r/OffMyChest - Sued by Insane Parents

Added: 2026-05-15

[00:00:00]Disclaimer.

[00:00:05]Ah, well, good evening, ladies, loses, and loses, and welcome to the click. You smell absolutely astounding. Today, why is this so dark? And don't let anyone else lie to you and tell you otherwise.

[00:00:14]Today, we are going to enjoy some cozy cozy storytelling in the dark.

[00:00:19]Apparently, we're going to look at r/t true off my chest. Enjoy. R/ true off my chest. I think I know why no man takes my friend on a fifth date, but I am not telling her. I just got back from a week in Bali with a close friend, and I think I finally get why none of the men she meets go past three to four dates with her, and I feel awful because I know I'm never going to tell her. She is actually great, smart, funny, kind, but there is something I saw on this trip that I cannot unsee now. The cat. the cat who wasn't not there, but her ghost followed us everywhere anyway. Is this like uh is this like a haunted story? Everything, and I mean everything, came back to the cat. Every couple of hours, we were back on it. At dinner, in beautiful places, she would go quiet, scrolling old photos, worrying if the cat was depressed. She would do multiple FaceTimes with her sitter every single day, fullon baby voice. At night, she would literally sing lullabibies to the cat over the phone. She would leave beach parties to get updates from her sitter. I mean, I can relate to being really invested in your pet and really caring about them and stuff, but this uh this might go a little bit over the top.

[00:01:32]Okay, at first it was cute. Then it got uh a lot. We walked past a tattoo shop and she seriously considered getting her cat's face tattooed. in a cafe. She saw two cartoon characters kissing on the menu and went, "Ah, this reminds me of me and my cat.

[00:01:48]But they're they're kiss. What does that have to do with the cat?" No.

[00:01:53]I asked how. She said once her cat sniffed another cat and they looked like they were kissing. Like everything was filtered through the cat. One day we spent three whole hours finding the perfect gift for the cat. Can you imagine going on a trip with your friend and you're not the main character of the trip? your friend is not the main character of the trip. A cat that isn't even there is the main character of the trip. Like, don't get me wrong, I love animals. I love spoiling my animals. I love snuggling animals. All that kind of stuff. I'm a big animal fan, but there is such a thing as too much, and I do think this is too much. One day, we spend three whole hours finding the perfect gift for the cat. Three. The cat is going to break it in 5 seconds, and we could have done something else in that time. explored a new place maybe, but nope. And then I learned how she lives and it got worse. How How can it get wor how can it be more intense than this? She has a no close door policy because if any door closes, the cat screams all night. Bedroom, bathroom, everything open. This means that the cat sleeps on her chest every night. Follows her into the bathroom, sits on her lap when she's going on the toilet, and also watches her shower. I try to imagine a guy coming over and yeah, that's probably where things end. She also wants this insane Kdrama level love like can't live without each other kind, but then casually said one day that she would always choose her cat over a partner. So what is someone even signing up for? Wait, so the dude is supposed to be crazy about her, but he's supposed to be second choice to the cat. I suppose that's kind of the priority. I mean, seems kind of convenient for her. I suppose she gets her K-le drama love from from whoever she's dating and she also gets the main character the [ __ ] out of the cat. So I mean I guess for her it's a win-win. Finding someone who signs up for it might be a different struggle. By date three or four I am guessing the guy has heard about the cat 30 to 40 times. Seen her facetime it mid meal. Maybe been to her place, maybe gotten scratched and realized this isn't a she has a pet. This is the pet is the main character and I am not and will never be. So he leaves politely. She thinks men are untrying, gets upset, goes back to the cat, bond gets stronger. Next guy sees an even more intense version of this and leaves faster loop. And the worst part, she has no idea. And I am not telling her because I know how that conversation goes. She will get defensive and I will become the villain who doesn't get her bond with her pet and our friendship will be over. So yeah, now every time she says he just wasn't feeling it, I'm like, I think I know exactly what he felt. Note, this is not me saying people with pets or cats can't date or are difficult to be with. Well, certainly not. I've had pets myself. I have dated people with pets. But this is certainly like outside of the norm. It is perfectly understandable when someone has like, you know, a dog waiting at home for them and you're seeing them on a date and it's like, "Oh, I have to go home a bit early, you know, I have to sync it with the with the dog sitter."

[00:04:46]Like, whatever it might be. That is perfectly normal and understandable. But but this is kind of like beyond that.

