Crazy Stupid Happenings Around The World

[00:00:00]No, >> THAT'S WHAT THEY SHOULD DO.

[00:00:02]>> STOP IT.

[00:00:04]>> Deep fat fried.

[00:00:05]>> All right, here's >> the delivery perhaps gone wrong. Way wrong. Take a look right there. Baton Rouge business owner says this surveillance video >> seems like Baton Rouge >> showed what happened to his stuff after a FedEx driver apparently loses his temper.

[00:00:18]>> I got the other guy like put it down gently. The other guy >> damage. Now that man answers from ahead and just like gave it a kick, too. Not only did you just dump it, I want to see this dude dump that [ __ ] >> Well, a delivery perhaps gone wrong. Way wrong.

[00:00:32]>> There you go. There's your [ __ ] There's your expensive equipment, you [ __ ] Honestly, dude, I I've had cameras up and I I've seen so many of my my [ __ ] get delivered. I've never seen anyone do this, even if the [ __ ] was heavy. So, this is kind of crazy to me that someone would throw someone's [ __ ] especially in a day and age where there's cameras everywhere. This is a business. Most businesses are going to have cameras. So, she just didn't fire the guy. I mean, like, he's going to throw people [ __ ] >> Look right there. Business owner says, "This surveillance video showed what happened to his stuff after a FedEx driver apparently loses his temper that cost thousands of dollars worth of equipment to be damaged. Now, that man is demanding answers from FedEx."

[00:01:14]>> What do you mean you're demanding answers from FedEx? What is What do you think the answer is?

[00:01:18]>> Yeah, FedEx has a reimbursement.

[00:01:19]>> There was a disgruntled employee that [ __ ] kicked your [ __ ] around. I I don't know what you want. Like there's that's the answer, you know? Like what what more are you expecting to hear than that?

[00:01:29]>> Yeah. I mean, it's pretty clear what happened. FedEx needs to fire the guy and give this guy refund him any cost that damage of these packages.

[00:01:36]>> Nah, I think uh FedEx should [ __ ] promote this dude. [laughter] >> You think so?

[00:01:40]>> Yeah. I think they should be like, "You know what? Good job. Good job. You didn't take no [ __ ] off that customer by kicking this kid >> and dressed as a clown, too. I am the master race.

[00:01:53]>> [music] >> Bam.

[00:01:58]>> Damn it. Kick that kid right in the [ __ ] nuts.

[00:02:02]>> Well, I mean, that robot is the master race then. [music] It's like show these humans his boss. Whack.

[00:02:09]>> Kicked him in the chest.

[00:02:10]>> Kick that kid right in the gut.

[00:02:18]>> Lol. You named your dog Boogie. I hope it's a fat [ __ ] I don't think it was named after Boogie 2988.

[00:02:23]>> No, I was.

[00:02:24]>> Dude, is this the first salvo in a broader war?

[00:02:28]>> Yeah, we'll look back at this is the moment the robots turned on us.

[00:02:32]>> Yep.

[00:02:33]>> You dress me as a clown, you are the clown.

[00:02:36]>> We'll see who the real clown is, human.

[00:02:41][music] Oh, you know, hurts like a [ __ ] too, cuz that thing is like I mean, it's made of [ __ ] metal, dude.

[00:02:57]>> Probably made of titanium or some [ __ ] so it's light.

[00:03:01]>> It's a real thing.

[00:03:06]>> Hello human, I'm Nug. You will subscribe and become a pessimist productions patron >> and become a free member on kick to enjoy live streams of deep fat Friday every week, deep dives every Saturday >> or other shows such as Hey Paul, what you watching? Backseat Gaming ideology commentaries >> mega shows every month >> and more. Click the link feed feed feed feed. I got like 70 or more farts recorded.

[00:03:33]Okay. I mean, everyone's got to have a hobby, I guess. You know, [laughter] good for you, man. Good for you. I think The Onion probably should just like shut down at this point cuz uh >> Yeah.

[00:03:48][laughter] Like >> it's just over forever.

[00:03:50]>> It's like it's over, you know? I mean, like, what are you going to do?

[00:03:53]>> Yeah.

[00:03:54]>> Cuz like 10 years ago, this would have been like unthinkably ridiculous and absurd to the point where it's just like that would never happen. That's that's ridiculous. That's That's incipid.

[00:04:07]This is like idiocracy [ __ ] and now it's just happening.

[00:04:10]>> I've never seen Idiocracy. Is it worth watching? No, >> cuz you're living in it.

[00:04:14]>> It is worth watching. That's not true.

[00:04:16][laughter] >> Sky says it is worth watching, >> man.

[00:04:21]>> Why is [laughter] our coliseum so weak and pitiful looking?

[00:04:25]>> Well, different empire, different times, my friend.

