Admitting our biggest sex secrets

[00:00:00]on my deathbed like last moments before I go I'm gonna be like one of the best parts of life is grinding and then just like die >> controversial [music] subjects can be tense but we are science [singing] here make sense today we are talking about music during sex and why that is arousing for some people and a turnoff for others but we're also going to touch into like the environment and sexual arousal from lighting versus alactory and sensory input that way and why everyone has a different um sort of like thing that gets them going. But there's a really cool science behind it all. And we've kind of had this debate between the two of us for many years cuz we have different perspectives on which things kind of like turn us on.

[00:00:42]>> Um that's what's led to this cuz well I'll just say it up front like you famously even on this pod have a sex playlist. I am music during sex down. I have a sex playlist. It's right here in front of me. It's actually 10 hours and 24 minutes. [laughter] So sting call me tantric sex wives. No, but we've always kind of argued because I've always, not that I'm like against music during sex, but it's not something that is part of like my instinct. I could easily do without. I don't think about it. Um, and then you're always like, why do you want it so quiet?

[00:01:14]>> It's like it's it's a it's a frustrating part of our sex life. And I actually am so obsessed with my sex playlist that the first song is Plain Spelled with a zed by Jeremiah and J.Cole. We're looking at it right now. Honestly, like it's I'm looking at it right now like I can hear this.

[00:01:31]>> Okay, but don't get us flagged for copyright.

[00:01:34]>> You always do that. It has to be over like 30 seconds. This because that's the first song. It's the song I always press play on first. And if I hear this, it's like pavlov semi hard. Like it's literally my body.

[00:01:46]No, pause [laughter] it.

[00:01:48]>> Oh yeah.

[00:01:49]>> Rolling with a tap out.

[00:01:51]>> Actually, >> I literally have a boner. And that's not that doesn't get flagged. It's like No, it doesn't. What? Okay. This video is going to be taken down. Just wait.

[00:01:58]>> Remember girl talk? Speaking of music, you can do 30 seconds of anything.

[00:02:01]>> That's not how that works.

[00:02:02]>> Yes, it is.

[00:02:03]>> Okay. Wait. Quickly talk about that song in the context of news or criticism cuz then we're allowed to have used it.

[00:02:09]>> Okay. So, Planes by Jeremiah and JCole is a really old song. It happens to be added first. Jeremiah to me is quite a sexy musician. Since it's 10 hours and 24 minutes, you know, there's going to be numerous songs that come later. We've got PopCon in here. We've got Bad Bunny in here. We've got Playboy Cardi. We've got Justin Bieber. We've got DOAT. There are women on my sex playlist. I was kind of like, wo [laughter] crazy. Um, and yeah, but Jeremiah is the first one and it is Pavlovian. And I also edit this like crazy cuz there's nothing more obvious than during sex when a song is wrong and you're like that's not belonging on the sex playlist. [laughter] Yeah.

[00:02:44]>> Oh, old McDonald got on here somehow.

[00:02:46]>> Okay. What I've learned from my research on this is so fascinating. I think it's like so I understand some of this stuff can feel like well shouldn't we be solving cancer? Why are we studying like these random like sex string uh music?

[00:03:00]>> I have not.

[00:03:01]>> I had that moment where I was like I think it's so interesting when there is research into this and I can sometimes imagine people being like why is money going into like not this specifically.

[00:03:10]Anyway, I think it's really fascinating and it validates both of our experiences, which is interesting. Like why some people like music during sex and actually some people do not like it.

[00:03:22]Not even just I feel fairly neutral, but some people like it is a turnoff to have uh music during sex. I keep wanting to say sex during music and I don't know what that is.

[00:03:31]>> Well, it is sex during music if you prioritize the music. Oh, do you want to have sex during the music? [laughter] >> That's true. Like my playlist is so good that it's like do you want to have sex during my playlist? [laughter] >> Okay, starting from like an evolutionary perspective, obviously these are just like hypothesis. Darwin had hypothesized that music originally evolved as like through sexual selection and courtship displays. So when we think of like birds and stuff, they sing songs and they dance and all these kind of things. It's like we don't know for sure if that's where music came from. It's obviously transformed as like a form of social bonding and there's like many topics cultural like um >> it's [clears throat] much more even if it just started as sexual selection like evolution, it's much more than that.

[00:04:18]>> Um but as it relates to sexual arousal, there's kind of like two reasons why it might get you going. And I wanted to ask first though, like why why do you think it why do you like it so much? Well, I find music to be extremely sexual, especially sexual music again. Like, >> so what differentiates like sexual music for you versus like just a nonsexual song? Is it the words?

[00:04:43]>> The words like a lot of artists will like as a huge Usher fan. It's like that's kind of half the battle for him is making sex music. Like >> I find like R&B or like sexual music to be like extremely like fun to listen to.

[00:04:59]Not just to like get horny >> like not only for sex.

[00:05:01]>> So then it's like oh my god wait this is such a good sex song or it's like sometimes like yeah like doaat it's like the lyrics are so [ __ ] horny and sexy and it's just like hell yeah >> unabashedly sexy that it's so like these songs are about sex and for sex and a lot of music is about sex.

[00:05:18]>> Well that's interesting turning me on.

[00:05:20]>> Okay. The two sort of like theories of why it may turn you on. One is called the misattribution of arousal and the other is called the excitation transfer theory. These are what I think are really cool that there's actually research on these.

[00:05:32]>> Wow.

[00:05:33]>> So obviously you probably are aware music creates like a measurable physiological response, right? Like your heart rate can increase. There's like your skin response like they can measure like more electricity on your skin.

[00:05:47]>> Yeah. You can breathe more deeply too is what I'm reading. Yeah. So obviously even when it's not sexualized like even if you're like at a concert or just excited music is excitatory.

[00:05:56]>> Um and then the idea is that >> there's something called crossmodal cues where like one form of stimulation or excitation can inform or influence another one. Totally. And so the idea is that like your body doesn't necessarily realize that it's taking the cues from the music and placing it into the sexual scene which is heightening or it does realize like that's exactly what I'm thinking. [laughter] >> Also, I'm just like the beat, y'all.

[00:06:24]It's like sex requires like a pumping motion and it's sometimes like, "Okay, here we go." And then you like find the beat.

[00:06:32]>> That's probably why like quintessential sort of like Scandinavian pop music is not sexual because it's not You can jump to it, but you can't dance to it.

[00:06:42]>> Never end.

