adhd is now my superpower | heather goodman

[00:00:09][music] Hey, it's Avery. [music] Welcome to Cheers.

[00:00:21]>> Hi, Heather.

[00:00:22]>> Hello.

[00:00:22]>> How are you?

[00:00:23]>> Good. How are you?

[00:00:24]>> We were just talking about how cute you are.

[00:00:26]>> Oh my gosh, >> you are dressed so cute. When I was pregnant, I fit in nothing and I dress so ugly.

[00:00:32]>> Belly out cuz I don't fit in anything.

[00:00:34]>> As you should, though. How many weeks are you?

[00:00:36]>> I'm 33 weeks.

[00:00:38]>> You look amazing.

[00:00:38]>> Yes. Thank you.

[00:00:39]>> And you're busy cuz you have a six and a four-year-old. Six and a three-year-old.

[00:00:43]>> She's almost four.

[00:00:43]>> Yeah. So, you're so busy already.

[00:00:46]>> Yeah.

[00:00:46]>> And another one on the way.

[00:00:48]>> Yes. [laughter] >> How are you feeling?

[00:00:50]>> Um, well, you know, my husband just informed me that I started snoring. So feeling really cute, really sexy. Yeah, it's giving CPAP needed. [laughter] Um >> it's like cool.

[00:01:05]>> Yeah. Do you sleep on your side?

[00:01:07]>> Yeah.

[00:01:08]>> As much as you can. It's hard. I feel like cuz they say not to sleep on your back when you're pregnant, but you're like, I just want to be comfortable.

[00:01:15]>> Oh my gosh. I would give anything to sleep on my back right now.

[00:01:18]>> I know. Do you use a pregnancy pillow? I did with my first and I feel like I didn't use it that much and then I just never used one again and now I'm hitting the point where I'm like maybe I should try it.

[00:01:28]>> Yeah.

[00:01:28]>> But I'm like is it worth it? I only have like a month left.

[00:01:30]>> That's how I felt like towards the end when I was getting uncomfortable I was like okay I only have a month left. Why am I going to buy all this stuff?

[00:01:37]>> Yeah.

[00:01:37]>> And then not use it.

[00:01:38]>> But I'm like maybe I should. I don't know.

[00:01:40]>> If you get a better night's rest it's worth it.

[00:01:43]>> Yeah. I know. Especially like when I'm sure you know like when it's not your first and you just know what you're headed into. I'm like, what a cruel joke that you can't sleep that good when you're pregnant because I'm like, I know I'm about to have no sleep for months.

[00:01:55]>> I know. I know. Do you breastfeed your babies?

[00:01:58]>> Yeah, I have. I My second didn't last very long cuz she was like allergic to my breast milk or something like she like thrived on formula. I did like almost a year with my first. So, >> that's amazing. Yeah. I mean, I always say fed is best like with my background and pick you. I I would always tell the moms cuz I would help a lot with that process >> of getting babies to latch and >> the it always broke my heart how much guilt moms had when they couldn't do that.

[00:02:24]>> And I'm like, I promise you fed is best cuz not only are you going to be miserable, but your baby's going to be so miserable. Your baby's not going to sleep.

[00:02:31]>> Yes.

[00:02:31]>> Just feed the baby in any way you can and it's okay.

[00:02:34]>> When I switched to formula with my second, I was like, why didn't I do this sooner?

[00:02:39]>> Like, why [clears throat] did I not?

[00:02:40]Like I think even now like I plan on breastfeeding but I'm like I'm going to throw in like a formula bottle like >> once a night. Like why not have my husband do one of the feedings? Why did I torture myself?

[00:02:50]>> Absolutely. And formula will hold them over a little bit longer too. So a bottle before bed is lifechanging.

[00:02:56]>> I might try that this time. I feel like that's the winning combo.

[00:02:59]>> For sure. If people don't know you and they don't they aren't familiar with your content, how would you describe yourself? I feel like in the last year especially, I've really transitioned to like >> artsy craft mom kind of. Yes.

[00:03:13]>> Which I feel like is more true to who I am in a lot of ways, which is fun.

[00:03:17]>> You're a very artsy artistic person, but you also like give that aura, >> you know. No, it is like it's it's you as a person. I feel like it's very rare to find people like that.

[00:03:28]>> And it's the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, your jewelry. Like it's it's very cute. And I feel like to have a mom like that is so special cuz you always make everything very magical for them which is really cool.

[00:03:39]>> Thank you. Well, it's so fun cuz my girls are so into crafts and stuff. So, it's like a good excuse to like lean into that part of myself.

[00:03:47]>> Yeah. When did you first start on social media?

[00:03:50]>> Um, okay. So, it's so funny. I was doing some form of influencing like >> like my senior year in high school. Oh, really?

[00:03:58]>> So, like I'm 32. So, that's a long time ago.

[00:04:00]>> Yeah. When I was 18, I joined this European like fashion blogging website and you like posted your outfits and tagged where you got it from and I had like these random little brand deals. I would get paid like 50 bucks or like 100 bucks, but like a senior in high school.

[00:04:16]>> I was stoked.

[00:04:17]>> You're like, um, this is like four meals at Taco Bell.

[00:04:20]>> So, in a weird way, I've like been doing it for a long time and I like had like a Tumblr blog and all of that. So, I've been doing it for a long time, actually.

[00:04:28]>> Where did you grow up? I grew up in Arizona, like Mesa, Gilbert area.

[00:04:31]>> Wait, where'd you go to high school?

[00:04:33]>> I went to Higgley.

[00:04:34]>> Okay. I went to Red Mountain.

[00:04:35]>> Oh, no way. I have a ton of cousins who went there.

[00:04:37]>> Oh my gosh. Funny. Speaking of, you lived in Hawaii for a long time.

[00:04:41]>> Yeah. 11 years.

[00:04:42]>> Wow.

[00:04:43]>> And we just moved in January.

[00:04:45]>> Did you move? Wait, I'm trying to think cuz I graduated high school 2013. Did you move right out of high school?

[00:04:51]>> No, we were we moved out in 2015.

[00:04:54]>> Okay. So, >> and you and your husband? Yeah.

[00:04:56]>> So, where did you guys meet? So, we met at ASU.

[00:04:59]>> Okay.

[00:04:59]>> Yeah. First semester. Fell in love at 18, which is so crazy to me now, especially now I have daughters. I'm like, if they came to me, told me that they met the love of their life at 18, I'd be like, "That's not real.

[00:05:11][laughter] That's not allowed." But no, we knew like we just like fell so in love. And then, um, we actually both grew up Mormons, so we served missions.

[00:05:20]>> You served a mission?

[00:05:21]>> Yes, I did. In Utah, of all places.

[00:05:24]>> When you got your calling, were you like, "Really?"

[00:05:25]>> Oh, I cried. Oh, >> I was like, "This is my nightmare >> cuz everyone wants like Italy."

[00:05:30]>> Yeah. I was like, "Oh, send me to Africa."

[00:05:32]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:05:34]>> Um Yeah. No, I was like really bummed, but it was like it was a good experience like for my life for sure.

[00:05:40]>> Um and then we got married after the missions and then he had applied to BYU Hawaii. So, that's what brought us out there to Aahu >> and then we just stayed.

[00:05:49]>> Wow.

[00:05:50]>> For a long time.

[00:05:50]>> Did you guys meet before or after your missions?

[00:05:52]>> Before.

