The Fastest Way to Break Free from Limiting Beliefs with Shelly Lefkoe

[00:00:00]underneath these [music] patterns, it's going to be very difficult to apply [music] the wonderful things that people teach you. So if you want to know why, well, I do everything they said. But what's the belief? So [music] if you believe water is boiling, you're not going to put your hand in it. If you believe something is poison, you're not going to drink it.

[00:00:24]Our beliefs [music] determine our behavior, our emotions, and ultimately our reality.

[00:00:33]So people who believe life is hard have hard lives.

[00:00:37][music] [music] >> [music] >> living in the miracle zone.

[00:00:59]>> You are not meant to struggle. You are meant to live in the miracle zone. I'm Marcy Shyoff. I'm a number one New York Times bestselling author and the founder of Your Year of Miracles. [music] And after decades of exploring the true source of happiness and success, I have found one thing [music] and that is when you align with the energy of miracles, life flows with joy and grace. So, welcome to living in the miracle zone.

[00:01:26]And today is a special day. And it's a special day because I get to be here with one of my dearest friends, Shelley Lefco. Hi, Shelly.

[00:01:35]>> Hi, Marcy. So fun to get to do this with you and we always have a blast together.

[00:01:41]So I know today will be that and and also very revealing. Um I'm loving what we're going to get to talk about. So let me tell everybody a little bit about you. Shelley is the co-founder of the Lefco Institute where she has helped thousands of people eliminate the limiting beliefs that fuel anxiety and self-doubt and [music] procrastination and all that stuff that's holding you back. And for more than 30 years, she has been helping [music] people through a powerful belief elimination process that creates deep and lasting change.

[00:02:13][music] And I can absolutely attest to this for sure. Shelley also is the co-author of Hitting the Wall: Eliminate Beliefs That Sabotage Your Business and Your Life, which helps [music] you dissolve unconscious patterns that block success. And she really helps people.

[00:02:32]>> [music] >> I've seen her do this with just so many so many of the people in my programs she's [music] worked with and I know for you know years she always gets to tell me what she's been [music] doing every every day and I get to hear how she helps people really break free [music] from their old limitations and live lives that are in the miracle zone that are beyond what they had thought was possible. [music] And I also know Shelley because she's as I said a dear friend, a soul [music] sister. We've been in the same women's group for I don't know almost 20 years.

[00:03:04]>> Almost 20 years. Yeah.

[00:03:05]>> Yeah. And so we're both in the transformational leadership council together. And she is my puppy Leela's favorite auntie and godmother. So she she lives nearby and she comes and takes care of Leela whenever whenever whenever there's a a chance. So >> Shel, I love you and thank you for coming here. And I I want to start as I do all of these sessions with how is it that you came to live a miraculous life?

[00:03:32]What was your life before that? And how how did it shift?

[00:03:35]>> Yeah. Um I was really lucky you know I had a lovely childhood and um I was very very very blessed and um life was good and then I met my late husband >> and um he uh created this process that that I'd been doing for as you said over 35 years and um when I started doing it on myself. One of the beliefs that I got rid of was what makes me good enough is having other people think well of me.

[00:04:18]And I it ran my life. So every time I walked away from somebody, I would say, "Do they like me? Did I say the right thing? Did I do the right thing?" You know? Um, and when I got rid of that belief, and it it isn't that like I don't care what people think. I may care, I may not care. That's not the issue. But I no longer define myself by it. So my worth and value, my good enoughness is not a function of whether or not someone likes me. And that allowed me to become my authentic self.

[00:04:54]Um, you know, I I spoke in front of 600 people once and my scarf fell off and I forgot my words for a second and you know, it was what it was. And in the past, I would have suffered and oh my god, and you know, would have been a tragedy. Everything would be very big.

[00:05:13]I'd lay up at night going, "Oh, did I insult Marcy? Did I thank her? Did I say something?" You know, that voice in your head.

[00:05:20]>> [snorts] >> And so my life became miraculous um when I married my husband, when I um did this work, when I met you.

[00:05:36][laughter] >> Oh, the most important part right there.

[00:05:39]Right there.

