John Gottman studied couples for 40 years. #relationshippsychology #attachment #mentalhealth

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]John Gottman studied couples for 40 years at the University of Washington.

[00:00:04]He found that people who go silent during conflict [music] aren't being cold. Their heart rate is literally above 100 bpm. The body is in fight or flight. The brain physically cannot process complex [music] emotion at that state.

[00:00:17]He called it stonewalling. Not a choice, but physiological shutdown. The person who goes quiet in an [music] argument isn't winning. They're drowning. They just look calm from the outside.