[00:05:53]>> So, you stayed together while you both served. wrote letters for 2 years.

[00:05:58]>> Where did he serve?

[00:05:59]>> He was in England.

[00:06:00]>> Okay. So, he got I mean, that's legit.

[00:06:02]>> Yeah. Cool experience.

[00:06:03]>> Dang. Well, good for you guys, though, cuz that's really hard. People don't understand how isolating serving missions can be.

[00:06:08]>> Oh, yeah. That's why like I'm not really part of the church anymore, but if I see missionaries, I will always be nice to them cuz I'm just like >> they're just kids.

[00:06:15]>> And you miss your family and you don't have a lot of resources around you. And like for two year, well, females 18 months.

[00:06:22]>> Yeah. for 18 months to two years, you're like head down just serving your church.

[00:06:27]And >> I hate to say it, it's like the most depressing thing ever, but >> yeah. So, my best friend Scotty, he born and raised LDS. His dad was a bishop. He served a mission. And he said it was the most depressed he's ever been in his entire life.

[00:06:40]>> He was like, I had isolating.

[00:06:43]>> Yeah. That's so hard. I It's People don't understand though. It's pretty rare for a female to serve a mission.

[00:06:50]males. It's pretty expected, but I feel like a lot of females choose not to.

[00:06:56]>> Well, I was right. I don't know like how familiar you are with I mean, well, now you're on the show, so you're probably a little more familiar.

[00:07:04]Yeah.

[00:07:05]>> But like there was this really big announcement at that time. So, my husband got his mission call and then right after he got his call, there was this really big announcement that girls could go at 19. And so even though there wasn't like as much of like a religious expectation, there was a lot of social pressure of like, oh my gosh, girls can go now at 8 at 19. So like why wouldn't you go?

[00:07:24]>> And not that I felt really pressured, but it was like an exciting thing. And so I do feel like a lot of girls went out at that time.

[00:07:32]>> And maybe that slowed down since then, but yeah, >> there was a lot of sister missionaries, is what they're called, sent out at that time.

[00:07:39]>> Yeah.

[00:07:39]>> So >> what was your experience like serving that mission? Um, you know, I feel like it's interesting that you say like, "Oh, there's a lot more pressure for boys."

[00:07:49]And there is. And sometimes I look back, I'm like, "Why didn't I just go home?"

[00:07:52]Cuz there was no pressure for me. Like that's so funny to me that I stayed out.

[00:07:57]But it is just very hard. It's very isolating, but then sometimes I think like maybe I needed that. Like maybe that was the experience that >> I needed in my life to like be where I'm at. So it's hard to like regret that decision. But I would definitely say it was really hard. Um, but I feel like it also made me a really empathetic person because I don't know like people joke about like Utah or like Utah Mormons and stuff like that. And I think like going into these people's homes and interacting with them on a more personal level like I met so many incredible, kind, amazing people on my mission. And so I would say my experience was like overall a positive one even though it was really hard for sure.

[00:08:38]>> I also feel like where in Utah did you serve? Provo.

[00:08:42]>> So, I feel like that is even though you're like, "Oh, it's not some crazy cool country," you do have a lot of support because it's a he a heavy LDS community.

[00:08:51]>> Oh, people were nice to us. We always joke, me and my husband, cuz he was in England. We're like, we always got honked at, but for very different reasons. [laughter] >> Oh my gosh. Yeah.

[00:08:59]>> People in Utah are like missionaries.

[00:09:01]So, people loved us, which was awesome.

[00:09:03]But, >> um, yeah, like nicest, most wonderful people for sure.

[00:09:08]>> I'm glad. Yeah. I I will see missionaries every once in a while in my community. Like even in the parking lot, I'm like, "Hi, I hope you guys are doing well." Like it just cuz they do look like little kids, you know? They're so young. They're babies. And >> like having a son myself, I'm like, I cannot imagine >> when he graduates high school just being like, "Okay, bye. See you in 2 years."

[00:09:28]>> Yes. That is so real.

[00:09:30]>> But I also feel like it does mature you.

[00:09:33]It does kind of force you to grow up and learn to live on your own >> and teaches a lot of responsibility for when you come home like to the real world.

[00:09:41]>> Totally. And like I had to live with obviously other women that I didn't like choose. And so >> to me I'm like marriage feels so easy in that way of like I I picked this person and I really like them and I had to live with random people for 18 months that you didn't always >> get along with or had really crazy habits or >> I don't I feel like it was good practice for sure for living with another [clears throat] person.

[00:10:05]>> Definitely. And then you were in Aahu.

[00:10:07]>> Yeah.

[00:10:07]>> I love Aahu.

[00:10:09]>> I know. It's the best.

[00:10:10]>> It's the best. I'm actually going in August for a wedding and I'm so excited.

[00:10:14]It's >> I've been to Maui.

[00:10:17]>> It was a little too like touristy city.

[00:10:20]And then when two summers ago, Dave and I when we were in Arizona, we were like, "It is so hot.

[00:10:27]We want to just try to escape for the summer." And so we moved to Kauaii.

[00:10:31]>> Oh, fun.

[00:10:33]>> We loved it.

[00:10:34]>> We loved it. It was so rural and just, you know, dirt roads, chickens, like I feel like it forced my kids to get out in nature. We rented like the tiniest >> 1100 foot little townhouse and just like we're barefoot every day and it was magical.

[00:10:49]>> That's fun.

[00:10:50]>> But I also love Aahu. My sister's actually stationed there cuz she's in the Navy. Feel like for long term, Aahu is kind of best of both worlds because you get a little bit of that rural lifestyle, but you're like an hour from Costco.

[00:11:01]>> Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And you were there 11 years. What made you come back?

[00:11:06]>> Um, probably the biggest factor was like family. Um, but I feel like a huge thing that not a lot of people talk about is that I think that if you are not from there or you're not Polynesian that even though like we only had really positive experiences with locals, but as my kids got older and they were like in school, you definitely start to feel like a sense of like there's like a saying there that you're always a guest. And it's understandable like why um like historically that's a thing. But I guess there's you just get the sense that you will never like truly belong.

[00:11:46]>> And it's kind of like always outside looking in a little bit. And yeah, I like loved living on Aahu. It was so perfect for that phase of our our life.

[00:11:56]But now the phase that we're currently in, like California has already been just so amazing. Like I feel like my kids are thriving. Yeah.

[00:12:02]>> And being around family has been so fun, too. For sure. And when you have kids, everything changes in life where you're like, I need help. I need support. I need to be able to call my parents or, >> you know, go on a date.

[00:12:15]>> Priorities. I think totally.

[00:12:16]>> It's like I'm not going to be hiking and free diving and surfing like every day.

[00:12:20]Like the reality is when you have kids, you're like going to, you know, school drop off and like working and >> and realizing like, okay, like I think there's a place that maybe we could belong >> for sure better. So, >> yeah. It's interesting what you said about like the locals in Hawaii because I do feel that and I feel like if you spent a a long time there, you understand that, but it is very much like a it's a culture that in a land that they honor so much.

[00:12:47]>> Yes.

[00:12:47]>> And I love how sacred it is to them.

[00:12:50]>> It's like one of the most beautiful cultures in the world. I love it and I've like learned so much and I feel like >> Yeah. I wish more people saw that side of it. For sure.

[00:12:59]>> Yeah. I loved in Kauaii the turtles that would come to the shore >> and how protective the lifeguards were of them.