[00:04:52]You know, when you FaceTime a sitter to read bedtime stories for your cat when you're on vacation with someone, then it becomes a whole different beast of main characterism. This isn't like, oh, I have a pet I am responsible for. You're spoiling it more than most people spoil their kids. You know, this is just an exceptional case where someone's deeply imshed relationship with their pet might be affecting their dating life. Yeah, I think dating on these terms is going to be is going to be a little bit difficult. Like I said, don't get me wrong, I love animals and pets and so on so forth. And I would expect people who have pets also to love their pets and stuff, but also like interrupting your vacation with someone to read bedtime stories to your cat over FaceTime is so main character. Like cats are usually main characters, but this is a main character main character. Quick disclaimer before this next story. It's about depression and ending things, so to say. We'll put a little timestamp here in case you find it a little bit too dark to to deal with at the moment.

[00:05:49]Let's get into it. My partner saved my life today and doesn't know it. I was going to off myself today. I was going to spend my workday carrying on normal routine while deciding how to do it with the least amount of collateral damage.

[00:06:03]Write my letter and be gone from the world. I'm at a point in my depression where the thoughts have completely consumed me for reasons I won't go into.

[00:06:10]8:00 a.m. came around and I usually called him to say good morning and just to hear his voice. Normal routine, I had to keep up. He made a remark about wanting to hear his voice and decided it was a fun moment to sing the alphabet followed by, "Well, I think that covers most words." Ridiculous, I know, but he's a silly person, and it's one of the 100,000 reasons I love him." The silly moment hit me hard, and I thought to myself, "Okay, I can't do this to him."

[00:06:36]I went about my day desperately trying to shake off the intrusive thoughts. I get to work struggling with not knowing what I was going to do next. I had a missed call. I thought it was strange as I knew that he knew I was at work and doesn't usually call me. I called back and he exclaimed that he had a free moment and only wanted to call to tell me he loved me. We exchanged words and I left for the bathroom for a full-on meltdown. This is not something he does.

[00:06:59]Not because he doesn't care, but because it's not his love language. It's mine.

[00:07:03]So, I got off work, made him an Easter basket, and bought all of his favorite things to grill. And now I'm sitting outside grilling dinner for him for once in a long time. I can hear the birds. I can see the blue in the sky. I can breathe. I don't know if the thoughts will be back or when they will be back.

[00:07:19]This doesn't solve the problems I desperately need to talk through in therapy. But he has given me a reason to live. At least for today. Today I am alive. That is so incredibly sweet. I really do hope you make it through this.

[00:07:33]you are strong and also you can rely on people around you that love you. Your partner is showing you that they do indeed care and they love you and they go through the effort to call you in the middle of the day with the love language that you know that they know is your love language. You do indeed have something to live for, you know, and you are so strong and you will go through it. I believe in you. By telling your story, you may save someone else. There is a reason you got that call today.

[00:08:01]Today is not the day to say goodbye. And neither is tomorrow. Your partner needs you. Take one day at a time. Pick something, even if it's as small as hearing the birds every day. That's a little ray of positivity or hope, and hold on to that. You are worth more than you give yourself credit for. I am glad you are still here. Yeah, it might be me. This post is helping today. Your comment is helping as well. I am glad I run across this post. Edit. Well, now you all are going to make me. Thank you all for your support. I'm glad you're all here and alive, too. Woo! Absolute sleigh moment. Tell you, I love to see wholesomeness like that. This is what the internet is made for. Silly video games with friends and stuff like this.

[00:08:40]This like really brings me hope about humanity that we can actually be here for each other when it really matters.

[00:08:46]This is so beautiful. Be kind to someone today. It can mean more than you think.

[00:08:51]R/ true off my chest. I listen to my brain instead of my pen. It's kind of a kind of a little bit of contrast between the stories, isn't it?

[00:09:02]Guys, there is this new girl at work I was feeling. We were vibing and was clearly heading towards intimacy, but I took a few minutes to really think about it and realized it wasn't a good move, especially at a job I really like. If it were a part-time job, maybe. But still, so I paused. She ended up hooking up with someone else around my age and lifestyle. She thought it was going to turn into a relationship, but he just wanted intimacy, which honestly is what I wanted, too. Now he's ignoring her, and she's been acting out at work, crying, disrupting things, and now HR is involved. Ah, and they say romance is dead. That is absolutely beautiful. I am honestly so glad I listened to my brain instead of my impulses last week. I can't stop smiling.

