WHEN YOUR FRIENDS TRY TO HOOK YOU UP: Relationship advice goals & tips

Added: 2026-05-31

[00:00:00]Now, what if your friends are always trying to hook you up? What do you think about that? Let's talk about it. I pulled a short video. Let's watch this video.

[00:00:10]And then we have a letter. I'm going to dive right into this letter and talk about this issue.

[00:00:15]When your friends try to hook you up.

[00:00:19]Here we go.

[00:00:21]>> I love my friends. They want to see me happy and they want to see me in a relationship so badly and I want that too, but I'm not pressed. And in the midst of them wanting that, I feel like they try to hook me up with people or tell me about somebody they know and all that. And I just know that I'm just not the type for it. I've tried to be open-minded about it. I have. I really have tried. But the minute a [ __ ] take too long to think about wanting to take me out or too long to respond, I'm just no longer interested. It's like you have lost my attention. And I don't know if that's a red flag or not. I'm just like I'm at a point where I'm not having no more of my time being wasted. If you're not interested and you're not 100% sure about it, don't have at it. So, I just know and when I meet somebody, it has to be organic. It can't be a hookup. It can't be because somebody introduced me and whatever. It has to be natural. It has to be organic because I'm just that type.

[00:01:09]>> All right, we have a letter. So, let's dive right into this letter and see what she says.

[00:01:16]I wanted some insight on why people would have the audacity to think that I need to be in a relationship.

[00:01:24]I never told anyone that I was interested in seeing someone.

[00:01:29]I am happy being alone.

[00:01:33]But apparently, it upsets people.

[00:01:36]When I was in high school and early 20s, it's when people tried to fix me up with this nice guy that I knew.

[00:01:46]I was asked what I liked in a guy and they would find someone that they considered to be nice and funny.

[00:01:56]And when I was introduced to this person, I was not interested in them or found them attractive.

[00:02:05]They would get mad at me and say things like, "You said you liked the guy and that he was nice and funny." Well, you know what? You're not obligated to your friends just because they introduced you to somebody.

[00:02:18]And uh you know, a friends will introduce you to people because if they are with somebody, they want their friend to be with somebody, you know, so you can double date, that kind of thing, so you can hang out together because couples really don't prefer to hang out with single people.

[00:02:38]Okay, so that's what that is. They want you to be with somebody if they are with somebody.

[00:02:43]Okay, let's see.

[00:02:45]I found out from him how he got my number. And when I approached my friend, she said that she thought that things would work out between us. It makes me wonder if she is getting back at me for not going out with the first guy she was trying to fix me up with.

[00:03:04]When I was 25, I went through my first divorce.

[00:03:10]When I was 25, I went through my first divorce, but I didn't have kids with my first husband.

[00:03:16]I became friends with an older woman.

[00:03:20]She had a daughter about my age that was a lawyer and had a son. She was trying to fix me up with this nice guy she knew but never fixed him up with her daughter. Oh, she Oh, this friend was trying to fix you up but wasn't trying to fix her daughter up because she's not looking to hang out with her daughter, she's looking to hang out with you.

[00:03:45]Okay, that's what I see.

[00:03:49]I did meet the guy and he was nice. But I didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. Another occasion I went to a baby shower and again, I was single and the guy that was at the shower was single. People were trying to pressure us into being together. And they were mad that I refused to be with the guy.

[00:04:12]Again, where do people find the audacity to think they know better what is good for me?

[00:04:20]I don't know.

[00:04:22]I I don't know why you are attracting this kind of attention.

[00:04:28]Now, you let me see.

[00:04:30]All right, let's go on because um you started in your you you started out telling me about when you were in your 20s. So, let's let's see what's going on here.

[00:04:44]Now that I'm in my 50s, I had this one friend in her 60s to tell me one time about how she invited me over to her house for Thanksgiving back in 2024.

[00:04:59]Back then I didn't have a car and I carpooled with a mutual friend of ours.

[00:05:05]She also invited this man that was a widower. But for some reason, he never went. I found out in January of this year that she and her husband were talking about how funny it would be if I ended up dating this widower. Well, yeah, because, you know, couples like to hang out with other couples. They they like you and they want you to be in their circle. But to do that, they figure you need a mate.

[00:05:39]So, that's why it is. You understand?

[00:05:41]That's why they're trying to hook you up.

[00:05:45]Then she proceeded to say it was a joke, and by the way, he never went to her house.

[00:05:51]I was surprised by this. But, she is noisy and likes to gossip about people. Well, so what are you saying? That it was a setup?

[00:06:03]That she was just trying to set you up for something to talk about?

[00:06:07]Could be. You know, I don't know. Could be.

[00:06:11]Back in February, she and another woman came to my house.

[00:06:16]She proceeds to tell the other woman about something I said to her in confidence. I called her out on it and told her she had no right saying anything to this woman. She does not want to take responsibility for what she did. I ended the friendship in February, and she tried to guilt trip me into still being friends with her and blame me for what she did.

[00:06:43]I have people tell me that they know I am lonely, and when I'm not, people can't seem to understand why I am alone and pursuing my goals, minding my business.

[00:06:56]You see, let me tell you what this is.

[00:07:01]This is crabs in a bucket.

[00:07:03]You see, uh people feel uncomfortable when you step outside of who they know you to be or who they want you to be. Now, these people want to see you hooked up with somebody so you can be in misery like them.

[00:07:22]You see, they they don't believe that you can be happy by yourself.

[00:07:27]And you can be deliriously happy by yourself, people. You don't need to hook up with somebody. Now, uh your friends, they think they're doing a good thing trying to hook you up. You understand? Because there's so many women out here looking for mates. So they figure, well, why you not looking for nobody? Let me just try to hook you up.

[00:07:52]You understand? But you can be very happy alone. Do not let people make you feel any kind of way or whatever. But from what I see, what I see from your letter is that these particular friends want you to be hooked up so you know, it'll be couples together.

[00:08:13]They like you. They Whoever they want to hook you up with, it can be couples together. You all can hang out together.

[00:08:19]And there's a lot of couples that do that. You don't find single women trying to hook you up cuz they're trying to hook themselves up.

[00:08:27]You understand? Usually these women are already in a relationship.

[00:08:32]And not saying that their relationship is all that good.

[00:08:35]But they figure it's better than being alone.

[00:08:39]And many of these people have a fear of being alone. That's why they're looking at you with concern. How can you be happy living by yourself when really you are content and you are peaceful.

[00:08:55]So, continue what you're doing. Don't listen to other people because they cannot make right decisions for you. Only you can. I hope you understand the message today.

[00:09:08]And I really hope that it helps someone.

[00:09:10]Now, those of you who may have a question that you'd like for me to answer, my email address is in the description.

[00:09:17]I want to thank you so much for supporting this channel. Thank you for your comments and your letters. And a very special thank you to those that leave a donation. I appreciate all of you. I wish you all the very best and happiness.

[00:09:34]And I really hope to see you next time.