Their Desires Were Blood And Women: John Glanton's Scalp Hunters Attack Mexicans And Apaches, 1848

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[00:00:00]Sonora Mexico, 1848.

[00:00:03]18-year-old Samuel Chamberlain, a veteran of the Mexican-American War, has left the army to join John Glanton's band of scalp hunters. He was recruited by crying Tom Hitchcock when Chamberlain was punished by an officer for sketching some of the remote areas of northern Mexico that the army was passing through on their way to California. In this episode, we will hear about Chamberlain's first encounter with Glanton and about some of the actions of the gang after he joined. We will be reading from this book, My Confession, Recollections of a Rogue. This book was completed by Chamberlain in 1861, but it was not officially published until 1956.

[00:00:42]And it was the inspiration for Cormac McCarthy's 1985 book, Blood Meridian.

[00:00:48]So, here are the tragic, sometimes disturbing scenes that Samuel Chamberlain witnessed when he joined Glanton's gang of Sonoran scalp hunters in 1848.

[00:00:59]20 miles from the canyon, we came to a mule trail that crossed the ravine and descended the right-hand bank on foot.

[00:01:06]We came out on a broad plateau and after an hour's sharp trot, came in sight of some distant buildings on a hill. Mud hovels, the tower of a church, and a presidio. This was the town of Fronteras. Leaving the trail, we directed our course toward a small grove of cottonwoods on the bank of a small stream. Here under the shade trees, engaged in sleeping, playing cards, cleaning arms, or grooming horses, were some 40 wild brigand-like men who welcomed my companion with rough greetings. To my great joy, my old acquaintances Ben Tobin, Doc Irving, and Sam Tate, of McCulloch's Rangers, came forward and bid Palancio Jack welcome to Glanton's bivouac.

[00:01:49]A rough-looking, short, thickset man came forward and saluted Hitchcock and myself in the following choice language.

[00:01:57]"What in the hell have you got there, Tom? Where were you spawned, stranger, and where do you tie up?" I recognized in this frontier Chesterfield the John Glanton of the San Antonio Bear Exchange tragedy, and was about to answer him when he extended his hand as if to shake hands with me.

[00:02:15]I reached out my hand when the ruffian with a horse laugh seized me by the nose, giving it a severe twist.

[00:02:22]Surprised and indignant at such unwarranted treatment, the moment he let go without thinking of the consequence, I struck him with all my might in the face, sending him to the grass.

[00:02:33]My safety was now the question.

[00:02:35]Springing onto my horse, I drew my revolver, but fortunately before I could fire, I was lassoed and dragged to the ground and tied to a tree.

[00:02:45]Glanton arose with the blood streaming from his face, staggered up to me, and presented a cocked revolver to my head.

[00:02:52]Though I expected instant death, I looked the brute calmly in the eyes while I silently prayed to my heavenly Father for forgiveness.

[00:03:00]For full 1 minute, he glared into my eyes with a cold tube pressed against my forehead, and then lowering his pistol, he grasped my hand and shaking it warmly said, "Real grit, stranger. You'll pass. You strike like the kick of a burrow."

[00:03:17]I found I had passed a successful ordeal and was thus initiated into Glanton's band.

[00:03:23]There were Sonorans, Cherokee and Delaware Indians, French Canadians, Texans, Irishmen, a black man, and a full-blooded Comanche in this band of scalp hunters, with a miscellaneous collection of weapons and equipments, and a diversity of costumes seldom seen in a regular organized body of volunteers for Indian warfare. John Glanton was born in South Carolina, but when a mere youth, his parents moved to Texas and joined the settlements of Stephen F. Austin.

[00:03:51]Nothing remarkable distinguished Glanton in his youth from the other young men of the settlements, without it was a deep religious feeling and a strict moral conduct. A young orphan girl whose parents had been killed by Lipans gained the affection of the young South Carolinian.

[00:04:07]His love was returned. The marriage day was set, though his affiance was only 17.

[00:04:13]Glanton had built a log hut for his bride on the bank of the beautiful Guadalupe. And one day, while most of the male settlers were at Austin's house discussing the threatening attitude of Mexico, a band of Lipan warriors charged on the outskirts of Gonzales, killing and scalping the old women and young children, and carrying away the girls, Glanton's betrothed among the latter.