[00:09:47]Oh my god. This is some version of like learning from someone else's mistake. At least it's kind of a validation that you made the right choice. I suppose it's like, oh, they made the choice I was thinking about making and that absolutely blew up. I'm glad that wasn't me. I think I have a bumblebee. Hello.

[00:10:03]Uh, are you a Yeah, there we go. Now he's outside almost. I felt something landing on my leg and it was indeed a bumblebee. Friend, springtime is officially here. My brother tried to pull a fast one on his wife and she did a una reverse and I am laughing watching him scramble. My brother's fake name Dick and his wife Anna have been having some serious marital problems which is 99% Dick's fault. Anna is a stay-at-home mom, goes to college online and has a side business with an MLM, but whatever.

[00:10:33]She has made some new friends and seems to be happier. I mean, sounds pretty good apart from the MLM part. Anyway, before they had kids, Dick and Anna had a solid marriage. Anna told me after the kids came, their marriage slowly went downhill and now it's on life support.

[00:10:48]Anna does everything for the kids. And Dick wants a medal for watching the kids for 30 minutes while Anna cooks dinner.

[00:10:54]Oh, the classic stereotype of like, "Oh, look at that. Daddy's babysitting the kids." No, he's also a parent. He's He's also a parent. He is more than capable of taking care of them. But chooses to let Anna do everything if he can get away with it. The MLM Anna is involved with is having a big convention this week. We are locals, but Anna decided to do a station and is staying at a hotel near the convention with her friends.

[00:11:18]This has been planned for months. Anna told Dick to take time off work and made it very clear she needed a break and this would be a really good opportunity to network. I mean, MLM and stuff, but I also understand why someone who's staying home with the kids a lot would need to like get away with friends and like network and actually do adult stuff. You know, MLM stuff might just be like the side thing to be honest. This sounds like she just needs the the adult company. Over Christmas, she asked him if he got approved for the time off, and he said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." I told her, "He is going to mess this up for you." And she told me, "He better not." She called me in tears. And Dick texted her that an emergency came up at work and he would not be able to take off. He had to put in a long day on Tuesday and would be flying out on Wednesday. He was so sorry and would make it up to her. I thought she was going to have a breakdown. She could barely talk. I told her to calm down and finish packing and pick her kids up from school. I said I would watch them until Dick got home. She did not want me in the middle. I told her, "Fick Dick."

[00:12:14]That's a That's an interesting sentence.

[00:12:17]And we've never been close and I did not give a damn how he reacted. I watched the kids until Dick strolled in at 10 p.m. and told him he was a selfish pile of stinky poo on my way out the door. He blasted my phone and I put him on do not disturb. I talked with Anna yesterday and he blasted her phone as well. She ended up telling him they could either get marriage counseling or see divorce lawyers. His choice. But he better stop calling her unless it was an emergency with the kids or she was calling to talk to them. He cooled his jets after being told that. He stopped by my house and I spoke to him through the Ring camera and he asked me what he was supposed to do with the kids. He's the parent. What do you mean? You're supposed to parent your kids. What the I asked him if he even bothered to request the time off from work and he would not answer me and said he had an important business trip. He said Anna won't give the contact info for their babysitters and asked me if I could watch the kids. I told him to get the frick off my property with his BS.

[00:13:11]If he were any kind of parent, he would already have the contact info for the babysitter. Anna prepped meals for the kids, organized all their clothes for the week, and left a detailed interior for their schedule. What else does he need? our parents and his in-laws won't return to return his calls. Okay, you know it's bad when the parents on both sides are ignoring him and also fed up with his BS. You know, something like this in a vacuum could be one way or another. You know, something maybe actually did come up at work. Who knows?

