"I Don't Think a Mindset Shift Is Going To Help You"

Added: 2026-06-01

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[00:00:06]So, uh recently I have gone to a bit of debt because of online blackjack. Oh, yeah.

[00:00:13]>> And I was curious what's the best way to go about a mindset shift and the best way to attack this debt? Mhm. It's a lot. That's a That's a growing um Yeah, a growing thing that we're seeing is online gambling whether it's sports or not. How much How much is that is it?

[00:00:31]Uh it's around 13,000 in credit cards. I also owe 5,000 on a car and 2,000 on a personal loan. Okay. Uh are you married?

[00:00:42]I'm not. I'm single.

[00:00:43]>> Okay. How old are you, brother?

[00:00:46]I am 23. Okay.

[00:00:48]Um I I I don't think a mindset shift is going to help you here.

[00:00:56]Um and I'm going to tell you like I'm biased, okay?

[00:01:00]I'm just watching online gambling destroy a generation of men, especially young men.

[00:01:08]And when I say destroy, I'm not saying that um I'm not saying that flippantly.

[00:01:12]It's melting people. And so I it You used to have to go to Vegas to gamble. You used to have to It's It's like you can just get cocaine in your pocket now, right? And so I I would at 23, if you were my friend, if you were my son, um I would tell you to go see go to Gamblers Anonymous. Just go to a meeting.

[00:01:36]And start treating this as seriously as I think you should.

[00:01:42]Yeah, I know. I've definitely had a lot of family and friends be there for me, but they They're not experts. They Yeah.

[00:01:49]They They tell me the same thing. Yeah.

[00:01:52]Um and if those closest to you love you enough to say, "Hey, you need need go see somebody." or you need to go get a handle on this thing, then let them love you in that way.

[00:02:00]And um we could spend a whole a whole 1-hour show, whole 3-hour show on the ins and outs of addiction.

[00:02:08]Just know this. Um I I like when I'm watching the fights with my buddies, I like I'll put five bucks on this guy. I like that. It's fun. And when Rachel and I go to Vegas, like I like to go to blackjack tables and stuff like that.

[00:02:20]I intentionally don't have it on my phone because the folks who make those apps, they're better than me.

[00:02:27]They just are.

[00:02:28]And they know how to hook you. They're designed to keep you on them. They're designed to incentivize you to never put them down. And now with prop bets, man, you know this, it never ends.

[00:02:39]Yeah. And right? So, all I have to say is I kept on until I lost it all. Yeah.

[00:02:43]And you're you're up just knowing you're up against a machine that is designed to eat your soul.

[00:02:50]And when you when you recognize that, I mean, that's one of the 12 steps, I'm powerless, right? I can't I can't defeat you, so I can't go to this bar anymore.

[00:02:58]The problem is the bar's in your pocket now.

[00:03:01]And so deleting all the apps today, getting this debt squared up, and then going to a Gamblers Anonymous meetings, and make it a regular part of your life for a season. It won't be forever, but make it a regular part of your of your life for a season, and begin to answer the question, what am I trying to distract myself from, right? Why am I not okay in my own skin? And the pathway through that is honesty and openness in front of other people.

[00:03:26]And um there's no hack around that, right?

[00:03:29]Right.

[00:03:31]Grant, how much Um Sorry. From the just the financial side, I'm curious. How much do you make a year?

[00:03:39]Uh I make 68,000. I'm an accountant.

[00:03:42]Okay.

[00:03:43]Um and you have 5,000 on your car. Is the personal loan was that Did you take that out and use for gambling, too, or was that for something else in life?

[00:03:53]That was tell me paying my rent this month cuz it got that bad.

[00:03:55]>> Okay, got you. Yeah.

[00:03:57]So, I'm wondering from the financial aspect and John obviously can talk um so much about that that addiction side, which actually I kind of want to loop back to in a little bit, John, but um but for you, Grant, what it would look like to get a handle and some quick wins financially in the in the positive realm because it's been such a negative connotation with your money with all this debt and the stress that this whole gambling world has caused.

[00:04:25]Um that I'm wondering some quick wins for you financially and how that's going to I think give you some some confidence of moving at least in the right direction, right? Some of that action.

[00:04:35]Um because it is you have to change obviously and be aware and all that with the addiction side, but I also think like right some positive movements going forward. So, um I think getting on a detailed budget and I think cutting some things out lifestyle-wise just to get some margin this month cuz to pay your rent, right?