[00:04:28]>> Damn.

[00:04:30]>> Sorry you didn't get to live in the cool one where they built cool [ __ ] Well, I'm not here anyways. [laughter] I mean, maybe in China, some other countries.

[00:04:38]>> Oh, by the way, if you want the B Paul shirt, uh, I have fixed the sizing issue.

[00:04:42]>> All right, that's been fixed. So, >> good. No worries there.

[00:04:45]>> Inside the UFC's $60 million made for TV White House gambit.

[00:04:50][snorts] >> This is so [ __ ] ridiculous, dude.

[00:04:54]>> The most audacious media spectacle in recent memory was hatched on the floor of Madison Square Garden less than two weeks after the 2024 presidential election.

[00:05:03]On November 16th, 2024, President-elect Donald Trump walked into New York's most famous arena to loud applause from a friendly crowd as Kid Rock's American Badass played.

[00:05:14]Trump was there for UFC 309. I JUST ALL RIGHT.

[00:05:20]I can't I can't even do this no more.

[00:05:23]>> Why not?

[00:05:23]>> I can't even do I can't even exist in this reality anymore, man. I'm sorry.

[00:05:27]>> You're going to phase out of it. Yeah, I need to PHASE OUT. [laughter] >> Phase out of reality.

[00:05:32]>> I can't [ __ ] do this no more, man.

[00:05:35]>> What?

[00:05:36]>> I can't do this. I can't do this no more.

[00:05:39]>> You have to face the pain, dude. Look at the chat.

[00:05:42]>> He's looking at you disdainfully, TJ.

[00:05:44][laughter] >> You got a problem with me, TJ?

[00:05:47]>> Trump was there for USC 309. WAS >> YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, TJ?

[00:05:52]>> Was joined by Rock, Elon Musk, and incoming cabinet secretaries Robert F.

[00:05:57]Kennedy Jr. in Tulsi Gabbard among other dignitaries.

[00:06:00]>> You want to fight TJ?

[00:06:01]>> Would you like to fight me?

[00:06:03]>> But when he walked out, uh, he did so alongside Dana White, the CEO of UFC.

[00:06:09]Amid the fights, Trump took a moment to make a suggestion to White, a longtime personal friend dating back to the early days of UFC.

[00:06:17]He leaned over to me and says, "We should do a fight at the White House."

[00:06:20]White recalls in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter. I said, "Yes, we should." I didn't know what he meant. I was thinking maybe there's some room he's thinking about where we'd have it.

[00:06:30]He's like, "No, we're going to do it outside on the south lawn."

[00:06:36]Just think about this. Just Just think about this [ __ ] Donald Trump, president [ __ ] elect, all this [ __ ] right?

[00:06:45]>> Yeah.

[00:06:45]>> He's going to assume power.

[00:06:47]>> Yeah.

[00:06:48]>> What the [ __ ] this guy thinking about?

[00:06:49]A UFC fight on the South [ __ ] lawn, dude.

[00:06:52]>> Yeah.

[00:06:53]>> This is everything you need to know about Donald Trump right here.

[00:06:56]Not how he's going to run the country.

[00:06:57]Not the changes he's going to make. Not all the [ __ ] Oh, here's all the [ __ ] I'm going to do. None of that. Dana, we got to have a fight in the South Lawn.

[00:07:06]BIG FIGHT. Big fight. Dana, what do you say?

[00:07:10]I think it would be great if you guys did a video commentary on the movie Hackers. I've never seen a movie that was so confidently wrong.

[00:07:16]All right.

[00:07:16]>> It's a little I mean, it's like a cult classic. It'd be kind of Maybe we could do it, but it's kind of hard, isn't it?

[00:07:23]>> Maybe.

[00:07:25]Maybe so.

[00:07:26]>> But it is a good mo I I actually like unironically enjoy that movie.

[00:07:30]>> It is a fun movie.

[00:07:31]>> It's fun.

[00:07:32]>> I don't Yeah, it's a super fun movie.

[00:07:34]Like I don't think it's the greatest film ever made or anything, but dude, it's a [ __ ] fun movie.

[00:07:40]>> French UFC fighter Gain blocking out politics before White House bout.

[00:07:47]French mixed martial artist Sirill Ga said he is blocking out the political noise ahead of the unprecedented fight at the White House in Washington. Gain will take on Brazilian Alex Pereira in a special June 14th bout organized in the White House on the day of the US President Donald Trump's 80th birthday as part of the 250th anniversary celebration for the founding of the United States of America.

[00:08:15]>> Wow. Many people view the whole event as a political stunt, but Gain told AFP that he is ignoring the criticism and focusing on his bout, but he admits it will be a unique experience.

