Learning how to listen to physical manifestations of stress | E76 | WTF is AuDHD? Podcast

[00:00:04]Hello and [music] welcome back to another episode of Dubt's ADHD with late diagnosed sisters Ellie and Paige. We were diagnosed late >> and we're here to educate.

[00:00:11]>> And on today's episode, we want to talk all about um our experiences with stress as a concept and kind of the relationship between the mind and body or the lack of relationship between the mind and body if you haven't quite connected them. And obviously we're not experts on this, but as I've got older and I've lived my life, I've really started noticing that.

[00:00:32]>> Sorry.

[00:00:40]>> I don't know the words. I don't know the words. Um any road. Um we want to talk about across my life and as I'm getting older and being more aware of my body and being diagnosed, I'm noticing that often my body is telling me that I'm stressed before my mind does. My body's gone. Sorry.

[00:00:56]>> Paige [laughter] is really ADHD today.

[00:00:59]She's very like I love it. She's very distracted. She's putting up a real that she bloody >> I think it's hilarious.

[00:01:03]>> Yeah, it is pretty funny. Um, so she's over there posting a real as we speak.

[00:01:07]So I'm just want to intro the episode here.

[00:01:09]>> I'm so listening though.

[00:01:10]>> Yeah, but you keep budding in with bloody song lyrics. Okay. [laughter] So I want to talk about the body the body and the bind. the body and the mind and how they relate and how I've like noticed that often my body is telling me stuff before I consciously realize it.

[00:01:23]And I'm trying to get better at recognizing it so I don't end up in burnout because I've just had recently uh a few months of hard yaker as I've kind of mentioned, but my body really shed itself and I think I should have listened to my body a lot earlier and I just want to share my experience because why are you laughing? Why are you laughing?

[00:01:40]Sorry. [laughter] No, it just my brain just flashed back to to this video. [laughter] >> Oh, okay. If if you want to go look on our Tik Tok and Instagram page posted this video of this trend that apparently everyone's doing where you where you play this really annoying annoying sound and song, get someone's reaction if you want to go look at it. She's just posting that at the moment, but >> it's probably not as funny as I think it is, but it's like a trend. So, like people have been doing it and >> Yeah.

[00:02:07]>> Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, this episode's about stress and the body and mind relationship from our perspective.

[00:02:11]Obviously, we're not medical experts, but we just want to talk about it because you might relate to some of it and it might pardon me. It might help you. Um, sorry, >> so nonchalant [laughter] just >> pardon like brush over it.

[00:02:27]>> Yeah, sorry about that. Um, and then we we also want to go through some of your responses. We also want to go through some of >> we also want to go through some of your responses on the hill you'll die on because we did ask the question on our Instagram and we're going to go through some of those. But before we get into that and the whole bulk of the episode page, you just want to acknowledge um your big rant you went on last week.

[00:02:47]>> Yeah. Sorry. I do admit after we stopped recording I was like it was a bit passionate. It was a bit intense. And which are you talking about? Um I was talking about how if you're like desperate for a relationship then you're not ready for one.

[00:02:59]>> Yeah. That's speaking from experience is that I knew I wasn't ready because I desperately wanted one. Now I don't desperately want one and I'm so content with myself and have my own fulfilled life that I'm like, "Oh, I am ready for it."

[00:03:11]>> That's from my perspective. But >> um I do admit and I was kind of nervous that it did sound a bit intense and not everyone's going to have that same belief and that's that's what that's so fine and that's um what opinions are.

[00:03:25]And uh I'm just sorry if I did confuse anyone or offend anyone. Um we did get a lovely person who posted in the Reddit and I appreciate their perspective as well. Um because it's not a black and white situation ever.

[00:03:40]>> Everyone's got their own own pasts, own experiences, own trauma.

[00:03:46]There's so much involved. Um, I think I'm more also just meant from a a the angle of making sure you've got a fulfilling life before >> um like not using a relationship to fill that void or to complete you. I do think that relationships should come from adding to each other's life.

[00:04:08]>> Yeah.

[00:04:08]>> Yeah.

[00:04:09]>> Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a good way to put it. And I think the person who posted our Reddit, thank you for posting that. We're always welcome to um hearing feedback and other opinions. And I actually really appreciate that you you came in and said that. And they were very sweet at the end. They said, "I do love this podcast. I just wanted to share my views." And honestly, thank you. Like, it's awesome. We need more voices. That's what I like about our Reddit is that we I think, look, autistic people are just like this.

[00:04:32]We're great at explaining things in depth from our perspective. And then we're also great at acknowledging the other person's perspective and realizing that there's always more than one perspective. I do. I think in this Reddit, we're all very good >> at just like respecting each other's >> thoughts and experiences.

[00:04:49]>> Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what we wanted this Reddit to be. Um, so thank you for that. And yeah, just know Paige wasn't necessarily saying you shouldn't get a relationship at all if you're not healed, but she was more Yeah, it's more about the if you're not fully healed yourself and there's there's a slight emptiness in your life and you're seeking out a partnership potentially fix those things. Yeah, potentially there's a there's a world where maybe healing slightly more before you bring someone in is is a smart idea. But you're right, this person did say like you can get into relationships and you can grow with others and I agree with that too. Um like I definitely think I've grown in some ways with Sam. Sam's definitely grown in ways with me. Um >> there's definitely growth that you can't do single.

[00:05:26]>> Yeah, 100%. Um so thank you for that opinion. Um and we really really appreciate it.

[00:05:30]>> But again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I I was a bit anxious after it was a bit intense and I feel like people might have misinterpreted what I meant.

[00:05:36]Anyway, >> yeah, that's all right. That's all right. Um, thank you for that. Now, on to uh we did post our Instagram last week and we wanted to know what hills you would die on after obviously Paige's one about relationships and my one about fragrant sprays uh in the toilet. Uh, and there's a few good ones here. I just want to read some out. Jess says, "Having kids isn't for everyone. It's okay to just live your life and not plan to have children." Amen, Jess.

[00:06:01]>> Wait, say again.

[00:06:02]>> Having kids isn't for everyone. It's okay to have a life without children.

[00:06:05]Ah, amen, sister. Amen. I agree. And I think the especially the pressures on women, um, even with this sort of latest administration in America, it's becoming again almost more like they're pressuring women to have babies more again. And it's just it it doesn't have to be for everyone. I agree with that, Jess. Um, only bring a child into the world if you genuinely want one because there's nothing worse than having a kid being brought in and then they're not wanted.

[00:06:28]>> Yep.

[00:06:28]>> Or it's stressful and the mother or the dad weren't ready for it and then that trauma ends up being put onto them anyway.

[00:06:33]>> Yeah. Exactly. So I agree with that. Um what else we got here? Um Alba says children's behavior is directly correlated to their met or unmet needs.

