60% Of Young Men Have Given Up On Dating...

Added: 2026-06-06

[00:00:00]Why 60% of Ginzy men aren't dating. If if I saw this title a few years ago, I would be like, "Yeah, nah, that just is bullshit." But you know what? I'm actually seeing it online and in real life. But when it comes to my friends, maybe like two of my friends don't have girlfriends and that's it. And one of them is married. All of the others already have girlfriends. So, uh, yeah, that's interesting. And of course, I'm the single friend as well.

[00:00:24]>> So, there's a massive epidemic going on with young men, Jenzi specifically. 60% of them under 30 are not even dating. By the way, 62% of them are not even wanting to date. Gen I'm not in a long-term relationship, but I'm dating somebody for it's been like a month.

[00:00:40]>> This is a high of 2019 when it was 51%.

[00:00:44]So, even though they're getting older, the older they get, they're like, I'm not even interested in dating. Why not?

[00:00:48]You know what the average cost of a date is for Gen Z today? When they go out, $25. Who's expected to pay for it? Of course, men. Millennial.

[00:00:55]>> You know, you can just go on a walking date to the park. That's what I usually do, by the way. And it works.

[00:01:00]>> Average cost for dinner is 252.

[00:01:03]>> Jenz is 45. The national average is 189.

[00:01:06]>> We need more Gen Z dating cuz we need more babies, especially with our birth rate dropping. I'm going to share with you, if you're watching this as a young man, same path. What can I do >> to succeed in a market? Cuz I'm looking for girls. I'm going to give you certain tips that helped me when I was 23.

[00:01:21]Hopefully, it'll help you. I'm gonna I'm expecting to hear a lot of stuff with money and a lot of stuff with looks. And I'm hoping to see a lot of personality stuff, okay? Because everybody talks about the money and looks part, which is okay. I get it. Nobody ever talks about the personality part as well. I'm not that good-looking and I'm not rich and I've gotten action, okay? And I'm annoying as well.

[00:01:45]>> I just want to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel. specifically 51% of you that consume the content on a weekly basis, but you still haven't subscribed. We're on our way to get to 10 million subscribers to my channel. It would mean a lot to us if you take a moment and smash that subscribe button.

[00:02:02]>> Subscribe to my channel.

[00:02:03]>> Let's get right into it. Okay, crisis by the numbers. We already know 60% of young men are not dating. 62% are not even trying to date. Up from 51% compared to just 34% for women. So women are like, "No, no, I want to date.

[00:02:16]>> I want to go out there and meet people."

[00:02:17]Young men are like, "No, no, no. I'm leaving the marketplace. I don't want to do this."

[00:02:20]>> Apps like Tinder are heavily skewed towards male users. 76% of Tinder users are men. So, guess what? It's like going to a nightclub and it's not ladies night. You're going to a nightclub and everybody there is >> also like a man will get five m five likes. a woman will will get 1,000 likes and she's overwhelmed and you'll think that she just rejected you just to like even though you matched her for some reason. She has so many people to go from. She she forgets you. And of course, it might be because you're ugly or I average like me. I'm like four out of 10, right? And a lot of them swipe left >> men at a night.

[00:02:56]>> In real life, I've got more go to a place where women are. We're going to talk about that here in a minute.

[00:03:00]>> Studies suggest roughly 80% of men are rated as below average in attractiveness, leading many to feel inadequate or ignored. You know what's the interesting thing? Today I came back from speaking at the school and there's all these kids in this classroom and I go up on the board and I write these numbers down. I write 14 and I write three. I said, "Can I ask you guys a question? Can anybody tell me what this does 143 means?" One girl's like, "That's a date according to a European calendar." And they're going through all this other stuff. I said, "Let me tell you what this means."

[00:03:32]>> I thought it was 14 divided by three.

[00:03:34]>> I walked into this classroom. There was 14 girls to three boys. And I sat there and I'm like, "Wait a minute. These are great ratios guys, my son. So I'm like, "Hey son, you listen, you got a lot of good options here, right? These these are the types of ratios. You want something you want."

[00:03:49]>> Imagine he said that.

[00:03:50]>> How do I put myself in a position >> to have more options? So when they say 80% of us attractiveness, all this other stuff, look at some of the most beautiful women in the world. Are they all married to attractive men? Not necessarily. So what >> usually uglies go with uglies. Normies go with normies and hotties go with hotties. And there's a few exceptions, >> but that's how it usually goes.

[00:04:11]>> Okay, >> these men have that these girls dated and chose to go with them. There's a reason for that. We're going to talk about that. So, now biggest dating fears.

[00:04:19]>> Pervasive fear of being perceived as creepy or toxic. Oh my god, you're too much. This is too much. This is too pushy.

[00:04:25]>> It It has happened to me.

[00:04:27]>> Anxiety. A growing fear of being viewed as disrespectful, intrusive, or contributing to toxic masculinity >> has caused many young men to stop approaching women in real life. Which, by the way, young men, if you're listening to this, you're creating this imagination. This doesn't exist. This has been around for a long time.

