Best of the Worst: Accidental Sean Connery Spotlight Episode

追加: 2026-05-28

[00:00:01]What?

[00:00:02]>> Rich, what?

[00:00:02]>> What? What?

[00:00:04]>> Before us stands all of the movies that we've watched on Best of the Worst, and they're all weird, bad movies.

[00:00:14]>> Uh-huh.

[00:00:15]>> But today, we're doing something totally different, and you're going to hate it.

[00:00:21]>> Oh, yeah. What brought this on? It certainly wasn't a failed spotlight episode for Zaros.

[00:00:28]He's trying to find where he auditions for the village people.

[00:00:49]In our studio, we have walls of tapes and DVDs that indicate horror, sci-fi, and action genres, >> but we also have a wall of tapes and DVDs that we rarely, if ever, go to >> the Forbidden Wall. So, >> it's called the Forbidden Wall. Um, also called the Wall of Weird, where >> it's fun fact, it's the wall where Robot and the Family came from.

[00:01:15]>> Yes. Yes.

[00:01:17]uh movies that don't quite fit any particular genre. They could be kids movies. They could be, you know, they're not wheel of worse tapes. They're they're actually features. Um so it's we call it the wall of weird. And uh I'm just going to pick something from the wall of weird.

[00:01:32]>> Oh, go for it.

[00:01:33]>> And uh I'm not going to look and whatever it is, we're going to watch it.

[00:01:37]And as movie watching professionals, we're going to do our best to critique the film and discuss its uh uh positives and negatives. And uh you're going to >> noatter hate me.

[00:01:48]>> No matter what it is.

[00:01:49]>> No matter what it is.

[00:01:50]>> The point is we're going to do a spotlight episode on it.

[00:01:53]>> It's going to be a movie we don't know what it is.

[00:01:57]>> Sure.

[00:01:58]Sure.

[00:02:07]>> Someone bought us this. I just found it.

[00:02:09]I don't know.

[00:02:11]It's the cover of the the newspaper from Back to the Future 2 in a blanket form.

[00:02:15]Someone sent it to us. Here we go. This is in lie of a uh a blindfold.

[00:02:22]>> Yeah.

[00:02:22]>> You understand?

[00:02:23]>> I understand.

[00:02:23]>> Okay. And I can't I can't I can't see through this. Okay. Here we go.

[00:02:26]Everybody ready?

[00:02:35]>> I want to point out.

[00:02:36]>> No. Get away from me. Get the out of here.

[00:02:45]>> Jay, you're you're on DVDs right now if that matters.

[00:02:50]I kind of want a VHS.

[00:02:57]Oh god, I found something.

[00:03:00]I don't know.

[00:03:03]I I kept my I don't know if I should go with it. This came to me. This is like playing with a Ouija board.

[00:03:10]>> All right, I got it.

[00:03:13]>> I don't know. I'm scared to look.

[00:03:21]>> You look at that guy's face, though. You [ __ ] [ __ ] >> What is the >> It's some kind I'm assuming it's some kind of time travel Bible adventure.

[00:03:31]>> Josh Walker faces a tough choice. Can he take the rap for something he didn't do or tell the truth and risk getting his dad fired? If only someone could tell him what to do. And maybe someone can.

[00:03:42]Someone who can see into the future.

[00:03:45]But but Josh and his friends get a horrifying surprise when they use Josh's time machine to bring the prophet Daniel into the present time. A lion appears along with Daniel and escapes to terrorize the city.

[00:03:59]>> What? As kids try to avert disaster, they learn that the prophet isn't a fortune teller and that faith in God can turn into problems problems turn problems into bigger victories. It's only 60 minutes.

[00:04:15]>> The spotlight episode.

[00:04:17]>> Okay. Present time.

[00:04:26]>> It is the year 2074.

[00:04:28]An old man carefully places the finishing touches on a powerful invention.

[00:04:32]>> I believe you have something of interest to turn over to us.

[00:04:35]>> Is that Kevin Neil? Is that the disc?

[00:04:38]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:39]>> If you do have it, your work here seems to be over. Look at this production value.

[00:04:50]>> Is this like a fake like previously on?

[00:04:52]I mean, it might be.

[00:04:53]>> I'm assuming it's a series of videos and it's real previously on Uh oh. '90s kid.

[00:05:00]>> Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

[00:05:08]Oh, he looked like he's on on drugs.

[00:05:10]>> Now life is about to get a little bit more interesting.

[00:05:15]You found porn.

[00:05:19]What is his life will never be the same?

[00:05:23]>> Well, the cavalcade of failure continues. And after that latest disaster and a desperate attempt to salvage this episode, now I will make a blind pick in a a shocking readjustment to the rules where we definitely stick the one movie. Thank you everybody.

[00:05:39]>> Why did you call this the shroud of failure?

[00:05:41]>> The shroud of failure.

[00:05:42]>> Here we go. Here we go.

[00:05:45]>> I'm blind. I'm blind. Okay.

[00:05:49]>> NO.

[00:05:56]OH, I've got something. What?

[00:06:02]>> That's ironic.

[00:06:07]>> Sir Sean Conry, guardian of the islands.

[00:06:13]>> That can't be true.

[00:06:17]>> The swamp.

[00:06:21]>> You and I are a team old goat.

[00:06:24]And listen, you can sleep in the doggy basket if you like it.

[00:06:30]Oh, it's no use.

[00:06:32]We need Perney Falls water.

[00:06:35]>> What? What?

[00:06:36]>> What?

[00:06:37]>> Gordon has been out for some time now.

[00:06:40]Are you sure he's only fainted?

[00:06:42]>> I But he needs to wake up now.

[00:06:47]>> Otherwise, he might not wake up at all.

[00:06:49]>> Why did he just stay on the boat? I'll get your >> Why did he grab that rope?

[00:06:55]>> Cuz they were by a Russian sub.

[00:06:58]>> What about his friends?

[00:06:59]>> [ __ ] those ladies.

[00:07:00]>> They're not his friends.

[00:07:01]>> What about that beaver?

[00:07:03]>> What about the beaver?

[00:07:04]>> What about the beaver?

[00:07:05]>> Where is the beaver?

[00:07:06]>> The beaver's with the ladies on the boat.

[00:07:08]>> Well, [ __ ] them.

[00:07:11]>> What?

[00:07:13]Uh what >> was he dancing seductively for him? What is this?

[00:07:33]So, what do you guys want to talk about?

[00:07:36]>> Well, this started as a Zarda Spotlight episode, which quickly fell apart.

[00:07:42]>> Yeah.

[00:07:50]1512 brutals exterminated.

[00:07:57]Took a woman in his name.

[00:08:00]>> Oh.

[00:08:02]>> Oh, he's a rapist.

[00:08:04]Well, that's not good.

[00:08:06]>> That didn't age well.

[00:08:09]>> Neither did Sean Connory. He's only 24 here.

[00:08:14]>> He He made up for it later in life.

[00:08:16]>> Sure.

[00:08:17]>> So, here's the thing on that. Jay and I both have seen Zardas. It has been a long time since we've watched Zardas.

[00:08:23]>> Probably 20 years.

[00:08:24]>> It's a very weird interesting sci-fi future dystopian. I don't know what you call it.

[00:08:32]>> A famous epic flop.

[00:08:34]>> A very big flop. Um there is a floating skull u um head.

[00:08:40]>> Head.

[00:08:40]>> Yeah.

[00:08:41]>> Um that looks like Zeus. It's made of stone and it barfs out guns and ammo to weird guys that run around and shoot people. And then there's like this enlightened like society of people that are immortal. And Sean Connory is like one of the weird uh outlanders they call them. Yeah. You he wears a red diaper.

