The Met Gala 2026 featured celebrities using their fashion choices as political statements, with Sarah Paulson wearing a $1 bill blindfold as a form of protest against the 1%, demonstrating how high-profile fashion events can serve as platforms for social and political commentary.
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Met Gala 2026: The Most Cringe Looks That Broke the Internet | Adam Carolla Show NewsAdded:
All right, what do you got?
>> Well, speaking of having no dignity, uh despite some hopeful pre-Met Gala chat on social media uh urging celebrities to boycott this year's event, it's so ridiculous. Uh be it as the Met Gala was sponsored by the world's third richest man, Amazon's Jeff Bezos, uh it seems as though Sarah Paulson had uh something to say about it. If you notice, she has a $1 bill that is a blindfold over her eyes, and when asked about it, she said that this is in uh retaliation for the 1%.
>> What is Where do we know Sarah Paulson from? I know the name.
>> good actress. She is She did a thing called I think it was called Ratched. It was about Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. She also does a lot of independent films like Duplass the Duplass brothers.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh one of those Duplass brothers turned out to be a huge [ __ ] >> Yeah.
>> Cuz he went sat down with Ben Shapiro on some something, then he said Ben Shapiro's a good guy, and then his [ __ ] left attacked him, and then he had to go out and apologize for saying something nice about Ben Shapiro, which makes Mark Duplass a [ __ ] >> Yeah.
>> A [ __ ] sad [ __ ] and part of the problem as to why we got to where we got cuz that was 8 years ago. If he'd [ __ ] said, "Fuck you, woke Hollywood.
I know you don't like the guy, but he was generous with me, so [ __ ] off." But he can't do it cuz he's scared cuz he wants to work in this business. Now there is no business.
>> Which is too bad because he makes great movies. If you can separate the art from the man, I I love his movies.
>> He's a nice guy. He just turned out to be a [ __ ] >> Mhm.
>> But anyway.
>> Yeah.
>> And I don't know about I don't know if I would use the word great, but I I I just used to talk to the Duplass brothers, but then they got scared cuz they're [ __ ] and they want to work in this industry.
>> Yeah.
>> And they're scared.
>> Yeah. I I like his movies. I think they are great. I know it's subjective, but I like it.
>> Uh okay. I I I'm I'm not arguing with good. I'm only arguing with great. [laughter] >> Yeah, I do get a little loose-lipped with the great. You're right. I definitely he prays on people who have just accomplished something.
>> [laughter] >> Just cuz you got it done doesn't mean that it's fantastic. No, I mean they're good they're like good indie kind of low medium budgety films.
>> Yeah, she uh >> I mean I the the you know, Tarantino makes great films.
>> Yeah, I'll agree with that.
[clears throat] Yeah, if that's the standard then for sure. We wanted to show off a couple of the photos of dudes attending this year's Met Gala and boy did they not disappoint.
>> Mhm.
Who the [ __ ] is that?
>> I don't know what this is.
>> That's a Well, that's a conquistador kind of outfit.
>> Yeah.
>> Let me Let me explain what's Yeah.
>> What's the bullfighter matador?
>> Matador. Matador. Okay, let me tell you what's going on.
I see these women. I'm going to explain life.
And I'm going to explain why woman can never be president.
You ready?
>> I I got a pen. Let's go.
>> further than the Met Ball. Every single one of these women show up with these huge trains and they have five women behind them >> [laughter] >> getting And at some point when the five nameless faceless [ __ ] get the train set just right, the person wearing the dress yells, "Now get the [ __ ] out of the shot.
>> [laughter] >> This is about me, right?"
Women We'll look at the next picture, by the way. Um women walk around Find me a big woman train picture, but the women walk around >> Yes, type in woman train.
>> Yeah.
>> [laughter] >> Pull on that train. Women Women walk around with the train and they have all the other women running behind them and then skedaddling when the photographer comes out.
That's their relationship. They like that relationship with women. I would feel wildly uncomfortable with someone walking behind me. You know what I mean?
Just keep moving my [ __ ] around.
Men traditionally >> Mhm.
>> wore wore tails.
>> Yeah, the coat tails, yeah.
>> Right. And guess what?
I am going to carry you on my coat tails. I'm going to take you with me on my coat tails as a man, Rudy.
>> Yeah.
>> And Dawson, I'm wearing tails and you can ride my coat tails. [laughter] Not carry my coat tails. Not just my coat tails. You may ride my coat tails and we're going to go right to the top.
Women, you got to move my train around and then get your [ __ ] ass out of the way.
>> It's a metaphor for life. Love it.
>> Women put they subjugate other women, whereas men, I go you can bump draft me by hanging onto my tails and ride my tails right to stardom and fame.
>> Right.
>> Uh this is chapter one of the book, actually.
>> That's right.
>> It's a good metaphor for divorce, too.
>> [laughter] >> All right, so Rihanna. But I don't know if that's Rihanna. I can't First off, I can't imagine something more uncomfortable than dragging [ __ ] Like if I'm walking and my shoe comes untied and I take three steps, I go, "Ah, god damn it." I I don't go, "Ah, I'll do it at the mile marker." I got to fix it right [laughter] now. I don't want to step on a shoelace.
>> Yeah, they got to have a lot of square footage in this building and I imagine that the seating options are either very extravagant or very limited.
>> I think they change they they they they cut the train loose. I think it's the point.
>> You'd have to.
>> Okay, you you have to. You have to. But the the point is is these poor people and gay guys have to run behind them and and and squire behind them and it's not I'm not making I mean, I am making a joke, but I mean it. It's like look back in the days it's like she's royalty, you are a lady in wait or you are a squire or serf and you walk behind her enabling her helping her. You don't stand next to her with their arms folded. You you pick you walk [laughter] behind.
>> Yeah.
>> You can't walk in front with a train.
>> Yeah. They take this train and then they donate it to third world countries so that less rich kids can have beautiful trains.
>> then there's Lena Dunham who does make shitty movies.
>> Yeah, that's Lena.
>> I don't know what she's doing.
Like I don't know what she's trying to accomplish.
>> [laughter] >> Like well, here's what I'm saying.
If you're Lena Dunham and you have sort of an angle in life, your angle is done Hollywood.
Now I live in the wilds of Pennsylvania, a quiet and private life where I can focus on my art, my poetry.
You but you don't come back into Hollywood event and go, "Hey, I'm I'm going to try to look hot for 5 minutes and and rub shoulders with a bunch of elitists and rich people and then go back to my quiet life of poetry and art."
>> Mhm.
>> It's kind of a weird You know, what I mean? Like why she there?
>> showed up. She got exactly what she needed out of this business and then she high-tailed it off to another land where she doesn't have to deal with any of that.
>> Well, also she's not funny. So, we discovered she's not funny. I I Listen, I'll put together a list of people where I went, "Not funny. You're not going to hear about her in 10 years or whatever."
People People I I would tell you early money.
>> Our early money on the not funny.
>> She also has one of those last names that indicates her status. She's >> She's Dunham. She's been there and she's done them.
>> Ooh.
>> So, um She should have a brother named Been There. And the emphasis would be for a chapter guy named Been Been Them.
>> [laughter] >> Been There.
>> Been There, Dunham.
>> Been There, Dunham.
You know my friend Guy Dude, bro?
>> [laughter] >> Related to Been There, Done That?
>> Yeah, so she looks horrible. It's also kind of a weird thing when you are a woman. I feel this way about super fat chicks who put a lot of time into their nails.
I'm like nothing's going to You're not going to be hide behind those nails.
You're a big fat chick and you're you're not attractive. And >> She look She looks like a coral reef.
>> Yeah.
>> I was going to say it used tampons to >> [laughter] >> clean it. It's awful. This is true.
>> got here [ __ ] by clown fish.
I don't know if you knew that. It's true.
>> They ran a train.
>> Yeah.
>> Well, Nemo's dad's been lonely, okay?
>> That's right.
>> Marlin's been needing some loving.
>> Then there's this guy from I don't know what What are the dudes doing at this place? I don't know what the dudes the straight He's not straight.
>> with the chicks is what they're doing.
>> Yeah.
Also in a world Here's what I never understand.
In a world where we pretend to care about gas being $4.75 a gallon and the poor children of Ukraine and uh Iran's having using human shields why do we do the super garish over-the-top flamboyant [ __ ] Like doesn't it feel a little weird? Like all we do is we talk about there's kids in this country and they go to bed hungry because they have food insecurity and they live in a food desert. By the way, a food desert, that's food desert when when we when we write the history books, we'll go what kind of [ __ ] made up [ __ ] stick stuff that they came Well, they came up with something called the school-to-prison pipeline. What was that? No no one knows what it is and it never existed and they made it up and then at some point they got bored saying school-to-prison pipeline, so they came up with food desert. What's What's that mean? I don't know.
>> School-to-prison pipeline would be a great name for a water slide at Raging Waters.
>> Yeah.
>> And food desert >> Black kids first. Black kids [laughter] first in line.
>> In any other reality, a food desert could be pretty sweet restaurant, dude.
>> The food desert?
>> Ozzie would probably Oswaldo would have eaten at the food food desert.
>> All right, Dawson, you've run out of you've run out of ideas.
>> Yeah, yeah, [laughter] you had you start off the water slide idea. And then you and then you you goes to do a stop.
>> [laughter] >> Come on, man. Who wants an iguana smoothie?
>> [laughter] >> All right, so now we have a food desert and a maybe we should take the food desert and combine it with the pipeline and remove people from the food desert.
>> Yeah.
>> They got plenty of food in prison.
>> Yeah. I I know California's in a drought, but this is a good way to water that desert up. Yeah.
>> I love when they do that. And I love when Mondami like they they basically um blame, you know, the supermarkets that the supermarkets move out of places they get shoplifted and looted and stolen and enough [ __ ] people rip them off and then they go [ __ ] it we're moving. And that's where you get your food food desert. It's it's not a problem with the markets, it's a problem with the people who live there.
>> Mhm.
>> So maybe start focusing on them instead of calling porn proud all the time.
>> [clears throat] >> Well, speaking of children, uh Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F.
Kennedy Jr. is targeting antidepressants including medications like Zoloft and Prozac.
>> Good for him.
>> Yeah.
>> All right.
>> United States does not just face a mental health crisis, we face a dependency crisis driven by over-medicalization.
The data is clear, one in six American adults takes an antidepressant. One in 10 children are on prescription medication for their mental health.
30% of college students report using psychiatric medications in the past year.
And in nursing homes, more than half of the residents are on prescribed antidepressants.
That's not a marginal issue. This is a system-level pattern.
Too many patients begin treatment without a clear understanding of the risks and how long they will stay on these drugs or how to come off of them.
And that's not informed consent.
>> Yeah. I know. He's a maniac cuz he wants to get everyone off the [ __ ] pharmaceuticals, which is [ __ ] everybody up. And I love the fact that he's enemy number one to the left, even though he's telling people to get their kids off the [ __ ] pharmaceuticals that are scrambling their [ __ ] brains. There's no goddamn way we're meant to be on all this [ __ ] And in these numbers, that is insane that, you know, one out of every six kids I I and it's anecdotal, but I mean, everybody I know has a [ __ ] medicine cabinet just filled with [ __ ] that they don't need to be on.
>> Yeah, and I'm glad that I grew up at that time, you and I both were it wasn't given out yet. It was like the generation of kids, like I always say I'm a Beavis and Butt-Head millennial, not a SpongeBob millennial.
And it was the SpongeBob millennials that started with the Adderall and that type of and it has just gone gangbusters.
>> Let me Let me tell you something.
I am older than you, and I thankfully missed out on antibiotics, cuz antibiotics is what [ __ ] everyone's gut up. So, you guys think all this [ __ ] some kind of medical miracle? You're [ __ ] your kids up. So, I missed out on antibiotics, and I don't have any gut problems or any issues that everybody else had, and I missed out on all the pharmaceuticals and the serotonin reuptake inhibitors, so my [ __ ] brain's not scrambled, either. So, I don't know why you think all this stuff is good, kids. It ain't. And I do not trust the [ __ ] doctors who make a living putting you on this [ __ ] >> Yeah, did you ever break any bones as a child? Cuz yeah, cuz my my family, we were very adamant like you only went to the doctor if you needed to go to the doctor. You I mean you had to have a limb falling off.
>> I didn't know that. You go to the emergency room and not the doctor. I don't know who the doctor was.
>> yeah.
>> Yeah, and in the in my house, there was inside of my houses that I grew up in, you would be hard pressed to find an aspirin.
>> Wow.
>> Like I would say you would find inside of my mom's house or my dad's house or like even when they were remarried or in in modern times, you would find I don't think you'd find Maalox or you know, a Robitussin. I NyQuil. I I don't it wasn't it didn't exist. And it never existed for me. It was like you know, you got a sore throat or cough or or whatever when I was adult, go to bed.
Suck it up.
>> So, you didn't take aspirin and yet are still autistic? How does that happen?
>> What? I don't get it.
>> There was I mean, there would have been some aspirin probably. And if you had a problem like, you know, upset stomach or something like that, someone may have gone out and got you some Imodium or something or some Pepto something.
Oh god, there was a there was a there was a thing in a weird gray bottle that tasted weird from the '70s.
>> right? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Can't remember the name of it though.
>> What was the gray bottle '70s um stomach upset stomach stuff had a weird it was like a modium but it was something not we got to look it up but here's the whole here's the whole point it wouldn't have been in the house someone would have gone and said you got an upset stomach I'll go get you some of this weird stuff and you can chug some of this and then go to bed yeah so there was no pills zero pharmaceuticals not my I'm picturing my dad and my mom and like the medicine cabinet I don't think we didn't have a medicine cabinet [laughter] but we had like a you know drawer or something in the bathroom bismuth you know coal colon oh pepto bismol >> maalox >> maalox >> no I don't I was it in a it I I here's the thing you're going to know it by >> or kaopectate >> no weird kaopectate maybe weird gray bottle like a non you know now everything is bright green and has big letters on it like we're selling it to kids with a learning disabilities or Mexicans or something back then it was just a gray bottle like [ __ ] you >> modium extreme >> [laughter] >> yeah like everything's everything is [ __ ] bright orange and translucent and clear and it's like you it's almost like they they do it up like a like a drag boat or something that's supposed to attract you kids or something this is like [ __ ] gray bottle looked like army surplus [ __ ] and it's like [laughter] [ __ ] you your stomach hurts you'll take this and we're not giving it a happy name either we're just going to call it what it is >> like that old can of beer that just said beer on it that's how it was yeah >> that's how it was my grandfather just drank [laughter] >> my grandfather drank generic beer like he wouldn't >> step up to a lowenbrau or even a budweiser >> couldn't get some with an animal on the side of the can, like a 12-point buck?
>> My grandfather drank beer that said beer.
>> Yeah.
>> And could have gotten a Budweiser at that stage for probably between another 20 cents and maybe 39 cents. Price, you know, 1975.
>> Yeah.