[00:04:43]>> That's trust me. The the the percentage of women that would like see you as a toxic, masculine, uh, insane guy is so tiny and small. And you've seen tons of Tik Toks online of this very small percentage of insane toxic women. Most of them aren't like that. Trust me, I don't know how to how many how many women I've approached throughout my freaking life. I just did it yesterday to a gym girl.

[00:05:07]I just did it and uh and it went badly, of course, but you know, I do it I do it almost every day when I'm out in when I'm not and I'm not in a long-term relationship. So, I I'm very used to getting rejected. But my success in real life is much different than dating apps.

[00:05:24]It just is what it is, you know. And it's very rarely that uh she's going to be disrespectful and insane. And even if it happens, just just leave.

[00:05:34]>> The hardest thing is today. There was a video the other day with Charize Thoron, the actress that's been a lot of different movies. Devil's Advocate, a lot of different movies. This is supposed to be one of the most beautiful women in the world. I think she was also in a movie with Golfin, Legends of Bag Vance with Matt Damon, if I'm not mistaken. Can you verify this? The girl's asking her, "So, how many men approach you?" She says, "You'd be amazed." Nobody.

[00:05:55]>> It's like, wait, what? You're different.

[00:05:57]And there's women complaining about this online that they want women men to approach them. Take notes.

[00:06:02]>> Beautiful. No one's No one's approaching me. Why not? I don't know. They're scared. Guys are scared. So, you really think if 34% of women are out there that are off the market, but 61%. Maybe men are just giving up and they're getting a little bit scared because the reality of it is women want the right ones want you to approach them. And a lot of guys are getting out of the market. This is kind of like when 2008 happened. You know what happened to realtors overnight? We had some 600,000 realtors in America in 2006 2007. Overnight 40% didn't renew their licenses. 240,000 left the real estate industry because it was so difficult. So it's like, "Oh my god, it's so hard to be in real estate." Yes, but if you're good, the market's going to come back to you and have an option because you have more homeowners that are looking for fewer realtors. So you could look at that as an edge. Now, let's look at this because some of this is valid. Some young men are really going through this. Matter of fact, what's so funny about this topic is this was the conversation we were having this last Saturday night when we're out with the family. It was about dating with my 14-year-old, 12-year-old, and my family was sitting there. We're going through it. Barriers to dating. Survey shows that the biggest barrier to Jenzie dating is not having money. 52% of survey agree, watch this, >> not enough time because of career, education, priorities. So, I'm so busy.

[00:07:14]I'm just trying to get >> I mean listen most people young people especially nowadays they've got college degrees or are pursuing one and uh you know they have a lot of debt to pay off and also they can get a job and eventually they realize they actually need a second job to be able to you know [ __ ] survive. Also there's ton of them who are very illiterate when it comes to finances. Not that I'm an expert but god freaking damn it. The first step is just not overspend on dumb stuff and then you end up with one of these problem. I'm not saying it's the biggest, it's the only problem. It's one of the big problems.

[00:07:45]>> You're going I'm going to school. I don't have the time to date.

[00:07:47]>> I never spend money on agreement. Agree.

[00:07:50]>> Huge money on dates.

[00:07:51]>> Don't want to commit long-term. So, they're afraid of long-term commitment.

[00:07:54]Okay.

[00:07:55]>> I want to I I'm 24. Okay. I've never fallen in freaking love. The longest relationship that I've been in is a year and a half. I I really wanted to like I I'm very lucky with the types of girls that that I've ended up dating for a longer time. They were all great women like like like white material. I just couldn't fall in love.

[00:08:17]Am I a sociopath? Uh mentally ill some guys or something. I don't know what's happening.

[00:08:23]>> Dating experiences had it.

[00:08:25]>> Every single one of us either you were the bad experience or the girl was the bad experience but we've all been part of >> No, I'm open to more bad experiences. I don't give a confidence. I'm worried. I don't have the confidence. We can work on this. Not enough money for dating activities. We can also work on that which we'll talk about here in a minute.

[00:08:42]So when we go lower and we're looking at the dating cost, it leads us to this.

[00:08:45]Okay, dating marriage skills gap. Desire and attitude are not the problem. They want to build connections that explore long-term partner. This is young men.

[00:08:54]Young adults need dating skills.

[00:08:56]>> Lack of experience, social and emotional confidence, stretch, develop social skills, struggle to express interest in dating partner, struggle to communicate on a date. Less than 40 and 37% said they trusted their judgment. When it comes to choosing a dating partner, there's a book I read.

[00:09:13]>> Listen, videos like these are great and I applaud Patrick for this, but Patrick is like a businessman, right? And a lot of other people do this uh make these videos. They overanalyze and make stuff and it's great. This is great stuff for you to learn, right? But the simplest answer I can give you is stop overthinking and just just start like uh counting to five and just move. Of course, you should be working on your finances or just, you know, getting a good job or good enough job and being smart with your finances and not overspending and going on into insane debt and working on your like gym and health and fitness and, you know, eating healthy at least mostly, right? That's all the basics. You can't do anything more with your looks. You can only do more if you have the money for like a hair transplant or whatever one you else you want to do, right? everything else.

[00:10:07]You're going to give yourself more chances if you just just stop thinking and just start approaching and start doing dumb mistakes because that way you'll get used to it. You'll learn, you'll build up some social skills.

