Shaggy & Fred's Adventures in Space! | Gamers Go to the Movies #21: Wing Commander

[00:00:02]Last camera action. What's popcorn and popping gamers? Welcome to Gamers Go to the Movies. The only show where we have to watch all of the video game movie adaptations made by Hollywood and released in a theater. I'm your host, Noel Slamrocket, and with me is Bob.

[00:00:19]I've seen many of these scenes before.

[00:00:21]Dr. Agro, Barrel Roll, and Chris Wolart.

[00:00:26]>> We're Biff. And remember, wear a helmet and you're always safe. Today we are talking about 1999's Wing Commander, released by Fox and directed by the director of the games.

[00:00:42]Wow. Oh, it stars Shaggy and Fred from the liveaction Scooby-Doo. That's That's too real. Don't say it like that. And they replaced Malcolm McDow with the voice of the lobe from Freakazoid.

[00:00:58]>> They did.

[00:01:00]>> I mean, also Freddy and Shaggy are very explicitly Mark Hamill and Biff's characters from the actual games. Mark Hamill voices his computer. This might in fact be the first and only time we will ever have an adaptation where we can say the game had more star power.

[00:01:19]>> It's true.

[00:01:20]>> Yes. John Ree Davies is in those along with Malcolm McDow and Luke Skywalker.

[00:01:31]And as I keep saying, Biff, that's true.

[00:01:34]That is so much more packed than this was. Good lord. Yeah, this this kind of had a have you have you seen R-rated horror movies recently? Well, we got two guys from those to be in our our all ages space adventure.

[00:01:50]Also, we didn't make a space adventure.

[00:01:54]This movie is a series of events that possibly could have been prevented from being fatal by wearing helmets and being reasonable people.

[00:02:06]This movie is deeply fascinating to get to get people up to speed. Here's what happens with Wing Commander. You know, Wing Commander, uh, it is the original game. It is launched on Origin Systems.

[00:02:17]You know, that's the publisher and stuff. Um, eventually they're bought by uh EA and that's what Origin the the store came from. They used that old I trademark name.

[00:02:27]>> Yeah, I remember at the time everybody was super [ __ ] mad about that.

[00:02:31]>> So, over at Origin Systems, Chris Roberts uh is the director on the original Wing Commander and then he goes off and he does a couple other things.

[00:02:39]basically produces the direct sequel and a couple of side projects dealing with Wing Commander and then he comes back to direct three and four. Those have an absolute shitload of liveaction cutscenes and they went out all out on the budget and got real Hollywood talent for it. But at the end of the day, they're not movies. They are cutcenes in a video game. So the bar is way lower.

[00:03:06]The cinematography in this film is best best summarized as they got the shot and that's it. And and said director Chris Roberts is ontologically evil because he has been working on Star Citizen since 2010.

[00:03:23]>> Yes. Weirdly enough, after this movie, Chris Roberts goes and directs rather produces and executive produces a number of lower budget Hollywood films relatively. And then all of that stops somewhere around 2009.

[00:03:42]I think it's 2009.

[00:03:44]>> Yeah. He had to go become a scam artist, >> right? That is when he starts spinning things up seemingly for the Star Citizen Super Show, which by the way, for anyone who doesn't know, that is that is very nearly 10 years running. Next year, I believe it is, that will be 10 years running, getting constant public funding for this game that will ship eventually.

[00:04:13]This year, however, they're supposed to ship the single player game Squadron 42, which is supposed to have Mark Hamill in it.

[00:04:22]>> Yes.

[00:04:22]>> And John Reese Davies again, if I remember correctly, cuz John Ree Davies is in uh whether it's uh Wing Commander 3 or four, I don't remember, but he's in one of them.

[00:04:33]>> Oh my god. I thought he was dead.

[00:04:35]>> No, I mean I I think Mark Hamill also I think that something came out was like Yeah, he he finished recording like years ago.

[00:04:42]>> Yeah. Yeah. I know they they they filmed the everything in Squadron 42 years ago.

[00:04:46]Um yeah, it's a it's a truly fascinating thing. This movie to brutally summarize it is a collection of other scenes in other movies like perhaps some the submarine is trying to hide from the enemy troops.

[00:05:05]So we park it and we stay real quiet. It is a number of scenes in other movies.

[00:05:11]Perhaps a top gun to perhaps another thing, but it's in space. And in this movie, they fight the killrathy, which are cat people, but we're really trying our best to never show them because the makeup for them did not come together at all. They had prosthetics and the original plan allegedly, and I I stress that because it's Chris Roberts words.

[00:05:31]Uh the funding for this movie was insufficient. The original plan from Fox and Chris Roberts was to go get the alien people who made the, you know, special effects for Alien to make the Killrathy for this, which I will constantly call Kill Rothy because I I played the Super Nintendo one too long before the liveaction cutscenes uh convinced me to say it otherwise. In fact, it could be Kil Rothey even in the PS1 games and I don't remember anymore because I watched the movie and it's like Kill Rathy and I'm like, "Okay, sure." Anyways, so they cut shitloads of scenes that were supposed to be shot and cut shitloads of scenes that were shot and looked terrible in order to do their best to avoid showing the entire enemy troop like the entire enemy faction, the entire foreign nation of the Kilroy for uh I believe they they barely show up because there's a scene at the very beginning, but I think it takes over an hour in this movie for them to feel bold enough to show them again.

