Understanding Autism

Added: 2026-05-15

[00:00:27]Find you. Heat. Heat.

[00:01:06]Born and raised in a lone star land with boots on my feet and dreams in my hand.

[00:01:11]A little sassy but a whole lot of grace.

[00:01:13]You'll see that fire when you look at my face.

[00:01:17]I'm a Texas girl with a heart. So why family and friends always by my side from the crack of dawn to the stars at night. I keep it real. Keep my soul burning bright.

[00:01:33]Barbecue smoke Friday night lights.

[00:01:35]Cheering for the astros under Texas skies a little bit stubborn. A whole lot of charm. This big old heart will keep you warm. I'm a Texas girl with a heart so I family and friends always by my side. From the crack of dawn to the stars at night, I keep it real. Keep my soul burning bright.

[00:01:58]Barbecue smoke, Friday night lights, cheering for the Astros under Texas skies. A little bit stubborn, a whole lot of charm. This big old heart will keep you warm. I'm a Texas girl with a heart so wide. Family and friends always by my side. From the crack of dawn to the stars at night, I keep it real. Keep my soul burning bright.

[00:02:23]From the blue bonnet fields to the city streets, every step I take feels like home to me. With a little sass and a lot of pride, this Texas girl's got nothing to hide.

[00:02:35]I'm a Texas girl with a heart so wide.

[00:02:38]Family and friends always by my side.

[00:02:40]From the crack of dawn to the stars at night, I keep it real. Keep my soul burned by you.

[00:03:19]Candy coated sl.

[00:03:23]Magnifying glasses in the neon light.

[00:03:27]Bubblegum brains cracking every clue.

[00:03:30]True crime lollipops coming after you.

[00:03:34]Pop on the mysteries lock.

[00:03:38]Sweet detectives ticking like a clock.

[00:03:42]With sugar and grit, they won't stop.

[00:03:46]True crime lollipops going to make it rock.

[00:03:51]Gummy shoe prints lead them down the street. Chocolate rappers hiding secret sweet. They don't miss a beat, they've got a knack with licorice ropes pulling answers back. Twist the rapper to reveal the truth. A sticky web spun by a candy.

[00:04:14]No sour lies escape the grip. These lollipops all Sebastian, sweet boy, where have you gone?

[00:04:39]The sun sets low, but we keep marching on.

[00:04:45]The wind whispers your name soft through the pines.

[00:04:51]A melody aching in these hearts of mine.

[00:04:58]Roads are endless.

[00:05:01]The nights are cold.

[00:05:05]But your stories are light. We'll never let go.

[00:05:11]Where are you, sweet boy Sebastian?

[00:05:15]We're searching the hills, the rivers, the plains. You deserve better. You deserve better and your army is fight heartache and pain.

[00:05:28]Your laughter once right like bells through the air.

[00:05:34]Now silence just lingers.

[00:05:38]It's more than we can bear.

[00:05:41]We carry your memory. A flag in our hands. Through shadows and valleys, through shifting sand.

[00:05:54]The roads are endless. The nights are cold. But your stories are light. We'll never let go. Where are you, sweet boy Sebastian?

[00:06:03]We're searching the hills, the rivers, the plains. You deserve better. Oh, you deserve better. And your army is fighting through heartache and pain.

[00:06:13]Your laughter once rain through heartache and pain.

[00:07:03]Hey, I'm sorry it wouldn't unmute my mic. So sorry, guys. I hope everybody's doing good today.

[00:07:15]Thanks for coming and hanging out with me. I appreciate y'all.

[00:07:21]Happy Tuesday everybody.

[00:07:25]Let's see. Hello Linda. How are you doing?

[00:07:29]Hi brown eyes.

[00:07:32]Hi DJ.

[00:07:34]Cecilia.

[00:07:37]Hello. Hello.

[00:07:40]Hi Dan.

[00:07:43]TJ. Hello.

[00:07:47]Hello. Hello. Hey Miss Rhonda. It's always so good to see you in chat.

[00:07:53]Brenda Sue, how you doing?

[00:07:58]Let's see. Pecky, hello.

[00:08:06]See if we got anybody else sneaking in here. Hey, Teresa.

[00:08:12]Lookie here. Got a secret candy keeps.

[00:08:16]Been a member for eight months. Thank you so much. And hello to you, beautiful.

[00:08:25]Let's see who else we got with us. Lisa King, hello to you.

[00:08:34]Hang on. It wanted to freeze up for a minute. There we go. Hey Laura, how you doing? Cinderelli, good to see you.

[00:08:48]Can y'all hear the birds are chirping?

[00:08:50]I'm out on the deck today. It's a beautiful day today.

[00:08:57]Let's see if we got anybody else.

[00:09:05]We got the birds to sing to us today.

[00:09:10]Aloha, my friend. How are you doing?

[00:09:18]Mama, good to see you. Thank you all for being here. I appreciate y'all so so much.

[00:09:27]So, hope everybody's had a good day.

[00:09:31]We finally had two days in a row with no rain.

[00:09:38]We got birds today. I'm out on the deck and they're up in the trees and they're just a singing.

[00:09:49]Lisa said, "The birds make me feel right at home." Well, good deal.

[00:09:53]Good deal.

[00:09:57]Oh, I hope y'all enjoyed yesterday's live that we did with Rich calling in. I hope everybody got to see that. We learned some really good information and you know he was a able to give us his opinion on some things and so I hope y'all enjoyed that. Next week we'll have him come back on and we'll do a callin. You can call in and ask him yourself your questions if y'all want to do that.

[00:10:39]Oh, she feeds them. A I wish there was a bird feeder here, but there's not. I might get one and hang it up.

[00:10:51]There is a red cardinal that lives right here around us.

[00:10:58]You watched it this morning, Teresa.

[00:11:00]Good deal. I hope you enjoyed it. Y'all need rain. Oh my goodness. We need to dry out for a while. It looks like we're going to make it all the way till Sunday with no rain. Yay.

[00:11:15]Zea has sure enjoyed herself.

[00:11:19]She um Zea, hang on, guys. She got off the deck.