[00:10:20]You got to do all three. That's in my opinion. The more you get into this, the more you over complicate and consume content, you'll just continue doing the same thing and not start doing stuff actually physically. You know what I My assistant many many years ago told me about it. I said, "Listen, I just made a decision. I'm never getting married. I enjoy my own company." She says, "Yeah, yeah, whatever." I said, "No, I'm telling you, I I'll go to movies by myself. I'll go to dinner by myself. I enjoy my own company."

[00:10:46]>> She says, "Before you decide to be single single the rest of your life this morning, I was listening to this Christian radio channel and this guy was talking about a book called 101 questions to ask before you get engaged."

[00:10:56]>> Oh.

[00:10:56]>> So, she says, "You should go buy it."

[00:10:58]So, I buy the book. It sits on my desk.

[00:10:59]>> Before buying books like this, research the the author, please. And I'm thinking I don't have time to go through a book.

[00:11:05]I open it up. It's literally a question and an answer. You write the answers.

[00:11:09]It's blank.

[00:11:11]>> So I went and started answering all the questions. Some of the questions were not. I think 54 of them were important to me.

[00:11:16]>> By the time it was done, I were like, >> all this time I thought I knew what I was looking for for a woman. I was looking for this. That's crazy. And then I wrote out exactly what I wanted her to look like physically. Literally, height, personality, temperament, because I wanted to see how she was going to be.

[00:11:31]my kids. My personality is here. I can't date a girl like this. When I did, we almost killed each other. It was like World War II.

[00:11:38]>> So, I had to kind of find a way for temperament, right? I'm thinking family, kids, long term.

[00:11:42]>> And when my wife and I went on our first date, you know what I told her? I said, "I'm not here to hook up with you." I said, "I'm looking for a wife."

[00:11:47]>> I took her to Borders. I bought the book for her 101 question.

[00:11:52]>> Imagine how many girls have heard that.

[00:11:54]Less than 1%.

[00:11:55]>> Get engaged. I said, "If this freaks you out from Jenz, >> I'm super comfortable with that." If you're just thinking I want to go out and have fun, that's not this guy.

[00:12:02]There's plenty of guys out there.

[00:12:03]>> Yeah.

[00:12:03]>> I managed the expectations right there.

[00:12:06]>> And I made sure she know I'm okay if I lose her.

[00:12:10]>> Too many times if you're kind of like, well, but what if I lose her? That's a turnoff. No, this is my standards.

[00:12:17]>> This is what I'm looking forward to.

[00:12:19]>> This is what I'm going to do with my life. If you value that, >> let's go. If not, I totally get it. If you if your approach isn't that way and the girl's looking at you saying, "Why is this guy so insecure about his position or his situation where he's at?

[00:12:30]This is where I'm at. This is what I want to >> How are you going to remove that insecurity?" If you just keep going, keep doing it. I'm not talking about sex. Yeah, that's one of them. Of course, I'm talking about approaching.

[00:12:41]Okay? The first three approach are going to be [ __ ] disgusting. The first one especially. Then the next five are going to be you'll get used to it. Okay? And then eventually after like the 10 11th 12th and so on, you'll be like, "Uh yeah, yeah, she was uh kind of crazy. Uh she was cute. She was insane. Uh oh, she actually uh said yes to the date." And so on. And you'll you'll just get used to it. Trust me, it's way more painful when you get rejected from jobs and everybody gets that stuff right now.

[00:13:14]Like rejection emails or getting fired if you're one of the uh middle-aged middle-aged like older or the in the middle somewhere of Gen Z ages like me, 24, right? You've been probably fired or get gotten rejected or something. You'll get used to it. It's fine. It's part of daily life. Okay? And remember that wasn't the case with me in 2002.

[00:13:39]>> Mhm.

[00:13:40]>> When I was 24 years old, 23 years old, I was I got to get this. But I had to shift my mindset because I had to increase my what? What was the confidence here? Somewhere says confidence. I had to increase this.

[00:13:51]>> So when it says 37% questioning their judgment. Why? Because you're secondguessing yourself. You don't believe in what you're doing. Now decision-m with the business is the same exact way.

[00:13:59]>> You don't need to believe in what you're doing. Just go and try. We're not talking about like nuclear science.

[00:14:06]We're talking about approaching a human being.

[00:14:08]>> Raising your kids is the same exact way.

[00:14:10]You know what? I don't know if I'm right 100%. But this is what we're going to be doing. At least I'm leading to people I'm working with. So stay with me here >> cuz I got some notes I wrote on the side that I'm going to go through with you as well.

[00:14:19]>> So I want you to think about a couple things here. Remember I told you to charice her own story.

[00:14:24]>> Remember I told you where she's like, "Boys are not approaching me." Okay. So guys don't talk to her. Is it on her that guys are not talking to her?

[00:14:34]>> So that means, sorry. So that means if you approach her, you'll be above one of the many more attractive guys out there who she liked and they were too much of a [ __ ] to approach her and uh somehow you had the confidence to approach her.

[00:14:51]I don't know if that discouraged you or encouraged you, but >> is she too, >> you know, masculine and girl guy's the one masculine girl. So maybe it's unattractive that you're too masculine.