[00:05:40]>> Well, here's here here's the thing. I got to comment on this because everybody I know, everybody I think in the world has some form of these beliefs of if they like me then I'll feel good enough or you know I'm not good enough at this or all of these it it's universal and the fact that you have been able to clear that that's freedom. That's what we want in life. That's living in the miracle zone. That's living true and authentic to ourselves rather than at the mercy of what somebody else is going to think or what something else is going to do or what the weather's going to be or what's going to happen in your country or whatever it is.

[00:06:20]>> Totally.

[00:06:20]>> So, we have been just run by our beliefs. So, I I know that you're going to share with us how we can get over that. But first, let's talk about how do they get formed to begin with.

[00:06:31]>> Yeah. I want to talk about how they get formed and and I want to make a distinction. I listen to people talk about beliefs all the time and people generally don't understand the difference between a belief and a pattern.

[00:06:46]>> So like I can't lose weight. That's a pattern that may become a belief after the pattern is formed but the pattern is already up and operating. So a pattern is observable.

[00:06:59]It's behavioral. So, I either have something I don't want or I I don't have something I want. I I, you know, um do something I don't want to do or I don't do something I want to do. I procrastinate. I don't speak up for myself. Um I um feel inadequate and so I walk around feeling anxious. Those are patterns. A belief is a statement about reality that we hold as the truth. Most of our beliefs are con are unconscious.

[00:07:32]So we come into this world and we don't know if we're good enough or not. We don't know if life is easy or hard. We don't know if money is scarce or and hard to get or flows with abundance.

[00:07:46]We don't know. So we come into this little environment called our family.

[00:07:52]And it could be a mom and a dad, a single mom, two dads, whatever it is.

[00:07:57]And every child alive wants three things. Affection, attention, and acknowledgement.

[00:08:08]And the oneword question that every child asks, I have clients in Uganda and I have a client in Saudi Arabia. And if I ask them, what is the one-word question your child asks all day long, they all say, why?

[00:08:24]>> Why?

[00:08:26]Why can't I have dessert? Why can't I have a playd date? Why do you have to go to work?

[00:08:32]So, if a child is being criticized, why can't I live up to my parents' expectations?

[00:08:41]I guess I'm not good enough. Why are my parents not paying attention to me? Why are they looking at their iPhone while I'm talking to them? Why are they never here? I guess I'm not important.

[00:08:56]Why are they complaining about money?

[00:08:58]Why can't they pay the bills? Well, I guess money is scarce and hard to get.

[00:09:02]>> So, [clears throat] it's a conclusion that we have come to just because it's just because >> it's the answer to the question why.

[00:09:14]>> Why? And if there's something wrong with me as a child, I'm in trouble because my survival depends on my parents. And they seem to know everything. They can drive, they can work, they can do things, they know the answers to everything. So they must be right. So if they're struggling, life must be hard.

[00:09:36]>> Right? If they don't think I'm good enough, I must not be. Now the reason Mars that and you know this you know from doing this the reason our beliefs stay with us so there's lots of amazing things you can do in life there's spiritual work there's you know I love I am in the year of miracles for years and years and I have created miracles in that course there's lots of things that have value but if you have beliefs underneath these these patterns, it's going to be very difficult to apply the wonderful things that people teach you. So if you want to know why, well, I do everything they said, but what's the belief? So if you believe water is boiling, you're not going to put your hand in it. If you believe something is poison, you're not going to drink it. Our beliefs determine our behavior, our emotions and ultimately our reality.

[00:10:42]So people who believe life is hard have hard lives.

[00:10:45]>> Yeah. And and so I mean the beliefs then are at the core of how we end up experiencing the rest of our lives. All of our lives is the beliefs. So >> how is it that you know we can't just kind of think our way out of a belief?

[00:11:00]Oh, that's a bad belief. I don't like that belief. I won't think that anymore.

[00:11:04]>> Right. Exactly. So, a belief is like you have a fist in the space and if you're sitting there going, I'm good enough.

[00:11:11]I'm good enough. I'm good enough. You're doing affirmations. You can't put something where something already is. We got to get rid of this. Now, if everybody I want you to imagine for a second that you think Marcy doesn't like you and you and I are standing in the street and we're talking and Marcy walks by and doesn't say hello to you, wouldn't you say to me, "See, Shelly, I told you she doesn't like me."

[00:11:43]It's as if you could see she doesn't like me, >> right? But you can't. You just see her walking by and not saying hello.