[00:06:47]Pump it, [laughter] pump it, pump it, pump it. I mean, you could >> you could, but it's not music that you like picture really dancing and like grinding to and like even music when it's not being sexualized in a club, you can tell there's certain songs that get people to like move in a way that is inherently more sexual >> or smooth. Yeah. And so I think that's interesting to think about like the beat and the groove and that a lot of the studies realize it's a very specific kind of beat and groove that stimulates this. But I guess like energetic music that gets you excited could do it.

[00:07:21]Whatever you like.

[00:07:22]>> This is very fascinating. It's like comment below. What are your sex songs?

[00:07:25]Cuz I am so into this. In fact, like I'm literally like an unprofessional DJ who's never DJ, but I act like I'm a wedding DJ constantly. Every time I listen to music, I'm like, "Oh, is it on the sex playlist? Is it on the party playlist?" Like, "Where's it go?" which is fun cuz I'm not such a crazy music person, but Greg has so many playlists that will be like linked to certain periods of our life or a trip that we went on or like a year and that you're so >> well that's about music and memory which is based on scientific uh studies that aren't related to this episode but we've done in the past. So every uh season of my life is I'm like >> spring 2021 playlist and then when I play it in the future, it really transports me back in a really like fun way.

[00:08:08]>> And then you have a master playlist of like your greatest best songs ever and it's a fun game we often play. This is not related to like sexual stuff, but >> Practice by Drake. That is a sex song.

[00:08:17]Now I'm just going to Moscow Mule by Bad Bunny. I could cry though cuz it's one of the best songs ever made. Candy Rosalia.

[00:08:24]>> Okay. Wait, how does that one go again?

[00:08:26]like >> all right.

[00:08:31]It's like let's go bang.

[00:08:33]>> Studies have also found that when listening to high arousing or rhythmic music >> in studies where they're simply showing people like faces and getting them to evaluate attractiveness. You're more likely to find people attractive when you're listening to sexual music. Which I think is really interesting, too. Not just about the actual sexual act because another element of it is that grooves and beats trigger like synchronization in not only your heart rate but your movements and that's why it can be like sexual and help you syncopate yourself with somebody else. And I will say personally my biggest barrier and this may be just like Catholic shame growing up in a religious household or something.

[00:09:13]>> I'm so [laughter] curious what you're going to say. or gay shame just like not really being able to express >> which is Catholic or gay or both >> or both. Uh I sort of feel like corny.

[00:09:23]It actually might also be because I didn't grow up listening to like sensualized music which might it be like I was sort of like >> not repressed in that way but I didn't have music education.

[00:09:34]>> Yeah, exactly. Like your family was not like >> ironically I was like educated in classical music.

[00:09:39]>> Well, yeah. your your family cuz it's like they're so like better do piano but then like no one's like listening to my family was like what's the album for dinner and I got to choose and I was I was like a sure no I'm kidding like I wasn't like being like sex music family but there was like this sort of innate like decision I had to make around what type of like I was learning about genres and stuff by being like what's good for dinner.

[00:10:02]>> Yeah, that's so [laughter] interesting because I we would never put on music at dinner. We would like sometimes depending on we lived in a handful of houses like if the TV was near sometimes we'd have the TV on but a lot of times it was just my parents would shoot me between the eyes they would p me between the eyes with the with the BB gun if I ever brought up the TV anywhere near [laughter] dinner.

[00:10:23]>> We mostly couldn't. There was just one house that you could see into the living room from our kitchen table and then we would have like a passive TV experience.

[00:10:32]But normally we would just like eat and have a conversation and that would be dinner. Um, but yeah, so for me, I think like because sexualized, centralized music, not only is there like the shame element of being embarrassed, like I never learned how to like be sexual through music. And even growing up now, like loving like Latin American culture and realizing that people are so free in the way that they like move and dance.

[00:10:55]As we like traveled through like Colombia and South America, I felt like, wow, you really realize how connected people are through music and their bodies.

[00:11:03]It's kind of not all white cultures obviously, but like >> No, it is. Okay, I'm like we can go off.

[00:11:07]Okay, so this is like what I'm making what is making me realize >> is that white culture is devoid of sex and dancing. Like when you think about >> it's not devoid of dancing. Like lots of white cultures >> river dance. Okay, maybe not the most sexual dances.

[00:11:23]>> Yeah, not sexualized.

[00:11:24]>> River dance might be sexual for you. I'm not saying it isn't, but I'm just saying when I look at river dance, I'm not like, okay, like let's grind it up in the club. If someone river danced in the club, I might be like, "Hey, let's give them space." And I'm not [laughter] necessarily take them home. They're kicking. It's sort of like get away, get away. Whereas other dances are [laughter] like, "Bring me clothes.

[00:11:41]Bring me clothes." So yeah, River Dance, not necessarily sexual, but maybe for some. But I think it is linked to that.

[00:11:48]Like >> I do feel like sexual music amongst I'm trying to think of like white like Robin's new album is sexual, but it's not necessarily sexual music. like the beats of white music are very like >> well that's why I even brought up Scandinavian pop in particular because it's so catchy and it can be it's often about love it's often about even sex but yeah it's not >> the actual music doesn't feel sexual or like maybe it's the pacing of it it's so much faster usually in my mind that it's like you actually can't dance >> like a regon beat is innately sexual rhythm and blues and R&B music like I have a lot of like Erica Badoo on the playlist. Like they're just sexual songs. Like they're sexual beats. Like >> Yeah. And that's interesting. I am trying to think of like going off.

[00:12:36]>> Yeah. But there are lots of like specific cultural dances linked to white music. Um but I just can't picture any sexual ones. And I'm curious people from like all different cultures. Like even thinking of like East Asia or even like I'm thinking of like South Asian culture which like half of my family has but not like deeply rooted in like music of that. I'm trying to think like is there a sexualized version of music in other cultures that we're just not aware of?

[00:13:00]>> Yeah, there probably is. I just mean in general from like a North American perspective, it's like you have rock, you have pop, you have rap, you have R&B, and like R&B is just a more sexual style of music. Now you have rea more sexual and more dance focused. Like >> yeah, >> I mean like think Confessions 2. It's like Madonna's I guess confessions one album was kind of sexual as like a dance.

[00:13:24]>> There's certain dance and like trance music even that probably could fit the bill.

[00:13:28]>> Like Fred Again. [laughter] >> Yeah. But honestly, I'm not thinking of Fred again, but there is like a sort of trans feeling of like lowbeat minimalized music that could be sexual even if it's not when you're like at a party.

[00:13:41]>> We're just trying to give white culture something in regards to sexuality in music. And the most we can come up with is Madonna and Fred again. Like that's sad. [laughter] >> Like that's >> there's got to be more.

[00:13:52]>> There's got to be more. Like we must >> put it in the comments. Give us a white artist.