[00:15:02]So some of the ladies watching this, I'm a girl boss. I'm a this. I'm a that. The other day I was watching that girl.

[00:15:08]Yeah.

[00:15:09]>> I learned a lot about women. I think I learned exactly how the fall of man occurred in the Garden of Eden.

[00:15:14]>> Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden.

[00:15:16]And Adam said one day, "Wow, Eve, here we are at one with nature, at one with God. We'll never age. We'll never die.

[00:15:21]>> And all our dreams come true the instant that we have them."

[00:15:24]>> And Eve said, "Yeah, it's just not enough, is it?"

[00:15:28]>> What?

[00:15:36]That's not funny.

[00:15:36]>> I like how everyone's laughing except her >> for more.

[00:15:41]>> Well, that was kind of his point.

[00:15:44]>> Yep. She basically proved his point.

[00:15:47]>> She says, "I don't get it. I didn't think that was a big deal." Joe says, "The guy just made his point."

[00:15:54]>> Yep.

[00:15:54]>> Cuz no one can make you happy.

[00:15:56]>> Yep. So, but those are not the girls to pursue cuz you're never going to make them happy.

[00:16:01]>> Yep. And you watching online stuff, you think everybody's like that. No, they're not. That trust me, most people are normal.

[00:16:06]>> Miserable if you're pursuing those girls. So, if you're watching this, you're like, "Hey, I'm that girl." Well, good luck to you. I don't know what kind of a guy you're going to find, but you're going to make us happy cuz we want to date a masculine girl. So, maybe she's the problem. Maybe. And that kind of a girl will usually attract and end up with a guy who just who whose only personality trait whose only quality is the money and nothing else. And I'm saying that's bad. That's great. But if that's everything about him, he's going to end up with a girl that only cares about money and he's he's going to end up with and he's only going to get a girl that cares about money and she's only going to get a guy who just uh sees her as this object to [ __ ] and that's it.

[00:16:46]Maybe it's on the guys that are scared saying, "Mel, she's too pretty. She would never be interested in me." Maybe she would be. Maybe you ought to take the risk. Maybe it's Maybe it's 5%. Is it worth taking the risk?

[00:16:56]>> 90% of the girls that I've went uh gone out with are like out of my lane, like way above me.

[00:17:02]>> Or what's the worst thing she's going to say? Not interested. Okay, great. And you move on.

[00:17:06]>> Not because I'm some rich funny guy.

[00:17:09]>> You know, sex is too available. So, it's kind of like, well, I don't know about that. I'm just going to go swipe, right?

[00:17:15]And you know, a couple of our guys when we're on the road and we're doing interviews, one of our guys, I won't say his name, we're in LA and he's like, "Yeah, I'm going to see what the LA market's like." I said, "What the hell does this mean?" I've been married for 16, 17 years. I've been in the same relationship since December 29th of 07.

[00:17:28]So, I'm going to swipe right to see what the LA market looks like. I don't know if you remember this or not. I wasn't actually disappointed. The next I'm like, "That's it? Yes, that that's it."

[00:17:37]>> So, you swipe right and you went and Yeah.

[00:17:40]>> So, it's become so transactional. Why would I flirt with her? I already got what I wanted. So now you may say, Pat, that's not me. I want something serious, fair. Let's talk about that. So what is the purpose of dating somebody? What is the purpose of dating the opposite sex?

[00:17:55]Is it a fling? Like I just want to go out there and have fun. Great. So your outcome is different. Go swipe right.

[00:18:01]>> Yeah.

[00:18:02]>> If your outcome is this, go learn how to DM.

[00:18:04]>> Go improve your DM game.

[00:18:07]>> Go improve how to message.

[00:18:08]>> The logic is the same. You just got to like uh talk to as many women or as many guys as possible. Well, that's it. And you just got to be honest. Don't lie to them that you want to be in a long-term relationship just to like [ __ ] them a few times and then ghost them. Don't do that. Be honest. And like from the start, please. I was like that when I was like 17, 18. But since then, like since I turned 20, I I've stopped doing that.

[00:18:33]But I grew out of it. Okay. It's It's different when you're young and dumb. I mean, I'm still dumb, but uh when you're 30 or you're mid 20s, uh you know, don't do that stuff. G grow out of it. Be honest.

[00:18:47]>> Prove what emojis to send. Maybe some of you guys send emojis of a certain vegetable, if you know what I'm talking about. That's the wrong approach. Maybe you don't know the emoji game. Maybe you need to get a little bit better in the texting part, right? Because we used to make people texting.

[00:19:00]>> But if this is the world you're solving for, it's a transactional world today.

[00:19:05]>> We had to go pursue it. Today's transactional. Maybe you want to have kids. I want to have kids. I don't really care who the wife is. I just want to have kids.

[00:19:13]>> Maybe you're lonely and you want some.

[00:19:15]>> Horrible mindset.

[00:19:16]>> Friday night. You're sick and tired of going to the clubs. You would.

[00:19:18]>> If you just want kids, you don't care about the wife. Horrible mindset. You You should care about the wife. And if you're lonely and desperate, again, you you might make horrible choice. Okay.

