#illustration#tattoo #art#pov#procreate#drawing#whydidntmyexcomeback#digitalart

Added: 2026-05-18

[00:00:00]I like you. I like you, too.

[00:00:02]>> Will you be my girlfriend?

[00:00:03]>> Yes.

[00:00:04]>> Are you serious? This is the best day ever.

[00:00:07]>> She said yes.

[00:00:08]>> Congrats, bro. Son, I've never been more proud.

[00:00:12]>> Hey, wake up, dummy.

[00:00:14]>> Oh, great.

[00:00:18]>> Bro, I'm telling you, little bro is kind of dumb. I'm getting worried. Bro, calm down. He's not that dumb. Oh, yeah.

[00:00:23]Watch this. Hey.

[00:00:25]>> Yeah, what's up? If the plane was in the sky, >> okay, >> and then the plane crashes in between the borders of US and Canada, where do you bury the survivors?

[00:00:34]>> There isn't any survivors. It's a plane crash, >> you see.

[00:00:37]>> And if there was survivors, they wouldn't be buried because they're still alive.

[00:00:40]>> You probably heard that before. Let's try another one.

[00:00:43]>> Okay.

[00:00:43]>> Let's say you were in a race, right?

[00:00:45]>> Right.

[00:00:45]>> And you pass a second place. What place are you in?

[00:00:48]>> Second. Duh.

[00:00:49]>> You see, he's dumb. No, he's right.

[00:00:53]What?

[00:00:54]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:00:57]BRO, WHO ARE YOU STARING at like that?

[00:00:59]>> Oh, my bad. Kha, man, she's so cute.

[00:01:02]>> Bro, you know Kha only likes thugs, right?

[00:01:05]>> Really?

[00:01:06]>> Yeah.

[00:01:06]>> Tomorrow's the talent show, right?

[00:01:08]>> Yeah. Why?

[00:01:09]>> I have an idea.

[00:01:10]>> The next day, little butt, big gut. That's my type.

[00:01:18]That's my type. That's my type. Tall with a hairy back. She look right. She look right. She look right. I'm a thug, but I sleep with a nightlight. That night light before I go night night.

[00:01:29]Beef with your great grandma on sight.

[00:01:32]That's sight. That's on sight.

[00:01:34]>> Oh, great.

[00:01:36]>> Mommy.

[00:01:36]>> Yes. Hold on. Shouldn't you be asleep?

[00:01:39]>> Well, um, I actually need some tape and glue for my project.

[00:01:43]>> Look at you trying to start your project early, but I don't think we have tape or glue, so I'll get it after school tomorrow.

[00:01:49]>> Well, the project is actually due tomorrow.

[00:01:52]>> What? Oh, what am I going to do with you?

[00:01:55]>> Sorry, Mommy.

[00:01:56]>> It's okay, sweetie. I'll figure something out.

[00:01:59]>> Thanks, Dad.

[00:02:02]>> Don't talk to me or you'll be thanking this hand.

[00:02:04]>> Oh, great.

[00:02:08]>> Hey, where's my phone? I don't know why you asking me. Because I know you.

[00:02:13]>> Mommy, >> not right now, sweetie. I'm talking to your big brother. Where's my phone? I have mine. Why would I need yours? I don't know. Maybe your school called and you're trying to hide it. Mom, I was like 12 when I did that. I'm 17 now.

[00:02:26]>> But mommy, >> what? Sweetie, what do you want?

[00:02:28]>> I took your phone.

[00:02:29]>> A sweetie, you should have just asked.

[00:02:32]Okay.

[00:02:33]>> Okay.

[00:02:34]>> Don't you owe me a Sorry or something?

[00:02:36]Yeah. Good night.

[00:02:40]>> Has anyone seen my laptop?

[00:02:42]>> I have it, sweetie. I'm about to look up purses real quick.

[00:02:45]>> Okay.

[00:02:52]No, I'm about to get a whipped >> a Thanks, sweetie.

[00:02:57]>> Huh?

[00:02:57]>> You were trying to get me popular gifts for my birthday.

[00:03:08]>> Honey, what's wrong with you? You seem distracted today. I don't know. Jimmy looks really different from our other kids. What are you trying to say? Did you have an affair?

[00:03:17]>> I did. I'm so sorry.

[00:03:19]>> Dang it. Who's the father?

[00:03:21]>> You are, >> bro. I totally forgot about this exam. I didn't study at all.

[00:03:31]>> I know. Me either.

[00:03:33]>> I'm going to fail. My parents are going to totally kill me.

[00:03:36]>> Right. I just hope I pass. Hey, class.

[00:03:38]You may turn your test papers over and start your test now.

[00:03:43]>> I'm done.

[00:03:45]>> Oh, great heaven.

[00:03:46]>> Who's that liar? Hey, Dad.

[00:03:48]>> What's up?

[00:03:49]>> Can I stay the night at Johnny's today?

[00:03:51]>> No. It's a school night.

[00:03:52]>> So, >> so no.

[00:03:54]>> Okay. How about if you solve this riddle, I'll do all the work that mom wants you to do, and if you get it wrong, I get to go to my friend's house.

[00:04:01]>> Okay, deal.

[00:04:02]>> I had $10, I give you $5, and I spent $2. How much money did I have?

[00:04:08]>> That's easy. Three.

[00:04:10]>> Wrong.