[00:11:30]Z viva.

[00:11:48]I hear her. She's sneaking over here like she wasn't even missing.

[00:11:54]Hey, April. Hi, Vanilla. Y'all come on in.

[00:11:58]Don't mind me yelling at my dog.

[00:12:10]Za, you get lay down. You stay on this deck.

[00:12:21]Thank you.

[00:12:24]I don't know if y'all can hear her trotting along.

[00:12:27]Hey, seclusion.

[00:12:31]Oh, she's a mess. We've been going on golf cart rides. I'll take her down by the lake. There's this big grassy area down there. She gets off and she runs and plays.

[00:12:42]I'll drive around on the golf cart and she just chases beside me. That's her exercise for the day.

[00:12:52]So anyways, thank you all for coming in, hanging out with us today. I appreciate everybody.

[00:13:01]If y'all don't mind, hit that like button.

[00:13:04]I would greatly appreciate it.

[00:13:09]Today's topic, understanding autism.

[00:13:14]You know, we talk a lot about Sebastian.

[00:13:17]We talk about Katie and Curtis and the things they've said and done. We've listened to his father tell us a lot about who Sebastian is as a person and everything.

[00:13:28]We know that Sebastian had autism.

[00:13:32]He had a chromosome deletion and understanding autism can be very confusing because every child is different. Every person that has autism has different things that sets them off.

[00:13:59]And so I thought today would be a good thing to to go over and cover. And I found a new channel that I wanted to share some things with you because after I watched these videos, my mind was just reeling at the fact that this man is married to a girl who has autism and little traits and things that she does.

[00:14:32]It it at first I was like, is this an act? But the more I dug into his videos and listened, it's not an act. Not at all.

[00:14:46]And it's little quirks that she has that she does that makes it to where I started looking at things a little differently. And I was like, man, I'm going to share this with you guys and we're going to talk about this.

[00:15:09]Maybe it could help us to understand more about Sebastian and about life with Sebastian, how it possibly could have been this article. Let me share this with you. I'm going to show you and all I did was Google autistic traits, right?

[00:15:39]And so we're going to look at this first.

[00:15:46]Autistic traits involve differences in social secu communication, sensory processing, behavioral patterns, often appearing as intense interests, a need for routine, and challenges interpreting social cues or emotions.

[00:16:11]This is important. These traits vary.

[00:16:15]They're on a spectrum dependent on what level of the spectrum a child is as to what type of issues they have. Right?

[00:16:31]It may include stemming, repetitive motion. Like you see a lot of kids that just rock back and forth.

[00:16:43]Sensory sensitivity. We've talked about this a lot because Sebastian didn't like to go outside without his shoes is what his father tells us. His mother tells us a whole different story.

[00:17:01]But a lot of kids are very sensitive to the touch. My granddaughter does not like to wear blue jeans. It takes a lot for her to to dig deep inside of herself to put on a pair of blue jeans because she doesn't like the way they feel.

[00:17:23]They have distinct communication styles which can present differently in children, adults, women and men.

[00:17:33]If you look at the these key traits and characteristics here, social interaction and communication, difficulty with back and forth conversation or understanding social rules, taking language literally, struggling with sarcasm and idioms, reduced or intense eye contact, It's either they don't make eye contact or they stare at you.

[00:18:11]Challenges recognizing emotions or reading body language.

[00:18:16]Preferring to be alone or struggling to make friends.

[00:18:23]Strong need for routine and structure.

[00:18:29]anxiety if things the plans change.

[00:18:35]Stmming is self-regulatory behavior such as hand flapping, rocking or spinning.

[00:18:45]Intense, highly focused interest in specific subjects.

[00:18:53]Repetitive actions or intense focus on detail.

[00:18:58]Sensory processing over or under sensitivity to light, sound, smell, or texture.

[00:19:12]Overwhelmed in noisy or crowded environments.

[00:19:18]Reduced sensitivity to pain or temperature.

[00:19:26]That one really stuck out to me because they have a very high pain tolerance.

[00:19:34]Basically, it takes a whole lot for them to actually hurt.

[00:19:41]Common traits in adults. Masking.

[00:19:45]Hiding autistic traits to fit in which can cause exhaustion or mental health challenges.

[00:19:52]Awkwardness in social social scenarios or conversely being highly adept at copying social behaviors.

[00:20:05]Common traits in children. delayed language or social milestones, lining up toys or specific patterns.

[00:20:19]This part right here, what is masking?

[00:20:22]Many autistic people, particularly women, may mask their traits to conform to social expectations, which can lead to late diagnosis and high levels of stress or anxiety.

[00:20:42]So reading those gives us an understanding of everyday life for a person who has autism.

[00:20:57]And yet a lot of people go undiagnosed.

[00:21:02]Sebastian didn't get diagnosed till just a couple years before he went missing.

[00:21:11]And it's sad. It is so very sad. There's adults out there that have told me I honestly believe I'm on the spectrum, but a doctor's never told me that.

[00:21:29]So to help us understand this channel, Dr. Cojo Saffro, he has a touch of autism. His is on the low level. his wife.

[00:21:52]When I saw the video, I seriously guys thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, is this At first I was like, God, is this just an acting out video where they're portraying these things?

[00:22:12]There's a video where he talks about he didn't want to exploit his wife, but he wanted to use her to help others understand that have to live with parent a person with autism.

[00:22:38]Teresa said, "My daughter is being tested at the moment for ADD. She's 33."

[00:22:44]Yes, my son was what, 20 four?

[00:22:51]23 or 24 when the doctor definitely told him that he was very ADHD.

[00:23:03]He couldn't sit still.

[00:23:06]it just wasn't possible. His mind never stopped.

[00:23:12]Um, after Lai said all that, I think my 24 year granddaughter is autistic. That would explain a lot of things about her.

[00:23:19]And that's the thing, a lot. And he I'm telling you, his link to his channel is listed in this description.

[00:23:27]When you have time, if you have questions, you want to look more into it, watch his videos.

[00:23:37]He does a lot of talking. He is a doctor that deals with autism.

