Hierarchy of Values: A Question EVERYONE Must Answer

Added: 2026-05-22

[00:00:00]In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen.

[00:00:04]Well, dear ones, uh you see from the title of this video uh that I will be talking today about a hierarchy of values.

[00:00:11]Uh and this may be something that you look at and go, "Okay, what exactly does he mean by this?"

[00:00:16]Well, to start with, I want to talk about an analogy. Uh this is a very apt analogy for uh me living here in Utah uh because there was a study done uh I'm guessing based on accident reports and tickets of the worst states to drive in.

[00:00:31]Uh and Utah, where I am, uh came third to last. And anybody who lives in the Salt Lake Valley uh knows that we earned that uh spot quite well. Um it's uh it's a difficult place to drive. Uh people uh really follow their own rules. Um I I don't know that there is um a single day where I don't find somebody following too close behind me, um somebody speeding, somebody not paying attention, you know, going over their their uh the lines in the lanes. Um you name it.

[00:01:02]Utah's a a terrible place to drive.

[00:01:05]So, the you know, the question becomes like, what what exactly happens when we're driving that it it uh it it kind of falls apart? And and what makes it worse? And really, it comes down to what it is that you value when you drive. Um there are uh really three considerations to take uh take in when we get behind the wheel. Uh number one are the laws uh that are set down. Number two are the other people driving. And number three is my own desire, what I want. Um ultimately, we all want to get where we're going as quickly as possible.

[00:01:39]Um and we want to do so in a way that is relatively safe, although sometimes uh um we even let dumb things get in the way of that, such as our own entertainment. We we want to look at our phones um while we're driving or whatever that may be.

[00:01:53]When we throw these values uh out of order such that laws go last, other drivers go go second to last, and then we go first, and what we want comes first. Well, this is how unfortunately a lot of people drive, which is I think why Utah's third to last.

[00:02:09]Um, imagine though if everybody drove this way.

[00:02:15]Imagine if we all had that hierarchy of values when we drove. Uh, I had a one of my uh, seminary professors, he was asked a very very good question. Um, and maybe this should be a separate video on its own if I haven't made it already. Um, he he didn't ask the question, you know, if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do so as well? He would ask from the opposite perspective, and he would say, "What if everybody acted the way that you do?"

[00:02:39]Uh, and he used to ask this when somebody was simply late to class. Uh, they'd come they'd show up, you know, two two three minutes late, walk in, and he'd say, he'd say, you know, if they were very nonchalant, he'd say, "Well, what if what if everybody had that attitude? What if everybody did as you were doing? Would the world be a better place or a worse place? What if everybody drove with the value of what they wanted coming first?" Well, because more and more people are doing that, that's why Utah's becoming such a difficult place to drive. People care more about themselves than other drivers and their safety, and certainly more more about themselves than the laws, uh, as evident by the way that they drive.

[00:03:14]So, this this analogy, uh, gets to the topic of not just how we how we drive, of course, but how we live.

[00:03:21]How we live is always operating under a hierarchy of values.

[00:03:27]How we live always expresses values.

[00:03:32]Now, the problem is is that because we don't have a very reflective populace, um, we're very utilitarian in the way that we do things in the United States.

[00:03:40]Um, this is why we don't have, uh, in most most uh, schools don't teach philosophy anymore.

[00:03:45]Because the question is always, "Well, what are you going to do with it?"

[00:03:48]I'm going to live more rightly. That to to is more important, but uh, there's a utilitarian sense that if if what I'm teaching doesn't lead you to being able to participate in the workforce in a better way, um in a a very direct way, then it's not really worth your time. If you want to study philosophy, go study it on your own.

[00:04:05]I don't know if that's really a good way of thinking about things, but this is this is often how people live. They live with this utilitarian sense. I want to get what I want out of life, and I'm not really worried about taking a step back and actually examining what's behind my decisions.

[00:04:19]We all have a hierarchy of values. Now, that hierarchy of values may not be very steady. It can change from situation to situation, from day to day, but largely this is because we don't examine it. We don't really look at it.

[00:04:33]There's There's a lack of consideration in in in the way that we live that has become the source of problems in in every relationship that we have.

[00:04:46]W- Whether we're talking about just ourselves personally, we're talking about in a family, we're talking about uh with our friends, uh in communities, states, the country, the world as it is, all of this comes back to a lack of consideration of the significance of how we live and what our hierarchy of values really is.