[00:08:59]>> I mean it's like it's just like a bizarre like >> it's very 70s and it's very goofy >> and it's >> but it's pretty interesting in a way where we're like we can't do this on Best of the Worsts. Maybe we'll rev uh revisit it on a a review in at some point in the future.

[00:09:16]>> Kill it. May.

[00:09:17]>> No.

[00:09:20]May for our love.

[00:09:24]>> Consuela.

[00:09:25]>> Don't. I will invoke a community vote.

[00:09:28]The community will follow my intuition.

[00:09:30]Then I will go to the vortex.

[00:09:34]>> We're going to pivot.

[00:09:35]>> And what do we pivot to, Rich? Whose idea was this?

[00:09:39]>> This was your idea.

[00:09:41]to blindly pick a tape on the shelf.

[00:09:44]>> What's the prophet going to do?

[00:09:46]>> The solver of mysteries.

[00:09:48]Prophet Daniel, aren't you paying attention?

[00:09:50]>> He's just going to solve the mystery >> of uh Oh, yeah. I guess there is no mystery.

[00:09:57]>> Oh, no. This supercomput. It's a time travel device, remember?

[00:10:01]>> Okay. Okay.

[00:10:02]>> I love a challenge.

[00:10:05]I I I love when we just pull something off the shelf. And your challenge was, yeah, >> we're going to blindly pick one movie.

[00:10:14]One movie. And no matter how bad it is, just as a test of our our talents, as you know, what we do here on Best and the Worst, we're going to stick to that one movie no matter what. And we're going to make the episode work.

[00:10:26]We're sitting here with three movies on.

[00:10:28]>> Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what happened. Something happened.

[00:10:31]>> Well, Zardos doesn't count. We're sitting here with two.

[00:10:33]>> We're sitting here with two movies, >> right? Yeah. We're not really talking about Zardos other than what we just said. We're talking about present time the lost prophet and uh uh Billy, Uncle Billy, >> Guardian of the Highlands, aka Sir Billy. I think it's mostly known as Sir Billy.

[00:10:51]>> Okay.

[00:10:52]>> But that was the weird thing is that Yeah. Rich, you blind picked or no, Mike, you blind picked Present Time and then Rich, you blind picked >> uh another Shan Connory film, his last film.

[00:11:05]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have a serious situation on her hand, son. Call Vicki on your what do you call it? The cellula.

[00:11:14]>> Ask her to round up the villagers in the square. And uh we'll we'll take it from there. Okay.

[00:11:22]>> Okay.

[00:11:23]>> Jump in. You can ride with us.

[00:11:29]>> Uh let's start with present time.

[00:11:32]The lost prophet. Rich. Uh there's a there's a a >> well um uh >> I'll talk about it.

[00:11:47]>> Uh well this is volume three.

[00:11:49]>> Yeah. So so this this is called present time the lost prophet. Now present time according to IMDb is a three episode series.

[00:11:58]>> They clearly intended to make more.

[00:12:00]Yeah, they they're this is the third in a in a sequence of of hour-long Christian themed adventure films for children.

[00:12:09]>> This is near the beginning of a a epic sci-fi Jesus propaganda series.

[00:12:16]>> That that didn't go past episode 3 apparently.

[00:12:18]>> No. And the way it ended was very intriguing and I would have liked to seen where the series goes.

[00:12:22]>> I know. I know.

[00:12:23]>> But they never finished it.

[00:12:24]>> No. Um >> we're never going to we're never going to get to Jesus in the time machine.

[00:12:28]We're never going to get there. Yeah.

[00:12:30]>> Oh, what a relief.

[00:12:32]>> That's like the ending of the uh the '8s Masters of the Universe movie when uh he pops out of the water at the end and says, "I'll be back." And you're like, "Oh, I can't wait for that."

[00:12:41]>> Yeah. Franklin Skeletor.

[00:12:43]>> Yeah. Skeletor pops out of the water after the credits.

[00:12:46]>> Promising more adventures to come and it didn't happen.

[00:12:49]>> But it doesn't look like it's >> Who's that?

[00:12:54]>> Help me Obian.

[00:12:56]>> Hello, Josh.

[00:12:57]>> Oh god. As I record this message, it is the year 20074.

[00:13:05]I am you, Josh.

[00:13:07]>> Oh my god.

[00:13:08]>> I know this comes as something of a shock, but I need you to listen very carefully.

[00:13:14]>> How are you? How are you, me? I died of a drug overdose. 22.

[00:13:18]>> Are in great danger.

[00:13:25]>> Oh my god. season 3 two in production.

[00:13:29]They're still working on it.

[00:13:36]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:13:38]>> The ending of this was very exciting. We get the little hologram. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. And then it's this elderly man.

[00:13:44]And then we realize the elderly man is the lead of the series.

[00:13:48]>> Joshua, Emily, and Caleb.

[00:13:51]>> Yes. And Joshua's dad, who kind of looked like uh Bob Saget, is a is a engineer uh architect uh who and him and Caleb's father are >> who's also his husband.

[00:14:06]>> They may be husbands cuz we never see their wives and they're working on their blueprints in the kitchen. Uh we we're not sure >> domestic.

[00:14:15]>> After our last job fell through, we can't afford to lose this one.

[00:14:19]Are they a gay couple of this?

[00:14:21]>> I don't know. I don't >> My two dads.

[00:14:23]>> Yeah.

[00:14:23]>> I don't know why they're working in the kitchen on >> cuz that's the set that they had.

[00:14:29]>> I think it means they're working late.

[00:14:31]I'm assuming they're just co-workers that happen they happen to be friends and their sons are friends too and they're working on the designs for a museum also known as a museum.

[00:14:42]>> M.

[00:14:42]>> I am very distressed at how slowly things are proceeding with my museum project.

[00:14:49]Museum >> by the the rich wealthy uh typical villain character. The the rich guy and his rich son who >> [ __ ] [ __ ] boy.

[00:15:01]>> He's got a little shitty son.

[00:15:03]>> You know what your problem is, Josh? You worry too much.

[00:15:07]>> What?

[00:15:10]>> Yeah. See, I like this rich kid. Good.

[00:15:15]>> He's smart.

[00:15:17]And then a magic time traveling computer brings about the prophet Daniel and a lion from biblical times.

[00:15:25]>> You forgot about the drill bit.

[00:15:28]>> I already busted one drill bit this month. Mr. Pinchon finds out about this one. He'll think I've done it again.

[00:15:33]>> Let's talk about the drill bit.

[00:15:36]>> And who do you think Mr. Pinchon's going to believe? Me or the guy who's already busted a drill bit? They need to invent a new type of computer to communicate with the time machine that appeared in their living room.

[00:15:47]>> Yes.

[00:15:48]>> And so he's doing that in a shop class.

[00:15:51]>> Yes. When >> with no lights in there with no lights.

[00:15:54]>> A drill and a drill bit.

[00:15:55]>> And because there's not enough lights, when the bullet comes in to start randomly drilling holes in his skateboard, he breaks the drill bit and blames our hero.

[00:16:04]>> Yeah.

[00:16:04]>> Well, I thought the hero Joshua had broken a previously >> That was in episode one or two. We haven't seen it, >> especially after I broke that.

[00:16:14]>> Anyway, sure, nice of you to help.

[00:16:16]>> So, there's a lot of drill bit breaking going on in this series. Okay.

[00:16:20]>> And they're very expensive in this universe, apparently. Because everyone's very concerned.

[00:16:25]>> School has limited budget.

[00:16:26]>> What are we going to do about this drill bit? We got to deal with this drill bit situation.

[00:16:29]>> Right. Right.

[00:16:31]>> You really want your dad to lose his job because of you? You really that selfish?

[00:16:35]>> I'm into this plot. I I can't believe they're going to ruin it with Jesus.

