Anti-estrangement therapists are wild, dude

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[00:00:00]Most therapists recognize that choosing to cut off a parent is a deeply personal and painful decision that a person must sometimes make. Most therapists don't push people one way or the other. They just try to empower people to make the best decision for them. Enter Peter Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist who flat out tells people that it's the wrong choice to cut off their parents.

[00:00:19]>> If you're cutting off your parents, you're actually not anywhere near breaking a cycle. In fact, you're perpetuating it. You're going to make the cycle significantly much worse.

[00:00:28]Before becoming an LMFT, it seems like Peter's background was mainly in theology. And from what I could gather from his Medium.com articles, he's a biblical man, conservativeleaning, and self ascribed rude person. He writes, "In more casual settings, I've noticed an occasional bluntness that may be perceived as rudeness. Acknowledging this aspect of myself has been prompted by consistent feedback from family, in-laws, and old friends urging me to refine my manners. While I appreciate their concern, there's a growing indifference within me. I confess this to you, not with defiance, but as a step towards selfhonesty. Admittedly, there's a sense of liberation in proclaiming, "I'm rude. Get over it." It's not an attempt to dismiss the issue, but a candid admission that at my age, 47, I prioritize authenticity over the weight of external judgments. On a completely unrelated note, it's a really good sign of emotional intelligence when someone is able to be flexible about receiving feedback from other people, especially when they're consistently getting the same feedback across the board from all people in different contexts. But sometimes people struggle with something called egoonic traits, which means that they hold certain traits that to other people are a problem, but to them they don't really perceive it as such. They kind of see it like everybody else's problem that they have an issue with it.

[00:01:45]Now, unlike the unethical, meany other therapists out there, Peter is here to tell us some harsh truths. Namely, cutting off your parents is perpetuating a toxic cycle. People who are actually abused don't do that. Aranged parents are not to blame, and their kids are narcissists. Let's take a closer look at some of his claims.

[00:02:15]Okay, so I have a few different Tik Toks of Peters that I wanted to address in this video. I'm just going to play the claim that he made and then I'm going to respond to each of them.

[00:02:25]>> To the good parents of Cut Off. All of these videos, again, I have to always preface it. These are to good parents.

[00:02:32]You know who you are. Okay. When Peter says that he always has to preface that he's speaking to good parents, do you as a therapist seriously think that a bad parent has the self-awareness to self-identify themselves as such?

[00:02:46]Because in my opinion, actual bad parents are the least likely to identify as bad parents. They think they were wonderful parents, whereas a lot of wonderful parents are constantly wondering if they're doing enough for their kids. Everyone has a very strong incentive to preserve a positive self-image. We want to see ourselves as good people and as good parents. And so when we do certain things that are not in line with what a good parent might do, we experience cognitive dissonance.

[00:03:13]Our mind is struggling to make sense of the two contradictory beliefs. I'm a good parent and yet I do things that a good parent does not sometimes do. So what does the mind do when it has that cognitive dissonance inside of it? It brings to the forefront defense mechanisms which make it damn near impossible to see yourself realistically. So you might minimize your behavior. Like if your child says to you, you know, you were yelling at me the other day. You might say, that wasn't yelling. We were just having a disagreement. Or you might employ Darvo, where you say, I didn't belittle you growing up. Actually, you're the one who made me feel like a bad person. You treat me horribly when all I want is to look after you. Or you might employ justifications. Yes, I hit you, but that was only so that you would never do that again. It was actually for your own good. Or blameshifting. I wouldn't have needed to leave you alone all weekend if your mother had accepted full custody.

[00:04:01]All these basically serve the same function. To restore self-esteem, to restore their sense that they are a good person. This is why I literally just made an entire video on this. When we look at parents who we know are abusive because of other sources, because of CPS allegations, a massive percentage of them either partially or fully deny that they are abusive, that they do abusive things. And this is why whenever anti-estrangement people get on the internet and they say things like, "I'm talking to the good parents out there," it's really important to be specific.

[00:04:30]I'm talking to parents who have never put their hands on their child in an unwanted way, who do not engage in manipulation and emotional abuse, who do not use XYZ tactic against their child.

[00:04:40]And even then, parents who do those things would not necessarily identify themselves out of the discussion due to the way that they rewrite narratives to preserve their self-esteem. They're still likely to be the good parents who think you're talking to them.

