MY FFS JOURNEY

追加: 2026-05-10

[00:00:21][ __ ] 52 [ __ ] proud.

[00:00:28]>> Like I thought that >> I got [ __ ] surgery so I kind of don't want to do that.

[00:00:37]>> Let there be light.

[00:00:45]Hey y'all. I'm just making sure that this camera works and I'm trying out the tripod with it. Tonight, my mom and I are going to a hotel. We're in an Airbnb because I'm getting FFS on Monday, but we're going to a hotel that's a walking distance away from the hospital that I'm going to because there's a snowstorm coming.

[00:01:10]We don't want to miss possibly the most major surgery of my life.

[00:01:20]So, we're going to go to the hotel.

[00:01:23]We're going to get some sushi.

[00:01:26]And then tomorrow is officially one day before facial feminization surgery.

[00:01:35]It's about to give flat [ __ ] I mean, it already is giving cut. You already know. But it's going to give [ __ ] here. trust.

[00:01:50]Let me put you on. I'm not drinking at the moment. I'm not drinking goals until May 1st. So, I'm not drinking until May 1st because I do what I put my mind to.

[00:02:03]These phony Negrroni. Get on it. Get on it. It makes you feel like you're drinking a cocktail. I feel like I've just had a day and I'm sipping on a cocktail and I'm relaxing. And when you have a bad [ __ ] personality, you don't need the liquor to make you fun. So phony negrony.

[00:02:22]Only thing phony about me and these. But bye.

[00:02:36]As of right now, we are praying. Got my surgery.

[00:02:42]Stays scheduled as planned for tomorrow.

[00:02:46]Getting anxious about it. I feel like my anxiety has dissipated from the surgery itself and the results because I trust my surgeon.

[00:03:01]I trust the consultations that we have and I trust the source material.

[00:03:08]But I am very anxious about just getting the surgery done tomorrow as planned.

[00:03:16]I don't want anything to be delayed. I'm supposed to be getting a call from the hospital just to confirm everything for tomorrow. So, we will just wait and see if everything's still scheduled.

[00:03:37]Mommy is treating.

[00:03:41]>> Daddy's treating. [laughter] >> Okay, sit down. Let me take a picture of you real quick.

[00:03:49]>> Put that phone down.

[00:03:51]>> You said it, Catherine.

[00:03:52]>> No, this better be. Oh, >> I will.

[00:03:56]>> Stop.

[00:04:02]So, we're leaving the hotel. Um because I don't know why this is happening.

[00:04:10]Why is the lighting like this? Um well, I look like this cuz I've been sobbing because my surgery was cancelled. So, Momsy and I are leaving and we're headed back to the Airbnb because we don't want to get stuck this hotel.

[00:04:32]And hopefully I can call tomorrow and get my surgery rescheduled for this week.

[00:04:40]And hopefully it's on Wednesday.

[00:04:43]Um, this is disappointing, but it's out of everyone's control.

[00:04:50]Milo's Regency. Mom, come get in the mirror.

[00:04:55]>> I Regency. It was cute.

[00:04:58]>> Here it is. Come on.

[00:04:59]>> [ __ ] snowstorm. Am I right?

[00:05:02]>> Okay.

[00:05:10]>> Hey y'all. Hi.

[00:05:12]>> It's been a second since I updated because it's been um a tumultuous couple of days.

[00:05:20]Beautiful spent with my mom, but my surgery got cancelled on Monday as I've told you guys. And that I took it kind of hard, crashed out a little bit. Had a um a bit of a meltdown that will not be televised, will not be shown to the general public.

[00:05:39]>> I didn't record it. But alas, we are looking at everything through a positive lens. Um, I meant to get surgery when I meant to get surgery. And that should be this upcoming Monday. We are awaiting confirmation. Um, beautiful, beautiful Fior from Northwell Health will let us know. And this mug will be done within the next week. Trust and believe. And that just means more time being coherent and not swollen with my beautiful mommy.

