The Feminism Trap: Why Black Marriage Is Collapsing

[00:00:00]I think about the role of men and then the role of women. And as I said, like feminism set particularly I'm talking about second wave feminism that started in the 1960s. In the book, I talk about a woman named Betty Friedan who wrote a book called The Feminine Mystique.

[00:00:13]Um basically arguing that suburban housewives were miserable with their lives as homemakers and so on and that they would be full feel better about themselves and have be fully actualized actualized if they had more access to, you know, economic independence, education, so on and so forth.

[00:00:32]Um but she she talked about the home as a comfortable concentration camp. So, one of the first things you you'll notice about feminists and second wave feminists is the type of language that they use to talk either about men, marriage, or children.

[00:00:45]Um and part of that is because they see uh patriarchy, which they always use in a negative context.

[00:00:53]And sexism.

[00:00:55]Right, they tie patriarchy to sexism and they see sexism as another form of oppression alongside white supremacy and capitalism.

[00:01:04]When you start from that position, then men are always going to be seen as oppressors.

[00:01:10]And if you have an idea a political ideology that sows seeds of discord between men and women, by definition, it can't be pro-family.

[00:01:18]It just can't.

[00:01:19]So, if the woman sees the man as her oppressor, what is going to be her natural reaction? To overthrow him, to fight him, to demean him.

[00:01:27]Um so, I talk about mainstream feminism and that started again 1960s and I'll talk about black feminism.

[00:01:34]>> Mhm.

[00:01:34]>> Which developed as its own unique political ideology where black women where if you ever hear people talk about interlocking systems of oppression, they'll say it's for black people, it's for black men, it's racism and capitalism. But for black women, it's racism, capitalism, and sexism. So, the black woman has three forms of oppression that she's fighting. So, so I quote, you know, I talk about Audre Lorde and Alice Walker and bell hooks and the types of things that they were saying, but but some of these black feminist scholars, which black women to this day are are quoting, um diminish the role of men. As I said, treat marriage as some tool of oppression. And in fact, in the book, the feminism chapter, I started with Ebony K. Williams, which many people know her name.

[00:02:23]>> Mhm. Mhm.

[00:02:23]>> When she said she wanted a bus driver, you know, and so and so forth. The bus driver thing got a lot of attention.

[00:02:30]I I quoted her when she was on the Grio.

[00:02:33]She did a 3-minute segment where she was telling black women who were dissatisfied with their relationships who wanted children that they should stock up on black sperm.

[00:02:42]That is the word that she That's the term she used that term six times in a 3-minute video.

[00:02:46]>> That's crazy.

[00:02:47]>> Like it was black sperm, black sperm, not black men, not black love, not black marriage, it was black sperm.

[00:02:54]>> And as we choose, we do have to contend with the reality of a dismally small supply of black sperm.

[00:03:02]Because most black women on this journey, we want to create children that look like us and that look like our families, and that means we want black sperm. Now, I am extremely fortunate that I was able to secure two vials of black sperm from California Cryobank when I embarked on this part of my journey last fall. Number one, please check out Reproductive Village. It's a new black-owned Cryobank, and it's designed to help with this shortage of black sperm. I say go ahead and start looking right now for desirable black sperm. Then you can scan the current options for black sperm. And if you see some sperm that you like, I suggest go ahead and buy at least two vials right now. Even if you do not intend to use them anytime soon, trust me, it's better to have them than to be without them when the time comes. And listen, if you never need them, for whatever reason, what a wonderful gift to give to a friend or sorority sister in need. And also, most of those banks, they allow you to resell the sperm back to the bank itself. Listen, I know that many are going to question or even indict the decision that I and many other black women are making to become single mothers by choice.

[00:04:13]>> And and you get to that point by having for 60 years having women demean men, talk about them as oppressors, um you know, talk about children as, you know, some sort of burden and holding them back from being able to go to school and and do doing all that.

[00:04:33]So, yeah. So, so these these are women who just often times are bitter, they're angry.

[00:04:39]Um it's hard to think of any black feminist scholars.

[00:04:42]>> Mhm.

[00:04:43]>> I'm not talking about women who subscribe to some form of feminism. I'm talking about the scholars.

[00:04:48]I name some. Alice Walker, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, bell hooks.

[00:04:53]Contemporary ones would be, you know, Brittany Cooper, other people like that.

[00:04:57]It's hard to find any of them who are, were, or have been married to a black man for an extended, let's say, 10 to 20 years. They're The ones that I found are either single, they're spinsters, lifelong bachelorettes.

[00:05:12]>> Mhm.

[00:05:13]>> They're lesbians.

[00:05:14]>> Mhm. Mhm.

[00:05:15]>> Or they're married to white men.

[00:05:17]>> Mhm.

[00:05:17]>> And I think of the two co-founders of BLM, Patrice Cullors.

[00:05:21]>> Mhm. I I want to bring that up. I want to bring >> you got >> So, so you have people saying that they're fighting for the black community, right?

[00:05:28]Who have no interest in black men other than their reproductive material, cuz I think Patrice Cullors has got a son.

[00:05:34]And when they write about black villages, one of their 13 guiding principles, they don't say, "It takes a village to raise a child. Therefore, we want to come along black families as they raise their children and usher them into excellence, and so on and so forth.

[00:05:48]They start by saying, "We commit to disrupting the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure."

[00:05:54]Now, you got to ask yourself, why would somebody who's pro-black want to disrupt the family?

[00:05:57]>> Mhm.

[00:05:58]>> That's because they're guided by ideology. They're not guided by what's best for our community. And that's why I'm not trusting any woman who has no interest in in black men to be leading a movement that she says is to benefit black men.