[00:13:39]But at this point, I also believe that something didn't actually come up at work. Because if you look at all the context clues, like both the parents are already done with him. The wife is fed up with him. He doesn't even have the babysitter's contact info. He's so clueless about taking care of the kids, even when everything is prepped ahead of time. Like, this is someone who's not a present parent in the least. Having a demanding job is one thing, but this is just ridiculous. He is flying solo this week and had to cancel his alleged business trip. Anna says she will get to the bottom of that when she gets back home. If it wasn't a business trip, what was it? Was he Was he flying out to like, I don't know, cheat with someone or something like that? It sounds incredibly sussy. Like, where are you flying if it's not actually a business thing? I hope she has the best time with her friends. I hope Dick does not get a moment of peace. No one is buying his lies or coming to his rescue. And I laugh when I think about it. Good luck, bro. she will get better behavior from him as an ex-husband with the courts mandating his parental effort under pain of contempt. There is no way he requested a time off. And I would love to see what a judge would do with that sort of BS during proceedings. I don't believe for a second he requested time off. As crazy as it sounds, he would probably be a more involved father if they got a divorce. I mean, then there would be some sort of pressure on it, you know, and then also the kids would actually be his responsibility when they are with him. So, he would have no choice but to actually be present or take, you know, bare minimum responsibility. So, yeah, he probably would be a more involved parent as an ex-husband, which is a crazy thing to say out loud, but I think it's actually applicable in this instance. I am no longer going to be celebrating my husband's birthday. I have been with him for 10 years, 10 birthdays. First birthday spent together, he suffered a huge loss. I comforted him and supported him through it and still trying to make him feel special and celebrated. Over time, I learned that his birthdays growing up weren't great. He was one of five kids. He hadn't had a birthday party since kindergarten. And as a teen, he was often made to babysit his younger siblings while his parents worked or went out. Yes, he has resentment issues.

[00:15:40]Yes, he needs to talk to a therapist.

[00:15:42]Yes, I have recommended that to him many times in the last decade. That said, after the first year, I decided I can save his birthdays. Oh, this is not going to go well, is it? And I have gone above and beyond within my means to make each of his birthdays special. But every single one has been a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom.

[00:16:02]Nothing I do is correct. Nothing I do is enough. Yet, I know if I didn't try, he would be horribly hurt. Okay, so you're kind of trapped in the middle as well.

[00:16:10]You know, he would notice if you didn't try, but he's not going to be happy about anything you actually do. That is uh that is not a nice position to be in.

[00:16:17]This year, I decided this was it. He's starting the next decade on a positive note. Come hell or high water. So I along with his mom threw him a surprise 40th birthday party. I also surprised him with concert tickets he was very excited for. Did he enjoy the party?

[00:16:33]Nope. Afterwards he complained about the food, the cake, the date, the time, how it was too far from his birthday, how Easter weekend. So clearly it wasn't well thought out. Complained about people who came. His sister who he doesn't like but they've been cordial with my mother-in-law. So I didn't think it would be a problem. and about people who didn't show, about how long or how short people stayed, about how I spent too much money on the party and tickets, and that I shouldn't have. I was blown the away by the audacity. I have been so hurt since then. But being empathetic and still trying to make his actual birthday today nice for him, I chose to move past it. I was going to talk to him after his birthday about how hurt I was because I am not a douche who would want to do it on his birthday. But after today, today he's been moody, negative, and picking fights with me despite being cheery and more than forgiving about his piss poor attitude. I finally snapped and shouted at him. It is statistically impossible for someone to have 10 terrible birthdays in a row when you have a partner who actively tries to make them fun and special every single year. This is a choice. You are choosing to be unhappy on your birthday. You are ungrateful and I am over this. I know that nothing will ever be good enough for him. So, I am no longer going to put my energy into his birthday. Not after 10 consecutive failed attempts. What did he do for uh your birthdays? Not a thing, I bet. I plan my own birthdays.

[00:17:52]Oh my god. On top of this, it's aing one-way street. Holy [ __ ] man. No. I know what I like and what would make me happy, and I don't depend on others for my happiness. Oof. You know, this lands in a very similar category to like you can't help people who don't want to help themselves. You can't make people happy who don't want to be happy. You know, if he's insistent on having a miserable birthday, it's going to be [ __ ] miserable no matter how much someone else tries.

[00:18:20]Man, he sounds like an absolute hassle.

[00:18:22]You absolutely deserve someone who at the very least is grateful when you put in this amount of effort for their birthday and optimally puts in the same amount of effort into your birthdays as well. Relationships are supposed to be a two-way street. And this one sounds like a one-way street, but on top of that, it's a one-way street that is also just like crashing and burning. It's not even a functional one-way street. I got an abortion, and now my parents are trying to sue me. Jesus Christ. Trust off my chest subreddits have the wildest titles ever. I am F-16 and a month ago, I realized I was pregnant. I come from a very religious household, so having intimacy before marriage at my age is seen as sinful. And getting an abortion is even worse. Oh yes, indeed. There is no hatred and abuse quite like Christian love. Baby, I didn't tell anybody. And since I live in California, I don't need my parents' consent. When I paid, I used my credit card that my parents gave me.

[00:19:15]Before giving me this card, they told me that they put it under my name, so I have to be careful the way I spend it.