[00:04:12]>> Hey, Johnny, I'm coming over.

[00:04:13]>> What was the answer?

[00:04:17]What's up, son? Can I uh talk to you for a little bit? Of course, man. Come have a seat.

[00:04:25]>> You all right, man? Like looking a little nervous. I'm on your mind. You know, I've been preparing for it and uh just want to let you know that I'm gay.

[00:04:37]Okay.

[00:04:37]>> Yeah. All right.

[00:04:39]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, this does this uh this mean you seeing somebody or you know, I have been talking to this guy Okay. And uh what about pride? You going to start attending that?

[00:04:49]>> Pride is not really.

[00:04:52]>> Okay.

[00:04:54]You know, I didn't really hear you when you were telling me about the young lady, ma'am, that you're seeing. Uh when am I going to get to meet her him? He lives IN KENTUCKY. SO, I can't really see him quite see him quite often. You know what?

[00:05:13]>> What?

[00:05:14]>> Hey, Katie. I love you. I love you, too.

[00:05:16]No way. Really? Yeah, like a friend.

[00:05:19]>> Dang, you just got friend zone.

[00:05:22]>> Hey, since you're my friend, do you want to play a quick game with me? Sure. What comes after H? I. What's the opposite of hate? Love. And what's the opposite of me? Oh, I see where this is going.

[00:05:35]That's cute. Thanks. Now, tell me what's the opposite of me. I just told you.

[00:05:42]>> Dang. Emotion. Damage.

[00:05:46]>> Daddy, I'm going to ask that girl next door to be my girlfriend.

[00:05:49]>> I'm sorry, son, but you can't. I had a secret affair years ago. She's my daughter. 10 minutes later.

[00:05:57]>> What's wrong, sweetie?

[00:05:58]>> I want to date the girl next door, but dad said I can't because she's his daughter.

[00:06:02]>> It's okay, son. Go ask her on a date.

[00:06:04]>> But dad said it's wrong to date my own sister.

[00:06:07]>> He's not the only one that had a secret affair, son. He's not your dad.

[00:06:11]>> REALLY? YAY.

[00:06:13]Emotional damage.

[00:06:17]>> Son, your mom and I decided to ground you. Not really. For sneaking out of the house. I know. I'm the one that told you you could. You can't leave this room tonight. If you climb out your window, I'll help you down. And your mom said you have to eat leftovers. Don't worry.

[00:06:39]I'll order pizza. Oh, and give me your controller because no video games. Just give me your broken one. Act mad and sad.

[00:06:48]>> No, Dad. Why?

[00:06:50]>> Hopefully, this can teach you a lesson.

[00:06:55]>> Hey, what? No way. He talked.

[00:06:57]>> What's up?

[00:06:58]>> Please don't come to school tomorrow.

[00:07:01]>> Why? What would happen if I do?

[00:07:03]>> Then you're going to regret coming.

[00:07:04]>> I'm out of here. See you next year.

[00:07:06]>> Why would I regret coming?

[00:07:09]Please tell me >> it's Saturday. There's no school on Saturday.

[00:07:17]>> Hey, Mom. I'm home. Hey, son. How was school? It was great. We had a test in history, and I know I nailed it. Oh, really? Yeah. How was math? Math? Oh, math was great. We just had to solve a problem in front of the class. Really?

[00:07:30]What was yours? Mine was 280 - 4 / 4.

[00:07:34]That's cool. And how many dubs did you get on Fortnite at your friend Chris's house?

[00:07:38]>> Oh, we got like five dubs.

[00:07:43]>> Um um. How do you know that? Moms know everything. I'll go to my room. Wait, wait, wait. You know the deal.

[00:07:52]Here. Now turn around.

[00:07:55]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:08:01]>> Mommy, I'm hungry.

[00:08:02]>> Do you want me to make you a sandwich?

[00:08:04]Actually, can I just have Nutella on it?

[00:08:06]>> Nutella? Really?

[00:08:07]>> Yes, please.

[00:08:08]>> Fine. Go get it.

[00:08:09]>> Yay. Okay.

[00:08:10]>> A couple seconds later.

[00:08:12]>> No. Mommy.

[00:08:14]>> What? What's wrong?

[00:08:16]>> It's empty. There's no more.

[00:08:18]>> Boy, it's not empty. Let me see it.

[00:08:27]You see this? I told you it wasn't empty. Look, so much chocolate.

[00:08:31]>> But how? Don't worry, just eat it.

[00:08:33]>> You're the best, mommy.

[00:08:36]>> Hey, son. Just letting you know we're home. Okay. Yo, Dad. What's up? Did y'all eat yet? Yeah, we ate. Why?

[00:08:43]Because I asked mom to get me something.

[00:08:45]Did she get it? Oh, let me ask. Hey, babe.

[00:08:48]>> Yes. Did he ask to bring him something to eat? I forgot. Oh, and you told me.

[00:08:54]And I forgot. That's crazy. I mean, I guess people forget sometimes. Yeah, like our son. What? You definitely understand because we asked you to clean your room yesterday and wash the dishes and you said you forgot. Dad, that was an accident.

[00:09:06]>> Don't worry, we will definitely try to make sure tomorrow we don't forget.

[00:09:11]>> Oh, great. Emotional damage.

[00:09:16]>> Mommy, someone is calling dad's phone.

[00:09:18]>> Who?

[00:09:19]>> Sneaky link.

