INSECURE MEN EXPOSE HOW DANGEROUS THEY ARE TO WOMEN🥴🤨 AN INSECURE MAN WILL DRAIN YOUR SOUL‼️💔🤦‍♀️

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-18

[00:00:00]This might sound cold, might sound super strict. I don't care. I'm big on loyalty. I'm big on respect. You smile at another man while we in a relationship, it's over.

[00:00:13]I hope that smile was worth it cuz it's over. I don't want you no more. Like, you're not attracted to me no more. I just don't want you no more. It's really that simple.

[00:00:22]>> You're right. It does sound cold. It does sound strict. It also sounds controlling. It sounds toxic. It sounds like you're insecure. Sounds like the only way you believe you can keep a woman is if she's afraid of you. I bet you tell her what to do. I bet you don't want her to make eye contact with anybody unless you give her permission to speak. And let me guess, you don't want her to work because if she works, then you don't know she might be smiling at her coworker or smiling at a customer or a client. I bet there's no girls night because you can't watch her if she's out with her friends and they may be smiling at men. Only an extremely insecure man has to have this much control over a woman he says he loves.

[00:00:57]But I bet you be out here showing all 32 of your teeth. You don't want a woman to love you. You want a woman to fear you.

[00:01:02]That's what I heard.

[00:01:03]>> An insecure man will kill you. His jealousy is not love. He's developing enough resentment to kill you.

[00:01:11]>> An insecure man will never let you be happy. He's going to always make you think that you're the problem. Big or small, there's always something wrong with what you're doing. He will blame you for just about every reason why the relationship is going left. He is not mature or adult enough to admit that he's the problem. He's always going to make up some lame reason why something's going wrong between you. Do you really have to wear that outfit? Who you dressing so nice for? I mean, you could go to the gym, but do you really need to? I don't know. I just feel like you're acting different. Like, when'd you start going to the gym? Did you change the passcode on your phone? What do you think of sharing locations? I noticed you follow these guys. Do you What's that about? And even after you make the tons of changes that he asks you to make, he's still going to have a problem. He's just going to keep adding more and more and more to the point that you have nothing left and you're just trapped in your house alone like Rapunzel.

[00:02:02]>> Ladies, let's have a chat about insecure men.

[00:02:07]A lot of you believe that insecure men are only jealous men and that insecure men are men that easily get jealous and they hate seeing you interact with other men and that's the least of your worries.

[00:02:22]There are a few things that you guys need to be really careful of about insecure men.

[00:02:28]Insecure men have a tendency of ruining your lives or derailing the progress of your lives or not making you guys reach the destinations that a lot of you really need to reach because a lot of you have potential. A lot of you are very are very highly intelligent. So insecure men have a tendency of talking you guys out of your dreams. They will manipulate you to a point where they break your spirit. They make sure that you guys do not believe in yourselves.

[00:02:58]They'll make it they'll always have this tone about them where they they make you have a disbelief in yourself and they'll make it as if like your goals are not attainable and that if you prioritize your future, you don't love them. They always want to be in control over your lives and they they want to hover around you. And they will then get to the second part of this video where they give you children. If you're in the position right now as a female and you are with a man that he understands as as himself that you want to do stuff with your life and he wants to push to give you a child, run, my sister. Insecure men are the worst. They're the biggest cheaters. They're the biggest cheaters.

[00:03:37]They want themselves to be the only ones who are cheating. Cheat on them. You'll see. Ladies, there's a pattern that insecure men have. And once you see it, you can't unsee it. This pattern will drain you if you don't catch it early.

[00:03:49]An insecure man isn't dangerous because he's evil. He's dangerous because he's empty. And he uses you to feel full. He loves the version of you that makes him feel chosen. But the moment your confidence shows, the moment your light gets too bright, he starts confusing your strength with a threat. He won't say, "I'm scared. I'm not enough." He'll just suddenly act like you're too much to deal with. That's why he gets quiet when you're leveling up. Insecure men don't break up with you. They break you down. Slowly, subtle until you start questioning the things that he used to adore about you. And here's the part nobody tells you. He's not pulling away because he stopped caring. He's pulling away from you because being loved by you exposes.

[00:04:37]>> So, ladies, in this video, we are going to be seeing how dangerous an insecure man can be. You know, a man whose self-esteem is low can actually analy you. Yes, it can get that bad. And if you're in a relationship and you think that the person you're dealing with is insecure, this is the video for you. Do not ignore the red flags. But anyways, let me not tremble too much in the beginning. Let's get right into the video.

[00:05:05]>> I used to not truly understand just how insecure some men can actually be.

[00:05:10]That's until I saw a man's insecurity in action real time. The other day I was at this restaurant getting lunch with a friend and sitting right next to us was this couple presumably on a date and they were sitting close enough to us that we could kind of overhear their conversation. They were like done their meal, got the check, and the girl sitting there to her boyfriend was like, "Oh, I paid last time. It's your turn to pay the check." This dude with like the heaviest vocal fry I've ever heard goes, "Oh yeah, I got you." And he takes the check. He takes one look at the check and then he pats his pockets like looking for his wallet and goes, "Babe, I got some bad news." Without hesitation, his girlfriend goes, "You forgot your wallet in the car, didn't you?" Goes, "Babe, you read my mind. Do you want me to go out to the car and grab my wallet?" Sounding so let down, she goes on to tell him like, "No, no, it's okay. I'll I'll just pay for it." I kid you not, he goes on to tell her, "I owe you a solid, babe." Couple moments later, he goes on to be like, "Babe, can we like do the thing?" And I'm thinking to myself like like what's the thing?