[00:08:29]I, you know, as much like to say it's a political stunt, I don't honestly think it is. I think Donald Trump thought it'd be cool if there's a UFC fight in the South Lawn. I really believe it's as deep as it goes. I know people are going like, "No, it's a Donald Trump doesn't give a [ __ ] about this. What st does he even care about at this point? He's sinking his party for the midterms. He doesn't give a [ __ ] >> Donald Trump got in his [ __ ] little pea brain that there should be a fight on the south lawn and now it's going to happen cuz he literally knows this. He's buddies with the CEO of the UFC so of course he's'll make it happen. He's a big Trumpy.

[00:09:01]>> What a nightmare.

[00:09:02]>> I feel bad. I mean, yeah, the if the people fighting Yeah. It's like, you know, what can you do? They're having a fight in the White House. All right, I guess I'll kick his ass on the White House lawn. You could have a set of balls and refuse to [ __ ] go through with the fight in protest of Trump's [ __ ] [ __ ] I guess you could, but >> wouldn't be advisable for your career.

[00:09:22]>> Oh, your career is dead then.

[00:09:23]>> Sean Strickland claims he was banned from attending UFC White House card.

[00:09:29]Um, it doesn't appear Sean Strickland is going to be front and center for the UFC White House card on June 14th. The always outspoken UFC middleweight champion took to social media to reveal he's been banned from the event while claiming it all stems from his criticisms aimed at uh President Donald Trump and his long-standing relationship with Israel and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. While UFC officials have been adamant that only so many seats are going to be made available for the event, there were no ticket sales and fans aren't allowed to attend.

[00:09:57]Strickland apparently planned on going, but that's no longer happening. UFC at the White House with Benjamin Netanyahu in the audience. Straight slop.

[00:10:05]Strickland wrote on Instagram. To be fair, they did ban me, but when you make fun of the leaders of America, they tend to be a little bit petty. By leaders, I mean Israel.

[00:10:15]>> Oh, yeah. [laughter] Yeah. There's no He was definitely banned.

[00:10:20]>> Strickland has been rather vocal in his opposition to the ongoing conflict in Iran after he openly supported Trump's re-election in 2024. But now he says his words have come back to haunt him, at least regarding Strickland potentially attending what is expected to go down as the biggest USC event of the year. The only male American champ banned at the White House because I said Trump is owned by Benjamin Netanyahu. That's not public opinion. It's fact.

[00:10:44]It's public fact. When asked for specifics on what he said he earned, what he said earned him the band, Strickland added, "I made fun of Israel and Jeffrey Epste." Strickland later issued a longer video in response to his claims that the UFC is not allowing him to attend the event, and he didn't back down from his criticisms aimed at Trump, the war in Iran, or Israel. "I'm not really surprised," Strickland said about his ban. "Apparently, I'm not American enough to go to Freedom 250. I still got my ticket, so maybe we'll just go. I'll bring the belt and we'll just stand outside the gate and we'll just let them know what we really think about Trump and Israel."

[00:11:18]>> John is a mass homophobe. Yeah. No one's saying he's great, but look, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

[00:11:23]>> Yeah. I mean, whatever. He I mean I'm sure he's a piece of [ __ ] and all that, but like Trump >> he's right about this and he's the I mean like preventing him from coming when he's the literally [ __ ] holds the strap for the middleweight championship >> is obviously [ __ ] a political [ __ ] calculation.

[00:11:37]>> Yeah, it's obviously a Trump's request as well.

[00:11:40]>> Sure. It's a BB's request.

[00:11:42]>> Oh well fair. [laughter] Yeah, it's a BB's request. BB says no.

[00:11:46]>> BB said no.

[00:11:47]>> Man, this is a strange political fracturing, is it not?

[00:11:50]>> Because the UFC now streams on Paramount. Who owns Paramount again? I forget.

[00:11:56]>> I own it.

[00:11:58]Basically, >> I mean, though, they remember that's how the deal got done. It was like when they wanted to get that merger done, it was like Donald Trump's like, I don't know about that. I don't know if I'll approve it. Who knows? Netflix, who who knows who's going to get it. Oh, we'll suck you'll suck your dick. Wait a second. I see I see a crystal ball. I see your future. Yeah, you guys are going to get it. Wow. I think the Trump administration's paid for play, so no shock. I can't believe we're going to have [ __ ] gladatorial combat on the front lawn of the [ __ ] White House.

[00:12:25]>> Isn't that beautiful?

[00:12:26]>> Yeah. I mean, you know, it is uniquely American. It's actually more American than I thought America could even get at this point.

[00:12:36]>> We deserve We deserve the idiocracy thing and and there is a certain beauty to how it's playing out versus how it was kind of satirically portrayed because, you know, people always say, "Oh, yeah, it's happening." But it really isn't, you know, yet it's shaping up a little differently.

[00:12:54]But >> not as differently as I'd hoped.