[00:13:07]>> But huge. Like I have photos of Stevie as a toddler [clears throat] next to these turtles and it's just insane.

[00:13:13]>> I swear they're bigger on Kawaii.

[00:13:14]>> Huge >> because Yeah. I feel like the biggest ones I've ever seen are there like taller than me.

[00:13:19]>> Yes. And you're you're just out swimming with your kids and they come right up to you and obviously like you don't want to touch them. For anyone that needs education, like do not touch them. But um it's really just such a magical place. It's so cool. When was the pivotal moment for you that you realized that social media could be a job for you?

[00:13:38]>> Um so, okay, so I kind of had like that little stint I told you about when I was like in high school and then >> Tumblr blog. Like for me it was always just like a fun thing. Like I feel like I've always been very expressive and I was a photographer and I liked posting my outfits. Um, and I would say around the time that we moved, um, after our missions out to Hawaii is when kind of like the mommy blogger era like really blew up. Um, like Amber Filler up, all the OG. Yes. Like I feel like that was such a fun era. And at the time I was more strictly a a photographer. Um, but I noticed that whenever I posted more my personal life, like I would post like my wedding photos and my family photos, but if I posted a picture from my personal life, it would like >> blow up so much more >> um on social media. And I started just getting like random brands reaching out and it kind of started more as like a photography thing of like, hey, we're going to send you swimsuits. Can you take pictures of these swimsuits? and I would just use my friends as models and and I think it really became like a leap of faith when so I actually did enroll for like half a semester at BYU Hawaii.

[00:14:50]That's why I say double time dropout um because I did ASU and BYU Hawaii but didn't finish either.

[00:14:55]>> And I had the opportunity to do like a photography brand trip out to Jordan, like the board of tourism in Jordan. so random.

[00:15:06]>> And that was like I think the turning point for me of realizing, okay, why am I in school in like this random class and my dream job is knocking at the door. And so I just dropped out and I went on that trip and like never looked back. And I was like, okay. And there's money in this and there's opportunities in this. And it was really fun and exciting.

[00:15:29]>> That's so cool. And you I feel like there's people that are school people and people that are not school people.

[00:15:33]You're a creative person.

[00:15:35]>> Yeah. I think like education can be so good. It's never going to hurt you to get an education.

[00:15:41]>> Um and maybe if I would have not gone on a mission, I would have just finished earlier. But I think that especially in these days with there's so many creative careers out there that you can get an education in other ways. For sure.

[00:15:57]>> Yeah. Yeah. I I always say pe no one can take my degree away from me and like I studied nursing and here I am like this is my job. So I didn't predict my life to go this way but I know my college education and studying nursing and having that experience shaped me to be who I am. It's kind of like you going on a mission like >> it forces you to learn to study and and not procrastinate and learn responsibility.

[00:16:20]>> Well and I'm sure that a lot of people were probably drawn to you because of your background in nursing. And that's how I started was like very small microcreator with medical influencing. Like that wasn't really a thing back then.

[00:16:32]>> I feel like my favorite people to follow are people with some kind of background.

[00:16:36]Like I feel like if someone has only ever been an influencer, like it kind of gets boring. Like I like when people have >> some lore.

[00:16:44]>> Yeah. You said that you would take photos of your friends in bathing suits for brands, but you created your own swim line. Yes.

[00:16:51]>> Yes. Um, we're kind of paused on that now. Okay. But it was a such a fun like dream project and it was really successful, but I just felt like when my daughter entered kindergarten and I got pregnant with my third, there's just this feeling of like I like almost don't care about that dream anymore. Like it's like your kids being little is so short.

[00:17:14]>> I know.

[00:17:15]>> Like my daughter entering kindergarten, I was just like, wait a second. Like you were just born and now you're like off in the world. M >> and I just had like that real like heart moment of okay I actually like don't really care about this that much anymore which is so sad to say but I just didn't >> and I just really wanted to be I mean I still work on social media but instead of juggling the two so much easier to be with my kids and be more present with them and like I was missing like Halloween block parties and things like that to go be on a photo shoot and I was like I just really want to be with my kids like that's my dream.

[00:17:51]>> Mhm.

[00:17:52]>> And maybe I'll pick something up when they're older and they like have their own friends and they're in school all the time.

[00:17:58]>> I feel like once you have a child enter school, it's a huge wakeup call because you're like, I will never get them home all the time, every day, >> forever. Like that's it. It's such a wild feeling. And for me, my youngest baby went to is going into kindergarten in the fall.

[00:18:18]>> Oh my gosh. And so it's like both my kids are gone all day. It's such a weird feeling >> and it it makes you so sad, but it's also very bittersweet because they love school and I have the opportunity to work while they're in school. So they don't miss me. Like they don't know that mommy's gone cuz they're busy with their friends.

[00:18:37]>> But it is a very strange feeling when you enter that phase of life.

[00:18:40]>> I feel like when you're in the trenches, you dream about the day that they're in school. I'm going to get so much done, have so much time to myself when they're school, and they go to school and you're like, wait a second.

[00:18:49]>> Yeah. Like, no, don't go.

[00:18:51]>> Like you said, very bittersweet.

[00:18:52]>> Mhm. Going back to the swim line, cuz I know you're on pause, but what inspired you to want to create your own line?

[00:18:59]>> Yeah. So, I like I said, I was doing a lot of brand photos. I worked with a lot of brands.

[00:19:06]And I feel like at that time, there's so many good swim brands now, but at that time, this was like probably 8 years ago. I just felt like there was nothing in between. It was like the cheekiest thing you've ever seen. No hate to that, but you know, I was a little Mormon girl. I like couldn't wear that. And then it was like so modest that I was like, "This is just unflattering on me at least."

[00:19:27]>> And I wanted something kind of in between. I didn't really like what I saw. And then I also just felt like, well, I'm taking a million pictures of girls in swimsuits anyway. like what if instead of promoting a swimsuit, I just promoted my own swimsuit. And I felt like I could make more money that way and it was like an artistic outlet like I drew all the prints and my husband like really leaned into his role of like supply chain and managing the business finance side of it. So it was a really really fun project and I feel very like satisfied with how everything went.

[00:19:58]>> That's so cool.

[00:19:59]>> And then what got you into transitioning to more arts and crafts? Yeah, it's so funny because I didn't ever think that it was something I was going to do. I was always such an artist growing up, but after having kids and also just so many other hobbies I feel like filled my life in my 20s, it just really fell on the back burner. And a couple years ago, I realized how disconnected I was from that part of myself. And like I feel like this is such a metaphor for motherhood. I remember being like in our tiny little apartment and we had a TV stand and I remember taking out like my one drawer I had of like art supplies and taking it out and putting like my daughter's coloring stuff in. I was like that is motherhood. [laughter] >> Yeah.

[00:20:45]>> You know, just really setting aside those things, especially while your kids are young.

[00:20:49]>> And as my kids started getting more independent, I was like >> I just really miss doing that. And I think like being really experienced with social media, I realized, well, if I film it, then that becomes an excuse to do it more. And I don't, you know, normally you wouldn't like hire a nanny to do a craft. Yeah.

[00:21:08]>> But I was like, well, if I hire a sitter like one day a week, then I could use that time to like film a craft or an art project. And it just really popped off.

[00:21:17]Like I think a lot of people really resonated with that. And I get so many DMs from moms all the time saying like, "You inspired me to like get back into my hobbies or like find myself after having kids." And I don't know, that's been the most rewarding part of it for sure.