[00:06:33]>> I I don't think they show them again until the climax, like almost the end of the movie.

[00:06:38]>> They show them uh when they're Well, I mean, you can consider it a part of the climax. It's not a part of the final thing, but >> Oh, you mean like invading invading the ship? I I maybe they're in there. I thought they were entirely covered by their suits, though.

[00:06:49]>> It's really It's really really [ __ ] rough.

[00:06:54]>> When they showed those Talking Heads versions, I'm like, is this CG? This looks so unbelievably shitty.

[00:07:01]Yeah, when they got the uh it's so funny when they got the when they got the compromised version done, which apparently they hid how production was going, this budget studio, they hid how production was going from Chris Roberts and he kept trying to check in and they would not tell him. And then he finally checks in. It looks so terrible. He's like, "Fox, we need to spend a little bit more money to fix this in post." And then Fox is like, "Uh, we're already making a profit on your film based on the rights we sold for TV and other things. We're not spending a scent more.

[00:07:31]Oh, no.

[00:07:34]Uh, really funny. Here's the important thing though, viewer. You Everything I just said makes it sound like this movie could have been great if it wasn't compromised by budget cuts.

[00:07:47]That's not true. Yeah.

[00:07:51]I think this movie punches about the at about the level of a Sci-Fi Channel original movie. It definitely feels like more in that territory than something you go to a theater to see.

[00:08:07]>> Yeah, I kept going back and forth between that and man, this Disney Channel original is really violent.

[00:08:14]>> Yeah, I so I don't know. So, I had to go and look this up cuz when they finally showed the planes in full view, the space the fighters, >> they look so unbelievably stupid.

[00:08:26]>> Yes.

[00:08:27]>> LIKE I I GET WHAT they're going for.

[00:08:29]Like I get that they're going for like a World War I plane by plane but space, >> but the games in the games the ships don't the fighters don't look anything like that. Uh you want to talk about things in the games that make no sense watching this movie. So the plot of this movie is completely invented as a concept for the movie called uh a race of pilgrim people called the pilgrims.

[00:08:52]And the pilgrims have in their brains the ability to navigate intuitively a high-speed jump that normally you need insanely good computers and other [ __ ] in order to do. And this is just built into their brains because they developed it as a sense when they went into space.

[00:09:08]ALL OF THIS is invented. Jumping in the game is easy.

[00:09:12]But pilgrims weren't right cuz the the I think there's one tiny tie-in hint to the movie involving pilgrims in the games. But it's not like it simply is not a part of the larger history of the game as I know it. Oh yeah. God, this is I'm looking at the references on the Wikipedia page and it's all the movie movies. Boy, if you were a weeb in the 80s or 90s, you had so much good [ __ ] you could just steal from and nobody would ever know.

[00:09:41]>> Yep. Right. It's like these [ __ ] saw Gundam and it's like we'll take that.

[00:09:47]>> Yeah. I was sitting there like are we are we doing new types or are we doing Dune? It's unclear.

[00:09:54]>> It's both.

[00:09:56]>> They forgot to make them autistic though. So they really failed.

[00:10:00]>> They land like new types when you don't make them autistic.

[00:10:03]>> And instead it just kind of winds up in a area of like you made up an excuse so you can have them act racist towards the whitest man ever. Yes, I know. Please, please. Like, this was a big thing. It was so unbelievably weird that period from like 199 1998 to like 2010 where it's like we can make our movie about racism, but it still has to be all white people. Yes.

[00:10:28]Well, of course, because the goal is to edify the uh unclean masses on, you know, white people uh on how it feels to have uh people be racist to them. and they can't understand if they see another person. So, we have to invent a reason to be racist against a white lead.

[00:10:46]>> How could someone hate Freddy Prince Jr.? That's completely irrational. Oh my god, I get it now.

[00:10:56]Uh I looking up some stuff on this. I thought the funniest thing was when Freddy Prince Jr.'s like, "Yeah, I they showed me the script and I absolutely love this film. I signed on. I get there on set to start filming and they go, "Here's the new script." And it [ __ ] sucked.

[00:11:14]>> Oh my god.

[00:11:15]>> Yeah.

[00:11:16]>> Yeah. He's He's He can't watch the movie because of how upset he is about all of this.

[00:11:24]>> It's It's I find this movie its existence fascinating cuz keep in mind this is this is 1999.

[00:11:33]This has about $27 million. It's being made by Fox. It's Rotten Tomato is one point higher than Postal. Our lowest scoring movie so far on Gamers Go to the Movies. Well, other than Tekken.

[00:11:49]>> Yeah, right there.

[00:11:52]>> Tekken has a higher budget than Wing Commander >> if you can kind of tell.

[00:11:56]>> That's pretty embarrassing.

[00:11:58]which you know I guess you know 1999 to what what what is Tekken 2008 let's see 2009 technically the 3 million extra that Tekken gets is kind of lost in the inflation I'm sure but still completely wild uh you may recall at the end of the last episode I said we needed a pallet cleanser and this is that because it's a complete tonal opposite to postal. It is the same runtime, but it is the exact opposite in terms of how it holds itself and its goals. This is a serious war movie.

[00:12:39]Yeah.

[00:12:41]One of the things cut from this film was an entire plotline about some sort of traitor who was working with the killer and selling out information. Uh, they cut this plotline because they couldn't film the scenes with that dude talking to the Krathy because it looked like [ __ ] >> No one could keep a straight face, >> right?