[00:06:45]And I obviously I'm not a behavioral psychologist but I would say that children's behavior is very highly correlated with their needs whether they're being met or unmet unmet.

[00:06:57]>> Yeah.

[00:06:58]>> Um I also agree with that.

[00:06:59]>> Can you please say >> I knew you weren't listening. I could tell you cuz you'll agree with us. you we were just talking about this before the app. Children's behavior is directly correlated to their met or unmet needs.

[00:07:09]>> Oh yeah.

[00:07:09]>> Yeah. I I I definitely agree with that.

[00:07:12]Um yeah, I I often my goal if I became a parent would always to be looking at a child my child's um despair or even happiness and try and work out the circumstances around that and go could they be overstimulated?

[00:07:27]>> Could they be just tired? Could they be this? instead of I think a lot of parents back in the day when we didn't have a lot of education the child would play up and misbehave and it was immediately like the blame was put on the child but really >> it's like that's the cause the child is the cause of this ruckus right now it's like no what like you say in the environment is not >> yeah what led to that um and remember I think it's it's unfair to expect children to have the same rationale and thinking as an adult >> you can't expect them to do that you are the adult so no I agree with that too all these all these are great bloody hills Um, oh, Autistic Connections, who we've had on this podcast before, said, "Dogs make the world better."

[00:08:05]>> Oh, >> I think we would all agree with that, wouldn't we? That's beautiful.

[00:08:08]>> Yeah.

[00:08:08]>> Um, let's go with um Oh, this is an interesting one, and I I know what you mean. I'm not as I'm not as strict on this, but I can see what you mean. There are floor bags and table bags. Do Do you get what that means? Well, like if if there's a bag that's been like kicking around on the floor, you don't put it on the table.

[00:08:27]>> Yeah.

[00:08:28]>> Is that Is that it?

[00:08:29]>> Yeah. I think they're saying like um maybe a big backpack that never goes on the table, but a handbag might be okay.

[00:08:34]I don't know. Again.

[00:08:35]>> Yeah. No, that's so fair. I never really think about it. It's kind of like shoes in the house. And some people really anal about that, which I so get because if you actually think about all the dirt >> that are on the bottom of a shoe because you're walking out in the big wide world.

[00:08:49]>> Yeah.

[00:08:50]>> It's kind of similar to that. Maybe like a sports bag maybe that you've taken to your Saturday footie.

[00:08:55]>> Yeah.

[00:08:56]>> And then you put Yeah. Amen.

[00:08:57]>> Shouldn't be on the bloody bench. Um Yeah. Love that. Love that. Uh we have Emma says, "Okay, this one I don't agree with, Emma, but you know what? You're entitled to your opinion." Pineapple does not belong on an effing pizza.

[00:09:08][laughter] >> I like it.

[00:09:12]>> I'm like half and half.

[00:09:13]>> Dad's a muggle.

[00:09:14]>> Mom's a witch.

[00:09:14]>> Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found it.

[00:09:16]>> Exactly.

[00:09:17]>> Nice. Um yeah. So you don't mind it?

[00:09:19]>> I don't mind it. like >> on Hawaii, if I'm having a Hawaiian pizza, I actually like Hawaiian pizza and I quite enjoy that little juicy addition.

[00:09:28]>> Yeah.

[00:09:28]>> Um but I'm not like crazy left or right on that up and down.

[00:09:34]>> Yeah. You know.

[00:09:35]>> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. Love that. Um this one's interesting and I don't know whether I fully grasp why, but maybe you will. Paige Elenor says instead of rating things on a scale of 1 to 10, it should be minus5 to 5. So they they want the middle ground to be zero.

[00:09:51]>> Oh yeah, I definitely see that because when you think of five, that's suggesting that you're five positive.

[00:09:57]>> Yeah. Wait, what?

[00:10:00]>> So you >> Yes. So zero. She's trying to say that zero should be the middle ground.

[00:10:05]>> Yeah, that makes sense.

[00:10:06]>> I can see why you're thinking.

[00:10:07]>> I I think that.

[00:10:08]>> Yeah, I've never thought of that, but I can see what you mean. Five like say like one is still a positive >> when like it means it's meant to be like it's trying to say that it's really low.

[00:10:20]>> I see what you mean. Yeah.

[00:10:21]>> But but then like right in the middle is zero.

[00:10:25]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:26]>> I agree. Yeah. Nice.

[00:10:27]>> I've never thought about that. Yeah.

[00:10:28]Neither have I. But I know what you mean. This person says a lot of chronic pain, not all, is psychosmatic. It's not made up just not from physical damage.

[00:10:36]They're basically saying that pain can exist in the body through the brain and and like ner or neural pathways, not just from like a physical pain. Like I think the brain can maybe I think they're saying the brain can elicit the feeling of pain.

[00:10:52]>> Wow. Is that to like protect something?

[00:10:54]>> Maybe. Maybe. And again, I can't speak to that cuz I don't know about that.

[00:10:57]>> Is it trying to like signal your body to like rest? Maybe like you haven't like hit your leg as such, >> but it's giving you pain to like signal to you like you need a rest, >> [ __ ] >> Maybe. Maybe. And that that actually leads quite nicely into our episode today. Um because we want to talk about kind of the the mind and body relationship and how in the western world we kind of like see them as two separate things. It's like the brain and the body. You treat the body for things and then you treat the brain for things.

[00:11:22]True.

[00:11:23]>> But in like Eastern medicine and like Chinese medicine and stuff like that, they see it all as one. Mind and body is one. And I >> it's so right. Of course it is. Our brain is the center of everything. And I think that the western medicine has really tried to um pull us apart from that and and not be in in tone with our in in sync with our bodies. Yeah.

[00:11:43]>> Um and I think that leads to a lot of the burnout we see these days, the mental health problems we see these days. Um and yeah, that that leads to kind of our episode today about stress and how it manifests for people. Um I've we've got some of your responses, but I might read those at the end. Paige and I will talk to our experience first and we'll go through some of your responses at the end. But stress is such an interesting um manifestation in the body. And as an autistic or ADHD person or any neurody divergence in in the world, trauma, OCD, dyslexia, anything, we're kind of always stressed like because of this this world and the disability that we live with and all that. And I didn't really as a kid learn how to notice my stress in my body. I would always try and like intellectualize stuff but not actually listen to the physical sensations in my body. And I think when you're autistic or ADHD and you might have issues with alexthemia, which is like knowing how you feel, or interception issues where you don't know how your body feels, it can be really hard to see stress or a burnout coming because you don't recognize the early signs. And then it's not until you're forced to stop that you go, "Oh my god, maybe I could have picked up on that earlier."

[00:12:59]>> Yeah.

[00:12:59]>> I just want to jump off my own example.

[00:13:01]I've spoken before about how I've been burnt out. I've had neurodyivergent burnout many times. Um but recently Sam and I, as I've mentioned, were kind of going through a bit of a tough time and I I couldn't really stop because we just needed to keep we're self-employed, so we just had to keep going.