[00:06:09]Sounding so defeated though, she goes on to be like, "Yeah, we we can do the thing." I then proceed to see her handing her credit card over to him underneath the table. He then puts her credit card into like the check folder thing, making it seem like he was paying for the meal. And I'm thinking to myself, like, why do you care so much?

[00:06:26]Like, isn't that embarrassing to you? To make matters worse, the girlfriend is like way out of his league. like she is Zenaia level pretty and he's acting like this around somebody he doesn't even deserve. But looking back like who is he really fooling? Because I saw everything that happened and the waiter can see a name on the credit card so they know he's not paying. The most dangerous type of guy out there to date it is actually an insecure and emotionally immature man. And the reason why I say that it is the most dangerous type is because they will cause you an immense amount of hurt and trauma. Because insecure men will always blame you for anything that happens. You're always going to be the person that they are going to almost use as a punch bag to release all of this insecurities and all of this energies.

[00:07:16]Like anything that you do and say is going to trigger this insecurity within the ego of the person. And when you try to fix things and try to make things better, the emotionally immatured personality comes out, which means that the insecurity will prevent him from actually having a a decent relationship.

[00:07:39]And the emotionally immaturity will also prevent him from fixing it and communicating it. One thing I look for when it comes to a man is to know if he's insecure is the double standard.

[00:07:50]That is right. The double standard. It's when you're with him, is he able to do things that you can't? When you're with him, he's able to have all the privileges and have no restriction, but you can't do anything. The whole you could have no guy friends, but I could have female friends. I could go out on the weekends and not text you, but you better text me all the time and take photos of where you're at. And you always feel stressed. You always feel worried. You always think, is he going to be upset or he's going to be angry?

[00:08:23]And he's probably not even your man. And why it's such a red flag is because it says two things. It says, one, yes, he's insecure. And two, he's projecting. That is right. He's freaking projecting. That means that he's doing things that he does not want you to do. It's more than just talking to female friends. It's more than just not texting you, even though he's just busy. He knows what he's doing and he doesn't want you to do it. And that is why he's projecting.

[00:08:48]Sometimes when you're in a relationship with a man that's insecure and you're confident, you're going to disturb his spirit. Because if he isn't interested in learning from you, taking a few notes, eventually he's going to make you out to be a problem. And sometimes insecure guys will do that on purpose.

[00:09:01]They'll date these confident, progressive women and then try to make them less. And it's weird because they like the fact that you're great. They just don't want everybody else to know.

[00:09:11]So slowly, you'll notice the compliments start to go away. The affection starts to turn off. You become more of a problem for the same things that you were loved for in the beginning. You used to like this about me. Now all of a sudden you got a problem with it. In fact, sometimes he'll even go to insulting you about it. And sometimes he'll try to make you feel like you're not enough.

[00:09:31]>> And an insecure man is possibly the worst thing that could happen to a secure woman. As a secure woman, you literally cannot date an insecure man because every chance they get, they will try to humble you. Stick with me.

[00:09:47]Insecure men resent themselves because they aren't where they want to be at in life and they feel like you could be doing much better than them. They know that you deserve better. insecure men especially that you know maybe aren't doing so well or you know maybe hit a rough patch. They know especially when a woman is secure within herself and she's constantly reaching new heights and reaching new opportunities and her aura naturally attracts other people. People are naturally gravitated towards her energy and her aura. They don't like that. It's like a jealousy thing for them and then they start to resent you because you are always the center of attention naturally. an insecure man.

[00:10:28]They will always try to humble you. They will always try to start unnecessary arguments or disagreements every chance they get because they're not secure within themselves. Baby, I'm not worried about nobody else. If I [ __ ] with you, you shouldn't be worried about who trying to [ __ ] with me because I [ __ ] with you. But the only person that can [ __ ] that up is you. So tread lightning cuz that insecure [ __ ] is the easiest way to push a secure woman away. Dang it. Okay, so I just got to the nail salon and it was really making me think about how one time I remember I had a boyfriend that literally never wanted me to get my nails in or my hair done. And I'm telling you, there's nothing more that an insecure man wants than for you to remain insecure and like just wants you to remain looking ungroomed, unwell.

[00:11:10]Like why don't you want me to look hot?

[00:11:12]Because you're insecure. So I'm just saying if your man does anything like that, leave him. Woman to woman, nothing is more scary than an insecure man. An insecure man will literally send you to the depths of hell. Okay, I have never had a man ever make me insecure until I was dating an insecure man that I didn't even realize was insecure. He was liking pictures of girls, etc., because he thought that I was out with guys. So, to make himself feel better, he was like liking these pictures of girls. When I found this out, I then started to compare myself to the women of um the photos that he was liking. Guys, I'm built like a literal pencil, okay? He's liking pictures of BBL [ __ ] I'm then hating my body. I'm thinking my face is not good enough. I'm looking at women thinking, "Oh my god, would he find her attractive? He wouldn't find me attractive." Like, it literally sent me so far down. I had to build my confidence back up again. Like, that literally took me the [ __ ] out. And after that, I will never ever ever deal with an insecure man like that. No. Any advice on your hair, makeup, wigs, whatever, makeup versus natural.