[00:04:52]>> The reason why your kid may have cut you off, I'm going to throw you off, I'm throw you off, I'm throw you a little bone here, could be because your kid has a personality disorder that has been misdiagnosed for a number of years. And what's happening or what has happened in these past several years is that they got involved with a therapist that does not know how to diagnose personality disorders. that therapist has been, I suppose you would say, thrown into into their tornado, playing a victim, playing a rescuer, or playing a persecutor. And that therapist, who was naive to personality disorders, started to validate your child's view of reality, which is extremely re revisionist.

[00:05:31]That therapist then told your client, your excuse me, your child then cut you off because they saw you as a threat. I almost guarantee that that's probably what's going on with a lot of these cases right now. There are a lot of therapists who have never they don't know. They've really never gotten treatment or excuse me, they never got any treatment for personality disorders.

[00:05:52]They never they never got training for it. I myself just got trained in it literally about a year and a half, two years ago. It totally blew my mind. The myth of personality disorders, the myth 101 really is that it's the parents fault really. It's actually genetic. has nothing to do with parenting. Uh it has nothing to do with trauma. There's a lot of people who have had tons of trauma, never had a personality disorder.

[00:06:14]There's also lots of people with personality disorders and yet they never manifested trauma. So the first thing that you need to understand, you got to stop blaming yourself that your kid has personality disorder if that's the case.

[00:06:25]>> Personality disorders have nothing to do with parenting or trauma. Let's discuss primarily cluster B personality disorders because let's be real, that's usually what people are talking about when they talk about personality disorders in this context. Let's start with borderline personality disorder.

[00:06:40]Studies estimate that about 80% of those diagnosed with BPD have experience serious trauma. It's generally accepted in the field of psychology that BPD is very often triggered by early and severe trauma such as early attachment ruptures and essay. Let's look at the therapist's bible, the DSM5. Physical and sexual abuse, neglect, hostile conflict, and early parental loss are more common in the childhood histories of those with BPD. What goes in the DSM is highly corroborated in the scientific literature, almost to a fault. Meaning that like if something is not like 99% corroborated by enough research, it's not going to make its way in here. Even things that like the field of psychology says should be in the DSM like complex trauma take super long to end up in here simply because you need a huge body of literature to support it. So the fact that the DSM acknowledges how incredibly traumaborn BPD is should tell you that there's a lot of research behind that claim. What about other cluster B personality disorders? Those with diagnoses of antisocial personality disorder, what is more commonly called psychopathy, and narcissistic personality disorder, report experiencing abuse at rates around 50 to 70%. From the DSM5, again, regarding antisocial personality disorder, child or neglect, unstable or erratic parenting, or inconsistent parental discipline may increase the likelihood that a conduct disorder will evolve into antisocial personality disorder. Conduct disorder, if you're not aware, is the precursor to antisocial personality disorder that you need to have in childhood in order to be later diagnosed with psychopathy. Regarding narcissistic personality disorder, research has linked its development to parenting style, parental hostility, parental overindulgence. To be fair, narcissistic personality disorder doesn't show as high rates of childhood trauma as other personality disorders, and there does seem to be a stronger genetic component for it. However, it's definitely still associated with less than ideal parenting choices according to the literature. Now, typically speaking, there's about a 50% genetic component in personality disorders, but it's usually an epigenetic interaction. You have a temperamental vulnerability, meaning like the seeds of your personality that you're naturally born with have a vulnerability to become a certain way, and that interacts with traumas and stressors that you experience across your life to develop a personality disorder. So, is it true that personality disorders are not related to parenting or parental abuse? Abso fuckingutely not.

[00:09:10]>> The second thing is is that you have to stop blaming like you did something wrong when they could actually be fed by a therapist who's very naive about personality disorders and they are literally caught up in the drama of what your child has given to them. And now that therapist is believing their lie, your kid is continuing to believe this lie manifested by the lie they're telling themselves through their therapist, thinking that cut off is somehow a good thing because you're such a toxic person. I find that he's just kind of pandering to a strange parents at this point. It's a very common talking point that a therapist is getting their child to cut them off. And I guess I'm just curious, where does Peter get this idea from? Has he seen it happen personally? If so, how, you know, how could he be in the room with other therapists conducting therapy? Did a fellow therapist with whom he was consulting or supervising or supervised by explicitly push a client towards cutting off their parent? Because if he has no concrete evidence that he can point to that, yeah, therapists actually encourage their clients to cut off their parents. It makes me wonder why he thinks it without proof. We don't tend to believe things without evidence unless we have a psychological motivation. You know, like let's say that I believe my cat has been stealing food from my fridge. She doesn't have thumbs to open the fridge, and I have no proof that she did it, but food keeps disappearing, and I don't want to believe that I'm the one eating it so quickly, so I must believe that my cat has suddenly developed thumbs. Why is this such a tantalizing narrative for parents that somebody out there is brainwashing their child into choosing to go no contact? Because when you do that, the blame gets shifted onto a different target, which is very quick relief from the shame of accountability.