[00:23:45]We're going to watch this a couple of the short videos. And when you see his wife, you think, "Oh my god, she's a beautiful normal woman.

[00:23:58]But there's little things, little things.

[00:24:05]And when she feels like she's put in the spotlight, when he asks her a question about where's my keys, she freezes up and she can't say anything.

[00:24:21]And he explained that she allows her mind or her mind allows itself to go in overdrive and it's too much.

[00:24:36]And so I want to show a few of these short videos of his and then we're going to listen to one about making friends, being friends with people. So, let's start with this one here because they are at a ball game and we're going to watch this. They're at a baseball game and you can see her how she reacts.

[00:25:15]>> I got to go.

[00:25:16]>> Where? your attention, please.

[00:25:21]>> I don't know. Home or something.

[00:25:23]>> There's one more inning.

[00:25:26]>> One more inning. Can you make it?

[00:25:30]>> It's so loud. There's so many.

[00:25:43]>> Can you make it?

[00:25:46]Sorry, I don't know what's going on.

[00:25:50]We'll >> leave now if you want to, but there's one more.

[00:25:58]>> I'll let you make the call. If you can make it, we'll watch. If not, we'll leave.

[00:26:03]>> We can stay. We can stay. We can stay.

[00:26:09]What we say?

[00:26:14]>> Luckily, we parked right by the exit.

[00:26:16]So, we're in the first car. You can get out easily.

[00:26:19]>> Are you sure?

[00:26:24]There's three more out.

[00:26:30]>> I appreciate it. Thank you very much.

[00:26:33]Let's go Dodgers.

[00:26:38]I gotta go.

[00:26:40]>> Okay, let me go back because I want to show y'all a couple more.

[00:26:44]>> We're going to go back. I want to show you a couple more. But that just shows you how the noises and the lights and the things like that are so hard sometimes for them to deal with.

[00:26:57]She's just a beautiful person.

[00:27:02]Let's watch this.

[00:27:06]Babe, what's going on? Is everything okay?

[00:27:10]>> Yeah, just trying to make dinner. I can't I can't find anything that I need.

[00:27:18]>> Are you cooking something?

[00:27:20]>> Yeah, I I put the the leftover pizza in there from last night.

[00:27:24]>> Babe, you can't put the You got to put the pizza in there. You can't put the whole thing That sound is crazy.

[00:27:38]Uh, a pizza is done for.

[00:27:42]>> I'm sorry.

[00:27:42]>> No, you're good. You're good. You sound >> Oh, god. What are we going to do for dinner now? I mean, I ruined our leftovers.

[00:27:50]>> Okay.

[00:27:50]>> I don't know what we have. We >> sound off grocery shop.

[00:27:55]>> Um, I'll I'll just order something. All right.

[00:28:05]What do you want to eat tonight?

[00:28:08]>> I really wanted pizza.

[00:28:10]We can just Door Dash pizza. It's all good. Come here.

[00:28:20]This works.

[00:28:22]>> Yeah.

[00:28:25]>> All right.

[00:28:28]You're good. You're good. You're good.

[00:28:30]Just if you need help or anything, let me know. All right.

[00:28:32]>> Okay.

[00:28:33]>> All right. We'll leave the door open for just a little bit.

[00:28:36]>> Yeah. I'm actually I think I'm going to go get some fresh air, actually.

[00:28:40]>> Okay.

[00:28:52]>> Confusion, thinking something's okay to do when it's really not okay to do. And there's another one I wanted to show you where she just freezes up where he talked about the fact that she couldn't speak when she gets put on the spot and it throws her off.

[00:29:21]Let's see. She's sitting on the couch.

[00:29:24]Let me see if we can find it. I should had all these pulled up. I'm sorry.

[00:29:39]Hold on.

[00:29:44]And he's a doctor. He w works with autism. He specializes in autism and everything.

[00:29:55]Let's see here.

[00:30:00]and he started filming her at different times to show the different ways she handles things, her thought process and all of it.

[00:30:14]This is a super super great channel when you want to understand autism. I highly recommend you go and watch some of these.

[00:30:28]Where is it?

[00:30:32]She's a beautiful girl and he is so patient with her.

[00:30:39]So, so patient. And their fist bump is part of letting her know it's all okay.

[00:30:50]So, let me see. Maybe I passed it up.

[00:30:58]Let me see.

[00:31:02]Hang on. We're going to find it because it shows her completely just freeze.

[00:31:15]Let's see. I think it was up here though. I think I missed it somewhere.

[00:31:25]Hang tight. We're gonna make this.

[00:31:29]There's lots of shorts that he does.

[00:31:43]Let's watch this one. This was another good one.

[00:31:48]>> Autism and women.

[00:31:54]name and date of birth, please.

[00:32:00]>> I'm calling from Cedars. I just need you to confirm your name and date of birth.

[00:32:03]You're scheduled for a C-section today.

[00:32:09]>> See how she >> Yeah. Hello. Hey, how are you?

[00:32:14]>> Hi. Hi. Who am I speaking to?

[00:32:16]>> Uh, this is um her husband, Cojo.

[00:32:20]I just need you to confirm your wife's name and date of birth. Um, she's scheduled for a C-section today.

[00:32:26]>> Okay.

[00:32:26]>> I just need to confirm.

[00:32:27]>> My goodness. Uh, last name, Saro. Day of birth should be 11498.

[00:32:34]>> You see it there?

[00:32:34]>> Perfect.

[00:32:35]>> Yes.

[00:32:36]>> Okay.

[00:32:36]>> She She's coming up. Okay. You guys are scheduled for a C-section today at 2.

[00:32:41]Um, are you guys on your way?

[00:32:43]>> Uh, we're not on our way, but we're about to be. We'll be there in less than 25 minutes. We won't speed though.

[00:32:51]>> Okay, that that's fine.

[00:32:54]>> Okay, >> we'll see you then.

[00:32:55]>> All right, thank you so much.

[00:32:56]>> All right, have a good one.

[00:32:58]>> Bye.

[00:33:02]>> Did you see how her being put on the spot, it just made her freeze.

[00:33:15]made her freeze up.