[00:19:27]Get friends.

[00:19:28]>> Okay.

[00:19:29]>> Rather go out with somebody.

[00:19:31]>> There's evil people that will end. You come to your apartment. No. You're sitting there watching ESPN Sports Center and honestly your girlfriend's become one of these guys on ESPN that you watch every night or you watch a movie or Netflix or documentary. I just want to talk to somebody. I want to have somebody. Great. That's what you're solving for. Maybe you just want to be cool, >> right? And you're kind of like, man, I got a girlfriend, buddy. Look at her.

[00:19:51]She's a little hottie cuz I'm cool. I got a girl.

[00:19:54]>> Yeah. This maybe teenage behavior and mentality. I get it.

[00:19:57]>> Want a spouse? If you're watching this saying, "I want a wife and you want to have a family." You have to be selective >> and your approach has to be clear. And even if this turns them off, turns them off.

[00:20:11]>> So then this leads me to the last one.

[00:20:13]What leverage do you have in getting girls to come to you? What's your leverage? Everybody has to have leverage. Everybody. You ever see these Rubert Murdoch or Alpacino or, you know, Robert Dinner where they're dating 28-y old girls? You You think the girls with them because they have a nice six-pack?

[00:20:32]You you think the girl's with him because they have high energy and they go running six miles every morning. What do you think she's dating him for? Fame and money and access maybe. What's your leverage? Is it the fact that he >> so sad? I I knew he was going to focus on that stuff.

[00:20:48]>> Uh mainly so I'm not rich, right? Maybe I'll never be. Maybe I will. Who knows?

[00:20:53]Who cares? But it it always, you know, have some skills that are going to be transferable and to be able to get a job. Even though, you know, I say about I say doom and gloom stuff about AI all the time, but we're still not there.

[00:21:09]It's it's happening, but it's not at a huge scale. And uh make sure you have something on the side. like I work plus I do something on the side. Plus, I'm trying to build this like uh real estate business with my dad. Hopefully, it all works out, but I'm I'm doing stuff, right? But I don't want it to be just for the money, okay? I want her to like me and have fun with me and think that I'm a fun person to be around personalitywise. Okay? I'm weird. I guess you could say quirky and I don't want her to be boring and [ __ ] So, if it's just for the money, I don't care about being the 65year-old with the 28-year-old girl. Nah. Nah. I want somebody that's been with me for like two decades, three decades when I'm 65 and be and have tons of memories with her and be fitter than the average 25year-old. Like we I want us to be a gym couple or whatever, right? even at that age and be active and our vacations wouldn't be just drinking cocktails on the beach. No, they would be that plus going hiking and running and and freaking uh scuba diving and and jumping off a plane with a parachute. Hell yeah.

[00:22:25]>> Valuable. You can get into places others can. So, the girls going to be like, "Wow, >> and I can do that stuff right now. I'm not rich and I've done it." Not not the jumping out of a plane. I'm still yet to do that. guy. He's very important. He He's able to get into rooms and certain places others don't. Who is this guy?

[00:22:42]Right. Maybe it's your faith. Maybe the girl said, "I really respect this guy.

[00:22:46]His faith where he's at." Wow. He his faith is above me.

[00:22:49]>> Forgot to mention that. Yeah.

[00:22:50]>> So, when the other day I was willing to do this, he says, "No, God comes before everybody.

[00:22:55]>> Wait a minute. He's not as interested in me as God." No, >> this >> Oh, that makes me want to [ __ ] >> different. Everybody else would want to just have me drop my panties and then boom, we get to work. And this guy's not. No, there's something different about this guy. Huh? He's okay with losing me. He's interested, but his standards are higher based on the values. I'm interested in this guy.

[00:23:16]Maybe it's human nature.

[00:23:18]>> Yeah. Even though it sounds dumb and childish, it's a psychology thing. We tend to want the stuff more that we might lose easier or might be harder to achieve and we are more attracted to that stuff. Jobs, objects, and even people. I just compared people to objects, but you know what I mean.

[00:23:36]>> Good with people. Maybe you're great.

[00:23:38]Well, maybe you're great with talking to people, you you're good at choosing words.

[00:23:41]>> Yeah.

[00:23:42]>> And you feel tension.

[00:23:43]>> I'm not.

[00:23:44]>> Maybe you feel when you're talking to somebody else and you kind of know this is not the time to push too hard. This is my opportunity. Here's how I'm going to approach it in a more subtle way.

[00:23:53]Maybe I'm going to ask the questions instead of being a little bit too direct. Maybe in this situation, I want to be direct. All that is part of human nature, right? You see some guys that are so comfortable with girls. Human nature. Maybe you're a leader and girls want to be led. The right ones.

[00:24:07]>> I'm very comfortable. I can have a lot of fun and be goofy and be serious when it's the time to be serious. That's the thing. I don't really take that stuff too seriously. And I'm nothing when it comes to finance and looks. I'm a nobody. Okay?

[00:24:25]Just just I don't know. Just just don't take yourself too. There's going to be women that are going to like the more serious taking stuff way too seriously.