[00:19:20]After I did the procedure, everything went back to normal. I assumed it was over with and this would just be another lesson I had to learn. I don't know what I was thinking. I think it was the anxiety and the stress and the fact that I just wanted to get it over with. But I completely forgot that my parents are able to see the card statement. So when my mom came into my room yelling at me, asking me why a charge was made to Planned Parenthood, I didn't know what to say. Both of my parents started freaking out asking me all types of questions. I tried to lie, but my parents aren't dumb and they knew I was lying. They didn't speak to me for weeks. And I just remember hearing my mom praying for me, praying to God that I don't go to hell for what I did. I always find this kind of stuff to be so ironic. When I think of like good people or good parents, I think of someone who would be there for their kids, you know, talk them through this kind of stuff or, you know, be there for them when they have to make difficult choices or go through things. This is just terrible.

[00:20:11]You're not only making your teenage child feel awful, you're also like praying and pretending they're going to go to hell for something. That's not good parenting. That's you like trying to feel good about yourself while subscribing to an obviously harmful doctrine. This is so bad, man. Last week when I came back home from school, my mom handed me a paper and told me to read it. The paper claims that my parents are claiming that I used their credit card without their permission to pay for medical services at Planned Parenthood. They didn't authorize the charge and were unaware it occurred until after the fact. They are claiming emotional distress and financial loss and want me to reimburse the funds to them. They even paid for a lawyer and everything.

[00:20:52]You see, this is what I mean. This is a sign ofing parents. You know, they're trying to disguise this under the guise of like, oh, Christian goodness or whatever, but they're obviously just terribleing people. You're sitting there and trying to sue your 16-year-old teenager who's like living in your home, depending on you, and you're supposed to be their guardian and guide and protector in this world, but now instead, you're their worst bully, making them feel bad, shaming them for things, not being there for them, and using disguise of like religious goodness to justify it. Yeah, they said this is their way of punishing me since they already asked God not to. Oh, wow.

[00:21:26]You know, thanks, Mom. I would be so tempted to clap back with like, "No, no need to do that. just lets God carry out the punishment, you know, just just let him do it. It's fine, you know. I'll be I'll be mature. I'll take God's punishment, you know, bring it on or whatever.

[00:21:40]That would be a kind of good clapback.

[00:21:42]That would sort of call them out. Are you really going above God with this punishment? H And they said that if I am punished by their hands, that God might have mercy on my soul and allow me to go to heaven. If they win this case, I don't have any money to pay them back.

[00:21:55]Even my grandmother is saying that what they're doing is unnecessary and unfair, but they don't care. My dad looks at me like I'm the biggest mistake of his life. And my mom is treating me like I just committed a crime. Starting to smell like no contact. Oh my god, these are just abusive parents under the guise of Christianity.

[00:22:14]Oh my god. I have been appointed to a G, but I am still scared. She's assured me they aren't going to win, but I am not sure. I mean, that is wild. Of course, they're not going to win, but still, it's very scary and it's amazingly awful that your own parents are doing this.

[00:22:28]Does the card you use have your name on it? If it does, they authorized you to use their account. They cannot press charges. You can't sue a minor. They would basically just be suing themselves. I doubt they found a lawyer to take this case. I think they are bluffing to scare you. Yeah. Or they, you know, paid a lawyer for one hour of their time to like write out one scare letter. You know, sometimes people do that for like, you know, slap suits or cease and desists or whatever. They haven't actually hired hired a lawyer.

[00:22:55]They just paid a lawyer to basically put their stamp on a piece of paper to make it look more official or whatever, but no one has actually taken on a case or whatever. They lied about to being under my name so that I wouldn't spend as much money on the card. I am only an authorized user. They took it to civil court and they did find a lawyer to take the case. They did? What kind of lawyer is this? Oh my god. But IGLA says that they will be dismissed because they have no legal basis. Does the card have your name on it? Usually authorized users have a card with their own name. And regardless if you're an authorized user, for all intents and purposes, you're allowed to use the card as you please, as was authorized by your parents. Their lawsuit is frivolous. Also, I'm not a lawyer. OP, you're in luck because you're in California and you have a g.