[00:11:55]Our beliefs stay with us because we think we saw them.

[00:12:03]And it is impossible to not believe something you think you saw.

[00:12:11]So if somebody said to you, "Marcy hates flowers." You'd say, "No, she doesn't. She always has flowers."

[00:12:22]And they'd say, "No, no, she hates flowers." You'd say, "No, she does not."

[00:12:26]Because I saw Marcy always have flowers.

[00:12:29]If she hated them, she wouldn't do that.

[00:12:32]Right. Yes.

[00:12:33]>> So, so our beliefs live as if we saw them. So, whenever I say to somebody, "Doesn't it seem like you saw I'm not good enough?" A lot of the times they say every day of my life.

[00:12:49]Now here's the thing everyone.

[00:12:52]Anything you can see. So if you're listening, I'm holding up a red water bottle. So anything you could see has a color, shape, and location.

[00:13:03]You cannot see I'm not good enough. You can see parents criticizing you. You could see failing a test in school.

[00:13:15]You can see event peop certain people not people. So I say what did you see?

[00:13:21]Everyone says I saw people and it lives like you saw 7 billion. No you saw one person or two people saying something or doing something.

[00:13:33]So the the the privilege of my life is working with sexual abuse survivors and you cannot see I'm worthless or I'm damaged goods. You see what happened to you and then as Marcy said the conclusion you reach the belief you form is in your mind not in the events.

[00:13:59]Okay. So, I mean it this is a gamecher and and and I think that a lot of people have kind of gotten, oh yes, it's my story that I've told myself. It's it's all the beliefs, but they still haven't been able to get to the place where they can release them.

[00:14:14]>> That's right.

[00:14:15]>> So, what is the difference? What is it that Let's just start with. Is there something practical that we can all do to help release it? I don't even know if you want to walk us through something together. Maybe how how can we practically release a belief?

[00:14:30]>> We can walk through we can we can walk through the the process if we do it quickly. I'll just I'll take you all through quickly. Okay.

[00:14:39]>> So, normally we start with a pattern.

[00:14:41]So, eliminating beliefs is a means to an end, right? You want to get rid of the pattern, not the belief. Who cares? So, you start with a pattern, something that you don't like. But for today, we're going to start with a belief. So since everybody just back just back up a little bit. Yeah.

[00:14:59]>> Give me an example of a pattern that you'd start with and then where the belief would be just so we have a sense of that.

[00:15:04]>> So let's assume your pattern is you procrastinate, right? Great.

[00:15:09]>> Or you're afraid to put that video online, right? Or you want to start your own business, but you're you just keep staying in a job you hate. or you're in a relationship that's not being um fulfilling and satisfying and nurturing and you stay in it. So ask yourself the question, what must I believe to do that? Right? So that's where we start.

[00:15:37]>> Okay. So an example of what if I don't get my if I procrastinate or don't get my video up or whatever, what must be a belief would be I'm not I'm not it's not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough is the most common belief that I've never had a client in almost 40 years who didn't have that belief. Okay?

[00:15:55]>> Right. Good.

[00:15:56]>> Um I'm not good enough. Um or I'm not important. That's the second one. So if you say those beliefs out loud, say out loud, I'm not good enough.

[00:16:06]>> I'm not good enough.

[00:16:08]>> Now say I'm not important.

[00:16:11]>> I'm not important.

[00:16:13]>> Now say I'm a monkey.

[00:16:15]>> I'm a monkey.

[00:16:17]So I'm a monkey feels silly, right? Or it feels nothing, right? When you say I'm not good enough or you say I'm not important, >> it usually feels yucky. So the first way you know you have a belief is it doesn't feel good to say it because if you didn't believe it, it would be just words. Right?

[00:16:37]>> Now the most one of the most common beliefs people have is mistakes and failures are bad. I knew it. I could have taught it. I literally could have taught it. I still believed it. And until I got rid of the belief, it ran me. I was af that's procrastination. I'm afraid to make a mistake or fail, right?