[00:33:19]I couldn't imagine living life like that.

[00:33:23]It's crazy to me.

[00:33:27]Um, let's see. I'm not sure what happened.

[00:33:31]Oh, there it is. It was And there was another video short that he did where he was like, "Hey, babe. I can't find my keys. Do you know where my keys are?"

[00:33:42]She reaches uh over to the coffee table and he's in kind of starting to get in a panic and she just looks at his keys and you can see this frightening look on her face and she's just holding his keys.

[00:33:57]But that's part of the traits that she has.

[00:34:01]And he gets the keys and he tells her it's all good. And they fist bump.

[00:34:07]And she said, "Okay, everybody's different. It is crazy."

[00:34:15]There's one video he does and I'm going to play that for y'all to listen to here in just a second.

[00:34:22]But we heard about Sebastian.

[00:34:25]You know, when we first heard about Sebastian, we were hearing from his mother and his father. They tell us this little story about how Sebastian has no friends. All he wanted for his birthday and for Christmas were friends.

[00:34:44]We later come to learn that he did have friends at school. He didn't get to socialize outside of school, but he had friends. He had people he talked to.

[00:35:00]He was a happy kid, and people understood him and knew who he was, and they talked to him at school.

[00:35:14]This video that he the doctor does explains autism and friendship and why it is so hard for a person with autism to make friends. I think you'll find this one very interesting.

[00:35:33]Let's watch this.

[00:35:41]Here we go.

[00:35:43]And all of this is being used under the copyright act, by the way.

[00:36:19]Hold on. Let's go back.

[00:36:24]I don't know why it jumped so far ahead.

[00:39:42]Hold on. Can y'all not hear?

[00:39:46]Y'all don't see it.

[00:39:49]Hold on.

[00:39:57]Did y'all hear any of that?

[00:40:02]Okay, hold on.

[00:40:04]Let me back it up. I'm sorry.

[00:40:09]It didn't share. I don't know what happened.

[00:40:16]Okay, let's share screen again.

[00:40:32]Thank you, Holly.

[00:40:39]Can y'all hear me at all?

[00:40:46]Can y'all not hear me?

[00:41:08]Okay, thank y'all. Hey everybody coming in. Okay, good, good, good, good. Okay, this is where he's going to talk about friendship. It's on the screen. It's going to share. Let's hope it sticks there. Thanks, TJ.

[00:41:27]And like I said, keep in mind Sebastian about all of these characteristics and these traits. We saw him walk into Texas Roadhouse. He's holding his ears. It reminded me of her sitting at that ball game while ago.

[00:41:49]Over stimulation of noise and sound.

[00:41:53]Although there was no one standing outside of Texas Roadhouse. They all moved away when they arrived.

[00:42:03]But he held his ears and made a straight line to that door. His dad tells us he had friends at school.

[00:42:14]His mom and his stepdaddy say he just wanted friends for his birthday and Christmas.

[00:42:22]It's just insane.

[00:42:26]But listen to him explain why it's so hard for autistic children to make friends. Here we go. Let's listen.

[00:42:48]>> Autism and friendship, why we struggle to connect. So, when it comes to friendship, y'all, >> thank you, Holly.

[00:42:53]>> I think it's hard for most adults to make friends, especially today. We have all the social media, but for some reason, we still feel so disconnected.

[00:43:02]Now, if you throw autism into the equation, I think it becomes that much more difficult to connect with people.

[00:43:08]So, in this video, I'm going to talk about three things that can make it hard for an autistic person to connect with other people. And hopefully after watching, you have some more insight and hopefully this information helps you make friends or it just makes you feel better about your situation and the friends that you do have. So, first things first, it can be confusing when you're autistic to talk to people because you may not know what they're saying. And likewise, they may not know what you're saying. And I'm not talking about y'all speaking in different languages. But when you're autistic, it's important to know that the way that you communicate and the way that you experience the world is different from other people. So, because of this, you have to get some type of external support.

[00:43:49]>> Hey, Vanilla. I I thought I said hello to you when you first came in. If I didn't, I'm sorry.

[00:43:55]but I thought I did. And hello, Holly and Kiki and everybody else that's joining us. Thank y'all for being here.

[00:44:05]Let's finish listening to this. He really goes into a good description, an example of why it's so hard for kids with autism to make friends.

[00:44:16]whether it's parents or speech therapy or anything that you can get to help you understand the world this neuros world a little bit better it can be helpful. So when you're talking to somebody you may not know what they're talking about and likewise they may not know what you're talking about. All right so autism is a spectrum. So this is not one way that all autistic people present but you have to know that autism is a spectrum. So, there's different ways that autistic people communicate. So, let's say I'm talking to you and you are an autistic person that's trying to befriend me. All right? Let's say you are trying to relate to something that I'm telling you. All right? I'm telling you a story about myself and I tell you this story and I expect for you to reciprocate that by validating my story. You may not know what to do in that situation and you may tell me a story about yourself in order to connect with me depending on where my head space is at. I could take this as this is somebody who's selfish. I'm trying to tell you about my story and all of a sudden you make it about yourself. Whereas that person, the autistic person is just trying to connect. They're not trying to take away from my story. My story is important and it matters. But in their brains, the way to connect is by sharing a personal story about their experiences in the past. This is just one example as to how confusing conversations can be, especially with a stranger because you know that in the past if you're autistic, people have wanted different things for you in conversation. And we learn what we're supposed to say because sometimes we'll say things and people will give us weird looks and then we'll learn that we shouldn't be saying nothing. And it's not like you're saying a bad word, but you might be sharing an experience or you might be talking passionately about something that you really are interested in and people look at you like you're crazy. Then you'll learn that you have to suppress that side of you. So you have two options in that situation. You can either put out the real version of yourself and understand that there's a good chance that people may not connect with you off that real version of yourself versus masking and putting out a contrived version of yourself. You're putting out a fake version, but is a version that you have created for people to like you.

[00:46:35]And now you're able to connect with people, but now you're not being true to yourself. So, conversations can be kind of iffy because you're not sure what to really tell people. Do I show up as myself or do I show up as who you think that I am?