[00:12:24]Any suggestions about how you present yourself after they already came on to you, thought you were beautiful, and wanted to get to know you better. If after that they come up with some new suggestions about why you shouldn't wear this much makeup or why you should wear your hair this way instead of that way that means they are insecure and probably feminine because they cannot stand the competition that are you know that other men are going to you know come on to you. So another one they were your looks were good enough to pull them in and get them but now after they've been with you for a second they want you to change when they're trying to tell you what to wear and what not to wear. That's a red flag for insecure and feminine. And you know one thing about the insecure man, sometimes he may start off as though he's very confident, very charismatic, the most charming man you can ever think of until he's not. Once you catch feelings for him, once you actually, you know, get in a relationship, then you are going to know that it was all a facade. That man is very insecure and he's going to drag you to the pits of hell with him. He is going to become your biggest nightmare. men will bring you down to the level that they are at.

[00:13:33]And if he doesn't feel good within himself, he's going to make sure that he pulls you down with him. It doesn't matter how much confidence you have as a woman if you deal with this kind of man.

[00:13:44]At some point, you are also going to get insecure. You are also going to begin to doubt yourself like his energy is going to rub off on you because first of all, the things they are going to be saying to you will eat away at your confidence.

[00:13:59]an insecure person projects their insecurities onto you, onto the people they are around, you are also going to begin to doubt yourself. You are also going to go down to his level. And once you've called feelings for him, it is going to be so hard for you to walk away. It is going to be so like you're always going to feel like you must pour into him, you know, you must participate in that pity party. They love to play victim like they are going to drain you because you are always going to feel obligated to pour and speak life into them while they are draining you. And the sad part is that while you're lifting them up, they are tearing you down. You may give them all the words of affirmation they want to hear, they will never say it back to you. You know, they are going to be pointing out all your flaws. They are going to be pointing out all the things they don't like about you because they don't want you to feel like you're up there. They don't want you to feel like you're better than them. You must feel as shitty as they do about themselves. You know, you must feel as low as they feel. So, it doesn't matter how much you try to lift them up. It doesn't matter how much you try to, you know, speak life into them, give them all these words of affirmation, they are still going to drag you down. they are still going to talk down on you because they want to pull you from up, you know, from that pedestal store down to their level.

[00:15:26]>> So, what I mean by that is this.

[00:15:29]Insecure men constantly doubt their own abilities.

[00:15:33]>> When you doubt your own abilities, you're constantly trying to find things to be sensitive about with everything that your woman does.

[00:15:42]>> Everything. And when a man who is insecure constantly believes it is a competition >> between him and his partner, >> anytime that she shines brighter than him, he's going to find a way to try and make her modest in order to protect his fragility. Yeah. The moment your man starts asking you for the passwords to your social media accounts, to have access to your phone, to have access to your location, and starts questioning everything that you do, you're either going to have to one, leave that man, or two, and hope that he changes. You're with an insecure, toxic man that's going to constantly project his own insecurities on you. It's not because he cares about you or not because it builds trust in a relationship. It's because he's insecure as [ __ ] Give him your password. Give him access to your phone.

[00:16:28]Give him access to your messages, everything. He's still going to doubt you, and he's still going to accuse you of cheating on him. He's still going to claim that you're doing something behind his back, even though you've given him everything that he needed to feel confident enough to know that you're not.

[00:16:40]>> The jealous and insecure man is incredibly disorienting to a woman and needs to be spoken about. Now, this isn't the man that's insecure about other men. This is the man that's insecure about you as a woman. Show me a woman that's excellent, and I will show you a man that's trying to convince her she's not, and it'll be this man. They will make you feel strangely about yourself in a way no other man has. At the end of the day, other men find this man weird, too, but they don't understand the half of it because it's mostly done when they're alone with women. They'll say things like, "Yeah, you're really pretty, but have you ever noticed that your teeth are too big for your mouth?" Like, "Yeah, you got a great body, but your arms are really hairy. Yeah, I love that outfit, but those are some big shoes. You got some clown feet." Things that no one else notices, they will try to pick up on just to make you just a little insecure.

[00:17:17]Just like a little jab, a little jab.

[00:17:19]And the first few kind of fly under the radar. And then when you're running at five, like five really weird out of nowhere, they catch you up hard. You're like, "Wait a minute." In order to notice these things, you must hate me.

[00:17:29]You have to hate me to notice these things. And I hesitate to say it like this, but it's like the normal masculine man. It's like they're not detail oriented enough to pick up on these weird things that they're going to attack you about. It's like, "You're smart, but not smarter than me. Oh, wow.

[00:17:42]Great outfit. You You really love fast fashion." Like, it gives Regina George.

[00:17:46]And the ultimate goal is for you to feel weird about yourself. Wow. feel so lucky that they would hang out with somebody with so many flaws. They want to feel superior to you. And if you ever say anything, "Wow, you're super insecure.