>> Didn't squeeze the trigger. Couldn't do it.
>> Well, I mean, obviously he built a mansion years later from all the money he saved.
>> except of course he passed on the [laughter] millions to me as well as the sports car collection. So, I'm glad the old man >> Yeah. You beer nepo baby.
>> He died.
Yeah, he didn't leave anything. Oh, he had a a large print dictionary he had.
>> Not bad.
>> Not too shabby. Yeah, it's a dictionary that weighs 70 lb.
>> [laughter] >> That's awesome. What was that stuff? 70 What are you typing in, Dawson?
>> I typed in I have to go back to the top.
Liquid anti-diarrheal medicine, 1970s.
And it's mainly coming up with Imodium.
Imodium was in a a gross green bottle.
>> I need a gray bottle.
>> It looks very much like that. I know I believe I know what you're talking about.
>> Put in Put in gray bottle. See what happens.
>> I did find that there's an anti-diarrheal called Smecta.
>> [laughter] >> I told you they didn't give happy names back then. Right. You know it's good, like Smucker's.
>> Yeah.
>> [laughter] >> Hey, but but Dawson, don't do anti-diarrhea. This was just stomach.
This is upset stomach.
>> Upset stomach liquid medicine, yeah.
>> Upset stomach. Yeah, gray bottle. And I think that'll That'll put it I didn't say diarrhea. It's It's upset stomach-ol. It was I think that was kind of the the reason. Anyway, sorry. News. What do you got? Yes, he's right. We're Everyone is on too much [ __ ] Knock the [ __ ] off.
I'm telling you you're poisoning your [ __ ] brain and I've no idea what we're doing. I know what they're doing.
They want you to get five vac- vaccines you don't need for a disease that's not going to harm your healthy kid. That's what they want. You people have to wake the [ __ ] up.
>> You know what else I saw this weekend it's making a comeback saw two of them this weekend in Philadelphia helmet.
>> Oh.
>> Baby helmets on the way back.
>> The corrective helmet not the protective helmet.
>> Yeah, it's not like Evil Knievel you're not putting on a baby Yeah, the corrective because they tell you that baby skulls are all messed up and that's not the case.
>> Every nobody has a perfectly shaped skull except for Caillou.
>> [laughter] >> Caillou >> And it's been said.
>> Like a regulation basketball is like perfect. There's no deviation. Caillou's head is perfect. Other than that we're human and things are a little bit different. And so they can say if you want to play it safe you'll get the helmet and they're not lying but they are lying and they are taking your money but they're not technically lying.
>> Mhm. Yeah, well the reason why baby skulls are soft like that is to be able to get out of the birth canal. So it comes out your head's all wonky so you can fit.
>> I'm going Kaopectate.
>> Kaopectate Kaopectate is on is on there but I'm not seeing it in the gray bottle.
I'm reminded of Gaviscon though heartburn.
>> Gaviscon.
>> I didn't I didn't even know what Show me Kaopectate let me see if it reminds me like 70s bottle of Kaopectate.
>> Mylanta was in a light bluish bottle but consistently all that's coming up is Pepto Mylanta Maalox Kaopectate.
>> Show me old school Kaopectate but that that's Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry but Dawson if you Go ahead Rudy. Half the label's gray.
It's like a huge [laughter] patch of gray.
>> That's his search.
>> Oh, okay.
>> He searched Kaopectate.
>> All right, but there's a big >> I searched for a gray bottle and that picture did not come up.
>> All right, if you go to the one on the right, there's a big gray >> Yeah, I see I see it. Yeah, it's right there. It doesn't come up on a gray bottle search.
>> On the right. I know, but okay. We'd already been through Kaopectate and you said it wasn't that, so it'd be dumb of me to search for a gray bottle again. I didn't say no, I was just like, but go to the right.
Um that is a gray what I would consider a gray bottle.
>> Yeah.
>> I I just I just >> I said gray bottle, but I should have said gray label on the bottle.
>> I just text my mom >> to the one on the right if it comes up.
I don't know.
It won't let you do it. But anyway, all right, so that's it. Well, there you go.
I'm saying I'm not insane. They put a big gray >> No, yeah, I remember it existed.
>> Yeah, I just text my mom and said, "What was the stuff we had?" She immediately hit me back Kaopectate. Yeah, she knew right away.
>> All right, so what else do we got?
>> So, this was obviously going to happen, but regulators want State Farm barred from writing new policies for a year for allegedly violating state laws after the Los Angeles wildfires, but experts say that current customers shouldn't panic.
State regulators are pushing for a multi-million dollar fine and possible license suspension from State Farm after a California Department of Insurance probe found it delayed claims, low-balled payouts, and shuffled in adjusters causing confusion for policy holders.
>> Well, look, they're in the business of not paying.
>> Yeah.
>> And getting paid.
Everyone wants to know what's going on, like why they arguing.
Cuz if someone said, "Look, um I'm in the business of I get a dollar a day from everyone who works here and I keep that money and I invest that money, but if one of them twist their ankle on the weekend, then I got to take a lot more money and give it to them and then at some point I got a call going, "Hey, I twisted my ankle." I'd go, "Really?
Where?"
>> [laughter] >> Cuz uh I don't want to give you your money back. That's That's That's the business they're they're they're in. They don't want to give you your money back.
>> Same with the IRS. As soon as they take your money, they're probably not going to give it back.
>> Yeah, but they didn't promise to give it back if you asked for it or if [laughter] you're fake twisting your ankle. I wish I could throw myself down a flight of stairs and get my IRS money back. [laughter] I would definitely [ __ ] take that plunge.
>> Yeah.
>> But they also have to deal with a lot of people that didn't really twist their ankle, you know? So, they're in the business Their business is taking your money and not giving it back. That's That's what they That's what they do. So, expect this from them, but they're also our business and they're regulated and they got to follow rules.
And And if they break those rules, then then they're going to get into trouble.
I I'll I don't want to defend insurance companies. I will defend any company that tries to do business in California because it's so [ __ ] diff They make it so difficult that I feel sympathy for the companies that try to do business in California.
All right, let's do one more if you have it.
>> One more. Well, to go out on a happy note for you, Ace, Kamala Harris has weighed in on the LA mayor's race and issued an endorsement and several other contests except refused to give uh her governor candidate endorsement. The former VP who now lives in Malibu endorsed incumbent Karen Bass for mayor of the second largest city in the US.
>> Is it any Like is there a version of life where like I or a politician go, "Look, I'm going to give uh Tim Johnson over there my endorsement.
Obviously, I'm white, he's white. I'm a dude, he's a dude, so >> That's how it works. [snorts] >> [laughter] >> Like is that is that would that work?
Cuz I know black and colored people just have to do that, but the reverse is kind of weird, right? Like is there any possibility that a person of color would not endorse another person? I mean, if they were a Republican, they wouldn't do, but if it was who was a Democrat or it was between this white Democrat and that black Democrat, and you just went, "Fuck it. I'm Barack Obama. I'm giving it to the ginger." Like I don't think that would ever happen, which is kind of fun that they can do that and nobody cares.
Um Karen Bass is is equally ineffective and vacuous and shitty at her job as Kamala Harris. I'm I'm now more curious about the people that think they do something than others. I her thing is to talk about how broken everything is and how everything needs to be fixed, and she's been there for 4 years breaking everything and [ __ ] everything up. Um she's sitting around going, you know, what they love to do is they go, "These are old problems. These are These problems These problems are old."
The Democrats have been running LA for over 20 years. So, whatever problem you say is an old problem is on you and your party. So, you can go, "This is Well, who's Who should we blame it on?
Garcetti from a number of years ago, or should we go back to Antonio Villaraigosa from 2009?" Like how far back do you want to go? Cuz it's all your party. So, basically what you're saying is your party is not good at running things because you're saying LA's a piece of [ __ ] we got a lot of problems, and it's broken. I need a second term to fix it. I need a second term to fix the [ __ ] I couldn't fix in the first 4 years. So, here's your argument.
We need me to fix the [ __ ] I couldn't fix in 4 years. Not the [ __ ] I couldn't fix in 6 months or 14 months, the [ __ ] I couldn't fix in 4 years, you need me.
And by the way, I didn't break the city. The city goes back and was broken for the last 20 years, although my party's been in charge that entire time. [laughter] >> I was also >> I endorse and people I work with and people I have lunch with are all the people that [ __ ] up your city. You do the [ __ ] math. You work it out. You tell me how this is going to work and why I should vote for you. Well, Spencer Pratt has no experience. No experience [ __ ] up cities? Cuz that's [laughter] that's all I got from you. And you TRYING TO GO BACK A decade still puts you smack dab in the middle of your party [ __ ] up this city, so shut the [ __ ] up. Thank you. And even though I'm running unopposed, that's why I need your vote.
>> [laughter] >> All right. Friday Saturday, Las Vegas coming up, Kimmel's Club, couple shows there. And then Rudy's there for one.
>> Yeah, Friday night.
>> Friday night. Thursday at Irvine Laugh Factory with a crazy specialty guest.
And then we got uh Visalia at the Fox Theater.
And some date after Fox that got removed.
But uh Saturday, there's a show somewhere [laughter] around there. Do we not have room to get the Costa Mesa in?
Huh?
>> Oh, it's on there Sunday the 24th. You said the Costa Mesa?
>> No, no, I got another I got a date on Saturday in May.
>> Oh.
>> Oh, Nick may have screwed something up there. I don't know.
Uh then the 24th, Costa Mesa, West Coast. So, you can go to adamcarolla.com.
Uh Westwood Coast is what it's called.
You can go to adamcarolla.com for all the Is there not enough room? Ask Nick if there's not enough room on there. I'm curious. Yeah, adamcarolla.com for all the live shows. What do you got, Rudy?
>> Uh you'll catch me Friday with you in Vegas. And then [music] next weekend, the 14th to the 16th, I'll be at the Loon's on the Lake Festival in the Twin Cities of Minnesota.
>> All right, we'll get to the bottom of this just cuz it's going to be funny.
Till next time, Adam Carolla. Oh, for Drew Lynch and Rudy Pavich, San Mahalo.
>> All right, Mayhem, you got some news to get to over there?
>> Yeah, I definitely do. You ready for it right now?
>> Yeah.
>> All right, cool. First up, a nasty fight breaks out on a plane as a lawyer tries to skip the line and deplane first. I want to know what you think about >> got thoughts.
>> All right, let's let's watch the video.
>> Right now.
Shut your mouth.
>> Wait for the people in front of me to get up. That's how we do it.
>> My god, you're all whining for no reason.
>> Where you going, man?
>> Kid crying is awesome.
>> Get up when you want to.
>> Okay, you're fine.
>> All right, pause it for a second, Dawson. She did the thing that's now in vogue, which is she walked from the back of the plane to the front of the plane to deplane.
And look, uh when you do that, by the way, I've been sitting on the aisle up front when people have done this. You stare at the guy's ass crack for 22 minutes. I mean, by the way, you can say what you want about, you know, male intimacy, but the reality is is I'm 6'2, I'm sitting on the seat, this guy's 6'2 and he's standing there.
His his ass crack is 9 in from my face.
It's a pretty rare. I know for you it's a [ __ ] Tuesday.
>> [laughter] >> Figure four with some dude. But the guy in the back rarely have my head in that proximity of a guy a strange guy's [ __ ] aware of it myself, [laughter] but that'd be a weird if you just thought of a thing where it's like someone goes, "Look, uh you sit on this folding chair, yeah. I'm going to have a guy stand on an apple crate and he's just put his ass about 9 in from your face." You'd go, "What the [ __ ] are you talking about?" Oh, we'll do it for 20 minutes. Will you just sit there? The [ __ ] aisle is 16 in wide.
This guy's fat. You just sit there. So, listen.
Okay.
Okay, million thanks. So, she's doing it. She's doing this thing.
There are many Not everything is codified into law. There's just certain decent humanity. Sort of like when you're driving, it's kind of a zipper, you know? Go ahead, I'll merge, and you go, then you go. Like sometimes you do that, go ahead, and three people go, and you go, "Okay, that's not how we do this. One at a time. We're going to zipper in. We're going to merge." She's just doing this, and the people are calling her out on it, rightfully so.
We'll play a little more. And she's firing back.
>> You're just like you're you're just a Karen, and this is the way it is.
Just deal with it, people. My god.
>> I dated this lady.
>> [laughter] >> It's not affecting any of you.
>> It does affect you. You have to wait longer to get off the plane.
>> You're the Karens about it, because you're the ones you're the ones who make a noise. Nobody bothered you. It's not even it your >> I just love there's a kid crying. Yeah, that's perfect. Perfect.
>> Cuz you've never said one. I can tell you have. Oh, yes, I can.
Given your accent, I can tell you said you have bombs.
You can be a just No, you're not going to insult someone because of an accent.
We're not doing that.
Okay?
>> Yeah. She's enjoying this. Yeah, yeah.
No, I dated a mean Iranian lawyer just like her.
>> Really?
>> Yes, who's vicious, and like likes arguing. They love to a constant argument. That's just how she talks.
>> So, everything is a thing.
>> Yes.
>> Yeah.
>> She just wants to win, no matter what.
Look, not to be racial, okay, but I have students that are Iranian, uh very stubborn guys.
>> Really?
>> So, listen. There's >> reason why that [ __ ] place is a [ __ ] >> Ash tray. It's a culture. They have a [ __ ] culture.
>> Not all [laughter] of them are bad.
>> I know. Not all of them.
Enough. Enough to ruin it.
>> Enough for us to be angry and bomb enough to ruin a region.
>> But, she's enjoying this. You see, I've always said, you know, if you take the woman in the pink and the two guys, I always say it's the sound of one hand clapping.
Don't give them the other hand. You have no sound.
>> I pulled that move and just dead silence and like, I don't understand English.
>> I I I'm sad to say that there needs to be an intervention at this point. Like, I I fly I fly first class sometimes. I never got the you get to get on the plane first part of first class.
>> Right.
>> I never go I what what's the the biggest perk is I sit in the front of the plane and you bang my knee with your Samsonite times 250 people that get on the plane and then we leave. By the way, I don't get anything. I'm sitting there. Now, first class is not first class. You order a Scotch. They'll be like, "Sir, wait wait till we hit our cruising altitude." You know, it's not like you get a cheese platter or anything. You just sit there and get eyeballed by everyone that gets on the plane.
Why is that a good thing? Like, so here's what I'm saying. You know, I've said to people many times, "What if we're just taking a bus to Phoenix?"
>> Right.
>> And they go, "All right. Well, Adam, the average ticket on this bus was $33.
Yeah. You paid $87. Yeah. So, you get to go on the bus first and wait for everyone to load up."
I go, "How about this? How about I go sit at that bar and then when everyone's loaded up, you can come get me and I'll get on the bus and then we can leave."
>> I'm first class. You're after 40 minutes on the bus.
>> All right, so I have a thing. Um, I always ask my wife because she makes all my flights, "Where's How big is the plane?"
