You think you’re accepting anxiety — but are you secretly waiting for it to leave?

追加: 2026-05-19

[00:00:00]Hey friends, here's another highlight from our group coaching of this week that I wanted to share with you. You see, one of the most frustrating parts about the anxious mind is how quickly it loves to turn recovery tools into a business transaction.

[00:00:13]It's subtle, very subtle, but such a common place for people to get stuck, and many are doing it without realizing it. The thought process goes something like this, "I'll allow this, and then you better calm down. I'll stop resisting, and then the feeling leaves."

[00:00:29]Okay, fine. I accept anxiety temporarily. You see, on the surface, it looks like acceptance, but underneath, the mind is still trying to negotiate its way out of the experience. And this is why people often say, "I am accepting anxiety. I am doing the dare steps, but it's not working." It's true, it can't be working because there is nothing to be worked at in that sense. And one way to spot if your mind has turned acceptance into a transaction is to ask yourself the following question, honestly.

[00:01:00]Am I trying to change how I feel with what I'm doing? Then pause and feel into the answer. You will know because if yes, you will feel that there is an inner sense of forward lean, a sense of waiting, a more active stance.

[00:01:17]And if not, it will feel more quiet, more like you're holding a moment, just being in it, even if it's uncomfortable.

[00:01:24]You see, this question cuts through the noise and confusion quickly and can get you back into a state of non-resisting fairly quickly because just noticing that we're trying to get somewhere is often enough to relax us back into true acceptance, the place with no hidden contract, no hidden agenda. That doesn't mean that we enjoy the moment. Usually, nobody enjoys feeling anxious.

[00:01:49]But the core of acceptance is that, to not trying to change how you feel, not trying to change your thoughts, not trying to control something that is out of your control. And when we arrive there, this is when acceptance starts working. This is [clears throat] when you know you're doing the dare steps right. This is where the forward lean subsides, where tension melts because we remove that constant friction [clears throat] that keeps us in a perpetual state of resistance. So, if you notice yourself doing the dare steps, meditating, breathing, distracting yourself, or really doing anything to help yourself, pause for a second and ask, "Am I doing this to change how I feel or to stay more present with what's already here?"

[00:02:31]Because that question can change a lot and uncover the hidden agenda and that subtle, "Please make this stop" energy that often runs quietly in the background.

[00:02:40]If this reflection resonated, I would love to welcome you to one of our live calls where we explore and practice these approaches together with people who truly understand how anxiety can feel absurdly complicated and strategically simple at the same time.

[00:02:55]See you there. Bye.