[00:13:56]>> Like it's not Lucky by Britney Spears.

[00:13:58][laughter] >> Oh, Britney probably has sexy songs.

[00:14:00]>> Yeah, she does. And like Spice Girls probably had sexy songs in Backstre Boys, but there aren't.

[00:14:04]>> It's when they were like literally trying to be black and doing R&B [laughter] and it was problematic.

[00:14:08]>> Okay, going back to the science. So it's like people who prefer music in the bedroom probably the hypothesis is that you probably have a higher sensitivity to these crossodal cues. So like when you're hearing music it's triggering your other like body.

[00:14:22]>> I can't not like dance. I was just walking down the street listening to a song singing out loud.

[00:14:30]>> Yeah. You have inhibition >> that a man on his bike was like was just like wow like good day for you. And I was like, "What?" And he was like, "Good day for you." I was like, "Yeah, the new song by Olivia Rodrigo called Begged is beautiful." [laughter] And he was just like, "Okay, good to know." I'm like, "Not on the sex playlist."

[00:14:50]>> The other part of the science of like it triggering those cues for you is that what it may be doing for many people is lowering lowering your cognitive inhibition and allowing you to be like emotionally present. like it stops you from overthinking or almost like stimulating your brain away from like your mind overthinking or being anxious in the bedroom, which is like always a turn off if someone's anxious. You know what I mean?

[00:15:16]>> My sex playlist 1,000% gets me in the literal mood to the point where it like shuts down. Like sex is a nerve-wracking thing to do. I hit the first song, Plains Jeremiah, featuring JCole, and my whole body is just like here we go. And it's just like then like a Justin Bieber song comes on next. I know it's like I'm that's the sex player song. Here we go. Here. It like keeps me not thinking about anything but the sex or sex. Yeah.

[00:15:40]>> Because you don't want your mind to wander. And to me, sexual music is such a great way of bringing you back to the task. Cuz a lot of the times they're literally talking about sex or the beat is about sex. And I have had moments where I'm like, remember to take that off the sex playlist cuz I'm like, I'm thinking about death cuz it's like [laughter] a Phoebe Bridger song comes on and I'm like, wow, Greg, you really overstepped it with that. And now you're somewhere else. And I mean obviously there's an element of like Pavlovian response if you sync this with sex or any sex music like the probably the more that somebody associates music with sex just as like other kinks and fetishes the more you start associating certain things with sexuality the easier it is for you to use one to link the other one up immediately.

[00:16:22]>> Maybe music is a kink for me because I was obsessed with grinding in high school. Like I feel like my sexuality really like I was like so into music and so into dancing gay guy that even if I was at like a semiformal dance with girls and like you know Shawn Paul and Beyonce was on I could like kind of get semi hard and grind cuz I was just like this is so sexual and good and I freaking I love grinding. literally on my deathbed like last moments before I go I'm going to be like one of the best parts of life is grinding and then just [laughter] like die >> cuz it really to me it's like so and like I think that's why >> that's what the new Madon album is [laughter] dance music but there's something like that is almost a problem for me it's like I guess I will be like a 63year-old like father of [snorts] like a 17-year-old girl and be like yeah I am going to go and try and grind >> oh [laughter] my god enough >> that's moving on >> no gay Gay guys can grind into their 16 grinding is the question.

[00:17:20]>> A 47year-old gay guy 47y old supposed to say.

[00:17:25]>> Yeah. [laughter] No, but we've already established that you are not like obsessed with grinding. This is my point.

[00:17:29]>> I like grinding now.

[00:17:30]>> No, but sometimes they be like you will stay home and I am chasing the grind.

[00:17:34]>> I'm so embarrassed that I had to say I like grinding now. [laughter] >> Well, remember our therapist literally taught you that grinding was important to me. Do you remember that? And then it was like you actually had to start. you had to start grinding.

[00:17:47]>> And I will say like for me like that is part of probably why this I hope this isn't a weird thing to say but like >> you're like I like grind dang and everyone's like [laughter] no >> going back to like the cultural experience of traveling through South America and like Latin American culture.

[00:18:04]I think that's what like opened my eyes.

[00:18:06][laughter] >> So white guy goes to Columbia.

[00:18:08]>> I know. I know. I know. It's so embarrassing.

[00:18:12]grew up in such a like >> so cute >> not conservative household but definitely in terms of like bodies and we were like my grandparents were super religious and I didn't have like a huge diversity around me I grew up in a small town in Canada so like I didn't have a lot of Latin friends >> and to be clear me and my family were not grinding in our living room [laughter] >> no but you lived in Toronto you were exposed to like cultures I went out dancing when I was >> you probably just like saw like and heard music that I never could have even imagined >> so I'm just saying Like I it ultimately like I haven't traveled the whole world.

[00:18:44]There's many other cultures that could have taught me this, but it happened to be like seeing it through even just being like walking on the streets in Latin American seeing people dance even like salsa like they're just a freedom with their bodies and that like slowly opened my eyes to what that can mean to like connect my body more to music. And I've always enjoyed like dancing but that was like my first way to be like even when you dance sexually it doesn't have to be sexual. It's just like a form of >> Yeah, I remember that was like really complicated in in like Colombia. Like you could like dance with someone in the club and they'd be like capia like it wasn't and in your head you're like that was the most romantic thing [laughter] I've ever done or like the bachata >> bachata that's the dance that we like the easiest one that I was trying to learn and it's so cute and you see all these like diverse ages family members I think it's like literally mom's son doing it and it's so to a white person like oh my god but to them they'd be like you stupid white person we're dancing it's like I'm [laughter] sorry that you have no culture and you literally just have like milk with your dinner and go to sleep at 7 p.m.

[00:19:44]>> Okay. Okay. Back to the science. So, for people like me who maybe don't like music or like are feeling more neutral to it, the hypothesis is that it may actually be taking away from my cognitive load, which sounds sexual, but we just even when we talk about like the internet or other load, but you have like an a capacity that your brain can handle. And so if you're somebody who's easily distracted, like it can steal your attention. And so like for me, my mind, my behavior by words or like even if I am excited by the music, it's the same reason I cannot really listen to music when I work. It's like it pulls my attention too hard. And so I think that's part of it for me. It's like almost feels distracting because I don't do it that often. The more you like do it, the more your brain actually can tune things out.

[00:20:34]>> Music during sex or music in general, >> anything. I think if I were to practice more, it would become habitualized. I'd let my brain let go of it knowing like it's there. My mind doesn't need to keep grabbing on to words or melodies or that sort of thing. And and maybe but >> and also I do have some flops in here that are about like the existential fear of death and it's like that would maybe make you come out of it >> if I was listen [laughter] to it. Yeah.

