School of Addiction is live

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[00:00:00]since I've just got cut off. But for those who are new to the channel, my name is Ashley. I'm a therapist. I specialize in childhood and trauma and I also am an addictions counselor. I've overcame addiction. I know it's like to have loved ones who struggle with it, but I've also studied it right the way up to PhD level. So, yeah, we're talking about um talking about like narcissism actually um which is a really interesting topic and I'll just wait for people to join on cuz I got cut off.

[00:00:30]But yeah, narcissism is really awful. But there there are certain traits we were talking about the the way oh my it just got basically I've got a million um Frederick has said what's happened. I've got a million alarms which go off and because I've changed the time I forgot to turn off my million alarms.

[00:00:52]Hello. Right. Jack is Jack the Knife is saying covert narcissism narcissists are intense had to go with many narcissists horror horror just run if you know one.

[00:01:03]Yeah. And there's somebody who I can't remember her name. Um she's one of the leading people in the field and she just says she really doesn't think that narcissism can be healed. Um she really doesn't think that it can and it's about putting boundaries in and ideally just not being around them. But look, narcissism, narcissists only equate for a really small percentage of the population. A lot of people might have narcissistic tendencies, which although she does say that she thinks one in six people are um but that's not official statistics.

[00:01:43]Uh Lee, how are you things going so far?

[00:01:48]Going well, thank you.

[00:01:52]Only healing for narcissist narcissists is isolation.

[00:01:56]Yeah, just a way get away. Get away from them.

[00:02:01]So damaging. It is so damaging.

[00:02:04]But I think once you see it, you can't unsee it. That's the thing.

[00:02:10]Um I'm like my problem is I used to be like so empathetic. I I am still really empathetic, but I used to have zero boundaries and I always see the good in people and I always assume that people think the way that I think. Um, and I've had to learn the hard way that people don't think the way that I think always unfortunately.

[00:02:31]And actually like I was just me empathy just meant I was excusing really [ __ ] behavior. Now I let I see actions as a form of language in itself and actually more important than legit language.

[00:02:49]So yeah. Oh, it's already boosting up people. I think I had a naughty title had a swear word in it and I think YouTube had capped us off. But I really enjoyed having a little um 14 people on.

[00:03:02]It was quite nice.

[00:03:05]So yeah, but hi to everybody else who's joining. Um, I've already done a live, so I'm just gonna be doing a short one, but we're talking about narcissism. Has anybody experienced like narcissism?

[00:03:16]It's really horrible.

[00:03:20]I'm here for some company lately. Well, that is nice to be offering you some company. Frederick, my brother had FASD.

[00:03:29]It was hard for me to learn. It's still I still don't understand it to be honest. What's FASD stand for? What's that an acronym for?

[00:03:38]Hi from Milan, Italy. Hi to to Milan.

[00:03:42]How you doing? Hi Sean from Dublin.

[00:03:46]I've been to Dublin before. It's really nice. Oh, fetal an alcohol syndrome.

[00:03:53]Yeah. Um I learned about that a lot in university and it's it's got like a few distinctive features, haven't it? It's a little bit like ADHD the symptoms, isn't it? like presents a little bit like ADHD.

[00:04:10]Um, zero. Hi, Ashley. I haven't used for almost 5 months now. I feel so much better for it. Um, I used the money I would have spent on drugs into driving lessons. I passed my driving test last week. [ __ ] brilliant. That is so good. That is amazing. I love that feeling. That's such a good thing to put the money that you would be spending into something else instead of just thinking like I'm saving money like how much money you would spend on drugs or alcohol whatever it is gambling to put it into something productive. I absolutely love that fear and how you're feeling as well cuz five months is a your brain chemistry should be feeling like pretty on point by now. And what's your top tip for people who are in the early stages?

[00:05:02]Um, Chip, not everyone thinks like you.

[00:05:05]That's going to be a hard lesson which you're going to learn. She'll time out very soon. She doesn't like people who have different view to her.

[00:05:13]What do you mean?

[00:05:15]I'll time out.

[00:05:17]Um, I don't really time people out.

[00:05:19]YouTube times you out or me mods. So, it's obviously YouTube doesn't agree with your view or I mean I think that's quite telling as well if you're getting moderated by AI an algorithm. I think that's quite telling that maybe the view is a bit extreme. If my mods are tiring you out that also does kind of imply that maybe the reason why people aren't agreeing with your views is because they're quite outlandish.

