In any group of women, social hierarchies naturally form with distinct archetypes: the Queen Bee (dominant leader who rises through competence, status, social intelligence, or fear), Sidekicks (who support the Queen Bee through various roles like empathetic followers, attack dogs, or cowards), Treasurers (who collect information for manipulation), Floaters (independent members who can leave), Pleasers (who desperately seek approval), Targets (scapegoats who absorb group negativity), and Torn Bystanders (who witness toxicity but stay silent for self-preservation). Understanding these dynamics helps individuals recognize toxic patterns and protect themselves in group settings.
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Live Discussion- How to Survive a Girl Group!Added:
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But we'll get through it cuz I don't want to restart the thing over. Okay, there's Okay, we have a few people watching. Hi guys. Make sure when you come in you say hi. We are dissecting my new video called How to Survive a Girl group. So, let me pull my notes up here.
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All right. Let me just I'm just going to have to do this. All right, y'all. So, we are dissecting the new video. It's called How to Survive a Girl Group. So, I I really I had this in my nose for a while because I knew that um eventually I wanted to do this video. Um I wrote this idea down like I want to say like 3 months ago, maybe three or four months ago, so it was always going to be part of the my you know, my little channel, whatever. Um, but I feel like this needed to be this video needed needed to be made. Like I don't think a video like this have been done uh about about girl groups or friend groups or whatever. So, we'll get we'll we'll get into the nitty-gritty. Uh, hi honorable Cenote Cenote. How are you?
Um, hi Christian. Hi Lisa.
Okay, I'm good guys. All right, so let's dig in. So, girl groups, I wanted to make sure that I differentiated between a girl group versus a friend group because there are some genuine friend groups. Like, you guys, there are uh friend groups with just all girls where it's like they're actually all really good people. they actually all really like each other and support each other and there's not like some secret animosity and um you know like they all just secretly hate each other. They're sabotaging each other. There are believe it or not there are friend groups where like they're genuinely friend groups like they're generally friends. They like they actually like each other. They actually support each other. So, I wanted to differentiate between that uh because I mean are there some friend groups where like it's completely toxic and they do all the things that I just talked about? Yes, absolutely. Uh but we'll dissect that too. Um but basically um basically a a girl group is just any space or group uh where or organization where it's like a lot of women come together. So, it's not like you're really there by choice. It's just by chance. Like, you're not you did not handpick these people to be around you.
They just are there because let's say you join like a a BSU or ASU or a volleyball team or uh some type of like gym class or or whatever, right? These are not women that you handpick, but you just you join something and it's a group of women. That's what I call a girl group. But it can also apply to a friend groups because some friend groups are toxic. Even if you chose these people, they could also have these dynamics in the f uh in the friendship. So it's really important that you guys understand the difference. Okay. And um also I wanted to make sure that I let you know guys that let you guys know the importance of a female of female relationships in your life because I think a lot of times I make a lot of videos about um women and women dynamics and things like that. I don't want to come off like I hate women because that is the exact opposite. I don't want to call myself a girl's girl because I I know that term is like you know that term is like dead now. Um but like I I like women. I support women. Like you know I I don't wish harm on any women.
You know like I don't have a hatred of women. I want to make that very clear.
Okay? Cuz if that was the case, I would not be here teaching y'all how to know what these dynamics are and how to protect yourself and blah blah blah blah blah. Okay? Um, but female relationships are needed in your life, especially if you're a woman.
Having a community of women around you that are genuine and supportive is very important because what me although you know having a relationship with a man is good, a man can't always understand you like a woman can. Especially when it comes to certain things, a man cannot be able to comfort you about certain things like a woman can. There's c certain things that only women go through and only talking to a woman about it or only, you know, having women around you that they will be the ones that really understand it, right?
Because a man cannot explain that to you because they're not a woman. So, female relationships are needed. Like, if that was the case, we would not you won't need your mother mother in your life. You you won't need your sisters in your life and things like that. So, female relationships are very much needed as a woman. Okay? So, I wanted to make that very clear. However, if you follow this channel, you know that not all women or girls are safe to be around. Okay? So, and we talk about the little toxic dynamics, toxic traits that women may have, especially when it comes to a group dynamics, social hierarchy in terms of that and everything. Um, so we'll talk about that later. Okay, but there's a difference between a girl group versus a friend group. Okay, friend groups are chosen.
Girl groups mostly are not, but a friend group can have these dynamics, too.
Okay, Christian says, "Yes, I've mistaken girl groups for friendship groups in the past. This video helped me put events from my past into perspective." Yeah, so that's the whole point. That's the whole point of us doing this is like helping you understand these dynamics so you can do better next time. Okay.
So, moving on. Let's start with the girl group. So, you join some type of organization or team or class or something with, you know, with a bunch of women. Um, and then you will realize that or maybe you didn't realize, but in every kind of group like that, a a social hierarchy tends to form. Okay.
And naturally it it just happens because you just have a bunch of people in the same place at the same time together all the time consistently. So eventually a social hierarchy will form. Okay. And why does this happen? Okay. So, I know that, you know, as women, we always hear like, "Oh, well, women are very naturally very competitive and they try to, you know, compete with each other for men and, you know, for introsexual competition and we've just been groomed for this since childhood and blah blah blah." Um, but I beg beg to differ. Um, I think that could be part of it, but I don't think that's completely it because you guys, even when there is a group of women in a space where there are no men or men are not just involved, women are still very competitive and it's not anything about competing for men or for men's attention like at all. So I think I think that you know that kind of um thinking is outdated. I feel like as humans in general whether you're a man or a woman when you get into um where uh spaces where it's like a group of y'all naturally a social hierarchy will form because as humans a lot of people are not leaders. A lot of people do not have a strong sense of identity and footing and they're not grounded in themselves.
And if let by themselves, if they just stay by themselves, they'll be lost.
