
>> Like a zip line.
>> It's at an angle. It's like a zipline, but you're using your hands as the zip >> and you you pull yourself down like hand overhand.
>> Oh, okay. Yeah. So, you're kind of maneuvering >> and then eventually do it commando stop style. Once you get to a certain point in buds, they let you like slide down on your stomach.
>> But when you when they first make you do it, you're like hanging underneath a rope. Like your legs are wrapped around the rope and you're pulling yourself.
How do you slide down on your stomach?
If you're going to >> just go look up commando style slide for life and you'll see somebody doing it.
>> I'm going to >> Or I think they even call it Australian style.
>> Hell yeah. Okay. All right. Cool. But eventually you get done with that, guess what you're doing? Repelling off the tower and then you're repelling out of a helicopter and then you're fast roping out of a helicopter and then you're parachuting and you're first parachuting a static line and then eventually you're free falling and then you're free falling from high altitude with an oxygen and a rucks sack.
>> Each one of those things >> levels up the amount of fear induced situation. And then they do the same thing with shooting. Like the first time you're shooting on a static range and then the next thing you're shooting, you know, uh, on a static range with a little bit of movement and then eventually you're doing live fire immediate action drills in the middle of the desert with rockets and grenades going off.
>> You ever been afraid of heights or had a thing against heights?
>> I I think I have just a normal kind of natural like appreciation, you say.
>> We'll see.
>> But the weird thing is when you're parachuting, it doesn't feel like heights. that that's and I feel I don't I don't know at the end of the day, but it feels like Yeah. If I feel like that's kind of one of the little tests >> I've been more I've been more aware >> of the height when I was on a building or on a rooftop >> than I was ever aware of the height when you're when you're jumping out of an airplane.
>> Yeah. The I'm with you. The the same deal where if I climbed up there, I don't get afraid of heights at all. If I like, you know, like a big cargo net or something like this, Um, the only time I'm like quote unquote aware where I'm like >> is you're in a let's say a hotel or something, you're on a top floor and then they just allow you out on the balcony.
>> And I'm like, bro, this there is very little barrier given how far down that is. You see what I'm saying? Like someone could like fall over this balcony and just freaking fall this whole >> uh like a airplane or um or something like that. It's almost like there's too much of a disconnect to understand that you're high up. you just seem like you're just sort of in a different world, you know? So, you don't >> But I feel like that's kind of the the litmus test where if it's like if people have this like, oh, like they kind of have this panic mode when they're like way up in the air, I feel like, bro, if I fell from here, I would I don't know.
I'm not in touch with it. You see what I'm saying? I don't know.
>> Interesting.
>> Makes sense. Um, continuing on, units should structure training to present multiple streams of information and detectable patterns of enemy activity that will teach leaders what to look for. So, that's what we're doing, right? We're putting people in situations where they got to start going, wait a second, it doesn't really matter that there's this is happening.
What matters is that >> like we used to tell guys if there was no shooting like the enemy stops shooting stops shooting at you. Your instinct can't be oh cool they left.
Your instinct has to be they're maneuvering.
>> So that's the kind of thing you can train people to pay attention to.
On the individual level, leaders should develop personal cognitive battle drills that better prepare them for mental challenges of combat. They should rehearse exactly what words they will use to report initial contact and what guidance they use, anticipating issuing in the opening moments of a battle.
These drills create neural circuitry that is familiar to the brain when the actual event happens, thus making it easier to execute with calm and confidence.
Leaders should position themselves on the battlefield to facilitate their cognitive responsibilities. Despite mission, terrain, or movement technique, leaders must discern what position allows them to survey all aspects of the fight. As much as possible, they should directly observe their soldiers and get information real time without compromising their ability to keep a macro view.
Conversely, soldiers expect to see their leaders at the proverbial front and cannot respect leaders who are never among them. Finding this balance is part of what makes command an art. Most importantly, all leaders have a responsibility to build a database of professional knowledge that will assist them in creating insight during stressful situations. They do this by studying doctrine, seeking instruction from mentors, being self-critical about performance, reading, recording new ideas, participating in thought exercises, discussing related concepts with peers, and reading professional works.
You got to know history. You got to have tactical options. You got to have your personal experience. And if you have those things, you will be able to find creative answers on the battlefield because sometimes the answer is not in doctrine.
The concept of brain-based combat leadership deserves attention in both military and professional development courses and unit level education training programs. Teaching leaders what they will physiologically experience will better prepare them to maintain emotional stability and effectively lead others during combat. It's got a bunch of recommendations for the army in here.
And then here's the conclusion.
Combat involves a wide range of events, dangers, and sensory inputs that can easily overwhelm the unprepared mind.
The first job of every soldier, regardless of rank, is to maintain his composure and react reflexively to the threat as required. Leaders, however, must go beyond the conditioned response to combat that we train on the live fire range. They must zoom out, right? Detach and adopt a macro level view of the battle. Quickly analyze events occurring, decide on appropriate response, coordinate complex systems, and apply the appropriate leadership skills to accomplish the mission. These brain functions are among the most sophisticated processes that we humans can perform. Leaders who do not protect their own cognitive function during combat will find themselves short of the biological resources necessary to win.
meaning glucose to your brain and place themselves and others at risk.