[00:17:55]Wow." For you to even I was just joking around. Add sensitive to the list. I was just like bantering. No, girls love banter. Girls love banter. That's not banter. It's weirdo behavior. They can say that they're poking fun, but the reason why they can't pull it off is because they're not doing it in good faith. Get away from these people immediately.

[00:18:10]>> An insecure man will try to destroy the things he loves about you. Why, you may ask? because he knows that older men are attracted to the same qualities that he noticed in you. So, if you're playful, charismatic, and have a great circle of friends, many times he will isolate you and slowly dim your light. And once you become codependent, boring, he will say that he lost attraction for you without even understanding that he was the one who caused it.

[00:18:37]>> If you want to go ahead and ruin your life and ruin all the progress you ever made on anything in your life, ruin how hot you are, ruin everything, you will talk to an insecure man.

[00:18:47]Everybody I know who's going through it, they're going through it because they're with an insecure man. An insecure man will drag you through the mud. Make sure that you are miserable at every step of the way, rob your beauty, make your hair fall out, make you either skinny, skinny, skinny or lo gain a lot of weight. An insecure man will eat at your confidence and blame you for all of their life problems. And you can't save them. you can't save anything about them. The enemy will send you a man that will cause you to dim your light. For example, say that you're a people's person. Say that people love you. People are just drawn to you. Like, let's say that people love to be around you or maybe you have a job that causes you to interact with a lot of people and your partner is always bothered by that. They always have something to say. Then that man was not sent from God. He was sent from the enemy to dim your light.

[00:19:43]Because one thing about it, when you are dating an insecure person, then you are going to have to alter yourself to make them feel comfortable. The enemy is going to send you someone that looks exactly how you want them to look.

[00:19:55]They're doing all the right things to make you love them. And then here go the little comments. He start complaining about the way you show up in the world, the way you interact with others. You're too friendly. And here you go, deming your light, not walking in your purpose because of an insecure man. Dating an insecure man will ultimately be your downfall as a woman. Because here's the thing, right? Extremely insecure men, they don't just deal with their insecurities on their own and don't project them onto other people. These extremely insecure men project them onto their girlfriends. Whenever a man gets into a relationship with a woman that he feels insecure around, that he feels like he is worse than, that he feels like she deserves better. This is also why whenever they're like, "Oh, you deserve better than me." It's not a compliment. It means that he's ultimately going to treat you worse because he feels inadequate next to you.

[00:20:46]>> If you start helping an insecure man who thinks his life revolves around his finances, don't be surprised when that man turns around and resents you. If that man thinks deep down his finances is what makes him a [ __ ] man, you better not help him. You better not step in that situation because your empathy and all of your love is going to be taken for granted. He's going to take it and then turn around and then start bullshitting, start arguments with you.

[00:21:17]Literally get somewhat jealous of that [ __ ] energy.

[00:21:22]Because in this world, in this society, they tell men what you need to be able to provide and protect. And if you can't provide, you got no business even dating.

[00:21:33]So when he gets in this relationship and he's not secure within himself to understand that men bring more to the table than their dick in their pockets, then maybe he'll be able to accept your [ __ ] help without thinking that it's an attack on his character just by accepting it. But until then, until he grows the [ __ ] up, don't think you're about to get anything different out of this [ __ ] love.

[00:21:58]>> This is the number one way to know that a man is insecure and it can save you a lot of time and energy. Listen up. I'm going to break it down for you. The number one thing to look for when it comes to a man to know if he's insecure is the double standard. That's when you're with him and he's able to do things that you can't do. He has all the privileges with no restrictions and you can't do anything. I can go out on the weekends and not text you, but you better text me all the time.

[00:22:27]You're always feeling stressed, anxious, worrying. Is he going to be upset? Is he going to get angry? And it's such a red flag for two reasons. One, he's obviously insecure, but two, he's actually projecting what he does. So, he's doing the things he doesn't want you to do. He knows what he's doing and he doesn't want you to do it. And that's why he's projecting onto you. Trust me, it's best you just move it right along.

[00:22:54]And you know, another thing I realized about insecure men, they always want to get a reaction out of you. Like he will do things purposely to trigger you. You guys could be out, you know, chilling and he could kiss a girl in front of you purposely to trigger you. Just so you know, he can boost his ego. When he sees you fighting for him, when he sees you getting all worked up for him, it makes him feel good about himself. It makes him feel wanted. His insecurities will always push him to do things that are, you know, toxic just so you can react because your reaction feeds his ego.

[00:23:33]Your reaction makes him feel good about himself. They enjoy seeing how much power they have over you. They are going to put you in situations where you have to go out of character just because of them, you know, just so you can feed their ego. It is not worth it. And if you've been with such a person, you know, you know how draining it can be.

[00:23:56]Like someone will do things they know are going to hurt you. You know, they'll go out of their way to purposely trigger you just so you can give them the reaction they want.

[00:24:06]>> He didn't fall in love with how naturally beautiful you are. He fell into competition with it. There's a specific kind of man who pursues the most beautiful woman in the room. And it's not because he's secure enough to love her, but it's because he needs to own the thing that makes him feel the most insecure. We're taught that a man pursuing a beautiful woman is natural.