[00:12:58]>> Good. Because scenes like that in movies where one where where it's two alien races having a war is unbelievably stupid. This movie is kind of hard to describe because it's so nothing.

[00:13:11]>> Things do happen.

[00:13:12]>> It's like the LCROY of like a fighter pilot movie.

[00:13:16]>> It is. Yeah. It's like homeopathic Top Gun.

[00:13:20]>> It's It's like somewhere between homeopathic Top Gun and The Hunt for Red October, I presume.

[00:13:26]>> Yeah. I watching it, I actually started saying about Resident Evil Apocalypse.

[00:13:31]This is also just a random collection of scenes from those genres.

[00:13:36]>> Yeah. Like this is the kind of scene this movie has, so I guess we need it.

[00:13:40]>> Yeah. Like there there's a few of those scenes where it it feels like they just put the actors on set, described what rank their characters were, and just let them guess.

[00:13:50]>> Yeah.

[00:13:52]>> So, in one scene in this film, a uh a person Okay. In multiple scenes in this film, people get head injuries that could have been avoided by wearing a helmet while they're in the middle of battle. But in one scene in this movie, an admiral gets a head injury. I believe it's an admiral and is never shown again for the rest of the film. Yeah, I guess he died.

[00:14:13]>> Yeah, I had to scrub back. I'm like, wait, what? Where did he go? Let that bad guy from Air Force One. Bring him back.

[00:14:19]>> So, that's the traitor. He commits suicide instead of getting uh tried.

[00:14:25]That's the cut plot line. He disappears in that scene and it's implied he just bumped his head and died and no one talked about it.

[00:14:33]>> Yeah.

[00:14:34]Oh, I'm so glad they cut that plot line out. That would have been [ __ ] stupid.

[00:14:38]>> Uh, here's the fun thing. They cut that plot line out. They didn't cut the toy.

[00:14:42]There's a toy that says the pilgrim traitor or something.

[00:14:48]And it and it just shows that character.

[00:14:50]It's insane.

[00:14:52]You don't wish this movie was longer, Hagro. You don't sit there and wish there were more scenes that were crudely borrowed from other films with no substance or originality. I want a whole 25 episodes of this horseshit.

[00:15:05]>> I know you're saying that. Uh, someone was saying that on IMDb, unironically.

[00:15:10]>> God, this would probably be a better 25 episode long low-budget like '9s sci-fi show than this movie.

[00:15:18]>> Yeah, this would be better as TV. It looks like TV a lot.

[00:15:21]>> It does.

[00:15:23]>> Watching this movie was kind of a banner moment for me. This, it turns out, is one of those things I saw on TV when I was a kid and never found again.

[00:15:33]>> Oh, this this movie feels like it spawned from the ether to be on CBS at 400 p.m.

[00:15:41]Like it was never in theaters. Nobody remembers filming it. It just appears on local cable. Like how uh how like from like how from uh like 1989 to 1992 70% of all TV was the Beastmaster over and over.

[00:15:57]>> Yeah. No, I I for years thought this was an episode of Battlestar Galactica >> cuz I didn't watch that either.

[00:16:06]>> No, like it both scenes where they're talking about once someone dies you pretend they don't exist. Mhm.

[00:16:12]>> I was flipping back and forth channels and this was playing on the Sci-Fi channel and I saw both of those >> and that idea just stuck with me forever.

[00:16:22]>> I can't believe that was the Wing Commander movie, >> right?

[00:16:27]>> And also that that was Matthew Lillard.

[00:16:30]>> I That's so incredible. I I enjoy Matthew Lillard a lot. I can't at all just between the writing and his delivery of the writing and their inability to show to shoot dramatic emotional scenes well in the least.

[00:16:49]I can't take him seriously for a second in this film. He's he's he's like like I'm sure he's a very nice man, but he comes off like he was grown in a lab to play your white trash friend who carries ruies.

[00:17:12]Like it's he comes off like such a slime ball in this movie, but they didn't really write any reason for that to be the case.

[00:17:22]It's just like natural coming off of him.

[00:17:25]>> Yeah, it was the '9s. It was a different context.

[00:17:29]>> I was so shocked he lived through this movie.

[00:17:32]>> Mhm.

[00:17:32]>> Like he showed up. I'm like, "Oh, you're both fighter pilots. You're the best friend who dies, >> right?" And he they even gave him the dramatic death scene and then he's fine the next like 10 minutes later when they show him again, which was baffling.

[00:17:47]I I have some unfortunate news. Uh that this isn't the last time we're going to see him cuz he's in both Five Nights at Freddy's movies.

[00:17:54]>> YEAH, that's great. Hell yeah. That's Yeah, he made He played a really good Shaggy. I can't I I not going to fault him for this movie.

[00:18:04]>> I mean, dude, he was great in Twin Peaks.

[00:18:07]>> Remember, Bob?

[00:18:09]>> I don't Twin Peaks.

[00:18:11]>> Yeah. I was pointing and laughing at the screen AS I'M LIKE, "THAT'S [ __ ] SHAGGY, BOB." BUT HE'S LIKE, "WHAT?"

[00:18:18]>> SO, you might recall Twin Peaks: The Return, >> they get that guy who's arrested in this entire plot line about him at the very beginning. He's shaved.

[00:18:33]>> We got to watch Twin Peaks again. Mostly so I could get the hello sound to put on my stream sounds.

[00:18:42]>> Yes.