In this sense, knowing how to think could be a combat leader's most valuable tool. So what that whole article was about was trying to get leaders, trying to teach leaders to detach from the monkey brain and use your brain to think and not be driven by your instincts, but driven by logic and reason.
Now, here's where I'm going to give some additional information that is slightly contrary. It's not contrary, but you have to think about it.
This is something I've always said.
Detachment doesn't mean that you become void of emotions. In fact, emotions have to be part of the calculus. your emotions, your team's emotions, your boss's emotions, all emotions need to be taken into account. Now, this does not mean that that that they drive our decision-making process, but they have to play a role. They have to be in the calculus.
We have to be the driver, right? Here's my metaphor. We heard about a chariot. We heard about this. We have to have the steering wheel. We have to have the brakes. We have to have the gas. We have to know when is it the good time to add more emotion because sometimes we need to add more emotion to the situation.
Right? You ever had a situation where someone's not getting it? Like cornering someone in MMA >> and they're losing two rounds >> and they have one more round left and they go, "I think the fight's going okay." No, that's not No, you might need to You might need to press the gas on the emotion. You also might need to take some of that emotion away and you know, in yourself, you might need to know when it's time to turn on the emotion, when it's time to pull some back. You might need to know what you need to control when it's time to follow your instinct and when it's time to say, "Hold on, I need to I need to pay attention to the logic here." That should be our goal.
Our goal should be to have the steering wheel, have the brakes, have the gas, know when we need to push, know when we need to pull back, and learn how to drive and manage and modulate your emotions and your ego and your reason and your logic and utilize all those different inputs to create decisions and solutions and create actions.
And of course, you can't do any of this if you can't detach. You'll never figure out anything that I'm talking about if you are in the gray slop.
You won't ever see it. You won't even know what I'm talking about right now.
But you can't abandon emotions and ego and passion. You need to stay in touch with them. You need to stay connected to them, but you can't be controlled by them. And this is very very difficult.
And and it's also very very important.
So te Lawrence uh Lawrence of Arabia famous British guy archaeologist he's a military officer he became famous during the Arab revolt in 1916 and 1918 against the Ottoman Empire and he had a a a quote in his book the seven pillars of wisdom nine of tactics are certain and taught in books but the irrational tenth is like the king fisher flashing across a pool. And that is a that is the test of generals. And I saw a guy on uh Twitter X named infantry dort which had a lot of good information. He had this quote up.
But the point of this quote is this is something that is very very difficult to teach this that you can learn 9/10 of being a combat leader. You can learn from the books. You can learn from the schoolhouse. You can learn it on the drill field. Like there's all nine ten of. You can have it all dialed in, but there's a tenth of it. He calls it the irrational tenth, which is like you can't you can't teach it to somebody.
Now, TE Lawrence does say you can get better at it, but it's very very difficult to teach, but it's not only applicable to the military, it's applicable like you hear about it in sports, right? In sports, I I think and you can correct me on this. You're more of a sports guy than I am. Uh you hear people describing athletes that have certain intangibles, >> right? They hey, they're they got this capability, they got this much talent, but they have intangibles.
>> Uh Michael Jordan, >> was he the tallest guy? No. Like he But what did he have? He had something that we all have a hard time naming.
And people will try and name it court sense. Like even courts sense, what's that? Is that a thing? Like are we going to name that?
>> Like is that a can you just can I teach you court sense?
>> Right. Right.
>> Maybe I can give you some. You get familiar with the game. But there's some people that have another level of it.
Tom Brady, the famous uh videos of Tom Brady at the combine >> looking weak, you know, slow.
>> But what did he have? He had some intangibles.
Muhammad Ali, Lionel Messi, Dion Sanders, these people handsome. And MMA, we see it, right? Jon Jones, Johnny Bones Jones. What is he doing? Like, he's doing like, okay, we we all know Muay Thai, we all know wrestling, we all know jiu-jitsu, >> we all know boxing, but all of a sudden, he's doing something else, right? He's taking all those things and mixing in a way that we go, "Wait, no one taught him that."
>> And Coach Jackson would say like, "No, he I never saw him do that before. He just did it there." in the moment.
>> Fedor Ameliono, what is he putting together? How does he how how's he winning fights, right?
Hicks and Gracie, Marcelo Garcia into the jiu-jitsu world. Like, what? There's something going on there.
They have these untangles. They have these these these irrational tents that it doesn't matter. You can't get them from the gym. And then in Hollywood, you get the same thing, right? In Hollywood, what do they call it? They call it it.
The They call it the it factor. Just it.
>> Marilyn Monroe, uh, Marlon Brando, Denzel Washington, right? Al Puccini, Chris Pratt.
>> Chris Pratt, bro. You hang out with Chris Pratt and you go, "Oh, >> yeah."
>> You're like, "Oh, okay. There's a reason that he's Chris Pratt. There's something about him.
>> He's got some thing. They call it it.
They call it uh the thing, but you you when you don't you don't really know what it is. Like when I was first going to meet Chris Pratt, I was going to a UFC fight with Jack Carr and we were we were flying from LA. This was super cool. But it was my first time meeting like a real famous like Hollywood person. And I was kind of like, "Oh, you know, I bet this guy's going to be like, you know, how they portrayed Matt Damon in um in in America, Team America, World Police."