[00:13:14]>> Survival.

[00:13:15]>> We're in survival mode. And I have a lot of as I've grown up real I've realized I have a lot of physical signs of when I'm getting stressed. So like first of all I I am prone to eczema. We're also both prone to like irritable bowel issues. It could be either constipation or it's diarrhea. And as we've mentioned, it's constipation if it's long-term stress for me. And if it's instant stress, it's diarrhea.

[00:13:36]>> So true. Like I talked about when I went traveling, I got super constipated. It's like prolonged and then like not access to toilets when you generally have them.

[00:13:45]>> Yeah.

[00:13:45]>> But then yeah, if something instant happens, like I will [ __ ] my pants.

[00:13:48]>> Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Um, and often you can, your body might start deteriorating, but you go, "But I'm fine." Like I would always go, "But I'm fine. I feel fine. I feel fine." But I feel like our body does tell us early.

[00:14:01]We just need to learn how to connect that mind and body so that we can recognize it earlier because like I just said, and as I've actually mentioned and told you, I my back seized about 6 weeks ago. And that was my first sign. Well, there's probably many signs before that, but that was my first major sign that my body was under stress. Yeah.

[00:14:20]>> And I was like, okay, maybe I'm because I didn't injure myself. Like, I did, but it's my muscles seized as a way of going stop.

[00:14:27]>> And it basically removed my mobility.

[00:14:29]So, it was literally trying to tell me to stop like everything.

[00:14:33]>> And it was what? Just picking up a sock.

[00:14:35]>> Yeah, it was. And it wasn't even that.

[00:14:36]It was just I don't know. I think I was just obviously really anxious >> but didn't quite acknowledge that. And as I bent down, it just went >> Yeah. And then it's only just kind of started coming right. It just it seized for like ages and I lost a lot of mobility and then about 3 weeks after that I got really sick and Paige you got sick, Sam also got sick but I got whacked so much harder than you guys >> and I think it was a reflection of my immunity and my lack of um health at that time. Uh, I hadn't really been exercising because of my back and I'd been traveling. And so I just wanted to bring this example to the episode today because in hindsight, my body was screaming at me that I was stressed for ages.

[00:15:16]>> Yeah. And you were a zombie, but like you couldn't stop.

[00:15:19]>> And often Yeah. You often you can't stop because maybe, you know, life just goes on. But I think in some ways as well, I don't fully even listen or acknowledge it. I kind of just try and trooper on and like rely on cortisol and adrenaline to keep going. And that is not good because it literally means that my body then shits itself and that's the only way I stop. And I just wanted to talk about this because I'm sure many of you have probably experienced this yourselves. And I'm trying to learn how to recognize stress in my body early because often the stress in my body is probably telling me before my mind's consciously aware of it >> that you need to >> that I need to just yeah rest or chill out a bit. Yeah. I think like I mentioned before when you're autistic and you've got interception issues where like you can't quite identify things like hunger or just things your body body's telling you plus having alexia which is like an inability to kind of recognize your emotions plus having delayed emotional processing often the stress in our body catches up first before we actually consciously feel it.

[00:16:13]Um and that's definitely happened to me and I'm trying harder to recognize things like is my jaw clenched cuz it always kind of is. Is my um am I breathing funny? Is my hyperventilation playing up? Um am I holding my shoulders up? Um are my headaches getting worse? Cuz often I'll get headaches and I I know that that I think is more directly related to my back than it is my actual head. That makes sense. Um uh another sign for me that I'm really stressed is I just doom scroll and I'll doom scroll and doom scroll and doom scroll and it's because it's easy dopamine. I've got nothing else to give and so I just sit on my phone which is probably the worst thing I could do because that's just making my nervous system even more stressed. Yeah.

[00:16:57]>> Um >> me too though.

[00:16:58]>> Yeah. I also notice when I'm getting stressed that masking becomes harder these days now that I know I'm masking that becomes harder.

[00:17:05]>> Um >> yeah, just I'm trying really hard to identify other factors before my body shits itself because I don't want that to happen again. Like just happened to me for the last basically 6 to 8 weeks.

[00:17:17]I've kind of been I would say I was not in a severe neurodyivergent burnout, but I was getting there quite bad and I'm I'm almost lucky that my back got went and then my I got sick cuz I think what would I I may have just tried to troop it on. Um what are some ways that stress manifests in you, Paige? And do you want to chat about how at the moment you're not sleeping very well, but you can't really work out why? Well, first of all, my ticks like they get they get worse and worse and um around my period or I don't actually bleed as we said before but cuz I got a a merina but you still go through the menstrual cycle and which kind of makes it confusing because you don't really know and so you kind of I guess I've come because I don't bleed I've picked up more on these physical signs to recognize when I am about to um like be in that that um phase, but my um muscles kind of like tighten up and seize up kind of all over my body.

[00:18:20]>> Yeah.

[00:18:20]>> And so I guess like yes, that's to do with my menstrual cycle, but I think it's to do with like the hormones dropping.

[00:18:26]>> And I think um I'm not a doctor, but estrogen plays a huge role with dopamine production. Um, and so when you have less of that and less happy hormones, I feel like my whole body seizes up. That's probably why your back seizes up around that time, too.

[00:18:42]>> Yeah.

[00:18:42]>> Um, I will get like the period flu as well.

[00:18:48]>> And I guess like >> yes, it's my menstrual cycle, but I think it's like even less what what it comes down to is even less of these hormones that make you feel good >> at the core of it. And so I'm more susceptible to >> pain, to injuring myself. I'm way more sore at training. like um I actually noticed such a big difference. One week I'm like so powerful and looking really good and then the next it's like I've just got all these random niggles around my body and for no reason.

[00:19:18]>> Yeah.

[00:19:18]>> It's really weird and it's always in line with my menstrual cycle.

[00:19:21]>> Yeah. Right. Yeah. Uh that's another whole factor as well when you're you've got a menstrual cycle because everything reacts differently. And I actually got sick on my lucial/ period. So it made everything even worse.

[00:19:33]>> That's when it hit cuz I didn't get it for like a week or two when you had it and then it finally got me once I was in my lucial.

[00:19:40]>> Yeah.

[00:19:41]>> It's funny. It's like your immune system just is really low.

[00:19:43]>> I think it is. I think that's actually scientifically. I'm pretty sure there's a study. Again, I can't fact check that right now, but I think your im immunity does drop in your little phase. Um, so you're more susceptible to sickness. Um, but I also get confused with like my stress or like if I have like a emotional day as someone who's ADHD, like I might have a really stressful um, for example, a live stream I hosted a few weeks ago.

[00:20:08]>> I was really anxious about that leading up into it. I was basically hosting a live stream with my co-host and I was really anxious about it. However, I didn't really process how anxious I was until I'd done it. Yeah.