[00:09:20]>> What? Let me see. Hello. Hi. Is Mark there? No. No, he's not. Who is this?

[00:09:26]This is Rebecca, his girlfriend. Um, this is his wife speaking. That's a damn lie. We've been dating for a year and a half. What? We've been married for seven years. You better be joking.

[00:09:36]>> You tell Mike I'm not helping him pay for the house monthly anymore. And I'm removing him from my Netflix account.

[00:09:43]Oh, and that Louis bank he wanted for some reason. I want that back.

[00:09:48]>> Got you. I just pranked you. I'm actually his sister.

[00:09:54]I'll tell Mark you called.

[00:09:55]>> That is your brother.

[00:09:57]>> Sh. Bye.

[00:10:00]>> All right, bro. I'm going to go to work.

[00:10:02]You all right? My girl broke up with me.

[00:10:05]Why? She says she likes another guy.

[00:10:07]Dang, man. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? You're a cop, right? Can you arrest her? I can, but only if she breaks the law. She drinks a lot. I can't arrest her for that, but she's not 18 yet. Oh.

[00:10:25]>> Hey, bro.

[00:10:26]>> What's up? So, uh, I did it.

[00:10:30]>> No way. You finally broke up with her.

[00:10:32]>> Yeah.

[00:10:33]>> Hey, let's go. I'm proud of you. How you feel?

[00:10:37]>> Um, not too good. But you don't have to worry about me. You should worry about yourself.

[00:10:42]>> What is that supposed to mean?

[00:10:44]>> Her last words were, "If I can't have you, no one else can."

[00:10:48]>> Okay. What does that have to do with me?

[00:10:50]>> Well, you're the only person I hang out with that has my attention.

[00:10:58]Hey babe, my phone is dead. Can I use your phone real quick?

[00:11:01]>> Yeah, go for it.

[00:11:02]>> Um, what's the passcode?

[00:11:04]>> It's yours and your ex-girlfriend's anniversary.

[00:11:07]>> Okay, thanks.

[00:11:09]Why do you remember the anniversary of your ex-girlfriend?

[00:11:12]>> It was at this moment. He knew he >> Do you get it?

[00:11:21]>> Yeah. No, totally. Like I >> I get it. No. Like Yeah.

[00:11:27]>> Why are you doing that with your voice?

[00:11:28]>> What? What voice?

[00:11:30]>> Hi, Dad. Oh my god.

[00:11:33]>> You're so fake.

[00:11:34]>> What are you TALKING ABOUT?

[00:11:35]>> OH, GREAT HEAVENS.

[00:11:37]>> YO, SON. YOU READY FOR SCHOOL?

[00:11:39]>> OH, SHOOT. MY BAD. MY BAD. I didn't see nothing.

[00:11:41]>> Bro, hurry up.

[00:11:46]>> Hey, loser. Have you seen my charger?

[00:11:49]>> Ooh.

[00:11:51]Son, are you ready yet?

[00:11:52]>> Mom, get out. I'm changing.

[00:11:54]>> Be quiet. I'm your mother. You're my son. You came out of me. There's nothing on you that I haven't seen before. So, I'm going to wait here cuz you're late to school.

[00:12:03]>> Class, I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick. I don't want to hear a single noise. Okay. I'll be back in a few seconds. Yo, I dare you to go sit on the teacher's chair.

[00:12:11]>> What? That's crazy talk.

[00:12:13]>> A You scared?

[00:12:15]>> No. Okay, fine. Watch this. Look at me.

[00:12:19]I told you I wasn't scared.

[00:12:21]>> Dang, you crazy. Everyone be quiet. The teacher's coming.

[00:12:25]>> Thank you, class, for being so quiet.

[00:12:27]>> Miss Mark was on your chair.

[00:12:30]>> Oh, great.

[00:12:31]>> Hey, Mommy. Can I have a new TV?

[00:12:34]>> Um, no.

[00:12:35]>> Can I have a new laptop?

[00:12:36]>> No.

[00:12:37]>> Can I have a new PS5?

[00:12:39]>> No. You already have a PS2.

[00:12:40]>> Can I get the new iPhone?

[00:12:42]>> No. You still have the iPhone 6?

[00:12:44]>> Can I get the new Samsung?

[00:12:45]>> No.

[00:12:46]>> Can I get a new toothbrush? What do you think I am? Made of money.

[00:12:50]>> Well, isn't that what mom stands for?

[00:12:53]>> What? No way.

[00:12:54]>> Oh, great.

[00:13:01]>> Hey, do you need help? I know you're a stranger, but at this point, yes. He keeps barking here. Okay, let me see if I can help calm him down. Darren doesn't like listening. Wait, Darren Watkins?

[00:13:11]Yes. How'd you know that?

[00:13:19]Mommy, look. I made all this money cutting grass this weekend.

[00:13:22]>> Oh my gosh, that's really good.

[00:13:24]>> Thanks.

[00:13:25]>> Let me go ahead and hold on to it so you don't lose it.

[00:13:27]>> But mom, I'm a big kid now. I'm responsible.

[00:13:30]>> Wait, are you saying you don't trust me?

[00:13:33]>> No. Fine. Here you go.

[00:13:35]>> A couple days later.

[00:13:37]>> Hey, Mom. Can I get $20 out of my money?

[00:13:40]>> Oh, baby, about that. I spent that already. I forgot to tell you.