[00:18:44]But yeah, no, I uh I could show Bob a picture. It's not going to help. It's just shaved Matthew L.

[00:18:52]Like I don't think Bob's going to see this and have an awakening and remember him being an important character.

[00:18:57]>> Oh yeah. No, I do remember that.

[00:18:59]>> Okay. Well, that worked.

[00:19:01]>> I don't know why that phrase makes me picture like a new Yankee candle with that label on it.

[00:19:07]Yeah, there there are many plot threads at the beginning of that that season that lead nowhere and are there for no reason. So that was one of them.

[00:19:16]This movie is this movie is an hour and 40 long. Like that's a pretty decent length for a film, but it feels like nothing in this movie gets any time to develop at all. And I don't know where the that the time went other than endless scenes of the admirals like the the commanders staring at things in the cockpit saying nothing.

[00:19:38]Well, we need to go have a lot of dog fights we can't show.

[00:19:42]>> Yeah. Like there's like I think there's like an hour before they get in the [ __ ] planes.

[00:19:48]>> There's like two romances in this movie and neither get developed at all. But like what else was there? There wasn't anything else in the movie.

[00:19:56]>> Yeah, that's the kind of thing that happens at the end of the movie.

[00:19:59]>> I'm just I literally out loud. Why are you kissing?

[00:20:06]They had a heartto-he heart once or twice in the movie. That was enough.

[00:20:10]>> Like, like I get that there's a lot of leeway when you're writing the capital class battle cruiser or whatever in your sci-fi about how that's organized. This movie was written by someone who had once had a military described to them while drunk.

[00:20:27]>> Yep.

[00:20:29]which like I'm sure the games are better and this has the same director. So why why the weird why the weird space planes?

[00:20:39]>> I mean based on everything else I know um or have read rather I'm going to assume this was a lot of studio interference on the script on the budget and everything else. Um Fox is a big fan of doing that especially in the '9s. Now they're not a big fan of anything because they were lobbomized and it absorbed.

[00:20:59]>> Yep.

[00:21:00]>> It's true.

[00:21:03]>> We'll never be able to go back to that time. I just keep picturing these [ __ ] space planes sputtering like P-51s or Mustangs.

[00:21:14]Like I Yeah, I get it. It's a fighter plane. You You didn't need to overlay the stimuli to get me to connect with that idea, my guy. It's the only way I did.

[00:21:25]Oh my god, the the dramatic scene where Roxy has crashed her plane.

[00:21:32]>> Sweet God, you remembered her name.

[00:21:34]>> Rosie.

[00:21:35]>> Yeah, I did.

[00:21:36]>> Rosie.

[00:21:36]>> Okay.

[00:21:40]>> Thank God.

[00:21:43]>> That is like so ruined by every angle of acting. and then like climaxes with them shoving her plane off of the landing strip in the most comical way possible.

[00:21:58]Let me let me just set it up for people who haven't seen it. This is a dramatic scene where uh her ship is disabled in some way, but not completely. So, she tries to make it back with Shaggy in a separate plane following her closely and her her plane's wrecked enough she doesn't land correctly. kind of crashes out on a landing strip that extends massively before the force field.

[00:22:22]Matthew Lillard Shaggy makes it and he lands and we try to film this scene where he emotionally looks at out at out her ship which is crashed out and they keep saying, "Well, we need to get out of here. So, we need her ship to no longer be on that." And I [ __ ] you not, listener, we are not exaggerating. The giant mechanical vehicle equivalent of a janitor dust mopping comes out to shove her vehicle off of the side of the landing strip as Shaggy screams, cries, and runs towards a thing WE CANNOT SHOW BECAUSE IT IS TOO EXPENSIVE TO COMPOSITED POST. SO, WE JUST KEEP JUMP CUTTING between various shots of him running and screaming and crying while three random office workers on the landing strip in a in a in a trash can keep going by as though it's a Hannah Barbara cartoon >> and it's like funny as hell. you you get the setup and and what the emotional weight is supposed to be and and and how heavy these choices are and it it's dark and like Yeah, but the entire situation is ridiculous.

[00:23:34]>> Mhm.

[00:23:35]>> Like you you had like you said the world's slowest push broom to go knock the wreckage off the thing. You could have checked on her. Also, we're running on fumes up here. We're in space, my guy. Chill the [ __ ] out. Speaking of we're in space, the funniest part is because all of this is really [ __ ] funny, but the energy with which it adds to the scene when the dust mop robot vehicle uh shoves her off the edge of this landing strip. And reminder, we're in space and it JUST VIOLENTLY AND ABRUPTLY falls down.

[00:24:12]>> Yes, that's outside the airlocks. That's outside the force field, >> but it's still like >> So it FALLS DOWN. IT'S STILL NEXT to the OTHER PART OF THE structure of the ship.

[00:24:22]So presumably mentally, she's now just wedged down there.

[00:24:28]AND WHY SHE FELL DOWN WITH SUCH speed is confounding, right? Why would you make your artificial gravity do that?

[00:24:40]I don't know.

[00:24:41]>> You just hate pilots.

[00:24:47]It's like, wait, also this vehicle's capable of pushing that. Couldn't you push it in? There's >> We don't have We don't have time to drive around and then turn the thing.

[00:24:59]It's very slow. And those other fighters are running on fumes. The artificial gravity is in such a wide area around the ship that they will definitely crash if they run out of fuel.