[00:05:48]Um yeah and also like I am human. I'm I'm quite like solid in my beliefs. I'm quite open to other people's beliefs. But like as humans we do have a set of beliefs that we're quite you know we believe things and then I do I I always like quite open with people like I'll listen to what they've got to say but it either solidifies the belief that I have because it really feels wrong or it like slightly changes it. But I think that's very human.

[00:06:18]Hello. So, before we got cut off, I was typing that in past relationships I've been told I'm a narcissist when I'm focusing on myself to get better and I'm a narcissist when I get when I'm not well. I'm staying single. Um, halal, if if if you're saying like communicating in a healthy way that you need to focus on yourself and you know that sounds like somebody who's not emotionally mature enough to handle.

[00:06:46]Yeah, I would I get like where you're saying say stingle, but don't t every person with the same brush, I would say.

[00:06:53]But um yeah, that's really harsh because you're not a narcissist actually. And yeah, there is things where you lose the ability to have to be in the room with the other person. You lose the ability to be able to be present with the other person. That's not narcissistic at all.

[00:07:09]And it sounds and this is a problem a lot of people throw the term narcissist around. Um, and it's it's not true.

[00:07:17]It's not true. It's quite damaging.

[00:07:22]Um, Ed, we are all proud of you as you should be for yourself. I assume you're talking about um, what's his name? Zero.

[00:07:35]I'm 21 and I'm an alcoholic/drug addict.

[00:07:37]Asked for help a million times. No one cares about me. Lee, did you send me a message? Did you were on the other day, weren't you? I did say on me, if you have, I did say on me live um this morning that I've I didn't realize that me messages have been going to me other um so they not been going to me direct inbox. So, I'm going to get back like I'll go through them, but I had like a massive backlog for like two weeks of messages I didn't realize I had. But, have you tried smart meetings online?

[00:08:09]You can do them online. You can do them in person if you prefer that. They're really good and it's all grounded in like psychology etc. or you can join my membership which is £2.99 a month and you'll have direct access to it daily and also do a therapeutic group. So that might be an option as well.

[00:08:28]And then do we have Instagram? Yeah, I I only have a pair someone I've got a school of addiction when I don't bother with it. I couldn't be asked with it to be honest with you.

[00:08:39]What about Acts 2 38? Have you been baptized in the name of Jesus? It is important for salvation. Have you done this? I I um my grandpa was a vigor, so I got baptized when I was younger. I'm not really um religious to be honest with you.

[00:09:01]Frederick, I've never been seen Ashley time someone out unless you're spamming.

[00:09:07]Yeah, there's very few people have timed out and I genuinely think this person's like seemed like she doesn't agree with views, but like it's been that insane the view that YouTube has said. No, that's not getting that's not been there. So, I dread to think I dread to think.

[00:09:25]Hello. Sometimes I feel guilty about it wanting to get get well. I tell everyone I start a relationship with them that I'm bipolar and I wouldn't blame them if they don't want to go forward or at all.

[00:09:37]I get Don't worry. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

[00:09:41]I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I mean, I've just been like I've got bipolar when I'm having lows. I'm just like I'm going through a low like I just need to take a step back. I have got better at managing it though. Halal.

[00:09:56]Um, and I think really like I would work on how to just like what you want to do with bipolar and like I say it wasn't like right I'm going to decide to do it and then it's done. It's took a long time but you want to try and get the gap from like smaller so you you're oscillating through your moods but they're not going as big and wide. So then it's not as impactful on your day-to-day life.

[00:10:21]Like I say, I'm happy to do a free phone call with you to talk about what I've done and then you can use whatever sounds like it might be helpful and go to your psychiatric team and say like this is what I'd like to try and work on alongside um the stuff you're doing in medication.

[00:10:42]Um your face skin looks terrible. What products do you use? What the [ __ ] I think your attitude is terrible. Like what the hell? Who who are these people like going around just like saying the most horrific things? Like what what is wrong with people on the internet?

