Are You Pushing Your Nervous System Too Hard? (Nervous System Healing)

[00:00:00]So trying to find the balance of you know allowing taking away the resistance and doing the things going towards the triggers without flooding too much or without getting into a crash or not getting sucked into a twoe crash right um so what I say usually in the beginning the first year not saying it's going to take you guys as long as me three years took me three years to fully recover But generally, that's what I use as a as my timeline to kind of give examples.

[00:00:35]So, the first eight months to a year, you're just trying to get into a flow with the work. You're just trying to be consistent with the work, understand what the work is. You're trying to learn how to take away the resistance, be aware of all behavior patterns, being a curious observer. Are you resisting your thoughts throughout the day? Are you talking to Sally about symptoms? Are you sending a message of danger while you're in the danger? Are you symptom checking, body checking? Um, are you sending d speaking danger while you're by yourself? Are you going right? Um, are you just talking about symptoms constantly? Are you just playing the victim, right? Some of these patterns take time for us to be aware of them and to change them. So that's like the first year, right? And then you get all the resistance. Things get worse and then symptoms start to move around. So you know in the beginning understand it's just trying to under you know get stay on the path and see a bit of a pattern and being consistent following the routine.

[00:01:37]So having built a solid routine for the first year and knowing what it feels like being in the trenches that's the that's the the first year right. So uh to expect you know do the exposures like I say in the the first year I was just taking away the resistance which includes not fighting or analyzing my thoughts trying to get rid of them right trying to distract from them or stop them letting them be there letting them sit on my chest or my sorry my shoulder I tell them to come with me right if I have a what if thought classic what if thought I go thank you Lindy sending me that alarm. I don't like it. But guess what? I'm going to let you do your thing. You can run wild and do your thing. You can be a cloud following me around everywhere.

[00:02:26]Actually, you can sit on my my shoulder while I cut the lawn, while I blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Look at my routine. All these things I got to do today. You're going to come with me.

[00:02:37]Compared to freaking out, catastrophizing, analyzing, trying to figure out, trying to fix, ruminating all day, adding gasoline to the fire.

[00:02:45]huge difference. We're letting that energy flow through us instead of stopping it. What you resist persists.

[00:02:52]We're telling the brain, "This is dangerous. We're trying to get rid of danger." The brain alarm stay on.

[00:02:57]Actually, the system starts to climb.

[00:03:00]The baseline climbs and then you get yourself into more deeper survival state at a thousand, the red zone. We're trying to let that system calm down by taking away the resistance, taking away the fight.

[00:03:13]And then I would say six months in, right, this is when you start to integrate and allow and process the energy that's behind it for three to five minutes each.

[00:03:27]It's a bit of a learning curve.

[00:03:28]Actually, it took me 10 minutes the first month or two to do the processing, which is like this. Okay, Limbi, this time we're going to integrate. We're going to dissolve it in my chest. Show me the fear. show me what you got, whatever it is. And I would picture that purple cloud and I invite it in right through my my chest and my throat. Let it dissolve and let it float through, right? The beginning it took me about 10 minutes because I was trying to get the process right. I was trying to picture it passing through me, right? Because it's a learning curve, right? So, all right. I got Okay, let me try that again. Oh, I Okay, this is allowing.

[00:04:10]This is processing. This is integrating.

[00:04:12]This is consuming this. This is like this is like a vortex right here, a black hole vortex. And we're consuming this energy.

[00:04:21]And we're letting it dissolve. We're letting it finish in our body so that that energy can go back to where it came from. We neutralize this energy because it's right. It's this energy that hasn't finished and we need to process it. And then it it neutralizes and goes back to something else that the body or the brain needs to, you know, oh, we got extra. Okay, we get let's empty that alostatic load. Now we got some extra energy. We can put it somewhere else, right? We're not so overwhelmed. Thank you. So that's the goal. We start to dissolve that dark energy, shadow, right? It's a bit of like shadow work processing, uh, updating the software also.

[00:05:04]And you know, taking away the resistance, I would say I was constantly doing that throughout the day. It wasn't something that I was like, "Oh, I got to do it in 2 minutes. Oh, I got to do okay, I'm going to do it. I got to do it." Like, it wasn't something I scheduled in all day because that would drive you crazy, right? It's just something that you naturally flow with because your brain is sending you thousands of things for you to process and take away the resistance of, right?

[00:05:26]You got thousands and thousands of thoughts, sensations, feelings on your plate that are waiting that are waiting for your answer. They're waiting for the update.