[00:16:55]Um uh if I speaking up is dangerous. If I have that belief, I'm not going to speak up. Right? So, whatever belief you choose to work on, the first question is where did that belief come from? Now, we're going to do this really fast. So, a lot of you, I'm not expecting everybody to eliminate a belief, but I want to show you how it works. So, where did that belief come from? Where did you get the idea you're not good enough, right? So, if everybody looks in your life, most of us were criticized as kids. So either there was a presence of a a negative, so you weren't you were criticized, or the absence of a positive, your parents didn't acknowledge you, you know, >> or could it just be that if you have I'm the baby and my brother and sister are 10 and 11 years older than I am and they're doing things so much better than I am, so I'm getting the idea I'm not good enough.

[00:17:51]>> Totally. And I have so many clients who have older siblings that they compared themselves to. Right.

[00:17:59]So, whatever it is for you, now mostly self-esteem beliefs come from parents, because if your parents were acknowledging you in the way that I teach in my parenting course, it wouldn't matter what your siblings do.

[00:18:12]Your parents would say they're older.

[00:18:15]They couldn't do it when you were when they were your age. But parents mostly don't know how to do that. Parents, instead of saying, "I know you want to run around the restaurant. You're 5 years old and full of energy." when you run around a restaurant, they say, "Get over here. Sit down. Stop that." You know, so most parents don't have parenting skills and tools, >> which is something else that Shelley is an expert in because she teaches parenting skills programs. So, yeah.

[00:18:45]Thank you. So, so now we have a belief and we're saying, "Well, where did that belief come from?" Well, when I was little, every time I spoke up, I got slapped or I got hit or I got yelled at. Well, speaking up is dangerous, right? So, whatever you're eliminating, ask yourself, where did it come from? I'm not important. My mother worked all the time. She was never available. Right?

[00:19:10]So, now the next question is what? It made sense to conclude what you did. That's why I'm busy all day because we all concluded these things. But now we're going to play a game called valid interpretations.

[00:19:27]So, one interpretation that would explain the fact that you were criticized or ignored or yelled at every time you made a mistake is I'm not good enough or I'm not important or mistakes and failures are bad.

[00:19:46]That's one interpretation. I want you to look at your lives and we're going to stay with I'm not good enough. So it one interpretation is you're not good enough. What else could it mean if Marcy and I and you are watching a video of your childhood and we see your parents criticize you?

[00:20:10]One interpretation is you're not good enough.

[00:20:13]Another interpretation is they thought you were so amazing that they kept pushing you and they wanted you to do well because they thought you could.

[00:20:24]That's a valid interpretation. Another interpretation is they had unrealistic expectations.

[00:20:31]I say to parents, "Do you excel at everything?" They say, "Of course not."

[00:20:35]And I say, "But you expect your kid to get straight A's."

[00:20:42]>> So, one interpretation is they had unrealistic expectations. Another interpretation is they thought you were weren't good enough. That doesn't mean it was true.

[00:20:52]>> Yeah. They thought they aren't good enough, so they're projecting their own not good enough onto you.

[00:20:57]>> Exactly. So why would you care if your kid could kick a soccer ball into a net?

[00:21:03]That's ridiculous. But if you believe what makes me good enough are my achievements, your kid becomes your achievement.

[00:21:11]>> Yes. So it's their insecurity. It had nothing to do with you.

[00:21:18]And maybe you weren't good enough at that subject or that sport.

[00:21:22]>> So there's more spaciousness. So let me just slow it down a little bit because I need to process this.

[00:21:28]>> So I'm not good enough.

[00:21:30]Okay. I saw my parents criticizing me.

[00:21:34]Another interpretation is that they were stressed out that day and they were taking it out on me. Or another interpretation is that they thought I had great abilities and they wanted to train me to do better. Okay. So getting a little more spaciousness at at other interpretations really helps. I can see that >> it's it's actually breaking up [clears throat] the reality of the belief.

[00:22:01]>> Mhm.

[00:22:02]>> When you could see it from different points of view. Now all of a sudden, well maybe it's not the truth.

[00:22:08]>> It's not fixed in cement the way you've held it before. Now it's got some spaciousness.

[00:22:13]>> Right now.

[00:22:14]>> Okay. The next step is doesn't it? So if there are other valid interpretations is what you said I'm not good enough the truth or just one interpretation.

[00:22:28]It's just one.

[00:22:29]>> Just one interpretation.

[00:22:30]>> Now doesn't it seem like as a child you saw I'm not good enough?

