Overcoming Fear

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-11

[00:00:00]You mentioned overcoming fears.

[00:00:02]And you mentioned another one to me at one point. I thought it'd be interesting to hear. But the point I really want to make is I like how you just very directly confronted fears. Like you just took you made that choice to really see what's on the other side of it. And I know other people have done that. And I think it's actually really valuable, especially for certain personality types because some people I interact with they have insight, they have willingness, they have and things.

[00:00:25]But there's something about fear they're just not It's almost like they're afraid of fear. Or there's the the just that human dimension of fear just being part of our experience. It's like avoid really avoid it. But you didn't and you purposely checked it out. Like for instance, your fear of heights. Do you remember telling me this?

[00:00:43]>> Oh, yes. I can tell you this story.

[00:00:45]Yeah, so yeah, I started to I started to look at fear and the slowing down of it. So yeah, so there was the fear of heights.

[00:00:54]But then there was the fear of feeling fear.

[00:00:58]So I'm like, wait a minute. Let's slow this down. Okay, I'm afraid of fear.

[00:01:02]So I'm creating fear so I don't feel fear. Like wait a minute. I'm doubling the fear. Like what is happening here?

[00:01:09]So then So I said, okay, let me sit with this. Let me sit with the fear of being afraid. So I sat with that.

[00:01:17]And I'm like, okay.

[00:01:18]What is fear?

[00:01:20]What is fear but a body sensation, right? Like it's it's tension and it's whatever. So then I started to look at So So the So the image I got was of a fire alarm or a smoke detector, right? So the fear response is there. So then So then as I was working with fear, there was the fear that I would get rid of the fear response. And it's like, well, then I'm not I'm going to be vulnerable, right? I'm never going to be afraid. And I said, okay, let's slow that fear down.

[00:01:55]Yes, if I was if somebody put me in a cage with a lion, that's perfectly understandable that I have fear. There's There is a biological a switch survival switch to not die. So So there's in the relative world, there is understandable fear. But what I'm talking about is fear of something like if I'm on a ladder and I'm perfectly safe, there's the fear there.

[00:02:19]So then I thought, okay. So if if the smoke detector is like my fear response every time the fear the smoke detector goes off, does that mean that there's a fire? And I'm like, actually, no. Like I've made toast so many times and that thing has gone off.

[00:02:35]So I'm like, okay. So but but the if it's going off, it That means it can go off when it when it's safe, right? Cuz it's not There's no fire when there's when when I'm making toast. So there can be I can be it's safe to feel fear. So that was the first That's where the first where I went.

[00:02:54]Just because there's fear doesn't mean that there's danger and it's safe to feel fear. So then I then I sat with that. Like what does it feel like to feel safe and feel fear? Then I started going out and confronting fears doing, you know, uh I rock climbing and and that sort of thing. And And what I would do is I would get up to a certain point and then I would feel the fear like really, oh my gosh, feel the fear. So I would stop and I'm like, okay, feel it in the body. I said, can I go two steps more?

[00:03:27]Can I just go two steps more? So it's it was training my nervous system to that that's not a stop. And it's funny because fear is the only emotion that will stop us in our tracks, right? Like Like Like it's Like if you have to do something you don't say to yourself, oh no, I can't do that because I'm feeling sad or I'm I can't do that because I'm feeling happy.

[00:03:50]But if you say, oh, I can't do that cuz I'm scared. And it's like, oh, okay, then I'm going to stop.

[00:03:55]But if you're scared then do it scared.

[00:04:00]Do it happy. Do it bored. Like It's just another emotion. It's just Do it scared.

[00:04:08]So that's how That's how I confronted it and and and and and and then really felt fear in the body and realized that it's safe to feel fear.

[00:04:19]You can be in a safe space and still feel the fear. And and for the other like the real phobias, the ones that I had, what helped too is when I was wasn't in the situation, I would go home and I would and I would talk to the fear as if it was a person. So that actually helped too because it I met I met it with love.

[00:04:44]So I said, okay.

[00:04:46]Fear I know you're being my friend. You want to protect me.

[00:04:51]Thank you.

[00:04:52]Like I like I appreciate you and I met it. This just like a little child that wants to like do something nice for you.

[00:04:59]They want to like make a cookie for you.

[00:05:01]And then you go into the kitchen and the kitchen's a disaster. It's a mess. And they're here with this little cookie and they're like, look what I made for you.

[00:05:07]And you're like, oh my god, there's like eggs all over the the floor. But so I saw I saw fear like that. Like Like it's making a mess, right? Like it's it's it's just wrecking with the nervous system and all of that. But it's like, look what I did for you. I'm trying to keep you safe. And So I So I met it with that kind of like innocence.

[00:05:26]And I said thank you to it and I met it and I said, but it's okay. We're safe.

[00:05:30]It's okay. You can You can be here when it's dangerous, but it's okay. You can step back. And it softened.

[00:05:38]softened. And so that Yeah, that was that's how I I went through the the different fears that I had. The Yeah, the dentist and the and the fear of heights. Yeah.

[00:05:47]Love that. Love it.