>> Right.
>> Because if it's I fly in first class a bunch.
And, um, if it's the one where you turn >> If you turn left, you're in first class.
If you turn right, you're not >> Yes, but you have the bigger you have the big wide seat even if you turn right.
But here here's the problem I have. I feel like if I get on that plane before anyone else, I feel like everyone's judging me for being in first class and I don't like that feeling.
>> I just maintain eye contact and show dominance.
>> So I get on last.
I'm always getting on last.
>> Yeah, I'm just kidding. I get on last, but now in this new world non-order we're living in, I've gotten on last and had to have my bag gate checked. And I'm like, "Hey [ __ ] I got a first class ticket on this flight." It's like, "Well, they they filled your overhead space. The [ __ ] going to the back of the plane threw all their [ __ ] up in the front of the plane." Yeah. So now we got a problem. The problem is is you're unloading your bag up front and then go sitting in You go You're You're in aisle 27. You threw your bag in aisle three.
That's where my seat is. But you got on before me and nobody polices this [ __ ] anymore. Now we land and you get up at aisle 27, you walk up to aisle three and you put your fat ass in my face cuz that's where your bag is. The one is perpetrating the other. You see what I'm saying?
>> Yeah.
>> We need to [ __ ] police this [ __ ] You have the space above your seat. You don't have the space in the front of the plane. That's the space of the people who bought a ticket in the front of the plane.
>> Yeah.
>> That's the new rule and also you don't get used to heading to first class, either.
You didn't pay for it. Tough [ __ ] literally. Go to the back.
NOW I WAS JUST LIKE WINGING the curtain open and flying in, I'm going to go [ __ ] up first class and then I'll just go back and sit in coach. [ __ ] that, you didn't pay for it.
>> And it's a lot I think it's a lot of money. I I don't do the tickets myself, but I think it's a lot of money.
>> class first class it it it of depends, but what people don't really get about the first class is like other forms of life are sort of like you go out to eat, you know?
Well, you go to a decent restaurant. The the burger's 26 bucks. All right, well, how much is the steak? Well, the flank steak's $49. Okay, what's the filet mignon? That's 51. You know, it's just kind of incrementally moving up the the list.
Uh first class, you fly first class and you you can fly coach to New York for $289. And you go, what's the first class? That's 3,300. Like it's not >> think I don't think I'm paying that for first class.
>> It's it's Oh, it'll vary.
And it can and sometimes it's a little bit more, but that's when you turn right and it's a smaller plane.
>> Yeah.
>> But if you want to fly to New York and you want to turn left, you're not talking about two or three times what coach is. You're talking about nine times what what coach is.
>> I'm going to have to have a talk with my wife >> [laughter] >> crazy.
Yeah.
>> Really?
>> Well, I MEAN, THEY >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THINGS COST. YOU JUST CRASHED this budget today.
>> If she's a good woman, then she'll say, "I used your mileage to upgrade you or something."
>> Yeah, yeah, that's what she tells me all the time.
>> [laughter] >> It's like we have so many miles because of your travel.
>> to get you to shut up.
>> You ever sleep You get You ever get the sleeper thing?
>> Yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah.
>> Yeah. I asked >> I never have. That's like awesome.
>> Oh, dude, you you got You got to get [clears throat] out >> I'm going to get you a sleeper seat.
>> Yeah, yeah. I did find out. I was talking to a young guy once and and and he I don't know how it came up, but he was like, "You ever beat off on an airplane?" And he's like, he's like, "Yeah." And I was like, "Oh, yeah, I guess The guy was like 6'4", you know, I go, "Woo, stand up in that little bathroom with your head pressed against it or whatever." He goes, "No, I did it laying down."
>> Really?
>> I go, "Laying down? What are you talking about?" I should have got the sleeper or got the cocoon with the I'm like, oh, right.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, Oh, [ __ ] So, look forward to that.
>> I've not tried that.
>> [laughter] >> But, the guy flew before you did.
You're now in his bad water basin.
>> Eskimo brothers step up >> [laughter] >> bad water.
>> All right, there's 34 seconds of this left. All right, we'll play this.
>> Yeah, it is.
>> You ain't going to change this.
>> Love when they say ain't and they talk about low IQ.
>> I use ain't and I I'm I'm in a doctoral program.
>> All right. [laughter] Pretty good.
She's a lawyer.
>> I'm not talking [laughter] about you.
Do you even know what racist means?
Wait, you're white. Look, that's racist.
Maybe xenophobic if you're talking about accents. Maybe get a vocabulary word.
Right when we get off this plane, I'll meet you out there with my bar cart.
>> Got a bar cart.
>> You'll lose that, too.
>> Yeah, I should call her.
>> I just love the dis you.
>> You like that, don't you? I'm looking at you.
>> No, no, I hate that and I'm >> so glad I left it behind, but it reminds me of the exact and coincidentally, she did lose her bar cart.
>> She did.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> [laughter] >> Well, look, I here's the new world order at the airport.
If people can fly with their dogs, they'll fly with their dogs. Dignity's dead. Dignity hit some rough air, hit the side of a mountain and burst into flames years ago. So, there is no more dignity at the airport. All right, there's only strict enforcement of everything now. There's no more, you know, we're taking anyone's word for anything. There's dogs at the airport, there's poop all over the airport.
We need stringent regulations and enforcement. Sorry, we never thought we'd come to this place in society where we had to say you can't throw the bag up top, you can't [ __ ] up first class, you can't get up early and go walk to the front of the plane. We get off in the order that you're seated in, but we're going to have to start. That's where we're at and the problem is they decided somewhere along the way sort of 9/11 around 9/11 and then COVID kicked it into a different realm.
We decided that the stewardesses or the flight attendants or whatever they're oh it now there was like we're here for your safety. We're here for your safety.
Yeah, you're not here to do [ __ ] It'd be like it'd be like if you went to a restaurant and you sat down in a booth and you just went, "Can I get a martini?
I'm here for your safety." And you went, "Right. Yeah, I want a drink though."
Yeah, well, mainly here for your safety.
And I'm like, "Okay, I'm feeling pretty safe. I'd like a drink and some appetizers."
I'm here for your safety.
Well, let me check on the drink. It might take a while. That's kind of what it's turned into. They used to be there to bring you [ __ ] Now they're here for your safety. So, now here to the for your safety, no more enforcing anything, no more bringing you [ __ ] no more anything. And so, there's nothing inherently dangerous about any of this activity and they just back off. Plus, no one will talk about it, but there's a weird classism thing that we've all freaked out about, which is I go, "Hey, I paid an extra thousand bucks for this ticket. I don't want that fat ass in coach coming in here and [ __ ] on my head." And they're like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that sounds pretty elitist to me."
That's like, "That's just math." You know, it's like I I go to the casino, I go in with the whales, I do a lot of gambling, I get a comp room. That's just how life works. That guy [ __ ] playing nickel slots, he doesn't get a comp room. Why do you get a comp? I get a comp room cuz I paid.
>> Well, it's it's basic meritocracy. If you work hard and you have extra money and you want to have something, you want to have it. It's It doesn't make you a bad person. When did that become a bad thing?
>> Oh, I let me tell you.
I'll tell you when it became a bad thing.
It's all our fault. It's not the poor people, it's not the dumb people, it's not the lazy people, it's not the politicians. All First off, politicians just lick their finger and go which way is the [ __ ] wind blowing? What are we talking about? Black Lives Matter? Yeah, okay, I'm down with that. What is it again? What's it stand for? What what Ivermectin? Yeah, what's that? Horse paste? Oh, yeah, okay, whatever. I'll just say whatever the [ __ ] I'm I'm going to say.
I don't care. I don't care. But this started a long time ago.
And it started we started to kind of realize that rich people It started in the '70s, but I wrote in one of my books that that would, you know, people a son There was an America where father walked went on a walk with his son and saw a guy go by in a big Mercedes up to the hill up the top of the hill the house and the father said to the son, "That's Mr. Jenkins.
He's a successful businessman. He studied hard in college and he made he built a business for himself. And you know what, son? You study hard, you start a business, you work hard, one day you're going to have a house on the hill and a Mercedes-Benz." That's what we used to do. Now, the guy pass him the Mercedes up the hill, big house on top of the hill, and the dad says to son, "Go find a rock so we can throw it at Mr. Jenkins' Mercedes next time he drives by."
>> But why? When when did Give me the why.
>> Okay, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why.
>> I grew up wanting to be Mr. Jenkins.
>> too. And I'll tell you exactly I'll tell you exactly why.
There are many more poor people than there are Mr. Jenkins.
>> But that was the thing back then, too.
>> Right, but you have to take a look in the mirror and go, "Why is Mr. Jenkins successful?" Like okay, I work almost every weekend.
I work almost every weekend. They go, "Well, you got money." Yeah, I work [ __ ] Friday night, Saturday night. I work every every weekend.
But but if there's 52 weekends out of the year, I work 37 weekends. All right, you don't work weekends. Oh, that's fine. You get your weekends, but you don't get the Mercedes. You know what I mean? And I saw it in my own family. There's a lot of shame that goes along with it. These people [ __ ] know they made mistakes.
They didn't work hard enough. But they [ __ ] they like drinking more than they like working out. They don't like getting up early. They like they just [ __ ] want to enjoy themselves, you know, whatever that thing is. It's shame-based. But there's enough of them now where they can commiserate and no one wants to find a mirror and figure out why they're not Mr. Jenkins. Instead, they get angry and then they start talking about, "Well, Mr. Jenkins' dad, that guy's the guy who started the business. He was born on third base and thought he" All the stories about silver spoon, nepo baby. I don't I know tons of successful people.
None of their parents were rich. Nobody was born on third [ __ ] base.
According to them, 92% of successful people were born on third base. They never want to hear the story about the guy working weekends and busting his hump and working three jobs and having the shitty job in college and so on and so forth. And saving and being responsible and not having a family until you're married and finishing high school and finishing college. A disciplined life. They don't want to hear it. It's shaming to them.
Politicians realize there's a lot more [ __ ] lazy-ass dumb [ __ ] than there are Mr. Jenkins. And by the way, my mom's lazy vote would cancel out Mr. Jenkins.
>> Right.
>> So, when Gavin Newsom is making a speech, he's talking about the poor people, the poor out here, the people don't have a chance, they can't get a leg up, the the systemic racism. There's a you know, they're impoverished people, there's systemic this and that, you know, income inequality. And then the dumb people are going, "That guy's getting my [ __ ] vote."
Not the hard-working disciplined guy over here. That's when it started. It's been going on for a long [ __ ] time.
And the reason I know it's been going on for so [ __ ] long is I had a very unpopular saying I would do on Loveline cuz I just for me it's easy. I've been speaking on microphone for 30 years. So, I just go back and go, "Drew, what was I saying in 1997, 1996?"
One things I used to say all the time is I go, "I'm a millionaire." Literally a millionaire.
And the reason I would say it into the microphone cuz it sounds asinine is because I was constantly being told, "Listen, this is KROQ. We got a bunch of 14-year-olds from Orange County who are skateboarders and stuff. They don't want to hear about you flying first class.
They don't want to hear about you going out to a steakhouse. You got to pretend to be one of them. You'll get their vote, meaning they'll listen if you think they're them." I go, "I'm not them. I'm funnier than they are. That's why I'm a millionaire." So, I would go and I would make a joke about it and no one else would do it. I'd just go, "I'm a millionaire, Drew. Literally a millionaire."
>> How did Drew feel about that? Did he feel the same way or what?
>> As a 14-year-old skateboard kid, I loved it. I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I'M GOING TO BE A MILLIONAIRE."
>> Drew was scared shitless all the time.
So, he's been a [ __ ] who's been scared until like until like 10 minutes ago he had an awakening.
>> Yeah.
>> And he's like, "Fuck all this." But, he was always scared. And I would always say it. And the reason I said it is because everyone was telling everyone there used to be shows uh Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
We're going to Morgan Fairchild's home, >> [laughter] >> her palatial estate.
You know, I'm a carpenter, right? And And And I'm a home improvement guy. And I've said a million times, you know, you know be a great show, be a great show if I went out and I had my buddies, they're all you know, successful comedians have these cool barns and these cool places, cool homes, and all this cool stuff. I would go tour their house with them.
But, whatever, every single one's like, "Listen, I'm not going to I don't want people to know what I got.
You know what I mean? Cuz want to I don't want to be hated because they find out I got 9,000 square feet in Bel Air.
>> just happened. I mean, before that they had Cribs, a show called Cribs.
>> Right. Well, listen, black people are immune to this [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> How's that just black people?
>> give a [ __ ] It's just black people don't give Arab and black people don't give a [ __ ] about this. They're like, "Fuck it. I'm buying jewelry." You [laughter] know what I mean?
>> Yeah, they wear it in football games. It feels like someone's going to grab that one day and kill them for >> artery to that [ __ ] Yeah. But But, whitey is like Listen, well, the See, think about black people. No one goes, "Your dad owned a plantation." You know, they don't do that. You know, they go They know your dad was [ __ ] poor.
>> Right.
>> Whitey, they assume your dad had money.
So, they want to tamp it down. So, no.
We have to round down. We have to pretend like we're all [ __ ] poor. And that's why it's it's going on like even back in the day. You see like Letterman.
And Letterman be sitting there and and have some rapper on or something. They go, "I just bought a new Rolls-Royce."
And they go, "Let's talk about And they go, "How much for the Rolls-Royce?" And he went, "A hundred and twenty thousand dollars." And Letterman be like, "That's a little rich for my bloods. Ah, that's a lot of money." And I'm like, "Hey, you make 32 million a year."
>> [laughter] >> Make 32 million a year. A lot more than the rapper guy makes. Uh David Letterman, you buying a Rolls-Royce be like me buying a used Festiva.
>> Except you Right. Didn't he buy like a whole race team?
>> Yeah, he did. But it's always tamped tamped down. All right. It's a little rich for your blood. Little rich for your All the late night show guys. So, it's a little rich for my blood. They average 25 million a year. I think they can afford a luxury automobile. But it's always a little rich for their blood.
And that's how That's That's the whole And we went that way, and the politicians went that way. Why is everyone telling a [ __ ] story about their hard scrabble upbringing? You know what I mean? We were lower middle class.
We I slept in my car. I didn't have It's like They'll always down but they're it's First off, they can't escape the reality. Like they'll go They always do this [ __ ] story where they go lower middle class we didn't have money growing up. My dad's a blue collar guy. When I was when I was hiking through Spain when I was 19 for the summer I slept I go You went to Spain when you were 19? Well Yeah, but I didn't stay at the Four Seasons. Like you went to Spain. Yeah, yeah, my first semester at Duke. It's like okay, you went to Duke. You're not poor.
YOU'RE NOT [ __ ] POOR. STOP I think >> I think it's a little bit more impressive when somebody who comes from wealth can make it to the next level on their own because you know the realization that you have money when you're like 14, 15 your family has it, you can kind of do whatever you want now. You know, once your brain forms it's more impressive when somebody ascends from third base to home run.