[00:24:28]It's expected. A compliment even. But there is a version of that that has nothing to do with attraction and everything to do with acquisition. An insecure man doesn't see how naturally beautiful, how naturally pretty you are the way a secure man will see it. A secure man will see it and say, "I want to be close to that and honestly uplift what you possess." An insecure man sees you and thinks, "I need to have that. I need to acquire that." And it's genuinely completely two different things because having is about control.

[00:25:00]The moment he has you, the moment you chose him, showed up for him, said yes to him, your beauty stopped being the thing he was drawn to and became the very thing he needed to manage. Because now everyone could see what he has. That also means that everyone can see if he loses it. And this is where it starts.

[00:25:19]The who were you talking to? Why did you wear that? Maybe the backhanded compliments, the negging, saying things like you don't need to look that good to go there. And it's not because he doesn't find you beautiful. It's because he finds you too beautiful for the level of security that he has. And instead of looking in the mirror, taking accountability and responsibility for himself and doing the work on himself to rise where you are, he tries to bring you down to his level of comfortability subtly, consistently until you start leaving the house thinking about what he's going to say when you get home.

[00:25:52]That's not a man being overprotective because he loves you. That is a man who chose you for the wrong reasons and he's been managing his own security at your expense. Your beauty was never something he wanted to celebrate. It was something he wanted to possess because possessing it was the only way he knew how to feel equal to it. If you hear a man say any of these phrases ever, you need to run.

[00:26:19]Absolutely run for the hills. Welcome to the daddy academy. Anything along the lines of like, uh, you could do better.

[00:26:27]Uh, you're too good for me. I don't deserve you. extremely bad, extreme red flag. That is extremely insecure guy.

[00:26:37]That is a guy who is hyper emotional, who doesn't have confidence in himself.

[00:26:41]And it's sad. I mean, like the truth is that it's kind of sad that he feels that way. But like I would never I would never ever ever say anything like that to to a woman. I would never say that. that is like so say I feel bad for him but pathetically horrible that if you try and fix a guy who feels this way about himself uh he's going to ruin you like it's going to be horrible. It's just going to be one of the worst situations you've ever kind of gotten yourself into. Hyper emotional. That's a guy that needs to kind of like go on his own journey of self-help and discovery and confidence building. There's a lot of work to be done there because there's no reality where there's no reality where honestly anyone should think that someone else is better than them, right? Like we're we're both people. I'm super confident in myself. You should be super confident in yourself. I it's not I don't I don't not deserve you. You know what I mean?

[00:27:40]Even if like even if there was a world where let's say he makes a lot less money than you, doesn't matter. You can still have confidence. Maybe it's not a right fit compatibility-wise, but if a guyy's saying those things, it's a much deeper confidence issue and insecurity issue and a whole plethora of things.

[00:27:55]So, if you hear that or anything like that, major red flag runaway.

[00:27:59]>> Watch out for this man, the insecure man, because in the beginning, he comes off as a super charming, super confident, charismatic, kind man. Over time, he slowly starts to drag you through the depths of hell with him. Has these micro moments where his insecurities start to come out. There's jealousy. There's little digs at you that you don't even really notice until they start to pile up. Still holding on to the idea of who you thought that person was in the very beginning when they came off very confident. You've already bought into his [ __ ] And these tiny things that he does or says seem so small in comparison to who you think that person actually is, that confident person that you knew in the beginning. And over time, as these things start to pile up, one thing after the next, 2 years down the line, you become the most insecure version of yourself. You have allowed this man to bring you to a very dark place, a place where you don't even know yourself. Here are some signs to watch out for any form of controlling behavior. So, he doesn't want you to follow certain people. He doesn't want you to post certain things.

[00:28:54]He doesn't want you to wear certain things. He doesn't want you hanging out with certain people. He doesn't like when you hang out with your family or friends. He'll make you feel bad about those things. So, he'll either retaliate and do the same thing, but do it 12 times worse. So, he'll end up like ghosting you, going out with his friends, and you don't know where he is, and he doesn't even come home until like 7:00 a.m. in the morning. Or he'll make you feel really bad about going out with your friends to the point where you don't even want to go. Another thing, micro digs. Little tiny things that make you question your own confidence or what you thought you knew about yourself or the things that you like. So, for instance, if you put on an outfit that you feel really good about and he's like, "Are you really going to wear that?" Or like, "You look so dumb in that." making small comments that seem like a joke, but in reality they make you question why don't you ever compliment me? Which leads me to the next one. If he never compliments you ever, a man hates you. Insecure man never wants you to feel good about yourself. He wants to have that leg up on you. Like he wants to feel like he's always doing better. Downplay any successes, any good things happening in your life because he is insecure within himself and he can't even fathom the idea that you're doing better than him.

[00:29:59]So, please stay away from the insecure man.

[00:30:01]>> Being in love with an insecure man is like torturing yourself. You love him, he hates him. So, he's mad at you for loving him because how could you? When it's all misdirected anger, it still comes out on you because you love him.