[00:05:07]Relationships break down because of this.

[00:05:10]They break down one because a hierarchy of values just is never considered, or number two, because in our hierarchy, we place ourselves above God and his desires, and above others and their desires.

[00:05:24]This is This is a sure way to break down society as a whole.

[00:05:28]And this is what's happening all around us. This is why so many people are kind of miserable. You know, the the an interesting thing, we'll talk about this more at the end, but an interesting thing is the actually the more we live for ourselves by placing ourselves above God and others, the more miserable we actually end up becoming.

[00:05:43]Uh and uh the opposite is also true. Vice versa is also true.

[00:05:48]So, when I when I talk about a hierarchy of values, what do what do I mean?

[00:05:53]Essentially, what we're talking about here is thinking in terms of service.

[00:05:59]What and who do I serve first? And and what and who am I willing to sacrifice in order to serve what comes above them in my list.

[00:06:11]Okay?

[00:06:12]There's really no practical way for a society or even a family to function well if my service goes to my own will and my ego first.

[00:06:23]And then I put everybody below me.

[00:06:25]If everybody Think about this. If everybody in a family is living that way, what's going to happen? You're going to have a lot of fighting and arguing. You're going to have a lot of resentment. You're going to have a lot of as they say, you know, looking out for number one. And the relationships themselves are going to deteriorate that way.

[00:06:42]So, what for an Orthodox Christian is a healthy or rightly ordered hierarchy?

[00:06:47]What makes us a rightly ordered person?

[00:06:50]I I think that the the simple hierarchy of four elements goes this way. Christ is number one.

[00:06:57]Right below that is family, below that is our neighbor, and below that is ourselves.

[00:07:03]Christ, family, neighbor, the self.

[00:07:07]This I think is what I see when I read the lives of the saints. I I think I see this hierarchy of order in how they live. In in this order, pleasing Christ comes absolutely first. Whatever we do, we do in terms of I want to do it in a way I want to do it what is pleasing to Christ and I want to do it in a way that is pleasing to Christ.

[00:07:27]And I will not let anyone, neither myself, nor my friends, nor my even my family get in the way of my service to Christ.

[00:07:35]That's exactly what Christ calls us to, by the way, when he says, "I came not to bring peace, but a sword."

[00:07:41]I I I I came to cause division between father and son, between mother and daughter. What division is he's talking about? He's He's talking about presenting himself as king and lord so so uh powerfully and so obviously that people are going to be making a decision for Christ that indeed their own family may actually fight against. Now, this does not mean it doesn't mean intentionally offending other people in order to follow Christ and it doesn't mean that we don't take them in into consideration.

[00:08:12]I don't want anyone misconstruing what I'm saying here and saying, "Well, I don't have to consider what my family or friends think when I go to serve Christ." No, we want we want to be able to uphold that hierarchy of values so that we're serving all but Christ comes first. Not that so that we're serving Christ while intentionally dismissing everybody who comes below him because then what we're really doing is saying, "My idea of serving Christ actually goes above family and friends. So, actually my proper hierarchy is Christ, my idea of service to him, which is really ego, then family, then friends." We can't We can't do it that way.

[00:08:44]But it it does mean that if fulfilling the demands and desires of family and friends will sorrow Christ I'd rather sacrifice the the family and friends' desires in order to follow my Lord and God.

[00:08:58]And and I I need to be open to doing so as painful and as difficult as that may be.

[00:09:04]Now, in in this you notice that what I want what I want apart from the desire to actually have the hierarchy and to serve Christ and others first, it's very last thing on the list.

[00:09:15]This is the way we really ought to live is taking into consideration what we want, what's comfortable for us and putting it dead last. I tell this to my kids all the time. I don't tell them that what they what they want doesn't matter. I tell them that what they want is not the most important thing.

[00:09:31]But the most important thing is to be obedient to Christ and then be obedient to your parents.

[00:09:39]And then be obedient to one another. And then take into consideration what you want. It's a very, very difficult thing to learn and it really can only be learned through example and through living with people who are like that.

[00:09:49]So, I going to a good monastery is really helpful because you see people who live this way.

[00:09:54]This I I alluded to this already. This is kind of the upside down logic of the Gospels.

[00:10:00]The Gospels say that if we wish to find ourselves, we must lose ourselves.

[00:10:05]That's losing ourselves, putting ourselves at the very bottom of that hierarchy.