[00:16:40]>> Two drill bits in one month.

[00:16:43]>> Two drill bits.

[00:16:45]>> I thought I could trust you.

[00:16:46]>> This takes place in a universe where nobody has lights. Why is everything so dark?

[00:16:53]>> Cuz they haven't found Jesus yet.

[00:16:54]>> It's moody.

[00:16:58]Uh uh but the drill bit uh the didn't provide any kind of plot angle other than like the tell tell the truth at the end, right?

[00:17:09]>> Yeah.

[00:17:10]>> Uh >> it came back around to that because Yeah, that was what kicked off like, oh my this little kid is an [ __ ] His dad is my my dad's boss.

[00:17:18]>> Mhm. Uh, and my dad might be getting fired. So, we're going to use our magical time machine laptop to bring the prophet Daniel into our time to let me know if my dad is going to get fired.

[00:17:35]>> With his prophecy powers, with his prophecy powers.

[00:17:38]>> Bring a prophet back from the past into the present to predict the future for you. That way, you'll know what choice you should make.

[00:17:44]>> He can't do anything about the dad getting fired. No, >> he can just tell him if his dad is going to get fired, which he would find out eventually. Anyway, >> how did the the Well, the the magic laptop got there from the future in a previous installment.

[00:18:01]>> Probably I'm going to guess it's in volume one or two.

[00:18:05]>> I may not know why the machine was sent to me, but I have a pretty good idea it wasn't so I could conjure up my own personal profit.

[00:18:11]>> Uh, but they need an adapter. Emily the hacker, a girl that neither of the two boys are trying to bang. As I said, they're of they're of that age. They they appear to be of that age where most boys >> This is a Christian film wipe.

[00:18:27]>> I know, but I'm just I'm just speaking realistically. Most boys want to go out and try to try to score Miller Light beer from the local uh 7-Eleven.

[00:18:36]>> Mhm.

[00:18:37]>> And then like kind of maybe smoke a little something behind the 7-Eleven and maybe try to to I'm just going to say it maybe try to the dumpster.

[00:18:48]>> I mean, that would have been a turn if they they uh brought forth the prophet Daniel. Yeah, >> maybe just an adult that can buy us beer.

[00:18:56]>> Yes.

[00:18:58]What can I do to help?

[00:18:59]>> Well, uh, >> maybe that's the real reason they got Daniel. So, so they could ask him. They didn't care about the drill bit. It's like, are we going to get to bang Emily?

[00:19:08]>> Is that going to happen? And if not her, who and when?

[00:19:12]>> Right, right, right, right. When are we going to lose our Vcards, >> Daniel?

[00:19:17]>> And he said, when you're 23 to each other.

[00:19:20]>> He said, I can help you with that.

[00:19:23]>> Oh.

[00:19:27]What could I do to help?

[00:19:29]>> Well, uh, you can >> No, but really they want to know.

[00:19:35]They're so worried about their dads.

[00:19:37]Remember Joshua has a a nightmare where him and his dad and >> other dad >> and Caleb and his dad are all eating out of a dumpster because they're homeless.

[00:19:48]>> Yes. Um, and because they lost this one job, they they become homeless, which I guess is kind of child thinking.

[00:19:56]>> Not a very uh uh tasteful uh depiction of the homeless in this film. The unhoused, >> I would say. The unhoused are presented in a very negative light in this production.

[00:20:10]>> I know. They were they were doing so little drugs. It's offensive. It was so [ __ ] offensive.

[00:20:17]Homeless don't just scrge around for food. They look for crack.

[00:20:23]>> These Christians don't know anything.

[00:20:27]>> Okay. What's What happened?

[00:20:29]>> The lion. They get a lion, too.

[00:20:31]>> They accidentally uh bring a lion along with the prophet Daniel.

[00:20:36]>> I don't know. I entered the right command.

[00:20:38]>> The lion.

[00:20:39]>> You got to go get the lion.

[00:20:40]>> Oh, yeah. They forgot about the lion.

[00:20:45]Let me see that. I don't know what you do.

[00:20:50]>> Come on, Caleb.

[00:20:52]We better quit.

[00:20:52]>> Don't break it. You'll [ __ ] up the Bible.

[00:20:57]>> But they got a lion. I'm going to say the production value on this video is pretty good. They got a lion. The lighting is sometimes too dark, but there is lighting. It's It's presented in a way where there's like >> It's kind of moody.

[00:21:11]>> Yeah, it's moody. It doesn't look like a like a cheap like '90s sitcom. It has sort of like a cinematic quality, I guess you'd say, >> especially after I broke that.

[00:21:20]>> Anyway, sure. Nice to help.

[00:21:22]>> I haven't yet.

[00:21:23]>> This is shop class and it's like >> the size of a small guest bedroom.

[00:21:28]>> Who's the DP on this Yannis Kaminsky?

[00:21:31]>> Stay away from the drill press.

[00:21:32]>> Yes, sir. Mr. Pinch, >> this kid's terrible. Then again, maybe conjuring up my own personal profit isn't such a bad idea after all.

[00:21:43]>> You died of a drug overdose. J, >> he kind of seems like he's depressed.

[00:21:46]>> Let's look it up. That's This is nonzero chance he did.

[00:21:49]>> I couldn't find it on IMDb.

[00:21:51]>> Oh, really?

[00:21:52]>> I'll look later, but >> it doesn't look like uh Do you remember Corny, the weird alien that gets molested? It doesn't look like that video.

[00:21:59]>> I do. I do remember Corny. Cork >> Corky.

[00:22:02]>> Corky.

[00:22:02]>> Corky. No. Corny.

[00:22:04]>> It was corny. Yeah.

[00:22:05]>> Corny. Yeah. Quirky.

[00:22:06]>> Either way, he got fingered by an adult and that didn't happen in this film.

[00:22:09]>> Quirk is the guy from Life Goes On.

[00:22:11]>> I want to do what I want to do.

[00:22:14]>> You remember that?

[00:22:15]>> Yeah.

[00:22:15]>> Yes.

[00:22:17]>> He was gay.

[00:22:20]>> Yeah. I'm just saying that's that's the one and true Corki.

[00:22:24]>> Yeah.

[00:22:24]>> Yeah. Also, you had a doll called Corki or a boy when you were a high school boy. You had a doll called Corki. I still had the doll when I was a high school boy. I got the doll when I was significantly younger.

[00:22:38]>> Oh, okay. That's your story this week.

[00:22:41]>> And then we bought a new Corki >> for a skit for a Best of the Worst ending and then that Corky vanished. We don't know what happened.

[00:22:47]>> We literally have no idea what happened to that Corky.

[00:22:50]>> Hey, what are you doing?

[00:22:58]You want this?

[00:23:00]Ow. Ow.

[00:23:09]>> I'd go skinny dipping in the Arctic before I'd let my son apologize.

[00:23:13]>> He's doing the right thing.

[00:23:14]>> Especially if it meant covering up for your son here.

[00:23:17]>> Very well. You leave me no choice.

[00:23:20]>> Doctor, you're fired.

[00:23:24]>> I had a hunch you'd be saying that.

[00:23:26]Come on, Josh.

[00:23:29]If you weren't near shop class that day, how come you knew about my computer adapter? Um, I I >> answer the question.

[00:23:37]>> I just guessed. Okay.

[00:23:44]>> What?

[00:23:48]>> It's a drought.

[00:23:50]>> It's about the principal, Rich.

[00:23:52]>> I don't know what he's talking about.

[00:23:54]>> He's lying to his father. dead.

[00:23:58]>> Just back hands up.

[00:23:59]>> Say something.

[00:24:02]>> Please excuse us.

[00:24:04]>> Take start taking off the belt.