>> Oh, I know.
>> You know, they kind of portrayed Matt Damon like like kind of just dumb or whatever.
>> And so I kind of thought, you know, I don't know nothing about Hollywood. I'm like, "Okay, that must be the real assessment of these Hollywood people."
So, but I, you know, I seen Chris Brad and stuff, but I thought, you know, whatever. like he's going to be kind of like that charact caricature that they put forward in team America world police >> and then you meet him and you spend like five minutes around him and you go oh okay okay I get it there the reason that he's who he is but no one can he didn't learn that in acting school I don't even think he went to acting school >> right he didn't go he didn't I don't think he was in the school plays and had the the the drama teacher like saying no you need to give a little bit more furrow in your brow or be a a little bit quicker on your comeback. Like I none of that, but there's something there. And then you get like rock musicians, right?
Aussie of course, Elvis, Hrix, Prince, uh, like, you know, these are people that they just have some thing. And by the way, not just singers, but uh you people that are people that can play an instrument. If you go down to Guitar Center and you put up, hey, I'm hiring a guitarist. I need a guitarist that can play Led Zeppelin Black Sabbath tool, >> which is hard as hell, and Rush, which is hard as hell, proficiently.
>> Call this number. I'll get in San Diego.
I'll get 10 phone calls.
>> Yeah. and they'll be able to do it too.
>> And one of the guys is like a waiter, one of the guys will be a construction worker, one of the guys will be a what, whatever, >> because they they're really good at their instrument, but they don't have that little thing that Kurt Cobain had, which is take four chords and turn it into like a crazy a whole album. M >> so there is this unquantifiable kind of tenth or or intangible um irrational tenth and here's what I think is especially from a leadership perspective that thing is the connection back to the gray slop.
the connection back to the gray slop which is the ability to connect with someone emotionally, connect to that animal instinct, communicate with that like you ever even what you're just talking about like you see someone talking and they're getting people fired up. They're not talking to their logical.
>> You never heard someone say I want to go over the statistics right now. Like they don't that's not that's not a fired up speech.
>> The fired up speech doesn't appeal to that.
What it does when someone has this ability, when they have that connection back to their emotional gray slop and they can modulate it properly, they can utilize it to write a great song to lead people to improvise a a a martial arts move like they're to get when they get done, Conor McGregor gets a hold of the microphone and everyone goes nuts because he's going to connect in a way that someone else that doesn't have that ability >> to have problems or to not not get where they want to go.
And by the way, sometimes some people can tap into it and and they but but it's too much, right? And in the like in in the in the entertainment business, you end up with Kurt Cobain, you end up with Jim Morrison, you end up with Janice Joplin, you end up with Amy White House, you end up Wine House, you end up with Sid Vicious, you end up with Jim Belalushi, you end up with Heath Ledger. Like these people are people that would tap back in, but then it would kind of like just get hold of them.
So they It's one of these things. You got to control it.
You got to tap into it. But if you don't have control over it, it'll And by the way, this happens with leaders too. Like leaders that lose their minds, which I, you know, when you have a leader that's in charge of an organization and they lose their minds, >> they were a they use that tapping into their emotions and their ego to drive things and make things happen, but at a certain point it takes over and they lose their minds. They they their their prefrontal cortex just shuts down and now their ego's running the show and it's a disaster.
Sure.
So that's why you got to you got to know how to when to hit the brakes, you got to know when to hit gas, you got to steer it in the right direction.
And if you can if you have the rationalization and you have the discipline to do that, you have the discipline to go, "Oh, hold on a second.
This is about to be an egotistical decision." And by the way, when I stood up in front of the company, I said, "We're going to we're going to go into this market. Nothing's going to stop us." And that was tapping into my ego and tapping into my emotion and connecting with other people's emotion because they all want to win and I want to win because that's going to do better for our survival in the world and I'm going to tap into that. But then two months later when it's like, hey, we got a decision to make on if we're going to continue to expend this money on this marketing campaign that hasn't done well. My ego might be saying, I know it's going to work, but it's not a good move. And you got to be able to you got to be able to decipher >> Yeah. and utilize the proper area of your brain. And you have to be the person that's controlling it. You can't let your emotions make decisions, but you can't leave them out of the decisions. And sometimes you got to press the gas on your emotions. And sometimes you got to press the gas on your ego. You ever seen some an MMA fighter as they're getting closer and closer to the fight, they start their ego starts growing.
>> If it grows too early, they stop training.
>> If it grows too late, they're not ready for the fight. They doubt themselves.
They have got to figure out how to modulate these things. We have to figure out how we modulate these things. When someone can do that, that's a rare person.
And that's going to be the person that rises to the top. But you know, we we're not counting on that over here. I'm not, you know, Jaco's not over here just counting on all the doing it right. We're just trying to do better.
We're just trying to do better. And in order to do better, in my opinion, we truly have to learn first of all to detach from that gray slop, that animal instinct, which by the way drives so much in our lives. Okay? And by the way, the workout that you didn't do, >> grace law, that's animal instincts telling you you're tired, telling you don't need to do it. the donut that you ate, immediate gratification.
Dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine. That's all it is. The gray slop is if we're not out of it, if we're in it, we're not doing the right thing.