They'll be directionless. Um they'll be confused. So people need to feel like there's structure and people know what to do, what their role is, how they're going about this situation, what's happening, who's leading it, what am I supposed to do? Otherwise, everybody else will just stand around confused like, okay, what's going on? So, naturally, a structure will form to kind of ground people into that organization or that team or whatever. And with that structure comes hierarchies. So, a leader a leader will take their lead. A lot of times, you know, well, we'll talk about that later, but a leader will form then you have like the little roles start to naturally form and people will, you know, get into different roles basically. Um so that's what we're going to talk about today. Okay. So people find their own role in this group and um you know based on their personality, their confidence, you know how strongly each person knows themselves and as natural as it comes, the most dominant one will rise and then everybody else will fill in the functions. Okay. All right. Moving on.
Okay, let's start with the first role in the group. So, we talked about the queen bee in the video. So, the queen bee is the woman or the girl at the top of the hierarchy. She is the gravitational center of the group. Everything and everyone revolves around her. She sets the tone, the culture, and the energy of the entire group.
You guys know a queen bee. When you see a queen bee, usually in a group, in a girl group, that's usually that one dominant one. Whether it's through status, um, competence or looks or social status or whatever, there's usually some type of queen bee that all the girls kind of uh, revere or kind of look for validation from or kind of follow and copy. And like she sets the tone, whatever she says goes. and like uh whatever. Um you guys have se have you guys seen a queen bee? Like when you go into a girl group and you realize like oh there's like a girl here that like everybody kind of just like they're all scared of or they all follow or they're all like kind of look up to and and look for validation from and like whatever she says goes and everybody else is kind of scared of her and like I don't know. Have y'all seen that?
Yeah. Um but usually there is the queen bee. Okay. So queen bees can rise to power with uh from different type of in different type of ways. And I listed four types. So the first one is the competence one, right? The competent one. So this is like an intelligent person. She's strategic. She's solutionsoriented and the most capable person in the group. Like for example, this type of queen bee is like, let's say y'all are going like on a trip, like a vacation.
She's usually the one that like plans everything and knows where everything is and knows the deals and knows this and that. So naturally, she will take charge of the trip or take take charge of the group and what the group is doing, the itinerary, who knows what, blah blah blah blah blah. So that is the example of the best type of queen bee because this person is like the most competent people like trust her. They know that she's good at what she does. They know they can trust her. They know they can they will not be led astray. So this is the best type of queen bee. But we know that a lot of times it's not based on competence. It's the other stuff I'm about to talk about. So this is the first type of queen bee and it's usually the best type of queen bee. Okay. Um okay Christian said yes but it will be it will fluctuate and cause re cause recess wars in elementary school it will fluctuate. Yes. So I told you about how sometimes the roles change like if a new person comes to the group like the roles might change a little bit but we'll get into that. Okay. Um okay the next type of way that a queen bee arises is through money and status. So, this person's maybe their parents are rich or more welloff than everybody else or um maybe it's not like a childish thing. Maybe like you're you're a grown adult and you just she makes more money than you know the rest of the group or um she's the most elite status, most popular. Um she she just has social power. She has social status. So naturally, if the all the others are not on her level, naturally they will gravitate towards her because being seen with her, it's a good look. It kind of rubs off on them and they they like to be around um somebody who's wealthy and has a high status or who's super popular or whatever, right? So people are shallow like that. They will want to be around the person just because of their status. And um and sometimes with money with status, it could al also just be because you're pretty. Um they feel like if they're around you, you know, they will be around a lot of male attention. So they'll just want to gravitate towards you because of that.
Um so they'll just want to be around. So just money and status. Um people will just naturally just want to be around them uh and rever to them. Number three is social intelligence. So, this person has very good social skills. So, even if she's not the prettiest or has a lot of money or whatever, she just she's popular or she knows how to work the room. She she talks to a lot of people.
She has a lot of contacts. She knows who or she knows the DJ at this club or she knows the guy that throws these types of parties at in that mansion or, you know, she she has the contacts. She has the invitation. She has she knows people that knows people that knows people, right? And she understands social hierarchy very well. She understands social dynamics. She understands manipulation. She understands how people are. So that's how she's able to move through social uh social groups and social networks as good as she does. So naturally, people want to be around this type of person because they know if they hang out with her, they might become popular by association or they will get into the cool parties or they will get into the these type of specific event events or the gallas or or or whatever.
So if you have that kind of status or you're good at this, then like people will naturally want to be around you because they can get something from you.
They can get access if they're around you, right? Yes, people are very shallow like that. Um, so that's another way a queen bee arises because they want something from her being around her.
They will get into certain spaces that they can't by themselves. So they will stick with her. Um, number four is fear and dominance. And actually this a lot of times is mixed with a lot of the other types that I talked about, but fear and dominance is like a huge one of how a queen bee arises.
So this is the mean girl. This is the queen bee that understands that love and light does not bode well when you want control and dominance. If she wants to be the most dominant, she wants to be the number one, she wants to be the one everybody look looks up to and kind of fears and have control over the whole group, she will use fear and dominance.
So, this is the aggressive bully type.
This is a mean girl. She's intimidating.
She's ruthless. She can be violent if she needs to be. She can um she will run smear campaigns. She will cyber bully.
She will send people to bully somebody else. She will send people to exclude somebody else. Um she spread lies. She would do a bunch of stuff to get people to be scared of her in order to um have control cuz if people fear you naturally they will just give give you whatever you want because they just don't want to be in your crossfire. So that's a huge one is how a lot of these queen bees arise. people are just scared of them.
Okay. Uh All right, moving on.