[00:24:06]>> Take the belt off.

[00:24:06]>> Take the belt off.

[00:24:07]>> He opens his drawer. There's a gun in there.

[00:24:10]>> Take the belt off as they're leaving the door. Please.

[00:24:16]>> You're dead.

[00:24:28]So the moral of this is just like to tell the truth. Is that >> is that as simple as that?

[00:24:32]>> Yeah.

[00:24:32]>> Yeah.

[00:24:33]>> Oh, that's pretty lame.

[00:24:34]>> All I know is we were >> That's why there was only three episodes. Mike, >> we were promised a lion going crazy in the city and that didn't really happen.

[00:24:45]>> Oh lord.

[00:24:47]>> Got through the basement window.

[00:24:49]>> This is worse than my nightmare. Come on. Wait. I thought you were right.

[00:24:53]>> The basement window is large enough for a lion. Yes, >> they did not go full roar.

[00:25:01]>> No, >> they went partial roar.

[00:25:39]It's a real lion. I'll give them credit.

[00:25:41]But at no point are any of the kids in the scene with lion at the same time.

[00:25:44]>> Yeah. There's no actual danger.

[00:25:46]>> Yeah.

[00:25:47]>> None of these kids got their [ __ ] scalp ripped off. It's >> probably the smart choice. I'm going to be honest. Well, I mean, not for us.

[00:25:55]>> I mean, it would have been nice if like the prophet Daniel had to, you know, like tame the lion with the power of the Lord or something to save like school bus crashed and bunch of kids were lying on the ground injured and the lion was like and drooling and >> the prophet Daniel beams down and ah with the power of the Lord I command the lion. You know, he does something.

[00:26:19]>> Sure. Sure. in the story other than >> nothing.

[00:26:24]>> Does this mean you want me to stay?

[00:26:26]>> I mean, just a suggestion.

[00:26:29]People that made this video.

[00:26:32]>> That sucks.

[00:26:33]>> You haven't put out volume 4 yet.

[00:26:34]There's still time to course correct.

[00:26:36]>> Yeah, >> we can buy the rights and finish the series. We can do this.

[00:26:39]>> Yeah, we'll get these actors back. We'll do a uh legacy sequel.

[00:26:43]>> What's happened to Joshua in the last 30 years?

[00:26:46]>> Now, now he looks like the elderly version of him that's at the end of the video. Now he really is >> homeless and looking for crack.

[00:26:52]>> Him and Caleb and Emily are all all living in a dumpster.

[00:26:56]>> In that actual dumpster that's in the video. A weird uh coincidence. I do want to point out there's one actor, the the uh uh uh David is beating a piñata and the dad is like, "Hey, that's my kid's pinñata." And I'm pretty sure that dad was in the classic film Lost in Dinosaur World featured on a previous Best of the Worst.

[00:27:21]>> Take that, you How disheartening. It's discouraging to see that even in this age of enlightenment scourge.

[00:27:34]>> What is going on here? And who are you?

[00:27:36]>> He's our friend, Daddy. His name is >> I am Daniel of Babylon. These young soldiers and I were just laying waste to this.

[00:27:43]>> Well, listen up here, Daniel. You better get out of here. I'm going to lay waste to you.

[00:27:47]>> Remember that Lost in Dinosaur World video?

[00:27:50]>> Do we watch forever ago? I think that guy was in it.

[00:27:53]>> Only you would know.

[00:27:54]>> I'm pretty sure. If I'm wrong, we'll cut this. If I'm right, we'll show them right here.

[00:27:58]>> Well, I'm assuming like some of the actors in this were local actors or whatever. It looked like California. So, yeah. Yes. And and then like as as time went on, no one cared to add anything to IMDb. Like literally no one.

[00:28:18]>> I mean, you would try to get this off of your IMDb if possible.

[00:28:21]>> I I don't know. I mean, if this was the the height of your career at present time is your highest point as an actor.

[00:28:28]>> Even the lion killed himself and that's pretty bad. But we we all know Joshua died. you know, he he had a he he turned to fentinel and and died.

[00:28:39]And Emily is Emily's probably like a housewife somewhere.

[00:28:44]>> And then Caleb tried to be an actor and he went to Nickelodeon and things didn't work out well there either.

[00:28:50]>> And uh Daniel, you know, they found they found some on his own magic.

[00:28:58]>> Oh, hey, come on. We know who these people are that make these kind of movies.

[00:29:06]Rich, >> it's a safe bet. Anyone involved in creating children's programming is a pervert.

[00:29:13]>> I'm joking.

[00:29:16]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:29:17]>> I'm joking.

[00:29:18]>> Of course, this is all for humorous sake. This is all for >> There are no perverts involved in children's programming.

[00:29:24]>> No, >> we're just making goofs.

[00:29:26]>> All right, folks. Show's over.

[00:29:28]>> Do we have anything else to say about present time? Do we have any more filthy jokes to make about children being molested?

[00:29:35]>> That's all you can do with something like this. I mean, the floor is open, gentlemen.

[00:29:40]Take take a swing. Whatever you got.

[00:29:49]>> No.

[00:29:49]>> You said the same thing at Epstein Island.

[00:30:01]Tim Megan's gonna say anything.

[00:30:19]>> Well, our last film of the day was picked by Rich while he had a blanket over his his head. Right, Rich?

[00:30:29]>> Yes. I can't be blamed. I had a blanket over my head.

[00:30:32]>> Right. And uh what did you pick? I mean, what what is this called?

[00:30:35]>> Guardians of the Highland andor Sir Billy. I think it's mostly known as Sir Billy.

[00:30:42]>> Well, there's no one quite like you in this hood, Saudi Village.

[00:30:48]>> I think that's like what it's more commonly known as. And it's noteworthy because it is Shan Connory's last acting performance.

[00:30:57]He did this in 2012. He didn't die till 2020, which means he did this and said, "You know what? It's not getting any better. I'm out. I'm done."

[00:31:08]>> She's a frisky thing, that one.

[00:31:11]>> You're still looking good, old boy.

[00:31:14]Still looking great.

[00:31:16]>> I'm You're the man, Billy.

[00:31:25]>> He's wearing the Kill Bill outfit.

[00:31:28]It's the bride >> in >> you got to kill Bill and not Bruce Lee.

[00:31:34]Well, yeah.

[00:31:36]>> Oh, so this is weird. This is 2013 copyright. This is 2014 copyright.

[00:31:42]>> Oh, >> so this this is I don't know. Okay, so the one that says Guardians of the Highlands.

[00:31:48]>> Guardian of the Highlands.

[00:31:49]>> Guardian of the Highlands says >> that's Sir Billy. He's the guardian.

[00:31:52]>> Sure. Yeah. Um, when the last beaver in Scotland's life is in danger life. I guess he is the last beaver in Scotland's >> when the last beaver in Scotland's.

[00:32:10]>> So when they say life, they're referring to the beaver and not Scotland, >> right? Yes. The last beaver in Scotland is is the no.

[00:32:16]>> Oh, it's possessive life. It's it's a the whole thing's the whole line is when the last beaver in Scotland's life uh is in danger, Sir Billy and his animal friends go on a roller coaster adventure in a race to save Bessie Buu the Beaver.

[00:32:35]>> That's news to me that the beaver has a name. A raging river, a Russian submarine, and an obsessive animal control officer threatened to foil Sir Billy's attempts to save Bessie. But with the help of the whole town, Sir Billy just might save the day and prove he really is the guardian of the Highlands. Now, Sir Billy, an aging skateboarding veterinarian.

[00:33:04]>> Sir Billy. Sir Billy's a veterinarian.

[00:33:07]>> Yeah, he does. He does animal medical stuff on the toes.