That's what happens. Letting our our stupid animal instincts make decisions about our long-term lives or without considering our long-term lives.
We cannot allow this. We have to get control. We have to detach. We have to elevate above the gray slop. We have to take control of our lives.
And when needed, we artfully utilize the emotion and the ego and the passion like a, you know, it's like a little uh like a little fuel, little nuclear reactor. It's real like it's burning. Those things are burning.
But you can't let that fire get out of control. It's like a meltdown in a nuclear facility. You got to keep it.
You got to know when to put the carbon rods into the reactor to cool it down.
Sometimes you can't let it just run out of control or you can have a meltdown, which is terms that people use about someone having a freaking meltdown. Why is that? They let their emotion, they let their ego, they let their passion get out of control. Set them on fire. But if you can control that, if you contain that energy and utilize it properly, you're going to have a win.
So think about that. And if you can do that, it is going to elevate every aspect of your life.
And that's what I got. That's what I got for today. So pay attention to it. It's there. The chimpanzeee mind is strong and it is loud.
You ever think you know that it factor or whatever? I feel like and I was >> kind of going deep as you were explaining. I was like that's probably that's true. You know like the the ability and you said something actually which was spot on a little bit later.
You said artfully artfully like you know take from the >> the gray part the gray slop and then to you know and kind of interchange them and whatever to create this kind of thing. Um I it feels like it's like with five minutes of thinking obviously but uh the it factor that you know that intangible that what is it the 10% the something 10% >> the irrational tenth >> yeah the irrational tenth I think it has to do with some kind of lack of restraint or boundary whatever that looks like you know like um I think in acting they call it like self self-consciousness you got to let go of the self-consciousness, you know, and I think and even in sports, right, where you like you doubt like any competition, you have a healthy level of doubt for yourself, you know, kind of a thing. But then if you can, some people have it just naturally where they're like, I don't follow those rules like even all the way down to their subconscious like they don't follow your etiquette like Brad doesn't apply to me, you know, kind of a thing. So, like, okay, remember the Okay, this MMA guy, he was um he was a black guy. He used to fight in I want to say he would like he'd do weird crazy stuff. What was his name? Um um Ed 9 mil.
>> No, no, no. Yeah. No, it was it was a different guy. We don't I don't think we know him personally. He was uh he was my younger brother's favorite guy. I think he had like silver teeth, maybe.
>> Yeah. Um >> Yep.
>> Crazy Horse.
>> Crazy Horse. Bennett. Charles Bennett.
Charles Betty. So he was wild.
>> Exactly. Right. So he isn't wild. That's exactly what I'm saying. But he had this very specific thing where >> he wasn't like he he was the opposite as far as his style goes. It wasn't this highly disciplined, you know? Like think GSP, right? If you if GSP comes out to win this fight, you're like, "Bro, this guy's game is just tight." You know, like he's making all the right moves.
>> Bro, you you're even more right than you know you are. I I've been uh back in the day uh with UFC on the same card GSP fighting. You could see like cutting weight. You would see him cutting weight like a like a machine. Just a machine.
Just like you know, checking weight like no big deal. Like no expression on his face, >> you know, just just so disciplined and professional. Yeah.
>> You're like, "Okay, cool."
>> Like clockwork. Even his fights like same. And you know which fight was really like this guy came to like 100% win. Like >> no risk, no this and that. Like this was like a it's almost like hey if you were going to increase the probability of you winning by to 100% you have to do all the right things take zero risk and do the right things and finish the fight.
>> Yeah.
>> This is how you'd fight. And it was his rematch against Matt Sarah when he lost to Matt Sarah. That second one it was like bro this guy's not losing. There's no way he's going to lose. So anyway, it was so calculated and so tight >> versus Crazy Horse Bennett.
>> Y >> bro, the exact opposite, bro. But that [ __ ] still still won sometimes or a lot of and by the way, he connected emotionally with so many people. He was a fan favorite. He's a fan favorite, but he didn't modulate it enough. And by the way, it didn't only apply to In the Cage. It was also like what was his lifestyle like? Was this a guy that was >> like on the mats training? No, he was like not on the mats. I he was a obviously a very gifted guy and he trained but like that next level of discipline >> there was more emotion. There was more crazy. That's why his literal nickname was crazy horse.
>> So maybe his un irrational tenth was like a irrational 30 or something like this or it was it was bigger than it maybe should have been as far as ideal.
But as far as identifying that thing, he had a lot of that thing where he was like he didn't have boundaries. He didn't have internal boundaries like, "Hey, maybe I shouldn't." No, he was sending it. I'll just full send like good. This is what we're doing. This is what I'm doing, you know? And it wasn't like, "I'm going to timidly send it cuz you know some guys they'll timidly send it." You know, >> Jeremy Stevens, >> another like he he was losing a fight, you know, and I was in his corner and >> I had to I had to go emotional with him and get him emotional.
>> Yeah. And dude, he got emot cuz he's an emotional dude, you know? And dude, he tapped into that emotion and freaking almost murdered a guy. You know what I'm saying? Just KO'ed a a brother >> because but it was one of those things where his he needed to tap into that at that time.
>> Yeah.
>> And and that's a positive thing to have, but like you're saying like GSP like there was no I don't remember. Maybe we could find a a fight where he had to get into some like emotional level, but a lot of times, dude, GSP was just a machine. And same with like Fedor Amelonenko.
