The Child Who Can’t Even Reach for Help

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]Every child comes into the world with one core biological drive.

[00:00:05]When something frightens them, they will reach for their caregiver. This is not a learned behavior. It is built into every human nervous system from birth.

[00:00:14]When a child is hurt or scared or overwhelmed, their whole system fires one signal, go towards safety.

[00:00:21]But what happens when that caregiver is both the source of safety and the source of fear?

[00:00:29]When that frightened child reaches out, but then reaching becomes frightening as well, they will retreat.

[00:00:34]And retreating means moving away from the only available source of comfort, which is also frightening.

[00:00:41]Forward is frightening and backwards is frightening, and there is no direction that leads anywhere safe.