[00:33:10]>> He seems to like animals.

[00:33:12]>> He dipped a cow into a sauna.

[00:33:14]>> Oh, sure.

[00:33:14]>> Into a jacuzzi.

[00:33:15]>> I didn't realize that was common for vets, but >> sure. A cows need jacuzzi's.

[00:33:19]>> All right.

[00:33:20]>> He got stiff muscles.

[00:33:21]>> He exercised at first. Made sure it was getting its exercise.

[00:33:24]>> Mhm.

[00:33:24]>> Had a treadmill.

[00:33:26]>> Um, he cerebell goes above the law. I'm sorry.

[00:33:31]above and above and beyond the call of duty. Fighting villainous policemen and powerful layers in a battle to save an illegal fugitive.

[00:33:44]Bessie Buu the Beaver.

[00:33:46]>> Okay. Heartwarming and action-packed family movie where thrilling car chases, heroic skydiving, daring stunts from this oxygenarian fueled encounters with a hostile submarine. Will keep you on the edge of your seat. Voiced by Sir Shan Connory.

[00:34:05]>> No mention. No mention at all of Simon Peg.

[00:34:07]>> No mention. Simon Peg plays um the goat.

[00:34:11]Bill, Sir Billy's pet goat. Why, Patty?

[00:34:16]It's unusual to see you this far out of town. What's up?

[00:34:20]>> You call her fatty?

[00:34:21]>> Oh god, Billy. Another yank descending upon Katess. How will we cope?

[00:34:28]>> That's Simon Peg.

[00:34:30]>> I'm going to call him out on it.

[00:34:32]>> No, don't look it up. He They went uncredited or he used the >> We're just going to say it's him.

[00:34:38]>> And Chris Rock plays a guy at the end of the film.

[00:34:41]>> He plays Chris Rock.

[00:34:42]>> He plays Chris Rock. Anyone see that beaver?

[00:34:45]>> I've been dying to ask if she was the one that stole my balls.

[00:34:48]>> Mhm.

[00:34:49]>> Who's this?

[00:34:50]>> I kept hitting Chris Rock, >> but I never found any in that bunker.

[00:34:55]>> NOW, WHERE IS SHE?

[00:34:56]>> It does kind of sound like Chris Rock.

[00:34:58]>> Yeah.

[00:34:58]>> So, Simon Pegg and Chris Rock both said, "Don't credit us in this film or we'll sue."

[00:35:03]>> Yeah.

[00:35:04]>> Uh, >> presumably.

[00:35:05]>> Allegedly.

[00:35:06]>> Allegedly.

[00:35:07]>> Allegedly.

[00:35:07]>> Alleged by us and only us.

[00:35:09]>> That's not a crime. You don't have to say allegedly. or that we're joking.

[00:35:13]>> It's a crime. If you say that somebody is in Sir Billy and they're not, they're going to sue us over a stinking smelly beaver.

[00:35:21]>> Billy, where is he?

[00:35:23]>> It's all for you.

[00:35:27]>> Been consistently crying for 5 years.

[00:35:31]>> Is my mommy?

[00:35:33]>> Your mommy's dead. Oh, no. She's not crippled.

[00:35:37]So apparently this was Scotland's attempt to make a Pixar feature film.

[00:35:42]>> It's this was Scotland's attempt to make Food Fight.

[00:35:46]>> Jay, you know something about this?

[00:35:48]>> I I know it's it's Scotland's first uh animated film >> and last presumably last.

[00:35:53]>> Yeah.

[00:35:55]>> Nice. But >> is this CGI or is this real Scottish people?

[00:36:01]>> Can you keep me five?

[00:36:03]>> I can't tell anymore.

[00:36:05]Okay.

[00:36:06]>> Why are all these people so nice? Crap place to live. Full of eccentric, dodgy folk with foreign tongues and all that.

[00:36:14]>> I should have been a detective inspector by now.

[00:36:17]>> Is this a kids film?

[00:36:18]>> Don't chase the mysterious smelly.

[00:36:20]>> Is it a documentary?

[00:36:23]>> They they dumped all their resources into Sir Billy. And then >> Rich Rich, you're the only person at this table except for maybe the crate. I don't know. He hasn't said much. But >> you have been to Scotland. Yes.

[00:36:35]>> And um uh did you see any signs of any animated films?

[00:36:40]>> I did not see any signs of animated films. I did not see a single beaver.

[00:36:44]>> Any any signs that say no beavers?

[00:36:46]>> Not that I recall.

[00:36:48]>> I did see cows or coups as they call them.

[00:36:52]>> Highland coups.

[00:36:53]>> Oh. Were they in the jacuzzi?

[00:36:55]>> No, there were no jacuzzi. They're chilling out on the side of the road.

[00:36:58]Hills.

[00:36:59]>> Oh, and the Loch Ness monster.

[00:37:01]>> Oh, you saw the Loch Ness monster. Okay.

[00:37:04]Interesting.

[00:37:04]>> No mention of the Loch Lochness monster in this. Not even a joke.

[00:37:07]>> It's too classy. It was too classy for that, I guess.

[00:37:11]>> Or are they?

[00:37:12]>> Scotland is more than just the Loch Ness monster. Okay.

[00:37:15]>> No jokes about leprechauns either.

[00:37:21]That's Ireland.

[00:37:23]>> Whatever.

[00:37:27]Uh there's lots of animals in peril.

[00:37:30]>> Yeah, >> there's lots of crying. It's not a [ __ ] a really [ __ ] sad beaver.

[00:37:36]That that beaver has been crying non-stop for five years.

[00:37:39]>> Well, it's Well, okay, here's where I say, let's let's you guys always go off on a tangent. Start talking about the things that are in the film. We got to we got to tell people why beavers are crying other than they were [ __ ] by Shan Connory.

[00:37:53]>> Why wouldn't be crying?

[00:37:55]>> Those are different beavers that were crying. Oh, sure.

[00:37:57]>> They got [ __ ] by Shan Connory. the Okay, so this this movie, it's a very weird movie. It has a very weird story um for Scottish Scotland's first animated CGI film.

[00:38:14]>> Well, it's a weird story for a kids film.

[00:38:16]>> It's just weird all around and it doesn't makes any I mean, it makes sense, but it just the choices are all weird >> until it doesn't.

[00:38:22]>> Yeah, many things don't make sense. The general idea makes sense. old old man.

[00:38:27]Uh >> they're going to reintroduce beavers into Scotland, but they changed their mind at the last minute. So, they're going to ship them all the way to Norway, but there's a truck accident.

[00:38:36]Yeah.

[00:38:37]>> And one of the beavers gets left behind.

[00:38:38]>> Yeah. I don't think the plan was to reintroduce them. They say that the those >> they said they went extinct here a while back. Yeah.

[00:38:45]>> Those damn European the EU that damn EU.

[00:38:48]>> Oh, is that what >> wants to reintroduce them to our highlands and we don't like that.

[00:38:52]>> Hi, Bob. They've been extinct in Scotland for over 400 years now. Just cuz the rest of those mad Europeans decided to reintroduce stuff punny little creatures doesn't mean we have to have them roving about the Highlands now, does it?

[00:39:09]>> Oh, come on. Uh, McTavish, they're not all bad. I've eaten the meat from their tail and their paws, and I must tell you. Yes.

[00:39:17]>> Is this about beavers?

[00:39:21]The point is Scotland as as Scotland didn't want the beavers in there. So they hired these two policemen to round up the beavers >> and a drunken truck driver >> and a drunken truck. A no, a fatty.

[00:39:33]>> He crashed a trunk be he crashed a truck because he was trying to reach the Snickers bar on the floor. He was so hungry for that Snickers bar. He crashed the trunk.