[00:11:01]Honestly, right, Muhammad, I think we spend too much time living in the past and we worry about the future. We have to learn to live in the present. Yeah, we do. We do. And it's so normal to live in the past because the past influences the present. Um, it's really hard, but it's a skill and this is where mindfulness, we hear about it all the time, that good old mindfulness, but it really does help you learn to live in the present because it changes your brain chemistry and your neuroplasticity. So, you can Sean the prawn, how you doing? It's nice to see you again. Ashley, what age were you diagnosed with bipolar? I was diagnosed at 43, which baffled the doctors because it's not typical. 35.

[00:11:44]Hal, who's on here? Um, I think I'm saying halal. I think it's Hal. I think I'm saying your name wrong.

[00:11:50]Sorry, I've been doing it for ages. But they also got diagnosed at 35.

[00:11:58]There are times when in the Grip of Ones addictions, the thought that one is about to die can actually be very healing. I no longer drink, though I would describe myself as an ex binge drinker.

[00:12:12]Yeah, I think I I sometimes try to think that. Um I sometimes think like I only live once. Like I used to have death anxiety, so I don't think about like dying. But what sometimes I think about is like I only live once or I think about when I'm trying to like zoom out of something that feels so intense right now or like something in my past, I zoom out and I think like realistically is this going to matter? Like if I was on my deathbed, would I be looking back at this moment thinking it's like a defining moment of my life or would I look back and think like that's just one of many shite things that happened which are neither here nor there at this point. So yeah, I think it does help.

[00:12:54]Um, wry trans. No gnome.

[00:13:03]Hello. I get what you're saying, but I've literally tried everything. Gym, diet, um, how do I talk to you then and sign up? You don't need to sign up. You can sign up to the membership, $2.99 a month, but you also can just have a free phone call with it. It's like I'm happy to like hash this out in a telephone call and no charge. Um, just because like it's [ __ ] horrible having bipolar and if even if it can help you 1% um I'm happy to do that.

[00:13:32]Just go to my website schoolofaddiction.co.uk or just comment on any of my content and I'll I'll send you the website link.

[00:13:44]But don't worry, I'm not bothered about charging. Just like it's it's [ __ ] I think. Just it's fine. We'll just have a call. Muhammad, I looked after my friend. Yeah. Multiple seizures and strokes. His he's my only friend. He went in to acute psychosis. Heartbreak and he has lost empathy and sympathy.

[00:14:02]Um yeah, I mean it's that makes sense because all these different things are part of our brains. Um so yeah, that's so sad.

[00:14:13]So sad.

[00:14:19]And it's nice, I guess, that you're able to hold that compassion for him. Um, but yeah, I can't imagine what that would be. Like, it's really hard. It's kind of like when you know somebody in addiction and you've got to you're kind of grieving somebody while they're still alive. That is such a hard thing to do because you you you remember the person and then it's this new version of them inside like the the old version of them. Like it's the same as like when my grand had dementia that was like really hard to deal with because it was like my grand but it wasn't my grand or like when people I love who fell into addiction. It's like the person you love but it's not the person you love. And it's a really hard type of grief to deal with and you kind of have to grieve it twice as well.

[00:15:08]Miss H. She's not Irish. She's British.

[00:15:10]I am I need work in ISA. How is it possible to do in easy way? I'm from Pakistan. ISA.

[00:15:26]I'm northern. I'm busy.

[00:15:31]Um, what's my star sign, Samuel? I'm a Pisces. I should have said guess, shouldn't I? So, me star, me whole birth chart is riddled with Pisces and Gemini, and there's virtually nothing else in it. Um, which I think makes sense.

[00:15:48]Obviously, I've actually got them tattooed on his that's um Pisces and Moon's Gemini.

[00:15:59]The banks did it. He messed his banking up and I went to the bank with him to help. They blocked an account. Have I missed something there? Or is that just like when people say gibberish?

[00:16:13]Steel City. Is that um Sheffield? Are we talking about?

[00:16:17]Um where are you from? I'm from Newcastle in England.

[00:16:22]William. Oh, my grandma's dad probably sounds like here. My grandma's dad's people are Irish. I'm not Irish.

[00:16:32]I ain't Irish, guys. I'm Caucasian.

[00:16:37]Fiona's Fiona saying there was um I saw something the other day like it was like thisadal nation and it was like very Caucasian activities.

[00:16:53]Um yes, my bloodline is Irish, Scottish, German, and Cherokee.

[00:17:00]I'm a gay Fiona. I'm not. I'm not.

