Women Are Furious As Men Keep Leaving Dating Apps

[00:00:00]I have a theory about modern dating and dating apps. I think that we're actually not supposed to date as many people as we do. And hear me out because I'm not talking about body count. We are schmemax positive over here and we do not shame how many partners you choose to have. What I'm talking about is that I think we end up meeting and going on dates with way more people than we're supposed to. In the sense that when I think about the times pre-dating apps, which I lived in, I'm turning 39, so I was around before dating apps became a thing. You had to rely on just meeting people in the wild. Obviously going to school, having a job, that kind of stuff made it easier and makes it easier to this day because you will meet people in the spaces that you frequent yourself in. I also think, but I'm not sure that back then people were bolder when it came to like picking up in public. And I'm talking about picking up in like a respectful way because there's a disrespectful, annoying way to do it.

[00:00:56]You would have a partner like every once in a while, every few years sometimes, that person that came along every now and then that you just felt a spark with and wanted to pursue things with. I just remember having crushes. My dating life was dictated by who I had a crush on and like fantasized about all summer. I don't remember honestly the last time I had a crush. Like I don't remember. I mean, I kind of fell in love with someone I saw in the elevator today, and that was like the most fleeting moment ever, but I am thinking about that person for the rest of the day. And we didn't exchange a single [ __ ] word.

[00:01:33]But you know that if I crossed paths with that person in some kind of social space cuz I did not know what the [ __ ] to say in a 3-second elevator ride, there would be something brewing. With dating apps today, I feel like we are sorting through so many [ __ ] options and going on dates and trying out all kinds of people and then feeling disappointed that most of them don't work out. And I think that it actually makes sense that most of them don't work out because those people that we actually have a spark with and actually want to end up dating are few and far between. So my thinking is kind of like, is it even worth bothering with the inbetweens? Maybe they still teach us something or help us grow, but a lot of the time I feel like they just like bring a bunch of [ __ ] that we have to deal with and heal from. Of course, there's the idea that we want that intimacy and connection because it is harder to meet people in the wild. But then I'm like, is it is it just cuz I'm like in my late 30s? I work from home. I don't really go places anymore because I feel like if I went to more spaces and was around more people, I would meet more people in the wild. I think it just makes sense that dating apps are exhausting cuz it's not natural.

[00:02:46]>> More men are deleting dating apps than ever before. And a lot of [music] women still don't understand why. The other day, a friend told me he deleted every dating app on his phone. [music] I asked if he'd download them again. He laughed and said, "Honestly, I forgot they even existed." [music] Then he told me he had more money, less stress, and better weekends than he'd had in years. That conversation stuck with me because I'm hearing the same thing from more and more men. This isn't just one guy's experience anymore. [music] It's becoming a much larger shift.

[00:03:20]>> My female coworker has already 39 people she's talking to on a dating app. My >> See, the only thing that I run into when it comes to that is that you started this three days ago.

[00:03:31]>> Two days ago.

[00:03:35]Like do you realize like for guys we have to wait like weeks to get like likes let alone a person that we are interested in. Now don't get me wrong I feel for this man. He wants love like anybody else. But the thing about it is there are some men that feel a certain sense of entitlement for wanting certain women. And when they can't get that they get frustrated. That's why they get mad at the rich aunties. How dare you be rich and attractive and fit and have all these things going for yourself and you don't want a man? Like I feel like they feel like women belong to them. So how dare you play hard to get? If I'm on a dating app, why aren't you throwing yourself at my feet and they get frustrated when it doesn't work out like that? The fact that women have collectively decided to raise their standards is something that frustrates so many single men because as I said it before and I'll say it many times again, settling is how a lot of them get picked. They don't want to come to the table with things that women actually want. They want to come to the table with money because that has been the easy solution for decades and decades and decades. But women are making their own money. So we're asking what else you got? And a lot of them are tapping all over the place because they don't know what else they have. They can't add emotional intelligence, that they're kind, that they're patient, that they're romantic, that they know how to listen like or whatever it is, they can't add anything besides money. So, when you say, "I don't need your money." They don't know what else they can offer you.

[00:04:59]So, they get frustrated with the women.

[00:05:01]Why aren't you throwing yourselves at us? If my life is already amazing and fulfilled, for you to come in here, you're not going to come in here and disturb the peace. You're either going to add to it, but I will never let you take anything away. For many men, online dating gradually became more exhausting than rewarding. Endless swiping, trying to stand out, and investing emotional energy into conversations that quickly disappear, [music] can leave people feeling drained instead of encouraged.

[00:05:30]Over time, it becomes easier [music] to question whether the process is worth the effort at all. Many eventually decide that their time, attention, and emotional energy [music] are better invested in their careers, health, friendships, and personal goals.