[00:24:34]I'm saying don't take you approaching her way too seriously. Of course you should take your life and your job and your future seriously.

[00:24:43]>> Let maybe they look at you and they're like, "Wait a minute. This guy's this guy's calm. He knows how to calm me down.

[00:24:49]>> Yep.

[00:24:49]>> I feel very calm around him. That's something I can I like.

[00:24:53]>> Right. Make this guy's going places, right? You're not like making all the money in the world. Maybe you're making 30 grand a year right now, 50 grand a year, 60 grand, but she knows you're going places when you talk to her. Look like there's something there's a certain level of seriousness about this guy.

[00:25:07]>> Yep.

[00:25:07]>> Certain level, not all the time, but they want to see a little bit of seriousness with you.

[00:25:12]>> Whoa, this guy's serious. And if she is also in a place that is looking for the same, >> I think that's like a combination that I have. Again, not perfect. This is just I'm just saying my experience so that maybe you can share your experience and uh you know also learn something from both of us. Uh, usually when I date, right, I do say that I'm yeah, you know, my I have a goal with this business and I do YouTube for fun, right? And I make some money out of it. Plus, I work and uh but at the same time, I'm not overly stressed and depressed and all of this, even though I say a lot of nihilistic dark [ __ ] but that's that's my humor, I guess, and that's the kind of videos I like to make.

[00:25:52]And usually they are attracted to it.

[00:25:56]You know, I'm not a dating expert. I'm just saying what it works. And a lot of the times I say dumb stuff and it sometimes they laugh and sometimes they just ghost me. If you're in the market talking to girls that want this or just want this or just want this, you're wasting your time. If you're in the market for this and this, you have to also go talk to girls that are only looking for this and this. You're wasting your time talking to people that are not. What are you doing talking to girls that are not interested in that?

[00:26:24]So it starts with you as a young man knowing what you're looking for. So now the other part, sense of humor. Notice as a cont.

[00:26:31]>> That's a problem. A lot of young men, we don't know what we're looking for in the beginning. Okay? We we don't. Same goes for women. But you know, when you're in your young 20s, mid20s, you still don't know [ __ ] >> Here, maybe there's an element of seriousness, but maybe you're funny.

[00:26:44]>> Maybe you have a sense of humor. Maybe you're levity.

[00:26:49]>> Just like when they're with you, you make them laugh. And I just love being around him. He is so funny. So maybe phase one of the attraction is not even your physical looks.

[00:26:59]>> Maybe it's just your energy being around like I just really like this guy.

[00:27:02]>> That's what I 6 12 18 months later it's like you know what? Why aren't you and I dating? Maybe we should date. I really like being around you.

[00:27:11]>> There's something about you. It may take a little bit of time, right? Maybe it's your intellect. We have a guy here, Connor. When he talks >> Yeah. being very funny and you know intellect as well helps uh could help you a lot when it comes to women and of course when it comes to men. She can be very funny.

[00:27:28]That's rarely the case. Maybe I'm just an idiot and don't get female humor, but I found some funny girls, right? And uh they were great, but I wasn't physically attracted to them. So, you know, guys uh you know give more attention to physical stuff than women do. Of course, they like they're attracted to physical stuff, obviously, to how do you look?

[00:27:50]But they also give more attention to different stuff compared to us men. It's just it is what it is.

[00:27:55]>> Beautiful. He's so smart. Maybe it's your intellect. May maybe it's your knowledge. Maybe you're so well read.

[00:28:01]>> Maybe it's the way you teach or tell a story like, man, that's incredible. This guy knows all this information. Maybe that's your leverage. Maybe you're famous. Maybe you're not. This is a 1% chance you're famous, right? You're a Logan Paul. You're a big YouTuber.

[00:28:16]You're a big Tik Tocker. And people know who you are. That's 11.

[00:28:18]>> Horrible example.

[00:28:19]>> Statics. You have money. Maybe your career is locked in. Your body looks good. You got a nice back. Muscles.

[00:28:25]Maybe you got a nice face.

[00:28:27]>> You're good.

[00:28:27]>> And again, you don't have to have all of these. And I I don't think you'll have all of the There's rarely any men out there that actually have all of these dialed in >> and they can maintain them forever.

[00:28:37]Probably not. Okay. But just trying to be better every week, month, year in every single one of these uh paths and stuff in life and just trying going out and approaching. I'm just trying to uh simplify it. Try to learn some high income skills. Try to get a job. In the meantime, get any kind of job just to have a job or when you're in college, that's different. Uh go to the gym and eat healthfully mostly. You don't have to be 100% serious and you don't have to look like a freaking bodybuilder. The average person is fat men and women, okay? In the West status.

[00:29:19]Just don't be known as a criminal idiot in your local area. That's the bare minimum. And then they just just don't be boring. That's it. And of course being smart and driven and about something. It can be whatever. Very attractive. Maybe >> that goes same for for women by the way.

[00:29:38]I love intellectual intellectual smart women.

[00:29:41]>> Maybe all of those things are your leverage. So here's a question for you.

[00:29:46]Take a we're going to make a PDF here right now to get at the end. I want you to score yourself on zero to ton on every single one of these guys and then put a plan and say which of these areas can I get better in?

