The Less You Say, The More Powerful You Become! Robert Greene

Added: 2026-05-22

[00:00:00]Talking less creates an aura of power.

[00:00:04]It makes you look larger than you actually are. [music] To change yourself to become fluid, to be something different, means you have to let go of the past, you have to let go of your ego.

[00:00:16]If you're always the same, if you're always [music] doing the same, if you're always appearing the same, they're going to get bored with you [music] and they're going to look for something else. So, you have to be mysterious, you have to withdraw.

[00:00:28]You're a mystery to yourself. [music] You don't know who you are. You have patterns of behavior and you're not even understanding [music] that. You don't know why you're angry. You think you're angry because that person said something mean to you or did something [music] wrong. But in fact, your anger probably stems from things from deep, deep within, from your childhood.

[00:00:52]You know, a lot [music] of power is thinking ahead, two or three moves ahead. And in order to see things several moves in advance, you you know what your intentions are, you know where you're going to go >> [music] >> in 6 months, right? And so, you have to have a vision of where you're headed, but [music] you have to keep everybody else in the dark so that they can't predict what's happening next. So, part of concealing intentions, part of business, [music] part of power is the ability to think strategically, to think in advance, to think several moves in advance. And that means [music] having intentions, having moves that you planned out, but you [music] want to keep other people on their heels. They don't know where you're going to go next.

[00:01:36]You know, business [music] is is very matter-of-fact, but it's also pure psychology. You've got to understand the psychology behind power.

[00:01:44]Power is about appearances. And there's [music] weakness, things that show weakness. Then there are powerful things. And you want to create this aura of [music] power, even though inside you might not feel so powerful [music] or feel so comfortable or secure, but outwardly you want to show this appearance that puts makes people think, "Wow, this guy he's he's authority. I respect him." [music] Talking less creates an aura of power. It makes you look larger than you actually are.

[00:02:14][music] Make people think, "He's mysterious She He or she is mysterious."

[00:02:18]When you talk a lot, I don't know if you've noticed this, but people who talk a lot they kind of [music] there's something insecure about If you can't control your own mouth, if you can't control that, then what can you control?

[00:02:29]You can't control [music] your emotions, you can't control your behavior. It signals weakness and insecurity.

[00:02:37]Whereas [music] talking less, you're not going to say something stupid, and then when you [music] do speak, it it's going to carry a lot of weight. It seems like a an unimportant law, but [music] it's actually extremely important to understand the psychology of what gives the [music] appearance the aura of power and what doesn't. Baseline of every human being, we're all actors. [music] Some are good actors, some act more, some are bad actors, but I always tell people if you look at children, three or four years old, or you remember your own childhood, you were constantly pretending. constantly acting to your parents. You would [music] act like an angel to get something that you wanted.

[00:03:13]You'd act all sweet and innocent [music] because you wanted some candy, you wanted some game. Being an actor is part of human nature. It's deeply, deeply ingrained in all [music] of us because we're a social animal. If you went around just speaking everything [music] that you thought, you would offend everyone around you, right? If you told somebody that their clothes are ugly, that they look fat, that their ideas are stupid, they're going to hate you.

[00:03:36]You're not going to get [music] very far in life.

[00:03:39]So, you learn at an early age to control [music] what you say, to control who you are, to control what you do. We're different in front of our father [music] than we are with our friends, right? So, get over this notion that we can [music] all just hang out and just be who we are. You're never being who you are.

[00:03:55]You're always acting [music] to some degree. But, being rigid and having a form and having a strategy >> parents. So, we're continually comparing ourselves in rank, in power, [music] in status to the people around us.

[00:04:10]And this [music] is deep force within us and it's constant. Every day, every moment. You don't realize it, but you're going through [music] that.

[00:04:17]And social media it completely exacerbates this tendency in human nature [music] and it's the source of envy.

[00:04:26]Another is the contagiousness of emotions, which is extremely powerful.

[00:04:32]We tend to think of ourselves as autonomous [music] human beings, that we're independent, that we I feel affection or anger or frustration on my own. We don't realize how deeply we [music] are affected by the emotions of the people in a group. This is the the viral effects.

[00:04:47]>> [music] >> Emotions are extremely contagious.

[00:04:49]Before the invention of language, we humans had to be able to communicate to one another through just picking [music] up the moods of other people. And if there was a threat to our group or our tribe, [music] the ability to feel fear and anger together bonded us and helped us survive.

[00:05:06]But, that doesn't serve much function in the world today, where viral emotions can be very dangerous. We see a lot of that on social media. [music] That young people, for instance, levels of self-absorption and narcissism [music] have been growing steadily since the 1970s.

[00:05:22]>> [music] >> We are the preeminent social animal on the planet. Our survival depends [music] on how we relate to other people, whether we understand them on some level. [music] And I find a lot of people are recently in the world are really bad at observing just basic elements in human psychology.