[00:25:11]>> I think there might be other larger problems you have made yourself here.

[00:25:17]That is the theme of the movie.

[00:25:18]>> It sure is.

[00:25:21]Um, it truly doesn't matter. But it was really nice to go and find out about this these this major cut plot line, which the I, you know, people are saying it's a subplot. I'm going to say it's the only other spice than other things in this whatever. Anyways, that's not important. Looking up the cut plotline for this movie, the subplot was incredibly helpful because I [ __ ] you not multiple times out loud while watching the movie, Bob and I were confused about things, all of which were caused by them cutting that. There is a scene when the guy who, you know, gets them to come and join on this endeavor and join the larger ship and become part of the crew tells Freddy Prince Jr. that he is a pilgrim and he can do this with his mind and he needs to convince him so he reveals he too is a pilgrim and in this shot where he hands him this thing Freddy Prince Jr's hand is wrapped in bandages and I'm just like when the [ __ ] did that happen what's that about apparently it happened in a cut knife fight in the movie >> that has to do with that subplot and I was JUST LIKE IS EVERYTHING I'M CONFUSED about that is mildly interesting, a part of this cut subplot, and everything else is just mush. Okay, speaking of [ __ ] that truly doesn't matter, that just confounding and funny, they get a leak into space. It is a vacuum ripping people through the air and their suits have no way to properly attach them to any harness. Apparently, they're flight suits, which is in my opinion mildly strange, but not important. So, Shaggy wraps a rope around his body, his abdomen basically, throw like has the rest of the crew hold onto it, and he jumps towards the vacuum to save Fred, to save Freddy Prince Jr.

[00:27:23]Um, and then lifts him back up and he has horrible welts on his body from doing that. And it [ __ ] him up real bad because he jumped down instead of slowly repelling cuz he wanted to save him. and this is cool and all and he starts rescuing Freddy and you just go what are we going to do like they're they're in space they have to have accounted for this how are we going to solve the space leak because they seem to have no system in place to do that listener again I need you to understand I'm not exaggerating for the sake of comedy they throw a WALL ON THE WALL A GIANT chunk of metal they just throw it over where the leak was and the scene is over now. Well, yeah, that's the cheapest thing they could do.

[00:28:06]>> We don't have an epoxy solution. We don't have any like liquid failsafe mechanism.

[00:28:15]We have to throw a wall on the wall is see they should have stolen uh was it Gundam that had like the resin balls that would get deployed and fill in holes?

[00:28:28]>> I've seen that tech in something. I don't know what though.

[00:28:30]>> I've seen it. That's a little too expensive. That's right. Expensive, >> right? They could have had any manner of multiple things that would be interesting to how you repair something like that cuz they have to know that's a problem in space.

[00:28:45]I Another scene I really enjoyed is a scene where they have to board the enemy ship and steal back the AI cuz it's like their navigation computer has been stolen by the enemies.

[00:28:59]>> Mhm. And for some reason the they've sent the fighter pilots inside the ship to do ground combat.

[00:29:06]>> They're Marines.

[00:29:08]>> Even our main guy, even Freddy Prince Jr.

[00:29:11]>> Yeah. No, like like Matthew Lillard called Rosie a marine dur during the big dramatic scene. I think that's the only time that's ever addressed.

[00:29:19]>> It's and they're all they everybody in this movie has the rank of a lieutenant.

[00:29:23]You don't have enlisted guys. Hog go do that.

[00:29:26]>> No. In in any case, it's it comes off as genuinely hilarious is he the main character basically walks through here acting like he's playing Area 51 just gunning down all these aliens with literally no trouble.

[00:29:42]It's so funny because there's a whole fleet there's there's a whole troop of your crew and presumably of the enemies too, but Freddy Prince Jr. just goes off into his own pocket dimension that's the same shitty hallway that they built for the set, but now he gets jump scared by an enemy. And as Bob said, Area 51s his way out. It's like, oh man, this is our first time seeing the aliens. They're going to be scary and big and Oh, he shot them all in the dead already. What?

[00:30:09]>> Yeah.

[00:30:11]>> Yeah. They It's Anyways, Zagro, I can't believe you thought this was like an episode of a low-budget sci-fi TV series. That's crazy.

[00:30:25]Anyway, quite the fascinating film in my opinion, but a terribly boring watch to be honest. I feel like we should get to our segments. Gentlemen, do you have any other things to mention about this movie before we start reviewing it in certain categories?

[00:30:44]Okay.

[00:30:46]Well, before we get to that, let me go ahead and remind you you can support endeavors like this and so much more over at patreon.com/gbodcast, where you get access to gamer premonitions extras, armchair devs extras, and the hit movie Isolation 119, a real movie that you can watch and is actually way better put together in certain ways, especially on a plot level, than this, because there's intrigue and it's not just completely borrowed scenes.

[00:31:12]Anyways, let's get to our categories.

[00:31:15]First category, thumbs up, thumbs down, thumbs sideways.

[00:31:19]What do you think about the movie? Let's start with Bob. Bob, what are you giving it?

[00:31:27]>> You know, I did compare this to Resident Evil Apocalypse earlier.

[00:31:29]>> Uh-huh. But this is actually stealing stuff from genres that aren't made that much anymore, and uh I enjoy more than I ever enjoyed zombie movies.

[00:31:40]So, I did end up finding something to like here, but it is still bad. I still have to give it a thumbs down. Even Even with all the boost that it gets from just not being like normal movies.