[00:17:05]I'm not. I Well, we've been talking about like when I had psychosis. So, like something that like Yeah. So, I don't know if anyone's on here has psychosis or has had psychotic episodes.

[00:17:15]I've got bipolar and sometimes you have themes like reoccurring themes which come up across episodes and one of them is that I'm gay and it's so funny. It's like a running joke now because I've like I've explored it with therapists.

[00:17:30]I've spoken to all my friends about it.

[00:17:32]I even told my son's dad like once when I was psychotic that I thought I was gay. And he's like, "But like do you like can you imagine being with a girl?"

[00:17:41]I was like, "No, but I'm definitely gay." And he's like, "I don't think you are. I actually don't think you are."

[00:17:47]And it's so funny because every single time I explore I'm like, "No, it's just an intrusive thought that happens when I'm psychotic."

[00:17:55]But yeah, it would probably be easier though. I'm not going to lie. Us girls are easier bunch. I'm going to put it out there.

[00:18:05]Daryl, defeating the addiction for me feels like it won't resolve the problems. I'd like So, what do I do?

[00:18:13]Feels like it won't resolve the problems. I'd like Do you mean because the problem is you like it or do you mean like what do you mean by that? Is it that like it won't resolve them? Is it that you're addicted because it's serving a purpose? Is that what you mean? Like for instance, when some people like I smoke weed cuz it helps with back pain or they saying I'd like does it mean do you mean that you just really like it?

[00:18:45]Jord saying gay sounds like gia. Well, we say g like that and gay.

[00:18:52]So everything's more more um going to join now Ashley then get in touch if you don't mind absolutely don't mind at all and like look you don't have to join the group that was an option but do get in touch I I take a hot minute I've got like a backlog so like it's the school holidays so give us a few days to get in touch with you though I'm not going to be ignoring you if your email is Frederick is saying honestly I smoke because I'm bored Yeah. And like a lot of people do. A lot of people and also it's on the flip side of that. So it's like a catch 22 if you're so used to being like if you're so used to getting wrecked like say like smoking weed. We'll use that example.

[00:19:42]For me it was ketamine. Like your whole life like you your hobbies, interests, social interactions revolve around being baked. So it even just if you remove it then you're going to be bored because you're like well this is like the be all and end all of my chill time, my hobbies, my um just my enjoyment. So like you do it because you're bored, but also when you remove it, you're going to be really [ __ ] bored. Um because that's your whole life. So I what I would say is start doing things which aren't boring and do them not stoned. So like if you're not ready to stop if you're like okay I'm do it because I'm bored think of something what wouldn't be boring to try out and then maybe if you wake and bake say so you first thing you do is have a joint go do that thing first and then say to yourself when I'm finished I can get stoned so you're starting to do things which aren't boring and just layer things on top of it and then eventually you're going to build up a life that isn't boring so when you remove the weed you're not going to be bored.

[00:20:47]This is why I think it's really important to acknowledge there's a reason why we're doing the drugs. Like what's the good stuff out of it? Like let's be really real with ourselves instead of saying like, "Oh, I shouldn't do it." Like, "Why am I doing something that is causing a lot of [ __ ] in me life?"

[00:21:05]Oh, hello. Hello. Hello. You've became a group member. Thank you. Um, it's got some links on there, so just join join up.

[00:21:16]My son is still awake and it's 10 past 9 but is the school holidays. I might just let him keep playing on Roblox.

[00:21:26]But see, Dr. Gab Mate says addiction happens. Oh, my nose is itching. When a child loses something through trauma and keeps trying to fill the hole with drugs. Yeah, a lot of research supports this. A lot of research. Um, this is where it's really sad cuz like this there's so much stigma around it and actually these are people who've got addiction or the people who've slipped through the net as children. Either they've been experiencing abuse and it it's they went under the radar. Maybe they've had a really chaotic childhood um and they've went under the radar or they've had like mental health disorders and they've not been diagnosed. And these are the kids who are then grown up and they've got addiction. And then instead of being like, "Oh, [ __ ] Actually, we failed these as children.

[00:22:14]We need to um we need to like rectify this as a society. We've got a moral obligation. It's a welferous issue."

[00:22:22]Instead, we're like, "Oh, let's just shame them. Let's just um stigmatize them and make them feel responsible for us letting them down as a society." It's so bad. And it's reflected in policy.