[00:21:32]>> Yeah. What's your favorite kind of craft to do?

[00:21:34]>> I've been so into jewelry related things in the last year. Um to the point where I almost have stopped buying jewelry because I look at it, I'm like, I feel like I could make that.

[00:21:43]>> Yeah.

[00:21:44]>> And I'm not really good at like the wire and like anything with metal I'm like not that good at. I'm like, I'm a bead girl for sure, but >> you probably will see things you're like, I could make that but probably better cuz I would tweak this or do this different and save a lot of money by doing it yourself.

[00:21:59]>> Well, I don't know. That's the funny thing about getting into crafts. You'll be like, that necklace is like $100. I don't know. And then you spend $300 on supplies.

[00:22:07]>> Oh, really?

[00:22:08]>> And then you like break your back trying to, you know, make a necklace for seven hours and you're like, I probably should have just bought the $100 necklace. Good lesson to learn, you know, >> but you know, you get a few necklaces out of $300 supplies.

[00:22:18]>> That's so funny. Um, you've talked about ADHD and having ADHD. What age were you diagnosed?

[00:22:26]>> It would have been my daughter's six, so it would have been like 5 years ago.

[00:22:30]>> Oh, wow. So, as an adult, >> so I've ne I mean, I've never talked about I mean, I talk about it a little bit on the show, but my son was diagnosed.

[00:22:38]>> Oh, interesting. um amongst some other things last year and it was a huge transition for our family.

[00:22:46]>> There was a lot that came with it and a lot of education on you know having a neurode divergent child.

[00:22:55]>> Yeah.

[00:22:55]>> That really changed our lives. And I look back to when all of this happened and it felt like our world was kind of falling apart. And now if I could see where he is, >> it's just the most incredible thing. And I'm >> so grateful to have the resources that we do in the diagnosis that we had.

[00:23:17]>> Yeah.

[00:23:18]>> So talk about that experience. Like what made you want to get tested?

[00:23:23]>> Well, first of all, that's so awesome that you're like intervening while he's young because I just feel like >> you can set your kids up for so much more success just catching it young.

[00:23:33]even like if you choose not to medicate, like I feel like there's still so much you can do. Yes.

[00:23:37]>> Um for kids. But yeah, I actually did not go seeking an ADHD diagnosis at all.

[00:23:43]Um I I feel like I struggled off and on with my mental health like pretty much since puberty. Like I was always one of those people who would get really depressed like before my period. And um so I knew that I had like what I thought was depression probably for a long time.

[00:23:59]And then after my uh first daughter was born, she was born March 2020, so you can imagine that was a really >> gnarly year. And I felt like, oh, I have postpartum depression. The news just keeps getting worse every day.

[00:24:12]>> You're like, I can't leave my house.

[00:24:14]>> Yeah. I just felt so depressed. And I was like, yeah, I for sure have depression. And after like a year, I was like, I should talk to someone. Like, I feel like this is getting to the point where I can't really cope the way that I could before I had kids. like >> you can rot in bed all day if you don't have kids, but as soon as you have kids, you you have to take care of it. It really is motivation to be like, "Okay, I have to take care of myself and >> figure out what to do." So, >> I actually went to a therapist with the idea of like getting diagnosed with depression or just like doing something about it. And I consider myself kind of like a holistic person. Like I've always tried to be like, well, I'll fix it with like sleep and exercise and supplements.

[00:24:55]And I feel like I had been doing that for the better part of a decade with really not a lot of success. And after talking to a therapist, she was like, "Have you ever been tested for ADHD?"

[00:25:06]And I was like, "No, like that's not even on my radar." And she was like, "Yeah, after talking with you for an hour, I really think we should test for that."

[00:25:14]>> Wow. And um so she kind of like took me through that whole process and I walked away with the diagnosis and like so many things just clicked into place for me mentally of like oh like I think my depression stemmed from not treating my ADHD or I kind of went from I went from this mentality of something's wrong with me. I'm broken.

[00:25:38]Like I can't function as good as other people. like why are these like simple things so hard for me when they it seems like they're not hard for other people?

[00:25:46]And I went from that mentality to realizing, okay, I have a different brain and I have to just approach things differently and set up different systems and maybe give myself grace when, you know, I can accomplish one thing a day instead of like the 10 things everyone else is doing. And I actually didn't medicate or do anything for it for a couple years. But after my second, I really just hit a wall, I think, with like running two businesses and being busy as a mom that I was like, "Okay, I think I'm ready to like actually treat my ADHD." And that's when I went on meds for the first time. So, I cannot describe to you how life-changing that was to go on Vivance. It was like >> like I just cried to my husband. I was like, "Is this what a normal brain feels like?"

[00:26:30]And I remember like being so confused by people who would just be like, "Just wake up, write a to-do list, then do your to-do list." And I'm like, "You don't understand how much I can't do that." Like, "It feels like you're asking me to cut off my arm. I just can't do it." Like, no matter, even though I know it's possible to cut off my arm, I I can't.

[00:26:48]>> And that's how like simple things really felt to me.

[00:26:51]>> And as soon as I started taking meds, it was like, "Oh my gosh, yeah, like I can wake up and write a to-do list and finish my to-do list." And then I have enough energy to go be with my family and hang out with friends and do all this stuff at the end of the day.

[00:27:04]Whereas before it's like if I had a productive morning, it was like a crash.

[00:27:07]Like such a crash in the afternoon.

[00:27:10]>> So yeah, that was extremely life-changing for me. And >> I stopped taking it when I was pregnant.

[00:27:15]I know some people do still take like a small dose when they're pregnant, but I don't know. I think for me, I just feel a little like iffy.

[00:27:22]>> There's not like a ton of research on it. Um, but you know, when I get back on Vivian, it's game over.

[00:27:28]>> [laughter] >> Well, first of all, thank you for sharing because I think it's important for people to know because you associate ADHD with like young hyper kids, but people don't understand how it affects adults in so many different ways >> and I think it's important to talk about because >> it is a very consuming diagnosis because there's so much that goes into it and I've done so much research and education on it for my son >> and I just I don't know I again like I remember the day where We had all these tests done and my husband and I were like, "The world is already hard enough.

[00:28:03]The world is already hard enough in this day and age and now I feel like everything I felt like everything was against him and going to be even harder."

[00:28:12]>> Yeah.

[00:28:13]>> And all you want to do in life is to protect your children, you know? And so I'm so grateful to have the ability to get him the resources that he deserves.

[00:28:22]for people that might not want to take medication or they don't have that option. Do you have any tips for things that you did to help with your ADHD in your day-to-day life? Yeah, it's so hard because I do feel like the things that help are just so much easier said than done. Like I feel like my medication enabled me to do a lot of those habits like working out and eating healthy and getting good sleep. Mhm.

[00:28:47]>> But I would say if you were to start anywhere, it would be like get a brick for your phone probably. I think that a lot of people honestly might not even have ADHD, but are experiencing ADHD from their phones >> and it's shortterm content.

[00:29:01]>> Yes. Snapping our brains.

[00:29:04]>> It's it's the short form content has ruined um our brains and society because it's just a quick scroll for like a serotonin boost.

[00:29:12]>> Yeah. So, I think that like if you even suspect that you have ADHD, I think you have to get really serious about your phone use. I think that and like sleep would probably be the biggest things you could do that would improve >> your mental health for sure. That's probably true for everyone, but for sure ADHD people, it's like >> Yeah. Yeah. My best friend got me a brick for my birthday and it was life-changing and it was like the perfect gift cuz she knows especially when you work online. You know how it is like when you when social media is your job.