>> Listen, I'm I'm more impressed I agree with you. Like you know, Donald Trump's dad did real estate, did commercial real estate. I don't know he did apartments in the Bronx or something and then he picked up that business and he moved it to Manhattan he built skyscrapers. Like I you know, a lot of other son became an alcoholic and died.
You know what I mean? So I'm just saying in a weird way the son who's into wealth and then takes it next level. I didn't have an outdoor sign business and take it from two two buildings to 50 buildings or whatever. Like that guy because that guy can coast whereas we were desperate.
>> No, I think Miller's right because yeah, every every kid I knew when I lived here I lived here for 31 years.
All the trust fund kids had no ambition, no nothing and now they're talking about the ones that were living in the Palisades, right? It's like you don't understand all the Palisades people weren't rich. Yeah, because they were given a house and they didn't do anything else. Right? [snorts] And that became a problem.
>> Yes.
>> You know, I have the phenomenon of fighters some fighters who are from good families and now like trying to be elite athletes in mixed martial arts and it happens but more often than not I got a kid with nothing who's just a beast of an athlete. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Yeah. And hungry.
All right. I'm going to be in Zanies, Rosemont, Illinois. That'll be Wednesday doing stand-up shows there. Well, guess who's working this weekend everybody.
>> [laughter] >> July 17th, doing shows at Road America July 19th. I think that's Saturday. Oh, working Sunday too in Milwaukee Pabst Theater. Oh, working another weekend.
Got so lucky with my dad being the head of show business. Oh.
>> [laughter] >> Yeah.
>> Get on the road Corolla.
>> On the road Corolla. Vinnie Tortorich Fitness Confidential, that's the podcast. purevitaminclub.com [music] is where you go for all the good stuff.
Listen to Vinnie. He's always right.
Sammy "The Bull". He's got his podcast Our Thing. Mayhem, what do you >> Yeah, dropping a podcast soon. Follow me at Mayhem Miller.
>> And until next time, it's Adam for Sammy and Vinnie and Mayhem saying Mahalo.
>> Yeah, somebody was tweeting me about Malibu and rebuilding Malibu and and all this kind of stuff and they they made this point but I'll I'll go along with this point which is Malibu is all on a septic system.
Every house just has a big tank >> Mhm.
>> and that's where all the waste goes and they have to pump it every you know, once a year or whatever it is.
Considering everything's been destroyed in Malibu, wouldn't this be a good time to A get on the sewer system? Like just instead of everyone pulling a separate permit for a septic system cuz everyone along the ocean is going to have to get a new septic system, and they're going to have to build a seawall and everything else.
And it would also be a good time to bury the power lines that cause all the fires. There's telephone poles running all the way up and down PCH.
Given the fact that no one's going to be able to reinhabit their home because there's no home there for another decade, why don't we use this opportunity to get everyone on a sewer system and everyone buried the power lines and put them in the ground. And then people could go, "Well, you know how much work it's going to take?" Yeah, okay, it's going to take a lot of work. But here we are.
No one lives on PCH anymore. Let's put the sewer in. It's 2025.
Let's get everyone off of the septic system and let's power When we dig the line for the sewer, let's put the power line in there, too. We'll get the power poles down. We'll get on sewer.
And that'll be it. We'll join the world.
>> And you got to admit, the people that are moving there, they can afford that.
Just throw it into the price of the house. They can afford that. Because I was talking right after the fires happened, I was talking to a What is that insurance company? The the one with the State Farm. So, I was talking to this guy, and they insure a bunch of stuff out there. And he goes, "Everybody out there is 50% insured."
And I go, "What does that mean?" He goes, "Well, they're insured for the cost of their house, but it's going to cost two times that to even get back in that neighborhood. So, it's either you sell everything or you like can't get back in." So, he goes, "All these people that even if you're fully insured, you're not going to be able to move in back to that property for the same price. It's going to be double to build back." So, he goes, "All those people are gone. Unless you're just I mean, sickly rich." He goes, "So, all those people out there, they're just going to sell their lots and move." So, like you You this is If you're a politician listening to this show, this is the time to just remake it and you're going to put it on the house anyway. They're going to They're going to put the cost on the house, the sewer line, the In In Vegas, they have power lines underground. Why doesn't Malibu, my neighborhood, you see no power lines.
>> Yeah. I know. I know and this is like some of the [clears throat] was some of the most beautiful scenery in the world with the Pacific Ocean and there's all these poles that are dunked in tar just with all these lines hanging out.
>> It's so trashy.
>> Yeah. Why But by the way, something else just one more thing for you to hit when you're drunk.
>> [laughter] >> Yeah. Uh my daughter and I came out to your place in Malibu and even at her age when she was only 15, one of the things she said when we first got there, I go, "What do you think? It's Malibu." She goes, "It looks old."
>> YEAH.
>> IT LOOKS OLD. I'M LIKE, "YEAH, I GUESS I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT." YEAH, IT DOES.
>> WELL, now it's all burned down, so.
>> So, let me ask you. I I know you're out there. The people houses that made it, but you have all these just destroyed houses.
Is that safety for like I I If you If your house made it, do you still live in it or do you not feel safe because now it's just different random people coming in the neighborhood and you never know what's going to happen with all these It's almost like living in a neighborhood that's just being built and then all types of people are just coming in and out and you could get robbed when you leave and stuff. I wonder is there any any form of safety if your house made it and you're living there or do you just get out, too?
>> Well, the thing about Malibu is it doesn't really get robbed or looted or whatever too much cuz it's hard to get out of Malibu once you do something wrong, you know? So, it's like there's neighborhoods around here like like Hancock Park. It's a expensive affluent neighborhood, but you can get to any shitty neighborhood in 10 minutes from the middle of Hancock Park. So, there's a lot of guys like that, record producer got robbed in his driveway.
That's in Hancock Park.
You do that [ __ ] in Malibu, where you going? You need a zodiac to go to go to Catalina. [laughter] Like, cuz if somebody robbed you know, if you were Lady Gaga's dog walker and you're walking Lady Gaga's dog down PCH, you know, before everything caught on fire, and some gangbangers rolled up on you, pulled a gun, and you shot the walker, the dog owner, and took the dog.
Well, you either got to go toward Santa Monica or you got to go toward Ventura County on PCH. So, whoever's there just calls and goes, "This dude is heading that way in whatever this car is." You can't get out of there, per se, or maybe you can go through a canyon.
>> [gasps] >> But, my theory with a lot of robberies are you need outs. Like like there's not that that many houses get robbed on cul-de-sacs, cuz you there's only one way in and one way out, you know? And Malibu's very hard to get out of.
>> And that's why they say like if you live in a neighborhood, don't live close to the freeway. Cuz you know, there's a lot of houses, especially in LA, built right off of a freeway exit. Right there. It's like the whole neighborhood's right there, and they say never live there.
Those are the places they get hit.
>> Yeah, Malibu's [clears throat] safe unless Bruce Jenner's driving an SUV, >> [laughter] >> and then it gets a little dicey. Now, pre-Caitlyn.
Pre-Caitlyn. Yeah. All right, what do you got in the news there, Ru?
>> All right, we'll start with the Academy Awards. Well, a big historic night at the 2025 Academy Awards. Adrien Brody at the center of all of it. The 51-year-old actor not only >> Only child.
>> Mhm. Not only took home the Oscar for best actor for his performance in The Brutalist, but he also secured a Guinness World Record for the longest acceptance speech in [laughter] Oscar's history. It clocked in at over 5 minutes and 30 seconds, surpassing the record held since 1943.
>> 1943?
>> Mhm.
>> Who was the guy I was wondering in 1943 who was the guy that went the longest?
That would be >> Greer Garson.
>> Greer Garson? For uh for >> Best Actress. I meant yeah. Mhm.
>> I also knew uh Adrien Brody was an only child too because >> [laughter] >> When I did that You're going to you're about to [ __ ] on only children.
>> I am. I'm ready Adam. I'm ready. Give it to me.
>> that celebrity Grand Prix race and and at some point in the middle of the race they threw a yellow flag out or something and then and if you do car racing you have to memorize the flags. You know, this one means pull [snorts] over and this one means slow down and this one's like no passing and this one's debris on the you know, on the raceway.
And we came around the corner at at shoreline going into the straightaway and they threw a full course yellow. And and full course yellow just means y- you can't pass anybody. You can keep driving, but you stop racing. It's basically what it is. You just everyone slows down.
And at some point if you get a full course caution, you'll come around the corner and you'll see an accident or something you'll see why you got your full course yellow. And so we all got the full course yellow and so everyone got off it and was kind of you know, just trucking down the main highway. And Adrien Brody was in like eighth place and he just pulled to the side of everyone and just motored right past [laughter] everyone.
I I would I would have times think to myself, what happened? Like what do you think is happening here? Do you think we all just forgot how to drive? Like why would You're in eighth place. Why do you think you just passed everybody?
And I don't know. I never know what the thought is, but we got the full course yellow and he just he just went up like five spots and then just sort of tucked back in. And cuz it was like a celebrity thing, they just kind of went like whatever. [laughter] But that's when I knew he was an only child.
Stop it. Maybe [laughter] he didn't see the he didn't see the flag. You come from adversity because of the relationship with papi and mom and dad and the belt and everything. So you're you're humble.
But but is there a chance he didn't see the flag and then when he discovered, oh, that's what the flag meant, let me tuck back in. Yeah, it's certainly possible. [laughter] Here's what I would argue with people though.
Regardless of whether they see the flag or not, when everyone in front of you is suddenly going very slow, there's a reason there's there's a reason. Maybe he wasn't paying attention. He was working out his speech in his head.
And it took him five minutes to realize Don't they play you off after 30 seconds? Not they do, but if you win leading actor, they tend to give you more time. And then because the audience is on that side on the side of that person. If you win a small he bring up this yellow flag incident? He said, I apologize >> [laughter] >> WHAT WAS HE SAYING FOR FIVE MINUTES? I didn't see it. Here's the thing, I made a post last night and I I'm I'm everybody who read it went, yes, absolutely. It was so word salad. It was saying nothing up there for four and a half minutes and then when they tried to play him off, he went, no, no, no, I'm not done. And then he said a little bit more word salad and then he thanked his parents and got off the stage. And this we got a clip of it right here.
Are we watching the whole thing? Hold on, pause it for a second. I had a thought in the airport this morning.
You ever think things like like he's wearing a I don't know, brooch or pin or something. A pendant, yeah.
You know how if if I lived 2,000 lifetimes, I don't think I would ever think to put a pendant or brooch on my jacket. I I would never It'd just be one of these things. It'd be like, "Have you ever eaten [clears throat] monkey brain?" And I'd go, "No." And I think I could go 2,000 lifetimes and there wouldn't be one where I was like, "Yeah, I did try that one time. I was in Manila." Or something. It just wouldn't happen.
>> Yeah.
>> It's just I would never ever consider putting a brooch on my jacket.
But I don't know. I think I think if you're at the Academy Awards and someone told me to brooch up, bro.
>> You got a stylist and they're dressing you and they're like, "Hey, we're going to pay you X number of dollars to wear this brooch."
>> to put the brooch on. Oh, yeah. That's been a piece of a Sklansky sandwich I don't >> [laughter] >> Although your brooch would only indicate [ __ ] don't respect the yellow flag.
>> Yeah, it would just be a giant yellow flag on >> What is his brooch on there? What is that?
>> know.
>> I don't know. It looks like the Hunger Games symbol. I don't know what that thing is.
>> All right, I'm going to hear part of what he has to say. Then I have >> it here.
>> I said last week, this like when Kamala Harris was talking about the fires, someone needs to hit her with a squirt gun. Like when the cat gets on the sofa and just kind of go, "Hey, come on. Move it on." You know, just little like someone needs a squirt gun.
Just sort of off off camera a little bit just to sort of hit him a little bit to go, "Okay, here we go. We're moving it along now."
>> That first part, that what you just I defend that part 100%. He hasn't been nominated for anything since 2002, The Pianist. So it's 2025. You're talking about 23 years this guy has not been irrelevant, but not at the top of the game. And he's just showing his appreciation that, "Wow, it could be taken away." Cuz trust me, in 2002, you probably think you're the dude. You're going to be at every award show. So he lost it for 23 years. So I agree with the first part. I'm fine if he you have ended it after that. Boom, done. I'm good.
>> What is that brooch? Is that a flying [laughter] pig?
What is that?
>> I don't know.
>> It looks like a hummingbird slammed into him.
>> Is it a pig with wings? Is it a like a sheep with wings? It's just Rorschachy for us.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> It's just fun. It's a brooch or whatever it is.
>> No, everything's got a meaning.
>> what is it? What is that thing?
It's too big.
Do you think it has mean I guarantee you that thing has no meaning at all.
>> No meaning?
>> No meaning. It's just a design. Cuz normally you would put it on the lapel, not on the shoulder.
>> I don't know.
>> Let's see.
>> No, I guarantee that has no meaning.
>> All right, we can hear the rest of his or some of the rest of his speech to see if he goes on.
>> Yeah, kid named Dash?
>> Yeah.
>> Dash and India.
>> I should have put this guy in the wall.
I should [laughter] have had a chance to put him in the wall. I didn't do it.
>> through this goddamn speech, Adam.
>> I want to go back a second. His wife is Weinstein's ex.
>> Is it? I don't know.
>> Yeah.
Do you know that, Randy?
>> I didn't I didn't know that, but let's bring What's her name?
>> Yeah, so Adrien Brody revealed Harvey Weinstein's kids call him Popsy. So the obviously it must be her then, yeah, Georgina Chapman, yeah.
>> Wow.
>> Uh.
>> So he's like the father of Weinstein's kids now.
>> [laughter] >> And her beautiful children, yeah.
>> Hey, there's nothing wrong with that.
>> have >> He should [clears throat] have fled.
I've said it a million times.
>> Yeah, but that goddamn Weinstein, he would respect the yellow flag.
>> [laughter] >> respect the yellow flag. Just not the women, but the yellow flag he would have. So that's that's his that's Weinstein's ex. But are they married now or they just >> They're not married? I thought they were married.
>> I don't know, maybe. This This just keeps saying partner.
>> Oh, okay.
>> Okay.
>> [clears throat] >> So >> Not married.
>> Yeah, this is girlfriend. Adrien Brody throwing his gum to his girlfriend, Georgina Chapman.
>> Okay. All right, so I want to hear the kids' names again.
>> [laughter] >> Is it Dash?
>> My own and keeps going on.
>> Yeah, Long.
>> How was his Hungarian? My grandfather Hungarian, you know. I know the accent.
I didn't see the movie. Did anyone see any >> I saw them all. I saw them all.
>> How were they all?
>> He, The Brutalist, the movie was okay, but he was phenomenal. Like, he carried that movie.
It was 3 hours and 40 minutes.