[00:13:46]Hey son. Yes, mom. Do the dishes. Okay.

[00:13:49]I'm so sorry, Mom. I'll do all the chores. It won't happen again. Hey, son.

[00:13:53]What's up, Mom? Hurry up and do the dishes. Oh, you want me to do the dishes? No, the neighbor's dishes, you idiot. Oh, so you want me to do the neighbor's dishes and then ours? Hurry up or you're going to get this whooping?

[00:14:04]It was better when you didn't remember me. You going to remember this belt?

[00:14:10]>> Hey, sweetie.

[00:14:11]>> What?

[00:14:11]>> Can you please do the dishes? Um, >> is everything okay? Why are you looking around like that?

[00:14:18]>> I'm trying to find who the heck you're talking to.

[00:14:20]>> Oh, great.

[00:14:24]>> Yo, bro, check this out. I just stole three muffins from the bakery.

[00:14:29]>> You're such a rookie.

[00:14:30]>> What?

[00:14:30]>> Let me show you how to do it the honest way. Follow me.

[00:14:34]>> Okay.

[00:14:34]>> At the bakery.

[00:14:36]>> Hey, you the owner here?

[00:14:37]>> Yeah. What's up?

[00:14:38]>> Listen, I got a magic trick for you.

[00:14:40]>> What is If I can make three of your muffins disappear and then reappear, I get them for free. Okay, deal. Go.

[00:14:50]>> What? You're going to poop them out? Is that the trick? No. Check my friend's bag.

[00:14:56]>> Oh, great.

[00:14:59]>> Oh, hey son.

[00:15:00]>> Dad, I'm showering.

[00:15:01]>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just looking for my jacket in the closet. Yo, bro, have you seen my headphones?

[00:15:05]>> No. Get out.

[00:15:09]Hey, mom is calling you. Why are you excited right now?

[00:15:12]>> I'm not. Get out.

[00:15:13]>> Let me help you with that. Hey, you still showering? You're wasting all the hot water.

[00:15:17]>> Mom, give me some privacy. Get out.

[00:15:19]>> Okay, I don't care. You came out of my womb.

[00:15:22]>> Oh, great heaven.

[00:15:24]>> Oh, I didn't do anything.

[00:15:27]>> Hey, you're grounded, mister.

[00:15:29]>> What?

[00:15:29]>> Yeah, for 3 months.

[00:15:31]>> Are you serious?

[00:15:31]>> No iPad, no video games, and no phone.

[00:15:35]>> But I didn't do anything wrong. They lost a loved one and I was just trying to be nice.

[00:15:39]>> Well, whatever you said trying to be nice was not nice.

[00:15:42]>> But I asked you this morning and you said that I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing. So I was walking around everybody for 2 hours telling them that we apologize.

[00:15:57]>> I'll treat you for $500, but if you don't get cured, I'll give you $1,000 back. Okay. Well, I lost all my taste in my mouth. Can you please help me? Nurse, can you get medicine from box 22 and put three drops in his mouth? That's gasoline. Congratulations, you got your taste back. That will be $500. The next day, I lost my memory. I can't remember anything. Nurse, can you get medicine from box 22 and put three drops in his mouth? Oh, no you don't. That's gasoline. Congratulations. You got your memory back. That will be $500.

[00:16:29]The next day, I lost my eyesight. I can't see anything. Well, I don't have any medicine for that. So, here's $1,000. But this is only $500.

[00:16:38]Congratulations. You got your vision back. That will be $500.

[00:16:42]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:16:43]>> Yo, you demolished him. Hold up, bro.

[00:16:46]Let me go to game chat real quick. I'll be right back.

[00:16:48]>> Dang, bro. You going to go in on him, huh? You know I got to Don't make him cry too much. Okay, hold up. All right.

[00:16:54]Yo, you are trash, kid. You're trash.

[00:16:57]Like, get off this game. Like, how'd you let me outbox you and no scope you?

[00:17:01]Like, how are you playing with your controller upside down? Try.

[00:17:05]>> Hey, good game, bro. Like, the way you were building and editing so fast was so awesome. Like, I hope one day I can be as good as you one day. You're literally the best player ever. Like, the building was incredible. I can tell you have a dad cuz my left to go get milk and never came back. But anyways, continue being great. Goodbye.

[00:17:32]Hey, driver. Can you take me to town, please? I've always wanted to kiss a nun. You can if you promise me you aren't married. No, I'm not married.

[00:17:40]Okay, kiss me then after the kiss. I feel bad cuz I lied. I am married. I feel bad, too. No, I lied. It's my fault. I'm not a nun. I'm Chris. I'm going to a costume party.

[00:17:55]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:17:59]H doctor, I can't take this pain anymore.

[00:18:02]>> If you take this pill, it will transfer the pain to the father.

[00:18:05]>> Really?

[00:18:05]>> Yeah.

[00:18:06]>> Baby, you always said you wish you could take my pain away.

[00:18:09]>> I did say that. Go ahead. I love you.

[00:18:11]>> Thank you.

[00:18:13]>> Ah, I feel so much better.

[00:18:15]>> You see, I told you I was really strong.

[00:18:17]I don't feel nothing.

[00:18:19]>> Why am I in so much pain?

[00:18:26]Honey, I think our son has reading problems.

[00:18:29]>> Really? Why? Well, look at this. Yo, son, can you spell this word?