[00:30:15]He then begins to try to make you insecure because you were actually okay with yourself. And he can't comprehend how that's possible. He will then tell you that you need to change. You can't wear that out. You're fat. You're kind of ugly. Why haven't you been wearing makeup? It's all internalized. And that goes back to my men are mean video. It's all projecting. Projected anger, projected insecurities. Everything they say is projected and it drains the energy out of you because you take an independent, secure woman and he just drains the energy and the life out of your eyes. There was a trend on here not too long ago. You can see it. You can see the light drain from a woman's eyes being with an insecure man. If the patriarchy didn't put a stigma around therapy and mental health, I don't think this would be such an issue. I also think if fathers were more present, it wouldn't be such an issue. I think if the patriarchy didn't exist, it wouldn't be an issue. But again, men got the shitty end of the stick with that one.

[00:31:09]So, insecure men will always hurt the relationship in some way, shape, or form. They will always sabotage the relationship in some way. So, don't even waste your time trying to earn their trust thinking you can love them through it. Don't think, "Oh, they just never had the right woman and I am." No. Yeah, you are the right woman, but girl, he is not the right man. I know we all got some type of issue, but insecurity is one that you won't be able to work through because you are his trigger.

[00:31:39]Every time you try to love him, he's going to [ __ ] on it because he can't handle it. He will do nothing but bring out the worst in you. He will break your self-esteem down, even if you initially had high self-esteem. and forget about him having any accountability.

[00:31:54]Everything will always be your fault.

[00:31:57]And I hate to say it, but he may even be abusive physically, verbally, and or mentally, and even emotionally. When a man's insecurities and low self-esteem take over, it can become a very, very dangerous.

[00:32:14]And there's a chance he will cheat on you, too. He will of course always accuse you of cheating because he believes you are cheating. He's so afraid that you're going to hurt him that he will hurt you first. He can't control himself or his emotions. So, he's going to try to control you. And it's probably true that a good man is probably deep down inside of him somewhere. And you may even see glimpses of that good man come out sometimes and that gives you some sort of hope. But before you know it, you're years in and he's still the same and still breadcrumbming you.

[00:32:47]>> Can a good woman heal a man or does he have to do that on his own?

[00:32:51]>> He has to do that [ __ ] on his own. A good look, a good woman and or and or a good man, I don't give a [ __ ] what it is, is a good person, point blank, period, can only be that, a good person.

[00:33:02]In order for the other person to become a good person and heal, they have to want that [ __ ] for themselves. Because if they don't want them for if they don't want to become a good person for themselves, they're just going to sit there and use and abuse the good person.

[00:33:14]The good person is just going to get drugged through the depths of [ __ ] hell because the other person doesn't actually want to become a good person. They're not viewing them as a source of inspiration or none of that type of good [ __ ] They're viewing them as an upper [ __ ] tunity. They're viewing them as a as as a waste or an ends to a means, not to actually love a [ __ ] When an insecure person finds you attractive, they're often going to show you the worst sides of themselves. This is important to know.

[00:33:40]If you're somebody that's consistently perceived as attractive, maybe you're charming, maybe you're charismatic, maybe you have a unique fashion style, but there's something about you that makes people attracted to you. When people are attracted to you, they respond in a variety of ways. But today, I want to focus on a more negative response. A lot of people don't think of themselves as deserving or valuable enough to achieve acquisition of the things they want, even if that is another human being they find attractive. These people have low self-esteem, oftentimes a low self-concept. And because they don't know how to cope with the fact that they feel inadequate internally, they will instead try to make the person that's making them feel these feelings, maybe you, the person they're attracted to, go through a sort of humiliation ritual just to be in communication with them to affirm to themselves that you're not really all that. it becomes a humiliation tactic and they do this by showing you the worst sides of themselves. Now, this may not happen all at once or in the beginning of your relationship. They actually might come off as a nice person, very charming, very sweet, very attentive, but over time they get in their own head and they convince themselves that they're not deserving of you or that you won't have interest in them because of how you look. They essentially are made afraid due to their attraction to you. And instead of acknowledging that or maybe even having a conversation with you, what they will instead do is have in their mind that they're going to make you into a bad person or try to diminish your value or image. They do this by showing you the worst sides of themselves. Suddenly, they'll be very mean towards you. Suddenly, they'll start spreading gossip and lies about you. Suddenly, you're hearing more about the relationship you two were building from outside sources in a negative light than you are from them. Suddenly, their behavior switches up. Suddenly they start punishing you for the feelings they feel internally that are actually punishing their internal voice and sense of calmness. People think that when you're attractive or when people are attracted to you, they are going to automatically be kind or nice to you.

[00:35:47]People are only kind and nice to attractive people when they think they're getting something out of it. If this person is insecure to the point to where through their nine nice and kind acts, they've convinced themselves it's not leading them anywhere and now they're angry at the fact that they were nice to you and even angrier at the fact that it doesn't look like they're going to get what they want because they've convinced themselves of all these things. All that's left to do is to take out their toxic mindset and way of thinking on you, the attractive person.