[00:20:57]And like in the way that I do think you consume a lot more music like actually I don't know if it's true. I don't think I like I don't know what I was going to say around like I feel like my ear gets pulled more strongly to like lyrics and stuff like you often are like I don't know the lyrics. Yeah.

[00:21:12]>> Like words are like distracting to me and it like pulls my ear. It's hard for my brain not to like cling on to >> Well, recently I've been doing a lot more writing like actually doing this job for the first time in years.

[00:21:23][laughter] >> And I have found the uh new Madonna album quite helpful cuz it's simple.

[00:21:30]It's literally like dance is good. And [laughter] then also like friends have been sending me sort of like after Pride I was like do I like house music? And so they're just sending me like house music and you're like oh this is so easy to work to cuz I do get distracted if I'm doing the new music Friday on Spotify and try to write. It's really hard cuz your your brain's like whoa what genre is this? Whoa. What is it? Who's that?

[00:21:54]And it pulls you away for sure. So, I actually can only work with playlists that I have built that are so repetitive. So, the songs when they come on, I'm like, "Oh, I know this song so well, so I don't have to think about it."

[00:22:05]>> You're not like getting, you're not anticipating. It's like your brain already knows where to place it.

[00:22:09]>> And it's like, obviously, I can't do Rosalia. It's like way too powerful. Or like other types of music where you're like, "These lyrics are distracting cuz you're like >> they're so meaningful to you." Yeah.

[00:22:19]>> Demi Lovado's new album on the other hand, like, you know what I mean? you can kind of like, okay, like a simple pop song. I'm not having to think like, you know, like the dance floor is everything. That's a simple thought.

[00:22:30]>> Yeah.

[00:22:30]>> Even though it's deep, quote unquote, it's the simple thought.

[00:22:32]>> Well, next I really want to go into for people like me, what does matter almost the most to me is the visual aesthetic of the room.

[00:22:42]>> Okay. Wo.

[00:22:44]>> And so >> of the room. Okay. Cuz I'm just like you're talking about of like the person's body.

[00:22:50]I really need like six-pack abs and like a huge pec and like hair that's me from Beauty and the Beast type body.

[00:22:57]Everyone's like, "Okay, cool." Really great science.

[00:23:00]>> Henry Cavl.

[00:23:01]>> No, I mean like the lighting matters to me. The atmosphere like a messy room is a turnoff. Like I would rather cuz you've joked before like me cleaning up before >> we had [laughter] someone over. We're modern. We're a modern couple and I've never seen Mitch clean. What do you mean you never clean?

[00:23:21]>> No, in the manic way you did.

[00:23:23]>> This was like Pride last year. Okay.

[00:23:24]>> And it was funny cuz I was like it's clean. Like the It's like I've never seen you be like wait the candle and it was like whoa. Like obviously I've seen you clean. I'm not saying. I just was like we're ready. And then it was just like the little like like eutramos.

[00:23:39]>> Well matter to you and I was just like >> the thing so in research both in subjective and physical arousal.

[00:23:48]So when people report something's arousing versus when they're being measured on their body, like is your body being aroused? Visual stimulus is always the fastest most direct path to genital vaso congestion.

[00:24:00]>> Wait, wait, wait, wait. What?

[00:24:01]>> So like seeing >> vasoc congestion?

[00:24:04]You mean congestion?

[00:24:06]>> No, congestion. You're you're getting engorged.

[00:24:08]>> Engorged. Okay, I'm hard.

[00:24:09]>> Okay, just Okay. Getting a hard boner or a [ __ ] Okay.

[00:24:12]>> Yeah, let's say that. That's more >> so obviously that makes sense when you picture like a naked body like visual stimuli is the fastest, right? Like faster than music.

[00:24:22]>> Henry Caval naked. Here we go.

[00:24:23]>> If you were and that's why the social media can be so not triggering, but it's like you can swipe and suddenly you just saw like the hottest person you've ever seen >> or some sexual imagery and now you're distracted.

[00:24:34]>> If you have your phone in front of you right now, throw it >> over the fence. [laughter] >> Um, but it can extend obviously beyond that as well. And so for me, like the visual environment matters a lot.

[00:24:45]>> Like the environment. Wow. Yeah.

[00:24:46]>> Yes. Like the space around you. And that's why it's so funny even outside of intimacy or sexual arousal like in our house and people make jokes about gay people like having no light in their house like always needing mood lighting.

[00:24:58]You can't see anything. But you are so the opposite. Greg is so overhead lighting blasting in the middle of the night. Every light on so bright. I'm like, so for me, the mood during the day, I want bright lights cuz I want to be over stimulated to like keep me working, keep me awake. As soon as it's getting dark out, I love to have just like cute little lamps on.

[00:25:18]>> Yeah. Your jump scare like when I come home from the dog and then you're like, "Hey." And I'm like, "Oh my god, like you're here." Like it's dark >> cuz it's like very It's not no longer as stimulating to me. It's not as distracting. It's like calming my nervous system.

[00:25:30]>> Oh my god. I'm actually like such a [ __ ] like >> You don't even think of that. Sometimes I walk upstairs and you're working in full blast overhead lighting and I'm just like >> well no I'm just like okay wow it's like okay the thing about being a gay guy is when you go to a hookup a lot of the time these places are pristine. I'm walking into condos homes and thinking was the cleaner just here cuz if not I need to rethink my disgusting life. That happens [laughter] I'd say 97% of the time. So, I just am realizing now it's like I am the really messy gay guy and I am the really overhead lighting gay guy and I've never even thought about lighting and it's like all I do is put on my sex playlist and hope to God that the mess around [laughter] will go away because Tasha is blasting.

[00:26:14]>> You're using that to distract from else you're just blasting music.

[00:26:18]>> I am just like holy [ __ ] I'm just like messy, lights on, like, and then I'm like, there's obviously the stereotype of like the really good top has like a messy room. Like, have you seen those like things online? It's like, you know, when a man's got this room and it's like Cheeto bags and like everything, it's like they're going to dick you down. And I'm like, that's just like toxic masculinity and like a straight guy and every like gay guys can dick you down good with the most gorgeous like barrel home you've ever seen. And actually, that's most of the time what's happening.

[00:26:48]>> Yeah.

[00:26:49]>> Yeah. Yeah, you are. And I'm I don't I don't have that gene to the extreme, but definitely like you've never lit like an incense center or whatever, whereas I'm like I want to feel that. That's why I love baths and stuff cuz it's like aromatherapy. Okay.