[00:29:41]>> Social media doesn't ever turn off. It's not a 9 to5 where like you clock in and out. It is a 24-hour 7 days a week allconsuming job if you let it.

[00:29:50]>> You have to be able to place those boundaries and it's really hard to do that >> and a brick forces you to and I love it.

[00:29:56]Well, I always had like a screen time limit, >> but I still found myself like, "Oh, I'm waiting in line. I'm at a red light."

[00:30:02]Like, whatever kind of thing. Like, you just like >> pop it up out of habit.

[00:30:06]>> And the brick like shuts that off completely. Like, it has been very like life-changing for me for sure.

[00:30:13]>> What was how did I'm just asking for the sake of, you know, what what we're experiencing as a family, but how did ADHD affect your sleep?

[00:30:21]>> I don't know. Oh, I always thought maybe this was me being creative and I don't know if this is like medically correct, but I do feel like ADHD people tend to be like, you know, you want that like dopamine fix at night. So, staying up late, being on your phone, even just I don't know, you're like really dopamine seeking at night. And so, I think just being really strict, like almost treating yourself like a toddler and being like, "No, bedtime is 10:00 >> and I'm going to wind down. I'm going to plug my phone into another room or brick it or whatever and I'm going to force myself to do like analog activities before I go to bed. Um I already forgot what you were asking.

[00:30:55]>> No, you're [laughter] like um I I I asked because my that's the hardest thing one of the hardest things for my son is falling asleep at night.

[00:31:03]>> It's really really hard for him to shut his brain off.

[00:31:06]>> I think that's like when I get the most creative ideas.

[00:31:09]>> Yeah.

[00:31:10]>> He almost It's not like a second wind.

[00:31:12]>> It's just like I can see that he's wired. Yeah.

[00:31:16]>> And when it's when he's 7 years old and it's 10:00 and he has school and I know he like I know he could fall asleep if he had the ability to but sometimes he just doesn't. So we have like our routine. We started giving him like herbal sleepy time tea before bed with some honey. He likes to make it himself.

[00:31:35]>> The other day he told me he goes he's so funny and witty. That's the thing is like his IQ is so high. He's such an intelligent child.

[00:31:45]>> It was just he wasn't able to access certain parts of his brain because of his ADHD. That's kind of how the neuroscychologist explained it to us.

[00:31:52]She was so incredible. But >> he um we have like a curig and David and I will put like our coffee pods in it, but he will use it for hot water to like pour his tea. Yeah.

[00:32:05]>> And the other day we were sitting on the couch and he goes to pour his tea before bed and he opens it up and he goes, "Someone forgot to take the coffee pot out. This is not my responsibility.

[00:32:14]>> Oh, you're sensing that.

[00:32:15]>> Seven years old.

[00:32:16]>> Wait, that's so funny.

[00:32:17]>> You know what, buddy? You're right.

[00:32:18]That's on me. Jake and I looked at each other. We're like, >> trouble. [laughter] >> I love that you're even like caring about that, though, because I feel like I grew up fully just thinking like, yeah, I'm rearranging my room at 3:00 a.m. because I'm that's my personality and I'm just something's wrong with me.

[00:32:32]Whereas now, I'm like, "Oh, that was probably the ADHD."

[00:32:36]>> But I think I struggled with that my whole life. like being so tired in the afternoon and then that second wind hits and just like I can't sleep.

[00:32:43]>> And he also gets very overstimulated and he >> now with all of the, you know, therapies and resources that we've been doing, he has a lot of self-recognition in that >> where he'll be like, "Mom, I need some quiet time." And he'll go to his room, close his door, and we have like cameras in there where we can, you know, monitor him cuz I'm like, "I don't really like you like going in your room at 7:00 and closing your door." And just will like sit and build Legos. the focus that he's able to have now and the recognition of being like, "Okay, this is a too too loud of an environment for me or like I don't I don't like being surrounded with all of this."

[00:33:16]>> I love that. I wish I would have had that as a kid.

[00:33:18]>> Yeah. And it's interesting because when we were going through this whole process, which really was a long like I mean it was almost like a full year long process of all of this. First of all, I had so much appreciation for having the ability to get him resources because a lot of this is not covered through insurance. Yeah. [snorts] >> And it makes me so sad for families that do want to help their children.

[00:33:48]>> Yeah. But with his school, they would always, you know, praise us for for going above and beyond to helping our child because I think a lot of parents might be in denial or don't want to come to terms that something could be not wrong with their child, but that they have challenges.

[00:34:04]>> They're just not educated. Like I think a lot of people think that ADHD is like a willpower problem or a personality trait um without realizing like no, it's it's the same as if you had a broken arm, you would get a cast. Like >> it really is like there's just something in your brain and it's not that you have to fix it. It's just you got to figure out those systems and set up those things >> that help them thrive.

[00:34:26]>> Yeah. And I do think that there are so many incredible resources out there now because >> even though there are a lot of negative sides of social media, I do think that there's a positive side when it comes to people being more outspoken about their mental health or diagnosis or experiences in that way >> where they can say like, "Oh, this is what helped me." if they're not able to go out and and get those resources.

[00:34:49]>> Totally. I've had so many moms reach out like and I haven't even shared I feel like that much about it, but I've had so many moms reach out that be like I really like resonated with what you shared about this and I like got a diagnosis and this has been life-changing. And they're like 35 years old.

[00:35:04]>> Yeah.

[00:35:04]>> It's like you went 35 years just thinking something was wrong with you.

[00:35:08]>> Wow. Well, good for you for using your voice and your platform because >> I mean obviously it's totally different, but >> if I wasn't able to help my son, he would be in your position as an adult and be so confused. And I feel like it's it's very overwhelming and it's so easy to >> like self-deprecate and like say, "What's wrong with me? Why am I like this?"

[00:35:28]>> You know, and there's so many studies that show like there's so many negative outcomes for people who don't treat their ADHD. And I'm not even talking about just medication, but just they don't ever they just think something's wrong with them and so they self-medicate or they seek dopamine in really destructive ways. And so I think it's so helpful to know like for sure in your childhood or adolescence.

[00:35:50]>> Yeah, definitely. We're going to do a complete 180.

[00:35:53]>> Okay.

[00:35:54]>> Because you grew up Mormon. Are you still part of the church?

[00:35:57]>> No, I'm not.

[00:35:58]>> No. When was that decision made? Um, so it happened around the time I was pregnant with my first and I don't even know if I would say it was a decision as much as like I feel like it just happened. But I'm really lucky that it happened to me and my husband at the same time.

[00:36:16]>> I think like a lot of couples are not so lucky.

[00:36:20]>> But we, like I said, we both served missions and I think there was a lot of things that we taught as missionaries.

[00:36:24]And you know, people would come up to us and say things like, "Your church believes this," or, "This is in your church history," or whatever. And we'd be like, "That's not real." Or, I don't know. I think that experience of being on a mission really in some ways is what led me out of the church because it taught me to really dive deep. It's kind of ironic that um that like the things you learn as a missionary can sometimes lead you out because it really did teach me to dive deep. Like I feel like I read like the scriptures so much and I really dove deep into all the different doctrines.

[00:36:59]And then when I was I think I must have been about 25 years old. Um there was these they're called essays.