So, like I said, there could be just one queen bee, but if this is like a large organization, um there's usually like multiple types of queen bees cuz like cuz there's usually different kind of clicks form in a large organization. So you have one large organization with one queen bee and then like within that large organization you have multiple different little clicks and within those click uh within within those clicks you have queen bees of every single click and they they all have their own roles within that click but within that huge organization there is just people just know when to like rever to the queen bee of the whole organization if that makes sense. Um, so yeah. Um, so example that I gave in the video about Queen Bee. So if you guys watch basketball wise, whether it's the Miami version or the LA version, um, so Shaunie O'Neal was the queen bee of the of the girls, right? Just based off her status. So she was married to Shaquille O'Neal long time ago and Shaquille was like royalty in the NBA world at the time. So she was like a basketball wife um royalty and you know she had a lot of respect in that world and she used that status to establish the show called Basketball Wives. Um so just by that just by that um status she was automatically the queen bee. She has the popularity, she has the respect and she has the status and the money. She's executive producer of the show. So so by default she's the queen bee. But if you ask me just based off social dynamics Evelyn Lozada was the queen bee.
If you guys watch the show, you will realize every time somebody new will come on to the show, they'll be like, "Oh, I hope Evelyn likes me. I hope Evelyn likes the way I dress or I hope they accept me." And I'm like I'm like, "What the hell?"
Like, these are like grown ass, you guys. When they first started the show, these were these women uh these women were like in their 30s and now they're like in their 50s. And I'm like, how are you like in your 30s and 40s and 50s hoping that another woman accepts you into her group? Like, oh, I hope Evelyn likes me. I hope she likes my outfit. I hope she thinks I dress okay. I hope like what?
This is not high school. Like, huh?
Okay, whatever. Um, hi Lisa. She says, "That scene of Evelyn that you used for the for the opening was crazy." Yeah, that was insane. Oh my god. Why are you patting your coochie?
Like anyway, uh Crist said, "Never seen clips of the show and I was shocked."
Yeah, you should watch it. You should watch it. Um but yeah, the girls will be like, "Yeah, I hope Evelyn likes me. I hope she accepts me." And I'm like, so if you were just going off social dynamics and not money and wealth, Evelyn Lozada was the queen bee. Period.
And you will notice every time Shaunie wasn't around like Shaunie was not in the season or she was not around the girls, it was Evelyn. They were all rever to Evelyn.
So she was the queen bee in my opinion.
All right, let's move on to the next archetype. So, we we talked about the queen bee. Let's talk about the next role, which is the sidekick. Okay, we already talked about the sidekick in my mean girls narcissistic female uh female friends video, but I only talked about one type of sidekick in that video, and that was the empathetic sidekick. So, that's the first one. So, the empathetic sidekick is the naive girl. She's a little naive. She's gullible. She's really a good person. She's really a genuine person. uh she's loyal, she's too trusting for her own good and she does not understand social dynamics. She does not understand social hierarchy.
She does not understand manipulation.
Um and she just blindly kind of just follows the queen bee because she feels like the queen bee is her real friend or they're actually friends when she doesn't realize that the queen bee doesn't see her as an actual friend.
she's just using her for whatever or using um just you know she doesn't see the sidekick as her equal. She doesn't see her as an actual friend. She just sees her as somebody that's inferior to her and she's not picking that up. Um so a good example of this is um Scotty.
Scott uh Scotty from the show Baddies.
So Natalie was the queen bee and Scotty was the sidekick. If you saw how she treated Scotty, you will realize that she never liked that girl. She just wanted she just wanted Scotty around to just kind of be like her little pet, her little like dog that she can like push around, abuse to seem bigger to the other girls. And you guys, I'm I'm going to do a video on Natalie and Scotty's relationship in the future. I have it down in my notes. I'm going to dissect it cuz I feel like their relationship is just like should be a warning to any girl. like whether you're in high school, middle school, college, whatever you like. I need to dissect that. But basically with the empathetic side psychic, a lot of times they're kind of vulnerable in their own way. U maybe they have family issues or they're very insecure or they're in like a bad situation in their life. Um or they just have low self-esteem or they're socially anxious or they fear being alone or they just have some type of vulnerability. Um, or maybe they're just very naive and gullible and, you know, they don't they don't understand that there's evil people out there in the world and they don't see that in the queen bee because the queen bee manipulates them all the time. So, this is the empathetic psychic. She's clueless about what's actually going on and she doesn't realize it. So, she's e easy to use and manipulate and guilt trip and everything else because she's a genuine person.
She's a genuine friend. She's a loyal trust and friend. But that's the empathetic sidekick. Okay.
All right. Moving on to the next. Okay.
Let me read a comment here.
Okay. Lisa says, "Being the queen bee without trying or realizing you you are is dangerous." Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, we might talk about that later. Um, the next type of uh psychic is the attack dog. So the type this type of sidekick is used to do the queen bee's dirty work. So especially if this is like in an organization where like you have to be like classy and have a good reputation, a good image and you have to come off classy and you know whatever.
This queen bee is smart. She's intelligent. She knows that she can't be seen doing certain things. So she keeps certain psychics around that she will use to do her dirty work. So if she wants to cuss somebody out, she won't cuss that person out them herself cuz she will look like, "Girl, why you being ratchet?" So, but later on she would talk to her attack dog psychic and be like, "This girl did this to me. Like we need to get her this. She thinks she's blah blah blah." And then the attack dogs will go attack that person. So they are used to attack people. They are used to do the queen bee's dirty work so that the queen bee can sit back and seem innocent and classy and like a good person. Okay. So example of the attack dog was Tammy Roman and Evelyn Lozada in uh the Basketball Wives uh show. So, like when Shaunie wanted some something to be done um that she thought was too uh below her, she will send Evelyn who will throw a tantrum, be violent, be aggressive. Uh and same thing with Tammy. They're both kind of one and the same. Um they will do that dirty work for Shaunie. Okay.
So, the attack dog will be mean, will exclude people, they will spread rumors when need be. They will spread lies.
They will bully somebody for the queen bee. Okay.
All right.
So, the attack dog, they're not just being an attack dog for nothing. A lot of times there's a benefit that they're getting from the queen bee that they won't be able to get just on their own.
So, that's why they stay and do what they're do what they're told basically.
