Narcissist: Why Would I Change? (Positive Adaptation vs. Maladaptation) (November 2024)

[00:00:00]religion and so on. One of the myths is that narcissists are not self-aware.

[00:00:05]It's partly true. Narcissists are fully aware of their actions.

[00:00:10]They are also partly aware of the impacts that their actions have on other people.

[00:00:17]Partly aware.

[00:00:18]They are usually not aware of their motivations and psychological processes.

[00:00:24]And what narcissists do, they reframe their behaviors. They create a narrative within which their behaviors are commendable or even altruistic.

[00:00:34]So, they assume the moral high ground.

[00:00:38]Um it's very interesting that an antisocial narcissist, when asked to explain and justify his or her behaviors, would become a prosocial narcissist.

[00:00:50]Temporarily.

[00:00:51]He would say, "I abused her because she needs to wake up to reality. This is tough love.

[00:00:58]You know, that's why I abuse her.

[00:01:01]That's why I criticize her. That's why I denigrate her because that's the only way to wake her up. And she must face reality. Otherwise, she would be taken advantage of. I'm protecting her.

[00:01:10]You know?

[00:01:11]So, this is a real-life example of of reaction.

[00:01:15]Um this transition from amorality, cuz narcissists are not immoral.

[00:01:21]Immorality is the reserve of psychopaths.

[00:01:24]Narcissists are amoral.

[00:01:26]They're just there. They just operate the way viruses do or tigers do or hurricanes do.

[00:01:32]You know, they're a force of nature, if you wish.

[00:01:34]But the transition from amorality to ostentatious, in-your-face morality, and the casting of the situation in terms of a morality play, good versus evil, with good self-imputed. "I'm good," says the narcissist. "I'm good. The world is evil.

[00:01:54]So, I have to act in an evil way in order to protect, for example, my loved ones or to survive.

[00:02:01]There is this attempt, constant attempt at self-justification.

[00:02:05]As and it is a key feature. The second thing, because with me there's never one thing, it's always two, three, seven.

[00:02:13]So, the second thing has to do with the fact that narcissists are cathected. Cathexis is a term borrowed from psychoanalytic literature.

[00:02:23]Um and it means emotional or psychic investment in something.

[00:02:29]Could be another person, could be an object, could be an idea, could be a belief, could be a political party, a nation.

[00:02:36]Whenever you get emotionally attached to something or derive your sense of value and self-esteem from something, you are cathecting.

[00:02:45]And the action is called cathexis, okay?

[00:02:48]So, narcissists are narcissists cathect their disorder. They're emotionally invested in their disorder.

[00:02:57]They use something called reframing, which I mentioned before.

[00:03:01]They generate on the fly narratives that are obviously self-aggrandizing and cast their disorder as an advantage.

[00:03:13]So, it's very typical of a narcissist to say, "Well, narcissism is the next stage in evolution.

[00:03:19]Narcissists are much better equipped to deal with the world. They're natural They're natural-born leaders."

[00:03:25]And you have even academics, I won't name names, who are glamorizing narcissism and psychopathy.

[00:03:32]They say, "Yeah, it's true.

[00:03:34]Narcissists and psychopaths are uniquely positioned. Evolution has endowed them with a capacity to lead, to make difficult decisions, and so on and so forth. So, narcissists and psychopaths would be good military commanders, they would be good surgeons, and so on."

[00:03:52]The unfortunate thing is that this is true.

[00:03:55]There is an overrepresentation of narcissists and psychopaths among specific professions where empathy is a disadvantage.

[00:04:04]For example, psychopaths are overrepresented among surgeons, medical doctors who are surgeons.

[00:04:11]Psychopaths are also overrepresented among chief executive officers of Forbes 500 companies.

[00:04:17]This is the studies by Hare and Babiak.

[00:04:21]So, it seems to be true.

[00:04:23]Uh psychopathy and narcissism can be construed as positive adaptations to an environment that had become narcissistic and psychopathic.

[00:04:37]In short, if you live in a psychopathic world, you would like your president to be a psychopath.

[00:04:43]To put it this way.

[00:04:45]>> Well, timely for Trump.

[00:04:47]>> Yeah, you said it. You said it, yeah.

[00:04:50]>> And the dollar >> But if you talk to Trump supporters, they tell you, "We like it that he is a psychopathic narcissist. We We acknowledge it, but we think that's the right qualification for the job because the world is full of terrorists and and crazy leaders and and mayhem and strife and tumult.

[00:05:08]And to cope in such a world, which is falling apart, which is off kilter, in such a world, you don't need a nice guy.

[00:05:17]You don't need someone altruistic and benevolent. You need a You need a psychopath. You need a You know, a strong leader who couldn't care less about people and and would threaten the other party and would have a would get his way, you know? So, they they glamorize and they narcissism and psychopathy, and they think it's what we call a positive adaptation, not a maladaptation.

[00:05:42]Imagine the following.

[00:05:44]Donald Trump comes to me, and I work with him and I say, "Mr. Trump, I've bad news for you.

[00:05:51]You are a malignant narcissist.

[00:05:54]And I think you would benefit from treatment to some extent. Like, some of your behaviors can be modified."

[00:06:01]Donald Trump would would say to me, "Why would I do that?

[00:06:04]I've been elected twice to the presidency. I had the most beautiful women on Earth. I I am super rich. I'm super famous. I mean, give me one reason to get rid of my I am all that because I'm a malignant narcissist."

[00:06:18]This is the secret sauce.

[00:06:21]>> The superpower.

[00:06:22]>> This is my superpower. Yeah.

[00:06:24]I am that because I'm a malignant not despite the fact that I'm a malignant narcissist, but because I am.

[00:06:30]So, malignant narcissism is becoming fast becoming a trait or a constellation of traits to aspire to.

[00:06:39]In July 2016, if my memory doesn't fail me, New Scientist came with a cover story.

[00:06:47]Uh parents teach your children to be narcissists.