Absolute It was a masterclass in acting.
If you love to see a great actor perform, Adrien Brody, by far. Anatomy of a Fall, the film that won best picture, basically soft porn. For the first 30 minutes, soft porn. They tried to make a story at the end. It it it I don't think it should have won the Oscar because literally the first 30 minutes is like a soft porn. Now, I respect [snorts] the director that won, Sean Baker, because he did it like low-budget and it's got talked about with all these big movies and he's a great guy. He shot it, edited it, wrote it. He's like a one-man shop. So, I respect him. And the movie, look, Rudy saw it, too. It's soft porn at the first 30 minutes and then they try to make a Russian type of story out of it. Like, not a mob story, but >> The biggest problem is I think she was so good in it because when you watch it, you go you think like she's such a skanky uh you you're kind of disgusted by her. You cheer for her, but you're kind of grossed out by her.
>> Yeah.
>> And then when you see her last night at the Academy Awards, she's very prim and proper and she's got clothes on.
>> Yeah, speaking very eloquently. And then but the the problem is I don't have anything to go against cuz she's such a new face. Where like somebody who's been around for a while, like we were talking about Demi Moore, like you have some sort of backstory with her. So, when she does a role like that, you go, "Wow, she really stepped out." This, I'm like, "Was she great or is she just some kind of skank that got off the street?"
>> No, no, she was an actress and she's done small parts. But the thing is, I tell everybody and everybody should know this about the It's not about the best movie. It's about who runs the best campaign. 70% of this is all about campaigning. So, Adrian Brody hit everything. Every every everything he was invited to, he went to. You got to shake the critic They vote. So, you got to play the game, man. This is all playing the game, being in it, and really wanting to win it. So, it's cuz when you deal with movies, it's kind of like comedy comedians. It's subjective.
Some people hate Dave Chappelle. I think he's the greatest that ever lived, right? Movies are the same. They're so subjective. You can't pick a best picture, really.
>> Well, I mean there are shitty films and great films.
>> Yes, but when if you take the best and say, "Okay, here the best out of 10, here's the best five." Then it's subjective. It depends what you like, it depends what I like. So, it comes down to campaigning.
>> Yeah, I'm just I think with films like, I don't know, The Godfather or something or Wizard of Oz or >> Old Country for No Men like was phenomenal.
>> No Country for Old Men won one of the greatest films ever made.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh I'm phenomenal. Yeah.
So, that's one of my favorite movies of all time.
And it's one of my son's favorite movies of all time. And I don't know anyone who wouldn't go, "That was a great movie." There are there people that like other movies more, but we could all agree No Country for Old Men is an amazing movie.
>> rare. That one >> doesn't happen anymore. Now it's like I saw this movie, it wasn't that good, but it won Best Picture. Like we wouldn't That happens so much in the past. Is that what it is?
>> And then that there's every once in a while movie will just break through like that, you know, where it's like that's the one. Doesn't matter. They don't even have to campaign. This is the one. But like Demi Moore, one of the legendary actresses, she barely made it into the category, and she really exploded after she did her first speech.
>> Mhm.
>> Cuz then the critics see it and go, "Oh, she would be good to win." You know, so it's about campaigning.
>> So, out of all the best pictures, what did you the best?
>> I liked I liked The Holdovers, but I think his performance was better than than the movie. I like Anatomy of a Fall was okay. I mean, Wicked was in there.
Wicked is Wicked. Uh who else was in there? There was two more movies in there.
>> Conclave.
>> Conclave. If I had to pick one, it would Conclave, but it was okay. You know, they were all okay. There wasn't one that was just like, "Oh my god, it was amazing." Where Adrien Brody's performance was like, "Oh my god, it's amazing."
>> Uh-huh.
>> Yeah, I just saw Last Breath with Woody Harrelson.
>> Uh-huh.
>> I thought that was better than Anatomy of a Fall, and nobody will touch that movie for an Academy Award next year, for sure.
>> Why not?
>> It just doesn't have like an Academy Award feel, but it's I thought it was great. The thing is they sort of market it almost like a horror film because it's like The Abyss is what it feels like, but then you go and see it, it's a true story about a guy who's like an underwater welder who gets stuck down there for 40 minutes, and his team goes down and gets him off the bottom of the ocean. True story, and the guy is totally fine. He's got no brain damage.
Was under under the water 40 minutes, no oxygen.
>> Yeah, great great movie. I even texted you about it. I was like, "Go see this."
You know.
>> I I love the movie Sing Sing. It's with Colman Domingo, and it's about a uh people in jail that created a theater program, and all the actors in it besides Colman Domingo that was nominated for best actor are actually prisoners that got out of prison and went through this theatrical program.
So, the all the actors in it were from the prison. It It was great. You know, that was a great movie, and it had a great story, but it didn't win anything, and I knew it wasn't. But that was one where I was like, "Oh, that's cool."
>> Do we have Sorry, Mikey, the female best actress.
>> Mikey Madison.
>> Yeah.
>> Mikey Madison.
>> going to bring this clip up to you because she said something in there that I think you're going to find very intriguing.
>> Yeah. All right, we have it, or we have her clip?
>> that were sexually abused by their step [laughter] family and now are are being [ __ ] raped for a living. Is that Do you want to HONOR THAT COMMUNITY?
OKAY.
I DON'T get that crew. Like, are you for women's rights or against women? I don't It's always a little murky with that crew.
>> to be honest, that that statement and it was it was I mean, they won five awards, right? So, it was said over and over again, and I was like, that's that's weird. That's weird to me, and I get her she learned and she did her research with those people, you know, the the the people in the clubs, the the strippers and things like that. But, to cheer for it it's weird. It's weird. And look, you do what you do, but should it be celebrated? I don't know. And that's why I didn't think it was going to win because but not to cut you off, but like the Oscars, you're talking about the greatest movies ever made. And the first 30 minutes of this movie is like soft porn. So, that's going to go down in history. When people look back, they'll be like, "Oh, yeah. This is one of the greatest movies."
>> Well, they do this thing all the time where they go, "This is about women, and they're they're women are are empowered, and they're taking control of their sexuality."
It's really just women who are abused, who have no other outlet, and are forced to engage in this amoral or immoral behavior so guys can basically give them money to [ __ ] drop a load on their forehead.
>> Mhm.
>> That Let's let's celebrate this at all. Look, anything you don't want your kids doing, don't [ __ ] celebrate it. How about that? You know, people get all all And but it's Hollywood, and all you have to do is say community, and everyone everyone will start clapping.
But, the reality is just these are abuse victims that are now being [ __ ] out literally so people can profit off of them because they got scrambled mentally at a young age. So, let's try to get them some help and not necessarily celebrate them and the empowerment of what they're doing.
>> think the people that were clapping were the people that were part of the movie.
I didn't I didn't I didn't see like just everyone clapping for that. It seemed like they were just the people from the movie.
>> Yeah, I don't really care about the people clapping. It's more about her.
Like she wants to celebrate the community.
>> Well, every person that won an award from that movie pretty much said the same thing.
>> And it's a weird thing to celebrate.
Like I even was like, "Wow, that's very weird to celebrate."
>> also like this romanticized version of it in movies where you Julia Roberts is the hooker who marries the rich guy.
>> But this movie was not that at all. This movie was like the unromantic side of it, the worst part of it.
>> Well, even this movie with how how much of an unromanticized version of it it STILL KIND OF LIKE SHE'S she marries a guy who's like a Russian, you know, oligarch's son.
>> Yeah, but it all goes away. It all goes away. And then and then at the end she realizes what she is and then it's like, "Okay, that's how you end it." Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Wait, how long was this one?
>> 2:19.
>> Oh, not too long.
>> But she also knew her points. Like boom, boom, boom, done.
>> Yeah. No, she's great. I mean, she you really I mean, you see a you see a hooker on on on camera for sure.
>> is going to my point of Adrien Brody.
Just think right now she probably thinks the next 23 years of her life are butter. It's cake. I'm going to be booked a bunch of movies. Just think if this is the last time you ever see her and then she pops up 23 years later. So, the the playing an old [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> An actual [ __ ] though.
>> [ __ ] >> With one last mission.
>> The old lady at Hooters that's STILL THERE HANGING ON.
>> The dude who uttered the phrase, "I'm the captain now." That guy was from Minnesota. And he got he got nominated for best supporting actor and we never heard from him ever again.
>> That's right. And so, if he ever won an award, he'd be like, "I didn't know this was coming again. I appreciate." So, yeah, run long. Run long. Adrien Brody.
>> Yeah, all right.
>> But [clears throat] mind those flags.
>> [laughter] >> All right, did you want to do any any other news outside of the Oscars?
>> Yeah, whatever you want. You got another one.
>> Uh we'll throw in here just because I know you definitely got some opinions on this. And now you got some stiff competition, Adam. California Governor Newsom launches another podcast, plans to speak with the MAGA movement leaders.
>> No, he doesn't.
>> No, of course he doesn't. Now, uh he said the video of the podcast will include sit-downs with leaders and architects of the MAGA movement. The conversations won't be the typical political mumbo jumbo.
>> I was just talking to Mike August about him today while we're sitting in traffic trying to get to the airport.
And I was marveling at Newsom because when I interviewed Newsom, he didn't know what I was talking about when I was talking about traffic, but I was also saying as we were like sitting in traffic trying to get to the the airport this morning, and we got to the we're in the left lane, we're in the diamond lane, and we came to a full stop. And I always go, how do you come to a full stop on a freeway in the left lane when there's no cross streets or kid chasing a ball out into the Why are we completely stopped? How's this mathematically possible? But I said to Mike, I had >> [clears throat] >> I talked to Gavin Newsom about traffic, and his his response to me was, you're not in traffic, you are traffic, which makes no sense.
But also, I thought I've lived in LA my entire life. Traffic is historically it's a it's a backbreaker for a lot of people because because LA is a place that's too expensive.
If you work in Westwood, if you work at UCLA or the Veterans Administration or something in in Westwood, and you would like to afford a home but you make $67,000 a year, you're not living in Westwood and you're not living on the Westside, you're not living anywhere. You might be able to get a place in deep Simi Valley, like if you're if you're lucky or Newhall or Saugus or something cuz you have to live 70 miles away from the place you work because the average home I mean, if you work at the VA, my grandmother worked at the VA in Westwood.
The average home in that neighborhood is $3.1 million.
>> Crazy.
>> You work at the VA, you make $56,000 a year. How? How does this even begin to work for anybody? You know what I mean?
Like like literally you go, oh, a $3.1 million house? Well, you got to put down 20%, so you're going to need just call it 600k cash you put down and then your payments are going to be 23,000 a month.
So, my my grandmother didn't make 23,000 a year.
>> Yeah.
>> So, you have to live real [ __ ] far.
And then your whole life becomes traffic and commuting because you punch out at the VA at 5:00 and you live in Simi Valley or you live in far away housing track way off the beaten path.
You then sit in your car for an hour and a half every day and the next day turn around, you go right back in.
I have never heard a politician say anything about traffic, ever. I they talk about, you know, lifting up communities, they talk about schools and nothing ever changes, but they they at least talk about other stuff.
Never heard a person go, "Hey, WE'RE SITTING IN TRAFFIC over here. MY MY LIFE'S just The average Los Angeleno probably spends uh 4 years in traffic every every you know for their adult life doing nothing. AND BY THE WAY, POLLUTING, you know, the cars are just running everyone's just sitting there.
Everyone's miserable.
>> Not even Brody.
>> [laughter] >> Does anybody want to go, "Hey, you know what I'm going to do? I got a plan." Like I'm going to start implementing some [ __ ] We're going to move this along.
Like >> Is there Is there anything they can do though right now? If there's so many I get what you're saying, but what can they do?
>> Well, they're they're all causing more traffic.
>> There's stuff like and as and what I told Gavin Newsom and he had no idea what I was talking about other than Gavin Gavin Newsom's You got to find that Kara Swisher interview with him when she's asking him where where you know, people are leaving.
He Somebody said to him, "Well, people are leaving California. What's the plan?" And he just goes, "You know what I say? Where else you going to go?"
>> [laughter] >> And the person goes, >> "Somewhere else." Like that's what people are doing. They're leaving. I don't know. Where'd Joe Rogan go?
Somewhere else. You know what I mean?
Like everyone went somewhere else.
And when I was asking about traffic, he's like >> [laughter] >> He was laughing the whole time. It's He didn't know what I was talking about, which is weird when you just sit in traffic all [ __ ] day.
Now, I told him in LA, I constantly see people who get into minor fender-benders standing outside of their car on the third third lane of the freeway like exchanging numbers and stuff.
I said, "What What are they doing?
They're standing in the middle of the freeway. People are I go, 'Move it over.
Pull off to the side.'"
"Well, people don't know you're supposed to pull off the side." And I told them every other state has big signs that say if it steers it clears. If you get in an accident, pull it over. Pull it over.
So, I said to him >> [gasps] >> in Wyoming, they have signs. People sent me. It says if it steers it clears, move over. And he's like >> [laughter] >> I'M LIKE, "NOPE. YOU YOU GET INTO AN ACCIDENT, YOU PULL OVER. You don't stand on the freeway. People get killed standing on the freeway." And he just starts He's laughing the whole time. I'm going, "PUT IT UP ON THE SIGN. PUT THE [ __ ] FREEWAY SIGN TO GO PULL OVER. If you get into an accident, pull the [ __ ] over. Use your blinker. HOW ABOUT THAT?
WE CAN prevent some accidents."
He was just laughing the whole time, which makes him [ __ ] maniacal cuz he doesn't [laughter] even know what I'm He He doesn't even pretend to care. He has no thoughts.
>> Yeah. But don't Let me Let me throw out something. Don't you think California, it's the size of 28 states. Shouldn't it be like separated into three parts?
>> I think so.
>> Cuz I I like north, south, and then central because it's too big for one party to govern. I don't care.
>> I just got back. There's normal people in Central Valley and stuff. They're just hard working whatever agriculture people. They don't [ __ ] want any of this [ __ ] We have this clip.
>> [sighs] >> Uh we have Newsom where you going to go?
It's great.
>> And former Governor Brown said it best, "Where the hell are you going to go?"
And you know, I love I love Texas. Don't get me wrong.
>> Is that the new California motto, "Where the hell are you going to go?"
>> I don't know, but he said it. And I But it was an interesting point because where are you going to get so many of the other things in the ballot sheet?
>> But you are aware that I've lived there for a two decades essentially. And this is the first time I've had people really talking about not being there. And not that they could figure it out somewhere else. I don't think that's true. I think they can figure out where they're going to go.
>> Yeah. And then that means But it's not a zero sum game.
>> Right.
>> Okay. I I have a friend who just went to Utah.
>> All right, you're going to pause it for a second. There's a part before it.
But he goes, Kara Swisher goes, "People are leaving." And he goes, "Hey."
Uh he goes, "Wha- Where are you going to go?" And then she goes, "Somewhere else." And then he goes, "Yeah, I know.