Uh like for example, in the show, Shaunie is the executive produ producer.
So at that time I believe like I believe Tammy was coming out of a divorce or something from her ex-husband who who kept cheating on her or whatever. So she needed the paycheck. She needed the job.
So she would do whatever Shaunie asked in order to keep her job. And with Evelyn uh kind of the same thing like they needed the paycheck. They need the good paycheck. They needed the good um position. So they do what they need to do. They they understand why they're doing what they're doing. They're doing it to keep their positions. Okay. It's not about love. All right.
So, in your real life, in a real friend group or girl group, the attack dog, psychics are getting something from the queen bee. It could be status, access, popularity, uh, wealth, whatever. There's a benefit they're getting from the queen bee that they won't be able to get by themselves.
And that's why they're doing what they're supposed to do. Okay.
Do you guys have uh have you guys came into contact with an attack dog psychic?
I would like to know in the comments.
But yeah.
All right, moving on is to the next type of psychic is the coward mean girl. So the coward mean girl. This one is probably the probably the most pathetic um out of all the psychics. Um so this one is she is actually a mean person.
She's just as evil, just as mean, just as shady um as the queen bee and the rest of them, but she herself is weak.
She's not somebody who can stand on her own. She's not bold. She's not calculating. She's not strategic. She's not socially skilled. Um, so she can't stand on her own. Nobody's scared of her. Nobody fears her. Nobody respects her. So she can't stand on her own. But at her heart, she's still a mean girl.
So in order to still feel powerful and dominant and be able to be a mean girl, she will willing she will willingly attach herself to a queen bee cuz the queen bee will be mean outwardly. She can stand on her own. She's strategic.
She's smart. She's bold. She can stand on her own. So like Evelyn, right? But the coward mean girl can't do that. So she attaches herself to the queen bee and they just it's freaking frack and whatever the queen bee says the coward mean girl will will you know will do the same. They will go attack people together. They'll go bully people together. They will come in pairs. Um and she feels powerful that way. But on her own she's she's very like fragile.
On her own she's very scary. Like she she's not scared and like oh she we're scared of you scary ass. I'm like, "Girl, I could beat you up right now."
Like, her voice shakes, but when she's around the queen bee, she's very much like, "Yeah, like she got some type of base in her voice when she's around the queen bee and the rest of the group. She can't stand on her own, right?"
Okay. Cash says, "Yes, but it's a motheraughter duo. Both are horrible and use harassment to get what they want to extort people." Yeah, that's very sad.
Uh, Lisa says, "I was the sympathetic sidekick. I'm woke now, though." It's okay. We all learn. We all learn. Um, okay.
So, that's the car mean girl. And example that I gave in the video um was Jennifer Williams from Basketball Wives.
So, if you guys watch the show, nobody's scared of Jennifer. The girls don't even respect her like that. Um, they can walk all over her. Even though I think in the later season she learned to stand up stand up for herself better.
She talks more. She fires back now. But in the earlier seasons she was very timid by herself. Um she couldn't fight.
She's not as witty with the comebacks.
She's scared of the other girls. So she was just like she attached to Evelyn because Evelyn is the more violent aggressive outward one. Um, and yeah, she was just always in Evelyn's shadow tagging along behind her. But when it's just them, like Jennifer is quite mean.
She says a lot of mean things. She bullies other people, too. She excludes other people, too. She has a lot of stuff to say, just not in a bold way, just not by herself. She can't stand by herself. She So, she's just always an Evelyn shadow. Okay, that's the coward mean girl. They're very mean. And these types are also usually like perpetual sidekicks. So like for example, if you guys watched the movie Mean Girls with Regina and her crew, uh let's talk about Gretchen. So Gretchen will be a good example of the coward mean girl. So the coward mean girls are usually perpetual sidekicks. So they'll go from one uh queen bee to another queen bee because they can never be the queen bee on their own. So, like at the end of the movie once like the whole group kind of dismantled, guess what? Gretchen went and became a psychic to another queen bee in a different click.
So, they're perpetual mean uh they're perpetual sidekicks because they can never stand on their own. They need a leader. They need a queen bee to hide behind, to attach to, right? They can't lead on their own. Okay?
Have you guys ever met a coward mean girl?
All right, moving on to the next type of sidekick is the fan. The fan sidekick.
So, these ones are pretty weird. Uh because these ones are kind of weirdly obsessed with the queen bee. A lot of times it's cuz the queen bee is like very beautiful and and or popular. So, these types of fan psychics are like weirdly obsessed with the queen bee.
wants to be her, wants to be around her, wants to um live in her skin, wants to possess her like a property. Um, so these types of sidekicks are usually kind of weird because like let's say you are a normal person and you're you say hi to the queen bee or you're talking to the queen bee and they just stand by the queen bee and just like not leave and give you privacy because they feel they're so attached to the queen bee.
They view the queen bee as their possession and it like it's weird. It's some weird dynamic. So if the example that I gave in the video was uh Yolanda Salivar and uh Selena. So Selena being the queen bee, she's very beautiful, very talented, very popular. And she ended up being so delusionally like attached to Selena. um she was a just a weird creeped out fan that wanted to possess Selena for herself and if she couldn't have Selena nobody else can. Um so those types are very scary. They're the scariest type because they can end up unal alive in you. Another example that I gave is if you guys know Ari Fletcher and Tucson, they had like a cooking show whatever.
uh Tucson is like very possessive around her uh of her like just like it just a weird dynamic and it's like that's the fan psychic. They're so starruck by the queen bee. Um they want they want to either like be her or be like her or just be around her cuz it's like they're starruck. It's weird. Okay.
So, those are the four types of psychics that I um talked about in the video. And sometimes it could it's not just one archetype. Sometimes it could be like multiple of those traits. So, it could be a fan and an attack dog or a coward mean girl and there and a fan. You know what I'm saying? So, sometimes they can like it could be multiple in one type of person. So, yeah. Uh before we move on to the next role, uh do you guys have any questions about the psychic or the queen bee?