[00:04:36]The alarm was given and instant pursuit made by the frenzied frontiersmen. The next day, the Indians were overtaken and suffered a severe defeat at the hands of the outraged Texans. But the prize for which they fought, the poor girls, were tomahawked and scalped while the fight was raging.

[00:04:52]From this tragic scene, Glanton returned a changed man. He would often absent himself from the village, and when he returned, he invariably brought fresh scalps.

[00:05:02]During the War of Texas Independence, Glanton was a free scout attached to Fannin's command, and was one of the few who escaped from the massacre at Goliad.

[00:05:12]He always raised the hair of his slain, and rumor gave him the credit of being the owner of a mule load of these barbarous trophies, smoke-dried in his lonely hut on the Guadalupe.

[00:05:23]He drank deeply and sought the companionship of the most hardened desperados of the frontier. In all Indian fights, he was the devil incarnate.

[00:05:33]During the civil wars between the regulators and moderators, Glanton would join neither party, but with the utmost impartiality picked a quarrel with some famous fighter of one or the other party, and rubbed him out. Any other man in Texas would have been lynched, but his terrible loss, his services in the Mexican and Indian wars, made him respected by the masses and gave him strong friends of men in power.

[00:05:58]He was outlawed by Houston, but this did not affect him in the least. During the late war between the United States and Mexico, he was a free ranger, hanging around our army without belonging to it, often going out with scouting parties, but always independent of all authority.

[00:06:14]At the close of the Mexican war, hearing that the governor of Sonora was offering dollars for every Apache scalp brought in, he organized a motley band of adventurers and entered into the service of his old enemy, General Jose de Urrea, the butcher of Fannin's command. Urrea gladly gave all encouragement to the scalp hunters and seemed equally pleased when ranger or Indian went under. He offered an additional bounty of $1,000 for the hair of the famous Apache chief, Santana.

[00:06:43]Glanton had made two raids in the Indian country, but with a small profits and had met with considerable loss. There was in camp drawing 37 of those disgusting articles of trade, Apache scalps, but with a right ear on to prevent fraud, as some Indians have two circles to their hair. This was the band of cutthroats that I had joined and such was John Glanton, the captain of the scalp hunters of Sonora.

[00:07:10]Next day after my arrival at Fronteras, Glanton with 10 men started for Lavia de Mapimi to obtain the bounty on the scalps. During their absence, we had rather a gay time, attending fandangos in town and receiving calls of the poblanas of the place in camp.

[00:07:27]The second in command, now left in charge of the camp, was a man of gigantic size called a Judge Holden of Texas.

[00:07:35]Who or what he was, no one knew, but a cooler blooded villain never went on hung. He stood 6 ft 6 in his moccasins, had a large fleshy frame, a dull tallow-colored face destitute of hair and all expression.

[00:07:50]His desires were blood and women, and terrible stories were circulated in camp of horrid crimes committed by him when bearing another name in the Cherokee nation in Texas. And before we left Fronteras, a little girl of 10 years was found in the chaparral, foully violated and murdered. The mark of the huge hand on her little throat pointed him out as the ravisher, as no other man had such a hand. But though all suspected, no one charged him with the crime.

[00:08:20]Holden was by far the best educated man in northern Mexico. He conversed with all in their own language, spoke in several Indian lingos. At a fandango, he would take the harp or guitar from the hands of the musicians and charm all with his wonderful performance. And he would out-waltz any poblana of the ball.

[00:08:39]He was plumb center with rifle or revolver, a daring horseman, acquainted with the nature of all the strange plants and their botanical names, great in geology and mineralogy. In short, another admirable Crichton. And with all, an arrant coward. Not but that he possessed enough courage to fight Indians and Mexicans or anyone where he had the advantage in strength, skills, and weapons. But where the combat would be equal, he would avoid it if possible.

[00:09:06]I hated him at first sight, and he knew it. Yet nothing could be more gentle and kind than his deportment towards me. He would often seek conversation with me and speak of Massachusetts, and to my astonishment, I found he knew more about Boston than I did. At the end of 5 days, Glanton returned without money, three of the party wounded, and all as mad as hornets. Their story was as follows. The second night after they left us, they discovered a camp of Sonorans, and judging that they must have goods of value along, they resolved to plunder them, disguising themselves as Indians.