[00:12:58][laughter] I'll just say that. I'll just put that out there into the ether.

[00:13:01]>> I'll give you that.

[00:13:02]>> Decline of Rome in real time. See, the thing is that it's not really the decline of Rome in the sense of the fall of Rome. It's more like the decline of the Roman Republic and the transition into the Roman Empire.

[00:13:15]>> Yeah, that's more correct.

[00:13:17]>> Yeah.

[00:13:19]I mean, yeah, that I would say that that's how I would look at it as well.

[00:13:22]>> We deserve what we have.

[00:13:24]>> True.

[00:13:25]>> Yeah, I guess so. I guess so.

[00:13:28]>> As was what George Con said about politics America. It's like the politicians represent us. This is the best we can do, folks. This is the best we can do. Brondo has electrolytes. IT'S GOT WHAT PLANTS CRAVE. Plants love electrolytes, baby. You know it. I know it. We all know it.

[00:13:44]Well, look, as long as we know how to still put water on crops, we'll be okay, >> I guess.

[00:13:50]>> Until we get Brono.

[00:13:51]>> Till we have [ __ ] no more water to put on crops, then we'll be [ __ ] >> Water from a toilet.

[00:13:56]>> Streamer was bullying her boyfriend until he had enough.

[00:14:00]Let's see how this goes.

[00:14:02]>> Yeah, this is some terrible [ __ ] >> How are you?

[00:14:09]>> So, crazy lore here. Yes, on this chick.

[00:14:12]I think we watched her do this. Have we watched this before?

[00:14:17]>> Maybe, but I might have just watched it and I, you know, it's hard to sometimes in my memory to separate what I've watched on my own and what we've watched here. But anyway, >> you might have internalized it.

[00:14:26]>> This is all from a couple years ago.

[00:14:27]Well, it was back on the [ __ ] >> It's back in the zeitgeist. Whatever.

[00:14:30]We're revisiting it to commemorate coming back.

[00:14:34]>> This chick's name is Alisa Jordana >> and she has a pretty direct connection to the Howard Stern show. really. Yeah.

[00:14:43]She was the girlfriend of Howard Stern's head writer, Benji, who was in the studio with him every day and, you know, would get on the mic and everything. Um, and they did like this crazy music stuff together where he produced the music and she would sing poorly.

[00:15:02]Uh, and Howard had a real good time like playing it. and she always came off so sweet and like normal in comparison to Benji who was a total degenerate. And so her being a character on the show for a whole arc, it was weird to see the real her come out here because >> I'm sorry about this.

[00:15:25]>> Don't talk. Don't [ __ ] talk.

[00:15:28]>> Someone asked, "Is there a kink to find frumpy dudes and torture them?"

[00:15:32]>> Uh, yeah, probably. She probably someone that wants to have all the power in the relationship and she's like, "I'm hotter than you. I'm better than you. I'm I mean, she's driving the [ __ ] card." I mean, I think it's pretty clear who's wearing the pants in this one.

[00:15:44]>> You're fine. You're fine.

[00:15:45]>> [ __ ] you.

[00:15:46]>> Um, >> next time you [ __ ] touch me, I'll [ __ ] dick you. You understand?

[00:15:53]>> She's happy. She's happy.

[00:15:56]>> The number dumb [ __ ] Pull over dumb [ __ ] [laughter] Don't. All right, I'll stop. I'll stop.

[00:16:06]Okay, I'll stop. I'm feeding you.

[00:16:08]>> Pull over, dumb [ __ ] Behind you.

[00:16:10][laughter] >> No, I'm sorry.

[00:16:12]>> No. Calm down. Sarah, calm down.

[00:16:16]>> Help.

[00:16:19]Please, please.

[00:16:20]>> Yeah. Help. Help.

[00:16:22]>> Help.

[00:16:22]>> [ __ ] you.

[00:16:23]>> Help, man. I'm innocent. [laughter] >> [ __ ] you. You stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] >> Don't hit somebody.

[00:16:28]>> Don't repeatedly hit a dude in the [ __ ] face then. Unless you're willing to get the smoke, don't throw Don't throw hands. Don't put your hands on anybody unless you're willing to get this.

[00:16:38]>> And if you're not willing to get this, if you're just going to screech, help, help, help, and beep the horn.

[00:16:43]>> Yeah, cuz the slap don't slap the [ __ ] button.

[00:16:46]>> Yeah. Don't slap the [ __ ] guy then.

[00:16:49]>> You won't be in this position if you don't hurt people with your own [ __ ] [ __ ] And it wasn't like it wasn't like she [ __ ] smacked him once >> out of [ __ ] like pure [ __ ] adrenaline and rage. It was like repeated.

[00:17:02]>> Yeah. Was seemingly wasn't like this guy did anything to deserve. It wasn't like this guy was like >> he just spoke and she's just like, "SHUT UP. SHUT THE [ __ ] UP. Shut up. How dare you talk?