[00:29:57]>> What can I do to increase my connection in everything?

[00:30:00]>> What can I do to improve my human nature?

[00:30:03]>> What can I do to get better as a leader?

[00:30:05]I'm not that funny. Maybe I can be a little bit funnier. Maybe I'm going to always have five to 10 jokes in my pocket. That can be a good way to get people laughing. What can I do? Maybe >> that'll make you overthink way too freaking much.

[00:30:20]Okay. It'll just make you overthink. Uh when I overthink. Overthink. Yeah, I think that's the correct uh term. But uh as I overthink, as I uh over calculate and all of this, then I end up not doing anything or [ __ ] up. Just don't think about it and go and try and if you [ __ ] up, be okay with it and be ready to be cringe because the first five times, as I said, it's going to be [ __ ] painful. Is a way that the onus becomes on you. Maybe it's really on you, not on the girls. Maybe men just giving up on dating. Maybe that's a sign that you're allowing the market >> to make you want to not go out there and date. I'm not a guy that's going to allow my kids and my peers and my nephew and the people like that using that language. So maybe you ought to change your language.

[00:31:04]>> Yeah.

[00:31:04]>> I remember I used to be a part of all the girls all this time. I'm like I'm done. It's not the girls it's me. I'm going to increase my market value. Then what happens that I got something which is the bonus called what?

[00:31:16]>> Options.

[00:31:19]When you have options, you talk to girls in a very different way and they sense it. When you don't have options, you don't. You know how it is in sales? I had a guy that would always come up and be like, "Oh my god, if I close this deal, I'm going to make $50,000."

[00:31:34]And I'm like, "Who else are you working on?" Nobody. This is it, Pat. I'm like, "You don't have a pipeline?" No. You seriously don't have a pipeline? No. Do you know the month I asked my wife out and we went on a date? I was talking to four different girls. The month the night before my wife and I were in Palm Springs together and she came and wanted to spend three days with me at this business conference and we were not even dating. I had just gone through a bad breakup. The night before I was talking to another girl I liked a lot, but politically we were on complete opposite side. Religion we were on complete opposite sides. And there was certain things that she did that just didn't sit well with me. So, there was four girls.

[00:32:12]Every one of these girls had read the 101 questions to ask before you get engaged.

[00:32:17]>> But I had options.

[00:32:19]>> Can you imagine if I'm just one?

[00:32:22]What if she says no for the Oh my god, the rest of my life and the rest of my life. And >> yeah, I get his point.

[00:32:27]>> She's not interested in you. Get over it.

[00:32:29]>> She's not. But I'm going to change it.

[00:32:31]Maybe.

[00:32:32]>> That's why you shouldn't be doing stuff.

[00:32:33]If you're desperate and lonely, get fix your freaking life. Get some friends.

[00:32:40]than this. Okay, >> then maybe you watch notebook 200 times and maybe that's gonna be your story >> and maybe it's not >> and maybe she goes find somebody else.

[00:32:48]Then what do you do?

[00:32:49]>> But I'm telling you in 15 years she's going to leave the senator and she's going to come to me. Maybe >> spoken like a real true unexperienced guy in every field.

[00:33:00]>> And I'm not telling you that doesn't exist. But I'll tell you one thing for a fact. If you don't have a lot of options and you don't find a way to increase your market value, you'll be one of these guys here that's talking about the percentages are so bad.

[00:33:12]>> And uh and by the way, and listen, the reality is most men will not have that many options, okay? And most men will not be this overly rich, successful, greatlooking guy.

[00:33:27]But most women aren't that, you know, aren't a top 1% whatever, right? They're not. They're just very overly confident because, you know, uh, well, when it comes to us males, the kind of advice we give is do this and this and this and try. The kind of advice women usually give is you deserve everything. You're perfect. You don't have to change all of this. I've heard my uh, sisters friends, they're not like that, but they are very rare. like they're actually one of the ones who are going to tell you, "Hey, you look like you just woke up and it's 7 freaking p.m. Okay, you need to take care of yourself. Fix your damn hair.

[00:34:07]Get some nice fitting clothes. Not what the [ __ ] is this?" And go to the freaking gym because even if you think this is offensive and you think you should love me, no, it doesn't matter how I look, you should still do it because as you get older, you're you're going to have a lot of health problems.

[00:34:25]And who likes that? Nobody.

[00:34:27]>> Not at least what I'll tell you is where you looking for them. Where you looking for girls? Because this chart, if you look at these two, how couples met in 1930 versus 2024.

[00:34:36]>> In 1930, 22.48% was family, then school, >> then friends, neighborhood, church, bar, restaurant, college.

[00:34:43]>> Yeah. But just so you know in a lot of places back then especially in like in like the beginning of the previous century in the middle there was a lot of incest in a lot of parts even in the west okay was a lot of inbreeding now those aside I just wanted to make this joke it was much easier because people weren't brainwashed and most people weren't struggling back then with uh what do you call it and I'm thinking I'm I'm talking about the previous century right that they weren't struggling with finances as much especially after the second world war in the USA after that right uh people were talking more in real life and most weren't insecured and just uh crying inside before approaching somebody like what the [ __ ] these days where we can't even pick up the phone no I don't want to talk to somebody's uh calling me on the phone I'm too lazy and I don't want to talk to somebody I don't want to make a What the [ __ ] wrong with you guys?