[00:31:55]Hey, Chris, what are you what are you giving it?

[00:31:58]>> Thumbs down. This movie fails the building furniture test. I would change the channel. Like, it's just so empty.

[00:32:06]Yeah. I I actually was thinking a lot about Chris's world famous the furniture test for movies while watching this and I agree with Chris. I think this fails completely. I don't I'm a person who would love to leave uh Quantum Leap uh Sliders and any number of other terrible films running because what they would do would be idly fascinating enough to leave them on the television. This doesn't have that because it is just bad versions of scenes you've seen in literally every other military film. It doesn't have a good core thing. It isn't memorable. I think many people could have seen this movie and just completely forgotten it. And I have one friend where that actually did happen, where they saw it in theaters and to this day remember absolutely nothing about it.

[00:32:56]Aggro, thumbs up, thumbs down, thumb sideways.

[00:33:00]Okay. So, everything you said is correct. It It's just that this falls on the other side of the line for me where like like I said, when I watched those scenes before, I was flipping back and forth because there was nothing else good on and I just kept landing on this.

[00:33:17]>> So, I I I think this is like the strongest thumb sideways I can give.

[00:33:22]This movie is real stupid. I don't have any affection for it. It's just like there's people in dumb space suits saying dumb quasi military [ __ ] and that's enough for my brain to flatline too.

[00:33:37]And I'm like, "Hey, look, Matthew Lillard."

[00:33:43]Next category. Is this worse than Tekken Bob? No. Not even close.

[00:33:51]Chris?

[00:33:53]No. Not even. Yeah. Not Not even close.

[00:33:55]was Tekken's way worse.

[00:33:59]>> Aggro stunningly, I think this is more cogent than Tekken was.

[00:34:08]>> Yes, I think this is not worse than Tekken.

[00:34:12]It It fails on a lot of the same categories, but not as hard.

[00:34:18]There's an angle with Tekken where I get to see terrible cosplay and that does more for me. But does that make it better than this? I don't What are you talking about? You also see terrible cosplay of uh W pilot fighters here. No, that's just sloppy costume design. That's nowhere near as amazing as every [ __ ] character in that movie.

[00:34:45]Oh man.

[00:34:49]H because of the [ __ ] plot and other things I have to take into consideration, not just raw brain synapses firing due to things. I am going to have to be honest and say no, it's not worse than Tekken.

[00:35:01]But Tekken is a more interesting movie that I wouldn't change the channel from.

[00:35:06]>> Yes.

[00:35:07]>> Oh, we have to rate the star power of this film on a scale of 1 to five. What do you see the star power at? We'll go and start with Dr. Agro. Hey, Aggro.

[00:35:17]>> Yeah, Chris said it earlier, but we're in a weird situation where it might have to be negative because the games had Mark Hamill and John Ree Davies, and here we come with Freddy Prince [ __ ] Jr., a man who I've never had anything against. I've just never understood the persistence of >> But it's also Matthew Lillard >> and and a whole cast of like, "Oh, hey, it's that guy. Oh, hey, it's that guy."

[00:35:47]>> Yeah.

[00:35:47]>> Oh, hey, it's that guy from that thing.

[00:35:50]>> So, like relative to the games, it's a negative, but we have to use the one to five scale, otherwise the data will be corrupted. What?

[00:35:58]>> Right. What What year did Scream come out?

[00:36:01]>> H man, it would have been really close.

[00:36:03]>> 96. Wow. Wow. So, yeah, this is this is close after.

[00:36:09]>> Wow. Yeah, this >> is >> Freddy Pidge Jr. and Matthew Lillard.

[00:36:12]>> Oh, were they both in Scream?

[00:36:14]>> Oh my god. Matthew I didn't know Matthew Lillard was in Scream, but yeah, he was.

[00:36:18]>> Oh, yeah. Matthew Lillard is like one of the main characters of Scream. But I don't think they should get credit for this movie for one simple reason. That's an R-rated slasher movie and this is like an adventure film.

[00:36:28]>> Yeah, but that doesn't that doesn't matter. It matters like if their star power and presence uh boost the film, which which I think I think that dichotomy explicitly doesn't.

[00:36:39]>> Well, like that because Matthew Lillard was in an R-rated movie, he wouldn't be an audience.

[00:36:44]>> He is best. Yeah, that's my argument.

[00:36:46]>> I mean, I got nothing on that. Um I mean, it's it's still Freddy Prince Jr.

[00:36:51]and Matthew Lillard in in the late 90s.

[00:36:53]>> Yeah.

[00:36:54]>> Which this this came out the same month as The Matrix. It it did, which is really funny. Here's why I know that factoid. I was looking up and people were like, "What are some interesting uses of Bullet Time before The Matrix?"

[00:37:07]And someone listed this film. It came out 2 weeks earlier.

[00:37:10]>> It did.

[00:37:11]>> You're insane >> with like a weird shittier version.

[00:37:16]>> Mhm.

[00:37:16]>> Yeah. Clearly had like half the cameras and lasted for I don't know 3 seconds.

[00:37:22]>> It was It was a freeze frame shot. It was an interesting effect in context, but um >> interesting thing about that before we move on. Um they actually cut most of that shot by the way.

[00:37:32]>> Oh yeah.