Leave it in the chat below before we move on.
Any questions about the psychic or the queen bee? Before we move on to the next row or archetype.
Okay, let me get some water real quick, guys. Be right back. Leave it in the chat below.
Okay.
All right. Lisa said the queen bee in my opinion will use the queen bee in my opinion will use the other archetypes for fashion inspo and beauty inspo. The queen bee can definitely be a copycat.
She she will pick weak women who don't pick up on that. Yeah. So, uh if you actually see um let's use Evelyn and Jennifer Williams for example. If you guys didn't know, Evelyn copied Jennifer's style. Jennifer did not copy Evelyn's style. It was the opposite. Evelyn copied Jennifer's style, but she doesn't realize that because Evelyn is so like dominant and like aggressive and like just like scary to her. She's scared of Evelyn. So Evelyn would just come in and copy this girl's whole style and class because Evelyn is not from money. Evelyn does not come from money or style. She's from the Bronx, New York. She grew up in with humble beginnings. And Jennifer, her parents had money. Her parents had money. She's always been in like in like kind of like either like a upper middle class or higher than that kind of background. And she dressed in all the designer and and all the the whole thing. That was EV that's that's Jennifer's reality for a long time. And Evelyn was not like that. Evelyn took Jennifer's style, but because she's so dominant and aggressive and Jennifer like kind of fears her, she just lets her have it and take the lead and act like this is Evelyn's style, right? And she she is she looks like a sidekick to somebody who's stole her style. So that can definitely happen.
Um, okay. Felicia said, "Mean girls stick together, but low self-esteem, bullying, and gossip holds the group up." Yes. So, I told you guys, a lot of these girl groups, a lot of times they're not even friends for real. They don't even like each other for real. Um, it's just like you said, bullying, gossip is what holds them together, right? Okay. Cashan said, "I've noticed people trying to claim queen bee status from an anxious attachment style only to be pushed aside when the actual leader finally speaks up. Sometimes the leader is quiet, not loud." Yeah. I mean, it all stems from like confidence. If you're trying to perform something that you're actually not, eventually like it's going to slip. like there's going to be uh cracks in the foundation because people know that you're not what you claim to be. Right?
Okay. Moving on to the next archetype is the treasurer. Okay. She is not managing money. Okay. She is managing information. So this is the type of girl that collects secrets, collects information, does her investigations.
She knows everything about everybody.
She knows who has a crush on who. She knows what happened. She knows your past trauma. She knows this. She knows that because she befriends everybody when when they first join and act like their friend and collects all this information and eventually she use uses their information for malicious stuff. Okay?
She's not your friend. Okay? So when you guys first join a group or or uh or an organization, you have to be very careful about the people that be the first ones to try to befriend you. Okay?
A lot of times it does not end on a good note because that person doesn't like you.
Okay?
She's collecting information. She's doing investigation. She is seeing where you fit in in the group. She's she's trying to see what your role is. She's trying to see um she she just needs to know your weaknesses to be able to use against you. Okay.
Hi Mor, how are you? Nice to see you again. Um Lisa says, "The treasure is so slick." Yeah, we'll talk about that.
We'll talk about that. Felicia says, "My mom was a mean girl and all her friends were just like her. They even gossiped about their kids, shaking my head. And boy, my mom was just And my mom just told all their business while envying them. I wanted to throw up. Yeah, like I said, a lot of these girl groups, they're not good people.
They're not They don't even like each other. They talk They all talk bad about each other. They all kind of think low of each other and they just gossip about other people and bully other people together. Um, and they stick with each other because nobody else likes them.
Nobody else likes them. Um, okay. So, the treasurer, she thinks she's slick.
She will befriend you. She befriends all the new girls. She wants to know everybody's business. She's always gossiping. She needs to know who knows what. She needs to know who you are, know all your business, and use it against you later on. So, the example that I gave, uh, well, let's let's go back a little bit. So like for example in groups like this the treasurer is usually the one that they send to like new people to find out information. So like the queen bee or whoever will send the group will send her to find out information about you when you first join like and she will act like your friend to come and collect all this information from you.
Right. Um, and sometimes she's not even sent. A lot of times the people with the treasurer role, they're in that role because they love to gossip. They love messiness.
They love knowing people's information.
They love being nosy. They enjoy that.
The gossip is the reward. The information is the reward. They enjoy it. So, nobody has to send them.
Sometimes they just enjoy doing it, trying to get to know your business, right?
So that is the treasurer. And the example that I gave in the video was Mrs. Jackie Christie. Honey, if you guys watch the show, Jackie is the oldest on the show and it has nothing to do with age, but she is very fake towards the girls. She will befriend every new girl. She'll be like, "Oh, this my friend, this my friend, this this blah blah blah. This my sister." She loves calling them her sister.
She loves calling them her sister, collects all this information from them.
They really think she's their friend, and then later on she ends up betraying them, being disloyal or using the information that she learned from them against them or gossip to other people or turn other people against them. Oh my gosh, she's the perfect example of the treasurer. Perfect example.
But yeah, beware of the treasurer. She is not your friend. Okay.
All right. Kashan said, "Same.
Traumatize me and all the other kids."
Yeah. Um, I don't think parents should be gossiping about their kids to other people cuz it's a violation of privacy.
Um, I understand sometimes you talk about your kids to like get help or or whatever, but especially when like your kids are like teenagers and they're going through the whole teenage teenage hood um time. It's like that's a very hard time for kids. So like talking about, oh, they kissed this boy or she thinks she fast. Why are you saying saying all of that to people?
Why are you doing that?
It's just only going to make other people think less of your own child. Why are you doing that?
But a lot of times it's because these type of parents, they don't have a life of their own outside of their kids. They don't have anything interesting about themselves. So they end up gossiping about talking badly about their kids to other people.
So that's not a good thing. Okay, moving on to the next archetype. The next one is the floater. This one is short because the floater is the girl that is the most independent out of the group.
