She Reflects on Divorce and the Unexpected Consequences of Life Choices

本站添加: 2026-05-23

[00:00:00]You're in your mid-30s, you know. You know >> [laughter] >> that said divorce directly played into your ability to have children.

[00:00:15]Where are you guys? Welcome back, family. Today we got an update on that 36-year old divorced woman who regrets not having kids. Fellas, situations like this just seem to get more complicated over time. If you need a quick refresher, here's the woman I'm talking about.

[00:00:33]>> And my life as a mother is just >> [snorts] >> it's gone. And and I'm angry.

[00:00:44]And [laughter] I'm heartbroken.

[00:00:48]You can check out the full clip in episode 8 of my modern women hitting the wall humble series. Basically, this woman divorced her husband and found herself at 36 with no kids, now regretting those life decisions.

[00:01:02]Now, about a year later, let's see how she's doing.

[00:01:05]>> I would really appreciate >> [snorts] >> uh tapping into the mid-30s divorced women TikTokers.

[00:01:17]I don't know where you are, but I need you.

[00:01:21]I'm looking for the women who are several months, if not several years, out of their divorce.

[00:01:32]Mine was in the fall of 2020.

[00:01:36]And I just want to talk to you guys and hear from you guys about just like how the [ __ ] you do it.

[00:01:46]>> [snorts] >> How do you carry on?

[00:01:50]Um how do you not let this destroy you? Um because if you're in your mid 30s, you know, you know that said divorce directly played into your ability to have children.

[00:02:11]Where are you guys?

[00:02:17]And do you need me as badly as I need you? Or have you somehow miraculously figured it all out and either way I want to hear from you. One year later and she's still online looking for sympathy on Tik Tok. It really goes to show how people can get stuck in that cycle.

[00:02:35]Feeding off each other instead of moving forward. Anyway, let's keep watching and see what she has to say next.

[00:02:42]>> part of my divorce And I don't know if this is the case for other people, but for me, the hardest part is feeling like I am perpetually in an alternate timeline. And it feels like that because I never pictured a future or a reality where I wasn't going to be with my ex-husband and the community and family that we had.

[00:03:08]And I just find myself like over and over experiencing these moments of like just it's not supposed to be this way.

[00:03:21]But like I feel like I'm in the wrong timeline.

[00:03:25]I had a moment this morning where I was emptying the dishwasher and just putting you know, putting dishes away and I just broke down thinking like >> [snorts] >> this isn't supposed to be my silverware.

[00:03:40]>> [snorts] >> This is not supposed to be my plates.

[00:03:44]This isn't supposed to be my kitchen.

[00:03:47]All of this is wrong.

[00:03:49]How did I end up here?

[00:03:52]And I'm trying so hard to find the good parts of this new reality or dimension that I'm in, and I I am finding them in pieces, but the loss and the pain and the confusion of what I thought Don't be fooled by how soft-spoken and gentle she comes across.

[00:04:15]There's clearly more going on beneath the surface, and I'm going to break it down for you in this next clip. Pay close attention to the expectations she places on her parents, how she thinks they should treat each other, and how they should treat her. It's my parents' 43rd wedding anniversary, and normally when people have an anniversary or they're thinking about someone that they've spent so many years with and love, they have lots of things to say, lots of photos to share, lots of gross I love yous. And this is what my father Can you feel the love?

[00:04:49]And I was joking I was joking about how feelingless that was.

[00:04:59]Um until I checked my mother's Facebook and realized that she blocked me, and I should not be shocked by this because the last time she spoke to me was on Christmas Eve, which was after an argument when I finally opened up to her that the reason I'm so hurt by her actions at that time and throughout the years is because I have never felt unconditional love from her or my father, and that I didn't really want to keep going anymore.

[00:05:35]And her response was to hand me the phone 24 hours after this conversation happened, to hand me the phone and tell me to call a hotline or a therapist and then left the room.

[00:05:53]I told her to come back in the room to have an adult conversation with me and to share with her that what she had just done was the most dangerous thing you could do to someone who is struggling with their mental health.

[00:06:11]So for their 43rd anniversary, I'm going to celebrate by not celebrating and coming clean about the second most difficult part of my divorce, which has been abandonment from my parents. Her parents have been married over 40 years. Yet at 37, she still thinks she can tell her father what to say on their anniversary. That's the entitlement. I do respect her mother for being direct, though.

[00:06:40]Now watch how she reacts to her mother's advice on relationships. You'll quickly see her mindset and why things fell apart. My mother worked full-time. She went to grad school.

[00:06:51]My father refused to finish college. He did not get a full-time job, so he never had a 401K. He never brought in health insurance. My mother was the one who did all of that and she wasn't able to do it on one income, so her family contributed financially instead of my father.

[00:07:15]Now my mother went back to work while my father took care of me while I was an infant and when my mother fell ill a few years later, my father ended up taking on the caretaker role. So, you know, it's not like he was 100% incompetent or incapable, but there were issues and I internalized those and I heard conversations about them and I developed beliefs around this.

[00:07:45]One of the most fundamental things that I learned was that you need to ensure that the man is comfortable emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally at all costs, including your own well-being. I also learned that you're supposed to go to therapy to find ways of suppressing your basic needs so that the man's needs can be met, and you can live copacetically.

[00:08:17]My mother also taught me that I would never get to keep a man if I didn't put out.

[00:08:23]Um she would give me tips on how to boost my father's ego um when it was clear that he needed it. And so, I just really developed these fundamental beliefs that my survival was dependent on making sure that the man was always okay.

[00:08:42]And I have a slew of failed relationships because of it. You had a string of failed relationships because you ignore solid advice and just do whatever you feel like. Fellas, be careful with people who seem soft on the surface, but bring problems over time.

[00:08:58]That's it for today's video.

[00:09:00]Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Thanks for watching, and don't forget to like, share, and subscribe.