[00:09:42]At midnight, they charged the camp with frightful yells. The surprised Sonorans made but little resistance and fled, leaving their camp to the supposed Apaches. Glanton found some 40 mules and burros with pack saddles, blankets, provisions, etc., but no money and five women. Three Mexicans were killed. They were scouts, as well as three of the women who, being old and ugly, were knocked on the head.

[00:10:07]The murderers, turning loose the stock, withdrew, carrying away the best of the blankets and two young senoritas.

[00:10:14]Traveling all night, they reached a retired place that they considered safe from pursuits. Here they spents the day in a brutal saturnalia, the two girls being subjected to gratify the lust of the gang.

[00:10:26]At dark, they in turn were surprised by a large body of Sonorans who took them for Apaches. The unfortunate girls were brained at once to prevent all unpleasant discovery, and then with a fierce war whoop of the Tontos, they charged their assailants with Indian lances, with so much fury that they gained a free passage.

[00:10:45]Glanton, not deeming it safe to venture into Mapimi, returned to Fronteras with eight additional scalps and three men wounded.

[00:10:54]A stormy council of war was held.

[00:10:57]Glanton said that the senoritas had stated that their party was on its way to Upper California, where gold had been found in immense quantity. Similar rumors of gold had been reaching Fronteras, so we now decided to go gold hunting. Hitchcock alone doubted our success in California. He thought that Major Graham's command would gather all the gold before we could reach the placers, and volunteered to venture into Mapimi and cache the hair, the bounty amounting to over $2,000.

[00:11:25]Glanton gave the required permission, and with Long Webster and Charlie McIntosh, a Cherokee half-breed, Tom left with the scalps, both Indian and Mexican.

[00:11:35]We gave out that we were all going to Mapimi and passed through Fronteras together making a great display of the raised hair and Indian lances.

[00:11:44]When 5 mi from the Presidio, Hitchcock and his two companions, after being instructed to meet up at the end of 8 days at a place well known to the band, Ojo del Conejo or Rabbit Spring, kept on to the south. The rest and Indian file climbed the mesa on our left and pushed on over the parched up plain.

[00:12:05]We passed a few miserable herdsman's huts, the inhabitants fleeing in a fright taking us for Apaches. To impress this belief more forcibly on their minds, we gave them a specimen of savage war whoops and toward night coming on to a drove of fat beeves, we killed several and sent the rest scampering away with the arrows sticking in their flanks.

[00:12:26]This with the remains of a poor vaquero who was killed and scalped by Judge Holden was sufficient to convince all Arizuma or Arizona that the fell Apaches were out on the warpath in force.

[00:12:39]We passed the night at a deserted hacienda feasting on the juicy beef and smoking the rest packed along. Next day we reached the rendezvous at Rabbit Spring. The place had been recently visited by numerous horsemen. The ground around the spring was trod into mire.

[00:12:55]There were fresh horse chips, remains of cattle and other signs of late visitors.

[00:13:00]An arrow sticking in a lofty pitahaya nearby informed the experienced eyes of our mountain men that the horsemen were Maricopas. Scouts were dispatched on all sides, hunting parties sent out. A camp was formed in a gulch near the spring and every precaution taken to ensure our safety and comfort until the return of Hitchcock.

[00:13:21]Our scouts reported that the Indian trail led towards New Mexico. The hunters returned with cattle and sheep, so we lived right royally. In 7 days, our hair traders returned. Their venture had been a decided success. Glanton's little affair had, after all, helped them, as the Sonorans continued to believe that the attack had been made by Apaches. Urey's agents paid them the cash, the Mexican scalps passing for good Indian without question.

[00:13:49]Hitchcock brought a supply of pass whiskey, ammunition, and pinola.

[00:13:53]That night, a regular orgy was held in camp. Glanton proved that he was well fitted to be the master spirit of the fiendish band. Drinking deeply, he swore with the most fearful oaths that we were all sinners bound to eternal perdition, that it was his mission to save us. He then knelt down and, in well-chosen words, prayed with all the fervor of a hard-shell Baptist for the salvation of all. Suddenly, he sprang up and, drawing his revolver, opened fire on us right and left. One of the Canadians received a shot in the leg as a gentle reminder to flee from the wrath to come.

