People Don't Know What You've Been Through

Added: 2026-05-10

[00:00:00]Someone out there needs to hear this.

[00:00:03]You've just had a breakup. Whether you were discarded like trash or you got rid of that person, ending the relationship, coming out of that, but you don't know who you are because you've lost yourself in that person after being with him or her in a toxic relationship for so long. This sort of situation comes up a lot in my private coaching sessions.

[00:00:33]So many people out there have been victims and are victims currently of narcissistic abuse.

[00:00:43]Whether it's emotional, physical abuse in some form or fashion that they've had to live through every day for a period of time. For some people it's been months. For others it's been years. And at the end of it you wonder what in the world was that that you lived through?

[00:01:08]It was not normal.

[00:01:11]What a lot of people do not understand who have not had to deal with narcissistic abuse is that they're not normal relationships where people can decide. Okay, this relationship isn't working out. I wish you well. And everybody goes their separate ways and and in in many cases still remain cordial and because there's some care or love still there for one another. Narcissistic relationships are different in that these people are predators.

[00:01:52]They enter relationships solely for the purpose of what they can get out of the other person.

[00:02:00]They're not interested in love unless it's for the purpose of fueling them, fueling their ego, giving them the opportunity to use you, manipulate you, drain you.

[00:02:18]And in many cases, when they've drained the person, they're ready to move on to the next victim. And mind you, narcissistic relationships do not only happen in romantic situations.

[00:02:31]Some people came from narcissistic family members.

[00:02:35]And it's traumatic. They realize that these people are not just extremely self-centered. They're egotistical.

[00:02:45]They're users. They're without love.

[00:02:48]Read second Timothy chapter 3. There's a good description of what narcissists are in the Bible. Even though the word is not mentioned, it says to have nothing to do with such people.

[00:03:04]There's a reason for that. They drain you.

[00:03:09]They try to dim your light.

[00:03:12]They are full of hatred and malice.

[00:03:16]Your love would never be enough for them because they're not interested in love.

[00:03:21]You think of the devil. Is he interested in love?

[00:03:28]No. And these people are doing the work of their father, the devil.

[00:03:34]God is love.

[00:03:37]And the reason why you have been mistreated in such a situation is because you bring light into the space that you're in wherein they they bring darkness and it's an abomination to one another. Light and darkness cannot mix. And that's why there's always the tension, always the problems, always the chaos because the darkness is trying to dim your light.

[00:04:04]And if they can do that, if they can drain you emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, they've got you where they want you. The devil comes to destroy.

[00:04:17]And that is their mission.

[00:04:20]Whether they realize it or not or want to accept it. When people part ways with narcissists, they realize that they have not been dealing with someone who is a normal human being. These people have personality disorders.

[00:04:41]I guess scientifically they'd say that, but we all know, at least some of us know that there are some dark forces that are driving these people. And I've also realized that people who have been in relationships with these narcissists, in romantic relationships, for instance, when they have parted ways, they don't have anyone who really understands what they've been going through.

[00:05:13]Some have reported that friends would say, "Just get over it. Just move on."

[00:05:17]Whatever. Yes, you have to move on.

[00:05:21]Life goes on and thankfully without the knock but it is a process of healing that you have to go through and people who have not experienced these types of situations they don't understand it's not a normal situation.

[00:05:42]This is the only disorder that I've ever heard about where the victims are the ones who have to seek therapy after being in a relationship such a toxic person.

[00:05:56]That says a lot. And usually the ones who are narcissistic, they're the ones who know get never go and get the therapy when they need it. But I would say these people need more than therapy. They need deliverance.

[00:06:10]If you were in a relationship with an arc and you're struggling to forgive, to move on from the betrayal, you're struggling to understand what's what this thing was that you were in dealing with that person. I'm here for you. If you want to sign up for a one-on-one coaching session, don't hesitate to contact me. The link is in my bio. You have to have had a relationship with a narcissist in order to understand exactly what that was, what you were dealing with.

[00:07:00]And it's important to not feel as if you're you're alone in this because you're not.

[00:07:08]You're not. Unfortunately, these people do not have feelings of love, empathy, compassion the way that you and I do and should.

[00:07:26]And because of that they create a lot of chaos in other people's lives.

[00:07:34]But I want you to understand that what you have been through has not been for nothing.

[00:07:43]It's a learning experience in terms of learning what you should and should not put up with. Learning that you cannot change another human being who is comfortable with his own demons or her own demons.

[00:07:59]Learning that you are worth so much more than what you've been getting.

[00:08:04]It's a learning experience.

[00:08:08]The person that you are postnarcissistic abuse, the healed version of yourself, you will love more than you've ever loved yourself before. Not in an egotistical way, but in a healthy way. And that's the point that you need to get to.

[00:08:29]And if you need help getting with that, like I said, you can book a one-on-one call with me. I can hold your hand through your journey.

[00:08:38]Many people they will allow the situation to cause them to be bitter, resentment, hateful, mad at the world, mad at God.

[00:08:51]Don't let that be you. I have a new book out called Healing After Betrayal. It's to help with emotional healing, establishing boundaries, and reclaiming your peace. If you are interested in getting a copy, click the link tree in my bio. Much love to you.