Governor Brown said that. I didn't say that."
I go, "Why are you quoting a guy you disagree with?" Whatever. He doesn't He's such a sociopath, he doesn't know what's happening. There's a part at the beginning and then she's like, "Yeah, but people can leave. Like they did figure it out. They're leaving." And then she goes then he goes, "Yeah, I got a friend and uh you know, does well for himself and he moved his family there to Utah and they're doing okay."
And that's the end of the story.
>> It's unbelievable how >> Wait, but listen listen to the exchange.
I don't know if there is a a little bit at the top of that.
Maybe another 10 seconds or something.
We don't have the part where Well, just play it again. But just let I'll let it I'll let it play out. He's explaining Governor Brown said where you're going to go even though he quoted him, he disagrees with him, you know.
>> Former Governor Brown said it best, "Where the hell are you going to go?"
And you know, I love I love Texas. Don't get me wrong.
>> Is that the new California motto, "Where the hell are you going to go?"
>> I don't know, but he said it and I But it was an interesting point because where are you going to get some of the other things in the balance sheet?
>> But you are aware that I've lived there for two decades essentially and this is the first time I've had people really talking about not being there and not that they could figure it out somewhere else. I don't think that's true. I think they can figure out where they're going to go.
>> And then that means But it's not a zero-sum game.
>> Right.
>> Okay, I I have a friend who just went to Utah.
Beautiful.
It may maybe the right thing for him.
They've made a ton of money. They have the ability to take their kids out of public school into private school and they're doing that. And you know, they I imagine they're not going to turn their back forever on California.
>> Okay, so [laughter] where are you going to go? Somewhere else? Hey, well, let me give you an example. I got a friend. Yeah, moved to Utah. Uh-huh.
Yeah, that's all I got.
>> [laughter] >> Well, I don't you're kind of making her point, aren't you? This friend and maybe one day they'll come back, but they seem to be doing okay in Utah, so >> I I personally don't know.
>> He's a sociopathic [ __ ] nut. He's nuts. He [laughter] just said something that made no sense.
IT MADE NO SENSE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WHY do people vote for the guy? He obviously doesn't track. There's something wrong with him.
>> I don't watch him.
>> That's not his point. But but listen, be a politician.
>> Yeah.
>> You know what I mean? You go, "Look, I get people are leaving. I understand we have taxes, but we got the Pacific Ocean over here and we got Disneyland and you know what? I got a friend that moved to Utah. They're in Salt Lake for a couple of years, but you know what?
>> They missed the Pacific Ocean and they moved back.
>> YEAH.
>> BE A POLITICIAN. DON'T JUST be nonsensical. [laughter] He's He's nons- >> [snorts] >> I told him about traffic. He said, "I am traffic."
>> [laughter] >> That's all he said.
That doesn't That's nonsensical, is what I'm saying.
>> Uh it's [laughter] >> I I'm just going to say I lived in Studio City.
I love Vegas. Vegas is the best place I've ever lived, but Studio City, when I lived out there, I I told my wife, "If you're not in the industry making money, how are you even living here?" Like I have friends that live in Riverside and commute to >> Yeah.
>> like 2 hours a day. That's 4 hours in their car. That's 20 hours a week.
Almost a day a a day is spent in traffic a week.
>> And there's no discussion of traffic, which is weird because we get Well, look, we do stuff a sudden million times. We do stuff like we have a drought, so we want to save water. So So tell everyone don't hose down your driveway and don't keep your showers We And then And then we save water." Cuz we all go, "All right." We could do that with traffic, but we don't.
>> Yeah, I was on a radio show in Minnesota. We had a guy from the Minnesota Department of Transportation on, and I asked him, I said, "You know, we get a 12 in 14 in of snow here, and then I go out and I shovel my driveway, and it sits clean for, you know, 2 hours, and then the plow comes by, and it piles up a foot of snow at the end of the driveway. Isn't there anything out there like when the the plow was going by, can't you put a barricade down or do something that can, you know, not push snow into people's freshly groomed driveways?" He goes, "We've looked into it. It's just there's nothing out there that does it." 2 hours later, I got a video from a listener of a plow in Alaska that's going down the street, and it gets to somebody's driveway, and it drops a barricade, and it goes past, and then it opens it up, and then all the snow gets pushed off the guy's driveway.
And I SENT IT TO HIM, AND HE GOES, "OH, LOOK AT THAT. WHAT DO YOU KNOW?"
>> YEAH. [laughter] >> WELL, OH, DO SOME GET SOME OF THESE GODDAMN THINGS.
>> What do you know?
>> What do you know?
>> All right, let me give uh Michael Yo a plug here because we got Attorney Dan Abrams waiting to come on.
>> say Snack Daddy is a new special that just came out.
>> That's what I wanted to say.
>> Yeah.
>> Streaming on YouTube. His last special was super funny, and I don't see any reason why this one wouldn't be just as funny, maybe better. Maybe better. Maybe better. That's going to be hard to top the last one. Live shows everywhere, dates everywhere. Go to michaeljo.com >> Perfect. Everything's there.
>> for the dates. Yeah, Rudy?
>> Yeah, I'm on >> Out with Michael.
>> Yeah, all the dates with Michael, plus I'm on punch up now, so check me out punchup.live.rudypovich.
>> All right, what do you got in the news department?
>> All right. Well, this is really scary, and not too far from the studio. Up in Valencia at a Whole Foods, a woman who was shopping was subjected to a man who not only exposed himself to her. In the footage, the suspect is seen approaching the female shopper as she kneels down to get something from the shelf, and then he lowers his pants and proceeds to expose his genitals and push them against her ear.
While holding what appears to be a cell phone, like I guess he recorded it.
Authorities with the LASD are asking for the public's assistance in identifying this individual. So, please, Corolla fans, get out there and find this turd bag. The California Post reached out to the Whole Foods, and the company provided a statement which read, quote, "We are deeply concerned about the incident and that occurred at our Valencia store on March 23rd. The safety and well-being of our customers is our top priority, and we are cooperating fully with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department in their investigation.
The suspect is believed to be a man in his mid-30s. He was dressed in a denim shirt and jeans." Did you see this video yet?
>> Yeah, I'm watching it now. Yeah.
>> [clears throat] >> Okay.
So, like, if a man was in my space even before he pulled his dong out, I would be like, "Why are you so close to me in the grocery store?"
>> Yeah, I I agree. First off, this guy looks like he has a musk.
>> Ew.
>> You know what I mean? Like, I think you could smell this guy coming coming your way. There are people who have no radar dish on them, and they they they kind of go through life like they're like looking at their phone and stuff. Like, my head is on a swivel. I'm seeing cars that don't look right and dogs that don't look right and people that don't belong, and I'm always like that. Well, I'll see people walking I Well, not even looking >> across the street.
>> Yes, they look at their phone while they're crossing the street. But, there's also those people, like, if I walk with somebody >> Mhm.
>> and we're just taking a walk, I will like see in the distance. I'll go, "Let's cross the street. This dude back I don't like the way this guy's walking" or whatever. They go, "What are you What are you talking about?" You know? And I I realize they don't like notice at all that the person's like drunk or walking weird or looks like they have mental disorders. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah.
>> that I have to say that women are guilty of this, I think more often than men.
And if I am constantly like driving into my children, you know, the things that you repeat that you feel like nobody listens to you, but they're getting better at it of like situational awareness.
>> Um >> is kind of situational awareness.
>> kind of a weird combo for women. I'm 100% that way. I have a hypervigilance and and I notice everything for good or for bad, and it keeps me out of car accidents, but it also disturbs me when people are talking outside the studio. So, it's it's it's something you can't shut off.
>> Yep.
>> But, um women need it more >> Yes.
>> and they don't have [clears throat] it as much.
>> Which shocks me because >> weird because they're so tuned up with kids. They can hear the kid coughing in the other room at night. So, >> proven to be like hormonal though. Like there is like a hormone and like brain balance when you have a baby, how a baby's cry for the first 2 years will literally make you crazy because you know that you need to do something about it.
>> Yeah, yeah. But, I'm saying like in general, it's it's for them to notice uh with the kids.
>> or general, it should be for them like because we are the I and I say lesser sex with quotations, meaning physical strength >> Yeah, not according to Whoopi Goldberg.
>> then we should maybe be more vigilant when we're walking down the street and not look at the phone because we need to preempt anything that could potentially happen to us.
>> Yes, I >> raised that way, and I'm trying to raise my girls that way. It just makes sense to me.
>> I Every When I'm walking down the street, every car I come up on, I have thoughts about.
>> You should have been a spy.
>> cars. I notice all movement, everything that's different. I I notice everything.
>> Are you a spy?
>> [laughter] >> Now, this >> Comedian and podcast host would be a really good CIA cover.
>> This >> [laughter] >> this poor woman actually she's going to come home and she's going to say to her husband, "You'll never guess what happened." And he's going to go, "They're out of capers?"
>> [laughter] >> No.
"Why are you crying? Because they're out of capers?"
And if the guy's really tuned out after she's done saying the crazy man put a dick in my ear, he's going to fold the newspaper and go, "Well, there you go."
>> [laughter] >> That's what I'm picturing.
>> I just feel >> where the real trauma kicks in.
>> Not to victim shame, but please ladies, be more situationally aware. And also, chase a [ __ ] down if he does this to you.
>> Yeah.
>> A guy in Little Italy smacked my butt once and I chased him two blocks and then yelled at a cop to grab him.
>> Really?
>> Yeah. And I'm not even a runner.
>> You have a sense of self-worth that far exceeds society's. No, I mean that's good. I You know, I was thinking about the other >> smart about it. Like if it's a bigger, scarier guy, like maybe don't chase him.
He could have a weapon. But like a lot of times when men exhibit this behavior, >> Mhm.
>> I don't know, maybe he gets off by women reacting appalled by it or something.
But if you're like, "Don't touch me. How dare you?" They could have probably stopped the guy.
>> I'm going to say he's done it before.
>> Mhm.
>> And I'm going to say they're going to find him cuz there's just a camera everywhere now.
And so good. All right, what else you got?
>> All right. So, apparently you can do a lot of things in the NBA, but if you say that Pride Month is bad, then you're going to get canned.
>> Mhm.
>> Did you see the story about the Bulls waving Jaden Ivey after he called NBA's Pride Month celebration, {quote} unrighteous. We have some video of it right here.
>> The world can proclaim LGBTQ.
Right? They have They have They proclaim Pride Month in the NBA.
They proclaim it.
They They show it to the world.
They say, "Come Come uh come join us for Pride for Pride Month to celebrate unrighteousness."
They proclaim it.
They proclaim it on the billboards.
They proclaim it in the streets.
Unrighteousness.
So, how is it that that one can't speak righteousness? How is it one that How How How are they to say that uh You You Man, this man is crazy.
>> So, the Chicago Bulls announced that they were making the move on Monday saying it was, quote-unquote, due to conduct detrimental to the team.
>> Yeah, yeah. I have So, okay. It Things. Thoughts.
It's weird that sports got more woke than other branches of our society.
Like, ESPN is a lot more woke than ESPN could be more woke than CNN.
>> At this point.
>> At this point.
>> But not MSNBC.
>> No.
>> It's teetering.
>> No, but but CNN changed course a little and put on alternative voices and they you know, their idea By the way, I do like It's sort of like The View and CNN.
Their idea of fair and balanced is we'll put one guy in between three super angry chicks or maybe five angry chicks and then he can try to defend himself and now we have a debate. It's like, yeah, it's still tilted pretty pretty hard, but all right.
Um, sports got woke and and I think it's an overcompensation type situation. Like traditionally sports were violence amongst each other and domestic I mean, look, the whole thing is uh the the baseline for sports is we are taking guys that are the the worst student in their high school and making them millionaires and a lot of them are bad dudes. You know what I mean? So, that's the base. Then there was a lot of sexism and there was racism and there were it was just it was everything that was wrong with society you could find in in sports. And I think the purveyors of sports overcompensate because of it in the other direction.
>> kind of selective in that compensation cuz they don't get onto the guy that might have an illegal weapon or committed the domestic violence charge.
>> No, not at all. They do.
>> dude.
>> Yeah, because they're very keen to want to be accepted in our society and and and it's also a culture. If you have 70% of the roster is black, having a gun or whatever is not a not a big deal in their world.
>> Jesus.
>> Yeah. Well, they do tend to love Jesus more than the white man, I I think, statistically. But the point is this.
Yes, they fire him. It we all know what they're doing. This is woke [ __ ] Now, here's the whole thing about the LGBT whatever community.
I I look at it the same as I look at uh the Muslim community.
>> Mhm.
>> Which is you can be Muslim and or you can be gay. You can't be gay and Muslim, but you could be Muslim or you can be gay. And I have zero thoughts about it and zero problems with it. And I'm also going to say as much as these [ __ ] would argue this point >> Mhm.
>> America's extremely tolerant to people and their different ideas and their different proclivities and their different ways of life and their different ways of expressing love.
We don't want to be force-fed your [ __ ] all [ __ ] day.
>> Yeah.
>> That's what we push back against. We don't push back against Muslims, we push back against mandatory Muslim recognition night at the WNBA or whatever the [ __ ] you're planning next.
The LGBT community, fine. You guys have an agenda. And so the thing is is go be gay, go be trans, go be whatever the [ __ ] you want.
But now you're going to insist that we got to fly the gay flag in front of the courthouse and now you can [ __ ] off because I don't want to be part of it.
You understand? I'm going to be indoctrinated into your [ __ ] So >> the NBA needs to have an entire month.
>> And and by the way, like the Muslims, it's not we just want people to tolerate us and live it No, you want to foist an agenda. That's what you're doing. If you don't There's a version of quietly going about your business. This ain't it.
You don't need to have the gay flag, you don't need to have pride month, you don't need to do the thing on the lawn of the White House. You don't Just go about your life.
>> Yeah.
>> And then people push back and then you get to claim that they're homophobic and you feel threatened. No, no, it's because you won't shut up about it.
>> And what's funny, too, is in a separate video he talked about how Catholicism is a false religion and Catholics weren't like, "Fire him."
>> Right. And so the NBA >> But they responded to the whole situation.
>> about the gay community has to pretend they do just like the NFL and all these all these organizations. Just like they had to do it with Black Lives Matter.
Yeah, so and by the way, if you notice all these groups, they're there to agitate. They're not there to be left alone and peacefully practice either their religion or sucking dick.
>> No, they want you to tolerate like they want you to tolerance and their version of tolerance is complete and total acceptance and also doing whatever they tell you to do.
>> I'll take a step further.
>> Uh-huh.
>> I think if you did everything they wanted you to do, they would never it would never end.
>> [laughter] >> I would it would never end. It wouldn't it would never >> It's like an abusive relationship.
>> It's it's like it's a it's a it's entire leftist thing. It's like, here's what we want. Here and and so you look at the whole gay thing. They go, "We just want to be left alone and be married and have the same rights as as whatever."