[00:05:47]>> Men and women get get frustrated by dating apps, but often for different reasons. Men get frustrated because they find it tough to get matches. Women get frustrated because they get too many matches. Men get frustrated because when they reach out, they don't get a reply or they get a lackluster reply. Women get frustrated because men suck at starting intriguing conversations. Men get frustrated when a woman ghosts them after a few days of chatting. Women get frustrated when a man only wants to be pen pals and won't ask her on a date.

[00:06:16]Men get frustrated when women look really good in profile pics, but not so much in person. And women get frustrated by that as well. I can't help the women.

[00:06:24]>> Just to let you guys know how lowquality these men are on the dating apps and that they're not really there to find their match. They're just there to play dating with you. so they can try and hook up with you. These are what they'll do. And if they do any of these things, they're trash. Don't make the same mistakes I made. I had a guy that would get my seat belt for me. He picked me up, took me to a restaurant, and then told me that he downloads and uses the apps because he's sexually frustrated.

[00:06:50]Got it. Another time I was walking to the bathroom, and when I came back, he said, "Hey, you didn't look very good from the back, but then when you turned around, I was like, "Oh, she's kind of pretty." Another guy told me in the middle of dinner that I was average looking. He was average looking and that's why he thought it would work out.

[00:07:06]Also that he had a trailer that I could use if I ever needed it.

[00:07:11]Another guy, we were riding home and I pointed out a nice restaurant I wanted to go to and he said maybe if you play your cards right and obviously invited me over afterwards and I said no. And even the ones that look like they have their [ __ ] together like hotel executives, I've been on a couple dates with those. I literally was in the middle of the meal and the guy had his friend come over and write off the whole meal.

[00:07:34]And then as he walked through the casino and said hi to everybody, we also got free tickets to shows. Like the whole thing was written off. It was free.

[00:07:42]Another guy that I went on a date with, I didn't finish the drink. He kind of complained and said, "Oh, well, at least they're tax writeoffs."

[00:07:49]Then took me to a really nice restaurant and then asked me to come over afterwards and pretty much threw a fit when I said no and just stormed off and was gone forever.

[00:07:58]Uh, extreme Dusty I dated for like almost three months, invited me over to his house for a bonfire, took me to like free car shows and a very cheap play. I I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Probably the nicest date I went on, I went to a Vegas show and uh the guy was a high school teacher. His house was a disaster and he told me he had a incurable STD, the H. And I said, I can't chance that. He was a raging alcoholic and threw a fit. No thank you.

[00:08:25]So anyways, these men on these apps are pure trash and they're playing dating with you. They're playing taking you on a date because they want to try and see how easy you are. Don't make it easy.

[00:08:38]Make them wait. If they wait, they might like you. Also, make them buy stuff for you and take you places you actually want to go. Otherwise, don't waste your time. Spend your time on yourself. After enough disappointing experiences, many men simply [music] stop participating the way they once did. Constant rejection, conversations that go [music] nowhere, and feeling like they're putting in all the effort eventually change how they view online dating.

[00:09:04]Rather [music] than becoming bitter, many appear to be redirecting their attention toward building lives they already enjoy. When peace becomes more valuable than chasing validation, walking [music] away starts to feel like a perfectly reasonable decision.

[00:09:19]>> Reason 1 million and one why the dating apps [ __ ] suck is the men on there are ass [ __ ] ugly. Y'all literally built the fire then climbed into the pot. You decided amongst yourselves that putting effort into how you look, caring about your appearance means you're gay.

[00:09:35]Now you're unattractive and women don't want to be with you. And yet you somehow still feel entitled to having an attractive, intelligent partner. But then she makes you feel insecure because you don't like how you look. You don't feel good about yourself. You lack self-confidence. And then you blame her.

[00:09:52]If you don't put effort into how you look and how you present yourself, why would I think you're going to put effort into me and our relationship if you can't even do it for yourself? Take a [ __ ] shower, get a haircut, get a skincare routine, and start wearing some better clothes that fit and look good.

[00:10:06]put some [ __ ] effort in and you may start getting some more matches. And if you're going to be offended by this, I would strongly suggest you look at the amount of matches you have and take a look at yourself. Do something about it.

[00:10:18]>> One challenge that often goes unnoticed is that short-term attraction and long-term compatibility [music] are not always driven by the same qualities. The people someone finds exciting in the moment [music] are not necessarily the same people they see themselves building a future with. And that disconnect [music] can create frustration on both sides. It helps explain why so many interactions never develop into lasting relationships.

[00:10:44]Looking at dating through a long-term lens often changes what people begin to value.

[00:10:51]If the message hit, like, comment, and subscribe. Thanks so much for watching and I'll see you in the next