Fungi: The Unseen Internet Beating You

[00:00:00]This is what failure looks like. Orange, fuzzy, smug. That used to be lion's mane. Now it's my enemy. Here's the unsettling part about the thing that beat me, genetically. It is closer to you and me than it is to any plant. One fungus has more than 23,000 biological sexes.

[00:00:19]I can barely manage one relationship. It has 23,000 options and chose to grow on my failures. Underground, fungi wire entire forests together. Trees use this network to send food and warnings to each other. There is a working internet beneath your feet. It is fungal. Some fungi glow in the dark. A real cold green light.

[00:00:43]People in old forests called it foxfire.

[00:00:46]I call it the reason I no longer need a nightlight in the attic. One fungus fires its spores with the fastest movement in all of nature. Faster acceleration than a bullet leaving a gun. Silent, invisible, already in your lungs. You're welcome. Without fungi, the planet would be buried under every dead thing that ever lived. They eat the dead so the rest of us can keep going. I borrowed money to live with the cleanup crew of the entire Earth. No regrets. If a brainless recycler with 23,000 sexes just outclassed you in 1 minute, like this video and share it with someone who still thinks mushrooms are just pizza toppings. I'll be in the attic apologizing to the orange one.