>> We were born this way.
>> All right.
>> Yeah.
>> Every time you give them something, what do they do? Well, uh we want some 9-ft he-she with his [ __ ] tucked between his legs to read to your kids Cat in the Hat. And you go, "What? I don't want to do that." AND THEY GO, "OH, HO HO.
>> [laughter] >> YOU'RE HOMOPHOBIC, ARE YOU?"
>> After some people accept that, then they're like, "Well, we actually want to transition your 12-year-old."
>> Yeah, and blacks, gays, all those groups, they're all doing the same [ __ ] which is you're fine. We're in a good society. Go do whatever you want. Oh, no, no.
No, no, no. They keep pushing, they keep agitating. And when I'm telling you when people step back and look at these moments, it's not going to be about just give them what they want.
>> Mhm.
>> Uh what they want is capitulation by you, but it's also they're just going to keep going. It it's a it's a psychodynamic.
And it's basically [ __ ] They all they want to do is complain about everything, and they want to be victims all the time. So, they're going to keep pushing until some point you go, "Now, I don't want those books in my public library." And they go, "Oh, okay. Now we're fighting."
Cuz that's the plan.
>> Yeah.
>> The plan is to fight, not to be left alone. So, I [ __ ] the NBA.
And And they don't give a [ __ ] about gay pride. And by the way, >> I wonder if it was the NBA's decision or the Bulls' decision, because according to this Fox Sports report, it was the Bulls that that was announcing the move.
>> I get it, but no nobody wants any of this anywhere.
But, you can do it whenever I I just want to go to the sporting event. I don't want to see any of the signage for any of this [ __ ] >> to see a good game.
>> That's it.
>> And I guess, I don't know. I'm not really into basketball, but he was averaging over 11 points a game.
>> That's a >> And five rebounds per game before this release. Is that good?
>> 11 points is pretty good. I don't I don't follow it closely enough, either, but 11 points is pretty good. Now, we'll see if ESPN, who cares so much about the plight of the black man, we'll see if they rush his defense. [laughter] Cuz I guarantee if a white guy fired the black guy, ESPN loves himself some black dudes. Let's see if they defend him, cuz I bet they don't say [ __ ] cuz they're cowards.
>> Maybe another team should pick him up.
>> Yeah.
>> You know?
>> Oh, yeah.
>> I mean, if he's I I like people getting jobs based on their qualities and merit, not not sympathy hires, but, you know, that might be a good PR move for another team to pick him up.
>> Nevada's got a team called the Running Christians.
>> Really?
>> No.
That'd be a good name.
>> I was like, I didn't know Nevada even had Does Nevada have a basketball team?
>> No, they don't. But, they're going to. I mean, they've got the Raiders, they've got the Knights, uh they've got a they've got the A's, they've got the Oakland A's.
>> The only pro team in Oklahoma is a basketball team.
>> Oh, really?
>> Thunder.
>> Mhm.
>> Weird. Yeah.
>> Nebraska doesn't have any.
>> Nebraska But, I mean, they have the Huskers. They got good college football.
All right, they got good college basketball. Apparently, they have a good bowling team, too. That's what they were bragging about last week.
>> got the Sooners.
>> We do. We do. And the Cowboys, but Boomer.
>> Mhm.
>> Okay, next story.
This hysterical moment, this lady has some dance moves like I wish I had after a couple of cocktails. Footage shows a Miss Grand Thailand competition contestant, Dara Thong Yu Thong, who was frantically dancing in the preliminary rounds of the competition wearing nothing but a swimsuit as well as other contestants. So, we figured you would like this, Adam. She quickly captures the attention of thousands of people watching out line online. She showed her aggressive hip-hop dance move without any concern for what people think. I guess this was like at the beginning and they're all supposed to show a little bit of her personality.
She's like fully All [snorts] of the memes around this were kind of funny.
>> It's kind of interesting that Thai women are very light and she isn't light-skinned.
And And there's a lot of Asian with whitening stuff going on. Do you know all about that?
>> No.
>> There Indian. There's a the whole thing with Indian women lightening their skin.
>> That's sad.
>> Yeah.
>> But like for like beauty looks? Like they think cuz it's prettier or because it's just a trend?
>> a lot of night time jogging.
>> [snorts] >> Like they think it's like a beauty Is that like one of the beauty trends?
>> Yeah, everything women do is a beauty something.
>> Just don't over-pluck your eyebrows, guys. This isn't the only hilarious thing that happened at this competition.
>> Do Thai women lighten themselves like Indian women? It's a big They have all these creams and all In Indian women, it's a big thing.
>> Interesting.
>> Yeah.
>> She was one of 77 women representing all the different provinces in the national pageant, and some people are saying that they love her because she looks like she's genuinely fun to be with. She's the life of the party, and God forbid a girl does what she likes on the dance floor.
>> Was she Now, you watch that tape again.
Was she two shades lighter than every other woman on that stage? I should say darker.
>> think she was darker. [clears throat] >> Darker, yeah.
Every She was darker than every other woman on that stage and there were 20 women on that stage, right?
>> There's a lot of women on that stage.
>> So >> I love this. I love how we're watching it.
>> It's [laughter] like >> They're all light and she's darker, which I'm saying >> like she has a nice tan.
>> I know, but they're doing something.
>> That's so mean.
>> have a nice tan.
>> I like to have a tan.
Is that weird?
>> That's your white privilege.
>> [laughter] >> All right, so let's say what they say in India. So, I'm saying this may go along with it.
>> Oh.
>> She may be a rebel.
>> She like she's like a rebel with the skin tone, rebel with the dance moves.
>> Skin lightening is prevalent in Thailand.
Driven by historical, social, and commercial factors similar to India.
Jesus Christ, how was I such a D- minus student?
D- minus.
>> Cuz they didn't test on things like beauty pageants, skin lightening their skin.
>> testing.
>> That was not a category in your world history class.
>> lightening is prevalent in Thailand. So, these women are lightening themselves and the dance to the beat of her own drummer woman is not playing that.
>> Her name is Dera Thorn. I hope I'm saying that right.
>> She's doing her own thing and I argue that her own thing gets into the skin part, too, which she's not lightening herself.
>> I agree cuz watch it one more time.
I Every woman on that stage has the same skin tone except for the one who's dancing her little hiney off.
>> [laughter] >> And it's it's in for Thai women >> her to do that in heels.
>> For Thai women, they look really light.
>> [music] >> Right?
All right. Thai women in beauty pageants, like these are these women are kind of milky light.
>> Um, did you see the Thailand Did you see the one This wasn't the only >> done any sex tourist stuff?
>> [laughter] >> No.
>> All right. Well, I have.
And I can tell you this is unnatural.
>> It's okay.
>> Mhm.
>> I love how they were like, "The assignment is to dance." And she's the only one who took it seriously. The others are just like bopping around.
>> Yeah.
>> Like And but this also wasn't the only funny moment from this pageant. There was another contestant who lost her teeth while giving an answer in the Q&A.
>> No way.
>> Yeah.
>> What?
>> She like fully lost her like fake pretty teeth.
>> Oh my god.
>> And like had to like pop them back in.
The crowd didn't turn on her though.
They applauded. They thought it was great that she like popped them back in and kept giving the answer. I mean, so clearly we need a Miss Congeniality 3 that is solely based on Thai beauty pageants.
>> We also need an all-natural Thai beauty pageant where they're not lightening themselves.
>> we just do all-natural beauty pageants where none of the contestants anywhere in the world don't do anything fake.
That'd be nice.
>> Oh, all right.
>> we go. Here's the teeth.
>> Wow.
They do weird light lighten themselves.
I'm sorry. I'm still on it, but I don't know if that's like fake teeth or like a the weird veneer grill thing.
>> I don't It looked like it was like a dentures almost. Like the glue popped out.
>> was stuff under >> No, they started to pop out and then she kind of took it out, turned around, and put it >> think she has any teeth?
>> I think she might, but maybe they're covered. I don't know.
>> No, so that was like a grill.
>> Really?
>> Yeah, versus dentures.
>> I thought a grill was like shiny.
>> That's what black people do.
What Thai people do it. They make it look natural.
>> Oh, okay. But it's still called a grill?
>> I'm I don't know what >> [laughter] >> I'm referencing a thing where teeth go over things go over your teeth.
>> Yes, I don't think that she was wearing a grill in the beauty pageant. I think she was wearing fake teeth.
>> All right, I I used the term grill.
That's anyway. Okay. We'll figure it [snorts] out off the air.
>> Loud talking and Alisha stepping on his point is his favorite thing.
>> Go to adamcarolla.com for all the live shows. April 10th in Salt Lake City and then um also in San Diego on the 12th and then I'm all over the place. Phoenix. Check out some new stuff we got the merch store. Go to adamcarolla.com for all the live stuff there. Alisha Krauss, what do we got for you?
>> Uh just on the socials and maybe in a city near you soon.
>> And uh also Jay Mewes uh The Murdoch Mysteries, you can check that out as well wherever you find finer podcasts.
And until next time, I'm Adam Carolla, Jay Mewes, and uh Alisha Krauss, and me. Say mahalo.
>> We have it so good in America, we're just canceling words right now. Not even not the racial slur. That [ __ ] got to be gone forever ago. I'm talking about everyday words. Like on a plane, you the flight attendant can't use the word turbulence anymore.
They can say rough air and they can say light bumps. Light bumps? That sounds like a negative review for a coke dealer.
>> Jonathan Kite is on the Adam Carolla show.
>> Yeah, I don't like all the nomenclature stuff either at all. I mean, I didn't even like when flight cockpit became flight deck. I mean, come on.
>> [laughter] >> Yeah.
>> What about master bedroom? You're not allowed to say anymore.
>> You're not You're not allowed to say uh grandfathered in. Oh, yeah.
>> did hear about that one.
>> I looked them up because I was trying to write something and um it you know it's you know you're not allowed to say gypsy you can't say gipped.
>> Oh right.
>> they gipped him out of it you know.
>> Stop because it's derogatory towards gypsies.
>> Gypsies yeah.
>> I think in that department you can probably still get away with paddy wagon.
>> You probably yeah.
>> And you can get away with jerry-rigged which is German.
>> Oh yeah right.
>> involving the Germans.
>> Yeah screw those guys we can >> Also >> [laughter] >> there is a kind of a there's kind of a a weird thing that they don't really there's there's a rule which is like you go all right who are the minorities in this country and you go like okay you got black that's 13% of the country there and you got Hispanic that's 31% of the country there.
What about Asian? They're 4% not now they're not written. Well but I thought we're talking about minorities here there's less than half they're they're less than half of yeah I know they're doing good.
>> But have you seen how well they're doing?
>> kicking ass so not leave me alone.
>> They're 1% >> They're not really go to UCLA.
>> Walk around.
>> Remember how brief the stop Asian hate campaign was?
>> Yeah well they don't want it I'll tell you why the Asians flourish here. And so so you kind of go well look is this offensive or is this not offensive offensive and you go well how are they doing? Well Germany what have they got? They got Porsche Audi BMW they're fine right they're fine. Okay so make fun of them and I'm like well I think the rule should be don't make fun of anyone or make fun of everyone but not feel feel what their annual income is to see how they're doing.
Here's what the Asians do and and you can you can tell and what they've always done and and I don't think they they don't even like I [clears throat] think Asians stopped the stop Asian hate thing.
>> Oh.
>> Because here's what Asians do.
They come in here and they go they get the 10-year-old Asian kid and they go uh what's his name? Well, it was Hisao. What's it now?
Joe. Walter. Blend in. Go. Don't have anyone try to pronounce your name. Don't correct. It's not Hisao, it's Hisao.
Don't do any of it. Your name is Joe.
Your name is Sally. Go. Go blend in. Go kick ass. Go take over. Don't march.
Don't look for a pride day. Don't tell people how to [ __ ] pronounce >> Get straight A's and play golf.
>> Just play golf. Play Get Get straight A's. Play golf. Kick ass. Take over. Do not [ __ ] boast. Don't be loud. Don't wear jewelry. Don't drive, you know, a Cadillac. Just blend and you can kick ass. But the second you start marching and having Asian pride day and wearing Get a bullhorn on the campus. You're standing out now.
>> I've never seen an Asian pride parade.
>> There isn't.
They just go quietly blend in and don't have people struggle over how to pronounce your name. Now, the blacks go the opposite. They go your name is now Nakisha. And it's like okay, everyone's going to have trouble with that and you're going to correct everybody and then they're going to go I don't want to hire you cuz I don't want to be correcting. I don't know how to [ __ ] pronounce your name. Don't do that. Get a basic one syllable easy name. Go blend in. No Rolexes. No diamonds.
But you go and you kick ass and you'll own all that [ __ ] >> When you look at the Asians do >> the immigration when the immigration for Asians you know they look at the top 10 baby names of the year, you know? It's like wow, we got a lot more Joes this year.
>> Joes and Sallys. [laughter] >> Joe and Sally, yeah.
>> And no Asian pride anything. No movement of trying to take back. No Just you just go kick >> Chinese New Year.
>> That's all we got.
>> It's a It's a hell of a party.
>> That's all. There's nothing.
>> us money.
>> It's good luck.
>> give out money. So like of course they're going to be successful.
>> Yeah. All right. What was our story?
>> Oh, well, we can talk about how Karine Jean-Pierre has now switched her political affiliation to independent.
>> Oh.
>> Yeah, so the former Biden White House press secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, KJP as I like to call her, on Wednesday revealed that she was registering as an independent and announced a forthcoming book about her time in the tumultuous administration. So, apparently, this is the best part though, all of these Biden insiders are speaking to the media, but on anonymity only, and they are lighting up their like little group chats because they're afraid of what she's going to say about them and Biden, obviously, is the house that's starting this investigation of like who knew what when.
>> But when these press secretaries leave, and they always do, when was the last time that one of them left with a bombshell to be like, "Wow, we didn't know that." Or we didn't assume that.
When was the last cuz they all write They all >> They go on speakers tours. They make so much money doing this.
>> money. They're doing this job. It's like somebody who plays sports just for the sneaker deals.
>> Yeah.
>> You're like, it's a thankless job.
Everybody hates you, but you're doing this so that you can make money in the long run.
>> a lot of people in the West Wing hated her because she liked to be on camera, but obviously, she did a really shitty job answering questions for the Biden administration, and she didn't do the managerial work >> don't think that's Policy aside, I think, you know, I think any job for for Biden, for Trump, for Obama, for Clinton, it's it's a bad job >> Oh, the press secretary >> Yes. Well, >> I actually think it'd be the most fun because you know everybody's going to hate you anyway, so why not?
>> what I mean. I go, you're going to get your your just your entire life is a is a comment section on Reddit where people are just trolling you. Like nobody likes you.
>> True. The press doesn't like you. People in the administration don't like you.