[00:39:43]>> Um he wasn't he wasn't drunk. He was fat.

[00:39:46]>> He could have been drunk. Uh, so they have they have three dozen beavers in crates. The truck crashes.

[00:39:54]>> Importantly, there's three particular beavers that are all related.

[00:39:58]>> Yeah, there are. Tell me. cuz they all they they're they're together and then they get thrown in the truck and then they get flung out of the truck and the the drunken truck driver or the cop or someone grabs two of them, >> but the little baby one that will not stop [ __ ] crying is left behind cuz he hides behind a rock or something.

[00:40:17]>> And so that policeman thinks he got them all. But that's always his his thing that's haunted him for 5 years. Did I get all those beavers? No, I missed one.

[00:40:27]And that that kind of like puts a puts a road bump in his whole career.

[00:40:32]>> There's been a Moby Dick in here.

[00:40:34]>> Yeah. Sure. Sure.

[00:40:36]>> Um and he cannot he won't get a pro. He doesn't get a promotion and he's like that's always haunted him. That's his white whale.

[00:40:43]>> Yes.

[00:40:43]>> And then >> and importantly that little baby beaver starts crying. I want my mom. I want my mom.

[00:40:49]>> And then we cut to 5 years later and the baby is still crying that I want my mom.

[00:40:54]>> But it's been adopted by a family of rabbits. Yes.

[00:40:57]>> Teach it to ride a a cut log down a >> a trench.

[00:41:04]>> That's what they do for fun, I guess.

[00:41:06]That's what the rabbits do for fun in Scotland.

[00:41:10]>> Which leads to a horrific accident.

[00:41:14]>> Come here, BABY.

[00:41:16]>> I'M COMING.

[00:41:18]>> Why is this so depressing?

[00:41:29]I didn't realize this was the the start of the entire plot of the film.

[00:41:32]>> It was.

[00:41:33]>> I thought it was just a fun little thing.

[00:41:35]>> No. No. Uh many rabbits and and beaver become in peril as they crash into the river.

[00:41:43]>> It's horrific. That is. And then the mom be the mom rabbit sinks to the bottom of the river and gets pulled by the current into a rock that crushes her spine and paralyzes her.

[00:42:06]>> Oh, what?

[00:42:13]And apparently, strangely, animals also have like clothing and a society of their own within this human society world. It's pretty strange.

[00:42:21]>> And they talk.

[00:42:22]>> Yes.

[00:42:22]>> Yeah. Which isn't established immediately. So, when they start talking, we're like, "Okay, there's talking animals in this movie." But then we cut to Sir Billy and he's got his goat friend who wears clothes and they're just like humans basically.

[00:42:35]>> I think they were talking in the truck, but it was like quiet.

[00:42:41]What are we doing?

[00:42:44]>> We're doing a Zarda spotlight episode doing >> um >> we're off the rails.

[00:42:51]>> We're analyzing the worlds that is set up in the film Sir Billy.

[00:42:56]>> Don't forget the duck.

[00:42:58]>> What duck?

[00:42:58]>> The duck with the airplane.

[00:43:02]>> Yep. Here I am again.

[00:43:06]>> What? What?

[00:43:06]>> And the pool. high lands of cat nest.

[00:43:13]Instead, I'm flying about following crazy goats and mad scotsmen in skirts.

[00:43:21]Huh? Huh?

[00:43:24]Anyway, my name is Victoria and I will be your captain, your stupidest first officer and uh oh yeah, fly engineer.

[00:43:37]Buckle up now. Autopilot is now in audio.

[00:43:41]>> I guess >> that talks to us directly.

[00:43:44]>> Oh god.

[00:43:44]>> The fourth wall breaking duck.

[00:43:46]>> Yeah.

[00:43:48]>> And a bike lane.

[00:43:50]>> Yes. The duck from Miami. Uh who has there's a couple American accents in this. The duck from Miami. And then there's some tourists. I think >> there's the ladies with the tits. There there's there's a really weird proclivity towards bouncing breasts and cleavage in this that seems a little out of place.

[00:44:11]I guess that's the best way to to describe it. I guess this is a kids film. I don't know.

[00:44:16]>> We get low angle shots where you're almost seeing up skirts. Uh at the end of the movie, Sir Billy's daughter is like, "Man, that other lady's got some amazing breasts."

[00:44:27]Oh, I'm so glad he's found a wee bit of happiness now. It's been long overdue.

[00:44:35]Even if she is a brazen lassie with a funny accent and I dare say an enviable chest.

[00:44:42]They don't make them like that over here now, do they?

[00:44:45]>> Why is this happening? Why are we talking about this?

[00:44:48]>> Well, then it turns into like a burlesque show at the end, but we're going to get to that. We see like Yeah, there's a there's a woman named Patty, and I I I think they kept calling her Fatty, but I'm not sure. Um, >> is that the shorter one?

[00:45:01]>> Yes, the shorter one with the big lips and the and the like the spiky dark brown hair. Yeah.

[00:45:06]>> And she's with like a blonde. And then >> Sir Billy pulls up and they help them with their luggage.

[00:45:13]>> I I think they're they were stranded. I don't know. But he's like, "Let me help you, miss." It's it's setting up later that they're going to hook up.

[00:45:22]>> Yeah.

[00:45:23]>> And then they leave, but then there's like uh German guy, remember German guy in the in the the car that says 69 on the side?

[00:45:32]>> Yep.

[00:45:32]>> Uh uh >> that goat's costume was skin tight.

[00:45:38]>> The goat had a costume. Um did the rabbits have tits?

[00:45:43]>> The rabbits I don't think they did have tits.

[00:45:45]>> They weren't sexualized.

[00:45:47]>> No, but there were beavers all over the film. The daughter was kind of sexualized.

[00:45:51]>> The daughter was Yeah. She was sort of like a like a bookworm nerdy kind of way, but but then she had her son who was uh Billy's grandson and he came to pick him up to school and the son got whisked a lot on the adventure but did nothing.

[00:46:05]Is is uncle Billy like a I don't like a Dr. Dittle kind of going on where I guess he's a veterinarian >> like love him and help him and he's there to help the animals. Well, then he finds out that there's this horrific accident on the water, so he gets involved with that.

[00:46:19]>> Yeah. He rallies the town's folk.

[00:46:21]>> Yeah.

[00:46:21]>> And because the the the imminent threat with the water sequence is that uh Oh.

[00:46:27]Well, the mo the mother bunny has broken her back underwater. And then the the the goat wearing the um the Bruce Lee bride >> Kill Bill/ill discovers the mom has broken her back and then Bill uh Billy and him work on that.

[00:46:45]>> We need you to wiggle your toe. It becomes Kill Bill.

[00:46:48]>> I want you to move your we toes just an itsybitsy wee tiny bit.

[00:46:55]>> Yeah, >> it's very strange. A lot of references in this.

[00:46:58]>> There are a lot of references mostly to Shan Connor. Sean Connory references, but the the the is it the baby bunny, >> the beaver and the the son rabbit of the mother rabbit, >> the monologue and the log.

[00:47:10]>> They're going to get chopped up in the new damn blades.

[00:47:12]>> Yes, there's a new dam that's being inaugurated. Remember, they have the balloons even. And the guy's like, "Oh, I can't turn off the turbines. They're going to get chopped up in the turbines."

[00:47:20]>> So, I'm making too much money.

[00:47:22]>> Yes. Yes. There's something about that.

[00:47:24]And that's the plot is that Billy and friends, animal friends, both animals and people have to rescue uh uh >> cute animals are going to be chopped up in propeller blades is the plot of the film.

[00:47:40]>> Yeah.

[00:47:48]>> Jesus, that's her baby.