[00:22:41]Well, okay. I'm not sure about that. I didn't see it. I might have heard it.

[00:22:47]>> Well, you saw your parents say it.

[00:22:49]>> Okay. Yes.

[00:22:50]>> Yeah. So, you saw your parents say it or you saw your parents criticize you?

[00:22:55]>> Yes.

[00:22:55]>> Now, the question is, did you ever see, and we're going to get to what you saw in a minute, did you ever see I'm not good enough?

[00:23:05]>> No. I saw them criticizing me.

[00:23:07]>> You saw your parents criticizing you.

[00:23:10]>> Yes.

[00:23:10]>> You saw them ignoring you. You saw them not being around. You saw them uh struggling to pay the bills.

[00:23:22]But you can't see money as >> So in my situation, if if I'm seeing my brother and sister do things better than I am, I did see them doing things better than I did.

[00:23:32]>> That's right.

[00:23:34]>> Okay.

[00:23:34]>> But where was I'm not good enough?

[00:23:39]>> Right. So, if it wasn't out there to be seen, where was that?

[00:23:44]>> I I made it up >> in your mind.

[00:23:50]>> In my mind, I drew the conclusion that not necessarily is true.

[00:23:54]>> In your mind, that's the only place I'm not good enough ever existed.

[00:23:59]>> Oh, yes, >> I'm not important. Oh, money is scarce and hard to get. You could see your parents struggling, but money is scarce and hard to get is in your mind. Now, that's where people go [clears throat] like, "Oh my god, it's like Santa Claus.

[00:24:16]I never saw Santa Claus. I made that up.

[00:24:20]>> That leaf goes away and never comes back." Right.

[00:24:22]>> And the guy at the mall didn't count.

[00:24:24]>> Exactly. [laughter] Exactly. Now, here's the thing. So, I saw a guy in a red suit with a white beard.

[00:24:30]>> Yeah.

[00:24:31]>> Now, here's the next piece. And I'm gonna if we have time, I'm going to give you a a little thing you can actually do by yourself. You can't do this by yourself, but you can do something else.

[00:24:42]I'm going to make a quick distinction.

[00:24:44]Consequences versus meaning. Okay. The consequences of getting yelled at or being ignored are you don't feel loved, you don't get your needs met. Uh the consequences of your parents not having money is you don't get a new bike. I'm not minimizing consequences. My husband died. There are consequences to that.

[00:25:08]It's 11 years. I still miss him. There are consequences. I'm not minimizing it.

[00:25:13]But I'm going to ask you another question.

[00:25:16]What does it really mean that you were criticized as a kid? That you didn't live up to your parents expectations as a child? What meaning does that have?

[00:25:28]Now, before you answer, Marcy, where does all meaning come from?

[00:25:34]>> Your mind.

[00:25:35]>> Your mind. She doesn't like me. They're not including me. I must be stupid. I failed a test. I must be stupid. You know, meaning is all day long, right?

[00:25:46]Meaning is in your mind.

[00:25:48]>> Somebody walks into a room and doesn't say hello to you, >> they don't like me. They're rude.

[00:25:53]They're We give meaning. Meaning is in the mind. So if meaning is in your mind inside your head, do events have inherent meaning?

[00:26:05]No. No. Again, my husband died. That was tragic. Marcy was with me. I'll tell you the story later because I have to. But it doesn't mean anything. In other words, we don't know anything for sure because something happened.

[00:26:23]>> Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. It means that he's not going to come back tomorrow. No, spend the day.

[00:26:30]>> That's the event.

[00:26:31]>> Uhhuh. Okay.

[00:26:33]>> Event. He is not coming. That's not mean. Me meaning is what I know for sure.

[00:26:39]>> Got it.

[00:26:39]>> So Morty died. I'm laying in bed, right?

[00:26:41]I grieve. That's healthy. But I'm laying in bed. I don't want to get out of bed.

[00:26:45]What happened? Morty died. What meaning did I give it? I'm going to starve to death. I don't know how to run a business.

[00:26:54]Well, did it mean that? No. Because with the help of my beloved friends and Marthy and whatever, I tripled my business from when he was alive. So, that didn't mean that. The next day, I don't want to get out of bed. What happened? Morty died. What meaning did I give it? I'm never going to be happy again.