[00:05:37]We got thousands of opportunities on this plate every day.

[00:05:42]So if you screw it up, don't worry.

[00:05:44]You're going to get lots more, right? So if you were like me, I screwed everything up. I hope you do because that's how you really learn, right? So, opportunities come up, a pain, a thought, a would have thought, right?

[00:05:57]For me, this is what I I try to explain is sometimes it's confusing.

[00:06:02]For me, 95% of my alarms were everyday alarms. They made exorcisms jealous. They were intense, right? But they were the everyday alarms. They were like a rotating menu.

[00:06:16]But then I had like this 5% like two or three alarms that were really big.

[00:06:21]Right? You get the small alarms that are really noisy and at you every day, right? The Tuesday alarms different than the Thursday alarm. They take each other's place. But then you get these big alarms, maybe one or two. Some people might have three. They kind of follow you around and they have a lot of oomph, a lot of pull. And you might not have the capacity to face, to erase, right? to feel, to heal, to process, to integrate because it's just too much.

[00:06:51]You don't have capacity yet. So, it's okay to leave it on the shelf or let it follow you around. Let it sit on your shoulder.

[00:07:01]When you do the work more, couple more months, maybe 6 months, then you can start processing it bit by bit.

[00:07:10]And the thing is, if you want to know, you you're going to find out. The best way to know is to find out, right? This is when we have the crashes, right? When we did that thing, we ate that piece of food, we had we tried to do that uh allow that thing for too long, then you have a crash, right? Some of my crashes lasted a week or two because I did that thing and I didn't know, right? That that wasn't for nothing. It sucked. You you spiral a bit for two weeks, right?

[00:07:42]But you get back on the path and you learn. You go, "Okay, that was too much.

[00:07:46]That was outside of my training zone.

[00:07:48]We're not going to do that again."

[00:07:50]Right? But I know where I'm at. Good.

[00:07:53]Right? Fast forward a year. You do that same thing. It only you get the crash.

[00:07:58]It turns into a flare that only lasts two to three days. That's it.

[00:08:03]Right? So I say for the first six months to a year, it's up to you.

[00:08:08]Right? just get into a routine and it's okay if you back off a bit if you don't feel like you're ready because I know I wasn't during that time. I remember talking to a friend of mine who was fully recovered and we were talking about exposure and she was telling me how at her level she was able to face fully head first, right? do the things, put them in her inner routine, and just go head first in the things. And I said, "That's amazing.

[00:08:40]I resonate with that. I know that's the way out." But some of the descriptions that you're telling me, I'm trying to put myself in in your shoes. I don't think I'm ready for that. Right. And then I remember her telling me, "No, you're you might not be, but just know that's the next level.

[00:08:57]That's when you're going to be like running towards your your triggers, your thoughts, feelings, sensations, whatever it is, and hunting, right? And I did get to that level, but not for, you know, the first 6 months to a year. I didn't do that. All I did was follow the routine and let things come to me because we got plenty on our plate, right? And if you sometimes catch yourself doing the thing that's too much, that's okay. It's not the end of the world, right? You flood a little bit. It's okay. So, it's going to happen. It has to happen. We're human. When you go on this journey, you're going to have the times where you flood yourself. You do too much. You blah blah blah blah blah.

[00:09:40]It's all over the place. What do you expect, right? It's going to happen.

[00:09:44]Don't be so hard on yourself. It doesn't mean you're failing. Doesn't mean you got to start all over from the beginning. It doesn't mean you're not healing. This is why it took me three years because you're in the trenches.

[00:09:54]You're showing up every day. Do you think you're going to be doing it perfectly? No. Right? The journey's like this, right? You're going to [ __ ] it up.

[00:10:01]You're going to crash. You're going to freak out. You're going to spiral.

[00:10:03]Symptoms are going to come and go. New symptoms, old symptoms. It's going to be a [ __ ] show.

[00:10:09]But you're going to go to you're going to cross the finish line and you're going to fully recover. This is why.

[00:10:13]This is the catch. This is why it's just a [ __ ] show from the beginning all the way to the end.