[00:06:13]And tonight I'm gonna take her to one of my favorite restaurants, Ayat. And I'll take youall along for the ride. Give it over.

[00:06:23]You are everything. I love you. Look at this.

[00:06:31]Incredible. This is the lamb ui royale.

[00:06:35]This is the pizza warma.

[00:06:38]This is the mez fiti.

[00:06:42]Pardon my pronunciation.

[00:06:44]The waffle and my plate.

[00:06:49]Trust.

[00:06:51]It's everything.

[00:06:53]Thank god. Good morning beautiful people.

[00:06:57]So, I am officially confirmed to get my FFS surgery on this coming Monday. So, it was supposed to be 2 days ago, this past Monday, but luckily it is rescheduled with this coming Monday.

[00:07:16]I was extremely disappointed. I felt very helpless. Now that it is rescheduled, it is confirmed. I feel so much better. And also, I think having this extra time with my mom, being coherent and not in pain is just absolutely irreplaceable.

[00:07:36]Yeah. I want to have surgery on a day when my surgeon and his team are feeling great. They're not upset because they have to come in on a snow day. There's no risk for the power to go out while my face is being sawed open. Um, I just want the absolute best environment with the absolute best energy and that's what I'm going to get. So, I am grateful that it was able to be rescheduled soon. I'm so excited for this next chapter of my life.

[00:08:14]I'm excited. I'm very, very excited.

[00:08:18]Very, very excited. And I just wanted to update the claws.

[00:08:29]Like I'm already so [ __ ] Imagine baddies.

[00:08:44]I am officially at the hospital facially getting my facial feminization surgery. I'm about to change into my gown and then I have my pre-operative appointment with my surgeon and my mom will come back here and then it's into the O.

[00:09:06]>> So excited I chose this. This is for my alignment.

[00:09:11]We are refining a masterpiece. It's not going to be the craziest difference.

[00:09:16]We're already We're already had a dental surgery.

[00:09:19]>> It's going to be refined.

[00:09:21]>> Refined kind.

[00:09:22]>> No other surgery.

[00:09:23]>> I'm so ready.

[00:09:24]>> Okay. And it says you never smoke or drink.

[00:09:27]>> I did smoke.

[00:09:29]>> You're a former smoker.

[00:09:31]>> Okay. Uh, going to give you some more time.

[00:09:44]>> Hey, [groaning] can't really talk because of this, but surgery's done.

[00:09:58]is so swollen. This is like actually insane.

[00:10:10]I got the dragon.

[00:10:13]I got my lobby.

[00:10:18]I'm excited to go home and watch the [ __ ] Okay, guys.

[00:10:38]Thank you. You're welcome.

[00:10:40]>> All right.

[00:10:44]>> I can't really talk that well.

[00:10:48]>> But this is the next morning.

[00:10:51]>> My eyes opening up a little. I don't look that crazy, honestly. I feel like my brows look higher.

[00:11:01]>> My lips are obviously huge.

[00:11:05]>> I'm excited to see what Dr. has to say.

[00:11:16]>> Oh my god, I feel so numb. It's crazy.

[00:11:21]I can't even suck my cheeks in.

[00:11:37]>> Sorry.

[00:11:38]>> Oh my god.

[00:11:40]>> Is it meant to look like this?

[00:11:42]>> That's your dream.

[00:11:43]>> That's your dream. Which is going to come out in a second. It will look very different [laughter] >> in 60 seconds.

[00:11:52]I feel like a worm coming out.

[00:11:55]>> Oops. Okay. A little bit of pressure.

[00:11:58]Okay.

[00:12:16]>> All right.

[00:12:17]>> Oh.

[00:12:19]That was crazy.

[00:12:23]>> Not for long though. Just let this one down. And this is all going to settle.

[00:12:27]This is just for that drain. Okay.

[00:12:31]>> Now, what do we do to the hole?