[00:17:14]>> Call 911. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[00:17:19]I'm so sorry. Please let me go. Please let me go.

[00:17:25]Ow. No. Please. I'm so sorry. Please.

[00:17:27]>> Oh, you're sorry. Right. Get the [ __ ] out.

[00:17:29]>> Okay. I'm getting out. I'm getting out.

[00:17:31]You're killing me.

[00:17:35]>> Killing you? I don't think he's killing you.

[00:17:37]>> No.

[00:17:39]>> No. He's just pulling you out of his car.

[00:17:50]Well, like I said, that's terrible.

[00:17:53]Jesus.

[00:17:54]>> Play with fire, you get burned sometimes.

[00:17:58]>> I don't even know if that guy was fire, but he he'd had enough.

[00:18:02]>> Yeah.

[00:18:02]>> White guy tells black FedEx driver to drive like a white man.

[00:18:09]>> How does a white man drive? WHAT THE [ __ ] YOU GOING TO TAKE?

[00:18:18]>> Who the [ __ ] are you, sir? [laughter] The red random redneck appears.

[00:18:23]>> Sir, what are you talking about?

[00:18:24]>> YOU SLOW THIS [ __ ] DOWN. I NAILED.

[00:18:27]>> Slow it down. You're in You're in front of them. Okay.

[00:18:29]>> Told you the other day for that [ __ ] >> Uh, sir, the speed limit says >> THIS IS A PRIVATE [ __ ] DRIVEWAY. YOU GOT THAT? It ain't your [ __ ] driveway.

[00:18:38]>> I understand that.

[00:18:39]>> You slow the [ __ ] down or you'll never commit it again.

[00:18:43]>> Okay, that's your decision if it's a private private.

[00:18:46]>> That's my [ __ ] decision.

[00:18:47]>> Okay then.

[00:18:48]>> OKAY, SLOW THE [ __ ] DOWN. WELL, I'll let you know the speed >> because you won't see me into that [ __ ] cuz I'll make sure of it.

[00:18:54]>> Okay, >> you got it.

[00:18:56]>> Oh, I hear you. Like I said, the speed limit is 15.

[00:18:59]>> The speed limit ain't 15.

[00:19:00]>> That's what it is.

[00:19:01]>> This a private [ __ ] road.

[00:19:02]>> That's what my GPS tells me.

[00:19:04]>> I don't give a [ __ ] what your GPS tells you. [ __ ] It's going YOUR GPS ridiculous [ __ ] GPS. [laughter] PRIVATE GODDAMN SON.

[00:19:15]>> You're mad. He's going 15. If this guy's going 50, I can understand this.

[00:19:20]>> How [ __ ] what speed are you supposed to go down this dude's driveway? Cuz 15 seems like a pretty reasonable speed to go down this [ __ ] >> 1 mile hour.

[00:19:28]>> You're supposed to creep at an interminably slow pace.

[00:19:32]>> Yeah, you're supposed to go [ __ ] get out >> get out of the get out of the truck and push it >> down that driveway.

[00:19:40]>> Or better yet, park at the end of his street and carry that [ __ ] all the way down on your foot.

[00:19:47]>> Yeah. No, slowly and check.

[00:19:48]>> Hold on.

[00:19:49]>> Don't walk too fast either.

[00:19:51]>> Well, not only that, that'd be a black man walking through the neighborhood.

[00:19:55]That's going to be a problem, too.

[00:19:57]>> Yeah, good point.

[00:20:00]>> Electra. Okay, >> you [ __ ] DRIVE LIKE A WHITE MAN OR DON'T COME IN HERE.

[00:20:05]>> Drive like a white man. What was that supposed to mean, >> [ __ ] I'm going to call your [ __ ] boss.

[00:20:12]>> Okay. Yeah, I'm sure the boss Yeah, I'm sure the boss is going to be [ __ ] like, "Oh, yeah, this guy seemed reasonable.

[00:20:18]>> HE DIDN'T DRIVE LIKE A WHITE MAN. GOD DAMN IT. [laughter] >> OH, WE'RE SORRY, SIR. We'll tell you drive white next time."

[00:20:25]>> Right. Okay. I don't care.

[00:20:26]>> Come in here again. You will not ever come in here again.

[00:20:30]>> Okay.

[00:20:31]>> Got that?

[00:20:31]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:20:32]>> Okay. [laughter] You're right.

[00:20:34]>> Yeah. Mhm.

[00:20:36]>> Yeah.

[00:20:36]>> [ __ ] you, you little [ __ ] >> Okay.

[00:20:40]>> I had a rip for your [ __ ] ass out. I just beat you to a [ __ ] pulp.

[00:20:44]>> All righty.