[00:10:19]The brain's always trying to find ways to get your attention. Symptoms get worse, more intense. It throws a kitchen sink at you, right? This is what it's all about. So, understand that you're human. It's okay to have a a light training zone that you can stick to every day. Once in a while, you you'll overdo it. It happens, right? And then within, you know, when you're eight months into into this, a year into this, even a year and a half if you want. It's up to you cuz you're the mindful gardener. You're the one that's your own guide. You're the one pulling yourself into this. You're the one that has to live with this work, right? So, do it in a way that you'll know you'll keep showing up. So, if you want to stretch it out a bit, that's okay. And then eventually, you'll get into a to to the point like I did where I went head first with all the exposures. I ran towards them. Thoughts, feelings, sensations, right? And then my big alarms, I started to slowly face them, integrate them. bit by bit, right? I started uh doing all the things that were too much. I was shaky probably for six months to eight months, right? Because I was doing all the things. I was like, "Okay, I'm afraid of that. That's my target." Fear was my target. It told me where to go and I ran towards that that whatever the target was, right? If it was going to the beach, it felt like a war zone.

[00:11:44]Going outside, too much. Everything was too much, right? I said, "Well, we're doing it."

[00:11:50]And not only are we doing it, we got to keep doing it because if you only do it once a month, it goes back to the old programming. It doesn't have enough impact to change the association to update. So, you got to do that thing that makes you uncomfortable three to four times a week. So, pick something, go to the grocery store, right? Do it a couple three to four times a week consistently, right? Don't run through the grocery store and have it be a survival test.

[00:12:17]Take your time. Start having conversations. Go to the grocery uh till, right? Go to the cashier that has the longest lineup. Really torture yourself a bit. Stretch it out. Right?

[00:12:29]In the beginning, I get it. You're going to survive. We're human. We survive.

[00:12:33]Allow. Survive. White knuckle. Allow.

[00:12:34]Allow. Allow. Survive. Survive. Survive.

[00:12:36]That's how it really realistically is.

[00:12:38]Then eventually you're going to challenge yourself. And let's say the one year mark, eight month mark. Some people can do this earlier. It's amazing.

[00:12:48]But realistically, if I think about it, I think it was near the eighth month mark that I started totally exposing myself to things.

[00:12:58]And then a year and a half into it, it was like, let's go.

[00:13:03]Everything is on the table. Let's go 100% head first. Oh, that thing is scary.

[00:13:10]Let's do it a lot. I was shaky a lot. My I was right. I was constantly triggering a stress response, right? My my system was constantly activated.

[00:13:24]And you know what? I'm going to tell you, when you get to that point, you're ready. You have capacity. It sucks. It's hard. But when you do it that way, right, let's say a year and a half into it, when you do it that that way, and you go, you know, all in every day, it it you catapult forward in your journey.

[00:13:45]catapult forward. Other people are still they're like still way over there. You move ahead of people within months. You beat people that that are still it takes them five years.

[00:13:56]I noticed this, right? Some of the people in the brain retraining world, I was doing it this way. The the methods that I'm teaching you, right? I was moving forward in leaps and bounds and the progress that I made, it's still five years later, they were still being they were still triggering about the same [ __ ] And I was like, I'm a beast. Right? You're going to start noticing that when you look back, wow, I don't get triggered by this.

[00:14:22]That's not overwhelming anymore. Uh, I still feel uncomfortable with that, but I'm still doing it every day. I don't mind. I still go. It sucks. But you know what? I'm doing it. My willingness to do the uncomfortable thing, I'm doing it anyway. That's that's what matters, right? So, a lot of this is finding out for yourself.

[00:14:40]You got to take action. You got to find out what's a good training zone for you so you show up every day. But the thing is, this is where I want to be clear. I don't want you getting too comfortable.

[00:14:55]Don't lie to yourself. Don't go, "Well, helmet said I can take it easy. So, I'm going to do [ __ ] all and self soo myself for two years and do nothing and not move forward and still get triggered constantly." Right?

[00:15:07]You can wait until you have a flow with the work and then you got to start getting uncomfortable. Then you got to start making exorcisms jealous. There's just no way. You got to go through it to overcome it. Remember, there's people that I know, right? They're like, "Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay." And then they avoid it. They're like, "Not yet." And they keep avoiding it. It just becomes a part of their routine lifestyle to avoid it constantly. It's like, "When are you going to stop doing that? You're ready.

[00:15:31]Let's go." Or you'll never be ready.

[00:15:33]It'll always You're always telling it.

[00:15:35]We're we're avoiding this danger. So the brain goes, "Ah, okay. Activate the alarms. We're that's dangerous, right?

[00:15:41]You're you're reprogramming it there to tell it that you're walking. You're tiptoeing around this sleeping tiger.

[00:15:48]Okay, we're not ready yet, right? Eventually you got to face it.

[00:15:56]So, I don't want to enable people to take it [ __ ] easy and not do the work and not go towards their triggers.