[00:12:33]>> It's going to close on its own. Just if there's any fluid leaking, you just put it >> or brain chunks or anything.

[00:12:41]>> All right. You look great. [gasps] >> Thank you.

[00:12:44]>> Have a nice easy recovery.

[00:12:45]>> Thank you so much.

[00:12:46]>> Thank you. Yeah. Thanks.

[00:12:50]>> Okay, take a look. Give me a look.

[00:12:57]>> This is so stupid.

[00:13:07]Just don't fit nicely. I hate this. It would be so much more comfortable without this.

[00:13:20]They need to create a face mask with no upper lips.

[00:13:28]Goodness.

[00:13:33]My hair kind of looks like um brother Hadid at the one.

[00:13:39]Do y'all get the reference?

[00:13:42]I think it was 2019, 2021.

[00:13:47]Definitely 2021 or 2023.

[00:13:52]Yaka division.

[00:13:54]This eye is so swollen.

[00:13:57]>> Okay, here's your broth.

[00:13:59]>> I want [screaming] Yes, we got the bone bro.

[00:14:06]Oh, low sodium.

[00:14:13]Day one, [ __ ] What is this? Should I take these?

[00:14:20]>> Yes, if you can't water their Tylenol.

[00:14:22]>> Well, shouldn't I be getting Oxy soon?

[00:14:25]>> In an hour. That'll help get you there.

[00:14:28]>> Okay. It's not going to be too much taking this now and then oxy then, right?

[00:14:32]>> No, because there's no Tylenol in the oxy. Okay. Yep.

[00:14:36]>> Whatever that means.

[00:14:58]Now you can feel it.

[00:15:05]>> The best.

[00:15:06]>> Hey y'all. We're about to wash my hair.

[00:15:12]I'm really really nervous because it looks like they snipped some [ __ ] I'm just nervous y'all.

[00:15:21]I'm scared. How bad is it going to sting?

[00:15:24]>> Suck. It's going to be horrible.

[00:15:28]>> We've got We've got Catherine here. I don't know if we we haven't even introduced you yet. You guys might be thinking, who who is this hairy little boy? [laughter] [laughter] Don't be alarmed. It's just my sister.

[00:15:50]>> Okay. Um, you're nervy.

[00:16:03]>> Be careful.

[00:16:03]>> I am.

[00:16:06]>> Those dishes are up here, right?

[00:16:08]>> Yeah. You'll feel the staples here.

[00:16:19]A lot of it is just >> maybe [music] Oh, [music] wait.

[00:16:48]Thank you so [music] [singing] you can still probably barely understand me. Oh no, it's a bit better now.

[00:17:14]Don't try and blow your nose after you get surgery cuz it feels like a balloon will come out here.

[00:17:25]Like I tried to blow my nose and it felt like something like inflated right here.

[00:17:31]Oh yo, that freaked me the [ __ ] out.

[00:17:35]Oh, it keeps telling me to stop looking at myself, but it's like hello.

[00:17:41]Like I just got my face done. I really hope that this ends up more like this.

[00:17:48]But worst comes to worse, I'll just get Botox. I I always get Botox there anyways. It's a little tail lift.

[00:17:57]But like that's I got [ __ ] surgery, so I kind of don't want to do that.

[00:18:02]But it's totally fine. Do I look more cisgender?

[00:18:06]>> Yes.

[00:18:08]Cisgender woman who got her ass beat.

[00:18:13]gender women are better [ __ ] wrong.

[00:18:19]>> Y'all don't get to see that. I don't know. I don't want to share this with y'all. I don't.

[00:18:28]Thank god I didn't get a nose job. I feel like my nose looks really cute.

[00:18:33]>> It does.

[00:18:37]That's all messes.

[00:18:42]Got it.

[00:18:45]>> Not her ear. I'm just teasing.

[00:18:48][laughter] >> Sorry, guys.

[00:18:52]>> That was crazy. [snorts] >> It's been a while since she's had bedside nursing.