[00:46:51]Well, that's masking. And it's not something that you want to do for long periods of time. But I do understand that we mask in social situations, especially at work or at school or sometimes in relationships. But if you are somebody who masks, be nice to yourself cuz you've learned how to do this your whole life. So likewise, give yourself time to learn how to unmask if that's something that you feel very passionate.

[00:47:18]>> Brown eyes, I hope you're still listening, sweetheart. I hope you're okay.

[00:47:25]Email me if you need to. I'm always here for you. I just want you to know that.

[00:47:32]I hope you're doing you and the little one are doing well.

[00:47:39]just know that we love you >> about doing. And for my second talking point as to why friendship can be so difficult for autistic people is because in this world we have social rules that nobody explains and in my opinion I didn't put these in any particular order but in my opinion this is one of the biggest reasons why autistic people struggle to connect. In fact, this is probably the biggest reason why autistic people struggle to connect. It's these social rules that nobody has explained because what do you mean I'm not supposed to talk for that long? I'm supposed to let other people talk and then I talk some more.

[00:48:21]Who creates these social rules? For some reason, we're supposed to know how these social rules are from the jump. How long is it for me to be talking or like when do I let you talk or do I let you finish your whole thought? Do I interject? It's very confusing. When to text back, is it okay if I send three paragraphs back to back to back or am I annoying you? These are all social rules that we are expected to know when to joke with somebody or when not to joke with somebody. Who knows?

[00:48:55]And if I joke with you and you are offended, can I joke again? Or am I done joking with you? If you're offended, I'm not going to ever say another thing that's potentially a joke or do you want me to joke again, but not joke about that particular thing.

[00:49:10]These are all very difficult things. So, not knowing when to joke or when to joke about, not knowing when to talk or when to stop talking, and not knowing when to text back or how many times to text in a row. These are all social rules that nobody explains to you. And when you're autistic, you learn this stuff the hard way. You learn the hard way because there'll be moments where you text somebody and you're texting too much in their opinion. So, because you've texted them and in their opinion, you've blown up their phone. Now, they don't want to be friends with you because they may feel as if you're overbearing, but you're just really excited about the Lakers game or you're really excited about this new documentary that you watched and you really want to tell this person about what you watched, but they feel like you're just too much because you texted so many times in a row. So these social rules that nobody has explained to you are one of the biggest reasons why autistic individuals struggle to connect in friendships because who was going to tell you these things? And if you do learn these social rules and you know that this is how you're supposed to act in this situation and this is not how you're supposed to operate in another situation, there's a good chance that you could doctor certain situations and manipulate things to where you can make friends, but probably will involve some asking and you'll be talking about things that don't really matter to you. And you may be texting in ways that are not native to how you normally text, but you do these things because you want friends.

[00:50:45]So once again, it begs the question, do I keep doing this so that way I can have friends or can I revert back to being who I actually am? So it was almost like we don't have a really good choice because we have loneliness on this hand and here we have friendship, but the friendship comes with me having to be not true to myself. Kind of like a catch 22, right? And for my last talking point, we're going to talk about the social battery. When you're autistic, your social battery will drain faster than it will for other people who are not on the spectrum. People who aren't neurode divergent because they don't have to mask as much. They know to come through the party and they know what to talk about. They know what type of things to say and they're doing it without having to think about it. you are talking about the same things and you know what to say, but you're having to think about these things. So, it's draining your energy. It's sapping all the energy out of you. And because your social battery drains quicker, you may not have the energy to stay out for long. And if this is how you connect with people, you go out to the bar, you go out to the gym, you go out to the party, you go out to the dance, but you come home an hour later, you don't have a lot of time to talk to people.

[00:52:03]And there's only so much that we can do in a limited amount of time outside of the house. And I always encourage anybody who is struggling to connect with people to get outside of the house because outside of the house is where the magic happens. Leaving your house, leaving these four walls and going outside and talking to people, that's where the magic happens. However, if you have the social battery that doesn't allow you to be out for that long, you're going to want to come right back home. And I hope that when you go out and you drive yourself or you have a way to get back home because once your social battery runs out, there's not much we can say. We're tired. It's over with. We got to go home. It's It's just too much. It's way too much. And having a social battery that runs out faster than most people is probably going to keep you from making all the connections that you can make. Now, I'm not saying that you should go out to every single event to stay out for as long as as you can, but if there are opportunities where you're out with somebody and you really really enjoy the conversation that you're having or you can realize that the social battery is just starting to go low on us, I think it could be helpful to let somebody know that you want to be their friend and that you really enjoy this kind, but you're a little tired and you want to go home. And if you can be honest, it's better because now you're not masking.

[00:53:36]Even even if you mask that whole party or this whole event, but you let the person know that you're tired and you're going to go home, but you would love to come and hang out again, then you're giving this person an authentic look into your life. They know that once you're done, we're going home. And I have a lot of friends like this. And I do believe that the majority of my friends, if not all, are neurode divergent because neurody divergent people hang together and we roll around in packs kind of like wolves because we all speak the same language.

[00:54:07]So if I'm hanging out with the guys, if I'm hanging out with David, Kevin, or Big Mike, or Andrew, I can always say, "Hey, I'm tired. I'm going to go home now, or I'll catch y'all on the PlayStation later on." or we could be playing PlayStation and maybe one of our other buddies would have joined the party and I say, "Oh, yo, man, I hate that you came on so late. I'm having a a good time, but I'm not going to lie to you. I'm tired. Today was long. I'll catch y'all boys later. We'll hop back on the games maybe next weekend or maybe in a couple of weeks cuz people are busy. They have kids, so on and so forth. But I'll see y'all later." And they're perfectly okay with that. And if one of them has to leave, you don't know somebody and you're trying to connect, but you don't have the social battery to stay out for long.

[00:54:59]It can be very difficult to connect with people and to make friends. Uh, and this is one of the reasons why I do believe that autistic people struggle in these situations and you may have to stay out a little longer than you would like to to meet more people.