[00:22:36]It's so [ __ ] bad. It's so sad.

[00:22:40]And a lot of what I want to do on the channel is break down that stigma.

[00:22:47][ __ ] is saying it's awful. It [ __ ] is awful. It really is. And you know, I experienced firsthand the absolute like stigma, like the sting of shame. I was like, "You're a terrible mom. You're awful." Because I had an addiction. And I was like, I'm reaching out for support. Like, I'm actually saying, I'm really struggling. This was so hard for me to say I'm struggling, but I want to give my son the best chance in life. And I was just shamed. And I was like, actually like ended up getting diagnosed with three mental health disorders. Um, I've got child CPTTSD, childhood trauma.

[00:23:24]I was had sexual abuse with my first partner at the age of 16. like no [ __ ] wonders I had an addiction and then instead I just got like more traumatized by opening up to people saying I'm struggling. It's so sad. And it's not the the people's fault who shamed is. It's the fact that there's this idea that it's the person's fault when none of the research at all says it is.

[00:23:53]So um hi Robert. The ripple effect from the neglect makes society suff um suffer from crime. Yeah, it is a ripple effect.

[00:24:02]And look, it's we say like childhood trauma, but you've got to think like it's not the parents which are causing the trauma. Like it's they've experienced it from their parents. And actually the further back you go, the probably more severe the trauma is um compared to what we're experiencing this day and age. It's just generational trauma. And this is why you have addiction running in families. Not because of a gene, because addiction is not genetic. Um, but what it is is it's the fact that like there's generations of people struggling from trauma which is getting passed on through maladaptive coping strategies. It's so [ __ ] sad.

[00:24:50]Oh, this is going quite fast the chat.

[00:24:51]So, I'm sorry cuz I'm I'm I'm barely even getting to read it before it's going up. Have you ever visited any country in Africa? Um, for example, Rwanda? I haven't. I have not. I'd like to.

[00:25:07]Robert, learn behavior. It is. Yeah.

[00:25:09]learn behavior or I mean look I've got to say like as a parent like when I first I'm a therapist like I really struggled with like the first three years of a kid's life is so important and I knew the impact of that like I wish that I had a better um I had different tools under me belt to have provided a better first three years son's life unfortunately I didn't I was disreg regulated uh with relapsed when I was pregnant. I then relapsed twice in the first year of his life. I was having I had experienced my first psychotic episode. I was sectioned. I was disregulated. I really struggled to be present with me son. Like I had to train myself. And on top of that, I experienced such guilt. Like so much [ __ ] guilt because I knew that this is this is like not acceptable parenting. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't acceptable. And and it wasn't my fault.

[00:26:12]And it was so hard. And I had to like learn how to address all this stuff in real time, which was like really hard.

[00:26:23]It's so sad. And and I don't think there's a mother out there who doesn't want to do the best by the children. I genuinely don't. But unfortunately, um, a lot of us don't have a good like a good setup in life. We don't have the right knowhow, ability, tools, and regulation.

[00:26:42]And it's so sad.

[00:26:48]Jack the knife and overprotected childhood is also detrimental to adult life. Many people find it difficult to na navigate later life as a result.

[00:26:57]Yeah, it is. Moduy coddling can be really dangerous. Um, especially for men as well. Especially for men. Um yeah, I mean what I try and do there's this idea of like rupture repair. So like it's not the like doing things which are harmful with children isn't what causes the damage. It's the the not repairing not holding your hands up and saying um oh like I shouldn't have done that or that wasn't great and trying to repair the situation.

[00:27:31]There is an attack on parents in the US.

[00:27:34]I haven't been in Europe for a while. Is it the same pro man? Uh there's constant um constant expectations on parents and it's really hard because I think like we're living in a generation so the millennials um and some Gen X it's the first time where we've got access to information in this in this way. So like for instance like we're learning firsthand what children need through research because realistically you wouldn't have access to research.

[00:28:11]We're getting information fed down our throats. The the so what that means is we can actually parent in a way which is helpful for our children. What's not helpful is the fact that there's too much expectation on parents to get it right and that's really hard and there's not the same support. We've got two parents working instead of dads typically going to work and mothers staying at home and having a community.

[00:28:36]It's a lot a lot. And I'd imagine that mental health in moms and dads are rife at the moment because of that.

