Why Is It So Hard To Quit Alcohol

Added: 2026-05-10

[00:00:00]Okay, here we are again. Welcome back everybody. This is the We Quit Booze Brothers, which is a podcast where we try to have honest, no fluff conversations about our various experiences of quitting alcohol. And with me as always is my brother Matt.

[00:00:16]Hello Matt.

[00:00:18]Good evening, Mark. We are back. It's been a long time. We apologize to all our loyal, devoted fans. We have taken some time out. We've both been on holiday. We actually been on holiday together for a small period of time and then we stayed on with my family. So we've had a wonderful time and we did try and record. We did try and get it together, but you know, things got in the way and unfortunately we had to leave it. So you know, please bear with us. We we do have these breaks from time to time. Please stay watching, enjoying, and hopefully learning. We we are keeping doing these. We haven't We haven't left YouTube. So yeah, we're back again. I think we've got a pretty cool pretty cool topic to to get back into the swing things with.

[00:01:04]We do. We do. Yes, so life has just got in the way, but but but there you go.

[00:01:10]Such is life. So yeah, so I think it is a it is a it's really interesting topic.

[00:01:14]I mean, all topics I think related to this subject we we find fascinating as anybody listening will know, our thousands of listeners. All right, not even a thousand, but you know, we're getting there.

[00:01:25]Would know, but I think this one in particular and it's it's the the question is really why is it so difficult to quit drinking alcohol? And look, you know, there are a myriad of reasons, but this podcast is about our experience. So what I try to do is just try to think of well, what were the sort of three things, the three big things that I think you know, made it really difficult for me because we both drank for a long time before we decided to quit. The first one for me was very much about identity and habit.

[00:01:59]Um it just became ingrained. It It's something that just was full tilt, you know, kind of who I was.

[00:02:07]I I linked it to to to everything. It was almost the it it punctuated my entire life, you know, everything that I did was was sort of laced with the, you know, the times that I would be I would be drinking, you know, I linked it to something that I did as a celebration. It was my reward.

[00:02:27]It was the thing that I did at the end of the working week in order to, you know, announce the uh the weekend that the sort of the the the the free time. So, it was it was very very much just this completely ingrained way of of life, way of way of living, you know, booze, alcohol was it was what I did. I know, Matt, you you've talked about it, and sorry if I sort of uh just about to uh tread on your uh on your subject matter, but you you were going to I think, you know, one of the things you always say is that it was your hobby, almost. It was the thing that you >> Yeah. 100%. you you loved to do. So, so it's just it was just hardwired, you know, sort of brought up around uh parents that drank alcohol, uh brought up around, you know, people who socialized with alcohol, very much a sort of part of the cultural conditioning. So, it was just I did I think I sort of almost for years and years did it without thinking, just assumed that that's that's what we did.

[00:03:21]That I think leads to this sort of the sort of dangerous part where it kind of rewired my brain, I feel. Um you know, the sort of dopamine pathways became, you know, reliant, I think, on on alcohol. It was It was the thing that I The more I drank, the more my brain expected alcohol, the more my reward system expected alcohol, the more I came to depend on alcohol as the thing that gave me, you know, that sort of reward system. Um Um you know, it it it it was something that it it it almost, you know, my I think I feel like it became a I feel like my I wasn't I don't think I was sort of physically addicted at any stage, but certainly it rewired my brain. You know, I I it um it it it just it kind of got to the point where I just expected it. Um >> [snorts] >> The third point, I think, is that when I didn't drink, um I always remember the dry January thing. I always remember pushing against that because I would say, "Well, you know, January is pretty [ __ ] depressing enough without taking alcohol away. You know, why on earth would you would you want to do that?" I think the broader picture there for me was that beyond drinking, whenever I didn't drink, whenever I wasn't drinking, you know, even during the years where I was a drinker, there were obviously days and sometimes weeks, not really weeks, but, you know, days in days, a few days in a row where I wouldn't drink, life was still life. And I think I found it fairly tough. Um you know, and what that it was a sort of double whammy, really, because life was stressful. Um there were times that were difficult, you know, I went through I had a business at the time which was you know, we'd only just started the business I think when my drinking really started to become, you know, when it when it really ratcheted up, it was it was during a period where the business was very, very stressful. So, it was almost like, well, if I don't drink, it's kind of crap, you know, it's it's a bit [ __ ] I remember when when I was drinking, I almost didn't want the fun to end. And I think if you maybe sort of reinterpret that, what I was kind of saying is not just that I don't want the fun to end, but I don't want the [ __ ] to start again. You know, I don't want to go back to just normal normal life. But what that leads me on to, which I think is interesting, is when I finally did quit and I sort of reframed it and and started to think about not what I was losing by quitting, but what I was losing by not quitting.

[00:05:58]That one really good decision led to a load of other really really good decisions, you know, about my health, about my physical health, about my mental health, my finances, sleep.

