BECOMING (AN)OTHER STORY: LENA

[00:00:12]because of your smile because of your eyes because of the smile in her eyes because of the way she navigates space the way she touches the ground because she knows how to tell stories through objects because of your creative chaos your sensitive way of being around vulnerable creatures because of not being afraid to be [Music] vulnerable because I see something of my future self in here because she doesn't hide she she won't give up she won't comply because of your drawings her Str out your prince because he has made death and lost a gentle ritual because of your hands because she's an artist because she transforms a stone into an artwork she creates masks she balances objects on her head because she allows me to go through her life's phot archive because he handles feathers sunand bones cacti found objects with care because what she does matters because he plays seriously and invites you to play with her because she had done so much that cannot be encapsulated because it defies the stigma of disability neurodiversity age and gender because I have wanted to make a documentary style portrait of here for a long time because there are so many things I don't know about here because I haven't met anyone else like here because he said yes and I don't want to lose this opportunity [Music] my grandma was extraordinary in an ordinary way a woman to go to when someone died laying out cleaning washing the dead preparing them gently in a final shroud once I made her a hat Black Velvet large as a pudding it was my first funeral funeral outfit but she didn't wear it I wouldn't wear it either I was 7 years old when I remember the past I'm always seven as if time stopped in that moment when death became real death is painful excruciating but like the soil as it leaves the Spade something has to let go but what you still carry are the memories of those gone my mother she was a sewer and my grandma and me we were all called Lena my great grandma met a wise blind woman who said name your child Lena and she'll never being want so she did and my grandma named my mom and my mom named me but that Wise Old Woman told fibs threads woven with love challenges and loss working with hands that remember touching fabric that holds the past I love linen and silk there softness their quality they bring back the feel of leeners close and comforting I love my ears small delicate when Steve was Ill he pulled my ear so he knew it was me a touch a reassurance a recognition a memory pierced into me just like the time where my mom took me to have them done I'm afraid of neglect of being forgotten being left alone but I'm not afraid to take risks to dare to create to be inspired every 5 minutes by people by their stories by imagining moments and weaving them into Tales my secret pleasure is tinned Peaches a sweetness hidden in the folds of memory a story lingering long after it's told [Music] here I am in here Studio A Sacred Space for an artist a place to withdraw to emerge to merge reflecting a process a journey a destination not yet reached here I find rituals in the making dances of forms and shapes through Light Shadows and cutouts here I find leftover from past and present whispering in the semi Darkness she opens the door to me with Grace and generosity the whole place holds stories stories made of Blues and Hues Stones sticks and stitches cotton silk linen she loves linen here I find a man with tattoos of flowers naked women drawn on Stones portraits on hosta leaves a hair and the moon remains of the menopause Cactus spiky and resilient a statement of age time that passes without asking here I find sparse texts you're not alone once I was invisible now I am seen voices to be Amplified voices to be heard I'm drawn to the asprs a ritual of life and death a circle containing the essence of what once was a living body like the dog with the moon Steve the most authentic portrait for me for her too I think love and fears blend with memories edged in the bones becoming a pattern and she an alchemist who doesn't need to measure because her hands no ah my ash prins my collection Ash it's so precious you're really surprised at how much Ash there is in a person but you only need a tiny little bit just as well it's such a precious thing sving just sving the final remains it goes so fine when you do it like this and just looking at the the the tools and things that I've got I mean I've got those lovely antique little plates and things there such a history there and then oh look so delicate placing it in the in the nitrate the silver nitrate first but the Ash has to be dissolved so that it can go onto the plate it's it is like a ritual everything about it has got some importance and relevance and I want to be in a quiet place when I'm doing it I don't want any fuss or noise around me I take my time you have to give it time I'm quite nervous of anything losing it or dropping it I know there's plenty more of it but still it's every every tiny little element of it's really important looking at the the very essence of the person you've got you've got in your hand of course uh this is tomorrow for all of us you have to use nature the natural sunlight for the prince to develop so you're working in harmony all the time with with the Earth and don't they look beautiful when they come through each one different like a sun print the [Music] colors they change some are golden I keep them all in a special place such delicate hands I always remember my dad saying I had delicate hands [Music] and From Ashes to [Music] shrouds a ritual of remembrance a ritual of Separation a ritual of care of preparation contemplation [Music] celebration I observe here laying out rolling unrolling exposing revealing [Music] concealing and the soft body held dressed wrapped veiled protected adorned adored before being released and I wonder what does it mean to become part of someone's death someone unknown to you at home I've got a shroud on my wall this is a cyanotype i quite like it it's one of the early ones I like the ties it sort of fits into the rest of my house where I've drawn on the walls bringing the outside in I sit here sewing often it reminds me of when I was seven and I got feminism I was talking to my sister and saying I was going to embroider my shroud with