[00:18:57]>> Oh my god.

[00:18:59]>> Here.

[00:19:02]>> Good. There.

[00:19:06]>> Honey.

[00:19:08]My mom and I got in a huge fight because she kept on telling me that I [snorts] should get a medium.

[00:19:16]And then she says to my sister that she should get an extra small. Like [laughter] [ __ ] make me upset. [crying] Like are you [ __ ] stupid?

[00:19:26]Like of course it's going [crying] to make me upset. [laughter] I literally took my [ __ ] face to compared myself to this [ __ ] 52 [ __ ] 100 down [ __ ] pound [ __ ] [laughter] my entire [ __ ] life. You want to tell me that you're actually going to medium extra [ __ ] small.

[00:19:47][snorts] I know this is so stupid, [gasps and laughter] but you're like you would be upset too. You would be that too get a [ __ ] medium and then Captain extra small. I got [ __ ] abs.

[00:20:04]This is [laughter] so stupid.

[00:20:11]Hey y'all. Today is day five posttop.

[00:20:18]I'm just really emotional today. And it's not for the reason you might be thinking. I feel like a lot of people this time are like, I look insane. And I do look really insane. And of course, there's some anxiety with that.

[00:20:34]Like my [ __ ] lips look crazy. And when I take this off, it's so huge.

[00:20:39][gasps] But I know that that's not permanent. And that's not why I'm emotional. I think I just want to keep this really like [gasps] open and honest. I just started thinking about how I really want through this experience to like [snorts] kind of [clears throat] release how much I hold on to the way that I look.

[00:20:59]I just really want to be [clears throat] as proud of like who I am. I take a lot of pride in my looks. Everyone [ __ ] knows that. But I also like do take a lot of pride in who I am as a person and my soul and my moral compass and my brain and how I view the world and how I view people.

[00:21:26]The tears kind of are just coming from a place of a little bit of insecurity in that realm because I've gotten I've gotten the surgery. I know, but [clears throat] it's going to sound so crazy and so like now I know I'm going to look so [ __ ] good, you know? That's not a worry for me. I see the vision. I see what's to come.

[00:21:52]So, I guess like it just kind of revealed a little moment for me where when it's all said and done, you know, of course I want this face. I want to be an actress. I want to be the first trans woman to win an Oscar, but that comes from so much more than just my face.

[00:22:14]And more than that, I want to be someone who's like loved fully and has allowed love to lead her in her life and to be someone of change, of real change in this world. someone that promotes it and stands for it. [gasps] This is intense.

[00:22:38][snorts] I just want to leave this experience more in love with myself. That sounds so I want to know myself better, I guess.

[00:22:54]Not I guess for sure. I want to know myself better and I want to be completely confident and affirmed in who I am beyond how I look.

[00:23:08]I don't want to make some cool [ __ ] I don't want to put myself out there in the world because I've just been cooking. I've just been cooking. I've been blossoming. I've been harvesting.

[00:23:19]And I feel like propel myself into this world and make that space where I can be that agent of change because I'm that [ __ ] I'm looking forward [clears throat] to figuring it all out [snorts] and I think maybe sharing some of this could be helpful. This was really [ __ ] deep. So I honestly don't know, girl. This was pretty intense. And I'm not even going to lie, I took an oxy about 15 minutes ago when my mom gave it to me. I'm not like popping that [ __ ] I have [clears throat] done part 30. I'm from Florida. But but yeah, I guess I just wanted to talk to y'all.

[00:24:12]Feel very raw and vulnerable right now.

[00:24:19]Not particularly in love with the feeling.

[00:24:30]Romania.

[00:24:34]>> Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I was going to ask you guys to do it again, but at the same time These are my favorite people in the entire world. My favorite women in the entire world. Jeez, this one's leaving.

[00:24:52]>> I know. I have to go.

[00:24:54]>> Get Get in frame.

[00:24:57][laughter] >> That's not making it to the final cut.