[00:10:09]It's it's a it's a far cry from causing myself harm.

[00:10:13]Because over time, what we find is that this is actually the path to true happiness.

[00:10:18]I'm most happy when I see that I've pleased my Lord, my family, and my neighbor.

[00:10:23]Even if it means that I've had to put the things that I wanted to do that particular day aside.

[00:10:27]You not just putting them off, but maybe getting rid of them altogether. Now, if in this process, and a lot of people will say, "Yeah, but if if we don't serve ourselves in any way like that, you know, you can end up having pent-up resentments. Uh you can end up becoming bittered."

[00:10:41]You might. A lot of people have this idea that, you know, I need to take me time every I need I just need a me day.

[00:10:46]But pampering the self doesn't make that better over time. It actually makes it worse because then you have start have this expectation that I will only serve Christ and my neighbor and my family when it's feels good to me.

[00:10:58]Which is not the way we want to live.

[00:10:59]Actually, when we're inwardly disturbed by this approach, when we say, "Yeah, but what about me? I'm doing so much of sacrifice for God. I'm doing so much of sacrifice for my family and I'm always left miserable." Well, you're miserable because you're not actually putting them first.

[00:11:14]And you And it's not the real you at that point.

[00:11:17]It's the false you.

[00:11:18]The false you is what's disturbed by this. And that's the ego.

[00:11:22]The ego is disturbed and upset when we don't take it into consideration.

[00:11:28]When the ego feels dismissed and uncared for, it throws fits. It gets pent up and and has a problem. Now, from the Christian perspective, that's good because we go, "Oh man, I didn't even know that I had ego left there. Now I can actually deal with it." But if we take this from a selfish, from an egocentric, or from a secular perspective, we think, "Well, there must be a problem. I need to learn to serve others in a way where I myself am always pleased." And if I'm not pleased, then I refuse to serve. That's not really service. That's not self-sacrifice whatsoever. This is not what the gospel calls us to.

[00:12:00]So, from the Christian perspective, when we find that the ego is disturbed, we say, "Well, this is good because I don't want my ego to have comfort." In fact, I want my ego to be so consistently and so deeply uncomfortable that eventually it declares, "I can no longer be at rest at home here." And it leaves. And it departs from the heart.

[00:12:22]That's what we're actually seeking to do, and that's the asceticism of this path.

[00:12:27]This is the path, as I said, of the saints. It's the path of the gospel.

[00:12:29]This is exactly what Christ calls us to.

[00:12:32]So, to recap here, we have to understand that everybody has this hierarchy of values. Everybody has this hierarchy of who and what they serve first, and what they're willing to sacrifice in service of that order.

[00:12:47]Who am in what am I willing to sacrifice in my service of Christ?

[00:12:51]Then in my service of my family, so long as that doesn't get it it it aligns well with my service to Christ, in service to my neighbor, so that it aligns well with my service to family and and Christ, and then to myself.

[00:13:06]Everybody everybody really ought to A, know their hierarchy of values, and B, this is the tough one, to train themselves to actually make decisions in light of it.

[00:13:20]This is a difficult thing to do. It takes a lot of time. We have to have a lot a lot of patience, but we have to have a valiant and courageous spirit in pushing this forward. What that means is that we need to look uh through our hierarchy of values as a lens and examine our actions, our words, even our thoughts, and say, "Do they align with this hierarchy?" And anything that doesn't align with that hierarchy, I'm going to I'm going to reorder. As much work as it takes, I'm going to reorder, and I'm going to seek to to uh to correct myself and to reorder my own inner world so that it aligns with this hierarchy.

[00:13:55]So, again, you know, just to reiterate, what's what's the hierarchy of the saints? What's the hierarchy of the apostles? What's the hierarchy that Christ himself was a witness to, lived and taught us to do?

[00:14:07]It put God first, then family, then friends, and then the self. And I I I think this is what we see in the Gospels, and I think this is really the path towards uh true happiness, a deeper happiness that isn't selfish uh and isn't childish, which is is the way a lot of us seek happiness, uh but rather is one that makes us whole, and drives out the false self, the ego, and discovers the true self, which is is the the man made in the image of God, the spiritual man that St. Paul talks about.

[00:14:36]I pray that this reflection was beneficial to you. In the words of the great saint of Romania, Elder Cleopa of Sihăstria, may heaven consume you.

[00:14:45]Amen.