[00:27:01]>> I hate I hate remembering a >> another element of like the visual stimuli. People like me for example and maybe many others like need Well, everyone needs to feel safe in order to be aroused. Yeah.

[00:27:13]>> And so obviously an environment can impact this and safety is like subjective. Obviously, a messy room doesn't make me feel literally in danger, but it can be a visual distraction.

[00:27:23]>> Yeah. Or it can be a sign of someone maybe not taking care of themselves.

[00:27:29]>> True. And and like for someone like me who is sort of like a little more neurotic and anxious, it's like there are very specific sort of like frameworks in my mind and what the research shows that it's like >> I need a very structured situation in order to be feeling safe. That's why when we like go on the subway, not that I at all think the subway is like unsafe. I'm not trying to say that. It's an overstimulating environment, there's people everywhere. So if Greg's talking to me, like I am distracted.

[00:27:56]>> He literally cannot hear me on the subway. We've talked about this.

[00:28:00]>> But I know, but [laughter] it is just insane. It is just insane. It's like, okay, so actually I'll wait till we're home and then I'll keep talking about like [laughter] Trump or like whatever like generic thing of the day it is.

[00:28:11]It's like, oh wow. Or even the movie we just saw. I was like, "Well, chat went home." Because it's like, >> yeah, I'm over it's the same thing. So, like a message where I'm sitting in someone's lap by overly uh overly like brightly lit room. It's like there's a lot more for me to take in. And so the like distractedness is there. And that's why like lower lighting, the atmosphere feeling like soothing is like important to me, >> which is so good for people to understand who wants music during sex and who doesn't. It's like you want m you're more likely to want music during sex if maybe you need more stimulation.

[00:28:44]You are like >> used to stimulation whereas if you're like someone who overstimulated it's not going to be necessarily good.

[00:28:51]>> Yeah.

[00:28:52]>> I think it's like for me music soft is like totally fine. But I think >> like soft rock like Jan and >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jan Harden. No, I just meant like quiet music [laughter] over stimulating. There's probably a threshold.

[00:29:04]>> You like when Phoebe Brides comes on the sex playlist >> like maybe. Yeah, [laughter] >> let's give it a try. Um, >> maybe I should go to my bath playlist for our sex.

[00:29:14]>> Oh, totally >> interesting. Listening to Yoni and cigaros while you bang.

[00:29:19]>> I mean, that's a little weird, but maybe it'll work. I'm willing to try.

[00:29:23]>> It would be like a spiritual orgasm.

[00:29:25][laughter] It's giving >> Nothing wrong with that.

[00:29:27]>> No, there's nothing wrong with that.

[00:29:28]What about Katabrial Paco?

[00:29:30]>> Katrial Paco?

[00:29:31]>> I'm sure they're not that sexy.

[00:29:33]>> They have some sexy songs. They do, but they're most they're so interesting that they're kind of like I was just thinking about them cuz Sting was in their music video recently >> and he famously Do you remember when he went on Oprah and he told her that they have sex for 12 hours a day?

[00:29:47]>> I guess I've probably heard this but I don't famously remember that.

[00:29:50]>> And they put socks over the doororknob so the kids know not to go in cuz that's the room they're banging in. Like come on. That's pretty amazing.

[00:29:56]>> Yeah.

[00:29:57]>> Assuming it was true. It was from 1999.

[00:29:59][laughter] >> I feel like if you're saying in 99 it's true.

[00:30:02]>> Yeah.

[00:30:02]>> Right. Like at that point that would have been so subversive public so rich person it's like yeah okay like the amount of time when do you eat I guess you're eating each other >> all right can I move on to the final olfactory sensations >> so smell >> this is smell obviously you can imagine why oh and I I never said this earlier but like going back to what was the phrase that I used for crossmodal cues I know you all understood what I meant by that but it's like the way well that was when like Music can make your body feel sexualized like the cues from one thing.

[00:30:37]But I wanted to give one other example which is like if something looks gross it can impact how it tastes, right? Like how sometimes an input from one form of stimulation can actually impact your impression in another.

[00:30:50]>> 100%.

[00:30:51]>> So that obviously goes with olfactory as well, right? Like if something smells bad >> or good, it can impact not only like your comfort level, it can impact your sexual arousal level. It can impact like a lot of things.

[00:31:04]>> And this is where gay guys and musk becomes very interesting.

[00:31:08]>> Totally. Yeah. Like some and it may not just be gay guys, but obviously we're aware of >> gay guys are the ones that we're the most aware of. There are stinky men amidst us. I do >> stinky. I do think this stinky gay guy musk thing is probably related to something similar to this music during sex thing where if you need to be over stimulated and you like being stimulated the musk adds a stimulation totally.

[00:31:28]>> If you're someone who's not wanting music who who gets distracted by that the musk is probably not something you're interested in.

[00:31:34]>> Totally.

[00:31:34]>> So I'd be more likely to be into musk than you.

[00:31:37]>> Yes. Like I can barely wear hand cream and without being like I can't focus cuz it smells too much. [laughter] >> Yeah. True. I like sometimes come in at night with like face cream on and he's like like wakes up and he's like what is going on? I'm like I put on like Nivea [laughter] and I'm like you're going to have to wash your hands. You're going to have to get that off cuz I can't sleep now.

[00:31:54]>> Okay. So now I'm going to I'm going to instead of when I rub up next to a stinky gay guy, my instinct might be whoa. I'm going to be like oh maybe I'm into this because I'm Mr. Stimul.

[00:32:05]>> Maybe. There's also an element of like I'm not judging this by the way cuz I think with the right person it probably works in the way that there's lots of studies that show like >> your enjoyment of somebody's smell is actually like often even like an evolutionary biioarker for your compatibility like that stuff. I know it's a little bit soft science but it's interesting to find like and we've talked about this as well in a video a long time ago. We did smell tests of like smelly dirty gym clothes from friends and each other and we didn't know who's who and we both picked each other. A thought that was really cute.

[00:32:35]And it's like, yeah, I probably even when I can objectively be like, "Oh, you have BO." It probably smells less bad to me than most other people's BO that I would be less attracted to.

[00:32:43]>> Although, every time I've had Bio, you've been like, "You stink. Let's get that under control." [laughter] I've never heard you be like, "Oo, let me smell."

[00:32:49]>> I'm saying relative. I'm not saying I think it's good. [laughter] Um, okay.

[00:32:53]But smell is really interesting because it bypasses the phalamus, which is your brain's sensory relay station. It goes straight to your amydala and hippocampus.

[00:33:03]>> It's why it's memory vibes.

[00:33:05]>> Yeah. Emotion and memory. And so you can see why that's smell can be such an important part of a sexual experience.