my maternal family tree just in case I was ever dug up people had know where I came from my sister said oh God no don't do that I'll be sitting at the side of your grave sewing cuz you'll never fin finish it in front of a wall of pink limbs a man would measure my bones the different inches enable me to dance I got into the groove learning the language of my body delighting in the exploration of my limits I love to dance my syn pated rhythm flowing in harmony with my unique gate I moved with a style that was entirely my own dance became my companion through life not in spite of my dis ability but because of it each step each turn was a testament to the beauty of my difference the Rhythm that made me who I am tell me a little bit about this project this this project was a place where there's a lot of people with Autism but when we first went um I chose to work with these seven men who were the most severely autistic people in the country and so I worked with a musician called Harry I think his name was um only ever worked with him the once never worked with him before and when we arrived um I was shaking hands with that uh the the guy who was rocking naked and he said Harry said as soon as he saw me shake hand with this chapie knew that we could work together and so we did and we did a lot of Sentry work he was a musician and I did visual work and um uh environmental stuff so this room that were in I don't think it was this room or maybe it wasn't there was one room that we were working in all the time well that's the place yeah that's the corridor and this chap walked the corridors up and down like this and see he's circling here well I'm in the room I clocked in circling and I'm in the room next to him circling the same so I'm echoing what he's doing and then eventually I put my hand out and he touches my hand and it was like the first bit of communication that we had and then he'd wonderand off then he'd come back back need Circle again and out Circle until we got close enough to work together and then and then sometimes he'd walk up and down the corridors and just hit the wall thump it and so I followed him and thumped it in a rhythm and then he do it again and it must have been like an hour's worth of work going backwards and forwards thumping this wall until eventually we were really close and I was playing his chest hugging him and play in his chest it's really lovely so we got closer and closer and communicated with with touch and and sound it's quite um but you had to find your own way of communicating with each individual and it worked we had loads of different ways of working it was either music play offerings objects creative work changing the environment with g L because of the more being autistic we had to change a tiny little bit at a time so it wasn't too too much but yeah it was quite a challenging project it was Finding visual communication and music communication and that's where we were at and we were able to get quite close to people I mean I I did lots of dance work dance routine thing not routines like uh like the guy who was holding his hand out like he'd held his hand out and then I could touch it that would be one day's worth of work another day he might have his foot out and i' touch his foot until eventually the two of us had our heads close together and we were dancing and moving with contact improvisation it was just gorgeous nobody saw it nobody really knew it was just me and him in the room doing this this stuff but it was communicating it was getting through it Lov so they couldn't see out of the windows but I cut a slit so they could still have the same view they'd have to go to the window to see their view cuz this group of people wouldn't like change it would upset them it would so you had to be very careful of what you did so the room had altered but you could still see the same things but it was slight different we put sand on the floor so that the texture under the feet was different but it was subtle we hung um uh uh like plastic stuff from the ceiling so that you could touch but it wasn't a hard touch so things like that they were subtle changes and then we could play with those things and be creative within them so yeah and everything from that was improvised then you'd have to improvise you'd never get doing anything if you had a plan we had a structure but not PL [Music] [Music] Out of the Shadows I work with people with disabilities like the professors these are adults with learning disabilities and I've been working with them off and on for 40 years they've been creating work together for that long and they've seen the transition from an isolated community of disabled people to having a voice a voice that impacts on [Music] others I've devised methods to enable them to tell their stories one of these workshops played with the concept of metaphor we used objects to go on a journey both physical and metaphorical and the results were amazing it formed a new language language a fresh form of communication and collaboration it's in my bones this work that lives at the edges that lives at the end of life the beginning of my bones I was born with a deformed hip in the hospital my doctor Mr DWI would have me walk the catwalk for him examining my every step one day he showed me an x-ray on a light box haven't I got beautiful bones he softened at that moment I've placed bones into my work the foundation the joy familiarity and discovery of a mermaid's taale brought life from the remnants of the earth these bones have traveled with me into the homes of those with dementia offering a familiar Touchstone something ancient and comforting in my hands they've become tools for play stacked high in Del delicate balance turning art into a game a meditation a moment of focus the act of balancing fascinates me I've balanced objects on my head while walking feeling the weight the Stillness the connection to the Earth it's a way of placing myself within the landscape of find finding my place of belonging it's being fully present Fully Alive in the delicate dance of balance for me it is a challenge fine-tuning my imperfect body making perfect for its work ahead the tired Bones hold firm hold up the weight of my expectations this life with its challenges and triumphs has shaped me it's in my bones after [Music] all for