[00:14:28]Judge Holden seized the madman in his powerful arms, laid him down, and soothed him as a mother would a fretful child, and Glanton soon sank into a drunken sleep. Next morning, we started for Eldorado, or the mystic city of Cibola. Tradition represented this city as situated in a deep valley surrounded by lofty mountains. It was inhabited by a race of white Indians called Pintos, and there was believed to be an abundance of gold and silver in the place. To find this great city, to sack and plunder it, appeared to the crazed brains of Glanton a matter of easy accomplishment. All believed in the legends, and all swore to follow Glanton to the death. We traveled for several days over a barren desert, destitute of all animal life but the home of the great pitahaya and giant cactus. On the third day, a strange object miles away attracted our notice. It appeared like a tent, but what was a tent pitched in the desert for? We started for it, and after 3 days ride reached a sad scene. A broken wagon, skeletons of cattle and horses, the remains of an American immigrants man on the grounds, while in the wagon were the bodies of a woman, a little girl, and boy, all killed by arrows and scalped.

[00:15:45]Singular to relate, the wagon was not plundered. We searched the baggage to find some clue to the mystery, but the only scrap of writing found was on the flyleaf of a small Mormon Bible, which was as follows: To Alice from her defender Hickman.

[00:16:01]One of our men, Mountain Jim, who had been examining the arrows, said, "This is the work of whites men. No doggone red men carry so many kind of arrows to leave them behind."

[00:16:11]The wagon was fired and the bodies consumed on this strange funeral pyre.

[00:16:16]We continued our weary aimless march, and at the close of the day found water and gammer grass in an arroyo, to the great relief of our suffering animals.

[00:16:25]Next day, after climbing a rugged carrel, Glanton, who was at the head of the column, cried out, "Eldorado, at last, by God!" We all hurried to the front, where a most extraordinary spectacle greeted us. From the other side of an extensive plain rose the houses, towers, domes, and walls of a vast city. What appeared to be fortified walls ran for miles, and lofty battlements stood out in bold relief.

[00:16:51]The city had a strange, weird aspect, as of something unreal and unnatural. We sat in silence gazing on this realization of our hopes, when the mocking laughter of Judge Holden broke the spell. "So, Glanton, this is Eldorado, is it? The city of gold and fair women?

[00:17:09]I wish you the joy of discovery, a city of sandstone built by Dame Nature." It was too true. The grand city in our front, the legendary Cibola of the Spaniards, the city of white Indians of the trapper's tales, was one of those curious freaks of nature common in New Mexico. Strange-shaped columns of sandstone wrought by the action of rain on the hills during ages. Though we were all used to such sandstone formations, yet we had never met with any equal to this. Nature had carved out here a city whose towers and columns would cause the cyclopic ruins of Thebes and Luxor to appear like children's toys in contrast.

[00:17:48]As we neared the silent streets of the place, the beautifully proportioned Moorish domes, the light symmetrical towers became gradually piles of sandstone and marl.

[00:17:58]Looking back, the summit of the hill from which we first espied this Eldorado, appeared crowned with a frowning fortress with plumed warriors on its walls. The illusion was perfect, yet it was only walls of marl with yuccas and cactus growing behind them.

[00:18:13]Judge Holden mounted a rock for a rostrum and gave us a scientific lecture on geology. The scalp hunters, grouped in easy attitudes, listened to the literati with marked attention. The whole formed an assemblage worthy of the pencil of Salvator Rosa. Holden's lecture, no doubt, was very learned, but hardly true, for one statement he made was millions of years had witnessed the operation producing the results around us, which Glanton, with recollections of the Bible teaching his young mind that under God said, was a damned lie.

[00:18:46]Next morning we moved out of the enchanted city, our route being towards the north. Indian signs were plenty today. A column of smoke rose straight in the air from a rock-crowned mesa that we had just passed. It was answered by another and still others away off to the north until over 20 of these signals were in sight. We had come to hunt Indians, but it seemed as if we might be hunted ourselves. No Indian had been seen, but evidently the Apache nation was aroused, for the signals covered hundreds of miles. A ride of 40 miles brought us to gamer grass and water. Our mountain men pronounced the streams the little Colorado.

[00:19:24]During the nights all was quiet. Some of the hunters had good luck to kill a large brown bear, which was very acceptable, for we had had no fresh meat since we left Rabbit Spring.