[00:10:50]It also resonates with aranged parents who have a certain ideology, one where they view mainstream therapists as like a threat to the nuclear family and to the status quo because basically they're sending the message to clients that it's okay to not have a relationship with your family of origin if they're mistreating you. Based on his Medium articles, I suspect Peter might hold a similar ideology to a lot of those estranged parents. In one article, Peter criticizes the APA's commitment to social justice. And then he says, "The problem lies in the proposed shift towards a social justice awareness lens, which lacks the scientific rigor inherent in the scientific method." Now, to be fair, I agree with Peter that the field of therapy no longer has as much diversity of thought. And that can be a problem because it's important for any field to have a wide range of beliefs so that scientists can fact check each other and can say, "Hey, have you considered actually this other theory?"

[00:11:44]And then maybe we learned that there's a little bit of truth to what they're saying. And hopefully we get closer to the truth rather than just to confirming our own beliefs. But let's be real for a second. A lot of estranged parents find therapists so easy to blame because it absolves them of taking responsibility for their own actions while giving them a politically convenient scapegoat. It's this us versus them tribalism where their child was stolen by the woke tribe rather than what I think is a much more likely scenario which is that their child left the tribe of their own valition because the next tribe over treats them much better than their family of origin ever did. Now, what Peter did just here is called character assassinating as a way of invalidating a person's trauma. If the argument is that aranged kids are wrong, probably because they have a personality disorder, I find that pretty concerning. Even people with personality disorders can experience trauma and abuse and they shouldn't have their perspective immediately dismissed merely because they suffer from a personality disorder. Peter, like myself, is a fan of the concept that two things can be true at once. So, he should agree that the following two things can coexist. An adult child might have a personality disorder and that adult child might have experienced mistreatment at the hands of their parents. And in reality, personality disorders are one of the strongest signs that something went very wrong in the parenting process. It's also a little bit ironic that he's diagnosing people he's never met with narcissism, considering that's also a common projection among estranged parents. They say, you know, therapists are diagnosing the parents of adult children that they see while they are also calling their children narcissists. The reason people do this is because narcissism is currently the most stigmatized mental health diagnosis. It's virtually seen these days as synonymous with abuser or bad person. So, if you want to character assassinate someone very quickly, all you got to do is just label them a narcissist. We haven't even gotten to some of the most outrageous things that Peter has said. But first, I like to balance out my media consumption with something a lot more positive. I'm so happy that this video is sponsored by MasterClass because their lessons have genuinely changed my life. I'm not exaggerating. When I watch a class, I take it very seriously. I take notes. I grab a drink. I treat it as both self-care and personal development. It's become a very cherished ritual for me.

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[00:15:07]>> So, there's a lot of community out there that talks about let's break cycles. I want to address that. How do you actually break a cycle? If you're cutting off your parents, you're actually not anywhere near breaking a cycle. In fact, you're perpetuating it.

[00:15:22]You're going to make the cycle significantly, much worse. If you're cutting off your parents, you're actually not anywhere near breaking a cycle. It's quite a black and white statement, isn't it? If you're cutting off a parent who is horrifically abusive to you, let's say maybe you yourself have kids, that's not breaking a cycle, Peter. I'm sure if prodded about it, Peter would tell us that he's not talking about actual situations of abuse. But in practice, he's making a very sweeping statement without having any idea who is on the other end of the phone. In reality, it's quite likely that there's going to be an aranged adult child that comes across this video who already feels guilty about the fact that they had to cut off their parent because they were trained very well by their parent growing up. And who's going to see this and go, "Maybe I should backtrack. Maybe I was the problem.