[00:28:52]what's happening here. The humble bee and I'm a therapist and it's just I'm just answering questions around addiction and mental health.

[00:29:01]So feel free to um to just ask like fire some questions my way.

[00:29:13]Squeezer, you're in the cult, aren't you?

[00:29:17]You're in the cult. You're back.

[00:29:19]I think people's ego is a huge factor in the problem.

[00:29:23]Yeah. I mean, look, a lot of us are we're we're becoming more aware as a society, but a lot of us are still operating from a state of fight or flight and unconscious awareness. So, egos are running the show left, right, and center. But look, it's as a society, we're slowly becoming what's called self-actualized in like clinical terms.

[00:29:45]But like we're becoming more and more conscious and self-aware and it's a it's a bit of a painful thing for people to go through.

[00:29:55]Ethan fit check. I've just got me um this little top which looks like carpet.

[00:30:01]Um it's nice and cool and me jean shorts on.

[00:30:08]Jack the Knife the Cult also a good band. Yeah. Well, I can't remember his name. squeezer or whatever squ I was on this morning saying she's trying to sign people up for a cult and I was like you're still here. He was like being a bit trollish. Not too bad, but a little bit of a tinge of a troll. But he's back and welcome. You can join the cult.

[00:30:37]Johnny Kelly, I have a problem. How's your day? I'm from Dublin. Positive thoughts. My day is good. Um, my day is good. I'm due on me period, so it's been I've been a little bit emotional, but other than that, other than hormones, it's been nice. R, I was just doom scrolling. Just want to say I love your energy and hope you have a great rest of the day. Thank you. I hope you enjoy your doom scrolling.

[00:31:00]The humble bay teachers scared by parents, children rules, the parents, and kids scared of principal, and the parents scared of the principal like hell. Or do you mean the humble bee?

[00:31:14]Do you mean now or do you mean in the past?

[00:31:22]Um down with all cults. Squeeze that.

[00:31:25]Addicted to cults.

[00:31:28]It's just well only to be part of a a community, don't we? That's the problem.

[00:31:33]Like when cults survise, you're getting like a core need met um from from being human, don't I? She keeps skipping me comments, but she's definitely read a few. Mark, get over yourself. No, I'm literally I have about a thousand comments per live and we've got 205 people on. You're getting lost in a sea of comments. Um it's not personal.

[00:31:59]She sells sanctuary from the band Cult cool song. I need to listen to the cult now. You're getting us You're getting us to sign up to the cult. The band.

[00:32:09]The Democratic cult is constantly harassing me always. Democratic squeezer. That's um in the States, isn't it?

[00:32:21]There's um some very obvious cults that we don't realize we're part of.

[00:32:26]Mark, I said you're 1010 and you have no ring on. Oh, thank you. And no, I don't have my ring on, kids.

[00:32:36]Oh, Frederick, you can always super chat him, Mark. There you go, Frederick.

[00:32:41]Thank you for the super chat.

[00:32:45]The diet, but if it's to mar, just save you save your money. I'm not I'm not here to get married.

[00:32:53]Nice tattoos. Thanks, Johnny.

[00:32:57]Monle Jerky, h you look lovely. I really like your style. Thank you. Well, it's been a school um it's the school holidays. So, um and I'm not training because of the school holidays. So, I managed to do me hair and stuff.

[00:33:11]Usually, it's just like either after the school run looking after like doing all that malar I've been to jiu-jitsu. So, it's like sweaty braided. So, I've made an effort.

[00:33:23]Sam C. So, so doing therapy a month for months now. The therapist was saying, "Relationship is toxic. I need to get out while I can. Going on a drinking binge today because of the words said, feeling that she wants that life." Um, I don't know. I'm not your therapist.

[00:33:43]um speaking from like an ethical standpoint.

[00:33:47]Um when therapists aren't supposed to tell you what to do, so like I mean I don't I've not been in the room with that, but I would maybe talk through what has been said with AI and that's probably a good starting point and think about whether I mean if this has left like sent you off to binge shrinking as well, it's clearly impacted you. I've I've had a client before um obviously I'm going to remain fully confidential here, but this so it's going to be broad. Um but I've had a client before where I've felt like this situation is abusive. I've said that cuz you have to be honest. I've said it's it's abusive and then I've said I need to leave this relationship because like I'm going to end this counseling. I think you'd be suited a better counselor because it was touching on things I've been through myself. I was saying I'm now being biased like I'm looking through a lens of I think this about you and actually what you need is a very a non-biased counselor who could sit there indifferently and and help you work through this. So I I recognized myself that that was unethical. And realistically, any counselor that's telling you to do something, that you have to do something is um isn't in alignment with ethical guidelines.