[00:27:13]>> You're never going to have fun.

[00:27:15]>> I'm never going to have fun again. And I'm going to tell you that story when we're not in the process. I'm never going to have fun again. Well, that's pos maybe that's true. What else could it mean? It could mean that Marcy's gonna come in and make sure I have fun, right? So, events have no meaning. We don't know anything for sure because something happens, right? If if something terrible happened to you as a child, that doesn't mean anything about you. It just happened. Meanings in the mind. So, what does it mean that your parents criticized you when you were a kid?

[00:27:53]>> What do I know for sure? Nothing. What does it mean that your siblings who were 10 years older could do things you couldn't do? What meaning does that have?

[00:28:02]>> Nothing.

[00:28:02]>> Nothing. In fact, Marcy created an empire, [laughter] you know, and and created a life that a truly miraculous life. Let me tell you guys, she is not full of She has miraculous [laughter] life. I'm part of it that you know luckily so I observe it all the time.

[00:28:22]She even has a miraculous dog.

[00:28:24][laughter] >> So So the fact now here's the last piece which is really cool. Doesn't it seem like the events what happened to you made you feel like you weren't good enough?

[00:28:42]Yes.

[00:28:44]Can events that have no meaning make you feel anything?

[00:28:52]>> No. So, you're walking down the street and a man walks past you and it has no meaning. What are you going to feel?

[00:29:02]>> It has no meaning.

[00:29:04]>> What are you going to feel?

[00:29:05]>> Man walks past you >> and it has no meaning.

[00:29:08]>> It has no meaning. Nothing.

[00:29:10]>> Nothing. If you give it the meaning, he's dangerous. Now what are you going to feel?

[00:29:15]>> Scared.

[00:29:16]>> If you give it the meaning, he'll protect me. Now what are you going to feel?

[00:29:20]>> Grateful.

[00:29:22]>> Safe.

[00:29:22]>> Safe. Right. So events that have no meaning cannot make you feel anything.

[00:29:33][sighs and snorts] So what made you feel not good enough?

[00:29:41]something I made up that I told myself that doesn't have meaning.

[00:29:45]>> You gave the offense.

[00:29:47]>> All of your feelings come from the meaning you give meaningless events.

[00:29:55]>> You know, it's it's life-changing. It's freedom.

[00:29:59]>> So, last thing, last step, you close your eyes. Now, I want you to imagine Auntie Marcy and Auntie Shelly are there. And we say to you, "Sweetheart, your parents have unrealistic expectations. They spill things. They drop things. And they're adults and they yell at you when you do. They just they have no patience. They have no parenting skills." And imagine thinking, "Oh, I see.

[00:30:29]My parents have issues. They don't know how to empower me. has nothing to do with me or I'm in a school. I'm too smart for this school. You know that they want me to memorize. I want to ask questions.

[00:30:46]Imagine my parents struggle with money, but that doesn't mean I have to.

[00:30:52]>> And as you're giving the same events, different meaning, do you still feel not good enough?

[00:31:00]>> No. And if you didn't feel not good enough when you were little, would you feel it today?

[00:31:06]>> No.

[00:31:06]>> No. Now take a deep breath. [snorts] Say, "I'm not good enough." Or whatever belief you were working on. Say it out loud.

[00:31:15]>> I'm not good enough.

[00:31:18]>> Wow. It just such a difference. Such a huge difference. I want to hear people's comments. How did that shift for you?

[00:31:28]Please add into the comments section what was that for you? How have you how do you I mean I feel so much lighter when I say it than when I did 15 minutes ago.

[00:31:39]>> Now two quick things. Number one, beliefs get formed in the past. Meaning gets formed in the moment.

[00:31:48]>> Meaning that you give events generally comes from your beliefs. So if you believe dogs are dangerous and a dog comes into the room, you're going to give it the meaning that dog is going to hurt me. And then you feel fear. So here's a tool to play with. Okay? We're not getting rid of beliefs, but you can do this. Anytime you have a negative emotion, stop and ask yourself, what just happened? My husband looked at me cockeyed or he didn't do what I wanted him to do. What meaning did you give it?

[00:32:20]He doesn't care. What else could it mean? Could mean he's preoccupied. It could mean he's doing something else. Preoccupied. It could mean that um uh he has some belief that keeps him from doing it, right?