[00:20:46]>> Smart ass little [ __ ] >> Yes, sir.

[00:20:51]>> You in a big [ __ ] hurry?

[00:20:53]>> I ain't.

[00:20:54]>> I get paid by the hour.

[00:20:55]>> So do I.

[00:20:56]>> Okay. [laughter] >> Now it's like, >> who's paying you by the hour to stand there and [ __ ] yell this?

[00:21:01]>> Is that your job? I would like to pay a white old racist man to berate FedEx drivers paying $30 an hour.

[00:21:09]>> I'll do it.

[00:21:10]>> [ __ ] you. All right.

[00:21:12]>> Okay.

[00:21:19]>> Why does he keep getting more mad?

[00:21:21]Because he's not getting the reaction he wants.

[00:21:23]>> Yeah.

[00:21:24]>> Because this guy is not getting pissed back. He wants this dude to [ __ ] He wants this dude to be in a fight. And since this dude is just dismissively being like, "Okay, all right.

[00:21:34]Yep. Okay." Oh, >> my mom my mom calls this kill him with kindness.

[00:21:39]>> Yeah.

[00:21:40]It works.

[00:21:42]>> Well, yeah. You feel absurd if you're just someone yelling at someone who's like, "Okay."

[00:21:47]>> Yes, sir. Mhm.

[00:21:48]>> Kick still won't take my cards or my Google Pay. And now YouTube won't let me say [ __ ] Spelled right. [ __ ] Obnubate. Paul.

[00:21:58]>> Whoa.

[00:21:59]>> What the [ __ ] is the [ __ ] is that?

[00:22:01]>> Obnubate.

[00:22:02]>> Whoa. That's a new one.

[00:22:03]>> Let's [ __ ] see.

[00:22:04]>> I don't even want to know what this one is. It sounds >> to obscure, darken, or cloud over. They want to cloud over you, Paul.

[00:22:12]>> They want to cloud me over.

[00:22:14]>> Yeah, they want to cloud you over.

[00:22:16]>> Seem like a friendly fellow.

[00:22:19]>> MAGA counterprotester at Delaney Hall.

[00:22:21]The Epstein files are a hoax. The Epstein Files are fake news. [ __ ] the Epstein Files. I'm so shocked.

[00:22:30]>> Persians for Trump, baby.

[00:22:43]Nobody cares about the empty file, man.

[00:22:48]>> I can't defend this, so nobody cares.

[00:22:50]>> Nobody cares about the empty files.

[00:22:53]The empty files are a hoax. The empty files are THE EMPTY FILES. WE WANT THE EMPTY FILES.

[00:23:04]You guys didn't really think they were a hoax when it was when you expected it was just going to be like Bill Clinton from [ __ ] stem to Stern.

[00:23:12]>> Democrats.

[00:23:13]>> Yeah. If it was just exclusively Democrats and enemies of Trump on that list, they'd [ __ ] they certainly wouldn't be a hoax then.

[00:23:22]>> But now they're a hoax.

[00:23:23]>> They just don't like it because Trump's mentioned more times in the files than Jesus is mentioned in the Bible.

[00:23:30][laughter] >> Yeah, it was just literally true. And by and by the way, that is act that's actually factually true. [laughter] >> Trump's name comes up more in the Epstein files than Jesus's name comes up in the Bible.

[00:23:44]>> You got to [ __ ] love it, dude.

[00:23:47]>> All right, so at this point, get a get a smaller bike.

[00:23:51]>> Yeah, you got to get a smaller bike.

[00:23:53]>> Check this out.

[00:23:53]>> I've seen this. Yeah.

[00:24:01]>> Yeah. She's like five feet tall.

[00:24:03]>> Yeah, dude. Get a get a smaller bike.

[00:24:05]Come on.

[00:24:06]>> That's too much bike for you. I don't I don't Look, you know, I get it. That's all that's all well and good, but like come on.

[00:24:11]>> If you have to literally stand on one side of the bike, we saw someone like this. It was a dude and his like wife or girlfriend back when we lived in [ __ ] California and he up like in Palmdale and it gets [ __ ] windy as [ __ ] This dude had a big like I think it was like a Honda like uh like some cruising bike and his bike [ __ ] fell over. They were not able to lift the [ __ ] bike back up. They were too [ __ ] short for the bike. And it's like dude, you got to buy a smaller [ __ ] bike. If you can't handle that bike, it's too big for you. And this is a case of like there's no way. I mean, she can do ride it technically, but this is not this is not size for someone this size. Like it's has nothing to do with the skill of the rider. It's like if you're not if you're not big enough to [ __ ] stand on the bike. I mean, clearly the fact that she can drive it at all shows that she's got the skill to do it, but she needs to get a bike that her feet can actually reach the ground on.