She is not codependent on the group for her social life. Okay.
So, this type of girl, she's the one that has friends outside of the group.
She has um she has like uh she she will be friend this girls from this click and girls from that click or just girls people independently outside of the group. She has her own thing going on outside of the group. So if if the group become too toxic, she can always leave very easily because she will have other friends because she has other relationship. This is not her like main thing that she's codependent on. Okay. The Floor is probably the most healthiest person out of the group because she's not codependent on the group. If she doesn't like something, she doesn't have to conform because if she doesn't like it, she would just leave because she has other friends.
Okay? So, if you guys watch I don't know if you guys how many of you guys watch the show Friends, but in the show Friends, the floater will be Phoebe.
Phoebe had a lot of friends outside of outside of that uh outside of that main group. She'll be like, "Oh, yeah. I have lunch with my friend this or I went to see my friend that or my friend this d."
So, she had a lot of friends outside of the group, the main group. And uh and the opposite of the floater will be Chandler. Chandler had nobody outside of the show. Like she outside of the show he you know this was like his main core group of friends. He barely had any friends outside of the show. So that's an example of the opposite. Okay.
Okay. Um Felicia said, "Oh yeah, my mom gossiped about me.
Everything about me, lol. I had to cut her off. She couldn't stay out of my life. She lies, intercepts, meddles, and manipulate. She lived off me for so long. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think parents should be gossiping about their children, talking bad about their kids to other people. It's not good. It's not cute in my opinion. So, in the basketball uh not in the basketball wife show, but the example that I gave of a floater is Candy Candy Birds from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. She's very independent. She has multiple businesses, multiple industry connections, multiple friends outside of the show. So, she was able to leave the show and be just as good, right? So, that's an example of the floater. Um, so these that I just mentioned, these are the main core group of the click or the girl group. Um, the rest of these archetypes that I will list now, they are not necessarily part of the main core group, but these are still archetypes that you will see a lot in these girl groups. Okay, one second.
Okay, so the first one we talked about was the pleaser and the wannabe. Okay, so we just talked about the floater. The floater is very independent. She doesn't need the group.
She, you know, she's out. She's not desperate for anything. The opposite of that is the pleaser and the wannabe.
The pleaser and the wannabe.
She so desperately wants to be part of the main core group. She really wants the queen bee's approval. She really wants to be liked. She wants to be accepted as part of the girls even though like they don't really like her.
they may maybe they don't think she looks the part or she she can't dress the part or she's not as cool or or whatever whatever the reason is. Um they don't like her for whatever reason. Um so they so they don't really accept her.
They just kind of have her around. Um but she so desperately wants to be a part of the core group. Um and she is so desperate to be a part of the core group that she will probably compromise her morals. She will sell her soul to be part of the group. So this means she will go along with whatever the group uh wants. She will laugh at the bad jokes.
She will laugh at the mean jokes they do to other people. She will bully other people um with the group. She will cosign the opinions of the group. Um she never challenges the queen bee or rocks the boat because having an opinion of her own feels too risky because what if they don't like it? What if they get you say that a different opinion and get kicked out? So she just become a sounding board and she's she just really wants to be liked and accepted by these people. Um so so she has no real independent voice within the group. Okay. She's just a sounding board, an echo chamber. Uh her personality within the group is basically like just mirroring the group.
whatever like whoever is the most powerful which is the queen bee. She just always wants to be in. She wants to be accepted. She she's a wannabe. She will dress the same as them. She will go to the same places as them. She will bully other people just like them. She will laugh at the mean jokes. She will do this and do that just to please them and be accepted by them. She wants to be like them. Okay. So because of all of this, because of the desperation, cuz nobody likes a desperate person, because of the desperation to want to be like them and be accepted by them, the group is not going to like this person. They're not going to accept her. Nine times out of 10, they make fun of this person behind her back or they just treat her bad in front of her, in front of her. they'll make her like the the um the joke of the group or like sometimes they'll just do it behind her back. Um they will disrespect her, they don't like her, they bully her behind her back, they laugh at her, um they exclude her and eventually they will just use her and discard of her because she's so desperate to be accepted. So a good example of this is um Royce Reed from Basketball Wives. So, like I said in the video, Royce was a pleaser at first, but she quickly realized like, oh, these are these women are not good. Like, there's something wrong with them. Like, why am I trying to be accepted by these women? They're terrible people. So, she at first she was trying to be like accepted by them, but then eventually she was like, "No, f this. These people are terrible. I'm not trying to please y'all. I don't want to be part of y'all." So, but before then she was trying to be cuz like they felt like they acted like she was like beneath them or she was by some type of like [ __ ] or something or which is ironic because excuse me. Anyway, um but they just acted like she was just like this filthy thing that they just can't be seen around and like she had to like try to beg for their acceptance and it's like what? Okay. Um, but yeah, eventually they just made fun of her. Like when she gave Evelyn her birthday gift, which was like a dance performance that she did, I was like, "Oh my god, this is so cringe.
Oh my god, she's so desperate to be liked by Evelyn." Like, this is crazy.
But eventually, but basically, Evelyn laughed at her at the performance and just they still didn't respect her.
So, it's like the pleaser is not going to be liked or respected by the group, especially the queen bee, cuz they you're just desperate. You have no selfrespect. They don't like you. Give it up. Okay.
All right. Uh Na, hi Naj, she said, Oh, Naji. Naji. Okay. Naji said, "Hi, love a man I'm dating."
Hi, love a man I'm dating. Have Okay.
Oh, okay. Hi, love. I think that's what he's saying. A man I'm den have a mixed friend group. Two of the girls give me weird vibes. How do I survive this dynamic? I can tell it's platonic, but they seem to have been sizing me up from when I met them. Okay, so you guys, I told you guys this uh this this series this will be a trilogy.
Okay, so this the first episode of the series. I'll have two more videos coming that will answer your question, Naji.