[00:47:52]What? Why does she know what the >> You don't know how you >> No. No. Look, he's floating away.

[00:48:07]>> Now they got to save the goat. That's going to be another 45 minutes.

[00:48:18]>> God, >> we need all the help we can get.

[00:48:21]Can we talk about the animation for a minute here?

[00:48:23]>> Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:48:24]>> The animation is all over the place, but there were parts where I was very impressed with the texture of the water >> and the details on the backgrounds.

[00:48:33]>> It's all the the characters that suck.

[00:48:36]>> The like they're they're very like the goat. There's no texture to his fur.

[00:48:40]>> Yeah.

[00:48:40]>> Uh so it's it's very all over the place.

[00:48:43]I don't know.

[00:48:44]>> The the the faces of the characters look like 10 or 15 years earlier.

[00:48:49]>> Yeah. like like Toy Story 1 era mid90s worse than that.

[00:48:53]>> What you're saying is modeling and texture-wise, they're doing a decent job, but as far as just like a traditional animator who knows how to get emotion out of characters, we're we're lacking that.

[00:49:05]>> Oh no. What's wrong, Billy?

[00:49:09]Do you think she's broken something?

[00:49:12]>> Well, when a rabbit is truly scared, Gordy, fear elicits complete immobility.

[00:49:18]But I'm thinking that her hind legs might be paralyzed.

[00:49:23]>> Oh no. Does that not mean that she could have broken her back?

[00:49:27]>> Exactly that, son. If she can move her toes ever so slightly, there might be a chance of >> Well, now it's become Kill Bill.

[00:49:38]>> Wiggle your big toe.

[00:49:40]>> And it's doubled by the fact that Shan Connory has no idea what's going on.

[00:49:44]>> Yeah.

[00:49:45]>> He has no idea what >> No car. He's cashing a check. Yeah, he he doesn't understand any of these lines. It it almost seems like he's just reading them off of a piece of paper or something.

[00:49:54]>> Yeah. He's not like There was one particular part where it seemed like he needed to like have some gusto like what are you doing? Like what like you have >> you need a Christopher Lloyd in there.

[00:50:04]>> Yeah. You you got to really like have highs and lows of the voice over stuff, but he's just like what what are you doing? What are you doing?

[00:50:11]>> How dare you not care about rescuing the beaver? We've got to turn that damn thing off immediately.

[00:50:18]>> Yeah.

[00:50:18]>> When it started, he has like a voice over like a narration at the very beginning and it sounded like like a like a scratch track or something like to be replaced later.

[00:50:29]>> Yeah. I don't know if that's just just >> Are you doing that?

[00:50:37]>> No, I'm not doing that.

[00:50:42]It was only the other day. I was out having a little walk not far from here and I got to thinking about when I was just a boy.

[00:50:56]Everything used to be rare.

[00:50:58]>> This was recorded before he died.

[00:51:03]It might just be that uh Sean Connory is just like super old and that's the best he could do.

[00:51:09]>> You know, you don't want to assume that he was just phoning it in cuz he was an [ __ ] >> How dare they criticize my Sir Billy was my greatest accomplishment as an >> I poured my heart into that role. There can be only one Sir Billy.

[00:51:25]>> At At what point was Shan Connory cast?

[00:51:27]Like when did the when did the when did the references come into the script?

[00:51:31]>> Good question.

[00:51:32]>> I mean that is a lot of work animating all that stuff. The entire opening credit sequence is like a Bond homage.

[00:51:38]There's several Bond homages throughout the film. There's Indiana Jones reference. Um >> Hunt for Red October.

[00:51:46]>> Hunt for Redat October. Yeah.

[00:51:49]>> Like at some point just a Russian sub randomly shows up.

[00:51:52]>> Yeah. after the day has apparently been saved, >> which imperils everybody somehow.

[00:52:01]>> Well, you were very upset that the goat grabbed a rope >> randomly. And so >> I know the goat said the the the Russian sub comes up under their under their boat is posing no threat to them whatsoever. It's just kind of there minding it business.

[00:52:14]>> Wait, stop stop. The boat is there. We We'll get back to that. I'm going to let you finish.

[00:52:21]>> Okay.

[00:52:22]And the boat is there with like the the Patty and the blonde bimbo. The boat is there because the baby rabbit, I'm sorry, the baby beaver made it through the turbine, but and goat bungee jumped off of uh the the dam and caught the the baby beaver >> and then dropped him on the boat and then ended up on the boat himself. So the the I don't know if you want to call the baby beaver like like the mcguffin of the movie. The point the central plot is to save that baby beaver. Yes. And that baby beaver is on the boat. And then now the boat has been lifted up by a Russian sub. And everyone in town is like, "Oh my god, oh my god, the peril.

[00:53:12]The peril." And then the goat says, >> "I know what to do.

[00:53:19]>> I've got an idea.

[00:53:21]Drop the rope, Vicky.

[00:53:30]>> And then it grabs a rope that's dangling off of an airplane, gets sucked up into the air.

[00:53:52]What?

[00:53:53]What?

[00:53:56]What? Now, >> don't forget to hold on to the rope.

[00:54:00]>> Why do you have to grab the rope?

[00:54:02]>> I don't. Because Cuz this happens. But the movie's literally lost the plot.

[00:54:15]>> I've got you.

[00:54:19]He just wanted to save himself off the boat that he just wanted to get away from those obnoxious women.

[00:54:24]>> Falls and and he >> not not with the baby beaver.

[00:54:28]>> No, not with he doesn't say I'm going to bring the baby beaver with me.

[00:54:30]>> Just saves himself.

[00:54:32]>> HE JUST SAVES HIMSELF.

[00:54:32]>> I know what to do.

[00:54:34]>> But he doesn't get he gets out of there.

[00:54:36]>> He nearly [ __ ] dies.

[00:54:38]>> This is like the third animal in this movie to almost die. And they have to get the magical potion again.

[00:54:43]>> Says so long, suckers.

[00:54:46]I thought he was going to like tie the rope to the boat and then the plane was going to lift the boat off and the Russians were going to go get you later, whatever. But the Russians were in a threat.

[00:54:57]>> No, they're just chilling out, hanging out with everybody at the party. The duck had to just know that it had to go get this magical water. And we don't see that happen. We just see the duck fly back with the magical water.

[00:55:08]>> The goat almost dies because they caught him on one of those like firemen like Apparently that still broke his [ __ ] back.

[00:55:17]>> Okay. I was going to say, why didn't you just land on the dock with a thud?

[00:55:20]>> Why?

[00:55:21]>> That would have been too horrific.

[00:55:22]>> I was waiting for like the comical moment. They were all standing there with the trampoline, right? And I was waiting for the go to just like fall behind them >> next to it. Yeah.

[00:55:30]>> Yeah. That was like that's the comedic setup, but >> or or the goat grabs the the freaking beaver and saves the beaver and but as a result is horribly injured himself.

[00:55:42]>> That might have been nice.

[00:55:43]>> No. No. just randomly grabbed the rope after saying, "I know what to do and completely [ __ ] up."

[00:55:49]>> Yeah.

[00:55:49]>> Completely [ __ ] everything up.

[00:55:50]>> And then uh Billy comes up and he's like, "Oh, >> that's when the that's when the grandson did something. He grabbed the the the water, didn't he, that was thrown.

[00:55:59]>> So, oh, she's delivering the water.

[00:56:06]>> Where did she get the water?

[00:56:08]>> She went and flew away and got it in her airplane."

[00:56:11]How she knew that she needed to get it.

[00:56:13]I don't know.

[00:56:17]When >> another pitch thrown by.

[00:56:20]>> Where's the Russian submarine?

[00:56:22]>> Uhhuh.

[00:56:24]>> Where's the beaver?