[00:37:08]They were released on like the church's website and it was basically the church kind of admitting to a lot of like things that people have had accused them of and they kind of came out and said, "Oh well that is true but this is why."

[00:37:20]And it just like rocked my world of just, oh my gosh, like I spent two years like lying to people because now you're saying that this is true and it wasn't.

[00:37:29]And I feel like that just opened up this whole can of worms. And me and my husband both, he dove a lot deeper than me, I think. And I think he felt a lot more like anger. I personally felt a lot more like a relief almost. I think that like I had spent so many years trying to like do these mental gymnastics to like fit things in a box because like for example like I was always really supportive of like my um like gay friends or like gay marriage like things like that. I just always felt like well I don't like really agree with the church on that.

[00:38:02]And I feel like when I realized for myself that I didn't think the church was true anymore, I felt such a sense of relief of like, oh, I don't have to like make things fit in a box anymore. I can just like believe what I believe and have like my own values and kind of embark on this exciting journey to figure out like, well, what do I believe? And yeah, so that was kind of the journey out of that. And I feel like my experience was always more like a journey of freedom and exploratory and it was like really excitement, really exciting even though it was scary >> to leave everything I've ever known. Um, and for my husband it was probably a little more angry and sad at first, but then he reached that point eventually.

[00:38:50]Mhm. I love how you described it as like your journey to freedom because I do feel like when you grow up in a church environment like that, you it's very easy to get tunnel vision and not look outside of your own religion and like what other people have experienced. And I've I've said this to so many people, but >> you know, I spent a lot of my childhood in Northern California, St. Lucispo.

[00:39:17]That's what I always say like is my hometown because that feels like home to me.

[00:39:20]>> But then obviously moved to Mesa pretty young and then we moved back to California when we first got married.

[00:39:29]>> But when I first moved to Mesa, I thought Mormon when people were saying I'm Mormon or the Mormons, whatever, I thought it was like a club I wasn't a part of. I had never even heard of the religion. And I always tell people, unless you're in that very small bubble, which I would consider Utah, a little bit of Idaho, Arizona, Orange County, >> people don't know anything about the Mormon church.

[00:39:55]>> They think we're like Amish.

[00:39:56]>> Yes. Like they're they have no idea. And in in my job, in this industry, I've met so many friends from all over the nation. And like especially my East Coast friends are like >> Mormon like what? Like what is that?

[00:40:10]They think it's like, you know, polygamy and FLDS and all these crazy things. And I think it's we have such a different perspective because that is kind of like all consuming of what the community is and there's not a lot of other culture or religion that >> we are introduced to living in that type of environment.

[00:40:32]>> Yeah. Well, and I always feel like when I was in the church, I would listen to other people's views on religion or just whatever spirituality, the afterlife, and it it would always be kind of like, "Oh, that's nice. That's cute that you believe that, >> but like I have the truth." Like that's like what we're taught. It's like, "Oh, I have the truth."

[00:40:50]>> And it's so much like mental freedom to be able to >> like talk to anyone and be like, >> "You believe in reincarnation? Like, that's so cool. Tell me more." Like I just feel so much more open-minded and like why couldn't that be a possibility, you know? Like it's very exciting and fun because I feel like my my brain was shut out to anything like that for so long that it's >> I don't know. I think sometimes people who maybe not just who are Mormon but in any kind of more like high demand religion think that like oh it would be so scary to not know or to not have the answers. But I find the opposite. But I think it's very exciting to not have the answers because >> I don't know, anything could be possible.

[00:41:32]>> That's cool.

[00:41:34]How did your family take it?

[00:41:37]>> That was really hard.

[00:41:38]>> Mhm.

[00:41:39]>> So, yeah, they definitely they probably still struggle with it, but they're very sweet and and it I have a lot of empathy for them because I just think like they truly, you know, people who are LDS like truly believe like if you leave then like you won't be in heaven with me and that's really sad for them.

[00:41:55]>> So, I have a lot of empathy for that.

[00:41:57]Um, and as long as people are like respectful, then >> yeah, >> it's okay. I have a lot of like love for all the people in my life who are still part of the church because at the end of the day, like they're still my people.

[00:42:09]Like Mormons are still my people.

[00:42:11]>> Yeah. Yeah. I think for people that don't know in the Mormon church, they believe when you pass away, you're you live in eternity with your family in heaven forever. So, you know, I what you said was very interesting about when you served a mission, that was kind of what solidified that decision for you. A lot of my friends that have left the LDS church, it was after they got home from their mission.

[00:42:35]>> Yeah.

[00:42:35]>> So, they did, you know, plan to commit their life to the church and they served their mission and they got home and they realized that wasn't the path they wanted to take.

[00:42:43]>> But the reason I asked about the family is because that was the hardest part for them >> was having to tell their family because they were so devastated. Yeah, >> because if if I was in that position, I would also be sad if like, oh, my kids won't be with me, you know, for eternity.

[00:42:58]>> Yeah, totally. It's understandable.

[00:42:59]>> Yeah. But I think when you see different parts of the world, that's when you start to question like, well, is this the truth? I don't know.

[00:43:07]>> Uh yeah. And and I feel like even just living on Aahu in such a different I mean there are a lot of LDS people in the area we lived in but also there were so many different types of people and just really opens your mind to to realize like oh I don't like believe that all these people are bad or wrong >> like I don't know your mind can't like hold those things at the same time of like >> I don't know what I'm trying to say but >> yeah no I get it.

[00:43:33]>> Okay going back to this baby. So you have two girls at home. Yeah.

[00:43:36]>> This is a boy. Mhm.

[00:43:37]>> Are you doing anything differently to prepare for this baby?

[00:43:41]>> Um I I feel like I'm doing nothing to prepare for this baby. Third time mom.

[00:43:46]>> I've done it three times. [laughter] >> Well, yeah. No, I had the realization the other day. I was like, I don't have a car seat or a bed or anything for this baby, but I'll get it together.

[00:43:56]>> You will. You will.

[00:43:57]>> I also think >> once you have one, >> you like go so overboard and overprepare and then the baby comes and you're like, I would never use that. That's so impractical. Like I always tell my friends, I'm like, >> "You buying button onesies make me laugh. Don't [laughter] make me laugh.

[00:44:13]You will never use it. Try doing a 2 a.m. diaper change and having 50 buttons." You're like, "Oh my gosh, I can't see anything." I'm like, "Get the night gown thing or get the zip swaddles. That's all you need."

[00:44:25]>> And it's when you have more than one then then you know like >> this is what I need. I need like a solid 10 items >> and you're good. like you know the essentials to survive.

[00:44:37]>> I know. And this is like not this is not to be mean at all to first-time moms.

[00:44:42]It's like actually very endearing, but sometimes I'll come across a TikTok and it's like here's everything we brought to the beach for our fourmonth-old. And it's like they've got like tent and like all this stuff and I'm just like >> oh my gosh, I remember feeling that way.

[00:44:54]Like I got to bring my entire house to the beach. And now I'm like this baby's going to have will be lucky if he has an umbrella.

[00:45:00]>> Yep. He'll be happy in the sand. I feel the same when I see moms pack their hospital bags, but I was the same. And mine was packed at like 18 weeks. I'm like, I'm good.

[00:45:09]>> Yeah, just in case.

[00:45:10]>> Babe, you got 6 months to go. Like, what is going on?

[00:45:15]>> I've been coming across those videos lately and I'm like, I should probably jump on that. Like, as an influencer, that's like my job. I need to like post one of those videos. And I'm like, what's in my hospital bag? I'm like, a water bottle.