Okay, so I'm not going to answer that here. I'm going to do two more videos and they will answer your question.
Okay. All right.
Another example of the pleaser and wannabe. If you guys watch the show was Ma Claxton. So Ma was like this girl.
You could tell a lot of times when the when these reality shows when they try to cast somebody, they try to cast somebody who has never watched the show, who who knows nothing of the show. uh to make it like a better experience for the viewer because when they cast somebody who has been a fan of the show for a long time, uh a lot of times it just ends horribly because they already come in with like some type of bias. So this MA girl, you could tell she was a fan of the show before she came on. Like you could tell like she has studied the show. She knows how the last season went and she went in sorry she went in with biases. She went in with like uh preconceived notions about the girls and how the dynamics were. And she was like, okay, she thought because the last season before she came on, all the girls hated Royce. They all fought with Royce. Um they they dislike her for whatever reason.
So she thought if I go in, I will try to be part of Evelyn's crew, which is the popular crew. And Evelyn's crew hates Royce. So I'm going to hate Royce, too.
I'm going to talk bad about Royce, too.
I'm going to dress like Evelyn. I'm going to get my earrings like Evelyn.
I'm going to do my hair like Evelyn. And then they will accept me if I act just like them. And that ended so badly for her. I mean, she got beat up by Tammy.
She got cussed out and rejected by Evelyn. Everybody else started hating her on the show. It was just so bad. But she was the perfect example of a pleaser slashwannabe. She wanted to be them so bad. She wanted to be like the girl so bad. She wanted to be like Evelyn so bad. So, so bad. Um, but it does not end well for the pleaser/wannabe.
The girls will not like you. Okay? Don't try to be desperate for anybody's approval. It's not cute. Okay.
All right. So, Christian said, "Will will your other two videos discuss the target leveling up and how people act weird around them?
if not any advice cuz their behavior is genuinely strange. Uh maybe might be in the last video of the of the trilogy.
Okay. Um Morex says you can see the you can see these dynamics in America's Next Top Model show. Really?
Yeah. I mean I I'll imagine cuz it's a bunch of girls. So Felicia says llol.
Yeah. I mean she got beat up. I felt bad for the poor girl. I really felt bad. Um okay, moving on to the next archetype or the next role which is the target. So this could be a target who is part of the group. This could also be a target who is not part of the group. So I talked about the core group, right? So sometimes the core group has a target and the target is the scapegoat because every group has some type of negativity or toxicity, right? So whether it's like the queen bee is like a mean is mean or a bully or the others are like just as negative and miserable and toxic. So when you're feeling low or insecure or jealous or or whatever, all of that en negative energy has to go somewhere and it can't go to the other members of the group that are respected in your roles.
So they will use one person to target to put all that negative energy on. So usually this is somebody that they're either all envious of or this is somebody that is like they perceive as weak. Maybe they they can't fight back or they're not as witty with their comebacks or they just an easy target.
So they will pick somebody like that to target and kind of bully kind of like disrespecting the group and bullying her is what keeps the group uh from imploding on each other cuz once the target leaves they will all just start fighting each other, start like arguing against, start like disrespecting each other because now there's there's no scapegoat to kind of put all that negative energy on. Um, so like I said again, the the target can be somebody who is um who they're all envious of. Maybe maybe it's cuz of looks, maybe because they're very pretty or maybe because they're their family has money or maybe because uh they're very smart, they do well, maybe they have a very good job. I I don't know. They're envious of her her for whatever reason or maybe sometimes it's not envy. Maybe the t the target is just um does not understand social dynamics or does not understand the unspoken social dynamics, does not understand social hierarchy.
So, she does not subscribe to these pecking orders and like uh dynamics and stuff or sometimes the target is just like um uh they just just weak or maybe they just don't understand like why you're fighting or why they doing what they doing when somebody's trying to assert dominance or like they just don't understand. So, think of somebody like Scotty. Okay. So, a lot of times the target is the scapegoat cuz sometimes like you will notice in some in some clicks when a new person joins the click and and they pick up that like everybody disrespects the target. They will understand that okay so this is the target. So if I want to be respected by these girls I can pick on this one cuz she's not going to fight back or everybody will agree with me and they will all like me and accept me and I'll have a role in this click. So then they will assert dominance on the target in order to be accepted and liked by the click.
Crazy, right?
So there's this one person that they all seem to just target in order to relieve all that negative energy and toxicity on to keep the group balanced.
Okay.
All right.
Felicia said, "Love and hip hop, Atlanta. you really see these dynamics.
Yep. In every girl group, in every group where there's like a bunch of women, these dynamics arise. Okay. Um Christian says, "Being neurode divergent unfortunately means an automatic target from not understanding certain unspoken social dynamics." Yeah. So that's why my channel exists. That's part of why my channel exists to explain these social dynamics to people. So they understand so they understand what's going on and not be targeted. Right.
Hi Nat, how are you? She says, "Can you es can you ever escape this dynamic or are humans always seeking some sort of social hierarchy?" Um I mean you can escape it if you kind of develop like um healthy independence, right? Like you can be part of you can you know join a group but you won't be too codependent on the group or you're around enough or invested enough where like you know they will do all these bad things to you. You can have some type of healthy independence away from them.
Uh Asena, hi Asena, how are you? He says hi. Uh he says she says hi how are you?
I missed your recent live but watch it afterwards. That's okay. I'm glad you're here. Uh, Mar says, "The movie Jawbreaker, it's a great movie. It shows the dynamic, too, which is Queen Bee, Scapegoat, etc." Okay, I might have to watch it later.