[00:19:35]All the next day mounted Indians were seen in the distance, but we moved on without being molested. This night after a large march of at least 50 miles, we were compelled to halt in the plane without water. Next day we moved on over the hot arid desert, when about noon we descended into an arroyo hoping to find water.

[00:19:55]No Indians or smoke had been seen that day, but of a sudden a volley of arrows fell among us and the Apache's war whoop sounded on all sides. Though unexpected, the attack found us not unprepared. It was scarce the work of a minute for our entire party to be well covered behind the huge rocks and our animals safely secured in the ravine.

[00:20:15]The only person visible to me was Ben Tobin, who shared [clears throat] with me the huge boulder behind which I crouched. Soon the crack of a rifle succeeded by a wild cry told us that our comrades were on the alert and an Indian hit.

[00:20:30]I incautiously raised up to look to see if I could see an Indian, when three arrows whizzed by my head, one carrying away in my hat with a hole in it more suitable for ventilation than ornamental purpose. The headdress of a warrior was seen behind a clump of yuccas as he reconnoitered the arroyo.

[00:20:48]As if satisfied that he was out of range, he left his covert and came forward to the very edge of the cliff and presented in bold relief against the sky as graceful a warlike figure as ever an ancient Greek warrior did.

[00:21:02]Lying flat down I got his range, when he gave a shrill cry and I let him have it.

[00:21:07]His cry changed into a yell, and springing clear of the rock, he fell a corpse at the foot of the mesa.

[00:21:13]Then yells arose on all sides. Arrows flew in clouds, and a crowd of painted, yelling, and leaping devils closed in on us from all quarters. The next few minutes seemed to hours to me. There was no mistake, I was badly scared, and without knowing what I was about, laid about me like mad, out yelling the Indians themselves. All was confusion.

[00:21:35]Rifles and pistols cracked, and the hoarse shouts of the Rangers gave token that all were engaged. In 5 minutes the horrible melee was over, and all that could of the enemy fled. Glanton and five others were with us in the last rush, and while I expected to get hell for being afraid, to my surprise I received their rough compliments for doing grandly, and found myself quite a hero.

[00:21:59]Five Apaches lay in sight, besides the one at the foot of the hill.

[00:22:04]Glanton pointed at a grove of pecan and cabbage trees some 2 miles further down the bank of the arroyo, and said we must gain that place or all our animals would die of thirst. He gave his orders. The Rangers crawled away to give the details to the rest. Soon one of the pack mules, loosened on purpose, dashed down the ravine towards the grove. This was the signal to go, and the next moment all were in the saddle, and amidst a shower of arrows, and to our astonishment shots from firearms, we charged on the skulking foes in our front, and made for the refuge. When we left our covert, we could realize the extent of our danger.

[00:22:40]Indians on foot swarmed all around, throwing in their arrows like hailstones, and we saw several armed with escopetas. Their ponies were brought up, and now the mounted yelling fiends were on us again. "Ride like devils for the timber!" cried Glanton, and ride we did. I was soon out of the thickest of the conflict, and with nine others gained the grove unharmed.

[00:23:03]Out on the plain, a cloud of dust, shouts, savage yells, and the reports of firearms told how desperate was the situation of our comrades. Our impulse was to go back to their assistance, but our orders were to hold the grove. We sprang off, secured our horses, tied lassos all around our shelter, and secured our pack mules as they came running in, the smell of water being their guide. Glancing made a desperate dash for our position, and with 13 others cut their way through and reached the grove. Holden and Long Webster came in on foot, their horses being killed.

[00:23:38]We had now breathing time to look about us. 14 of our party were missing, and of the 24 presents, seven were wounded, four quite seriously.

[00:23:47]12 of our pack animals were gone, but fortunately our provision and ammunition mules had come in safe. All hands went to work with a will. Doc Irving attended to the wounded. Trees were cut down and formed into barricades. Our suffering animals watered from the spring of excellent water that gushed from under the roots of a gigantic pecan tree, and picketed out to graze on the gammer grass, and taken altogether, our affairs were not so bad after all. The Apaches were having a big talk about a half mile from our position. One old shriveled up buck was making a violent speech, judging from his actions, and soon a cordon of warriors was thrown around our position. Our mountain men and Indian fighters were in high glee, for they said that there was no other water for 70 miles, and in consequence the Indians would soon be compelled to vamos. But they would not go without another trial.