[00:18:34]>> Um, m e d i c i n e.

[00:18:41]>> Good job. What's the word?

[00:18:43]>> Nasty.

[00:18:45]>> Oh my gosh. Do you see what I mean? It's because you didn't give him an easy one.

[00:18:48]Let's try again with this one. Can you spell this?

[00:18:52]>> D A D. Nice. Now put the letters together.

[00:18:57]>> Cheater.

[00:18:59]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:19:01]>> Hi there.

[00:19:01]>> Who are you?

[00:19:02]>> I'm from the Makea-Wish Foundation.

[00:19:04]>> No way. Really?

[00:19:05]>> And I'm here to make your wish come true. So, what's one thing you wish for?

[00:19:09]>> Anything?

[00:19:10]>> Yeah, anything.

[00:19:11]>> Okay. Um, I wish to meet Spider-Man.

[00:19:14]>> Okay, we're going to make that happen.

[00:19:16]>> Hey, let's go.

[00:19:17]>> And don't think I forgot about you. What do you wish for? I wish to not be sick anymore. Don't worry. We're going to do exactly what you asked for.

[00:19:25]>> Hold on. I didn't know that was an option.

[00:19:27]>> Oh my gosh. This is a miracle. He's cured. Wow, I feel so much better.

[00:19:32]>> Hey, can I change my wish, please?

[00:19:34]>> Did someone call for Spider-Man?

[00:19:36]>> Oh, great.

[00:19:40]>> Son, remember to never take off those headphones.

[00:19:42]>> Okay, Dad. I won't.

[00:19:43]>> Hey, loser. You look so ugly wearing those headphones.

[00:19:46]>> Hey, leave them alone. Don't listen to them. They're idiots. Thank you. Don't worry. I got you. But why do you wear those all the time? Well, my dad told me to never take them off. Oh, okay.

[00:19:56]>> Hey class, we're taking a pop quiz. Hey, no cheating. Take those headphones off.

[00:20:01]>> He can't hear you.

[00:20:02]>> Okay, I'll do it myself.

[00:20:06]>> Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.

[00:20:11]Breathe out.

[00:20:13]>> Wake up, Sophie.

[00:20:15]>> Hey, Grandpa.

[00:20:16]>> Hey, grandson.

[00:20:17]>> How old are you?

[00:20:18]>> I'm 70 years old. Why? I was just curious if you were really old and you are.

[00:20:23]>> I may be really old, but I got the body of an 18year-old.

[00:20:27]>> Okay, Grandpa. Whatever you say.

[00:20:29]>> I'm not kidding.

[00:20:30]>> Okay, then prove it.

[00:20:38]>> Oh, great.

[00:20:41]>> Okay, baby. I got to go. The plumber's here.

[00:20:43]>> Okay. I love you so much. Let me know if he fixes it.

[00:20:46]>> Okay. Bye.

[00:20:48]>> Finally. I thought you would never hang up. You ready for a real man?

[00:20:52]>> Sorry. And yes, you know I am.

[00:20:55]>> 3 hours later.

[00:20:57]>> Finally, someone who knows what they're doing.

[00:20:59]>> Um, what's that on your computer?

[00:21:01]>> Oh, great.

[00:21:08]>> Hey, Dad.

[00:21:08]>> What's up?

[00:21:09]>> Can I have some money for a Coke?

[00:21:10]>> Yeah, sure. Here's 400.

[00:21:12]>> Wa! Dad, it's only $2.

[00:21:14]>> What? Really?

[00:21:15]>> Yeah.

[00:21:15]>> Dang, the price really went down. Dad, I'm talking about CocaCola.

[00:21:19]>> Oh, >> hey, your total is going to be 25.64.

[00:21:28]>> Oh, really? Well, I can't afford that.

[00:21:31]>> Well, honestly, I don't know what to tell you. I have another order I have to go after this.

[00:21:35]>> Well, looks like I'm going to have to pay for that some other way. Wait, I actually have $30. Alexa, what the That's not in the script.

[00:21:43]>> Hey, class. I'm pregnant.

[00:21:46]>> Yay. Congratulations.

[00:21:48]>> Hey class, I'm pregnant.

[00:21:52]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:21:54]>> I'm done my homework. Can I play Fortnite now?

[00:21:57]>> No, it's your bedtime. I want you to go to bed right now.

[00:22:01]>> I hate you.

[00:22:02]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:22:03]>> A couple minutes later.

[00:22:05]>> Yo, son, the hospital called and your mom's been in an accident.

[00:22:08]>> Is she going to be okay?

[00:22:09]>> Yeah, they said she's okay, but I need to go to the hospital ASAP. Do you want to come?

[00:22:13]>> No, I'll stay here. Okay.

[00:22:17]>> Where are we landing, boys?

[00:22:21]>> Grandpa is taking forever. Hm. I wonder what's in here.

[00:22:26]>> Ooh, what's this? Candy.

[00:22:31]It tastes weird. It must be old candy.

[00:22:34]>> 20 minutes later.

[00:22:36]>> Hey, grandson. Hopefully I wasn't gone for too long. What are you doing, grandson?

[00:22:42]Grandpa, where the heck did you get that nasty blue candy from? Stay st >> candy. I don't have any.

[00:22:55]>> Hey, big bro. Grandma gave me some money. Do you think this is enough for a chocolate bar?