>> Yeah.
>> Like >> you did you ever >> see an expression on his face? It's like >> no, not really. He was not fighting with any type of emotion at all.
>> And that kind of became his uh made him so popular, right? Like like like just like a Terminator. But yes, this this thing is being able to figure out how much of this fire you're going to let out and when you're going to let it out >> and how you're going to let it out.
>> The guys who just like I said can put it together perfectly or cuz it has to be the perfect uh combination and then the f perfect like back and forth with all the training, discipline, competitiveness, self-confidence, like all that stuff.
And then on top of it, that like lack of restraint where you can be like, "No, I'm not going to follow the protocol.
I'm gonna I'm gonna step outside of the protocol for this one." You see what I'm saying? So like, you know, Michael Jordan or the the best one I I think I can think of thought at the top of my head is Jon Jones. Cuz you know, like, bro, he finished fights with a spinning elbow.
>> And just like how you said, uh, who was it? Coach Jackson, right? We like, yeah, I never seen him do that. But he has been he's so creative like minded with everything within the confines of his discipline for sure where he'd be like no no no I can send this and make it work. He doesn't have that constraint that I would have bro if I'm like bro I've never practiced that spinning elbow bro I'm not going to try in a fight.
Well, this is an interesting thing because I was uh you know in the in the publishing world right now there's a lot of AI being published >> and one of the things about publishing or what one of the things about humans is humans have an irrational tenth right and I don't know that they can successfully put the irrational tenth into a AI I'm you can they say by the way I want you to throw in some random thought and process it in there. But it's it's that it's random, but it's whereas AI is going to take AI is predictable. You put in the input, it's going off of it's going to be here's the story, here's the thing, because it's based on other things that have existed before, but a human is going to hopefully have this irrational 10%. The it makes a writer right. You know, I was talking to my literary agent a long time ago and she's really smart, studied at an Ivy League college, studied history and literature.
>> Mhm.
>> And one day I was like, you know, like why are you a literary agent and not a not like a writer?
>> And she says, you know, I look at a paper and I don't really have anything to write about.
>> And I was like, oh, okay. And which is weird because for me, I have like all kinds of like ridiculous ideas that I need to figure out which one I'm going to invest in, >> you know. Um but that's a similar thing.
>> Yeah. So that that we're I think yeah it was you we just weren't recording where we're this is a while ago where we'll talk about like you know creative people right and there's all different kinds of creative I get it but like you know a lot of these people who we regard as like highly creative they have this a this weird past you know where they've been through something >> whether it be traumatic or just super dynamic in one way or another that they can kind of draw upon which and whether they know it or not and I think that That's the struggle I think that AI is going to have a hard time like replicating. I whatever with enough time, who knows? But it's hard to replicate like someone's actual P. Yeah. Okay. So AI, we'll say a video, right? I make an AI video. I say, "Hey, do this and make them feel this and they'll do it." And they did it, but I'm like, "Bro, it wouldn't really look like that. It wouldn't really feel like that." You see what I'm saying? You're doing it too perfectly.
>> So when you really predictably Yeah.
predictably. Exactly. Right. If you really went through it, oh, you would know there's little details of someone, you know, like if someone's telling a story about like their friend and be like, "You're talking about yourself right now." You see what I'm saying? Cuz you know, like there's something that kind of comes with it that is like so like inherently human that it's like you you can't just replicate it. I can't describe it, but once you experience it, you're like, "Oh, okay." And it's like it's hard to like predictably recreate it out of nothing or imagination. like you kind of got to do it.
>> Well, it's kind of like we before we hit record the, you know, we know what is in an amoeba. We know all the components that are in an amoeba. We can put all those in a little dish and stir them together, but it doesn't come to life.
>> It takes some other element.
And so the idea like everything that you can put all these things into the AI dish, but like there's something that just like you said like there's something it can look similar and sound similar but at the end of the day you're kind of like well it's not quite that thing.
>> It's not quite there. So you got to tap you got to be able to tap into it appropriately. Most people don't have a problem with this by the way but I I do think most people have a problem with they're they're too emotional. They're letting their ego and all these emotions and everything run the show. But I think if you can detach more, I think people that detach properly, they find a way to better recognize the power of that emotion and funnel it and get it to a right spot where it can be utilized properly.
>> Now look, the you know like crazy artists, right, that burn in and they they better to burn out and fade away, right? That's like these people are crazy.
>> Yeah. And when they get enough success, they kind of they can kind of carry on.
But a lot of like how many people, you know, uh I I talked about Jeff Lang, the kid I grew up with, um who was smarter than me. I I in the book Final Spin, I kind of dedicated the book Final Spin to my friend Jeff Lang, who was smarter than me, funnier than me, better athlete than me, like just just a creative just a spark, just just like fire.
and he killed himself when he was 19 years old. And you're like, it was that fire was just burning so it was too much, right? And sometimes, you know, how many people are like that? And it doesn't necessarily mean they have to kill themselves, but you know, they their fire wouldn't allow them to be in a band. It wouldn't allow them to even practice their instrument. It wouldn't allow them to to sit down in front of a video thing and learn how to edit the stuff. They got too much of it >> and and it just doesn't like it can't like what you you know uh Azie Osborne like Aussie Osborne he was like a like he just like this intense creative energy and luckily like he got into Black Sabbath and and became like but if he if that wouldn't happened to him if he wouldn't have found those guys if he wouldn't have found Bill Ward and Tony and Gizer if they wouldn't have if that wouldn't have happened where would he be? I mean, I can guarantee you he wouldn't we wouldn't know who he is.