[00:33:11]Again, it could really make you feel safe or not. We can all imagine like bad smells that would turn us off and immediately stop arousal versus like smells that feel inviting and make you want to go >> for example.

[00:33:25]when something's bad like your amigdala literally files sorry fires a threat or discomfort signal >> and you know like I can imagine personally like a bad smell immediately making me not aroused. You could go from aroused to not aroused, right?

[00:33:40]>> Okay, we need to do an episode on musk muskiness and like why there's a sexual arousal there because in this moment I can't really figure out exactly why. Not to be Where's the button?

[00:33:53]cancelled. I think like >> it's not >> it's not ever worked for me. And that doesn't mean that like it's so funny.

[00:34:00]I'm like so scared, but I'm like why am I scared?

[00:34:02]>> For me, but not >> wa You smelled the stinky guy in the ninja.

[00:34:05]>> No, I guess that's what I mean. Like I don't there's there's a degree I can appreciate a natural body odor, but I there's like a degree to which it now actually just smells too bad for me.

[00:34:18]Okay. Is this not gay guy? Now I'm like zooming out. I'm like, is this just a gay guy thing?

[00:34:23]>> I can't imagine the last time, you know what I mean? Like, I know the pockets of the gay community that are the musky stinkers.

[00:34:30]>> Okay. Yeah.

[00:34:31]>> And it's like, >> there's got to be the straight community has that.

[00:34:33]>> I'm just now reach out. But it's like, it's not really like tickling my brain in a way that I'm like, there's something up with that that's so interesting to me about gay men. And I've had to experience it >> in a way that's like interesting. And I am like that person's clearly trying to not smell >> like intentional. Yeah. And that totally is a thing. Like there are many people who openly say like I'm into this or I am this.

[00:34:56]>> Yeah. Exactly.

[00:34:57]>> So I think that like probably tags into like uh fetishes and and kinks and like pushing the boundary. And lots of gay men are hypersexualized. We've talked about that before. Like we're often talking about sex and thinking about sex with gay male friends specifically. You know what I mean? like it just comes up and so it's probably like baby steps towards pushing any boundary.

[00:35:19]>> And if this is about the smell of the environment, it's like yeah, maybe a smelly nice >> person is different than a smelly apartment.

[00:35:25]>> Yes, totally.

[00:35:26]>> It's a little bit more like >> Yeah. If you walked into somewhere and it smelt like there's been garbage rotting for 3 weeks, [laughter] >> you would be like that's actually stinky.

[00:35:35]>> But you know that top going to dick you down. But there probably are some you could probably condition yourself if you had to do it all the time to start >> your best the best top that's the best at [ __ ] you down always smells like garbage in their apartments. Every time you smell garbage in their apartment you're like I'm going to get digged down.

[00:35:48]>> Like literally back to love.

[00:35:50]>> Yeah. Um to sort of wrap up the science section overall, but related to this alactory, it's like people who prefer visual and alactory systems they believe have more of like a topdown system of arousal because all these other conditions need to be sort of like correct before they can actually relax and become aroused. Whereas the music side of it, it's actually like amplifying your arousal from like the bottom up. Do you know what I mean? Like almost subconsciously impacting your body. bottom up.

[00:36:20]>> So that and I'm sure everyone has a bit of everything, right? Like I think also Olactory could maybe be sexy if you're into like specific smells.

[00:36:27]>> I panic visual >> when there isn't music during sex. I panic. I literally am like cuz you feel panic at the disco like it's way too silent. Like it's what are you going to hear? Like >> it's like I would Ray rather have Omar on [laughter] >> Bad Bunny like keeping me there. Like yeah I want Bad Bunny around when I'm having sex. better than like a siren >> or what do you mean a siren?

[00:36:52]>> Whatever the sounds of outside are like it's like I would way rather be like we're in a club, we're doing this together. This is such a vibe.

[00:36:58]>> And I and using the music to like actually kind of like dance, make the sex like fluid, fun, and then Yeah. like not having music, it's like oh my god, it's scary to me. And it's very bottom up. It's like I need it >> to get me there. Yes.

[00:37:12]>> Cuz if it's not, it's fine. But then it's like everything else has to really be working.

[00:37:15]>> Yeah. And I am like it can't it can be there but it can't be distracting because I'm coming from the top down being like the environment I have to feel safe and ready to be aroused >> and it can't it can't be loud or like it can't be like >> Yeah. And I think part of it is just getting used to it. Like I I obviously mentioned it a little bit before but there's sort of an embarrassing performative part [clears throat] of sex music to me like in the act.

[00:37:39]>> But that's your that's your >> that's my shame or something. Yeah. But but anything, you know, when you're not used to something like it's the same as if you're suddenly asked to dance in front of people, it's like deeply embarrassing.

[00:37:50]>> I would rather die.

[00:37:51]>> Yeah. Or if you have to like perform a monologue and you're not an actor, you're going to feel like extremely self-conscious. So to like >> if you have never really like grinded to music before and suddenly you're like in a bed having to grind, it feels like you're performing. I'm not saying like you. I'm talking about me and people who probably feel this way is like I feel like I'm putting on an act and it's kind of silly that we're like dancing to music while we have sex because I'm not used to it.

[00:38:15]>> But okay, so now this goes back to my famous theory. If you cannot dance on the dance floor, you cannot kiss or have good sex. This is something that I think is worth thinking about studying >> so that you cannot waste your time when you're at the club. It's a great place to see people's physicality, see how they move, see their rhythm. And I think that the music during sex thing is a a place where I can also understand if I'm like, "Oh, this person's good at sex."

[00:38:40]If they can kind of like >> get into the music with me, then you can create an energy. If they can't, mostly white people, they can't dance. Well, >> I don't know if that's true or not. I I don't have like the cross.

[00:38:52]>> This is just from my ane this is anecdata anecdotes. And we're not going to use the anecdot say anything too much with it. Huberman/jo, but this is anecdata. It's like I do find that there is like >> a correlation between being able to move and being >> dance and grind and being good at kissing and being good at sex.

[00:39:12]>> And so music it's like okay like if you're good at sex you should be able to grind to this.

[00:39:16]>> Yeah. And >> unless of course it's overstimulating you and then it's taking you out of it.

[00:39:19]I mean the argument like I do fully agree with that in the in the terms of like when somebody can be like sensual and flowy with their body it's a sign of >> and you can dance like you're lucky you're not someone who's like >> yes but my only sort of like caveat to that is like everyone finds different things hot and attractive and so someone's form of a good kiss may actually not be like a dancy sort of kiss.

[00:39:45]>> True.