[00:22:59]>> No way. What a coincidence. I have a chocolate bar. Do you want to trade it?

[00:23:03]>> Um, I don't know.

[00:23:04]>> What about three chocolate bars? What do you think?

[00:23:07]>> Three? Now we're talking a little bit more. Three chocolate bars and I'll send you $10 on Cash App.

[00:23:13]>> Deal.

[00:23:14]>> Okay. Boom. I just sent it.

[00:23:16]>> I don't accept refunds. Okay.

[00:23:18]>> Okay. Whatever, dummy.

[00:23:21]>> A couple minutes later.

[00:23:23]>> Yeah. So, you can pick the most expensive dinner. I'll pay.

[00:23:26]>> Really? Hey, son. Did you take out the trash yet?

[00:23:29]>> Yeah. I can't believe your brother found a fake $100 bill at school.

[00:23:33]>> What?

[00:23:35]>> Ew, you're broke. Bye.

[00:23:38]>> Oh, great heaven.

[00:23:48]Whoa, I got lunch money for days.

[00:23:51]>> The next day.

[00:23:53]>> Hey, son. Give me your report card.

[00:23:56]>> I didn't get it yet. That's next week.

[00:23:58]>> Your teacher emailed me.

[00:24:00]>> Here.

[00:24:04]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:24:11]Excuse me.

[00:24:12]>> Hi.

[00:24:13]>> Would you rather take this $5 bill or double it and give it to the next person?

[00:24:18]>> I'll take it.

[00:24:19]>> No, you can't do that.

[00:24:20]>> You literally just asked me if I want.

[00:24:22]I'm supposed to give away free money.

[00:24:24]>> Yes, someone might need it more.

[00:24:26]>> But what if you give the money to someone who isn't a good person or is rich?

[00:24:30]>> It doesn't matter. That's how the game works.

[00:24:32]>> I don't want to play. I want the money.

[00:24:34]>> Let's try this one more time. Would you rather take this $5 bill or double it and give it to the next person?

[00:24:39]>> If I double it, can I be the next person?

[00:24:42]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:24:44]>> Hey, how long until I can get a haircut?

[00:24:46]Um, about like 2 hours from now. Okay, cool. The next day. Hey, man. How long until I can get a haircut? Hey, it's you again. Um, maybe like an hour and a half. Sounds good. Thanks. The next day.

[00:24:58]Hey, I'm back. How long until I can get a haircut? Hey, I'd say 30 minutes.

[00:25:03]Okay, perfect. Hey, Steve. Have you ever seen that guy get a haircut? Not that I'm aware of. Do you mind taking a break and follow him to see where he goes every time he says that? Okay. Yeah, good idea. 15 minutes later. Hey, I'm back. Hey, did you see where he kept going? Your house.

[00:25:23]>> Hey, wake up.

[00:25:25]>> Ouch. What was that for?

[00:25:29]>> I told you to stay awake.

[00:25:32]>> Ouch. But mom, I close my eyes when I pray.

[00:25:39]>> Hey. Hi, Mrs. Always Wet. My daughter went to work. Let's have some fun.

[00:25:43]Absolutely not. I never cheat on my girlfriend.

[00:25:46]>> Wow, she's crazy. Hi. Oh, hey, babe. I thought you were at work. That was a loyalty test, and I knew you would fail.

[00:25:52]You piece of >> No, that's not true. I was loyal to you then. Liar. You were in there for 12 seconds, and we both know what that means.

[00:26:00]>> OH, GREAT.

[00:26:06]CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON. HAND, SPOON, BROOM, CHUNKA, coat hanger, bell.

[00:26:17]>> Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[00:26:19]>> Finish her.

[00:26:20]>> Don't ever talk to me like that again.

[00:26:23]>> Flawless victory.

[00:26:25]>> Hey, son. You want to go play some catch? No, I'm not in the mood. Oh, okay. You all right? You seem kind of down. Last night, my girlfriend let another guy take her out. Dang, really?

[00:26:36]Yeah. I really want to fix this. What are you going to do about it tonight?

[00:26:40]I'm going to take her out. That's a good idea. Where?

[00:26:44]>> At her house. Her house?

[00:26:51]>> Baby, I think I'm pregnant.

[00:26:52]>> I'm going to have a little brother or sister.

[00:26:54]>> Honey, are you for real?

[00:26:55]>> Yeah. Later that night.

[00:26:57]>> What up, homie? Did you want to talk about something?

[00:26:59]>> My wife's pregnant. What? Wow. Congrats.

[00:27:02]>> I just don't understand. I can't remember us not using protection even once.

[00:27:05]>> Really?

[00:27:06]>> Yeah.

[00:27:06]>> Well, here's another explanation. Once a man went to a forest and all he had was an umbrella. Then suddenly, a tiger approached him and he opened up the umbrella at the tiger. To his surprise, he heard a gunshot and found the tiger dead. But that's impossible. Someone else must have shot the tiger. Exactly.

[00:27:24]>> Oh, great heaven.

[00:27:29]>> OH CRAP. HEY, what did you do?

[00:27:31]>> It wasn't me, Mom. I swear.

[00:27:33]>> Who was it then? Casper.

[00:27:34]>> Yeah.

[00:27:35]>> No, son. You should never lie. Line is very bad.

[00:27:39]>> Okay. Sorry.

[00:27:40]>> The next day.