Asina says, "We are three girls. We are very different from each other, but I really don't understand why they target someone. We respect why they target someone. We respect each other. We don't fight." Okay, you guys, when you write these charts, can you please add like punctuations?
because when I'm reading them, it kind I kind of like run off and because there's no commas, there's no periods. I'm just I just kind of keep going. Uh Mar says, "OMG, another movie is old school from the 70s. It's called The Switchblade Sisters. It's a girl gang. Lots of lots of that going on." Okay. Yeah. Like if you watch any movie where there's like a bunch of girls in a group, these dynamics arise. Okay. Cashan says, "Honestly, being the target confused me because I was still in the group but bullied. However, I wasn't considered a victim because I wasn't one of the loner bullied kids." Yeah. So, um, yeah, that's what I said. So, there's different type of targets. So, there's a target that is part of the group and there's a target that's not part of the group. So, example that I gave in the uh the episode was Drea. Drea Michelle, she was part of the group, but she was a target. They all hated on her. They all said horrible things about her. Bullied her like out of envy. With Drea's bullying, it was because of envy. They envied her. Okay? She was the prettiest one. She had the nicest body. She was getting a lot of attention from men.
They were jealous. Period. Okay? But she was an example of a target that's part of the group. Now moving on to the target that is not part of the group. So this is the target that's like not part of the group or the not part of the friends group or some something. It's just like some like let's think of like high school like when the mean girls will like will like approach like a a random kid to like bully them that's like a target that's not part of the group. So, this is could be somebody that does not understand social dynamics or is just like a loner or just like they don't like her her her style or whatever she does or she just does not subscribe to these stupid dynamics. So, they'd be like they would target her cuz they think it's an easy target. Um, so that uh that's an example of a target that is not part of the group. Uh, and in the in the video I told you guys if you guys watched that season with OG in there, OG was a perfect example of a target that's not part of the group because they really did not like invite her to stuff with her and with a core group. It was just always like just her and like Jackie and and like CeCe, you know, those three, but they were not part of the core group. Um, and they talking at her because, you know, she just did not, she just was not going with the BS because she was like, "Okay, this group is toxic. Y'all are a hot mess. You're y'all are like teaming up on CeCe. Like, this is a hot mess." Okay, but like I did say, I think OG came in very hot.
Like her first episode, she did not need to do all of that. Come at Malaysia like that. Cuz when you come at Malaysia like that, when she was just trying to help, it's like, what are you trying to do? So I think she came in very defensive but I think after that everything else after that they did target her. So I had to make that clear. Okay. I have to be fair.
Okay. Moving on to the last archetype we talked about which is uh the torn bystander. Okay. The torn bystander is the group member that knows what is going on, what is happening. She can see the bullying. She can see the disrespect. She can see what the group is doing. She can see the toxicity, but she stays silent out of self-preservation.
Um, because she does not want to be kicked out of the group. She does not want to be the last uh she does not want to be the next target, right? She does not want to be the one that's being picked on. Uh there is something that the torn bystander is getting from the group that she does not want to lose. So she would rather just stick with the group and just keep her mouth shut and just watch whatever is going on even though she knows in her heart this is wrong. She wants to say something but she doesn't because she knows that if she says anything or does anything she will be kicked out of the group. Okay?
Or she might get bullied next so she says nothing. Um, so an example of the um the torn bystander, I I told you guys about it in the show was um Kristen, sorry, Kristen Scott from the show. So basically in that uh episode, she joined the group with Cece who was a part of her family. Think she's like her sister-in-law or something like that.
And um when Evelyn and Jennifer were all bullying Cece, she did not stand up for Cece, her family member. She wanted to be part of Evelyn's crew. She was already accepted into Evelyn and Shaunie's crew, but she wanted to be the only uh she wanted to keep her position. So, she did not say anything. She'll be like, "Okay, well, why don't you go talk to them yourself?"
And it's like, "I understand that, but that's still your family. You came into this group with her and you just left her on an island by herself being bullied by these women that you now call your friends, but she knows it's wrong. She knows what's going on. But she knows if she says anything, she's going to be kicked out of that core group. She's probably not not going to come back for another season. So f her family member. She's going to stay silent and just let her be on the island by herself.
That's the torn bystander. Okay? And make no mistake, seeing injustice and not doing anything about it, that that's a choice. You're making the conscious choice. You're saying you're okay with what what's going on as long as you're okay. Okay. All right. So, those are the all the archetypes that I wanted to I talked about in the video.
Like I said, I wanted to lay the foundation for my next two videos, which will really go into the nitty-gritty of these type of dynamics. Um cuz I had to I had to kind of give y'all this to lay the foundation to understand, okay, why are they doing this? Well, why did they do this? Or why did they do that? What is this dynamic? What is this strategy?
What is this? What is that? I had to lay the foundation so that y'all understand what's going on. Okay.
So, that's all of the archetypes that I know of, that I've seen, that I've studied. Um, and yeah, so any other questions you guys before I go? That's the end of the video. That was the end of the video. So, any other questions before I go.
Last few minutes, guys. Any questions about the video, the topic? Again, I'm going to do two more videos dissecting this topic. So, Christian said, "This helps this helps me to not take things personal." Yeah, take nothing personally, guys. Take nothing personally. Like, don't be so invested into these people and these relationships that you that you forget that these people are not right in the head. All of this stuff is fake. Um, a lot of them don't even like each other. It's all performative. They just they just don't leave because they feel like they want to belong somewhere. They want they want community. They want entertainment. They don't want to be bored. So, they just keep at it. That's what it is. Okay.
Lisa says, "I'm looking forward to the other videos." Yes, thank you guys.
Yeah, I'm going to work on it. I'm going to get to you this Sunday. We will talk about it then. Okay. All right, guys. If there's no other questions, I'm going to end the live. Uh, thank you for being here. Thank you for always supporting.
Um, thank you guys. I really do appreciate it. I'll see y'all in the next live, in the next video. Okay, if you guys, if you haven't watched the new video, go watch it. Share it. like, comment the video. Um, I want the video to, you know, reach a higher audience.
So, please go like the video, comment, subscribe, hype it, okay? Let's let YouTube do its thing, okay?
All right, y'all. Thank you so much. And I'll see you on the next video, next
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