[00:25:01]>> Oh, don't get laid on my face.

[00:25:03]>> Yeah, it's No, it's not related to Haruharu Wonder.

[00:25:06]>> Okay, >> I'm going to cry later, but I can't process it right now.

[00:25:15]I want to see you in a month.

[00:25:16]>> I know.

[00:25:18]>> I want to see her in a month.

[00:25:19]>> Take another video.

[00:25:21]>> One week followup.

[00:25:24]It's technically day nine posttop, but it's my first followup since surgery.

[00:25:32]We'll see what they say. I'm hoping to get these stitches on the side of my mouth cut.

[00:25:49]Did that one just fall out?

[00:25:51]>> Yeah, likely.

[00:25:53]>> Right.

[00:25:55]I've graduated from liquids only to soft foods.

[00:26:00]And I'm about to dig in this [ __ ] Let every known dig in me. Let there be light.

[00:26:09]Hey y'all. Today is day 11 posttop from FFS FFS. I've honestly been big chilling and just working on some things that you'll have to wait and see. Okay, that's not like me being a gross [ __ ] I also want to put that out there. If you see white [ __ ] in my mouth, I'm not like foaming out the mouth. I swear. I swear my lips are huge and they're so chapped that I've been putting nipple cream on them, but like layering the nipple cream so it just builds up. Not too much on me. Please, please, please, please, please. Anyways.

[00:27:04]Oh.

[00:27:08]Oh, we're getting somewhere. Okay. [ __ ] Hey everyone. Doing a shoot today with my good diva Sophia Wilson. She's an incredible photographer. I'm so excited.

[00:27:23]The mug is mugging though. Here I am with my mom. It's her last day.

[00:27:36]My beautiful mom.

[00:27:39]>> The camera's going to die in my charger.

[00:27:40]I can't find it. I'm so grateful.

[00:27:43]>> So grateful to have been here share this time with you.

[00:27:46]>> It has been absolutely irreplaceable. I love you so much. Love you too.

[00:27:53]H >> here [snorts] with my diva, my bestie sister forever.

[00:27:59]>> The mug is cooking as we speak. It's babe, it looks so much better even than yesterday.

[00:28:04]>> It's loading.

[00:28:05]>> Like honestly, and she's so good, which is crazy. Like you would think that she would stink, but [laughter] she don't One thing about my sister go, she don't stink ever.

[00:28:13]>> She never ever smells. She never.

[00:28:15]>> How are you feeling today, Queen?

[00:28:16]>> I'm feeling very very good. I'm feeling better. I'm feeling still definitely swollen. And I can't really feel my bottom lip or my chin.

[00:28:25]>> Can you feel Wait, close your eyes.

[00:28:27]>> Mhm.

[00:28:27]>> Can you feel if I touch it?

[00:28:30]>> Like my bottom lip. Yeah, I felt that.

[00:28:32][laughter] Like I felt that. Yeah, but it's like a numb feeling. Like icy hot, you know?

[00:28:37]>> Yeah. I know the vibe.

[00:28:38]>> No. Yeah. So, it's this jaw bra is staying >> on. She's going to twig tonight. I'm going to twig tonight. I need >> This is perfect.

[00:28:46]>> Exactly. I need to make a look around this. It's my first time seeing the mug in person and it's better than you guys could even imagine. My first >> It looks insane.

[00:28:55]>> You heard it here first. You heard it here first. I love you.

[00:29:02][screaming] >> You sexual >> body high after glow.

[00:29:13]Hey divas. This is day day 28.

[00:29:20]I'm a genius. Um, I wanted to show you guys what I'm looking like right now with no jaw bra. We're still very, very swollen. I knew going into this that I was not going to look like the final result for a long time. Typically 3 to four months is when you start to really see the jaw work because the healing just takes much longer because it's invasive. You're shaving bone. I got muscle shaved. I'm still regaining the feeling and the movement in my chin and my lower lip and the feeling and the movement in my forehead, too. I mean, not that much movement because I do have Botox, but I got it in January, so we got some back.