[00:25:00]>> Yeah, I would recommend that, >> you know. I mean, come on. Measuring the mosquito levels over the river.

[00:25:04]>> No. So, >> he sticks his hat out over the river, pulls it back. Look at that.

[00:25:11]>> Look at that [ __ ] mass filled.

[00:25:13]>> [ __ ] You got to be kidding me.

[00:25:16]>> They on you now, boy.

[00:25:19]You know, you hear you hear stories sometimes about uh people falling asleep on the bayou >> and literally being killed by mosquitoes.

[00:25:27]>> Jesus.

[00:25:28]>> Like the mosquitoes suck so much blood out of them that they just [ __ ] they don't have enough blood left to live.

[00:25:33]>> We went on a [ __ ] last time to mom to visit mom and Steve, we went on a swamp tour and dude, I'm telling you, dude, just even being on the boat and like like going around, you don't even go that deep in the [ __ ] swamp. Dude, I came back and I was like [ __ ] eating up. I was like, "Man, if you Dude, if you spent an extended period of time out there without bug spray or deed or some [ __ ] on you, you you would be you'd be covered in [ __ ] like that.

[00:25:55]>> It's crazy, man. It's [ __ ] crazy.

[00:25:58]Scotty, >> [ __ ] crazy, boy.

[00:26:01]>> What's this?"

[00:26:03]>> Oh [ __ ] A facial scanny robots.

[00:26:05]>> Let's see.

[00:26:07]Oh, these little evil dogs are going to [ __ ] end up killing us all.

[00:26:11]Are you a terrorist?

[00:26:15]terrorist scanning face.

[00:26:23]You are a terrorist. Die.

[00:26:29]Brought to you by Hyundai.

[00:26:32]And dances.

[00:26:33]>> Look, I do a cute little dance now. I'm not scary.

[00:26:36]>> I'm your friend.

[00:26:37]>> I bow before you, human.

[00:26:40]>> Bull the [ __ ] [ __ ] We ain't buying it, robot.

[00:26:44]See, they haven't shown you the future version of that where it scans you and if you're on the naughty list, then the then a machine gun pops out and it kills you. Terrorist detected.

[00:26:53][laughter] >> Oh [ __ ] Was it actually Was it actually a terrorist? Oops. Sorry. You receive one Hyundai credit.

[00:27:01]>> Miscalculation.

[00:27:02]We meant to say mother with baby and stroller. [laughter] Oops.

[00:27:07]>> Oopsie. Daisy. Ooh. We You received two Hyundai credit. Goodbye.

[00:27:13]My bad.

[00:27:16]>> Little sister wrecks apartment because older sister cannot financially support her anymore. Probably. Not probably. She can't. Probably won't.

[00:27:25]>> What the [snorts] [ __ ] is >> Why are you doing this?

[00:27:30][laughter] >> She has to stop being a baby.

[00:27:34]>> This house is [ __ ] wrecked, bro.

[00:27:38]>> Yeah.

[00:27:39]>> I didn't do anything.

[00:27:42]You know I came here TO GET HER HELP.

[00:27:44]>> WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

[00:27:46]>> HEY, why did you come and why did you break everything?

[00:27:51]>> Stop her.

[00:27:52]>> Yeah. What is this like weakwilled [ __ ] [ __ ] of like Oh, it's cool. Like >> maybe this is her little sister or some [ __ ] >> It is. But like, stop.

[00:28:01]>> Even if it is, I mean, if I came into if I came to Tito start smashing all his [ __ ] I'm pretty sure TJ wouldn't just sit by and go like, "Scotty, SCOTTY, PLEASE DON'T.

[00:28:09]>> [ __ ] YOU, TJ.

[00:28:12]STOP IT, SCOTTY.

[00:28:14]PLEASE.

[00:28:14]>> WELL, I mean, that would be But like, if that went the other way, though, >> maybe. I don't know.

[00:28:20]>> Probably still. No. I don't know.

[00:28:22]>> Scotty, don't throw hands. I mean, you ain't going to [ __ ] just sit there.

[00:28:25]Let me destroy his [ __ ] I mean, look, there's there's another ultimately another way. It's going to be this. Get out. Well, TJ, you done made a mistake.

[00:28:34][laughter] Like, you want to find out, then keep [ __ ] AROUND. SLEEP RIGHT ALL THE [ __ ] TIME.

[00:28:43]>> WHAT?

[00:28:45]>> I GOT [ __ ] GOT ME.

[00:28:49]>> I'm sorry.

[00:28:50]>> This [ __ ] knee is taking this [ __ ] hard. Where's my phone?

[00:28:54]>> She's my phone.

[00:28:55]>> Why is she Why is she doing this?

[00:28:57]>> Where's your phone?