>> You know, he might have done a band here, there, whatever, but like you got to get in that moment and have the right ingredients and then you got to get a little bit of luck and you got to survive it. Like the fact that Aussie lived so long >> like why didn't he die when he was, you know, 23 years old all drunk fall into a train? Like there's so many that fire is going to burn bright and occasionally people can survive with it.
>> But a lot of times and and they can be successful with it but a lot of times that fire ends up with people in jail with people you know uh committing crimes with people oding with people just just ruining their lives. fire in the emotion and the ego. And by the way, we can say the same thing about ego.
Like what ego drives a person to achieve things, but then when it goes out of control, all of a sudden they're embezzling money and they're doing all this, you know, they're doing terrible things because their ego can't be shut down. That fire is just too much. They can't control it. They don't know how.
They never learn to modulate it.
>> Yeah. Yeah. the Aussie actually a lot of the the musical type it makes sense too.
Jim Carrey went through a version of this where so they have this we'll just call it for lack of better term the fire right so Oz has a fire this fire inside of him and he goes he's he goes crazy right no we'll say Azie Osbor >> and then you know he finds music or he he gets into music early on right so there's something about like music >> and maybe I would imagine just performing for the for the world you know like but truly performing not being performant it but like truly doing your art as for for the people and they're just loving it.
>> There's something about that. So in music, let's face it, like bro, I don't even really play music and bro, I'll listen to music and be like, man, this is like in a way. Yeah. You know, to a point where it affects you emotionally.
That's what I was going to say. You know why? Because they whoever that musician was, they tapped into that emotion. They pulled it out. They put it, they recorded it. And now when you hear it, this is the same thing to you.
occasionally just me kills himself like crazy stuff happens like we've had incredible musicians that they like Chris Cornell like from Sound Garden here's this guy he's at the top of his game 50 years old or whatever iconic but that fire caught up and then killed himself like you see what I'm saying like It's wild. So, sorry I cut you off, but yes. The reason that you echo Charles that doesn't know how to play an instrument, you know, doesn't collect records, but you will hear a song and go, "Dang, dude, this one hits."
>> Yeah. The There's a collection of songs that And my kids will um tease me about this where like if I find a song that I really like, I'll just play it over and over and over until I just don't like it anymore or I don't like it as much. But and I remember thinking to myself, I think I think there's something wrong with me in that way where >> like I don't like all music. You know, people are music lovers. I'm not a music lover, but I like certain songs like just still right now kind. So I don't know maybe there's plenty of people like that.
>> But now consider that right where I think music has a way to affect people in that way and a lot of people I think across the board that's the way music works mostly.
Now you're a person with all this fire in you and you get to not only consume that but you get to harness it and create it in a in the and that fire is just driving it. So now it's this like you're almost like this lightning rod of fire and creativity and then the medium is music that just affects and you know it's affecting themsel >> too. You see what I'm saying?
Let's face it, bro. A good song comes on that you really know, bro. You're singing it like if you're alone in your car or whatever, bro. You're singing it like you're singing it. And it feels like you're actually singing it. See what I'm saying?
>> Now, go one step further is you are the person really singing it, bro. It's like, bro, that can drive you crazy, I think.
>> You see what I'm saying? Especially if it's like if it's literally coming from you, it's like, bro, it's too much power sometimes. You see what I'm saying? And then not to mention all the fame and all this other stuff discombobulating your whole freaking mind and life. You see what I'm saying? So it kind of makes sense.
>> Yeah. And what that that's how you end up I think with that fire just >> you're getting rewarded for that fire, right? Like you're getting So then you just unleash it and boom, if you're not careful, it's going to get you.
>> Jim Carrey said he got to the point, I'm paraphrasing, that he didn't even know who he like was >> cuz it's kind of like, you know, he started off with um I just wanted to make the people around me laugh and happy. So he's like starts doing this and he likes doing it and he's it's working. So he takes it to the next level and he's, you know, his creative mind is like doing this and it's to this next level and everyone just wants that Jim Carrey making them happy and laugh then he's like, "Wait a second. If I'm not doing that, like who am I?" He focused so hardcore on it that he said like he didn't even know who he was anymore kind and I was like, "Bro, I could I could see it. I totally could see it." You see what I'm saying?
>> Yep. Just getting uh getting not only are you unleashing the fire, but everyone else is just throwing gas on it.
>> I know, bro. Totally throwing gas on it.
Oh, Jack. Jack check. Well, >> detach >> from that emotion. Use it, >> but don't let it get out of control.
>> Oh, that's what we got. Um, by the way, when we do that, when we impose discipline into our lives, which by the way, you know, when we crank up the music when we're working out, your music, your your workout can legitimately go better.
That can happen. That's when you're tapping into your emotion.
>> Sometimes when you let the emotion be, hey, I feel like sleeping in today. Echo Charles, >> which I know happened today, actually.