[00:23:38]You will absolutely have a right to get an abortion in California, so that is not an issue. Your parents are trying to retroactively revoke the permission they gave you to use the credit card because they don't like where you used it. But if they didn't give you any restrictions on it to use when they gave it to you other than be careful with it and you can show a history of using it, then it's going to be very hard for them to claim that you weren't an authorized user, especially if the card is in your name. Answer all the G's questions. Get them everything they ask for, like documents or information. And consider asking about emancipation so you can go live with your grandmother or somewhere else. Yeah, this is just abusive household, okay? They are abusive parents. You know, this is not how parents are supposed to treat you. They are using their Bible or whatever as an excuse to abuse you under their own roof. These are not people you would want in your life. And I know that really sucks to hear, but they are absolutely terrible people. Oh, and did the guy who knocked you up kick in anything for the abortion? I sure hope so. Opie told no one she was PGO. She just went and got the abortion. So, I'm assuming the guy did not pay anything.

[00:24:39]Yeah, that does make sense. I suppose it wasn't mentioned in the story, so probably not. But yeah, you are going to get through this absolutely fine. Legal stuff is scary. I am not a lawyer, full disclaimer. But there is so much stuff of this smells weird. You know, first off, you're a minor. Secondly, you were authorized to use the card, so they would basically just be suing themselves. On top of that, they're suing you about emotional distress for something you were doing with your own bodily autonomy. That's weird. That's not how any of this kind of stuff works.

[00:25:07]And there is not a court in California that would take that seriously, at least as far as I know. So, you are going to be absolutely fine legally speaking. And I do hope you get out of the household because these are just abusive parents using Christianity as like a little cover for actually being good. We're doing this for your good. We're being abusive pieces of so God won't punish you. Wow, what a deal. I saw something at Walmart that completely changed my definition of romance. I went to Walmart today and saw this at the checkout line. The line was moving kind of slow and this adorable old couple, maybe in their 70s, was ahead of me. The guy was looking worried about some tea item on his receipt and said something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, honey. I know you wanted a green box. My mind was just not present." I thought she would be mad at him because there was a lot of traffic and the employees were looking stressed as well.

[00:25:58]But instead of that, she put her hand on his arm and looked at him in such a loving way. I have never seen someone with so much sincerity. She then said something along the lines of, "Honey, I have been drinking tea with you for some number of years." I think she said 40.

[00:26:12]And as long as you're with me drinking tea on our table, I don't care if it's green or not. That very moment, I realized that I have been deceived into thinking that love has to be some grand romantic gesture or some big fancy gift, etc. And that here was what love really meant. Graceful patience over little things that go wrong. I didn't tell them that or interrupt them, but because it happened in front of me, I saw it and understood what was important. Now, I wanted to share this with you guys because it helped me remember that normal, boring love is the most beautiful kind there is. Ah, that is so beautiful. I love how the stories on the subre just ping pong between beautiful and absolutely the most cursed ever. It is very intriguing. My husband disgusts me. I literally can't stand him anymore.

[00:26:56]We have been together for 6 years, married for one. We have a 8-month-old kid together. He's always been on the bigger side, but about 1 and 1/2 years ago, he just ballooned. Quite literally is about 400 lb. I understand that people do change. He just won't do anything to fix it. He has no energy, is constantly falling asleep. He even falls asleep while driving. It's legitimately terrifying. That almost sounds like some kind of heart issue. Is he having some sort of heart issue? It runs into family cuz that sounds scary. I mean, you know, weight and health and that sort of stuff is one thing, but this sounds like it's additional issues on top of that. This sounds like it's probably a heart problem. I have begged him to go to the doctor so many times. He hasn't been once the entire time we have been together. He always says he'll do it, but never does. He is on my insurance, so I know he is covered. I wonder if he kind of knows himself that something is seriously wrong and is procrastinating getting it checked up because it doesn't become real or whatever until you get it verified. But I would also imagine that you would want to because you want to be there for your kid and you want to catch anything that is potentially dangerous as early as possible. I am the main breadwinner working 60 hours a week. He was fired from his job right after New Year's due to a calling out too much and b literally falling asleep at the front counter standing up. Yeah, this is this is more than just like gaining weight or letting yourself go after marriage or whatever. This is uh this sounds really serious. I still care about him, but I can't stand him. I don't want to kiss him. I cringe away when he tries to cuddle. He constantly stinks now. I have to hold my breath if I'm just trying to scooch past him to grab something in his proximity. I have suggested couples counseling. I have suggested going for walks around the neighborhood or going to the gym together. I am already back to the same size I was before I got pregnant. I am doing all I can to take care of myself and our kid, but I refuse to be his mom. It's just so heartbreaking. If he doesn't do something soon, I honestly don't think I can stay in this relationship. I mean, it does sound like he is suffering from it and he's going through something and the falling asleep while standing up certainly sounds like a bigger problem than just putting on weight, but at the same time, it's also up to him. He has to go to the doctor. No one can make him go get it checked out. So, that does land on him. I mean, I hope he has support for it and gets the proper help, but he also has to be the one to actually go get that. My husband and I both agree that if we let ourselves get like that, we would give each other some time to make a change, but if not, we would leave. That would also be horrible modeling for your child. Jesus, that's quite an agreement. Did you have that before marriage? Not saying it's wrong, but that's crazy. I know who just promised each other they would stay fit, but nobody who ever said, "We're going to end if you don't." There's a huge difference between not being fit and weighing over 400 lb. And also on top of that, refusing to get checked out when you probably have a serious heart condition when you both have a small baby. That that makes it a little bit different. Yeah, I don't mean we have to stay fit. Just if one of us get morbidly obese or something, been together for 10 years. Yeah, it was before marriage.