[00:36:16]By doing this, it makes them feel affirmed because a real attractive person would never take this treatment from me. And the fact that you take this treatment from me shows you, and especially them, that they're too good for you. They literally have to reverse the playing field by mistreating you because they're attracted to you while being insecure. Insecure men do not let a man trick you into believing that the reason that they're insecure is because of you. Okay? Because let me tell you something, an insecure man is a dangerous man. He's dangerous. That means he's going to secretly be in competition with you. I had an insecure jackass one time tell me like, "Well, you should be glad that I'm insecure behind you." What? What? And then every time I would have something to say about me catching him talking to a woman or him flirting in his inbox on social media, it was, "Oh, why are you so insecure? Why are you so insecure?" Like understand something in the beginning.

[00:37:14]It is very flattering. It's very flattering, but it's going to turn into something that you are going to despise.

[00:37:22]It's it's it's really a scary thing. I'm not kidding. And what did Cash Doll say?

[00:37:28]The broke ones are insecure.

[00:37:32]The rich ones will try to control you, but the broke ones are insecure and it's dangerous. So, if you ever encounter yourself with a man that is insecure, when I say insecure, he's questioning why you going back to the grocery store because you forgot an onion. I mean, when I tell you this man used to say, "You just went on Tuesday. What you need to go back for? Let me find out you're meeting somebody at the grocery store."

[00:37:53]Everything was an issue. If he could have had it his way, I would have I would have literally had to wear him around my neck and have him on FaceTime everywhere I went. And you know why they do that, right? They do that because they are projecting the [ __ ] that they are doing onto you. Onto you. Why do they do that? Because they know they ain't [ __ ] And that can't because they ain't [ __ ] Let me get my thoughts together.

[00:38:18]Because they ain't [ __ ] They know. They don't believe that anybody else can be actual good people because they ain't [ __ ] So, so you have to you have to like think about it. In their mind, they're the standard, right? They're horrible. They're cheaters. They're liars. They're insecure. Okay? So, in their mind, they think everybody ain't [ __ ] because they know they're not. So, the moral of the story is if he's insecure, he's dangerous and he's most likely broke.

[00:38:49]Mm- You might as well be with a woman.

[00:38:51]You might as well be with a woman. I'm starting to understand why there are so many women that are choosing to date.

[00:38:56]Women are choosing to stay alone because these men be insecure. And the fact of the matter is they don't want to check their [ __ ] They don't want to go to therapy. They not talking and having the hard conversations with their homeboys because they homeboy just as grimy and dirty as them. Financially insecure men are some of the most dangerous men for any woman to interact with, but especially my firstborn daughteries. And this is because even though we may not have been taught a lot about dating, one of the main things we are taught is how to be stable. And as a result, we tend to put ourselves in positions that make us extremely financially stable because finances are how we maintain our overall stability. But it also makes us very very attractive to men who have not figured out a way to thrive under patriarchy. And these same men that haven't been able to thrive under patriarchy give you the opportunity to feel caring and nurturing, which feels natural to you because as a firstborn daughter, that was your role. But they also will secretly resent you because if you are more financially stable than them, then they can't live out the role that they were socialized to believe they should hold. They will soak up your benefits while simultaneously hating you for being beneficial. And a man that is jealous of you and resentful of you will become dangerous over time. So when you're dating and you're looking for your ideal match, do not shy away from talking about finances. Don't let anyone tell you you're being materialistic.

[00:40:15]This is not only for your stability, but for your safety.

[00:40:18]>> I feel like the worst thing you can ever do as a beautiful woman is to date an insecure man. Girl, when I tell you that man will belittle you to the utmost degree. I don't know what it is. I don't know why they do that, but bro, they really try to make you seem as if you are nothing. Like if your presence means nothing to them. like and you could be so nice and sweet and loving to them, they will not care. They will literally ruin you. Trust me, you will never be good enough for a man who's insecure.

[00:40:55]I'm telling you this right now, honey.

[00:40:57]If you've ever dated an insecure man, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

[00:41:01]You can jump through every hoop. You can do everything that they want. You can shake yourself and mold yourself in the direct image of what he says he wants, and he will still make you feel like you're not enough. Not because you're not enough, but because he is insecure.

[00:41:15]And when a man is insecure, his only objective in a relationship with you is to break you down to the point where he can feel superior because he does not recognize that he has the power and the agency to empower himself so he can be good enough, so he can feel secure. So basically, he's lazy emotionally. He doesn't want to work on himself. So what he does tries to break you down so he doesn't have to work on himself. When you recognize that a man is insecure, get away from him. He is toxic. He will destroy you for the pure benefit of making his low lowly self-esteem. Feel better, girl. Get away from him. Now, the problem with dating insecure men is that they never will admit that they're insecure. They're never self-aware enough to be like, "Okay, I have this work to do in this particular area because I don't feel great about myself." No, no, no. Instead, what they will do is they will come into your life presenting that they think that they're 10 out of 10 when they really think they're a 6 out of 10. And then they will slightly try to knock you down a couple pegs to a point that they feel more comfortable with you existing at.

[00:42:17]And that is what makes them insane because they have to do it on the low.

[00:42:20]They have to do it on the sly because otherwise your clock that they don't actually think that they're as good as they present. And that's what makes them dangerous because one minute everything's fine. One minute you know you're that girl and then the next minute after this man's come into your life, you're questioning yourself. You don't feel great about yourself. You don't think you're that pretty. You don't think you're doing that much.