>> Well, I, you know, I don't think we can hold against them that they basically lie for a living because they have to lie for a living because >> Well, what if you just went out like if you just went out there and you just went I I took I took a shot of sodium pentothal and I found out I had brain cancer and two three weeks to live. So, ask away. Is Joe Biden is he addled? Is he affected mentally? You'd be like, well, obviously you've seen the tape. He doesn't [ __ ] know where he is half the time.
>> You know what she said?
>> worry everyone else is basically running the White House but he's not so don't worry but the part you should worry about is they're all crazy leftist. So, you thought Joe was in the middle of the road. Joe is in the middle of the road.
We literally have to get him out of the middle of the road. He doesn't know where he is but he's got a bunch of lefty lunatics >> a truck that won't get out of the way for him.
>> Right. He's parked in front of Corolla's studio. He won't move. [laughter] All right. So, any other questions? Like, well, no, of course you go Joe's 100%.
We just had a long talk. My problem is I need roller skates to keep up with that guy.
>> That's literally an abbreviation of of what she told Don Lemon by the way. Who Lemon asked her like, hey, you know, how is the president's cognitive abilities?
This was back in 2022.
>> It's great.
>> Karine Jean-Pierre oh, we have it too.
>> Yeah, we have it.
>> He's the president of the United States.
>> Does the president have the stamina physically and mentally do you think to continue on even after 2024?
>> Don, you're asking me this question. Oh my gosh. He's the president of the United States. You know, it he I can't even keep up with it. We just got back from New Mexico. We just got back um from California. Uh that is >> Why is your voice so high?
>> I I that is a question that shouldn't be even ASKED.
>> I'M BUYING COKE OFF HIM. But also it's a weird So, here's how you know, the premise is weird of her answer. He's the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. THAT'S like saying your your head coach just went 0 and 13. Should we fire him?
He's the head coach [laughter] to the Chargers.
>> That's your answer to saying. You're answering that nobody's >> Yeah.
>> It's not even a question. Yes, he's the president.
>> yeah. Nobody was questioning that. I'm saying nobody was questioning that.
>> You got to laugh, and then it becomes it becomes laughable. Yeah.
>> if she can't if she couldn't keep up with Joe Biden in 2022, then maybe she needs to see a doctor. But, she's not moving to the right. She is saying that she's actually she felt like the Democratic Party betrayed Joe Biden. The description of the book says it's set to be released in October, and it will look at the quote three weeks that led to Joe Biden's abandoning his bid for a second term and the betrayal of the Democratic Party that led to his decision.
>> Well, Joe Biden isn't anything. It's just the people who work the auto pen.
>> Yeah.
>> Sort of with him, and that's all that's all you really needed. Also, um you know when they go like, well, you got to have the auto pen. You know, I was thinking about it cuz you know, the president has got so many documents and so many things.
When I wrote like my first or second book, they shipped 5,000 book plates, they called them.
>> Mhm.
>> 5,000.
>> You got that right.
>> 5,000 little adhesive backed 3x4 squares that you would sign, and then they'd stick them on the back of the book, right? I didn't get 800. I got 5,000.
And they just my whole life for the next 3 weeks was I boxed I I'd have a stack like 4 in high, and I'd just be sitting in bed watching TV just sign, sign, sign. I wherever I was, I'd be standing in the kitchen eating, you know, sign, sign. Like everywhere I I wouldn't leave the house without a stack of these things. It was a pain in the ass, but I didn't have an auto pen. Like you you can do it.
>> That's funny to think of you in the kitchen just with a feedbag on. That's right.
>> [laughter] >> I had my nanny feeding me, but yeah, yeah.
>> No, but you're right. I I when we would do >> lips when she asked.
>> She goes, hips or lips? I was like, no lips. Yeah, I'm hungry. She but the thing is like you the auto pen is so funny. What is his signature even look like? And the and as he declined [clears throat] it what did it become?
>> And here's the other thing, too. I I realize if you I go out on the road, I bring all my books. I've told the story a million times. I just bring my books that game and I I sell them as merch.
>> Yeah.
>> I'm trying to get rid of them, basically. That's why I'm doing it. But I stand there in line after the second show and the first show and they people come up to me and they >> want your autograph, yeah.
>> If you took the 25 people that brought a book and just open them up out in the parking lot and put a flashlight at the signatures would look ma- marginally different because I'm just kind of rattling them off, rattling them off.
>> You you'd go the same guy signed all these, but the first one and the third one and the 17th one are kind of different than one of So, when they're all exactly dead nuts on down to the millimeter >> It's a stamp.
>> That's an auto pen.
>> That's a really good like way for us to see. Maybe that's one of the things that Congress can investigate.
>> Oh, they did. No, they >> Yeah, I feel like every time I'm writing my name, it's like slightly different.
>> It's going to vary because you're human being and you're in a little different position and sometimes you're not even looking down. Sometimes you're just signing and taking a picture.
>> Nice to meet you, John." And then you're scribbling.
>> [laughter] >> Autograph hounds, they used to say that the clearer the signature >> Oh.
>> the more it was worth.
>> Uh-huh.
>> So, that there's sort of not not I don't mean I don't mean mentally, but late stage, you know, in the beginning when you'd get like the Beatles to sign, things were much clearer than if they when they had signed a billion things.
>> scribble, scribble.
>> Yeah, right. Interesting.
>> sense, too, cuz then it's an older artifact as well, most likely, too. So, it's like it's double. It's so it's like, "Yes, Paul McCartney and first album."
>> If I was Joe Biden, I would just sign a JB.
>> Yeah.
>> Justin Bieber?
>> Yeah.
>> Come on. Come on, man. [laughter] Come on, man. Just JB.
>> So >> I are the same.
>> Now there's going to be big auto pen thing because you're going to go literally the last day you pardoned a bunch of people, but did you pardon a bunch of people or did they pardon a bunch of people?
>> Well, we all know he pardoned his son.
>> There's they.
Yeah, but is Jill Biden in charge of the auto pen because they go she was kind of running things or Ron Klain or whoever in the cabinet was kind of calling the shots and he was kind of out of it at that point. So, is that Jill calling >> Well, according to the Tapper book, they're saying that there members of the cabinet that spoke to Tapper that were like we didn't even see him and we didn't know what was going on. We were hearing from Klain and like all of these other inner circle staffers.
>> Well >> So, I think it is it is a legitimate question. I think like this could be a it should be a real scandal.
>> It should be.
>> But nobody wants to address it.
>> to turn the page.
>> And Karine Jean-Pierre wants to be get a New York Times best seller out of that one.
>> Yeah, my feeling and it's kind of funny.
I mean Biden he really bucked himself and I'll tell you why and and I have been I've been a broken record about this subject, which is sort of affirmative action as we used to call it or DEI as they call it now.
Look, it's fine if you run a fast food place and you're in a neighborhood and it's a predominantly black neighborhood and you go, "Why don't we take a couple of black guys and put them up front at the counter and put the Mexican guy behind the grill cuz they could represent the the community."
But when it comes to really important jobs, just get the best, which can be black and it can be a woman and it can be a lesbian. You're you're shrinking your pool. Like if I just said, "Look, I need [snorts] a roofer, but he's got to be albino."
Then you someone would go it's not a job for him but like people go good luck finding a good albino roofer and then if I found an albino roofer there'd be a good chance he might not be the best.
>> And this is how we got Kamala Harris as our vice president.
>> because we shrunk the pool. So Joe said I'm going to have a vice president that's going to be a woman and it's going to be a woman of color and it's like okay, going to be a woman you've taken half the candidates more than half the candidates out because traditionally it's more men you know politics or generals or whatever you do.
>> Because women are more risk averse than >> Yeah, I >> That's literally why there's more men in politics because women tend to be more risk averse.
>> Yeah, if you just go look, I'm hiring a plumber but it's got to be a woman I'd be like oh you just took 85% of plumbers and you put throw them out.
>> Weird stat actually it's actually closer to 99% oh yeah cuz I give campus speeches on like all the different roles of men and women and the beauty in the differences of men and women and like literally plumbing and electricians it's like less than 2% are women.
>> I was trying to be magnanimous and I was thinking about as I was saying I >> I thought you were going to say you're taking 100% God and you're just going to have [ __ ] in your toilet.
>> [laughter] >> Well, what I was trying to do is make it crossover to Kamala which is yes, there black women Condoleezza Rice you know, there's qualified black women out there there have been historically but you've taken the lion's share of the people who could perform this task and you got rid of them mathematically. So now you're left with a smaller group and now you go I need a woman yeah, okay and she's got to be black and it's like okay, now we're really getting finite here and granular and then you pick one and I go well now be careful because she may not be great at this job.
>> Turns out.
>> And it turns out she was bad at the job and it turns out you ruined your next four years because she wasn't up to it and Karine Jean-Pierre, you went we want a black woman and she was up there going I'm the first lesbian black woman who's ever done this job. Great. Applaud.
But be careful, she may not be the best at this.
>> Oh, and he wanted to do it with the Supreme Court, too.
>> Right. Right.
>> And same thing. Every time.
>> Right. And he inhabited his cabinet with like look, there's going to be two considerations. One is can they be head of the joint chief of staff or the head of the whatever, but the other bigger one is are they gay? Are they black? Are they woman? And it's like well then you're not going to get the best group to do this.
And that's what he did and then he would get out there and he'd go he'd brag all the time. He'd go this is the most diverse staff we've ever and all and it's like >> As if the question is like >> Yeah, but they're not you got Janet Yellen who's like one of my mom's friends from when I was in high school who seems totally inept and way overhead. Like a lot of these people, Mayorkas, they seem incompetent, inept and sort of over their head but it's because they never should have been there in the first place and also and as a citizen of this country, like basically I went on Tucker Carlson. We got to find this Andrew. I was I went and did Tucker Carlson's show it was like four years ago and I just said Joe Biden is essentially a drunken airline pilot and we're all on the plane and if he wants to go get drunk and fly alone, that's his business but you're pointing incompetent people while we're on the [ __ ] I'm on row 18 back here. No, that's not fine with me. You're you're incompetent people in the cockpit and I'm on the [ __ ] plane.
>> Right.
>> And so is all of America. All right.
Sorry.
>> [laughter] >> One more.
>> One more story?
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. So communist country of Vietnam has now dumped their decades-old two-child policy. So, China used to have the one-child policy, and then they realized, "Oops, this is a problem."
Russia apparently has a shortage of women and children. This is why they were like taking them from Ukraine, allegedly.
But, Vietnam is now facing declining youth population and a growing gender imbalance with 111 boys born for every 100 girls, and apparently it's been going down since like 2013.
>> boys for every girl?
>> 111 boys for every 100 girls.
>> it's like 10 more.
>> version of the Beach Boys.
>> Yeah.
>> That's right.
>> 111 boys for every >> [laughter] >> 100 girls.
Going down to Saigon, going to get some [ __ ] >> Beach Boys.
>> [laughter] [clears throat] >> Delta Mekong, here we come. Yeah, okay.
>> All righty.
>> [laughter] >> The study showed that the population of citizens, I guess this is where the concern comes in, they just 15 to 64 is now up to 70%. So, I don't know how much of that is over the age of 60, but their like average age of living is not that high, so they're concerned about all of their population dying off, and they don't have enough people to repopulate.
>> I'm just going to say to everybody, if I ever get to any kind of position of power, and someone starts floating the ideas of like, "What if we >> [gasps] >> started working a deal where there was more girls or less boys or more boys and less girls?" And I go, "You ever see those sci-fi movies where the robots are everyone's best friend in Act One?" We we know how this You know how this turns out, don't you? You just got to leave people alone. They'll procreate however fashion. They Some Some people have seven kids, some people have no kids, some people will be gay, some people have two girls, some people have three boys. When you start fiddling, >> It's creepy.
>> it always it There's some point 40 years, 80 years down the road where you wish you'd left it alone.
>> For them, it's been 30 years, cuz they started this policy in 1993.
So, it's more than a little more than 30 years >> my Tucker What? When was this clip with Tucker? Would you know it? Is there a date on it?
We don't I had to be three or four years ago. Four years All right, so four years ago. And by the way Jake Tapper and all you folks Jean-Pierre and all you folks are like, "Well, nobody told us uh the guy was in strong mental decline." Like, you don't have to tell anybody that. Like, I I Here's what I'm saying.
If if I'm walking across the street and there's somebody who has dementia and is elderly walking on the other side of street and not even talking, I can look across the street and go, "That guy's got something bad going on. I can see the way his face looks." Like, that's You don't need to be told. No one would I wouldn't have to interview him.
>> Well, and Tapper now that he's trying to like see why he's like, "Oh, well, it was the the greatest scam It was the greatest unsuccessful cover-up of all time because as everybody was covering it up, the American people could see what actually that was going [laughter] on."
>> sure. Yeah. All right. Is it me with the airplane pilot thing? All right, here it is.
>> How much of what they say, the woke people, the people in charge President and his acolytes do they do they really mean?
>> Four years ago.
>> if you quote Martin Luther King and they denounce you as a white supremacist for doing that which happens.
I happen to know.
Do they really mean it when they say that?
>> No, I mean I I can't believe I certainly I don't think Joe Biden means anything he says. I I don't think there's anything that comes out of his mouth that he means.
And uh you know, when he's talking about Jim Crow 2.0 or he's talking about, you know, certain I heard him the other day saying certain nations are being pulled back or certain states are being pulled back into a Jim Crow where they're going to ask black black people to count jelly beans before they can vote. It's like it's insanity. It's reckless. It's irresponsible. It's sort of insane. It's really sort of the equivalent to your pilot being drunk. Sort of like, "Well, he's not a bad guy."
I know, but he's drunk. He's flying an airplane. "Yeah, so he drink he drinks a little. You you know what I mean? He has a he has a co-pilot." It it is kind of that. You know what I mean? Like, "Well, he doesn't want to kill anybody."
Yeah, I know, but he's a drunken airline pilot. That's kind of that's what Biden is doing. He's just saying horrible devices. This is 4 years This is 4 years ago. I'm saying he doesn't know what he he doesn't know what he's saying.
>> Jean-Pierre was like, "He's the president."
>> Yeah. Oh, that was probably the redhead in there. That She wasn't in yet. Karine Jean-Pierre wasn't in.
>> No, like she They were the same year.
>> Psaki.
>> It was Psaki. Psaki. Really?
>> Cuz if she was Well, this is April '21, so this is more than 4 years ago. Well, I'm saying it's 4 years ago. So, I I think Psaki >> Yeah, you might be right before she went to CNN.
>> Wait a minute, I'm right.
I'm the one who's saying it.
>> No, he said it first.
>> He did?
>> Psaki was in there till 2022. Yeah, that This is before, yeah.
>> Oh, wait a minute. Check the tape. I just totally [laughter] shut cross. I was like, "You went Karine Jean-Pierre was saying blah blah blah."
>> And then he said no she wasn't. And then he said no she wasn't.
>> No, she wasn't.
>> And he said it was the redhead.
>> All right, now we're going to check the tape.
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