[00:35:09]So, I would be yeah, I would go to AI and and go through cuz you could give us a very small amount of information. I'm not your therapist. might not be being unethical, but I would go through with AI, which has access to ethics cuz there's an ethical framework that all therapists have to abide by and you pick which one and they're very similar.

[00:35:37]Um, smokes weed habitually, non-addictive. I mean, if you're doing something habit habitually, um, look, it is addictive. Like, it very much is addictive. Now, whether you identify as having an addiction is actually subjective. So, something can be addictive and you don't need to be addicted to it. Alcohol, chemically addictive, like notoriously addictive.

[00:36:04]Not everybody who has a drink of alcohol is addicted to alcohol. So, yeah, it is addictive though.

[00:36:14]Duh. And weed is not addictive. I just smoke it every day. Yeah. But look, if it addiction, if the the lens that I like to look at addiction through, which is the same as gab mate, is addiction is a problem that you want to stop that you can't stop. We all do things habitually.

[00:36:30]That is human nature. And I think it's only I would only class it as addiction if it's like screwing up your life and you can't stop it. Other than that, you're just doing something you enjoy regularly. Um, it's ne it's just a thing. We all have things that we do regularly and feel like we want to.

[00:36:50]I spend £200 a week on weed. It's annoying. Yeah, that that is definite addiction.

[00:36:58]>> Oh, has it? Okay.

[00:37:03]>> Well, don't come to the camera.

[00:37:07]Right. Well, 10 minutes and then I'll come through.

[00:37:10]>> No, >> you know.

[00:37:12]>> Oh, we've got someone driving a hard bargain here. 2 minutes. We'll go for four.

[00:37:18]What's the negotiation? We're not going to one. That's going down. I'm saying four. What you saying?

[00:37:23]Two. No, I'm not. Not two. What's in between two and four? Three. Right.

[00:37:29]You've got a deal. Three minutes.

[00:37:33]Right. Scrum.

[00:37:37]Sorry, that's my son.

[00:37:43]Um, Jack the Knife, smoking weed causes psychological dependence. Alcohol is almost even worse. Yeah. So, it is it is addictive. It It can be very addictive.

[00:37:53]I know somebody who literally whose mom was dying and she was like trying to quit. So, cuz her mom was on um basically had cancer. It was now no longer treatable. She lived across the road and she's like, "I'm not even getting up to go and see my mom who lives across the road because I'm I want to get baked. I'm picking weed over spending time with my mom who's dying and and she managed to stop six weeks before she died. She did manage to stop, but it was horrific." And she had a hell of a fight to do that. Now, when people say that weed isn't addictive, they they really like just saying it, they don't.

[00:38:29]It is. It is very addictive because if it wasn't addictive, you would just stop it if you wanted to spend more time with your mom on your deathbed. So, yeah, it's it is psychologically addictive.

[00:38:42]Eric, thank you for sharing. Oh, thank you for the um for the donation.

[00:38:48]So, I did say to my son that I will only say we had a negotiation and we end up with three minutes. Um he drives a hard deal. So, But you trans girl. I'm not trans.

[00:39:04]When I've stopped, I've had to use cocoa demol cocoa demol and metazzipene to sleep. Oh yeah, any addiction that you start really [ __ ] screws up your sleep. Like any addiction. I quit vaping recently. I did the same.

[00:39:19]Right. Anyways, I'm going to go. Um will is there anywhere else I can find your content? Um, I've got a therapy group. Um, just do you want to just send us a message? Um, because I've got a few different things like I've had an article published. Um, I've got a therap like a membership. My son's coming through though and I'm a bit concerned about him coming on the screen. Um, yeah, just send us a comment on any of my content or go to my website schoolofaddiction.co.uk.

[00:39:49]But if anyone could give us a subscribe if you like my content, that is like such a free way to help the channel. Um, and yeah, thanks for everybody who's joined and I'll speak to you soon. Bye.