[00:28:58]>> Why is she doing this? Cuz she's a [ __ ] spoiled little [ __ ] >> Yeah, she's never had to do [ __ ] her whole life. And her sister's now like, "Fuck this [ __ ] you're going to [ __ ] well her sister's probably working a job probably pays for this house pays for all the food pays for everything taking care of the family doing all this [ __ ] and it's like you're not and probably asked her for years I'm I'm guessing most situations like this to contribute and she's always either made an excuse or just blow it off or refuse and she's hit the limit. She's like you know what I'm not going to [ __ ] keep supporting you like you're a baby for the rest of your life. So now you got to take responsibility. This is this is how SHE DEALS WITH IT.

[00:29:30]>> BY TRASHING THE [ __ ] PLACE.

[00:29:33]>> WE'RE NOT CALLING THE COPS.

[00:29:35]>> CALL THE [ __ ] COPS.

[00:29:37]>> [ __ ] >> NO.

[00:29:39]>> THAT'S WHAT THEY SHOULD DO.

[00:29:42]>> Stop it. Stop it.

[00:29:44]>> Why are YOU DOING THIS?

[00:29:46]>> OH MY GOD. WHY?

[00:29:48]>> HEY, why why are we DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?

[00:29:51]>> STOP IT.

[00:29:54]>> OKAY.

[00:29:55]I MEAN, I guess they need to cuz they're so weak. They won't do anything.

[00:29:58]>> Luckily, there's no bleach in the house cuz, you know, that's pretty toxic.

[00:30:02]>> Um, >> oh my god, our Girl Scout cookies. Maybe we could salvage them. [laughter] >> Maybe you guys could grow us out of [ __ ] balls and if someone starts trashing your [ __ ] stop them. Whether you're family members or not, like I'm not saying the objects are super important, but like they're not going to clean this [ __ ] up.

[00:30:18]>> Fake for engagement. I mean, you could say that about [ __ ] 90% of [ __ ] Who knows? Maybe. No, we're not going to we're not here to determine whether someone's [ __ ] >> I can't [ __ ] I can't determine that.

[00:30:27]You can't determine that.

[00:30:29]>> We got to take it at face value. Who knows?

[00:30:31]>> Yeah, it could be a work.

[00:30:32]>> What's that? Although >> I don't know.

[00:30:35]>> I mean, they went through a lot of trouble for a [ __ ] work if it's a work cuz they [ __ ] destroyed this [ __ ] house.

[00:30:41]>> People will, dude. People will definitely go this far for work. Sure.

[00:30:45]>> The main thing is this TV obviously it's smashed um pretty badly. I don't think it's going to turn on my ukulele.

[00:30:53]>> Yeah, at least if they did it for work, they had to [ __ ] spend some money.

[00:30:56]I'll I'll give it this.

[00:30:57]>> But this stuff got water poured on it.

[00:30:59]This is still running. Oh, she broke my like little She broke everything.

[00:31:04]>> Yeah, I'm sorry.

[00:31:05]>> Um she because it's drying the chia seeds. All of our food is wasted. It's wasted. This is what >> This is thousands of dollars worth of [ __ ] [ __ ] So, I mean, if this is a work, they were committed to the [ __ ] work. Someone should have knocked her out fast. Yeah, I agree.

[00:31:24]Yeah, if it's not a work. Yeah, if if this is if this is a work, then it's just like, damn, they were [ __ ] dedicated to [ __ ] and they look, whatever money they made off this video going viral is well worth it cuz they [ __ ] spent thousands to make it. If it's not a work, then they're just a bunch of weak little [ __ ] >> Terrifying moment. Man in uh Soul sets Metro train on fire cuz he got a divorce. Couldn't handle it. Got a little pissed.

[00:31:50]>> So he set the train on fire cuz he got divorced.

[00:31:52]>> Yeah.

[00:31:54]>> What does that have to do with anybody else?

[00:31:56]>> He's just expressing himself. Scotty, you got a problem with that?

[00:31:59]>> Can he express himself in the woods by himself?

[00:32:02]>> No. Got to got to express himself on the train. Scotty.

[00:32:10]>> Oh, he's trying to kill everybody.

[00:32:11]>> Foam.

[00:32:13]>> So basically, let's commit a [ __ ] terror. I guess a terrorist act essentially because he got divorced.

[00:32:20]>> Yeah, you know. Well, it's a rough divorce, Scotty, you know.

[00:32:22]>> Okay. Well, he's a piece of [ __ ] I hope he died.

[00:32:25]>> He didn't. Maybe he did. I don't know.

[00:32:28]>> Oh, well, if he didn't die, hopefully he's in prison.

[00:32:31]>> [ __ ] that guy. What a scumbag.

[00:32:33]>> Yep. Wow. Me and Ren agree for once.

[00:32:35]Wow. Shocking. [music] >> [music] [music] [music]