[00:45:25]>> Yeah. But I always tell people, too. I'm like, they also have it for you. Like there's so many supplies at the hospital that they will make sure you're taken care of. So sometimes it's okay. And especially like sometimes, you know, poor moms, they go into labor early and they're completely unprepared cuz they don't expect to not go to 40 weeks.

[00:45:42]Totally.

[00:45:43]>> And I'm like, don't worry, the hospital will have everything. You'll be okay.

[00:45:46]>> And also it, like I said, it's very like endearing like when I see first time moms stuff like that cuz I'm just like, "Yeah, I they care so much and they're so excited." Like I was so excited. Oh my gosh. You don't have other kids, so really you have a lot of time that's just occupied by like thinking about your pregnancy.

[00:46:01]>> Totally.

[00:46:02]>> And this time around, I'm like, I don't even have time to think about this pregnancy.

[00:46:06]>> Yeah. How are your labors with your daughters?

[00:46:08]>> Um, they were good. It's so funny. I feel like positive feelings towards my first birth, but my husband like kind of doesn't.

[00:46:15]>> Oh, really?

[00:46:15]>> Well, cuz she ended up like in the not the NICU. They didn't have a NICU at this hospital. It was like a nursery.

[00:46:21]>> Okay. But I don't know if I was just in La La Land, but I was just like, "Everything's fine. It'll be fine." And he was like >> freaking out, >> panicking cuz she like couldn't get oxygen and they couldn't get like an IV in her and all this stuff was happening.

[00:46:33]And I think I was just in bed like coming off my epidural just like that was awesome. And he's like in the nursery like, "Oh my gosh, she's going to die."

[00:46:40]>> But no, I I labored for so long with my first like it was like two days.

[00:46:45]>> That's how I was with Ziggy. 43 hours.

[00:46:48]>> And it was 3 weeks early. I had gestational diabetes. So she was kind of big.

[00:46:52]>> You had gestational diab I actually like I wasn't one of those people who's like I have to go unmedicated but I was kind of just like if I can do it I can do it I guess. And I like literally made it to like 9 cm like fully unmedicated. But at that point I just like started like passing out. Like I hadn't slept I hadn't eaten anything. And my doctor was like you know if you get an epidural you can take a nap. And I was like give it to me.

[00:47:19]>> Yeah. took a nap, woke up ready to push.

[00:47:21]Like, it was so fun. Yep. I loved birth.

[00:47:24]I like hate being pregnant, but I could give birth like a hundred times.

[00:47:27]>> That high is like nothing I've ever felt before. It's the greatest thing in the world. I was just telling some of the girls on my cast cuz a couple of them are pregnant and we were talking about C-sections and I'm like a morbid person like I have the clear drape cuz I want >> Do you have C-section for both? Yeah.

[00:47:44]Okay.

[00:47:44]>> So, my son I labored for 43 hours unmedicated. [laughter] I was like, "No, I can do it."

[00:47:49]>> You just got the worst of both worlds, actually.

[00:47:51]>> No, literally. And I was like, I not I don't want to say I wasted two days, but like, oh my god, [laughter] for two days of excruciating pain again, no sleep, couldn't eat. Like that is an exhaustion like nothing I've ever felt before. And like when you feel that contraction starting like that wave, you're like, "No, [laughter] >> no, here we go."

[00:48:07]>> Nothing prepares you for that.

[00:48:09]>> No, it's [clears throat] wild. But I only dilated to a two 43 hours and two cervical foy balloons. They said because when you're unmedicated, you're like clenching down because you're in so much pain that your cervix can't relax and dilate.

[00:48:25]>> So then anyways, he ended up going braid cardartic. So his heart rate dropped to like 50, which is really low for a baby.

[00:48:31]And so it was emergency C-section.

[00:48:33]Anyways, so when Stevie came along, I was like elective C-section. Yes. I was like, >> you like show up at 8:00 a.m. ready to go.

[00:48:39]>> It was the greatest. I tell people I walked into the O. I was breastfeeding her 9 minutes later. That's how fast it was.

[00:48:47]>> That's kind of crazy actually.

[00:48:48]>> Yeah, it was amazing. But I did the clear drape.

[00:48:52]>> So after I was already cut and her like their heads were coming out, the anesthesiologist like pulled down the blue drape so I could see them being born.

[00:48:59]>> That's such a nurse thing. I could never >> I know. I [laughter] barf I was telling the girls that on my cast and they were like, "What? You're weird." And I was like, "No, [laughter] I wanted to see."

[00:49:08]And then like David >> I like want to faint looking at the IV in my own arm. So >> see I'm like oh that was one thing and that's so it's so hard when you work in like you've worked in medical. I have the juiciest veins. Like it is so easy to get a a stick in me but my was it my second baby? I can't remember which baby it was. But the there was a new grad being trained.

[00:49:32]>> She missed my IV like five times in my hand. And I was like I will literally do it myself at this point. like it's I just wanted in and I could do it too, but I I didn't. But anyways, David got a really cool video because of the clear drape.

[00:49:43]>> Oh, that's cool.

[00:49:44]>> So, I was like, "All right." And then the girls looked at me like I was insane. They're like, "I don't want to see that." No.

[00:49:49]>> Yeah. I don't think I could do that personally. But >> yeah.

[00:49:52]>> Yeah. I feel like my second, even though I didn't have a C-section, my second labor was similar to that in the sense that I decided to get induced and it was already 5 centimeters. So, I think that helped a little, but it was like a night and day difference. like walked I have full night's sleep, nice breakfast, walked in at 8:00 a.m., baby's born a few hours later, >> just like the doctor was like, "I'm going to break your water to get started." I was like, "Can I get the epidural before that?" [laughter] >> Like, please.

[00:50:17]>> Yeah. When they start like, not to be gross, but like shoving stuff up there like I'm talking like a hand. It's crazy.

[00:50:24]>> That happened with my first like cuz I labored so long and my water was like leaking but hadn't fully broken.

[00:50:29]>> She just like, sorry for the graphic image, but just stuck her hand straight at me. Yep.

[00:50:34]>> The worst pain of my entire life.

[00:50:37]>> That's how I felt with the Foley balloons.

[00:50:39]>> Yeah.

[00:50:39]>> When they were trying to dilate me, >> I just remember her like >> I was like, how far like I just remember like tears streaming down my face. I was like, this is so painful.

[00:50:49]>> It's so gnarly. And then I feel like we treat birth way too casual because I feel like after I gave birth, I'm walking around looking at all these moms. I'm like, >> you did this.

[00:50:57]>> Yeah. Like every mom ever has done something so gnarly.

[00:51:03]>> Isn't that crazy?

[00:51:04]>> Yes. And we just walk around like, "Yeah, go to work four weeks later."

[00:51:07]>> Moms deserve >> so much more, honestly. And like why do we need a period in addition? Like really, we're really suffering. Everyone in this room is like, "I'm never having children."

[00:51:17]>> I know. [laughter] But also, somehow it's the most amazing thing in the world.

[00:51:20]>> And you're doing it for a third time. So clearly there's like I feel like there's got to be like actually a chemical in your brain that makes you forget >> there is >> cuz I haven't forgotten but I also like >> you just stop caring.

[00:51:32]>> It's it's far enough.

[00:51:34]>> It's far enough remove that you're like I could do it again you know.

[00:51:37]>> Yeah.