[00:55:15]And sometimes you'll play that game where you'll stay out longer than you really want to just become more people and increase the likelihood that you'll make some friends. And that's fine. I think that every now and then you can do that, but it's not sustainable. We can't always stay out super long at events trying to connect with people because once our social battery dies, it's gone.

[00:55:37]No joke is funny. Nothing is exciting.

[00:55:41]You're no longer having fun. You're not enjoying. In fact, the only way to enjoy anything from this moment moving forward is to go home and to get in the bed and to to be with your dog and just relax.

[00:55:53]So, those are a couple of reasons as to why I think that autistic individuals can struggle um to to connect with people. And I do know that we are all having a hard time making friends in general, autism or not. So, I've said this before and I'll say it again. If you have one good friend, one person you can count on, one high character individual that has your back, you're doing a great job. If you have one friend in this lifetime, they don't have to question where you stand with them.

[00:56:24]Yeah, you're doing you're doing pretty all right. I think you're doing a fantastic job. So, don't be too hard on yourself if you don't have that one friend. And just know that there are other other ways to connect. We have the internet now, which is a great way to meet people. And we do have communities on the internet where it's neurody divergent friendly. I do my best to curate that and to create a safe space to where we can be ourselves. Uh and there are other online communities where you can connect with people who have similar experiences. So don't just think that you have to hang out with the people in your town. If you are in Omaha, Nebraska, and you feel like there's nobody in Omaha who gets you, well, instead of driving over to Lincoln or going to Kansas City, you can you can go online. you may find your people there.

[00:57:08]So, just keep your head up and know that there are people out there that are waiting to love you. And sometimes we have to put in the work and get a little uncomfortable to find these people, but I do believe that there are people out there that are ready to to love on you and to be your friends. So, I hope this video was helpful. Uh, use the comment section to let me know what what else y'all want to see and and what you want to hear about or what you want me to talk about or whether you want me to turn something into a skit. just let me know cuz I'm vibing with y'all and I'm having a good time and and y'all are my friends. So until next video, thank you.

[00:57:56]There we go. I hope y'all enjoyed that.

[00:58:01]I hope that was informative for you guys to understand a little bit more.

[00:58:11]>> Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[00:58:17]>> Okay, sorry. I forgot to X off of it and went it went to the next video. But like I said, his link is in the description of this video.

[00:58:32]If you enjoyed listening, if you want to hear more, he he has so many great videos.

[00:58:43]So many in the shorts with him and his wife.

[00:58:50]She looks very good and beautiful and happy and healthy and all the things, but yet she has autism and some everyday things are a little too much for her.

[00:59:14]And he is so gentle with her, so kind. I saw one video where they were going out. They were having a date night. She was sitting on the couch and she had her tennis shoes on and he said, "Are you ready to go?" And she looked at him. She said, "I can't tie my shoe."

[00:59:39]He said, "What do you mean you can't tie your shoe? Is this a a tick tock prank or what? You know, and she's like, I don't know. I just can't tie them.

[00:59:51]And he gets on his knees and he ties her shoes.

[00:59:56]There's another one that he did where she is just having a complete meltdown almost and being overstimulated, overworked, and and she's just frustrated.

[01:00:12]And the one thing he knows that she likes is ice cream.

[01:00:19]And he says to her, "Let's go get ice cream."

[01:00:25]And her face just brightens up.

[01:00:31]That one also was amazing to see when I was thinking about Sebastian looking at all these videos and things because I wanted to understand a little more about it. You know, I know the basics of autism, but he goes through the whole steps of how to date a person who has autism, how to understand their thought process, how to accept the fact that you're probably going to have to repeat yourself several times a day.

[01:01:16]And it just amazed me that he was so patient with her and just so calm.

[01:01:35]He never gets frustrated with her.

[01:01:41]And it makes me wonder, was Sebastian a child that had that nonverbal skills when put on the spot like she did when she was asked a question by the doctor's office. Give me your name and your date of birth. Everybody knows their name.

[01:02:13]Everybody knows when they were born.

[01:02:17]She would freeze up. I wonder if Sebastian had a hard time explaining how he was feeling. I wonder a lot of times and I'm this is just my opinion and I'm just being honest with you guys because all the videos we've heard of Chris and Katie talking about Sebastian and how they were very critical with the way he danced, the way he walked, the way he laughed, all those things.

[01:02:57]When you stop and think about Katie and Chris being military people, trained by the military, structure, routine, this is how it's done. This is how we're going to do it. End of story.

[01:03:12]We have a mission. Let's complete it.

[01:03:18]Could Katie and her husband not accept the fact that sometimes their plans would get interrupted because of Sebastian.

[01:03:37]I wonder that.

[01:03:40]I wonder was it too much for Katie to handle because she couldn't have this perfect structured life.

[01:03:50]The missions were never accomplished because her son couldn't handle the noise or the over stimulation or the too many people and all the things. And you think about all of that. saw that girl at that baseball game.

[01:04:07]Too much for her. Too much for her.

[01:04:11]Could you imagine going to this store and that store and coming home and unloading groceries and going to the bowling alley, playing some games, going to eat dinner, all those things in one day.

[01:04:31]was Sebastian mentally wore out from exhaustion trying to adapt his ways to his mother's ways.

[01:04:46]And I'm pretty sure, and this is just a a guess on my part, but I'm pretty sure Mr. Chris never adapted to Life with Sebastian.

[01:05:05]Seems to me that he talks a lot for his wife.

[01:05:14]Can y'all not hear me?

[01:05:20]April said, "Breaking up." Anyone else can't hear her?

[01:05:26]Okay, you can hear. Okay, good deal.

[01:05:29]April, maybe go back go out and come back in. Sometimes that helps.

[01:05:37]But I often wonder if raising Sebastian got to be to a point to where it was too much for her husband.

[01:05:51]We know the the child protective services had stepped in several times.

[01:06:05]I wonder if there was a lot more to things happening in that house that Sebastian just couldn't handle.

[01:06:24]And and it makes me always every time I thought about it throughout the day, I continue to go back to that one sentence Chris makes.

[01:06:37]He got the belt and whack across his buttocks.

[01:06:47]It's never okay for an autistic child to get a whack across the butttocks.