[00:24:39]The mules that they had captured from us were brought into line and fastened together by lariats. Then a crowd of Indians dismounted, and under cover of this moving breastwork advanced on us.

[00:24:50]Glancing ordered us to hold our fire until he gave the word. When they came within 200 yards and arrows struck the trees, He shot down the right flank mule, which which made the left mule wheel around, exposing the storming columns to our rifles. A deadly volley was poured in, and then 12 of us sprang on our horses and charged on them before they could regain their ponies. The result was most glorious. We regained the grove without loss, while 17 Indians lay on the plain, and several warriors had to be helped into the saddle.

[00:25:22]The Apaches had enough. Their sentinels withdrew, and the entire party disappeared among the yuccas and rocks to the south.

[00:25:30]All of our mules were recaptured but two, and we caught several Indian ponies. Though the enemy had retreated, our situation was one of great danger.

[00:25:39]Our band reduced to 24, and only 14 of them fit for duty, hundreds of miles from any settlements, encumbered with our wounded, and liable to be attacked at any moment by fresh bands of hostile Indians. All this was sufficient to daunt the boldest and most experienced Indian trailer.

[00:25:57]John Glanton was a man of prompt action and remorseless in carrying out his decision. He ordered Holden and Irving to examine all the wounded and report all that were unable to ride. He then called us together in a distant part of the grove, where we received the report of the ministers of fate, who gave the names of four who could not travel any further at present.

[00:26:19]Glanton made a short but forcible speech. The drift of it was that mercy and our safety demanded the death of these four, and that the laws of the desert sanctioned it.

[00:26:31]I was horrified and expressed myself freely, but the execution was ordered.

[00:26:36]All were compelled to draw lots to decide what four should commit the murders. 20 Apache arrows were placed in a coyote skin quiver, four of them being marked at the points. Thank God I drew a blank.

[00:26:49]The poor fellows had watched our proceedings with anxious eyes. One was a young Kentuckian, Dick Shelby. Two were Delawares, the other a Sonoran. Sam Tate chose the arrow marked for Shelby. Long Webster that of the Mexican. And a Delaware Indian volunteered to dispatch the two of his tribe.

[00:27:08]They were informed of their fates and the best of care given them during the entire nights.

[00:27:13]All were busy. The worst of the mules were killed and jerked. Their hides made into moccasins, leggings, etc. Bags of mesquite beans were gathered and after a few hours sleep, all that could move were ready to start at early dawn.

[00:27:27]We moved off in silence. The executioners standing beside the victims with Apache war clubs in hands. As we cleared the grove, Glanton fired his pistol when we all heard the dull crushing sound that told us the deed was done.

[00:27:42]All felt sad and guilty.

[00:27:45]So, that's it for this episode from this book by Samuel Chamberlain written in 1861, My Confession, Recollections of a Rogue.

[00:27:53]If you've been following this series, this is episode three. I mentioned that there would only be three episodes in this series, but there is going to be one more. There were many events that happened in this story and there is still more to come. So, I thought it would be better to have four episodes total instead of three. In this episode, we heard about the first meeting between Glanton and Chamberlain where Chamberlain punched Glanton in the face after Glanton grabbed him by the nose.

[00:28:19]We then heard about Glanton's gang attacking Mexicans while dressed as Apaches and then outraging and killing two Mexican women captives and passing off their scalps as Apache scalps. We also heard about the judge probably killing a girl in Fronteras who had an extremely large hand print on her throat.

[00:28:38]Then the gang decided to go into California and they got into a battle with Apaches where many of them were killed or injured. The four who were deemed too injured to go on were executed, apparently by being beaten with Apache war clubs. These events would have a negative effect on the morale of the gang, and in the next episode, we will see how Glanton and his gang continue to descend further into lawlessness and violence. This channel was begun because history like this is often shunned and eschewed by our modern historians. It is often viewed as unworthy of airtime by history channels on TV. So, here on this channel, our mission is to preserve this history of our civilization by reading directly from old books. If you'd like to support our channel's mission, then please become a Patreon or YouTube channel member. Members will receive full access to all of our members-only videos, and your contribution towards keeping actual history alive will be recognized at the end of each episode.

[00:29:35]So, if you want to see more episodes like this, then be sure to like and subscribe, and we'll see you next time on Unworthy History.

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