[00:29:48]Yeah, but this isn't just extra weight.

[00:29:49]He's falling asleep behind the wheel and at his job. He is struggling keeping up with hygiene. He's currently not capable of taking care of a child. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like at that point, it it gets to the point where you don't have a partner you're like raising your kid with anymore. you know, he can't hold down a job, he can't stay awake, he can't take care of the child, his hygiene is faltering. There's obviously like some deeper issue with like a heart condition or something like that. That becomes really really serious. This isn't about like, oh yeah, I put on, you know, 30 lbs or whatever after marriage and, you know, a lot of office work or whatever that happens. You don't keep a teenager metabolism forever. But this is this is way more serious than that. I am extremely bitter after losing weight and being treated differently. Ooh, we're kind of like on the on on the weight gain discussions here. Okay, this is very consistent these stories in a row.

[00:30:35]I am a woman who has lost 70 lbs. And while I'm over the moon with my accomplishments, I know it sounds like I'm complaining and should be grateful.

[00:30:43]Trust me, I have worked hard for this, but I'm becoming more and more bitter and angry. I used to think when I lose weight, I am going to do this and that.

[00:30:50]But the truth is, I have turned into a birch. I don't know how to cope because people are treating me differently.

[00:30:56]Family that used to look over me are suddenly including me in plants and I have become this important character in their social plans. Men that I used to like that didn't like me suddenly telling family and friends, "Oh, hook hook me up with her." And I am pissed off. I am still the same person I was 70 lbs heavier. They just never saw me, didn't want to see me, didn't care. I spent a lot of time crying because emotionally I still feel like that same woman who suffered in silence. I am very happy with my looks now, but I hate what's come with it as far as people.

[00:31:25]People think I am being mean because I lost weight. But it is because I want to tell them how crappy they treated me then and only bother to like me now. So frustrating. Maybe I just need to shut up and enjoy my new life. My weight has gone up and down and it's nuts how differently people treat you. Even just short interactions with cashier. I mean, yeah, pretty privilege is absolutely a thing. It plays into like not only dating, but it plays into like, you know, job opportunities, interviews, how people socially treat you and that kind of stuff. Don't get me wrong, it's not everything. there is to it, but it certainly plays a big role. If you've ever like had a glow up or whatever, or a glow down for that matter, or both, you will definitely notice the difference. One thing that I have also noticed in a similar vein to this is, for example, how people treat you depending on clout. And that is one of the reasons I really value like my old friendships that I got to know before I ever did YouTube. Because I've also had the unfortunate things of meeting people that seem very friendly at first, but then after a while it becomes more and more obvious they're only interested in you because of what you can offer in terms of like clout or whatever like oh hanging with the cool kid or whatever as if I would be cool my job ising cringe by definition but anyway that's like in a similar vein I have noticed and that's why I really value friendships for example that have nothing to do with what I do here. None of my close friends IRL give a [ __ ] about how well I have done on YouTube apart from saying like congrats bro glad it's going well you know but no one no one cares about like clout on YouTube and that is wonderful I love that because I would hate it to know that people around me and how they treat me depend on like how many followers you have on a social media platform that'd be terrible and I suppose that what you are feeling here is kind of similar to that when I have encountered people who I thought were friendly and genuine, but it turns out they were only after like clout and those kind of those kind of opportunities. So, yeah, totally get it.