[00:51:38]>> Okay. We like to end with rapid fire.

[00:51:40]Are you ready?

[00:51:41]>> Okay. What's your favorite thing to do with your kids right now?

[00:51:45]>> Um definitely arts and crafts.

[00:51:46]>> Cute. Sweet or salty snack?

[00:51:50]Normally I'm a sweet, but this pregnancy I'm a salty.

[00:51:52]>> What's like your go-to snack?

[00:51:54]>> Um, I recently discovered like these.

[00:51:58]They're not potato. They're not pickle flavored potato chips. They're pickle chips. They're like actually cucumbers at Costco.

[00:52:05]>> They're so good.

[00:52:06]>> Oh, I've been on a pickle kick lately.

[00:52:08]>> Yeah, you would like these. They're like made out of an actual cucumber.

[00:52:11]>> I'm like I want to sprinkle on like a burger bowl or something. That would be good. Yeah. So, that's >> um I love a good burger bowl and I love Costco. I've been having David make pickle martinis.

[00:52:22]>> Yeah, for those that drink alcohol.

[00:52:23]Pickle martinis.

[00:52:24]>> We'll have to try that in a few months.

[00:52:26]>> Yes. Yes. I'll make it for you. Ultimate comfort show.

[00:52:29]>> Probably like parks and wreck.

[00:52:30]>> Oh my god. Did you see The Office?

[00:52:33]>> Yes.

[00:52:33]>> Okay. We've watched The Office like six times. And I got Stevie um an a kids like illustration book called Dunder Mifflin Elementary.

[00:52:43]>> Oh my gosh. Cute.

[00:52:43]>> But I saw on the back of the book, I was reading a tour last night. I saw on the back they have a parks and wreck one.

[00:52:47]Oh, cute.

[00:52:48]>> So, I was just telling her I wanted to buy it. That's so funny.

[00:52:49]>> Do you like spooky things?

[00:52:51]>> Love.

[00:52:51]>> Okay. Have you watched Widow's Bay?

[00:52:53]>> No.

[00:52:53]>> It's the writers of Parks and Wreck made a scary show.

[00:52:58]>> What?

[00:52:58]>> It is like one of the best shows I've ever watched.

[00:52:59]>> What network?

[00:53:00]>> It's on Apple TV.

[00:53:01]>> Oh my gosh.

[00:53:02]>> And the first season just finished. It is so funny. They do such a good balance of like you're lowkey scared and then you're crying laughing.

[00:53:09]>> Oh my gosh. I'm going to tell my husband we have to watch that. Amazing. Beach day or pool day?

[00:53:14]>> Beach day.

[00:53:15]>> Always. Iced or hot coffee?

[00:53:17]>> Iced.

[00:53:19]>> Dream vacation spot?

[00:53:21]>> Probably like Mayorca or Tahiti.

[00:53:24]>> Oh, unique choices.

[00:53:26]>> Yeah, I've been to both.

[00:53:28]>> Oh, >> and I love them both.

[00:53:29]>> For what reasons? I'm curious.

[00:53:31]>> Like, why did I go?

[00:53:32]>> Yeah. I don't know why I like it.

[00:53:34]>> Why do you like them?

[00:53:34]>> Um, well, kind of cool. My mom's not I know it's supposed to be rapid fire. My mom's my mom's side of the family is from the island of Menorca. It's like next to Morca. So, I just think that like Mediterranean, like the food is just like such a fun vibe. The food's a little better on Mayor Yorkca, though.

[00:53:51]>> Um, and then Tahiti is just like >> it's like Hawaii on crack. Like just >> really >> so much wildlife, like whales and the water's the blest you've ever seen. So, I'm dying to go back.

[00:54:03]>> Okay, I'm going to book a trip.

[00:54:04]>> Yeah.

[00:54:04]>> Wow. So cool. Usually everyone's like, you know, Greece and one app you delete forever if you could. Gosh, I don't know.

[00:54:15]>> I would say Tik Tok.

[00:54:16]>> Yeah, >> I think Tik Tok >> probably Tik Tok over Instagram.

[00:54:19]>> I like Instagram because I feel like there's a great balance where you can see what your friends are doing, but you don't have to see like a for you page.

[00:54:28]Like you don't have to go on the explore page.

[00:54:30]>> Well, also, I don't know if you feel this, but I feel like Tik Tok is like if I'm I used to scroll Tik Tok as like like me and my husband would scroll together and be like, I give me something funny. I want to laugh. Yes.

[00:54:40]>> That I have not laughed at Tik Tok in two years. No.

[00:54:43]>> And honestly, I hate to say it, but reals are funny now.

[00:54:46]>> Yes. Yes. And they were so cringey.

[00:54:48]>> Like I'll scroll with my husband and we are like tears over like that. I'm like I don't know if that's just because like I mean maybe that makes me old. I don't know. I have not laughed at a Tik Tok in so long.

[00:54:58]>> I downloaded Tik [clears throat] Tok in 2019 when I was working in the ICU during the pandemic because it let me separate like my brain. It gave me something to laugh at. It was quick videos that were so funny. It was almost like Vine.

[00:55:11]>> Yeah. Exactly.

[00:55:12]>> And Instagram, when Instagram reals rolled out, it was so cringe. I was like, "What is this?" Tik Tok has become like a gossip platform >> and like a way to like be really mean to people >> or like essays. Like people are just saying like their essays and their thoughts about things which like sometimes I can get into, but I'm like I just want to laugh.

[00:55:30]>> I totally agree. But reals have come a long way.

[00:55:32]>> Yeah.

[00:55:33]>> Because sometimes like I don't scroll on TikTok, but if I'm like I want to do like a funny video or whatever, I'll look on reals.

[00:55:39]>> Yeah. Yeah, because I feel like there's such funny things on there.

[00:55:42]>> I will literally scroll with my husband as entertainment on reals because we will just come across the funniest videos.

[00:55:48]>> I'm glad we're on the same page. We never seen each other.

[00:55:50]>> So, probably delete TikTok.

[00:55:51]>> Okay, same. I'm like >> then I wouldn't like that's one less job I have to do.

[00:55:55]>> Yeah, I know. I know. It's also hard to keep up like all these young kids.

[00:55:58][laughter] >> Um, well, you are amazing. I'm I'm so grateful that you are here. I wish you luck in your birth. It's coming so soon.

[00:56:06]Do you have a name picked out?

[00:56:07]>> Yeah.

[00:56:08]>> You don't have to tell me. I can tell you. It's okay.

[00:56:10]>> Tell me.

[00:56:10]>> Um, we like the name.

[00:56:13]>> I love that name.

[00:56:14]>> Well, I loved the name River.

[00:56:17]>> I know four little boys named River. And that's fine. I don't need to be like the most unique person ever, but I was like, I know a lot of rivers. And actually, a follower commented on like a video I made about baby names. And I was like, >> I like that.

[00:56:29]>> It's very like mountain nature, but I think that's like very you your personality.

[00:56:33]>> It sounds like river without being river. So, I'm happy for you. Well, thank you for being here. Where can everyone find you?

[00:56:40]>> Um, HB Goodie is >> HB Goodie. [laughter] >> It's a name I picked out 12 years ago and it's >> so cute. Well, it was so nice to finally meet you and sit down.

[00:56:50]>> And I wish you luck on this. Thank you.

[00:56:52]>> You have to let me know if you're down in San Diego County anytime.

[00:56:55]>> Always.