[00:37:32]>> Um yeah, they're actually I'm pulling it up now so uh y'all can see it. I already showed Bob this. Here is the full version uh with the deleted cuts and things. You can tell when it's not theatrically released because the image quality takes an absolute [ __ ] the moment it cuts to >> it. Does that in the movie? Oh, no. You see it midshot. Uh, like mid the time slice. Uh, weirdly enough, they filmed a pilot sitting in one of the ships like which is the coolest looking one of these, but it's also kind of weird that he was doing that when they were about to jump.

[00:38:11]Anyway, aggro you were saying.

[00:38:13]>> I think I'm gonna give it a three. Like there's there's people in it. For me, I feel like using the one5 scale, the three would have been if Mike Malcolm McDow was in this, right? That would very solidly put it into the realm of middle of the road celebrity tier.

[00:38:32]Freddy Prince Jr. was big, was persistently pushed, as that said. But I feel like this just barely falls shy of a three in my perception. I'm I'm giving it a two. Uh, Chris.

[00:38:47]>> Yeah, that's also where I'm putting it.

[00:38:48]I'm I'm giving it a two.

[00:38:50]>> I'm not sure if I would like this movie more or less if Malcolm McDow was in it.

[00:38:54]Uh, by the way, he couldn't be in it because of a scheduling conflict, >> which is interesting. I thought he said no cuz it's a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] but apparently they were asking people. No, >> he's Malcolm. That would never stop him.

[00:39:08]>> What are you talking about? That's his whole thing. He'll do anything. It's true. He will. Anyways, what I was going to what I was going to say is apparently they were getting people to sign on with way better version of the script. Y so that has no relevance here.

[00:39:24]Anyways, Bob.

[00:39:26]>> Yeah, this is if I could give this a zero, I would. I don't think anyone from Scream was actually became largely famous other than the main ladies from Scream. Maybe that's just a weird misperception by me. But yeah, no one in this is notable at all.

[00:39:46]But Bob, that's Fred from the Scooby-Doo movie.

[00:39:49]>> That's existed yet.

[00:39:51]>> Oh. Oh, well, you were saying that thing about they didn't go on to do anything, and I'm like, that's >> very bizarre how many movies that Freddy Prince Jr. and uh they're buds Shaggy have been in together. They're apparently really good friends.

[00:40:06]>> That makes sense. Like they're they're in like [ __ ] everything together.

[00:40:10]>> Yeah.

[00:40:12]>> So, what score are you giving it, Bob?

[00:40:14]>> It's a one.

[00:40:15]>> Okay. This is a fun category because we do not have a resident super fan of Wing Commander. We just have me and uh Chris, did you play much Wing Commander?

[00:40:26]>> No, I didn't play any, but I did research how accurate it was for this segment. I've played ENOUGH TO GET [ __ ] PISSED THAT THE KILRAI LOOK LIKE THAT IN THIS FILM. WHAT THE [ __ ] IS WRONG WITH YOU? IT SHOULD BE SO COOL.

[00:40:42]WHAT THE HELL? ALSO, it drove me insane that the whole plot of the film is like we have to do a jump. And I'm like, what? It's not that hard. What are you talking about? What the [ __ ] are you talking about? Agra, have you seen the killy in the game?

[00:40:55]>> I'm looking at him right now. And wow.

[00:40:57]>> Yes. NO, THEY'RE [ __ ] COOL. EVEN THE LIVE ACTION VERSIONS ARE LIKE [ __ ] cool ass beastmen. LIKE the [ __ ] sad shaved cats they feature in this film is terrible.

[00:41:12]Anyway, so yeah, me screaming about that and also that hating the ship design and also hating how this movie has none of the vibes of the original Wing Commander and that that would actually make a much better military film. That's about all you get for fans of Wing Commander on this. Uh, I'm going to go ahead and put this somewhere around 80. It's really high up there. Honestly, it's even cribbing from the same material that Wing Commander does for its tone and things. It just doesn't come off as authentically Wing Commander about it. Like I know that Wing Commander in a number of ways doesn't have a super unique universe, but when you ruin the [ __ ] killathy this hard, it feels like you took one of the things that is an outstandingly unique element of it.

[00:42:04]>> Mhm.

[00:42:04]>> Yeah, [ __ ] it. I'm lowering it to 75 and you ruined it.

[00:42:10]Anyways, go now to Chris. I think 10% is good because it has the killrathy in it and they are indeed felineesque and they have the names of the two main characters of wing commander. Uh but the ships look wrong, the killrathy looks wrong, the pilgrim [ __ ] is entirely made up.

[00:42:33]So yeah, 10 Bob, how could they do this and not have a scene of someone saying, "This guy's pissing me off.

[00:42:41]>> This guy's pissing me off."

[00:42:43]Um, but yeah, I don't know. This is director of the games. It's got to be accurate. It's got to be like a 90%.

[00:42:49]I've never played the game, by the way.

[00:42:50]>> Oh, no. The cannon card aggro. What do you think? Based on everything I have heard and seen here today, and with the knowledge that there is a wing and it has a commander, and they are not even the focus of this story at all, I'm going to give it a 50.

[00:43:21]Oh man. Okay. Um Oh, man. Okay. Next category. Is this a suitable substitute for the game? I I I'm going to say I'm going to say no. Um for the reasons of again, you don't have any of the academy vibes.

[00:43:39]The power structure isn't a very interesting one in this film.

[00:43:46]The scenes you would want of them relaxing and stuff do not land at all in this [ __ ] movie. And again, the kill wrathy look like [ __ ] You're not gonna activate any furries with that garbage.