[00:33:17]I am a gay man, but I'm in love with one of my female friends. Okay, I know this sounds like a fake Reddit rage bait, but I need to get this off my chest. I don't care if people think this is real or not, but the guilt I feel is eating me from the inside. I am gay and have been since age of 12. I have never found a single woman, real or fictional, attractive, ever, no matter how hard I try. I am in my third year of college and when I was a freshman I met this girl who we will call Sarah. I am 20 and she is 23. She is also by and with a heavy preference for women. We became fast friends becoming extremely extremely close to each other. All was well till about 6 months ago. I don't know what happened or what caused it but I suddenly had this deep primal attraction to her. I started blushing and stuttering at every little thing she would say and I would start thinking about her whenever I watched adult things. It escalated to the point where I think I may genuinely be in love with her. Just the sight of her face or the sound of her voice or even the thought of her gets me than I can describe. I have started avoiding her because all I can think about when talking to her is kissing her or doing things with her. I can't hide my I've had boyfriends, but none have made me feel like this before.

[00:34:26]I genuinely don't know what to do. I feel disgusting. I feel like a monster, disgrace, a horrible friend. I have thrown up because of how disgusted I feel with myself. No, don't don't do that. It's okay. Okay, it's okay to figure yourself out. It's fine. It's fine. Who you are trumps any kind of label you apply to yourself earlier.

[00:34:43]Okay, labels are a good way to like in a simplified way communicate things or like have community or what have you.

[00:34:49]But you should never feel trapped by a label you thought applied before, but now it turns out, oh my god, my spectrum is actually wider than this label I put on myself 10 years ago. You know, it is okay to expand your horizon or realize you're into things that you didn't think you will be into before. That is okay.

[00:35:06]That is perfectly okay. And you shouldn't feel disgusted with yourself because of that. It's a good thing.

[00:35:11]You're finding out more things about yourself. And that is beautiful. And it's with someone you deeply care about.

[00:35:17]I have spent so many nights up late crying wondering where I went wrong. You haven't went wrong anywhere. I suppose it can also become a bit of a identity crisis, so to say. But you are still the same person. What has happened is that you have just found something that lands outside of the label that you used for yourself before. And that is okay.

[00:35:35]Everything is a spectrum and you can still use whatever label you want. That is fine. But don't let the label be a trap. A label should be a way of finding community or not feeling alone or what what have you. A label shouldn't limit you. A label shouldn't be a trap or keeping you from happiness. I have considered cutting her off because I can't bear to look at her because of the amount of shame I feel. I'm not attracted to women at all. Not one bit.

[00:35:57]But I don't know what makes her specifically so special. Update. I'm a gay man, but I'm in love with one of my female friends. It's been a little over two weeks since I made my original post.

[00:36:06]That day after I made it, I decided to write down everything I've been going through in the form of a letter and give it to her. I was so nervous I threw up.

[00:36:14]But it ended up being all for not because I'm in a relationship now. Oh, it's the happy ending. Oh my god. That's what we need to round off a video like this. Yes. She said she could definitely notice how flustered I got whenever I talked to her. So besides how embarrassing that was, I have been living the life for the last while. I love this girl so much. I feel so magnetically attracted to her. The boyfriends I've had all describe me as a black cat. But when it comes to her, I am absolutely a golden retriever. I spend every day yearning that I could spend the entirety of it with her. I am always attached to her and I talk to her 24/7. I still haven't figured out what exactly my sexuality is, but I've decided to stop giving it so much thought. I just love her. Wonderful news. Love wins. Labels loose. Yeah, like I said, labels should be something to like communicate or feel community or not feeling alone or like when you're in the progress of figuring yourself out, you're like, "Oh, it could be this.

[00:37:05]Other people have also communicated.

[00:37:07]They are like this or that or you know it's a way to like have a broader conversation about it. But labels are also very simplified. You know, they don't include everything in a lot of things spectrum. You know, back in the olden days, you had gay and straight and that was it, you know, and nowadays you have so much more that describes so many more people, but it's still imperfect.

[00:37:28]It's still simplified, you know. Just think of it for example. Some people who are by they are 50% women, 50% men or whatever. And some people are like, oh 90% one thing. Or some people like you maybe are like 99% one thing. But then on rare occasions, someone comes along that just like tickles that specific fancy and you don't know exactly what and they fall outside of everything you thought you knew about yourself, but it just feels right. And that is the thing about humans. We are so incredibly complex and that makes us beautiful.

[00:37:58]Labels are supposed to be something to find others who might be similar to you, find community, fight for rights, all that kind of stuff. But a label should be something empowering and community building. It shouldn't be a limiter. Ah well lies lasses and lasses. I do hope you enjoyed this video as much as I enjoyed having you here you wonderful beautiful beans. And I will see you again in the very near future. Take care. Mwah.