[00:42:38]You're this, you're that. All the stuff you used to do, you think you're doing too much. Now listen, it is a scheme, okay? It is a scheme, okay? To come to you with the BS. You need to be aware of when men talk more than they do, talk more than they act, shoulders are higher than what they actually have, okay? Like you need to be able to sus out men who are clearly insecure about their life.

[00:42:58]Not to say that men cannot have insecurities. People have insecurities, okay? Everyone has insecurities. That doesn't make you an insecure person.

[00:43:05]Okay? The same way you will have bad traits, you might have flaws. It doesn't make you a bad person. So, you need to be able to sus out the difference. Men can have insecurities, but we're not dating insecure men because they are mad. Okay? They are mad. They are dangerous. They are harmful. And they don't know that they are. That's the most those are the most dangerous people to date. People who are harmful in ways that they don't even know because how do you control that? How do you rein that in? You don't. You just get hurt. That's literally it. So, we're not doing that.

[00:43:32]The worst mistake you can do to yourself is to be in a relationship with an insecure person. Those people bring nothing into the table but confusion, distraction. They always suspicious and jealous, you know, and they even competing with you. They create these scenarios in their head and then they come into conclusion without even confronting you and asking you and confirming it. They just always arguments. There's no solution. You even hate going back home because your house feels like a courthouse. It's like this judge duty all the time. What are you doing? Why did you >> Ladies, don't ignore the red flags of a man who is insecure because if you stay with that kind of man, you are going to end up in a very toxic relationship. You know, look out for those small signs that may even come off as subtle.

[00:44:18]Sometimes he may seem as though he's just being overprotective. But when it gets to a point where it is now not being protective, it is now being controlling. You know, you have to ask for permission before you go anywhere.

[00:44:32]He contrasts the way you dress, your makeup. He tells you he wants you to be all natural. He doesn't want you to do makeup. He's not comfortable with you going out and, you know, hanging with your friends because for some reason he feels like you could be looking at other guys. You guys could be talking to other guys like it comes off as though he's your parrot, you know? He's really trying to control you. And a relationship shouldn't be like that.

[00:44:57]That man shouldn't control you. Like he shouldn't control what you do as a woman. At the end of the day, he should be in a position where he trusts you the same way you trust him. If he's controlling your way about, who you're with, how you dress, that's not actually being protective, that is insecurity.

[00:45:14]And trust me, it could escalate to something even worse. Also, take note of the things he says to you, especially in public. Do not ignore the little jokes, you know, those little humiliating jokes that he throws at you. He is purposely saying that to make you feel insecure because he's insecure on the inside and he's purposely trying to bring your confidence down. I know some people may see it as, you know, playful and cute.

[00:45:41]No, there is a difference between the cute, playful jokes and jokes that are targeted to bring your confidence down.

[00:45:49]Another clear sign is that man hardly compliments you. Like you could be dressed to the tea. It doesn't matter how good you look, if you've dressed to your best. For some reason, he is not going to compliment you because he doesn't want to gas you up. He doesn't want your head to get big. He's trying so hard to make sure that you know that you're not all that. If you have to ask for compliments, you know, if you have to remind him to compliment you, that's a big red flag. Your man should be your biggest fan. You know, he should be able to make you feel good about yourself. He should be able to notice when you do your hair. He should be able to notice when you really put in effort to look good, you know, if you have to drag the compliments out of him. Red flag, sis.

[00:46:36]And don't make the excuse for him that, you know, he's just nonchalant and that's not his love language, like words of affirmation. No, he is doing it on purpose. Another one, if you feel like he's trying to compete with you in any way, like for some reason, he always has to win. You know, he always has to have one up you. That is not a partner. That is someone that is jealous of you. That is someone that is trying to outdo you.

[00:47:02]And it is because they are insecure.

[00:47:05]They see your light and they don't want you to outshine them. It is a blow to their ego. They always want to be, you know, above. They always want to be the one up there. Actually, this kind is very dangerous. If you notice this sign, I feel like this one you shouldn't ignore because it can turn deadly. You know, it can be fatal. A jealous man is a very dangerous man. You see how they say that women are jealous and stuff like that. You have never met a jealous man. A jealous man will off you. I'm not even kidding. A jealous man will off you. Like, don't take it lightly. If you notice signs of jealousy, if you notice signs of, you know, competition, cut that man off as soon as possible. Also, if he gets jealous so easily, like you could just be existing and he's going to, you know, accuse you of cheating on him. He's going to accuse you of looking at other men and you really I don't do any of these things like you're just existing. He's insecure because he knows that you're a pretty girl. He knows that you probably deserve better better than him. He knows that you can pull any man you wish, you know. So, he's always going to try to, you know, accuse you of doing things that you're not even doing.

[00:48:24]Don't ignore the red flags, ladies. Do not ignore the red flags. Anyways, ladies, tell me what you think about this topic in the comment section below.

[00:48:32]Have you also ever dealt with an insecure man? And if yes, how was your experience? And how did you, you know, handle it? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. And yeah, don't forget to like, share, comment, subscribe if you haven't already, hit the notification bell so you get notified each and every time I drop a video. Till next time, I remain Lisa.

[00:48:54]Peace and love. I love you all. Bye.