[00:05:41][music] And the number one problem I find that they have is an inability to understand [music] the people they're dealing with.

[00:05:49]They hire the wrong partners. They hire the worst assistants, [music] wind up ruining their lives. These are people who are technically brilliant.

[00:05:57]They understand their field. [music] They understand marketing, etc. But they don't understand basics about the people around them and they make terrible hires or they marry absolutely the wrong person for them in their lives. So this is like our Achilles' heel and I think it's gotten worse in the world today.

[00:06:13][music] So my anger was that people are so focused on technology, [music] but that we need to focus much more on human nature, on understanding people.

[00:06:23]That's the primary skill that you need [music] in life.

[00:06:27]There is something deeply ingrained in each individual [music] person, a particular individual nature that we all have >> [music] >> and that causes us to go into compulsive patterns of behavior. I have this problem myself, okay? And everybody has them. Where does [music] it come from?

[00:06:44]Some of it comes from our DNA, from our genetics, things we can't control [music] that we've inherited from our parents.

[00:06:51]Some of it comes from our early attachments.

[00:06:54]>> [music] >> And some of it comes as we get older and we interact with teachers and mentors and various people who create a certain way we [music] view ourselves. If people keep telling us that we're not really worthy, that we're not good students, [music] we internalize that and we end up becoming like that. So it's a mix of things, you know, each person has a mix of these qualities. [music] What I'm saying is you're a mystery to yourself.

[00:07:19]You don't know who you are. You have patterns of behavior and you're not even understanding that. You don't know why you're angry. You think you're angry because that person >> [music] >> said something mean to you or did something wrong, but in fact your anger probably stems from things from deep, deep within, [music] from your childhood and you're not reacting to that person, but to actually your parents and what they didn't give [music] you. That knowledge about who you are is an end in itself and will help you >> [music] >> in so many ways become that human being that I think we all have the potential to become. So, normally when we feel an emotion or we have an idea, we [music] don't examine it. We just assume that's, you know, it's just natural. We came up with that on our own.

[00:08:01]I want you every single day to be examining yourself and to look at yourself. Why do I have that idea?

[00:08:07][music] Why am I feeling this sudden emotion?

[00:08:12]And it's not easy. It takes [music] It can take time and it can take degree of introspection that you're not comfortable with. But if you begin to look at yourself and question, why do I feel this [music] way and examine it and look at perhaps other sources of it, [music] then you can begin this process of understanding instead of just simply accepting that you feel or have this >> [music] >> this certain idea.

[00:08:37]So, when I write the book on human nature, I admit that I have a negative bias towards human nature. [music] I tend to see the dark side in people. I tend to see their manipulative side, what they're trying to hide. That was the source for the 48 Laws of Power.

[00:08:51]That was the anger I felt then that [music] people weren't being honest about how manipulative they can be. I recognize that I have this bias. [music] I recognize that that's who I am.

[00:09:03]Instead of thinking that, well, I'm just brilliant and my ideas are always correct, [music] I question it and I question, is my negative bias towards human nature, is that reality or is it just me? And maybe it's just me because [music] of my the way my parents are.

[00:09:19]You know, my parents were kind of anxious and all worried about a lot of things >> [music] >> and I internalize that and maybe that gave me my negative view on people.

[00:09:29]So, I question it and I say, maybe it's not real. Maybe I need to read books [music] that tell me the other side of the story and there plenty of books, you know, that say that humans are great.

[00:09:39]So, question [music] yourself. Stop assuming that everything you do is so brilliant and smart and >> [music] >> and right. And imagine that maybe your ideas don't come from yourself. Maybe >> [music] >> your feeling some political anger or whatever comes from the fact that you're just [music] assuming it from other people. You're following things on Facebook and you're getting swept up in some viral emotion. You want to think that you're completely independent and autonomous, >> [music] >> but maybe you're not as independent as you think. So, first of all, the first and most important thing that you have to do is to [music] admit, it's almost like an AA thing, that you have a problem.

[00:10:16]If you go through life thinking you don't have a problem, that you know who you are, that your relationships with people are fine, that everything is hunky-dory, then you're never going to be able to even begin to go into the process.

[00:10:27]>> [music] >> So, admit you have a problem. Admit you don't understand the people you deal [music] with.

[00:10:34]Even your spouse or your children, they're mysteries to you. You don't really know what they're thinking. So, admit that first. When you admit [music] that, now you're motivated to try and learn. But the first thing is, >> [music] >> take your your your wife or your husband. If you say to yourself, "I don't really understand them. I think I do." But a lot of the times when you think you understand them, you're just simply projecting your onto them your own emotions. Step back and say, >> [music] >> "Today, I'm going to observe her." Let's just say from my point of view. And