[00:04:57]Um just to get your head above water, I think it's going to be really good and then start paying off some of this debt and maybe you're working extra, you're working weekends, you're working nights, but you're really shifting your energy uh towards the positive side of finances, which is actually going to look more sacrificial. The positive brings the sacrifice, but I want that for you. I want you to get ahead of this from the financial aspect, you know, as you kind of tackle the the that emotional side of it, John, cuz we see this, Grant. You're not alone.

[00:05:27]The the growing from like the sports betting to the gambling, I mean, all of it. It has grown so much cuz of online.

[00:05:34]And what like I know there's probably not one source, but what would you say for people listening, John, that is are just like Grant? Like what is that thing? Is it that yeah, you're just not comfortable in your own skin? You're having to find excitement somewhere else? It's going sideways? Like what's the I I think it's a And And Grant, jump in here if if any of this doesn't sound honest, okay, or doesn't sound right to you. But, Rachel, I think we're at this weird apex of of humanity, if you will, where we don't have to solve for basic things anymore. And there's a sense of aliveness that has left all of our bodies, right? I hear this a lot with married couples who would classify themselves not in a great, but in a fine or or good marriage.

[00:06:15]>> Yeah. And somebody has an affair. Yeah.

[00:06:17]And what they always come back is I felt alive again. I felt 22 again. And so, instead of doing the hard work of asking yourself what makes me feel alive in my day in and day out, and by the way, none of us are going to feel alive 24/7/365, but um we have a culture where we just like Grant, graduated from college, got his first accounting job, goes to work, comes home, goes to work, comes home.

[00:06:41]And you begin to just get that your life gets gray. And then all of a sudden >> There's like a There's a hit over here that works for >> this excitement. And then So, you this this crossroads here of all of us are dead in our own skin. And then you throw into, "Well, I'll solve it, right?" We don't We have an allergy to to boredom.

[00:07:00]We have an allergy to routine. And then now we got these magic wands in our pocket, man, that can take us on any ride. Pornography, um dating, uh swipe rights to online gambling. And it's just It's destroying us, right? Does that ring a bell, Grant?

[00:07:16]No, that sounds 100%. I mean, it I would say it started out with uh kind of what you were saying earlier. I was like, "I can throw five bucks on the fights." Like >> Yeah. just something I like to do. And then got my first job, and then we wrapped up the the busy season, obviously with tax season wrapping up, and it was just go to work, 10 hours, come home. Yeah.

[00:07:38]>> Yeah. And then eat food, go go bed.

[00:07:40]Yeah. And you get on that repeat cycle and Yeah. Yeah. You're One One of the One of the paths out for you, and by the way, this is a nightmare. I'm not saying this is going to be easy, is I want you to start being intentional about making some friends.

[00:07:55]Some real And I'm in my 40s, and I've had to go do this as a as a discipline.

[00:08:02]Um I'm going to go put myself in situations where I'm going to be with other people in the real world doing real life things.

[00:08:07]And not sitting around singing Kumbaya in a coffee shop, that's what I'm talking about. But like something silly.

[00:08:13]Like I'm going to join a bowling league, or I'm going to go do Toastmasters, or I'm going to start a Saturday lawn business with a with a kind of a friend, and we're going to become friends. But you got to put yourself I'm going to join a softball league. I'm going to go to comedy club. Like I'm going to do something where I have to rub shoulders and do a thing with other people. Because the days for you as a 23-year-old, your whole life has been curated from the time you're in kindergarten to middle school to high school, and then in college you were with the people in your own major, and then you graduate, man.

[00:08:43]You walk across that stage, and now it's you versus everybody for the rest of your life. And frie- You can just go into your one-bedroom apartment, and man, life gets real isolated real fast. That's right.

[00:08:54]>> sets >> So, man, we're going to We're going to hook you up with the EveryDollar app, and it's a budgeting tool. I think it's the best one out there, but it's a tool that you can use to get a handle on your money on on a daily basis, on a weekly basis, on a monthly basis, and beyond.

[00:09:08]Um and then yeah. Be Be real brave today and make a call, and go to a meeting this evening, and then get up early tomorrow and go to another meeting in the morning. And today's day one, brother. Create your free EveryDollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.