[01:06:57]I still question what did he do so wrong that deserved that belt?

[01:07:04]Because if if and that's a big word when it comes to that man.

[01:07:11]If he told the truth about that story, there was nothing that deserved a belt across the buttocks.

[01:07:25]Good, April. I'm glad you can hear me now.

[01:07:31]But with autistic children come sensory issues.

[01:07:40]And yet Chris felt the need to use the belt on that child.

[01:07:50]And I played all this today and went over all this today because like I said, I was trying to to get a better understanding of autism and being a parent to autism. This man is, you know, has a touch of autism himself, Zea, and his wife has even more issues, but yet he deals with it in a way that is reassuring to her.

[01:08:26]It's okay.

[01:08:28]It's all good.

[01:08:31]and he gives her a fist bump to let her know it's okay.

[01:08:43]Oh, 100%. April April said I I would think the abuse would make his symptoms worse.

[01:08:53]Oh, I could only imagine.

[01:08:57]I could only imagine.

[01:09:01]But when you have two parents that are military trained, everything's about structure.

[01:09:10]Perfect.

[01:09:12]Sebastian wasn't perfect.

[01:09:15]No child is born on this earth and is perfect. They have temper tantrums when they're baby. They cry when they get mad or angry.

[01:09:31]They make a mess when they eat.

[01:09:36]Then you get up into the the the little kid stages. They start trying to test boundaries that you set. No kid is perfect.

[01:09:47]And then throw in the fact that Sebastian couldn't quite meet up to their standards no matter how hard he tried because they didn't try to understanding and that's my opinion.

[01:10:13]So here we sit over two years, no sign of this child. They want us to believe he ran away because autistic children sometimes run.

[01:10:29]They get so frustrated they will bolt.

[01:10:36]She told us Sebastian liked to run.

[01:10:39]Remember how he had a shirt and every lap they would mark marks on his back for every lap he did but then contradicts herself and says my child's not a runner.

[01:10:59]I don't know if y'all remember the the story that broke out. I believe it was in Oregon of the little baby that a toddler, you know, he was little and wandered away from the house. The mom woke up and he was gone. Come to find out, she snapped.

[01:11:22]This child was autistic. Had issues.

[01:11:29]She snapped and unalived her child.

[01:11:35]She couldn't handle it.

[01:11:39]And she wasn't even trained by the military. So, she didn't expect to have a perfect organized life.

[01:11:53]Sebastian couldn't meet their high standards.

[01:12:01]He just couldn't.

[01:12:03]No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't.

[01:12:09]And yet his mother tells us, "I don't know why he went out that door."

[01:12:24]And we're supposed to believe he had no shoes on and he just ran away.

[01:12:32]All the things that contradict what we know as a fact that autistic people have when it comes to century issues.

[01:12:48]It's crazy.

[01:12:54]crazy, but sadly it's Sebastian's truth.

[01:13:07]Hang on just a second.

[01:13:10]A friend of mine just called. I'm letting him know. I'll call him back.

[01:13:13]Okay. And so I wanted to do this today to show you this guy's channel to introduce you to this guy's channel in the hopes that it will help everybody to understand what life like was with Sebastian.

[01:13:38]Hey DJ. Hi to everybody coming in. Thank y'all for being here.

[01:13:45]Teresa said, "I wonder if KP was scared either she or CP would seriously hurt him or worse, so she got rid of him to protect him."

[01:13:56]At this point, anything is possible.

[01:14:01]Anything is possible.

[01:14:07]Did she snap one day? Was she worried she was about to snap?

[01:14:16]Was she worried because her husband couldn't adapt to having him in that home?

[01:14:26]I honestly believe, and I have a hard time getting past this, but I honestly believe they were both in fear for their life when it comes to child protective services because Sebastian was going to be able to speak his truth.

[01:14:50]and one or both of them possibly was looking at being locked away.

[01:14:59]I honestly can't get past that.

[01:15:07]And so, yeah, Holly.

[01:15:13]Yeah, I don't think she wanted, you know, think about it this way. If there was a court hearing coming up, the bird agrees. There you go, April.

[01:15:28]If there's a court hearing coming up, and Sebastian's going to get to tell all the things that have happened to him in that home at the hands of his mother and his stepfather.

[01:15:43]What good would it do letting Seth get in early?

[01:15:47]He would still get to testify. They could still be locked up.

[01:15:52]He could still tell his father.

[01:15:57]And in my mind, I can't get past knowing some of the things that I know that that happened to that child.

[01:16:10]They could not take that chance.

[01:16:16]their lives, their livelihood, their freedom hinged on that child, Sebastian Wayne Drake Rogers.

[01:16:43]Yeah, I think so, Patty. And I can't I have a hard time I I make myself try to look outside the box at different scenarios. And we've looked at to so many different scenarios and options and thoughts and pictures and all the things all the videos. We've covered it all.

[01:17:08]And I've tried to have an open mind to be able to look at everything with a different viewpoint.

[01:17:19]But in my gut, I can't get rid of that.

[01:17:25]They couldn't allow him to go live with his father because he would still be able to tell his truth.

[01:17:44]And that worries me.

[01:17:48]Do they just have him locked up somewhere? Are they giving him drugs and keeping him kind of drugged out most of the time?

[01:17:59]Are they just keeping him so isolated somewhere like Rich was saying yesterday?

[01:18:11]Or did they hand him off to someone to do with him what they wanted and place him where he would never be found?

[01:18:28]I honestly question whether Katie and Chris could handle and even try to adapt to what it takes to to be able to live with someone with autism.

[01:18:49]Sadly, Sebastian deserved so much better.

[01:18:56]So many of these children deserve better.

[01:19:03]So many kids are missing and they don't deserve that.

[01:19:09]And it's all at the hands of an adult that made the choice.

[01:19:20]And that's very scary to think about.

[01:19:24]But that's a statistic.

[01:19:28]And statistics come from real life events, real things that have happened.

[01:19:44]And it's so very sad.

[01:19:49]Had children never ever disappeared before, we wouldn't have that high statistic of 92% that those children disappeared at the hands of a family member.