[00:16:06]Maybe I did something bad. Maybe I should reconnect with them." So, the people who are most severely programmed into compliance by their parents' emotional blackmail, who have had their self-esteem broken down so much that they immediately default to self-lame, who immediately backtrack on their boundaries, are likely to come across this video and take it to heart. When Peter says that you're perpetuating a cycle, you're making it significantly worse. This is, in my opinion, just fear-mongering. Let's again review the components of emotional blackmail. Fear, obligation, and guilt. You can remember it with the acronym FOG. Fear. If you don't make amends with your parents, you're going to regret it your whole life. Your own kids will cut you off.

[00:16:43]Obligation. You only have one mother or father. You owe them this. They did the best they could. They put a roof over your head. Guilt. You're a bad person or a narcissist. If you cut off your parents, you're doing a bad thing.

[00:16:54]You're hurting people. So, let's play a game. Let's see how many of these three components Peter demonstrates in his content.

[00:17:01]>> I have seen this over and over again.

[00:17:04]Let's take a helicopter parent.

[00:17:06]Let's take an avoidant parent. Whatever it is, if you are cutting off your parents, you will do the complete opposite of what your parents did. Is that a good thing? No, it's not a good thing. If you're born with a parent that, say, for example, disciplines you way too much. You decide to cut them off because you want to quote break the cycle. You know what you're going to do?

[00:17:26]You're going to give your kid everything. Your kid is going to grow up with everything. They're not going to hear the word no. Is that better? It's not better. it's a whole lot worse.

[00:17:36]>> I do agree that there's always a risk of overcorrection when someone who did not identify with the values of their parent then becomes a parent themselves. You know, like let's say you had very authoritarian parents. You didn't like that. You stepped away from them and then you go on to raise your kids in a very permissive way because you overcorrected. You didn't realize that like, hey, when I veer too far to the opposite direction, that's also not so good. I actually talked about this over on Patreon, how I feel like our life work as parents is to recalibrate ourselves when we find ourselves overcorrecting. But this is true of all parents, not just those who are estranged from their own parents. In fact, I think it's true of most things in life that we need to be cautious to not overcorrect when we set out to do things differently. You know, like if you're initially somebody who was eating very unhealthy and you try to correct that, don't overcorrect it to the point where you develop orthorexia. So, in my opinion, Peter's point is not really relevant to estrangement specifically.

[00:18:30]The way he's using this argument just kind of feels like he's trying to scare people out of ending a relationship with their parents.

[00:18:36]>> So, how do you break a cycle? You don't cut off your parents because that's a form of avoidance.

[00:18:42]>> I would argue that actually cutting off your parents is sometimes the very opposite of avoidance. It's looking at reality in the face and recognizing that this is the last thing that you actually have the power to control is to step away from this relationship. that you have to accept all the other things that are outside of your control such as that person's behavior.

[00:18:59]>> The only way to actually break a cycle and this is what Daniel Seagull talks about in his wonderful book parenting from the inside out is actually called the work of exoneration. What is exoneration is this you have to put yourself in your parents shoes with the resources that they had at the time with the knowledge that they had at the time and then ask yourself a question. Would you have done something better? And honestly, when you truly take a good look from that approach, you have to admit one thing. The answer is usually no. You understand your parents' story, even if they weren't great parents.

[00:19:38]Then through the process of exoneration, you can go in two paths. You can either choose to forgive them, which might take a while. I get that. That was kind of my story. or you can choose to be more assertive with them. And when you parent, this is how you break the cycle.

[00:19:54]You don't do the opposite approach by just cutting them off. You transcend it.

[00:19:59]And you learn assertiveness. You learn techniques that make you not to do the opposite or to become overly imshed, but to transcend because you both understand yourself that if you were in the same position, you would have done the same things. So that then allows you to have the compassion both for the parents and for yourself because you're going to be doing things that you think your parents shouldn't have done either. And that's the problem with a lot of these people who are cutting off their moms and dads.

[00:20:25]They think they would have done better and they're starting to realize at the same law that they apply to other people. They don't actually fulfill themselves. Therefore, that's why they feel guilty all the time. So in order for you to really quote break the cycle, it's not through cut off. It's actually through the art of exoneration. And then that gives you the ability to transcend.

[00:20:46]That's how you quote break any unhealthy cycle.