>> Sure.
>> Right.
>> Hey, sometimes we need a little bit more rest.
>> Not trying to call you out, but calling you out.
>> By all means.
>> You know, you know what I'm saying? Why?
Because the emotion was I'm tired. The emotion was I feel sore blah blah blah.
>> And you let it win. Mhm.
>> You didn't impose logic knowing that a good workout before you came in here would have been better.
>> Okay.
>> All right.
>> I went for a run. Okay. Oh, okay. Good.
Good. Well, hey, listen. If you're on the path, you're training, you lifted, doing jiu-jitsu, you're going to need fuel. We recommend Jaco Fuel. Check out jco.com. We have uh >> we got protein, by the way.
>> The best protein, the tastiest protein.
We got is it senco de mayo today?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Get some of that orchata.
>> Orchata. It's my mom's birthday today, too, by the way. Happy birthday, mom.
>> Happy birthday. Um, we got hydration, we got energy, we got supplementation, we got time more super krill, joint warfare, one of our best uh products.
If you look at the people that subscribe like myself >> subscription >> to joint warfare you know why you don't have years of subscription thousands and thousands of people subscribing to a product that's not gtg good to go >> good to go. Yeah.
>> So we got it all. So check out jofuel.com and fuel yourself properly. Also check out originusa.com.
We have jiu-jitsu geese, jiu-jitsu rash guards, jeans, boots, hoodies. got a new shirt coming out which I they just sent me a sample of which is legit.
>> So, we got everything that you need.
It's 100% made in America because we are not making communist clothing. We are making freedom clothing, American clothing. 100% made in America with 100% Americanmade materials. Check out originusa.com and get your wife or your significant other a pair of women's jeans because they're coming.
And apparently they they do it right.
>> They're all the hype.
>> By the way, Big H uh got one of the initial pairs >> and I'm going to say >> they are GTG.
>> GTG.
>> Uh form and function.
>> Form and function.
>> Yeah. And you know, uh girls can be quite picky about their jeans.
>> Oh yeah. Yeah. They know what they want and don't want, by the way. So it's actually a good guideline. Like let's face it, you're a bad guideline, bro.
You're just like, "Oh yeah, they function." You know, all this other stuff. I was like, "Bro, what about us who care about the aesthetic a little bit more than say Joo?" See what I'm saying? I think that's most of us, >> Jack.
>> So, it's good.
>> Originusa.com. Get some >> good to go. Also, don't forget about Jaco Store. We're representing while we're on this path, right? Discipline equals freedom. We got some good shirt.
Five versions of discipline equals freedom shirts on Joo Store. Uh the idea of good, which is, let's face it, the classic from the beginning. If something happens that's bad, there is some good that comes out of it. See what I'm saying? You want to represent? We got three versions of good other stuff do good stuff on there. Uh I made the shirts functional in the way so well that people say this is my favorite shirt.
Not necessarily because of the design but how it fits on me.
>> I said my job was done well then. Proud of that.
>> Thank you for that. Also uh Shirt Locker which is different design every month.
That's a subscription scenario. Um but I am releasing one more shirt from the Shirt Locker.
>> Which one? into the main >> into the wild. What is it?
>> Sugarcoated lies.
>> Uh is that that one right there?
>> Nope. This is a different one.
>> Sugarwood light. The one that everyone Yeah. Yeah. I'm releasing that one. Uh be uh on the lookout for that. If you want to be notified, put your email. Go join to put your email in that. I'll email you when it comes up.
>> Oh, so you can spam everybody?
>> No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't I don't spam anyone. I've never spammed anyone ever in my whole life. Ever. And I never will.
>> Dang.
>> I don't mean that. I don't like that.
>> But I will let you know when it's live and when it's going live, even before it goes live, so you can jump on there whenever you want.
>> See what I'm saying? You want to get it, you want to get to jump on it, you can.
If you want to get back to it, you can.
You do run the risk of it selling out, though, because they do tend to sell out nonetheless.
>> It's all on joostore.com. Check it out.
Uh, also, we got some books. Check out Put Your Legs On by Rob Jones. Check out Need to Lead by Dave Burke. I've written a bunch of books about leadership with my brother Leavin. written some other books for adults and kids. Check all those out. Warrior Kid movie coming.
Movie coming November 20th.
>> Oh yeah, >> right. Way of the Warrior Kid movie starring Chris Pratt, who has it, by the way.
>> Has it big time?
>> Directed by Mick G. Kind of has it too.
You know, >> legitimacy and authenticity wise.
>> Yes.
>> Excellence.
>> Excellence.
>> Excellence and legitimacy.
>> Y >> that's what Echo Charles Oh, cuz Echo Charles is in it too, by the way.
>> Yeah.
>> Acting.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Stretch of a role, >> you know, >> playing a jiu-jitsu black belt up there with the ghee on >> being very supportive.
>> Y >> dude, you did a you did a great job there. You brought a lot of excellence and legitimacy to the situation. We all we were all very happy.
>> Thanks.
>> Uh primalbeef.com.
>> You need steak, check out primalbeef.com and Coloradobeef.com.
Also, Echelon Front, we have something called the muster. We just got done with the muster. The muster is a two-day conference educational scenario where we teach the skills of leadership as a skill. We teach the skills of leadership.