[00:30:09]Also, I'm not trying to like lay my edges. I swear this is like some [ __ ] broken hair that's just growing this way and moves this way. Every time I try to move her this way, she doesn't want to cooperate. So, I had my 3we posttop appointment last Wednesday and I expressed the following concerns.

[00:30:30]Obviously, I'm living for this. I know that this is going to be more sunken in because I naturally give that honey, you know, so not worried about that. Loving where the brows are sitting once I laminate it's over.

[00:30:50]like you see flat and separating but there's still so much swelling and I just feel so droopy here and I feel like it looks like I am a strong strong believer in the power of the tongue and speaking things into existence. So I was very hesitant but I've been reassured that this is just the swelling. This is not permanent, but so much swelling. And a main concern is when I look up.

[00:31:24]This is not the tea. I met with the surgical assistant twice now. Um, and the first week I could already feel this little indentation in my jaw on both sides, but particularly this side. It's much softer now. But as you can see, you can still kind of see it. She gave it to me straight and let me know that I'm always going to feel this. I'll always feel that bump, but I should not see it once all the swelling's down.

[00:31:54]It's being exacerbated right now because of the swelling. And I think it's what is going to create that jaw. I know it's going to be major. I feel beautiful. I do feel beautiful today. It's just this past month has been a journey. There are days like today where I honestly I feel beautiful. I had a lisp for a moment and no shade to a lisp, live your truth, but it didn't feel authentic to me because it wasn't. We were working on speaking again. It was the day after my second consultation. Literally the swelling went down and you could see this dimple and I was like, "What the [ __ ] I've been botched. Oh my god. I had a little spiral moment and I just did not want to be on camera. I had that jaw bra on. Oh, I plan on keeping the jaw bra on damn near 24/7 until a month posttop. And then if I'm feeling it, I'll start going out without it and just keep it on at night. I plan on sleeping in that [ __ ] for a long time.

[00:33:05]>> [clears throat] >> Trust to all the girlies who want FFS or have thought about getting FFS, just know that this is a journey, [sighs] but very, very self-reflective. It's been beautiful. It's been very cathartic. It's reignited the fire in who I want to be and what I'm going to do in this life. I'm that [ __ ] cuz I [ __ ] said so.

[00:33:43]So gorgeous.

[00:33:45]Such a beautiful day. I'm so grateful.

[00:33:53]Thank you, Jack, for the Canon G7X for a highly discounted price.

[00:33:58]>> Hey, >> we're in the park.

[00:34:00]>> Look at us. Light colors, dark hair, sunny day.

[00:34:05]>> This is what the mug is giving in sunlight. On a day like this, a [ __ ] wants to drink, but instead >> a coco, >> we're having a little aua cocoa and a Shirley Temple 7 up.

[00:34:19]So mucky out here.

[00:34:23]Still like swollen here.

[00:34:26]But let's bring this back.

[00:34:43]I [laughter] love you so much.

[00:34:45]>> Look who's back.

[00:34:50]Back. Back. Back. Back. Back again.

[00:34:53]We're back together.

[00:34:57]And everything. It's one of the swollen days today.

[00:35:02][music] >> We're on the way to a barbecue.

[00:35:07]>> Say hello ladies.

[00:35:08]>> Hola.

[00:35:11][music] >> And this is what the mug is giving. Day 66 post FFS.

[00:35:20][music] Don't count on me. Who knows [music] what's on your mind. You know I'm out.

[00:35:30][clears throat] I see you looking at me.

[00:35:32]Stop wasting time.

[00:35:41]>> Hey divas. I wanted to give you guys an update on my mug and also film something to end this journey that we've gone on together. This is either the last clip or one of the last clips to my facial feminization vlog. Today is May 4th, 2026. So, it has officially been 63 days since my FFS.