[00:20:20]>> So, I was a bit like the whole two weeks leading up. It was always on my mind. It was just it was always there. I was a bit tense about it. But then it wasn't until afterwards where I went, "Holy [ __ ] I was so stressed about that." But I didn't know until afterwards. And then often you might have a stressful event like a meeting you might have or you're hosting a webinar for example, but it's not till 5 days later that you have like a meltdown or you start crying in the supermarket. Yeah.

[00:20:43]>> And it's because actually your body took 5 days to process the stress of that. I remember when you started coming to the gym with me and you had a really stressful week and it was like everything was tightened up and then you came to the gym with me and we were lying on the gym floor and we were stretching and you just started like balling your eyes out and I was like what's wrong? You're like just all hit me right now like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great example of it. I obviously was very stressed again and was holding it all in, not talking about it cuz often I don't even know. I'm very hyperverbal, but I do actually struggle to talk about my feelings and like >> my needs. I'm good at intellectualizing stuff or like kind of explaining things and ruminating on them, but I'm not necessarily good at like >> fully acknowledging the feelings. I don't know. And I think you're right, >> especially in real time. Not till like later when it all like >> hits a peak or something.

[00:21:35]>> Yeah. And then I'm crying on the gym floor going, "Why the hell am I crying?"

[00:21:37]Yeah.

[00:21:38]>> And that would have been a delayed processing thing where I finally stretch and then the body's going, "Thank you.

[00:21:44]I've been stressed for like 2 weeks and now you've released all those like stress hormones from my muscles and now I'm going to cry." Mhm.

[00:21:50]>> Um, so I just I wanted to bring this topic because I think as neurody divergent people it is a lot harder to identify our stress because as well like a lot of the research that comes out is about how to identify stress in a neurotypical person or neurotypical stresses might be things like oh had a bit of a stressful day in the workplace whereas we've had a stressful day in the workplace plus we've been over stimulated plus we've had social interactions that were tricky or we had to mask heavily And I think there's just so much more going on in our brains um even before you take us into a stressful environment.

[00:22:26]>> Yeah. [clears throat] >> So I wanted to ask um people in our Reddit as well, how does stress manifest for you like physically? Like are there are there signs where you go, oh I'm getting stressed, but I haven't psychologically worked it out yet, but my body's now starting to do something.

[00:22:40]Someone says I twitch. Like I twitch. I get that sometimes and I've never actually figured out why. And now I'm gonna notice that more.

[00:22:50]>> Wait, what?

[00:22:51]>> And I like I get eye twitches in my >> but not like not um >> involuntary. Yeah. Like it's just like my muscles start spasming in my eyes.

[00:22:58]>> Not often. But now that this person said that I'm like, "Huh, I wonder if it is lined with with stress, but I don't I've never identified that."

[00:23:05]>> Is that when you just get like a little like pulse in your eye?

[00:23:08]>> Yeah. And it's just fluttering and I can't stop it.

[00:23:10]>> Like that. Yeah.

[00:23:11]>> Yeah. But maybe it's stress related.

[00:23:13]>> Maybe.

[00:23:13]>> I don't know. I kind of I'm I want to I'm going to try and observe myself now if I get an eye twitch again cuz that's really interesting cuz someone else said I get the eye twitch as well. Someone else said yes. So there's three people there that um get an eye twitch.

[00:23:25]>> Um someone else said my most obvious one is my stomach like high up right below the ribs. When people say knots, it's literally like that for me. Like a knot and something compressing at the same time. That's very interesting. I sometimes get a sore stomach too when I was a kid mainly. I got it recently actually a few weeks ago and I was like holy moly. I haven't had this this tight stomach in years and it was probably around when I was getting sick actually.

[00:23:48]Um, someone else said, "Prol stress affects my stomach. I get reflux symptoms and at the moment I need medication to manage it. In the past, I've grown my teeth pretty badly once I woke myself up doing it. Oh my gosh, I grind my teeth so much.

[00:24:01]>> I've just had something that I've just been reminded what that just I don't know why that triggered something about me."

[00:24:08]>> Yeah.

[00:24:09]>> Well, us as well. Oh my god. both of us.

[00:24:12]More so when we were working full-time, I would like feel constantly nauseous.

[00:24:16]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:24:17]>> I would I would I would like some mornings vomit. I actually vomit, but most mornings I would feel so nauseous and sick.

[00:24:24]>> So, I actually had to get like anti-nauseian medication from from my doctor. Yes.

[00:24:28]>> But it's funny how it's like it's not their fault, but it's like treating the symptom, not the cause. Like, why are you nauseous all the time? Exactly.

[00:24:35]>> Like that's not normal. It's like normal if you're on a boat or on a car, but like all the time, what's going on there?

[00:24:40]>> Yeah. And that was just stress. Just [clears throat] Yeah. Complete stress.

[00:24:44]And I was the same. Like I think we've spoken about before me and you would be over the toilet each morning before work.

[00:24:48]>> That's so like now like now saying that out loud.

[00:24:53]>> I know.

[00:24:53]>> It's what?

[00:24:55]>> That's crazy. E >> we just like did that and like didn't bend an eyelid like didn't think to look further.

[00:25:01]>> Yeah. I know.

[00:25:02]>> And it's so not normal.

[00:25:03]>> I know. Exactly. And I also think a lot of the time when I was doing that, I was almost blame, not blaming myself, but that was also tied up in the time where I was personally consuming cannabis at night to get me through everything. And so I think when I was in the toilet, like not necessarily vomiting full full up, but like it was a really intense gag reflex where I'd like be dry wreaching and like some stuff would come up, but I think I almost was like, "Wow, I probably deserve this because I'm smoking weed at night." You know what I mean? Like I feel like I really internalized a whole lot of that. But again, why was I smoking weed every night?

[00:25:36]>> Exactly. Is Yeah.

[00:25:38]>> Yeah. Um but yeah, the grinding of the teeth. I get that as well in my in my sleep. Um and even I will notice that I'm just clenching my jaw all the time.

[00:25:45]>> Back to the weed thing.

[00:25:47]>> This is the thing with addiction. No one wakes up and goes, I'm going to be an addict.

[00:25:51]>> I know.

[00:25:51]>> I'm going to choose to do heroin or whatever it is.

[00:25:56]>> Um and that's I'm that's what I'm going to do with my life. It's like no one decides to do that. No. This is why like you like people who shame people for addictions is like really sad because clearly there's something deeper going on there. Like they their hormones aren't balanced for whatever reason or whatever it is like they've got trauma.

[00:26:14]Totally.

[00:26:14]>> And it's like >> I don't know. I feel like in society addicts are just seen as like like people >> no don't really appreciate that they're not just doing that to f up their lives.

[00:26:24]They're doing it cuz they need help in some way.

[00:26:27]>> Exactly right. Um, I very much think that drug use and addiction should be treated as a health issue, not a criminal issue.