[00:32:40]Could mean he has ADD. Could mean anything, right? So, anytime you have a negative emotion, and this is where you will not ever be a victim again, what happened? Marcy didn't call me. What meaning did I give it? She doesn't Oh, wait. Here's a good one. Every year we go to Fourth of July together. Every year. And Marcy calls. I got tickets here. This year she didn't call me and didn't invite me. And a friend of ours said, "Oh, are you coming with us on Fourth of July?" And I went, "Oh, I didn't even think about it." Now, in the past, I would have gone, "Oh my god, Marcy doesn't love me. She doesn't care about me. She doesn't want me to go."

[00:33:21]I called Marcy. I said, "Mars, is it okay if I join?" She said, "Of course."

[00:33:27]Like, of course. I got a ticket and I'm going, right? So, I I don't I'm at a place where I don't give meaning anymore. I I do sometimes. I sometimes get caught, but I can use this tool and dissolve it, right? It could mean she doesn't care about me and it could mean she didn't think about it. She has a lot of other things on her plate. Right? So that's the thing.

[00:33:54]That's how you get rid of >> and it meant I didn't know what your plans were so I didn't want to buy them because I was on right then and I didn't want to buy it and not have you available. So that's what it meant.

[00:34:02]>> Yeah. So so that's what happened. Those were the events but meaning is in your mind. It's never in the events. And you can get rid of all your suffering by doing that.

[00:34:16]>> And and this is as I say, I've said it's freedom, but it's also how we live in the miracle zone. You know, the miracle zone is that place of greater truth and greater alignment and greater freedom where you're not bogged down by those old beliefs and the meanings that you're giving things. And that's then then all of life is magical. And I it I don't mean it to be like la fairyland, but it changes everything. I mean, this is the core of all of it is beliefs. And Shelley, I've seen you work with so many people. I've had you come to the year of miracles program. People have been blown away. And you know, I I get to hear the stories of of some of the people whose lives you've changed. maybe tell us just one story of a belief that's changed or dissolved for people uh limiting beliefs that's gone and what changed in their life. I know you have so many.

[00:35:13]>> Oh my god. So yesterday um uh I'm working with a man who um struggles with depression and he doesn't have good coping skills. So every time something doesn't go right in his life, he goes down the tunnel, down the tubes. And um he was sent to me by someone who does amazing work and and he was he was not in good shape. And one of the beliefs we got rid of is so a lot of my clients that one of their parents were alcoholics and you know um the other parent was disconnected emotionally and so in his case um there were some dramatic things you know he got thrown out and all kinds of things. Now, here's the thing.

[00:36:08]When you're little and you can't impact the circumstances of your life, there was no food in the fridge, right?

[00:36:19]The belief that you conclude, most people conclude is I'm powerless.

[00:36:24]>> And underlying depression is helplessness, hopelessness, powerlessness. Mhm.

[00:36:30]>> So he looked at he did the process and he got rid of the belief I'm powerless and he's pretty successful guy. I mean so that's interesting. But I'm powerless.

[00:36:45]So every time something happens he goes down the tubes because he's powerless.

[00:36:51]Right? For those of us who believe we have the power to impact the circumstances we don't go down the tubes. Right?

[00:36:58]So here's the thing. He gets rid of this belief and I say, "Close your eyes and imagine now something happens and you can do something about it and he could imagine that." So again, I love what you said, Morris. I never saw it in the way that I just did. This is about going to make me cry.

[00:37:24]This is about the miracle zone.

[00:37:27]It really be.

[00:37:29]>> Yeah.

[00:37:29]>> Because that's a miracle when you're not powerless anymore.

[00:37:33]>> Absolutely. Absolutely. And and you know how that changes the way he the next year, 10 years, rest of his life is dramatic. And dramatic, >> Shel, I I love I love the work you do. I love your heart. Your total commitment to people and having their lives. And this is this is Shel. she'll end up crying because she [laughter] she's that that uh you know [clears throat] deep about deeply caring for people living a life that's free when you've seen so many you know and as you said almost now 40 years where you've seen time and time again people's lives transform before your eyes when belief shifts. So >> Shelley people are gonna like I I just want to rave about all you do. I mean the you Shelley is giving you all an opportunity to eliminate a belief for free. You can learn more about this at uh eliminate beliefs.com. That'll be in our show notes. She also has an amazing course called natural confidence which has 19 belief eliminating videos and four fear disonditioning videos. And who doesn't have uh issues with fear or the whole beliefs that go around confidence or not confidence? So Shelley, I've I feel honored to get to being on this path with you.