[00:06:08]And one of the reasons why sobriety becomes so addictive is because you change the MO. You don't live the old life that you used to live, you know, this sort of vicious circle of drink to feel the release, drink to get the reward system, drink to have the sort of fun times, sink back down into the murky reality of day-to-day life, look forward to another drink, rinse and repeat, and it just goes on and on and on like a hamster wheel.

[00:06:38]And when you finally cut that, what I found is that I started to make changes to the way I live my life I live my life differently now. I don't live that life.

[00:06:47]You know, yes, things can be stressful.

[00:06:49]Yes, there's worry, but I'm able to deal with it so much better. So So the the the there's there's a sort of two parts to this. One is yes, it's a great thing to do to stop drinking alcohol, but by quitting alcohol and getting sober, there's an there's an even better thing that that it it is when you start to live a different life and a better more productive, you know, more purposeful life. So I'll stop there. I always do too much talking at the beginning. I'll hand over to you and maybe come back and make a few other points, but they were they were the sort of top three. So just to summarize, it was who I was, it was my identity. I became reliant on it.

[00:07:23]Became total habit.

[00:07:24]Definitely rewired my brain's reward system. I think all the dopamine pathways started to exist and sort of coexist around alcohol. And I think life was stressful and I found it without alcohol it was it was you know, that was my reward. That was my relief. That was my out. So um so there you go. So, that's that's my summary.

[00:07:44]Brilliant. Yeah, I mean, you know, booze is complex, isn't it? Right? It's it's so driven by lifestyle, habits, peer group, advertising, and of course, it's you know, highly addictive.

[00:07:57]What got me thinking about this topic was in the UK, and it was supposed to happen in New Zealand, but but didn't.

[00:08:05]There's a new law that's coming out, which the idea is that there will be no future generations that will be able to smoke legally in the UK. So, how does it work? Basically, if you are born after 2009, so I have a son who was born in 2010, so it would be his case.

[00:08:27]He will never legally be able to walk into a shop and buy cigarettes.

[00:08:31]He will be challenged on his age, and even if he's 39, if he was born after 2009, he will not be sold cigarettes.

[00:08:40]Now, you know, I'm not going to go into the black market or any of that stuff, but the the interesting thing about it was I was watching uh a debate about this actually on French television.

[00:08:51]And someone asked the question, well, how morally right is that? You know, we and then they made the point, a really interesting point, which was in some countries, more deaths now occur from alcohol.

[00:09:06]Yet, we're not talking about making or creating a generation without alcohol.

[00:09:13]And that got me thinking, God, doesn't that make it so hard to to quit? You know, it's so ingrained in society that we could never challenge it. You think, would a day would a day come when they may look at it in the same way as as smoking, where it is such a drain on health systems, it's such a kills multiple people, you know, many people should I say, every day in the world.

[00:09:41]I don't think it will. And part of me says, well, that is kind of maybe fine because moderation moderate people more, you know, we Our father has has drunk for many years in a very, very moderated way, and he's enjoyed it. In fact, he doesn't drink anymore.

[00:10:01]Um so, what harm has it done? Don't know. Maybe it has, maybe it hasn't. He did have a cardiac arrest when he was 75, but um that's another story. So, you know, it's it's so so difficult just to stop because of these outside pressures.

[00:10:21]There's also the point, I think, when certainly it was my case, where, you know, for me it was so ingrained. I had this on button. I didn't have the off switch.

[00:10:32]And I think, regardless of what we say, there is an element of choice which comes into this. And for many years, I chose to believe all the peer group, lifestyle, advertising that I wanted to be part of that thing.

[00:10:51]And really, it's about the pain. So, I believe anybody who quits will have some sense of pain. Whether that pain might be about this is making me non-productive on a Monday. [snorts] This is making me I am overweight. Whether it's you're so far gone that you are embarrassed by what you've become.

[00:11:22]And you know, why can't we just give up booze? Well, I think, unfortunately, because of the world we live in, we really, for those of us who are entrenched, you have to have that level of pain come and come and hit you. And and it is it is does become a a choice whether you ultimately sort it out yourself, whether you watch videos like this, whether you go to rehab, however you do it, you know, that choice comes in.

[00:11:51]And uh you know, I think I think I just feel that society has made it extremely difficult for people to for some people, particularly our generation, I think, who've grown up with with the booze generation, generation uh X, you know, it's time to take a stand, I think, and and make it not be everywhere. And maybe make it more difficult to buy alcohol.

[00:12:15]And hey, maybe one day we should look at it in the same vein as cigarettes.

[00:12:20]Mhm. Yeah, fascinating. I think it is changing, and I think attitudes are changing. And I I I do think that the kind of when when we grew up, you know, um you know, we we we're we're both in our 50s. I'm very much later in my 50s than than you.

[00:12:38]But, you know, there there were you [snorts] know, alcohol was sort of prescribed almost. I mean, you know, there's Bell's whiskey, the famous slogan that sits underneath their logo is "A fore we go."

[00:12:53]And that relates to uh a period in I think it was the First World War, where uh soldiers heading into the trenches or going over the over the line were given a nip of a nip of Bell's, a nip of of whiskey um as a bit of Dutch courage, you know, it was it was something that was uh you know, yeah, completely ingrained in in in the culture.