[00:35:44]>> Co-workers. Of course, the internet was terrible in the 30s, right? It didn't exist.

[00:35:49]>> 2024, what's number one? 61% online.

[00:35:53]>> Friends, co-workers, bar, restaurant, family, school, church, neighborhood, college.

[00:35:58]>> Do you know what they said is typically the highest percentage of it working out? It's co-workers and friends. Do you know why? Because if I work in a place for three, four years, I see her habits, she sees my habits. We now have credit with each other. I know how she handled herself. She saw how I handled myself. I said, "You know what?" Because that's what happened to my wife and I. Five and a half years we were in the same company. We were all >> But what happens when there's very high unemployment and Jenz can't find jobs?

[00:36:22]Then what?

[00:36:23]>> Dating somebody else.

[00:36:24]>> Just a little single for two weeks. And I said, "Hey."

[00:36:28]>> She comes, we go, I said, "What are you looking for in a man?" And she told me, I'm like, she just explained me. I said, "Great." We went downstairs. I had a glass of wine. She had a glass of orange juice. And then three days later, I'm driving her home from Palm Springs and I take her home to Van Nice. Her friends were following us in the back of the car for two and a half hours. I'm just probing, asking questions.

[00:36:47]>> Monday morning comes, I text her Sunday night. I said, "Meet me at Jerry's Delhi tonight."

[00:36:52]>> She does. She meets me Monday night at 10:30 at Jerry's Delhi. For an hour, she's sitting there asking me, "What's the secret to becoming a great agent?

[00:36:59]What's the secret to becoming a great agency builder?" I'm like, "You think you're here because I'm teaching you how to I said you're here. My line." And she told us at dinner three nights ago, I said, "I'm here because I think you like me and I like you too and I think we should date." That was my line. How creative as a line was this? Not very creative.

[00:37:20]>> That doesn't gets up and runs out. And I'm like, "Wait, what?"

[00:37:24]>> She like, "Did she really run out? She got But we're friends, but we're this."

[00:37:27]I'm like, "What? What are you doing?" So she leaves. I come home. I >> damn he was like He was playing a sale job. a sale job with this girl.

[00:37:37]>> Dad, hey, I'm gonna go to Pasadena, Texas because she's going to her family to visit on Christmas. He says, "You can't. You're gonna freak her out." I said, "I'm going to Texas." She said, "I'm telling you, don't I take my dad on MySpace." And I show her picture. I said, "This is going to be my future wife." He says, "Everyone's your future wife." I had a lot of >> What the [ __ ] >> Anyways, so I said, "No, but this is this is the one that he's okay. Okay, this is the one." You know what ends up happening? I send her a question on MySpace and I say, "Aside from risk losing our friendship, what other concerns do you have?" So, I'm isolating the concern. She responds back. She says, "Nothing. My only fear is we're going to lose our friendship. Christmas Eve, I'm about to get on a flight."

[00:38:11]>> She calls me. We get on a 5 and a half hour call together. She comes back home.

[00:38:14]We go on our first date. December 29th, 2007.

[00:38:17]>> No, no, no, no. This is not what it usually happens. Okay. This is I don't know when this was 2002, 310 something.

[00:38:24]This is not how it works. Okay. If you're like talking like a robot like that in my generation, usually it will not pan out. Okay? Just so you know, that's my experience. Then I've said a lot of dumb [ __ ] You have Changs and the rest is history. Now we got four kids together. So you have to also find a way to pray for them, man. I'll have them market. And by the way, this is once you know how many of them didn't work. You know how many of them said no?

[00:38:49]You know how many of them said they're not interested in God? Oh, I think you strong personality. You're too this.

[00:38:54]>> And some of them I was interested. No, it's too strong. It's okay. It's part of the game.

[00:38:58]>> The worst thing you can he he did one thing greatly. Greatly. He he was great at being himself. He like he had all the attributes of being, you know, the attract of being attractive, you know, of a workaholic, of a a good man, a all of this, all of that. But he was a very strong personality, right? Very straightforward. And uh he didn't change it just to get some girl. She he was like, "No, I'm just going to be like this." And eventually he got a girl that actually likes that about him.

[00:39:29]So don't be fake.

[00:39:32]Yeah, >> is [ __ ] about it and complaining about it and join the market that's always saying it's not fair. It's not fair.

[00:39:37]It's not fair. I'm not part of that community. And if you follow my content, you shouldn't be either. You should make a decision to be part of the minority that goes out there and leads.

[00:39:44]>> You should be part of the minority that says, "Hey, I'm going to go out there and find a way to increase my market value. Period. So, with that being said, if you got value out of this video, uh, >> yep, tell me what you guys think in the comments. I already said what everything that I thought going." So, if you don't really watch this guy, he talks about a lot of different stuff, business and the politics and [ __ ] Whe whether you disagree or agree with him, you guys know I watch different kinds of left and right leaning people. I don't give a [ __ ] But yeah, have a nice day. Tell me what you think.