[00:39:00]>> I have to close this out with my miracle that I want to share.

[00:39:05]>> Okay.

[00:39:05]>> When Morty died, and I tell this story for a very specific reason, and I'll say it at the end. Why?

[00:39:14]When Morty died, I thought my life was over. And I said, you know, I am, my mother told me, life is about having fun. And I said, well, I'm never going to have fun again. I mean, that ship has sailed, right? And the night he died was the night of our women's meeting. And [snorts] Marcy came over and she sat on one side of me. My other girlfriend was on the other side of me. They like held me up.

[00:39:39]And Marcy looked at me and she said, "Chel, I will always be there to remind you that you can still have fun and to make sure that you do." And I looked at her like she was crazy. And I said, "Morris, thanks, but that's not happening." And about I don't know four weeks, 3 weeks, four weeks later, she called me and she said, "I have tickets to see Diana Ross." And I went, "All right, I'll go."

[00:40:07]And we went and guess what? As Marcy and I do, we had fun. And then about I don't know six weeks later, she called me and she said, "I have tickets to see the Beach Boys." And we went to see The Beach Boys. And we had fun. We went to see Trevor Noah. I laughed so hard. I thought I was never going to stop laughing.

[00:40:28]>> Really? And for 11 years, Marcy has been doing that.

[00:40:39]And why I share this story is [snorts] because sometimes we think that what we do doesn't make a difference and that being a good friend doesn't make a difference. It's like, yeah, so what?

[00:40:54]that that someone cared about me that much.

[00:41:03]When I lost the person that I cared that cared about me most in the world, knowing that someone else cared saved my life.

[00:41:16]>> And so I want you to know that what you First of all, I want you to know that you're following the right person.

[00:41:23][laughter] She's extraordinary.

[00:41:26]But that what who you are and what you do makes a difference.

[00:41:36]>> Shelly, thank you. Who you [snorts] are and what you do has made a huge difference [laughter] in my life.

[00:41:43]Besides being my fun friend, in addition to being my fun friend, you are just a true sister and and you value love. You value truth. You value caring. You value what what matters most in life. And this is why the work that you do and the LefGo method has it's just profound. You care about helping people live the life that they are here to live. that life of freedom, that life of being in the miracle zone. And I love you. I'm so happy. This was this was fabulous. I've never been able to I've never seen you go through doing this process as quickly as you did. How fabulous. How fabulous did that work? I I I'm I'm thrilled that you did it. Before we close, are there any last minute words that you want to share?

[00:42:38]>> You don't have to suffer.

[00:42:40]>> It's not change. People believe change is hard and takes a long time. It doesn't. You don't have to suffer. Go to uh eliminatebeliefs.com and eliminate a belief for free and see how freeing that can be because that is the mission of our company. It's the mission of my life to help people live as the unlimited possibilities that they are.

[00:43:09]Yay.

[00:43:11]Yay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that is so true. And so do go to uh eliminate beliefs.com and and just try it out for yourself there. And I just thank you, Shelley. This has been awesome. I loved this. And I want to thank everybody for joining us today because I know that if you were drawn to this conversation that it wasn't by accident. I know that there is something in you that is ready to live more fully in the miracle zone. And I I hope that you loved this session as much as I did and that you're feeling inspired and uplifted and aligned with the energy of miracles. And of course, share this with someone you love. I there's not a person on the planet that couldn't use what it was that we did here together today. So share this with people. And also remember that you can download your free gift from us, which is our ebook, Manifest a Life of Miracles: Four Steps to Living in the Miracle Zone. You can get that at the miraczonebook.com.

[00:44:09]And finally, let's just all be here to remind each other of this truth.

[00:44:14][snorts] Miracles aren't reserved for the lucky few. They are meant for each of us. They are meant [music] for you.

[00:44:22]So, I'm sending you so much love. Until next time.

[00:44:27][music] Heat. Heat. Heat.

[00:44:42][music]