[00:39:45]>> I can't imagine why someone would want like an >> Yeah. That's more like a snake poke in and out. Like, yeah, that's great for snakes.

[00:39:51]>> Maybe maybe some people like kiss and would be like the other one's too much.

[00:39:56]It's like >> like stop trying with your tongue.

[00:39:59]You're being ridiculous.

[00:40:01]>> So, in that sense, I'm like kissing is also subjective and maybe good dancing is as well. I see what you're saying and I agree. Like people who feel comfortable with their body, it's a sign that they're comfortable as well and know know their body. Like once you learn to dance and move and are free with that, it's like that's a sign that you are comfortable with it.

[00:40:22]>> Um, but I don't think that's the be all end all of like someone being a good intimate partner.

[00:40:26]>> No, I'm obviously being hyperbolic on a podcast and blah blah blah, but I'm just saying like >> y'all can take that when you're at the club. A lot of the time when you're at the club, especially a gay club, it's like who you want to kiss, who you want to whatever. And it's just like >> someone being able to dance is just a really good indication that they're going to be able to kiss.

[00:40:45]>> Mhm.

[00:40:46]>> And also have good sex with music on.

[00:40:49][laughter] >> And on that note, I think that's all the signs I have. Are there any other like anecdotes or stories you had?

[00:40:55]>> Okay, you're How do I get people to sex playlist? Like I've spent hours creating how do I give it to you? You can have it. It's on Spotify.

[00:41:02]>> We more than ever are in a good system.

[00:41:04]We can put a link to this in the show notes as well as like the YouTube description and stuff, right?

[00:41:10]>> I'm linkable that way.

[00:41:12]>> So at technology that's for some reason my Spotify is linked through my Facebook and I haven't been on Facebook in like 13 years. So I have no idea how to sign into Spotify. So it's just stuck.

[00:41:23]>> Oh, cuz you're using Facebook or like it's >> and like Facebook's so annoying. They're like, "Oh, if you want to change, you have to go on Facebook." I'm like, "Well, I don't know how to go on Facebook." I haven't been on Facebook in forever. And in fact, I don't know my Facebook p like I can't get onto Facebook.

[00:41:35]>> So, >> we'll find a way. You just hit that share button.

[00:41:38]>> Yes. But I think that there's a way you could have like literally just typed in like Gregory Brown or >> No, no, we'll just We'll share the link.

[00:41:46]>> I'll share the link for like a full description here if you're interested in >> Side note podcast. Oh, on this on this YouTube video.

[00:41:53]>> That's what I'm saying.

[00:41:54]>> Wow.

[00:41:55]Oh my god. And then it's like, should I have like a club night in Toronto where it's called sex playlist and it's just like come if you want to grind?

[00:42:02]>> I think you need a better name. But yeah, you >> Well, the sad part about living in Toronto is it's like it is hard to find places to grind.

[00:42:10]>> I'm sure there are I mean, sorry, gay clubs maybe. I'm sure there's straight clubs where people are grinding.

[00:42:15]>> Yes, >> there's like and maybe there are gay ones, but there's just not as many gay options, I think. Well, also like everything gay is now like house and like trying to be Berlin and it's like can you relax and just like play grind music? [laughter] >> I mean I shouldn't I don't know if like saying play grind music is the right way to say it. It sounds kind of cheesy like going to a DJ. Can you play grind music?

[00:42:35]They're like >> I know what you mean, but >> yeah. Like I just think like >> Yeah. I don't really know what I'm trying to say.

[00:42:41]>> Anyway, we're going to share that for people.

[00:42:43]>> Yeah. Anything else you want to say?

[00:42:45]>> No, I don't think so. I think I got it out of me. So, I I think we should say I think I should say to you, maybe you understand me a little more. Sometimes I feel like >> the music doesn't have to be on. And if so, maybe what are some sex?

[00:42:58]>> We're learning to compromise. You think?

[00:43:00]>> Yeah. I think that's what I've got to like figure out what could work for me.

[00:43:02]>> You should make a sex playlist.

[00:43:04]>> But that would be very extremely hard for me.

[00:43:07]>> Why? What?

[00:43:07]>> Cuz like my most streamed song is like Zelda Loi.

[00:43:10]>> Well, what if it's that? [laughter] >> Cuz that's what I can work with.

[00:43:14]>> I don't find Zelda sexy. It's like actually that's like a lot of my interests growing up were not sexualized.

[00:43:20]>> Okay. Can you >> So I got to think about >> in this moment just try and think like what is a song that you've maybe heard ever or songs or doesn't have to be the right one that you were like kind of like oh that's kind I have to think about or >> it's hard for me on the spot.

[00:43:35]>> I know but I'm just asking. I mean we can edit we can edit the pause.

[00:43:41]Give an answer. Give an answer.

[00:43:44]I genuinely cannot think of like I obviously can think of artists that I would see as having sexy music.

[00:43:50]>> Like what? Like what? Just give us some.

[00:43:53]>> No.

[00:43:53]>> Like you can't think of one artist to say into the >> I don't Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.

[00:43:58]>> Really?

[00:43:58]>> Because I don't like you're just like Usher, but it's like yeah, I could say Usher, but I don't like I'm not like that.

[00:44:05]>> No, but I agree with Charlie X or like what?

[00:44:07]>> No, I would never feel like Charlie XX is like sexy music, >> right? like none of the music I listen to and I don't listen to that much music but obviously like you've gotten me to listen to lots of like Latin music >> like Bad Bunny and I'm like I can see that that's sexual music in some ways.

[00:44:24]Yeah.

[00:44:25]>> But I mostly like his sort of like more either Poppy or Cynthy or doesn't mean they're not sexy but it's to me I'm not >> seeing them from the lens of sexual vibe always. the Madonna album. I'm trying to think of reason. It's like Olivia Rodrigo's album. Like, no, >> I'm saying I can't think of it right now because this is also a really weird problem I have. I on the spot. I just can't come up with things. Like my brain had gone blank the second you even suggested this game.

[00:44:50]>> Whoa. Yeah. Know I saw you like look at me like you're like mad. I'm like, "Oh my god, I was I open up the floor."

[00:44:56]>> Well, I forget like literally my best friend's names. If someone's like, "And what's that person's name?" Like it's gone.

[00:45:01]>> Yeah. This is probably part of the reason why you can't have music.

[00:45:05]>> Recall. It's like I'd be a bad dog.

[00:45:07]Okay.

[00:45:08]>> Be a bad dog. Or they're going to say doctor.

[00:45:10]>> Dog. Well, yeah, that too. Any job that requires me to actually be able to pull something from my memory on the spot.

[00:45:16]Like Jeopardy is the worst possible game I can ever play.