[00:26:35]>> Oh. Yeah. It's crazy that it's just not >> they're not criminals. And often, yeah, it's because of really really tragic circumstances that they're actually taking drugs in the first place.

[00:26:45]>> Very sad. I I Yeah, addiction is a very sad thing. And I I >> don't relate to it to an extreme, but I can understand how and why people get addicted to things like methamphetamine or heroin. I I can so understand it.

[00:26:58]>> Yeah.

[00:26:58]>> Um this same person who was talking about the jaw clenching and teeth, they also have to remind themselves to relax their shoulders approximately 39,275 393 times a day.

[00:27:11]>> Yeah. [laughter] Uh someone else says, "Yes, my shoulders are always hunched up. I need to teach myself to relax, too." Someone else said, "I get super tight shoulders, headaches, migraines, teeth grinding, clenching, and pretty horrible back pain when I'm stressed."

[00:27:23]Me, too. M >> um someone else says, "I hold stress in my shoulders and if I can't release it and the stress persists, the pain then starts shooting up my neck and back and the side of my head around my eyes." Oh, you poor thing. See, this these are all such um there possibly are other signs before it leads to this. But I think I'm trying to I want to talk about this cuz I want us to try and be able to recognize these stress signals a bit earlier and be a bit kinder to ourselves. And perhaps I know it's not easy to just accommodate yourself and say to your boss, I need to go home. I know that. But if we can be a bit more aware of it and be just kinder to ourselves that if you are hunching your back's in pain and you've got like a headache, >> that's that's not normal. You're definitely stressed. You're definitely stressed. I've always had my back doesn't always seize, but I get severe lower back pain as well when I'm very stressed. Um um someone else says, "My stress and anxiety is so severe and chronic that it is in my digestion and bowels. I get nauseous or constipated and bloated. My stress also causes intense headaches and migraines in the forehead. For a while, I had to take regular supplements because my anxiety and stress is so bad my body's physically showing it. It's a lot better now. And my anxiety and stress is just focused on my severe nailbiting that hasn't stopped since I was a child."

[00:28:38]>> Fair enough.

[00:28:39]>> I did that as a kid, too.

[00:28:40]>> Yeah. Yeah. I did a little bit of nail biting as well, sucking my thumb to very old. Still playing with my hair. Um >> Oh, I chew the inside of my mouth.

[00:28:49]>> Oh yeah, >> I got Oh, this is gross. I pull off like big pieces of skin >> in your in your cheek.

[00:28:54]>> Mhm.

[00:28:55]>> And I chew on them. [screaming] But I'm not judging, but >> No, but I do. But I do. And I feel like people listening might do the same thing.

[00:29:01]>> Maybe.

[00:29:02]>> Like, you know, have you ever seen me like this?

[00:29:04]>> Yeah. I do see you doing that all the time.

[00:29:06]>> Constantly doing that. So that's almost like your uh it's like a sniff, but it's kind of harmful harmful to your body.

[00:29:13]>> Yeah. No, I've got like scars all around my mouth. I find it satisfying.

[00:29:17]>> Okay. All right.

[00:29:18]>> But like obviously I'm doing it to try and regulate or something.

[00:29:22]>> Maybe. Is there a way Maybe you should be chewing gum. Is there something else you could be chewing?

[00:29:25]>> Chewing gum grosses me out because >> it tastes so yuck quickly.

[00:29:30]>> It loses its flavor in like two [ __ ] seconds.

[00:29:32]>> I know. I know. And then like it actually makes me hungry because my body thinks it's getting food and then it's not.

[00:29:37]>> Interesting. Yeah. Right. Um, someone else said, "I get a headache in my eyes which then often radiates up to the rest of my head. I always get this after a big busy day. I also get a sore jaw potentially due to clenching it without realizing. Also, gut issues. I get the runs and a super sore lower back. These are all very sim like not similar, but there's lots of themes here. There's back pain, gut issues, and an insane tension in our head and shoulders, >> knees and toes.

[00:30:01]>> Yeah. Um um I've just thought of two people that we know that we love. Um I won't mention them, but who suffer from hyperhydrosis when they're when they're stressed. They just sweat and sweat like they're overwhelmed and stressed.

[00:30:15]>> True. And that's that's a clear nervous system reaction. Yeah.

[00:30:18]>> Um and they've both been to doctors and been one of them was given like this like stuff to put on their hands to try and like stop the sweat.

[00:30:27]>> Oh no. It's coming from inside.

[00:30:29]>> That's what I said to my friend. And I was like, "Hey, I think this is actually an anxiety related thing." And then that person recently has said, "Yeah, I agree." Um, it's funny how the doctor just treats the symptom a >> and it just shouldn't be that way. Um, someone else says, "I break out in hives/ red rash on my neck and chest when my body goes into fight or flight.

[00:30:46]It's not itchy, but does feel very warm, so I notice it when it happens." Oh my gosh, this happened to me when I was sick. I got a heat rash like that. It didn't It wasn't itchy, but man, the the hives and rash was so in intense, and I I was like, should I go to the doctor?

[00:30:59]Um, this person said, "It started when I was in my mid- teens and I've never been able to overcome it. Um, at the time I started seeing a psychologist because I was studying psychology in school. Uh, and they advised that it might be social anxiety. In my 20s, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. The weird thing is that it will come up whenever my body senses any ounce of stress.

[00:31:18]talking to a person of authority when I'm emotionally upset or triggered.

[00:31:22]Talking about things that mean something to me when I notice the person I'm talking to might have doubts about what I'm saying or doesn't agree with me when I meet new people when there is conflict. Oh my gosh, you poor thing. So just and that sucks as well when it's so um visual because I I know that must be you must be selfcon well maybe you're not but I think >> adding on to the fact that it's you can see that it must be self you must be self-conscious of that >> cuz it's not something you can really hide. Um, so my thoughts are with Yeah, >> I would like randomly get this like shooting electric shock on the surface of my skin everywhere.

[00:31:57]>> I think I mentioned it before. Um, and it'll be like I'll get really hot really quick and I'll get like this shooting Yeah. electric shock and I've just looked it up. Getting shooting electric shock or burning pain on the surface of your skin while suddenly feeling very very hot is typically called dysesia.

[00:32:14]Disresia can disia um disses the [laughter] hard disia.

[00:32:28]>> Yeah. D Y S E S S T H E S I A.

[00:32:32]>> These are terms used for abnormal skin sensations caused by an underlying nervous system issue or nerve damage.

[00:32:39]Probably nervous system issue for me. I mean >> I have Tourette's. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably quite closely linked to that.

[00:32:46]>> Yeah. Um and the sudden rush of heat is often described as a hot flash which can be did I just say that? No.

[00:32:53]>> Oh. Which can be related to nervous system misfires or hor hormonal shifts.

