Have I given back to Cambodia?

[00:00:00]What do I owe this place? Standing at the coffee stall, I I visit three or four times a week. I know her face. Uh she knows mine. I' I've probably bought iced tea here a hundred times.

[00:00:15]But while standing here, one question hit me. Have I actually given anything back to Cambodia or have I?

[00:00:27]I really don't have an answer, but that's what this video is all about.

[00:00:48]Why I came here.

[00:00:52]Here's an uncomfortable truth. Uh most expats now their videos never mention Cambodia didn't need me. I came because it benefited me.

[00:01:04]You know, it's it's affordable. My money goes uh further, less stressful, and you know, the pay suits me.

[00:01:13]And that's that's an honest starting point.

[00:01:16]I found peace here. I've built friendships, but underneath all of that, I came because this country improved my life.

[00:01:27]And that's where the question starts. If Cambodia has given me so much, what do I owe them in return?

[00:01:53]We usually think of taking as something dramatic, you know, and most of the time it isn't. It's just everyday habits.

[00:02:02]Four years here, my still isn't good enough for real conversations. That's kind of my my my choice. I had difficulties in class. I just couldn't retain. That's another story. Um, but also I say things like sometimes I'll negotiate over 50 cents. Not too much anymore, but but even though that 50 cents mattered far more to the seller than it did to me.

[00:02:28]And then of course there's YouTube.

[00:02:32]I walk around with a camera and now people's everyday lives become my content.

[00:02:39]I sometimes I ask myself, am I contributing something or I'm just simply turning this place into material for my channel? I'm not saying this to be, you know, to be guilty or anything or to feel guilty.

[00:02:53]I'm saying it because I think the question is worth asking.

[00:02:58]Uh I mean, if you've lived somewhere for years and you never asked yourself that question, maybe, just maybe, you've stopped being honest with yourself.

[00:03:17]what giving back actually looks like.

[00:03:22]I don't I don't think guilt is uh you know accomplishes much. Uh you know feeling bad doesn't change behaviors.

[00:03:31]You know contribution is usually much smaller than than people imagine. learn the language. Uh pay fair prices, stop bargaining automatically because you can. And if you hire people to like clean your apartment or do some work or whatever, you know, pay them a fair wage, pay them on time, and definitely treat them with respect.

[00:03:58]And also things like build long-term relationships uh you know, both with uh with you know, Kamay and and other expats. Sure, why not? And show up consistently.

[00:04:10]Uh, you know, contribution isn't usually just one big charitable moment. It's, uh, years of small decisions.

[00:04:19]Uh, consistency is most definitely its own form of respect. Uh, you know, my personal examples are, you know, helping new expats settle in and, you know, Tuesday morning coffee group. um you know that's that helps the expats but it uh it supports the local businesses because at that coffee shop there there could be anywhere between 10 and 16 of us sitting around having multiple cups of coffee or tea and uh you know uh cinnamon rolls or whatever they have there.

[00:04:51]>> [snorts] >> Um, so you know, whatever feels authentic to your experience, those things don't make headlines, but maybe that's what really matters.

[00:05:11]The guest mentality, one idea keeps coming back to me. I don't think I get to decide that I belong here. That's not my decision.

[00:05:23]Now, there's a difference between belonging and being. Okay, you can understand that, right? Belonging is something other people give you. It can't be claimed.

[00:05:34]I've I've heard expats say, "Oh, yeah.

[00:05:37]I've completely assimilated to the Cambodian society."

[00:05:43]Every time I hear that, it just makes me uncomfortable. uh you know because the moment you think that you've assimilated and um I think that's the moment you might stop paying attention you know after four years I still see myself as a guest and honestly I I think that's healthy um because being a guest reminds me to stay humble to listen more and to assume that I I still have a lot to turn the real answer.

[00:06:25]I don't have a perfect answer for this.

[00:06:28]No perfect conclusion to this or whatever. Um [snorts] I don't think uh there's some point where the debt is is ever really paid. I think this question stays with you.

[00:06:41]What do I owe this place?

[00:06:44]Maybe you're supposed to keep on asking it. The day you stop asking is probably the day you should worry. [laughter] I don't know. That's my personal belief.

[00:06:55]Okay. Um I don't see it as guilt anymore. I see it as responsibility. You know, ordinary responsibility. Uh you know, the choices I make, you know, with with the language, another story there.

[00:07:08]uh you know shopping in the market, the people around you and um the respect that you show every day back at the same coffee stall, same person, same routine. I don't have a perfect answer, but maybe asking the question is is the important part. Maybe staying uncomfortable a little bit helps us keep honest.

[00:07:33]So, if you live abroad or hope to someday, what do you think that you owe the place that you've chosen? Not the easy answer, the honest one. I'd really like to uh to read your thoughts in the comments below.

[00:07:58]And [music] um of course, you know, if you're still here, you're my number one fans. And I'll see you on the next one.

[00:08:05]Bye.