[00:13:21]Um I also think the other thing is is that when you are drinking, you don't believe people that are sober when they say it's better without it. You just don't believe it. You you you just think you like oh [ __ ] it.

[00:13:30]>> I agree. Like this No, there's [snorts] no you know, and it it's you if you could spend just a bit of time in this sober world that we live in, you know what I mean? It's it's coming up on 10 years for me now and I and you know, because we haven't done one of these videos for a little while. I did almost sort of drifted away from my thought Oh, yeah, we're talking about and it's just so I I had to have kind of really think about What was the What Why did I drink?

[00:13:59]You know, like you you you brought the subject up and now that I don't drink, I said Why Why did I do it? Like What was it? I had to really think about it. So, um it isn't easy and I think any of the I don't think sometimes these sober channels are guilty of pretending that it's easy. Just don't put the alcohol in your mouth. Well, okay, but it's not that easy. I wish it was, but it but it isn't. Yes, it is and it isn't and I I appreciate that that's a sort of a you know, a a kind of slightly rhetorical uh point. Um but the good news is that if you do do it, there is just this new world, this new life that we we're both part of that you know, led us to be you know, so we're so passionate about the changes that we decided as a couple of old farts we we do a YouTube channel to try to encourage as many other people as we can. But I suppose my closing point really is that if you you are still drinking, you do feel bad about yourself and you feel guilty. As I always say, it it it's not your fault. It's not your fault that you've become that drink or alcohol has become a problem for you on whatever level that scale is, you know, whether it's the sort of you know, I just occasionally overdrink and say the wrong things or you know, I'm habitually drinking too much on a daily or weekly uh basis. So, the point is it's not it's not your fault if you become uh you know, if you if you develop a problem with alcohol, but it is your responsibility to at least try to do something about it. And that's really what you know, what this is, this is all about. So, um that's my closing point, really, that yes, it's not easy.

[00:15:28]If If it was, I think more people would do it, of course, but there is a way through it. There is a route to it.

[00:15:33]Listen to all of our podcasts. There's, you know, we we we map it all out for you.

[00:15:38]We've done podcasts on how to manage the first week, how to manage in social situations, you know, all of that sort of good stuff. Um and uh yeah, my final point that I'm I wrote down here is that sobriety led me to make better decisions. You know, that one really good decision to quit alcohol led to a myriad of amazingly good decisions, which have put my life in a different place. I mean, I'm a I'm a you know, I'm just living a completely different life and and uh I'm so so glad I I made that decision.

[00:16:10]Yeah, no, it's uh it's it's 100% why we why we do this. You talked just then about, you know, hoping this gives you the responsibility to to do it, to make that change. And well, you need to take that responsibility on yourself, but you know, we do this so that we can try and help people see, like really see and listen and hear and understand what it's like, what how life is so much better when you are in that problem phase of alcohol and when you when you stop it, you know, really is fantastic. We mentioned this at the beginning of the recording. We we were on holiday uh together um in in beautiful Majorca, very very fortunate to to be there.

[00:16:54]Uh and we, you know, I I I cannot think of what could have been better on that holiday.

[00:17:03]And then we actually spoke about it. We were like, can you imagine if we were still drinking now? We'd be in the square, we'd be up till 1:00 2:00 in the clock in the morning. The spirits would be out. We would be wiped out the next day.

[00:17:15]Even Even the fact that when we went to places to visit, to the beach, whatever, we both drove. It was no problem. We had not any point did we think, "Hmm, I had a bit to drink at lunch, you know, that's that's a risk."

[00:17:30]All that goes away. So, I guess going back to the original title is, you know, why can't we just quit?

[00:17:38]Because there's so much outside pressure. It is part of society, but don't feel in any way inadequate or judged or anything like that if you have become or you have reached the problem phase of alcohol. It's highly addictive.

[00:17:57]It's It's society has made it so.

[00:18:01]But, trust me, work at it because the rewards are sensational. And And that's, you know, that's why we do this.

[00:18:11]Absolutely. Absolutely fantastic. Okay, well, look, I think we'll leave it there. Um first one back for a while. Uh you know, we sort of eased ourselves in with with one of the biggest topics on this subject we could find. Yeah, we're a bit rusty, yeah. Yeah, hopefully it hasn't Um thanks for sticking with us. If you're If you made it to this point, we're we're we're very grateful. As we always say, you know, if you can hit the subscribe button or leave comments, anything that you can do that uh helps more people see this content uh the better. But, for now, unless there's anything left for you from you, Matt.

[00:18:45]No, [snorts] all good. We should be back on a normal run of vids. So, hopefully you can enjoy and stay with us. So, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for watching.

[00:18:55]Perfect. So, as I always say, never quit quitting. It's goodbye from me.

[00:19:00]And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye from him. Till the next time. Bye for now.

[00:19:05]Bye-bye.

[00:19:18]>> Mhm.