[00:32:58]So it's quite common in permenopause and menopause.

[00:33:00]>> Oh jeepers. But they've been getting that for a few years.

[00:33:04]>> Yeah. I wonder if though you you've got Tourette's and I do think that that's a nervous system condition. So that's possibly an extension of that. I don't know.

[00:33:13]>> That's so interesting.

[00:33:14]>> Yeah.

[00:33:15]>> Um it also says deficiencies in B vitamins can result in nerve misfiring and skin sensitivity.

[00:33:21]>> Oh yeah.

[00:33:22]>> Anyways, that's crazy.

[00:33:23]>> That's interesting that some people listening probably have experienced that. Someone else said it's a bit different for me because I have Tourette's. When I'm stressed, not only will my chest and stomach tighten up, but I will start getting more donic ticks, which only increases in severity with the more stress I feel. I'll also begin to overthink things faster and my vocal and motor ticks become worse too.

[00:33:41]I also tend to find that the more stress I'm under, the faster I am to becoming overstimulated and I'm due to becoming more sensory overload too. You understand that? A >> ah yeah.

[00:33:50]>> Like the more stressed you get, >> you'll get stressed about ticking.

[00:33:54]>> Yeah.

[00:33:54]>> And then you'll get more ticks. You speak to it's not my experience.

[00:33:57]>> No. Yeah, pretty much, bro. It's [ __ ] awful. And it's like the the ticks are like an itch you can't ever scratch.

[00:34:02]That's how it feels. And probably the best way to explain it to someone who doesn't get it.

[00:34:05]>> Yeah. Oh, that's awful. Yeah, >> it's like playing whack-a-mole, but you can't win.

[00:34:10]>> Yeah, exactly.

[00:34:11]>> Oh my gosh. Um, someone else says, "My stress has gotten really bad since having children. Now I have IBS. I also now have POTS, and I think both have only become prominent in the last few years and trying to be a parent in this neurotypical world. I get intense pain across my shoulders and my back will seize." Like you say, Ellie, I'm more likely to get ill. Um, my skin gets worse and I get more migraines. It's often after something stressful when I finally stop that everything gets worse.

[00:34:34]Same >> same it it always happens when everything when I am able to stop this happened to me every school holidays pretty much when I was at school every school holidays I get sick it was just it was an ongoing kind of like gag because finally my nervous system could rest and then I just get sick and I could never enjoy my holidays so there you go um there is there were signs that I was completely burnt out as a as a child but um we didn't know because I also was functioning >> well yeah in quotation marks I was doing well at school I was doing cocurricular activities so it looked like I was fine.

[00:35:05]>> Well, you were masking so you weren't posing as an issue to anyone around you.

[00:35:09]>> Yeah. Hard out. Uh, someone else says it affects my sleep. When stressed and tired, I get sleep paralysis. When I was in burnout, I started sleepwalking.

[00:35:16]Constant jaw tension and stomach issues.

[00:35:18]Uh, this person said, "My tonitis gets loud." So, that's like when you got ring in your ears.

[00:35:22]>> Oh.

[00:35:23]>> My I only get Do you get Okay. With When you get it, is it a prolonged thing or does it all of a sudden come on for like 10 seconds and then go away?

[00:35:30]>> All of a sudden come on and then go away.

[00:35:32]>> Insane.

[00:35:33]>> Yeah. I'll get this really intense like the whole vibration of my like environment feels like it changes.

[00:35:39]>> Not to get all woo woo. No.

[00:35:42]>> Someone talking about me. No.

[00:35:44]>> No. Some in the spiritual community sometimes they think that that's like you're getting a download or like getting getting some sort of messaging either from someone who's passed on or from your higher self >> to like to like be present and take note of what's happening in that moment.

[00:36:00]>> Interesting. I'm definitely getting it more frequently as I age. I didn't really get it as a kid.

[00:36:05]>> Yeah, it's probably just per menopause.

[00:36:06][laughter] Um, yes. This person said, "Titis gets loud. Shoulders get tense, headaches.

[00:36:12]They clench their teeth and mouth breathe instead of through the nose.

[00:36:15]Then they get a dry mouth. Um, I get weird random allergic skin reactions. I bump into things and get more clumsy."

[00:36:20]Actually, same. I do that so chronically. I'll bump into things. I will roll my ankles. Um, yeah. I'll forget how to walk. And it's always because I'm I'm more away with the fairies than usual. Yeah. I'm not concentrating on my body and how it's in space and time. I'm so in my head and exhausted that Yeah. I'll injure myself.

[00:36:39]>> And it's always those times where you're already feeling over stimulated and like your sleeve gets caught on the door handle or something.

[00:36:44]>> Oh my god. It happens so much. Oh, with my Audi t-shirt cuz it's so long.

[00:36:49]>> No, it's just not all good.

[00:36:51]>> Yeah. Um I'm more sensitive to sounds and smells and really irritable with people. Same. like, all right, my sensory overload increases when I'm getting stressed, and that's a really good sign for me that, oh, maybe I need to have a day off. Maybe I need to just chill out. Um, someone else said, IBS flare-ups, fibromyalgia flare-ups, insomnia, and exhaustion, can't eat. Um, actually, I'm the opposite. When I'm stressed, I Well, actually, depends. If it's Yeah. Like, if it's really emotional stress, I can't eat.

[00:37:19]>> But if I'm just struggling and burnt out and I'm just a bit depressed and everything sucks, I will eat so much.

[00:37:24]>> I'm the same as you. Yeah.

[00:37:25]>> So, when I was going through that really emotional time, heartbre if I'm feeling like no energy and I can't cook a meal or something, I'll just get >> Yeah, totally. Totally. Someone else said IBS and tonitis, insomnia or hyperomnia, teeth grinding, nightmares, migraines, diarrhea, and vomiting. Um, someone else said sore tongue from chewing on it. That's kind of similar to you, Paige. Um, and paper plastic bottles and cans tend to accidentally get crumpled or ripples because I get a lot of energy in my hands. So, I guess I start squeezing it >> maybe. Um, someone else said, uh, I'm not very good at noticing straight away when I'm stressed, but then when things build up, I do notice that my self-t talk gets worse. Huh. Oh, yeah.

[00:38:08]>> And the patients I have with my pets, >> I find, >> oh my god, same.

[00:38:11]>> Yeah. Whoopsies.

[00:38:13]>> I find it harder to not spiral from my thoughts and then constantly pick my skin here and bite my lips. I pick my skin constantly, especially when I'm stressed. I release I realize that I'm replaying conversations I've had with people in my head for hours, >> trying to find a reason for them to not like me.

[00:38:27]>> Yeah.

[00:38:28]>> Um, this also happens when I haven't slept enough or maybe like all the time.

[00:38:31]Not sure if it's stress, but like just living in general.

[00:38:34]>> Yeah, I mean, >> I relate to all that.