[00:20:48]>> Let's talk about this work of exoneration that Peter talks about. He asks, "Would you have done something better with the tools at your disposal if you had been in their shoes?" My problem with this is that you could literally apply it to any situation. In literally any situation, if you were exactly in another person's shoes and had exactly the same tools at their disposal, you probably would do the same thing as them. And that doesn't mean that what that person chose to do is okay. There are people out there who commit horrific acts, some of whom maybe even had good intentions, many of whom likely would have turned out differently if they'd had different tools at their disposal or a different life history. We can understand that as a way of feeling compassion for them. We can try to get them help. We can even forgive them, but that doesn't change the harm that they've caused, and it doesn't mean we need to stay in a relationship with them. Let's say, for example, that somebody essays a stranger on a train, but oh, could they have done better with the tools at their disposal cuz they were raised in an abusive family and they didn't have therapy and they have mental illness. Would you do any better in their shoes? Probably not. If you had exactly the same life circumstances and brain and emotions as them, you probably would also do exactly the same thing.

[00:21:57]And that's a tough thing to sit with, but you could literally apply it to any horrific act. Peter says that we can either forgive our parents or become more assertive with them. But this is a false binary in my opinion. In reality, there are a lot of different options. We can forgive our parents and be more assertive. You can forgive your parents and cut them off. You can not forgive your parents and cut them off. Let's not pretend that assertiveness is enough. We can't control others behavior. At some point, if they're not able to respect our most basic human rights, cutting off is a necessary last resort. It is the ultimate last act of assertiveness. I would argue I'm just feeling very uncomfortable that an LMFT feels so comfortable telling thousands of strangers online what is the correct choice to make with their life. He should know that even therapists don't usually know what's the right decision for someone, what's going to happen further down the line if they choose a certain decision. And I understand that he took the route of forgiveness with his own parents, but he shouldn't project his life choices onto everyone else. It comes off as like weirdly defensive and it makes me wonder if he's truly at peace with his choice. And it also makes me think about how if he's not at peace with his choice and this is something that's not processed, it could probably lead to a lot of counter transference with his clients. You know, like if a client comes in and says, I think I want to cut off my parent because of XYZ reason and XYZ reason is exactly what his own parents did, but he chose to forgive his parents and he feels some type of way about it, but he doesn't want to look at that in the face. It's much easier for him to then tell that client, you should forgive your parent. All right, let's do one more Tik Tok by Peter.

[00:23:28]>> Okay, I want to talk to the parents out there whose kids decided to cut them off. I'm not talking about the parents who really kind of messed up. All right, you guys know you know what you need to do. You have to go apologize. All right, it's just what you have to do. No, I want to talk to the parents out there whose kids have cut them off even though you as parents have basically did the best you possibly can.

[00:23:47]>> So, he's talking to parents who were cut off but did the best they possibly could. Isn't that true of all parents based on his own logic in the past Tik Tok? Didn't we all do the best we could with the tools at our disposal? So, he's literally talking to all parents no matter how abusive they may have been.

[00:24:03]>> Okay, that's where the growing epidemic is happening. It's not happening with like serious abuse. Here's the thing.

[00:24:11]Trauma is an overused word. Abuse is by far an overused word. And what you want to stop doing as a parent is buying into the language that your coddled, unappreciative, spoiled little kid is using against you during Thanksgiving or Christmas on why they continue to cut you off as if you did something wrong.

[00:24:32]Stop buying into their language of being abusive or oppressive when really you were just basically being a very good parent. Comb your hair, brush your teeth. Hey, Billy, why don't you go to the gym because you look kind of big.

[00:24:50]Okay, here's the thing. Most people who are under 30, anytime you challenge them, they immediately see it as, "Oh my gosh, my mom is abusing me." She's not abusing you. Okay, that's actually a sign that you're overly overly coddled.

[00:25:07]Do you actually want to know, for example, whether or not you have been dramatized? Are you ready for this? Do you know why I know most of you have not been traumatized? Cuz you talk about it all the time. Do you know what trauma does to the human brain? It shuts down the brochas area. Do you know what the brocas area is? It's the verbal processing part of your brain. So guess what happens when you actually have trauma? You don't talk about it on TikTok and you don't talk about it on Instagram. In fact, most people who have actually had that I have actually had in my office, okay, who've actually been traumatized, I have to convince them that they have been traumatized. And the second thing is they don't even know how to talk about it. Okay? So, that just basically gets rid of about 95% of you who talk so much about how traumatized you are.

[00:25:55][ __ ] You weren't traumatized. It's called stress. It's called having a relationship with somebody that's trying to raise your ass when you're being a jerk. Okay?

