The side of me I need to tell you all about.

[00:00:00]Hello, and welcome to Paul's Shed Talk.

[00:00:02]If you've not been here before, my name is Paul. I'm just a bloke in his shed, and I talk about different subjects.

[00:00:10]So, today's subject is it's me. I'm the subject today. So, I'm going to be completely honest cuz there's a side of me you just don't know, and I don't put it in front of the camera.

[00:00:25]Anyway, so let's get straight into it.

[00:00:34]>> [music] [bell] >> Right, so where do I start with this one? I have no idea.

[00:00:43]Best place is to start at the beginning, so that's what I'm going to do.

[00:00:46]So, I'm going to talk about me in this video.

[00:00:49]Now, I haven't lied about myself. I haven't um deceived anyone, but there's part of me that none of the viewers know. In fact, not many people know about me.

[00:01:02]And it's the fact that the person you see on the screen, I hope I come over quite confident. That's what I'm trying to do.

[00:01:10]Sometimes isn't the person you get in real life. I suffer from nerves so badly, it makes me ill.

[00:01:17]I suffer from anxiety.

[00:01:20]And I know some people think that sort of thing isn't real, but I do. I suffer from anxiety in life all the time.

[00:01:28]So, I'm going to tell you a few examples of how it has affected me.

[00:01:33]Um how it affects me doing this.

[00:01:36]And I just thought I'd be open and honest and cuz I there must be other people out there that suffer like me. In fact, I know there is because Donna at work suffers from anxiety a lot, and she can be trembling some days, and it's just she's just that way out. And that's how I am sometimes.

[00:01:53]So, let's start with a I'll start with a recent um I've not wrote anything down I've got not got any pointers for this so I'm just going to ramble. No, I'm just going to I'm just being honest I'm just going to say what I feel out my head.

[00:02:09]So more recently let's say what can I use as an example?

[00:02:16]So I've told you that I've got a we got a puppy recently a little chip little cookie.

[00:02:22]And that the day we went to get her was a great example.

[00:02:28]So we had said we'd had her and the day it came where we could go and get her.

[00:02:33]And the night before I am excited obviously but I am worrying about it so much I'm worrying about what if we get there and it's a fake what if what if the puppies are up you know there's all kinds of things going through my head.

[00:02:47]So I didn't get much sleep that that that night.

[00:02:50]And then the day we went to get her I get in the car and what have I got I've got a headache because I'm worrying.

[00:02:56]I get a lot of anxiety stress headaches.

[00:03:02]So I had a headache we got in the car and it started making me feel sick.

[00:03:05]Anyway I'm rambling.

[00:03:08]We picked her up on the way home it was I held her all the way home and Steve drove and I just felt so sick I'd I'd actually worried myself that much I'd it made me ill and that happens a lot.

[00:03:23]So what other example can I use?

[00:03:29]I'm a furniture salesperson I've talked about that a bit. So in the furniture retail I've got to be talking to customers I've got to walk around the shop try and help them and so on.

[00:03:41]And some days I just don't feel like it I've some days I just get anxious that much I don't want to interact with people and that's hard when that is your job that's what you there to do.

[00:03:54]So, I go in some days and I'm I'll just sit there and I think I don't want to speak to them. I just want to sit on my own.

[00:04:01]But, you can't do that because my job is to get up and speak. So, yeah, it does affect my job sometimes.

[00:04:08]I've learned over the years I'm very good at faking how I'm feeling. So, if I am that way out, I can sometimes not show it.

[00:04:19]Another good example is it was quite a few years ago. I was going to visit my parents in Cumbria.

[00:04:25]Um so, that was booked. And again, I worried the night before. And what I'm worrying about is will we get there on time?

[00:04:34]Um will we see this We've got to go and see this person. We've got to go and see that person. We've got to be at this place at a certain time.

[00:04:42]And that just freak freaked me out. And by the time we got there, I had such a bad migraine, I missed the first day of the holiday because I just spent it in bed.

[00:04:53]And it physically made me sick. It made me actually sick. I couldn't get out of bed.

[00:04:59]And that's I'm worrying myself into a frenzy and I don't know why.

[00:05:04]Another thing I've got is I've got time anxiety. And I know you might laugh at that or find it a bit funny.

[00:05:11]But, I'm one of those people that has to be I can't even be just on time. I have to be early. I have to be at least 5 or 10 minutes early for anything.

[00:05:20]So, I've worked at my job nearly 10 years and I've never been late. I always get there sometimes 20 minutes, 15 minutes early every time because I just I can't leave it. I don't know.

[00:05:33]If I've got an appointment like the day of filming this, I took the dog to the groomers.

[00:05:39]And it was at um 9:15 in the morning.

[00:05:44]It's literally a 10-minute drive away.

[00:05:47]So, I didn't need to set off till 9:00, but I set off at 8:30 and I sat there for 25 minutes. I was 25 minutes early.

[00:05:56]I do struggle with time. I just and say me and Steve are going out and it's say we've got going out for a meal and the table's booked for 7:30, I'm a mess because I have to be there at 7:30.

[00:06:09]Steve's more relaxed.

[00:06:11]So, I'm always like chasing like, "Come on, we need to set off. We need to set off." and uh I'm I annoy myself with it. It It's crazy.

[00:06:20]And then it got me to thinking. So, you're watching this, you watch I watch other YouTubers, I see them on screen, they look really confident, they know what they're doing.

[00:06:30]Are they like that when the camera gets switched off? Cuz I bet they do worry like me. I bet they panic.

[00:06:37]I don't know. It might just be me. It was not me cuz it's Dawn as well at work.

[00:06:42]Anyway, I've totally I know I have rambled the whole way through this, but I kind of don't care. You seem to like it and it's just my way of getting my words out and expressing myself.

[00:06:54]So, I will wrap this up. I will ask for feedback on this one. Let me know if you suffer from anxiety or if you're the same. That would be great to find that out.

[00:07:06]I will ask for I've got it wrote me board some subscribers. I really appreciate the amount of subscribers I'm getting.

[00:07:14]So, yeah, if you want to like, subscribe, and comment, it really makes a difference and I'm loving all the interaction I'm getting with you.

[00:07:22]So, let's bring it to an end. So, thank you very much for watching this one.

[00:07:29]If you've liked this one, um please give it a thumbs up and a like and a subscribe and ding the bell and everything. Everything Everything you can do. That was a bit dramatic.

[00:07:41]And I will see you on the next one. So, thank you very much for watching and take care. Thank you. Bye.

[00:07:49]>> [music] >> As I just don't feel that way. I don't feel like I can do it.

[00:08:04]>> [sighs] >> The plumber is here to come into me shed.

[00:08:07]I'll do this again cuz the plumber is here.

[00:08:12]Oh my god.

[00:08:14]What a waffle waffle waffle.

[00:08:19]waffle Bird's Eye potato waffles.

[00:08:28]waffle universal tile I can hear the dog.

[00:08:40]Dog, I can hear the dog.

[00:08:49]false alarm Hello and welcome to Paul's Shed Talk.

[00:09:13]>> [clears throat and cough] >> Take two.

[00:09:22]Hello and welcome to Paul's Shed Talk.

[00:09:30]Hello and welcome to Paul's Shed Talk.

[00:09:32]If you've been a >> Hello and welcome back to Paul's Shed Talk.

[00:09:46]But if you've not been here before, my name's Paul. This is my shed and I talk about different subjects. I ask for lots of interaction, lots of comments and that was God.

[00:10:05]Can't do it.