Leadership is not something you're born with. It is something that is a skill that you can learn and you can improve.
If you need leadership inside your organization, it would be an outstanding opportunity for you to come to the muster. The next one is in July and it is in San Diego.
So that is a very cool place. We did it in the summertime. We know that people like to come to San Diego. So if you want to make it into a little family scenario, bring the fam out, you learn about leadership >> and the family gets a little >> SeaWorld, a little San Diego zoo, a little beach. We're here daygo as they say. So echelonfront.com if you want to check that out. Also, Extreme Ownership, we have an online academy where we teach these principles and skills as well. And then, of course, if you want to help service members active and retired, you want to help their families, want to help Goldstar families, check out Mark Lee's mom, Mama Lee, she's got an amazing charity organization. If you want to donate or you want to get involved, go to americaasmightywarriors.org.
Also, check out heroes and horses.org.
And finally, Jimmy May's organization beyond the brotherhood.org.
If you want to connect with us, you can check out joo.com. And then on social media, I'm at Joink echo at Echo Charles. Just be careful because that whole thing is filled with a bunch of uh spam crap trying to manipulate your brain. It's what it is. People paying money to get into your brain and get control of you. And you know how they attack you, by the way?
>> They appeal to your animal instincts.
>> Your brain gray slop.
>> Your gray slop. That's why the thumbnails are what the thumbnails are.
And I apologize for the freaking dumbass thumbnails that Ekko's made when he was experimenting with AI. And I'm like, "Bro, I asked you to stop doing those no less than I would say eight times." I was like, "Bro, this is the dumbest looking AI looking slop."
>> And then I'd think I'd shut it down and then the next one would come out and be me like on a stack of gold coins with a crown on or me in a business suit. I'm like, "Bro." And I get it because it was early in the AI.
>> Yeah.
>> It was early in the AI generation. So you were kind of like flexing in a way.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> But it didn't take long before you were you were not flexing anything.
>> Yeah.
>> But I reverse.
>> So anyways, but that's what people do.
They create these thumbnails. You didn't create thumbnails specifically aimed at your uh animal instincts. But whenever you see a thumbnail that's got like a female >> Oh yeah.
>> You know that's that's in some skimpy outfit, >> right?
>> That's or they put some fear into you like a fearful title.
>> Yeah.
>> Or uh you can win now like >> defeat anyone like those kind of things.
>> The things you're missing if you notice that.
>> Y that's those are real AI. Sorry. Those are real gray slop attacks and you fall for them. We all fall for them. That's why they get so many views. Yeah.
>> So, just be careful when you're in that zone. Just be careful. Try and scroll with your with your prefrontal cortex and you you'll spend if you if you engage your prefrontal cortex, you'll be you'll shut it. You'll go do something smart. Three three scrolls later, you'll be like, "What is this crap?"
>> Yeah.
>> But if you just let your let your uh your limbic brain just it'll look at that [ __ ] all day just like, "Oh, wow.
It's amazing. Oh, it's incredible. Oh, that looks like a good meal. Oh, I I'm going to learn something new. I didn't learn anything. I'm going to learn something that's going to change my mind. I didn't learn it. That's what it is.
>> So, just be careful. That's what's happening there. And finally, thanks to all of our service members, Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps. Thank you for your service and sacrifice that allows us to live in freedom and live in security. Also, thanks to our police, law enforcement, firefighters, paramedics, EMTs, dispatchers, correctional officers, Border Patrol, Secret Service, as well as all of the first responders. Thank you for your service and sacrifice that keeps us safe here on our soil and everyone else out there.
You got to be the one that's in control.
Not your impulses, not your emotions, not your ego, but you, your enlightened self. You with plans and goals and hopes and dreams and things that can only be achieved if you are holding the steering wheel.
If you force yourself to overcome the short-term immediate gratification of the mind that satisfies satisfies you right now but robs you of your future.
And I'm not saying don't have emotions.
You got to have emotions and you should utilize those emotions but don't let those emotions utilize you.
Do not allow that. And if you do that, you will improve your lot in life.
That's all we've got for tonight and until next time, this is Ekko and Joo out.
Related Videos
What is the 'Four Sixes' Dating Trend? The Reality Behind Social Media's Impossible Standards
IsiahFactorUncensored
260 views•2026-05-29
Why Do We Dream? The Strange Psychology Behind It
PsychologyIsSimplified
118 views•2026-06-03
The terrifying truth about False Awakenings... #facts #glitchinthematrixstories #science
OmissionArchive
784 views•2026-05-30
🔥 Meghan’s Curtsy EXPOSED Harry’s Feelings
TheBehaviorPanel
16K views•2026-06-01
The Fastest Way of Calming Down Your Anxious Partn
emotionalsam
2K views•2026-05-29
📩People Are Concerned About "His" Mental Health! You Leaving Broke💔Something In "Him"...
SeeWhatSee-n2m
4K views•2026-06-01
Never Alone Series, Season Two | Episode One with Jesula Jeannot & Ashleigh Cromer
BeStrongGlobal
2K views•2026-05-30
When Two People With Disorganized Attachment Fall in Love: The Real Reason It Doesn't Last
AttachmentAdam
311 views•2026-06-01