[00:26:06]Listen, parents, hear me out. Stop apologizing when you did the best you could. Stand up for yourself. Get a backbone. All right? Don't buy into this drama that you somehow abused or traumatized them when all you did, all you did was the very best that you possibly could. Good for you. I'm proud of you. I am proud of you. You were a good parent. And just because your kid is a coddled narcissist who doesn't appreciate you doesn't mean that you were a bad parent. You weren't. I'm proud of you. And don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

[00:26:44]>> So many generalizations in this entire Tik Tok. Cutting off your parents doesn't happen with serious abuse.

[00:26:50]Really? So none of the people cutting off their parents were actually abused.

[00:26:53]None of them. Again, what is your source for this, Peter? Because studies consistently show that people who cut off their parents cite abuse as one of the main reasons of the massive percentage of people who experience child abuse in this world. All of them actually stay in contact with their parents. And all the ones that are cutting off their parents happen to be the ones whose parents were all wonderful who are choosing the most unnatural act of rejecting their own parents. Something that we are biologically and socially programmed not to do because they're just bad. They're just bad kids. They were born to be narcissists and they're just mean old meanies. Anytime you challenge someone under 30, they take that to mean they're being abused. Okay, aside from being another massive [ __ ] overgeneralization, he's speaking about like millions, maybe billions of people here, it's also a cheap and aist shot.

[00:27:42]Sure, there's some truth to the idea that young adults are sensitive to having their worldview challenged because they're working on discovering their own identities, something which, by the way, I would hope a therapist would know not to pathize. But dismissing someone's allegations of abuse simply because of their age is a really gross thing to do. If his source is his own estranged parent clients that he works with, he should really try to familiarize himself with the research showing that abusers minimize and distort their own abuse. I'm willing to bet that a lot of estranged parents say, "My kid is just mad at me cuz I didn't show up at their soccer game one time."

[00:28:14]But if you were to actually ask their child, they would say, "I actually have a list of dozens of instances of behaviors that a group of experts in abuse would identify as abuse. people who have actually been traumatized don't talk about it or identify it as trauma.

[00:28:28]If you genuinely believe this, you have not worked with enough traumatized individuals because trauma survivors come in all presentations, including presentations where the person recognizes what happened was trauma and stands up for themselves. There's definitely the stereotype of like the trauma victim who is meek and submissive and doesn't realize they're being abused. But that's not the only way of being a trauma survivor. There are also trauma survivors who are assertive and sometimes even problematic. Doesn't mean they didn't experience trauma.

[00:28:56]Especially because as people heal, they slowly become more and more empowered to recognize the reality of what happened to them. And that's a common reason why abusers typically blame the therapist.

[00:29:06]They say, you know, your therapist turned you against me. When in reality, the therapist just helped them become more empowered. And abusers don't tend to like their victims getting more power. A more accurate statement from Peter would be to say that trauma sometimes shuts down verbal processing at least initially in the like freeze phase in the shock phase of a trauma happening. But sometimes people want to talk about the trauma a lot. Other times people cycle between the two between freezing and not wanting to talk about it and wanting to talk about it a lot.

[00:29:35]Sometimes people literally heal through words through therapy through writing through journaling. So, it is wildly inaccurate to claim that actually traumatized individuals would never talk about it or identify it as trauma. In addition to there being just a ton of overgeneralizations in this Tik Tok, there are also a lot of assumptions such as the assumption that the person he's talking to was a good parent. Here's his examples are you were a good parent cuz you combed their hair and brushed their teeth. What the [ __ ] You're a therapist and the bar is that low for you? That's what you think determines a good parent?

[00:30:06]That they weren't physically neglecting their child? I am so tired right now.

[00:30:09]This is what pandering looks like.

[00:30:11]Telling a population exactly what they want to hear. You're not to blame. Your kid is the one who has a character flaw like narcissism. You are a good parent.

[00:30:18]Your kid's trauma isn't real. The problem is actually that you don't have a backbone. You need to be even harsher, more rigid, more assertive, more aggressive, maybe even become more rude like me, cuz it's an act of authenticity. I always wonder when someone makes such sweeping black and white statements like this if they're actually just talking to themselves. if they're just telling themselves what they think they need to hear psychologically. But I guess we'll never know. I feel my brain physically melting making this video. So, I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, make sure to give it a like and comment your own thoughts down below. Thank you so much.

[00:30:58]Tell me what you want. What you need?