[00:45:19]>> Yeah. You have an animosity to Jeopardy >> because it's like >> Yeah. I've always wanted to be that people who watch it at 7:30 and you're always like, "Now." And I'm always like, "Wo."

[00:45:27]>> Like it's not I just I can't I don't have that ability.

[00:45:31]>> Yeah. And I was like, I don't I'm like I was like, "We don't have to be the ones yelling. I just like watching people answer and you were just like I think it brings up something because it's recall.

[00:45:39]>> I mean I feel like you're over exaggerating how angry I was at.

[00:45:42]>> No, but I've always there was a time definitely watched a lot of Jeopardy.

[00:45:45]>> There was a time [laughter] during co where like Jeopardy was on at 7:30 and we' gotten cable and I was like people were kind of doing that.

[00:45:51]>> I was never like this is so fun we can be a part of that and like Jeopardy or had it just gone on Netflix something like that and you were like no way.

[00:45:59]>> Like that's boring to me.

[00:46:00]>> No I know but I'm real >> I'd rather real Fortune cuz it's more of a puzzle. I know, but I'm just I'm just saying in this moment, it's funny because I'm like, was it a triggering recall show? Wheel of Fortune is a little bit more of a gradual like, okay, we're building Wheel of Fortune is not a recall show. I mean, it is partially that's why I like strategy shows cuz it's all about what you can do in the moment with >> you don't need previous information.

[00:46:22]>> Wow.

[00:46:23]>> It's like I don't I'm really bad I I don't really love trivia because I like can't recall things in the moment when we're having a conversation. I'm not being like asked to do it on the spot.

[00:46:32]Of course, I have like the ability to remember things, but if someone says like like, "What's the name of that band from 1972 that has this hit song?" Like my brain will just freeze.

[00:46:44]>> Yeah.

[00:46:45]>> Sometimes it's there, but a lot of times it's hard for me.

[00:46:46]>> Well, what's interesting about trivia, which I never realized, and it's like for those like listening, it's like this sort of relates to music, but maybe not.

[00:46:55]But at my camp there was a big Trivial Pursuit like competition and the people who were so good at it like I had a similar thing where I'd panic and like they're like no the thing about trivia that's actually is that it's a logic puzzle.

[00:47:08]>> You're not actually trying to think of the answer. You're trying to think of what would be the best answer based on your knowledge.

[00:47:13]>> Okay.

[00:47:14]>> Which I found really interesting.

[00:47:15]They're like in the question they're giving you context clues and you're not just trying to be like oh I know that.

[00:47:20]you're actually going, "Okay, based on what they've said, I know these things.

[00:47:25]Therefore, my most logical guess is this, which makes it less of an on the spot energy." And I remember after they told me that starting to enjoy trivia more cuz I thought it was a binary I either know or >> it's it's a riddle because they're like and I was like, "Wow, that's so much more interesting." And it also takes away that recall stress that I was having of like, >> "Wait, well, I don't know because I don't know what that is." Like, "No, but what do you know about this?" I suppose, but it still requires like a very specific kind of knowledge and recall to have the name of something.

[00:47:55]>> Yeah. But like um >> I would never be able to guess the name of like the amount of like authors names I've heard, but I don't have any of them in my mind except for like the most famous ones of all time.

[00:48:06]>> But like say >> even that like I would forget like JR Tolken or whatever in the moment I would be like what's his name?

[00:48:13]>> Yeah.

[00:48:13]>> Stress.

[00:48:14]>> Totally. Totally. But I just think like Yeah. There's like, wow, that's so interesting. Recommend like think like wishes there was that an episode.

[00:48:22]>> Sure recently scare you.

[00:48:24]>> I need a doctor for that.

[00:48:27]>> No, wait. No, no, it's not like why it's fine.

[00:48:31]>> Memory has always been a massive issue in my life. Not actually a massive issue, but like a constant thing that I just like have a hard time remembering things.

[00:48:38]>> Yeah. But that's okay.

[00:48:39]>> I think it is okay. Yeah, >> I don't feel like it's like so bad in my life, but I >> I haven't found a lot of I'd just be curious to talk about what what that's about and if I do if I need to think about that at all or not.

[00:48:50]>> Yeah. No, I don't think I don't think you need to based on like >> my assumption at the end of the day is like it comes down to being like a hyper sensitive slightly like anxious person.

[00:48:59]So like I'm taking in so much all the time it's hard to actually like remember things. So it is related to sex, music during sex in the sense that you don't want music during sex cuz you are so overstimulated and you just add like it is that I see that it's why you don't remember things cuz we do things that you forget cuz you're in your head about something else the whole time.

[00:49:17]>> Yeah.

[00:49:17]>> And then you forget about the thing whereas it's like >> I want music during sex cuz I need more stimulation. So I am trying to take things in all the time cuz I'm like hello life's boring [laughter] like yeah. Okay. We will put the playlist in the description. I'm obsessed with music during sex.

[00:49:35]>> Yeah, it was a fun episode. It's >> cool that there's actual science on that.

[00:49:38]>> I know. I love that. Hope everyone found it interesting. And let us know your favorite sex songs as well. If is if you can think of one white culture sex sexy dance.

[00:49:48]>> One white [laughter] culture sexy dance.

[00:49:54][laughter] >> Dip your hand in a sand. I mean, at a certain point, maybe those were like sexy and like the women were like showing their ankles for the first time.

[00:50:05][laughter] >> Um, okay. Yeah. Go off to like 1930s.

[00:50:10]Um, I love the like modern people who still do that in bars. They're like, "Want to come to my fy show?"

[00:50:16]>> I love that. I That's fun. And not all dance has to be sexy.

[00:50:19]>> Yeah, true. But that is the white people being sexy. They might think they're being sexy. I mean, you're like dragging them so hard. You're like, "No, everyone has to be sexy." They're like, "We are sexy." [laughter] >> You're like, "Oh."

[00:50:30]>> Like, "Oh, >> that's great. Not everyone has to do something sexy." Like, "We're doing the fy. It's sexy."

[00:50:36]>> And yeah, asapscience.com/hat.

[00:50:38]Write in about whether you like sex during music or music during sex and your sex songs, etc. And we will just play them on the pond list because we have an upcoming >> callin voice note app. We have lots of interesting ones. And if you leave comments on the video and Spotify as well, we'll we'll we'll pull some from there, too. So, >> don't even ask us anything.

[00:50:56]>> Yeah, of course.

[00:50:57]>> Uh but I want to know what your sex songs are so that I can get my 10hour playlist to 12 >> to 12 hours and then sting tantric sex.

[00:51:06]>> Okay. of Bye.