[00:56:25]>> Yeah.

[00:56:25]>> He jumped on a thing and grabbed the water.

[00:56:28]>> Sure.

[00:56:28]>> Cuz the duck just carelessly threw it off the >> Yes. Yeah. But it was and it was set up that the grandson is really good at at catching bottles.

[00:56:36]>> Oh, no. That wasn't set up. That didn't happen in the film. Would you hold her when I fixed?

[00:56:42]>> Why did he grab the rope?

[00:56:46]>> Why did he grab the rope?

[00:56:47]>> Cuz he had to. Rich.

[00:56:49]>> Well, remember then Billy says, "Oh, my goat. My goat. My best friend. My goat.

[00:56:55]We're in the Kill Bill outfit. You are my best friend. Remember all these great times we had together?"

[00:57:00]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:57:00]>> Montage.

[00:57:02]>> Montage of uh homages to other films.

[00:57:05]Like >> Singing in the Rain and Casablanca. I don't know why any of this is happening.

[00:57:11]>> Supposed to be funny, I think. Remember he was doing an erotic like burlesque show for for Billy?

[00:57:16]>> I was waiting for him to reenact like Basic Instincts with the dog just uncrossing his legs.

[00:57:24]>> Oh, >> was that was that was that dance from Showg Girls?

[00:57:27]>> This whole movie is like somebody's fetish. That's the only explanation.

[00:57:32]Why is there so much weird sexual stuff in this? I think they're they I think they whoever these people were that made this were like, "Well, we you have to have some jokes for the grown-ups." I think they had like a skewed, warped, really bad way of making like a Pixar kind of movie >> cuz the Pixar movies will have adults or have jokes that adults get, but they're like clever.

[00:57:56]>> Well done. Yeah.

[00:57:56]>> Uh they're not just like, "Hey, this lady has jiggly boobs." Like >> all the choices they made.

[00:58:04]>> Yeah. and how they chose to like structure everything and why there's 50 characters and what we're focusing on and like if if you know he Dr. Billy or whatever whatever is like a skateboard ride and veterinarian like you got to set that up better like then not at all.

[00:58:25]>> Yeah, >> cuz at the end he he's like he he doesn't do anything the whole movie. He stands there and like points and then suddenly at the end Did I miss the part earlier in the movie where they established that he was a skateboarder?

[00:58:54]>> Who could you pick this?

[00:58:58]>> Why would you pick this? Sorry, I spotted them.

[00:59:02]>> He's driving like a race car that has like James Bond.

[00:59:04]>> The James Bond car. It's an Austin Martin.

[00:59:07]>> Aston Martin.

[00:59:07]>> Aston. It's an Aston Martin.

[00:59:08]>> Yeah. No, no, it's the James Bond car.

[00:59:10]And And yeah, I get the reference, but when did he ever become mobile throughout the entire film?

[00:59:18]>> Well, then he's skateboarding and that wasn't set up.

[00:59:20]>> It's It's This is This is terrible.

[00:59:23]>> Yes. Yes.

[00:59:24]>> It's It's It's such a weird level of terrible.

[00:59:28]It's hard to describe. Yeah. Yeah. It's like clearly there was a lot of effort put into the animation. Like it's not like we've watched a lot of like cheapo CG movies like Me Christmas and stuff like that where they just slapped it together. Like >> they tried with this. They just didn't try with the script, I guess. I don't know.

[00:59:47]>> Or they had no idea what they were doing.

[00:59:49]>> Or they just had no idea what they were doing. But like yeah, like the constant animals in peril. Like a little kid is going to be really disturbed by that.

[00:59:57]It's hard to It's almost impossible to like postmortem this whole thing.

[01:00:02]>> And it's made worse by RIP Shan Connory, but his voice acting is is not good and and uh kind of hurts whatever character that was supposed to be >> in his in his 80s and just done with this [ __ ] >> Sure. And that's fine. He didn't have to do this. But >> if he had even cranked it up a notch and tried more, it wouldn't have helped.

[01:00:24]>> No. the the the the blueprint was >> flawed from the very beginning.

[01:00:33]>> She did it.

[01:00:34]>> She did it.

[01:00:37]She's not paralyzed.

[01:00:39]She doesn't have to live the rest of her life in a wheelchair.

[01:00:44]>> Now I have something here in my pocket that will numb the pain.

[01:00:49]>> Is it scotch?

[01:00:53]Something's going to be all right.

[01:00:56]>> It's called fentinel.

[01:00:59]>> I don't know if this is the correct dose.

[01:01:04]>> That's why I can barely talk.

[01:01:08]>> That's why I started Zardos.

[01:01:13]Well, everybody, it's that time of night to pick the best of the wor worst.

[01:01:19]>> Can we change it? Can we pick the worst of the worsts? We usually might be easier.

[01:01:23]>> We usually do anyway. No, the best of the worst is Zardos, which is more interesting than I thought it would be.

[01:01:28]>> Yeah, Zardos, I guess, wins in the fact that we decided it was too interesting to be on the show, >> so we stopped watching it. Well, >> worst of the worst is uh present time because there there's no heart, no effort.

[01:01:44]It's just some lame Christian schllo slob.

[01:01:47]>> I disagree. I disagree with you. I I think I think uh Uncle Billy or whatever this is called is worse than the Christian movie.

[01:01:55]>> They thought they were doing Scotland's first animated movie.

[01:02:00]That's something >> this is about telling the truth. I think there's a clearer motivation by the filmmakers in Present Time than there is in Sir Billy.

[01:02:10]>> Okay.

[01:02:10]>> I like Present Time better. I think it's a better a better film.

[01:02:14]>> And not just because it was half the running time.

[01:02:16]>> Well, yeah. No, no, that has nothing to do with it. I thought I as a as like a one of those like, you know, features for families like Christian movies. It didn't hit you hard with the Jesus stuff. It just was like, "Hey, don't don't lie about the drill bit.

[01:02:33]That's it."

[01:02:35]And maybe an old prophet with a lion might come through a time portal created by an old laptop.

[01:02:43]>> But hey, who hasn't been there?

[01:02:44]>> But hey, who Yeah, that has that happens to everybody every now and then.

[01:02:47]>> Yeah. Yeah, but like the u if don't lie about the drill bit to save your dad's job, you know that I and it was never like you know Jesus once never even said Jesus.

[01:03:01]>> You know what, Mike, you're right.

[01:03:03]You're right. And you know what? I'm I'm inspired now. I'm I'm I'm going to come clean. When I was building our new game show podiums, I broke the drill drill bed.

[01:03:14]>> Oh, what?

[01:03:16]>> The the the drill bit. I needed one of the thin ones, but it was too thin. It was kind of fragile, so it snapped when I was putting the screws in.

[01:03:23]>> You broke the drill bit?

[01:03:25]>> Yeah.

[01:03:27]>> Did you replace it?

[01:03:31]>> Uh, well, I haven't gotten around to it yet. I was going to, but I'm I'm being honest.

[01:03:41]>> You're fired. Get the [ __ ] out of here.

[01:03:46]>> I'm fired. You're fired.

[01:03:48]>> I can't afford I'm going to end up homeless.

[01:03:50]>> I don't care. Eat out of a dumpster.

[01:03:53]That was our only drill bit. You [ __ ] >> I'm sorry.

[01:03:57]>> You're never going to watch movies like Sir Billy ever again.

[01:04:01]>> Woohoo.

[01:04:05]>> I'm going to go take a [ __ ] My pick is for present time.

[01:04:27]THE LAST PROPHET.

[01:04:30]NOW IT'S A TIME.

[01:04:37]>> My word.

[01:04:38]>> Oh my god.

[01:04:43]All right, folks. Show's over.

[01:05:06]Perfect.