[00:36:04]Since I feel like whenever I get in front of this camera, I start talking weird, but maybe it's just because I'm looking at myself.

[00:36:15]videos and vlogs like these helped me so much in preparation for my FFS. So, if you're a doll and you're considering FFS, hopefully this video has given you a better idea of what to expect. If you are not considering FFS, then hopefully you had fun along the way, learned a little bit more about me. Um, yeah.

[00:36:44]I literally can't stop staring at myself.

[00:36:48][screaming] Like, I can't believe I [ __ ] look like this. I'm actually so gagged. I'm so so gagged.

[00:37:13]Right.

[00:37:15]Right. I want to give the absolute biggest shout out to my mom and my sister. I would not have been able to do this without them. Hands down, without a doubt. The only reason I was able to get through facial feminization surgery is because I had my mom and my sister by my side. They are the most incredible women that I know. Oh, I'm not [ __ ] up this glam, but they are the most incredible women that I know. I am so unbelievably grateful for them. Being able to go through this journey with them and have their love and support is absolutely irreplaceable.

[00:38:00]I'm going to wrap it up because I really don't want to cry. Um, and ruin this glam. The [ __ ] But mom, Catherine, I [ __ ] love you guys so so much. And we look so much alike [screaming] now.

[00:38:14]Like, I'm giving my sister boos. The time that I was able to share with you guys is something that I will cherish absolutely forever. Okay.

[00:38:25]>> [snorts] >> I had my six week follow-up with my surgeon, Dr. Nicholas Bastidas. I got that two weeks ago or something. He reassured me that I'm healing beautifully. I already knew. Um, and we discussed possible tweaks that we can do in the future, non-surgically, more with Botox and different things like that, just because why not?

[00:38:55]The end of this is literally just going to be me staring at myself. But that's how you know I'm very [ __ ] happy with the results, [ __ ] Like, hello. If you've watched this all the way to the end, then thank you so much for coming on this journey with me. I really, really appreciate it. Vlogs and videos like this helped me so so so much in preparation for my FFS. So, if you're a doll and you're considering facial feminization surgery, then hopefully you have a better idea of what to expect after watching this video. It is not an easy journey. And there will be moments along the way where you think, "Holy [ __ ] what did I do to my face?" Or, "Oh my god, this [ __ ] botched me." Or, "What the [ __ ] I was so much prettier before?" Or, "Holy [ __ ] my face is huge."

[00:39:50]Take a breath. Everything will be okay.

[00:39:54]Trust the process. You just went through an intense invasive ass surgery. Okay?

[00:40:01]If you've gotten done what I got done, then you've gotten bone shaved, muscle shaved, fat taken, fat injected, fascia taken from the scalp, put into the lips. Half of your face was off of your skull and then your skull was shaved down.

[00:40:19]And then same with my chin, like there's going to be a moment through your recovery where you are not pleased with the results or you think that you're not pleased with the results, but they're not the final results. You absolutely must have patience throughout this process. I trusted my surgeon. I trusted my surgeon with all of my heart. That first month and a half, I was scared, y'all. A lot of people were. I looked interesting. It was giving very asymmetrical, very, very asymmetrical, very swollen, jowlly. It was giving jowlly for a sec and I was [ __ ] petrified. But look at us now.

[00:40:59]Trust the process. You're going to look stunn. Don't start judging your results before you're fully healed. You're just going to make yourself go crazy. Have a support system ready. You're going to need a lot of postsurgery care and a lot of postsurgery reassurance and affirmation. You're going to need it.

[00:41:21]This is not a routine boob job, honey.

[00:41:23]This is not a quick Botox. This is not a quick laser. This is invasive, serious surgery. So, make sure that you are prepared for afterwards. You have a support system. You have people that are there to take care of you and take care of your mind. Make sure that you're ready to show up for yourself and take a [ __ ] breath, girl.

[00:41:50]With all of that being said, thank you so so so much for watching and as always, an abundance of love.