[01:20:06]But unfortunately, that's a statistic.

[01:20:17]And so I question even more now, learning more about what it's like to be with someone who has autism, to live in the house with them, to constantly be in there, to reassuring them it's okay.

[01:20:38]It's okay. It's okay that you couldn't tell the doctor your name and your birth date. You froze up. It's okay.

[01:20:47]It's all good.

[01:20:50]I got you.

[01:20:55]It's okay that she put the pizza box in the oven to warm up the pizza.

[01:21:03]It's all good.

[01:21:06]We'll just order more pizza.

[01:21:12]I don't think Sebastian had that confidence that he was okay.

[01:21:23]Not in his home, not with his mother and his stepfather.

[01:21:28]I don't think he got that.

[01:21:31]I think when he went to his dad's house, he got to be himself and it was accepted.

[01:21:41]It was accepted because his dad accepted him for who he is and loved him and wanted to teach him things and help him learn.

[01:22:09]But sadly, I'm afraid two adults made a decision about Sebastian's life before he had the chance to go be himself and live with his father.

[01:22:25]And that is my God-given right to think.

[01:22:31]I don't just think that because I want to be a mean [ __ ] I think that because of the words that his mother and his stepfather have said.

[01:22:45]I think that because of their actions, because of the fact they hid away in an RV traveling to different places while hundreds of people volunteered their time to come and search for their son.

[01:23:14]I think that because it's the statistics back up my thought process.

[01:23:28]I think that because I've talked to people who live in the area and heard what they have to say about that house and the people in it.

[01:23:50]I don't want to think that a mother of any sort wanted to get rid of her child to make it okay so that her husband doesn't get in trouble for what he's done to her son.

[01:24:12]I don't want that.

[01:24:14]I don't want to go there.

[01:24:23]But in this case, their words and their actions and the words of people who know them.

[01:24:39]I have to question that just like when I questioned why have they not cleared Seth? What do they have or what do they know that they cannot clear him?

[01:24:58]I see a father who misses and grieavves for his son.

[01:25:02]I don't understand that because what we see is a father who cries for his child.

[01:25:24]We see Katie trying really hard to cry, but she ends up laughing instead.

[01:25:35]But we see a father who has tears rolling down his face. It doesn't make sense to me. But I don't have all the evidence and I don't understand.

[01:25:55]Very possible, TJ. Very, very possible.

[01:25:58]Maybe they're not clearing him to protect him.

[01:26:02]I don't know. It's only a guess at this point.

[01:26:08]But I hope that today's show that we just did watching Dr. Cojo's videos, I hope it helped to understand some things. I hope it helped to see Sebastian in a different way.

[01:26:31]And I hope that you got something out of this because it's really hit me pretty hard.

[01:26:45]And I now look at Sebastian in a different way.

[01:26:51]We see him get out of the car. He's holding his ears. He's making a beline to the front door.

[01:26:57]But like Rich said last night, when he leaves, hands in his pocket, walking out, lots of people, lots of activity everywhere, but it didn't seem to affect him.

[01:27:17]But when they got there, no one was there. Just music playing.

[01:27:24]That was it.

[01:27:30]makes you question it.

[01:27:36]But like I said, if you want more to hear more, definitely click on the description of this video and his link is there.

[01:27:51]Go talk check out Dr. Cojo.

[01:27:55]He knows and understands autism to a point because he's got autism himself.

[01:28:03]He's educated. He's got his doctorate.

[01:28:07]He is a doctor that works with autistic people, men, women, and children.

[01:28:19]He knows.

[01:28:22]He married a woman who he said is the love of his life and he knew what he was getting into.

[01:28:35]He knew he would have to repeat himself several times throughout one day and do it all over again the next day.

[01:28:48]But he loved her and it was worth it.

[01:28:52]All of it.

[01:28:54]She's always wanting to go with him and do things, but sometimes it's too much.

[01:28:59]He always tells her, "If we can stay a little longer, I would like to, but if you can't, we will leave."

[01:29:14]I wonder if Katie or Chris ever ask Sebastian, if you can't handle this anymore, we can leave. If it's bothering you, we can leave.

[01:29:41]I don't know.

[01:29:44]I just don't know that they took the time to learn how to adapt to Sebastian.

[01:30:02]Oh, hey Melissa. I'm glad you caught some of it.

[01:30:07]Guys, I really appreciate y'all. And like I said, I hope you got something out of this today.

[01:30:15]I really do because it helps us to look at Sebastian in a whole different light and what is being said about him per his mother and his stepdaddy.

[01:30:28]What's already been said makes you wonder if they even tried to adapt.

[01:30:39]I think the answer would be no.

[01:30:43]There are people that honestly believe that they can beat the autism out of a child.

[01:30:51]There are people who believe they can beat the gayness out of them, discipline them, and break them down until they're no longer what they thought they were.

[01:31:06]people. God made us who we are.

[01:31:12]Sadly, he had an off day every so often.

[01:31:21]Oh, I love you guys.

[01:31:24]Y'all hang in there. We'll come back tomorrow with some more stuff.

[01:31:29]I promised Zea I would take her down to the lake and watch the sunset tonight.

[01:31:34]So, I'm going to head down there for just a little while.

[01:31:39]But join us again tomorrow, guys. Come back. Let's learn some more. Let's do some more digging because I honestly believe Sebastian's worth every bit of it.

[01:31:59]Daniel, I'm still praying for that little baby.

[01:32:03]And when you get to see him, you tell him his lollipop family is all praying for him.

[01:32:14]Guys, y'all keep brown eyes in your prayer. I'm not sure what's going on with her life right now, but she's part of us.

[01:32:26]and if she needs our prayers, it's the least we can do.

[01:32:35]Um, Lisa King, thank you so much. You are so kind and gracious and it is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[01:32:45]I hope everybody has a really good night tonight. Um, be safe out on the streets as always.

[01:32:56]And just know y'all are so appreciated.

[01:32:59]Each and every one of you.

[01:33:02]Until next time, guys.

[01:33:05]Love and hugs. Good night.

[01:34:11]Heat. Heat.