[00:38:35]>> Yeah, I relate to pretty much everything people have said here. Like most most things I relate to. And there's some very clear themes here. Jaw clenching and tightness and tension in your like upper body, shoulders, neck, head, migraines, eye twitching, irritable bowel symptoms, um back pain, um insomnia, um what else have people said that's very clear themes? Uh yeah, negative selft talk, eating habits changing whether that's less or more.

[00:39:05]Like there there's actually some very consistent themes here. It's actually really sad and unfortunate because you know what? I know I'm like really like I'm like I don't have children. I probably don't ever plan to have them.

[00:39:16]But it makes me sad because it's it's because of this that I go if I'm getting impatient with my pets.

[00:39:23]>> Imagine if I had children.

[00:39:25]>> Yeah.

[00:39:26]>> Me not having children is not really >> your choice.

[00:39:30]>> A choice. Like it's not like it is in these circumstances. If I could choose to have a little bundle of joy and and actually experience that as a woman who does menrate, I do think that like there is part of me that would like to experience that.

[00:39:43]>> Yeah.

[00:39:44]>> But I am just like I just don't think it's possible for me without getting a whole lot of trauma onto that child.

[00:39:50]>> Yeah.

[00:39:50]>> And so it's just like not even an option.

[00:39:52]>> Yeah. I mean it depends. You may find [clears throat] a partner eventually.

[00:39:56]Who knows? And they could be very very accommodating to your needs. You never know, you know, like that. I wouldn't rule it out completely, but I so understand what you're saying.

[00:40:03]>> Yeah. It's like it's like sad because like it's like me being all like, "Oh, couldn't have kids, couldn't do it."

[00:40:09]It's like not me not hating on the concept of having kids. Like realistic.

[00:40:14]It's like I'm realistic from my experience and I'm like, "Oh my god, that just looks impossible.

[00:40:19]>> I get wound up. If I'm really stressed, my ticks are like through the roof and I'm not getting sleep, that's when also I everything just goes terribly as well."

[00:40:27]>> Yeah. And if I get a little shitty at my pets, like I can't I can't imagine having children that need you 247.

[00:40:36]>> Yeah, I know. I know. It's It's >> And it's sad. It's like I I want to in in an ideal world, I would like to probably experience it.

[00:40:43]>> Totally. Totally. Um >> I think I would be hilarious having a little mini mini page.

[00:40:47]>> It would be It would be hilarious. It It would be so great. Like I would love to have a little niece on you.

[00:40:52]>> Yeah, I know.

[00:40:52]>> But it's fine. And I'd love to give mom and dad the gift of having a granddaughter, grandson.

[00:40:58]>> So it's like I I sound very anti-children.

[00:41:02]>> Yeah.

[00:41:02]>> It's not really that. It's like just not possible for my experience, especially in this world. Okay. Unless you became so financially independent where you're making money while you sleep through um selling stuff online, whatever. Maybe if you got financially independent like to an extent that you're just rolling in money. Maybe that would change. I'm not saying money I'm not saying money brings happiness, but if you didn't have it gives you freedom.

[00:41:28]>> Exactly. If you didn't have to sit at your desk all day on a computer getting money and and kind of getting over stimulated by all of that. Yeah.

[00:41:34]>> Perhaps you could just be >> You're right. I think it's this capitalist society.

[00:41:38]>> Yeah.

[00:41:38]>> I think like when it was back in the day and the dad just worked. I don't know how this turned into a podcast on kids again, but when the dad worked and not This is the other problem. I don't like the traditional like family layout. I don't. So, I don't want to be the mom staying at home and not working. I get my fulfillment and my like excitement for life through my passions and through my career. So, like >> yeah, >> I just don't know if I'd be able to do both.

[00:42:04]>> Yeah.

[00:42:05]>> And and these days it's like regardless of that, >> the mom and dad have to work anyway in order to keep up with the cost of living anyway. And so like >> it just seems like a real far away far away land kind of dreamland maybe.

[00:42:23]>> But >> you're right. Maybe if I am a millionaire.

[00:42:27]>> Yeah.

[00:42:28]>> And but not that I'd get a nanny cuz I don't want to do that. Not no shame to anyone who has done that. But like this is the other thing. The perfectionism comes in and goes like I would want to be like the best mom.

[00:42:39]>> I don't know. To totally you might even if you end up bringing in great money with your career and you still want to keep working though, you could have a stay at home dad, you know, like you could you might find a partner who's like I want to stay home with kids and then you could actually >> Can he have the child then as in like give birth to it?

[00:42:52]>> Yeah. Can he carry it and like birth it?

[00:42:55]This is the thing.

[00:42:56]>> Don't know if it's possible for that one. [laughter] Um I mean it might be um >> like I honestly think all signs point to I need to be a lesbian, [laughter] >> but I'm just not. Like I need a wife that like >> would like would love to do that and and be the stay at home mom >> and I'm the dad that brings home the bacon.

[00:43:16]>> Yeah.

[00:43:16]>> Or the mom.

[00:43:17]>> The parent that brings home >> the parent that brings home the bacon.

[00:43:19]But I'm just not a lesbian.

[00:43:21]>> Yeah, I know. And unfortunately it is not a choice. Um those who think it's a choice.

[00:43:25]>> If it was, you know, if it was an effing choice is what pisses me off that people think it's a choice. If it was a choice, do you think I'd choose men?

[00:43:32]>> No offense. [laughter] There are some great men. But do you think I would like like I love women?

[00:43:37]>> Yeah.

[00:43:37]>> Like okay, generally speaking, they're nurturing, they're kind, they're empathetic. Generally speaking.

[00:43:43]>> Yeah. Again, >> I know that I know that there's some crazies out there for show, >> but like I just love women.

[00:43:49]>> Yeah, I know.

[00:43:50]>> Just unfortunately not in that way.

[00:43:52]>> I know. Um who knows? You maybe you get a friendship eventually who you both want kids, but you don't necessarily want a loving relationship.

[00:43:58]>> Oh my god. Maybe. Maybe. The conventional family doesn't have to be two parents who love each other. True.

[00:44:04]Do you know what? I do give off lesbian vibes though.

[00:44:08]>> I have had five people in my life. Got really animated. [laughter] But ask me directly to my face, which I don't take offense because >> it's not an offensive thing. Well, for me it's not an offensive thing, but like um I just find interesting like I love that they feel comfortable enough to just ask. They're like, "Are you a lesbian?" I've had that quite a few times. I'm like, "I'm actually not." But what makes you say that and ask that?

[00:44:29][laughter] But I know you just give off kind of like mask. But I don't do I >> No, no. Sometimes I feel like you're quite a mix. Like you you can look you can sometimes you come across very feminine and like you put on a beautiful outfit and you put your makeup on and then other times you're in quite um an androgynous kind of outfit where it's like I'm like I feel like I kind of sometimes feel like Billy Eyish.