[00:27:45]>> Oh, it's mom's phone. Hey, it's Dad.

[00:27:48]Hello.

[00:27:49]>> Hey, son. Can I talk to your mom real quick?

[00:27:51]>> Yeah.

[00:27:55]>> Hey, Mommy. Daddy wants to talk to you.

[00:27:58]Tell him I'm napping.

[00:28:00]>> Okay, Dad. Mom is nap. I mean, no. She's wrestling with Uncle Fred in your room.

[00:28:05]>> What?

[00:28:06]>> Why'd you tell him that?

[00:28:07]>> Because lying is very bad, Mommy.

[00:28:09]>> Oh, great heaven.

[00:28:13]>> Um, what do you want?

[00:28:15]>> Mom told me to tell you to wash the dishes.

[00:28:17]>> What? I washed them yesterday. Mom, do I really have to wash the dishes?

[00:28:21]>> No, I told your little brother to do it.

[00:28:23]Are you serious? Why'd you lie?

[00:28:25]>> I just wanted to see if I can get you to do it. Oh, I swear the things you do annoy me.

[00:28:29]>> Like what?

[00:28:30]>> You always leave my door open.

[00:28:33]You always take my stuff or eat my food.

[00:28:36]And you always snitch and blame me for everything.

[00:28:39]>> I didn't snitch about you sneaking out last night.

[00:28:42]>> You did what now?

[00:28:44]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:28:47]>> Hey, put your hands up where I can see them.

[00:28:53]>> Yeah, it's in the kitchen.

[00:28:54]>> I'll be right back. Honey, I think he likes you. So when he comes back, do whatever it takes to save us. Okay.

[00:29:01]Actually, he said he loves men and asked if we had any cucumbers.

[00:29:05]>> What? Whatever he wants, just do it to save us. Okay.

[00:29:09]>> Oh, great.

[00:29:13]>> Take that. Take that.

[00:29:15]>> Hot. You missed. Take that.

[00:29:17]>> Bro, you can't touch me either.

[00:29:20]>> Bro, what are you doing with your laptop on the beach?

[00:29:23]>> Yeah, you're so stupid.

[00:29:26]Wait, what's that?

[00:29:39]>> Oh, I need to use the bathroom, but the men's is full. Hey, the woman's bathroom is empty. I can let you in. They're under one condition.

[00:29:45]>> Yes, please. Anything. Do not press any of the buttons in there.

[00:29:48]>> Okay, don't press any buttons. Got it.

[00:29:50]Thank you.

[00:29:54]H. Let's see what this button does.

[00:29:56]Beep. Whoa. Let's see what this one does. Beep. Oh, okay. What about the last one? Beep. Ah. Ah. Where am I? And what happened? You're in the hospital and you were in the girl's bathroom and pressed the auto tampon remover button.

[00:30:12]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:30:16]>> Hey, man. You want soap to wash you?

[00:30:18]Yes. Actually, I've been tired of washing myself with just water. I got you. Hey, soap, get in here. He said he wants you to wash hands. Thanks, man.

[00:30:26]Wait.

[00:30:32]>> Happy birthday, Mom. Thanks, sweetie.

[00:30:34]How old are you now? Like 40.

[00:30:37]>> What? You think I look that old? Well, how old is dad? Your dad's the old one.

[00:30:41]He's 45 and I'm 32. Wait a second. If dad's 45 and you're 32 and I'm 17, that means that abortion. It's so unsafe because it's not my boyfriend's child. Then lie that it's his. What? I can do that?

[00:31:02]>> Yeah. You know what? Call him.

[00:31:04]>> Okay.

[00:31:06]>> Hi, baby.

[00:31:07]>> Hey, babe. I'm pregnant.

[00:31:09]>> No, wait. Really? We should get married.

[00:31:11]>> Really? Okay.

[00:31:12]>> You can come to my house tonight and I'll introduce you to my family.

[00:31:15]>> He wants to get married.

[00:31:16]Congratulations.

[00:31:18]>> Later that night. Mom, meet my girlfriend.

[00:31:27]>> Hey, Mommy. Look at my drawing. Do you like it?

[00:31:30]>> Oh my gosh, sweetie. That is so cute. Me and dad are very, very proud of you.

[00:31:37]Right, honey? What? Oh. Uh, >> no. Actually, it's not. It's really bad.

[00:31:45]>> What?

[00:31:48]>> Ouch. I was just being honest.

[00:31:50]>> Apologize to him now.

[00:31:51]>> It's okay. Mommy, ask me who I drew.

[00:31:54]>> Is that supposed to be me?

[00:31:56]>> No, this is Tiffany from Dad's Phone.

[00:32:01]>> Sorry, I was just being honest.

[00:32:10]>> Yo, Dad.

[00:32:11]>> What's up?

[00:32:12]>> Can you dance really quick and then act like you're eating something really good?

[00:32:16]>> Why are you recording? I'm just doing a funny trend.

[00:32:18]>> Fine. Okay. You said dance. Yeah. And then pretend like I'm eating something.

[00:32:24]Yum. Yum. Yum.

[00:32:29]Why you laughing?

[00:32:30]>> Look.

[00:32:39]>> Boy, you better delete that.

[00:32:40]>> Fine. I just sent it to grandma by accident.

[00:32:44]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:32:46]>> Hey, babe. Do you want to watch a movie while the kids are quiet?