[00:16:03]But I also want to be, you know, reasonable and not push it so hard that you're like frustrated and and you're like, "Yeah, but I can't.

[00:16:11]It's too much. It's like I'm overwhelmed." Yeah, you make the call.

[00:16:14]You decide. You're allowed to make the changes. You're allowed to go lighter if you need. It's up to you. You got to do it right. I did it my way. I found my sweet spot.

[00:16:25]I went a little late in the beginning.

[00:16:27]So I had a routine. So I had a flow and then I ramped it up by a thousand.

[00:16:36]Right? I was all in head first, right? I went towards everything. I started to hunt. I started to do all the crazy [ __ ] consistently, constantly. And I started moving forward in leaps and bounds. And it was the most hardest, most uncomfortable thing. I was triggering myself every day. Yeah, I was going towards the triggers. I wanted more triggers. I'm like, "Give me more. Let's get out there and recalibrate. Give me more. I need to be triggered. I don't like that. Let's go. Let's go. Give me more." Right? I used to go I used to ask for more, right? I It's like, what do you call those people? Those SNM type people that like to they have whips and chains and they like to I don't know, right?

[00:17:14]Torture themselves and [ __ ] I was kind of like that, right? So, but it's up to you. You choose your training zone. one that you're in the beginning somewhat comfortable with, but eventually you got to get uncomfortable. You have to challenge yourself. You have to expose yourself to the triggers and that always sucks, right? And if you flood, okay, you now you know it's not the end of the world.

[00:17:40]It's actually golden information for you.

[00:17:44]Okay, let's pull back. I'm not going to do that again. Let's write it down. Have a little log book of the things that you did that were too much. or the new symptoms that you got, right? But don't obsess over. Put it away on the shelf because the next time you do that, go, "What did I do? I had the banana chips.

[00:17:59]It [ __ ] me out. What did I Right? Read it. Oh, it lasted a week. It was uncomfortable, but it passed. I was fine afterwards."

[00:18:09]Right? It makes you go through the delays quicker with confidence.

[00:18:15]Don't allow like there's some people in this space in the mind body space not seeing in my community hopefully right there's people that are allowing for 3 hours at a time for one session and they're just you know constantly integrating which which what happens when you do that you're sitting on the couch you're trying to integrate for three hours four hours at a time and allow because everybody thinks allowing is the only thing you have to do. It's not. You end up getting sucked into the rumination and you pour gasoline on the fire. The alarm system goes up and you get trapped, right? When when you add gasoline to the fire, you get sucked into the what if thoughts, right? And then you restart the trauma loop. Then you're going to lose. That's how it goes. The brain's going to hijack you. You're going to lose. You're supposed to lose.

[00:19:06]Especially if you sit down on the couch all day and ruminate and then you rest and you wake up which ruins the flow of your day, right? And then they watch a meditation and they go back to allowing for three hours. They're not walking. They're not stabilizing the nervous system. They're not cleansing the pallet. They're not visualizing. They're not elevating. You got to move the body. Right. Right. And we're allowing throughout the day anyway, but only for 3 to 5 minutes. We want to have small activations, controlled little fires. That's what you want, right? You open the door, behind the door is the activation, the trigger, the thing that we want to expose yourself to. Then we close the door.

[00:19:45]Okay? We integrate, we allow, we move on. We don't want to open that door for 3 hours, right? Because the fire is behind there because you're going to get burned.

[00:19:55]So just quick ah, okay, I didn't like that. Integrate, move on. Not for three hours, right? You flood this.

[00:20:03]You flood yourself. You don't move forward, you move backwards, right? So, there's people in the world that are like, "Oh, allowing that's all I got to do." And then that's all they do, right?

[00:20:13]And then they ruminate and they freak out and they flood themselves. They get new symptoms and then, right, they get worse and worse and worse. Don't be like them. That's why you have a routine.

[00:20:23]That's why you have the pillars. It's well-rounded. It's perfect. Right? The program that I have is a hybrid that fits perfectly together and complements each other. So trust, follow it and you are your own guide. If you got to pull back some, right, pull back. It's your training zone and learn from your setbacks, your flares, and when you flood yourself in your crashes. Learn from them and take that information and change it up, tweak it. So, just to recap, in the beginning, just try to get into the flow of the work. Make sure you're consistent, right? That's all I was trying to do in the beginning. And just taking away the resistance, letting the triggers just sit on your shoulder while you follow the routine. And and show up every day, never miss a day. And then you start when you think think you're ready. It's up to you, right? For me, it was a year into this, I started going full steam ahead. Head head first, right? I asked for more and I ran towards all the triggers. Every once in a while, I'll leave some testimonials of what some of the people are saying in the community so you can kind of see what it's like being in the trenches and from people that are exactly like you that are just starting or in the middle or close to the end. And if you want to be a part of a great community, join up. It's only $30 a month. You get the alarm system reset program. Hey guys, hope you have a nice day.