[00:44:53]>> Yeah.

[00:44:54]>> That kind of vibe.

[00:44:55]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:44:56]>> I don't know.

[00:44:57]>> Yeah.

[00:44:57]>> Or like Cara Deivine.

[00:44:59]>> Yeah. And again like >> or Christian Stewart.

[00:45:02]>> Are they all lesbian?

[00:45:03]>> Um Billy's not.

[00:45:06]>> She's got a partner unless it's changed recently.

[00:45:08]>> Oh, but Cara and Christian Stewart are aren't they?

[00:45:11]>> Yes, they are.

[00:45:12]>> I I kind of give off I think that vibe sometimes.

[00:45:15]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:45:16]>> And so I get why I've got that question, but it's just like well I've got that one too many times to for it to not just be a kinky dink.

[00:45:22]>> Yeah. That's so funny.

[00:45:23]>> So funny. Um anyway, in conclusion for this episode, I just wanted to maybe make you aware of the fact that our body and mind, they are linked and often if your body starts going, it's trying to tell you something. So keep an eye out for tension in your head, migraines, like don't just I feel like we're we we are get I feel like we're taught to ignore these things. It's like, oh, you're just feeling a little bit tired.

[00:45:46]Oh, you're just feeling a little bit of pain. Oh, it's probably on your period.

[00:45:49]Oh, just deal with it. Oh, every woman gets that. Oh, every person gets that.

[00:45:52]And no, we shouldn't be feeling tension for weeks. We shouldn't be feeling back pain for weeks. We shouldn't be having IBS all the time. Your body is stressed.

[00:46:01]And I really just want to try and add to the conversation that we should be listening to those things in our body because eventually it's only going to lead to burnout. And try and be kind to yourself and don't expect to just push through these things. I know it's >> No, it's we can't because we'll just get more burnt out. And we don't work like that. We need to work from a place of balance, grounding, and regul a regulated nervous system.

[00:46:24]>> Yeah. Your body keeps the score. I haven't read that book, but apparently it's great. Your body knows before maybe your conscious mind is aware.

[00:46:30]>> Yeah.

[00:46:32]Cheers. I thought [laughter] you >> I was I've I've gone to say like two things, but then I've forgotten.

[00:46:36]>> Oh, you've got >> I think I was going to say I think I was going to say, didn't we get like really heavy periods when we were stressed as well? I can't really remember but but actually I was when I was going through what I now know as burnout in my 16 17 18year-old years.

[00:46:52]You lost hair.

[00:46:53]>> I did lose hair. I got super skinny. I was already quite skinny but you would always roll your ankle.

[00:46:59]>> Always roll my ankles.

[00:47:00]>> Um >> that's hyper mobility.

[00:47:02]>> Yeah.

[00:47:02]>> And like and like clumsiness.

[00:47:05]um I would get severe IBS um belt and now that I think about it I was diagnosed okay with indometriosis you only can be diagnosed with that if you have a laparoscopy >> well used to used to apparently there's this new saliva test coming but >> the current diagnostic scope is that they have to go in with a camera and diagnose you with um endometriosis through a laparoscopy when I was a teenager going through what I now know was burnout I was getting severe heavy periods sorry too much information clots, like really, really intense periods.

[00:47:38]>> Yeah.

[00:47:38]>> And I was diagnosed with endometriosis based on symptoms and my hormone levels on a blood test. Again, they didn't know if I was cuz I never got the laposcopy, but I was treated for it. And that's when I got my Marina at 18 years old.

[00:47:51]And I've kind of had one ever since.

[00:47:52]>> Mhm.

[00:47:53]>> So, I actually wonder now if I took my marina out, >> would I have endometriosis? Do I have indometriosis this whole time? Or was it just chronic stress and it was leading to horrible periods?

[00:48:06]>> This is what I wonder as one. Would I fear and worry about taking my marina out if I ever I could choose to not ever take it out until I have to go through menopause? It's great. Um but >> I do wonder about this. If we take it out, are we going to go back to having like the worst periods of our lives? I don't want that. I don't know. It's going to be really interesting to see whether I do end up getting indometriosis symptoms again flaring up or whether I'm actually fine and maybe in hindsight it wasn't endometriosis. is severe stress.

[00:48:32]>> Yeah.

[00:48:32]>> Yeah, it's a good point. Um, but yeah, I just we just want to talk about stress and how it manifests in our bodies, the recent experience I've had, and then we want to hear from you about yours because I feel like we all talk about this, >> it's been quite interesting to see that so many of the people that have mentioned how they how stress manifests, they're very similar to how we manifest.

[00:48:51]>> That is not something we should be putting up with as a society. And if you are having these issues, first of all, I know I can't fix it, but I just want you to be kind to yourself and have a bit more um strength in knowing maybe you say to your partner, sister, child, teacher, boss, I'm getting severe >> panic attacks. I'm getting severe back pain this week. I know that's my body's way of saying I need to stop. Can I please just stop for a day even?

[00:49:17]>> Can I have a 3-day weekend? Can I, you know, just be really aware of the try not to we we're so taught to ignore those bodily sensations in the western world and treat the symptom, not the cause. Um, and I think it's important that if we just listen to our bodies a bit more, we wouldn't end up in these really horrible bouts of burnout and and being completely chronically ill and all the other things that come with it. So, I hope this episode just helped you kind of maybe become more aware of those like what you might think are just subtle kind of symptoms. No, no, it's it's obviously happening for a reason. It's obviously your body telling you something.

[00:49:49]>> Yeah, the eye twitch is interesting. I'm going to I'm going to notice next time I have an eye twitch cuz it does happen.

[00:49:54]Am I really stressed? And again, like I mentioned earlier, sometimes even if I have my sore back, I still can't identify if I'm stressed because I have issues with emotional processing and delayed processing, alexthemia, and not being able to describe or understand my feelings. And then as well, if you got like tasks you need to get done at like clients or something, your people pleasing and fing or like the like the adrenaline the adrenaline of having to not let these people down just push you through. Exactly. I've definitely pushed through with cortisol and adrenaline my whole life. Um and it really always comes to a halt when I get sick. My back seizes, I roll an ankle. Um so yeah, I just wanted wanted to bring awareness to let's try and recognize these stress signs a bit earlier if we can.

[00:50:38]>> Amen, sister. Amen. Um, have a great week and we will see you next week.

[00:50:42]>> Yeah, thank you. See you next week. I It's only been like 2 seconds, but the real I talked about that I posted at the start of the app, it's kind of flopping.

[00:50:51]>> Is it? Oh, only we >> thought it was funny.

[00:50:54]>> Maybe only we find it funny.

[00:50:55]>> Yeah, maybe.

[00:50:56]>> Okay, maybe go give it a like, guys.

[00:50:57][laughter] No. Have a great day. Thank you. Bye.