[00:44:04]Bob, what do you think?

[00:44:06]>> Again, obviously the director did this, so it has to be a substitute. I'm sorry.

[00:44:10]It's a yes.

[00:44:11]>> It's like, what do you mean? This is Wing Commander, >> Chris.

[00:44:18]No, it's completely different.

[00:44:25]And also sucks. It's true.

[00:44:29]Oh man. Uh, Aggro, as much as I love Matthew Lillard and tolerate Freddy Prince Jr., They are not a replacement for Mark Hamill and John Reese Davies. I would go so far as to recommend that instead of watching this whole movie, just watch the opening scene from Lost in Space.

[00:44:50]>> Fair.

[00:44:50]>> You'll get everything you get out of this movie with better effects.

[00:44:54]>> True.

[00:44:55]>> Oh my god. Was that Freddy Fritz Jr.?

[00:44:57]>> No. Okay.

[00:44:59]>> No, that was >> the guy who played Joey on Friends.

[00:45:04]Oh, I kept thinking that Freddy Prince Jr. looked a little bit like Joey from Friends. I mean, they they they did some of the same facial expressions and have the same haircut for a while.

[00:45:14]>> Yeah, I think that's true.

[00:45:15]>> That's why I kept I kept watching this and being like, why is the main character just someone who would star in a like a sitcom, not a movie like this?

[00:45:23]>> You literally said that while we were watching it, and I'm like, I don't know.

[00:45:26]I don't see it. Weird.

[00:45:27]>> No. No, Bob. I'm uh I am now against my will overwriting my memory of this movie, but it's [ __ ] Ted Mosby instead of Freddy Prince Jr.

[00:45:40]Should they have adapted this movie back into a video game? Uh no, this is just a horrible, horrible version of the video game that has no sauce to call its own.

[00:45:52]How dare you even suggest that uh structure of this podcast? Uh Agra, what do you think?

[00:45:58]>> Yeah. No, I like the best I could come up with is just a really really bad seventh gen tie-in game with one level with that's a third person shooter that's even worse than the jankass piloting parts.

[00:46:14]No, I don't think they should do that, >> Chris.

[00:46:19]No, they definitely should not do that.

[00:46:22]Pop. I weirdly was thinking of Warhawk a lot while watching this.

[00:46:29]But yeah, no, they they shouldn't they shouldn't do that. Warhawk deserves a better game, a better story than this.

[00:46:37]And should they turn this into an FMV game? Absolutely not. The scenes are shot like [ __ ] There's nothing exciting. It has no kinetic energy. This would have been one of the worst ever if they did it. Chris, do you agree?

[00:46:50]>> No. I don't even know what it would be.

[00:46:52]There's like two scenes where things happen in this movie, >> right? It would be like press left to be called a slur >> aggro.

[00:47:05]>> 100%. Yes.

[00:47:07]>> No.

[00:47:07]>> You know how much better this movie would be if before each scene there was a brief text crawl to explain to you what was about to happen and why? How much more cohesive and and thoughtful it would feel.

[00:47:22]And then when that guy called you a slur, you could you could hit a button to punch him in the face. It would be like failure. You have to accept institutional racism.

[00:47:30]>> You know, that does seem like what would happen. Uh Bob, what do you think?

[00:47:35]>> Yeah, there's something about the the video quality. Like the entire essence of watching this movie feels like it's made of FMVs of something else.

[00:47:45]>> It's true.

[00:47:46]>> But I don't think it actually would recompile into a decently playing FMV game.

[00:47:53]>> So you're going >> goes no. Okay. Uh, I forgot to mention this so far. The special effects in this are truly awful. Listener, one of the first shots in the movie, they forgot to fully model an asteroid that is in the foreground. And the first thing you see that isn't 2D images and stuff. And so, you just see through the asteroid. They forgot to model the whole thing. So, you can just see where they stopped putting polygons.

[00:48:19]It's the first shot in the film. I'm like, "Oh, that's not good. That's and uh yeah, it really lives up to that for the rest of the film. The CG is some of the worst of the 90s, frankly. Um especially the late 90s. Uh final category, is this normal person friendly.

[00:48:38]Bob, I have to go with no. Like this is this is too boring and badl looking for any normal person to want to see. That is exactly the reasoning I was going to use. It is just too bad of a version.

[00:48:53]You could It It's It's a certain level of quality. Like, you're not going to sit there and [ __ ] out your normie friend when they don't like the worst Italian place you've ever eaten at for being Italian.

[00:49:05]You're going to be like, "Yeah, this place [ __ ] sucks. I tricked you."

[00:49:11]Chris, is it normal person friendly?

[00:49:14]No, it's too like ethereal. It's It's barely here. Aggro, >> I think you are all underestimating the propensity for normal people to get high as [ __ ] on a Tuesday afternoon in front of the Sci-Fi Channel.

[00:49:29]This is absolutely normal personfriendly up to and including the fact that you could watch this movie three times and have no idea the Wing Commander game series existed.

[00:49:39]>> It's true.

[00:49:41]>> Yeah, >> it's true.

[00:49:45]Well, that's going to do it for this episode of Gamers Go to the Movies. I'm really glad we could pallet cleanse after last time with a completely tonal opposite film. But maybe next time we could watch, check this out, a good movie.

[00:49:59]>> Are there any of those left? There has to be something,