[00:21:56]Beautiful weekend.

[00:21:58]Um, beautiful blue sky, bit of breeze, the planes flying over, right? Let's have a thought.

[00:22:09]What uh Helmet was saying yesterday about the uh heads on.

[00:22:15]Oh my goodness. Thousand% right. Guys look we all thinking I cannot do this or I cannot do that. I'm going to wait with this. I'm going to wait with that. So with me was exactly the same. Um cannot do the floor. Cannot finish a little bit of floor doing laminate floor. Okay. No, I have to wait one year. I cannot do a little bit painting on the doors. No, I cannot do it. And that was eight months ago, right? All that [ __ ] hit me last July. Beautiful Canada Day. All the storms hit me. You know, all those alarms. I'm not going to say them. It's hundreds of them. Anyway, you you guys all know um since then, you know, roller coaster, googling, searching, Facebooking, all that [ __ ] Exactly what Helmet was saying, exactly that to that. Right now, I said to myself, okay, that was before I joined the group, maybe a week before.

[00:23:07]I have to do this, this, this, and that.

[00:23:09]No matter what, I have to finish the laminate floor. I have to paint some doors. I have to freaking do something on the tas. I have to [ __ ] do do that but I can't. You can't. No, you can't.

[00:23:18]No, [ __ ] you can't. Okay, so I did it anyway. Told you I cannot do it. So the heads on you have to face it. You have to face it heads on. You have to face it no matter what. Doesn't matter if it's after 6 months, 8 months, and one year.

[00:23:31]If you feel they can do it, I think don't wait. Like Helmet was saying, you catapult yourself, right? So first was I finished. You know the joy I felt like [ __ ] I did it. Well, I feel the same. I not feel the worst. No. Wow. I did it.

[00:23:48]So, okay. Let's try to paint those doors. And I paint those doors, right?

[00:23:51]Oh my god. I moved some stuff. Then my wife was asking me, "Oh, can you do some shelving?" Shelving. [ __ ] hate shelving, right? And I was putting away, put And today, [ __ ] Okay, let's do those shelving. But I Oh my god, you cannot do shelves. You cannot do. You're going to get dizzy. All that [ __ ] right? Guess what? The [ __ ] shelves are in no [ __ ] business at all.

[00:24:10]Right. So the heads on it's actually I think for all of us it's like it's like yeah give me some alarming give me some boo boo give me some woo and then you go okay you give me the boo boo but I did it right but you told me I cannot do it but I did it right so it's exactly spot I think that I think the heads on full steam of course everybody have a capacity right and know when And how we have to try no matter what. No matter what. And the last thing guys, the vision, the visual visualiz visualization.

[00:24:48]I have a beautiful one today with all of you. So imagine all our group, all the members, we all going to Fiji, the island, and they have those little houses there with a beautiful lagoon. The lagoon is amazing.

[00:25:05]And all those little houses of decks and they have like a glass floors and you can see the dolphins, you can see all the [ __ ] there right down there. And they have those little slides. So when you the slides comes from the teras, it goes to the ocean. And when one of us, every one of us are there. All those people hold not included. And you know what we talking about?

[00:25:27]How great have this group which doesn't need support anymore because we all perfectly fine laughing how fast we recover and how good we recover and they were perfect people. So that's reminding to myself and to each and one of you that whenever [ __ ] hit the fence and it hit the fence few times a day, half a day, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what kind of mess physical, mental, whatever. Just rewind it. I could do this. Some lady put it, I couldn't vacuum for 8 months, right? And she did. Yeah. Rewind that, right? Like myself, rewind that bloody floor. Rewind that door. Rewind that shelf. Rewind the groceries you [ __ ] go Saturday, Sunday, all day, every single week. No one else can do it.

[00:26:15]I'm saying what I'm saying is the job helmet does for us.

[00:26:22]I don't know the guy. I just joined. But it's amazing. It's amazing. Like you rewind stuff he's saying in your brain and you implement it. It's skyrocketing.

[00:26:33]Okay.

[00:26:35]See, even I'm talking too much. Even energy is beautiful. Look, beautiful sky.

[00:26:44]Peace brothers and sisters.