[00:32:48]>> Yeah, let's do it. 20 minutes later.

[00:32:52]>> Thanks for watching the movie with me.

[00:32:53]>> Of course. And how'd you get the kids to stay so quiet?

[00:32:56]>> Oh, I put the anime that was on on your laptop on for them. But I don't have any anime on my laptop.

[00:33:07]>> Hey class, I know summer is coming up.

[00:33:09]>> Yeah, summer. Quiet down, Jacob. So, back to what I was saying is y'all about to graduate fourth grade. So, that being said, they want a student to give a speech at graduation.

[00:33:18]>> Please don't take me, >> Mark. I think you would be perfect for it.

[00:33:22]>> Sure, why not?

[00:33:23]>> It can be about who inspires you or who you want to be. Anything really.

[00:33:28]>> Okay.

[00:33:30]>> Hi everyone.

[00:33:31]>> That's my boy.

[00:33:32]>> That's my baby.

[00:33:33]>> The person who inspires me and who I want to be like is my mom.

[00:33:37]>> A >> because I just found out she has more jobs than my dad, which is awesome.

[00:33:42]>> What? I don't have a job. You don't have to keep it a secret anymore, Mom. I saw three uniforms in your closet. A maid outfit, a nurse outfit, and a cop outfit with handcuffs.

[00:33:53]>> You can stop now, sweetie.

[00:33:54]>> I'm almost done, Mom. And that just shows how amazing and talented she is. I want to be like her. So, if you need a maid or help catch bad guys, you know who to reach. My mom.

[00:34:07]>> Hey, what's wrong?

[00:34:09]>> I got a bad grade on my test.

[00:34:11]>> What did you get? It's really bad.

[00:34:13]>> What is it?

[00:34:14]>> I got a 94.

[00:34:16]>> Well, I got a 69.

[00:34:18]>> Oh, that's so good.

[00:34:19]>> Huh?

[00:34:20]>> For you.

[00:34:21]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:34:25]>> Mommy, I'm hungry.

[00:34:27]There's nothing in the fridge.

[00:34:28]>> What are you talking about? The fridge is full with food.

[00:34:31]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:34:32]>> Hey, Mommy. Guess what?

[00:34:34]>> What?

[00:34:34]>> I got an A+ on my math test.

[00:34:38]>> You're grounded. I'm so disappointed in you. Oh, great heavens.

[00:34:49]>> Hey, son. I got something for you.

[00:34:51]>> Really? What is it?

[00:34:53]>> This bet.

[00:34:54]>> Oh, great heavens.

[00:34:57]>> Hey, baby. How many boys have you did the you know what with before me?

[00:35:04]>> It's fine. You can tell me.

[00:35:08]>> It's okay. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

[00:35:13]>> I'm sorry if I made you upset. Can you please shut up? I'm still counting.

[00:35:28]What's up, Mom? Did you use my credit card? No. Why? So, why is there a $200 charge showing? I don't know, but it wasn't me. You didn't order V-Bucks? No.

[00:35:37]Wait, you said V-Bucks? Yeah. I think that was your perfect little angel that did it. Oh, really? Okay. Turn your game volume up all the way so you won't hear anything.

[00:35:46]>> Okay.

[00:35:48]>> Hey.

[00:35:48]>> Hi, Mommy.

[00:35:49]>> Say hi to this bell.

[00:35:55]I can't believe we actually made it here.

[00:35:57]>> Me too, bro.

[00:36:00]>> Bro, why are you trying not to laugh?

[00:36:02]>> Promise me you won't laugh if I tell you.

[00:36:04]>> Okay, I promise I won't.

[00:36:05]>> Look at Jesus shoes.

[00:36:12]>> What the Where am I?

[00:36:18]>> Son, get ready. Time for school.

[00:36:20]>> I don't want to go. Can I stay home today? I'm sorry, but you have to go.

[00:36:23]>> Can I just quit school then? I don't like it.

[00:36:26]>> What's going on? He wants to quit school. Son, if you quit school, I'll go to jail. And I know you wouldn't want that.

[00:36:31]>> For how long?

[00:36:32]>> For a long time.

[00:36:34]>> Oh, dang. That sucks.

[00:36:36]>> I know. So, come on. Get ready.

[00:36:37]>> Well, it's okay. I'll just visit you.

[00:36:45]>> Dad, I need help.

[00:36:46]>> What's up?

[00:36:47]>> I forgot to take the meat out.

[00:36:52]N you're on your own. What? Hey, sweetie.

[00:36:55]>> Mommy, I forgot to take the meat out.

[00:36:57]>> Grab me the belt.

[00:36:58]>> Did you say pillow?

[00:36:59]>> No, the belt >> here.

[00:37:01]>> Now, turn around.

[00:37:06]>> Son, the school called me and told me you had detention today. Why?

[00:37:10]>> Just because I was giving my teacher Mr. Forever single advice >> about what?

[00:37:14]>> I asked if he had a girlfriend and he said no. So, I told him there's three easy steps on how to get a girlfriend.

[00:37:19]What did you say?

[00:37:20]>> Step one, grab a pillow.

[00:37:22]>> Okay.

[00:37:23]>> Step two, grab a big blanket. Step three, >> don't tell me you're going to say lotion or something.

[00:37:28]>> No, keep dreaming.

[00:37:30]>> No. Great heavens.