Girl Talk: Feeling "Not Enough"? The Truth About Comparison & Social Media

Added: 2026-04-29

[00:00:06]Hey everyone, welcome to this special edition of the My Beyond Life podcast.

[00:00:11]We're just simply calling this one >> Girl Talk.

[00:00:15]>> Every day my daughter Sarah and I walk and we just talk and we have the best conversations, the deepest conversations.

[00:00:24]We we talk life out and that's what we wanted to do on these weeks where we don't have life group over here. We wanted to give you guys a podcast and kind of take a walk with us and have a talk with us here on these special episodes of our podcast. Today's episode we're going to dive into social media comparison, how to deal with our her, all the things that we've honestly been talking about this week. Like this is real life for us. So, we just kind of wanted to take y'all on some things we've learned this week. I mean, you're definitely going to know way more than me. Um, but it's just a lot of stuff we've been talking about this week and we just wanted to take y'all with us.

[00:01:05]So, yeah, join us today on this special episode. So, today's conversation is one I think every woman has kind of felt at some point. Why do I still feel less than? Even though I know who God says I am, why do I still compare myself? I think comparison is a demon we all fight. I fight it. Um, I really didn't realize what a competitive person I am until I married your dad and then realized I am out for blood half the time. Monopoly games are not nice. Um, aggravation, he takes that one to another level. And I found that competitive and comparative are not only close in spelling, they're close in living it out.

[00:01:49]>> Yeah.

[00:01:50]>> And I am bad because I don't want to just be as good as. I want to be better than.

[00:01:57]>> Yeah.

[00:01:58]>> Really? I I want to be the best.

[00:02:00]>> Oh yeah.

[00:02:01]>> And so it can be a demon for me just like it is everybody else. I don't want anybody to ever think that leadership reaches a level where they don't struggle because I do. And I think this is one where women, especially now with technology the way that it is and social media the way that it is, it is a demon we all fight. But I think it can be a battle that's winnable, but you got to see the battle. You got to be aware of it and be like, "Okay, now wait a minute. What am I doing here? This is not truth. I'm not going to go down this road. I'm putting up a a roadblock here. My thoughts aren't going to go down that rabbit hole. I'm not going to look at that woman with suspicion. I'm not going to assign motives to her. I'm going to look at her just as a fellow soldier in the trenches who's fighting. Why am I looking at her like the enemy?

[00:03:02]And I think sometimes as women, and I've said this in class before, we've missed out on so many friendships, what could have been a true wonderful friend because we've looked at her as the enemy.

[00:03:19]>> And I've been guilty of that.

[00:03:24]It's It's hard.

[00:03:25]>> Why does her success equal my failure?

[00:03:28]>> Yeah.

[00:03:30]Why can't I just be happy for her? Why do I feel like I need to one up her?

[00:03:38]>> Yeah.

[00:03:38]>> And that's a heart check that every woman needs needs to to go down and be like, you know what, that's just ugly.

[00:03:49]>> Yeah. And I need to deal with that because otherwise it's like the weeds that your sister refuses to pull because that's her job she hates more than anything.

[00:04:03]And she just she won't pull it. So her dad goes behind her and sprays the weed killer. And it's like, okay, I've got a flower bed in my head full of weeds.

[00:04:12]>> Yeah.

[00:04:13]>> That I'm not pulling or spraying.

[00:04:16]I'm just acting like they're not there.

[00:04:17]I try to cover it up with mulch. Yeah, >> but a few days later it sticks up through the mulch even stronger than it is, you know, than it was before. So, compar comparing and competitive uh streaks in us. We've got to see them, >> not just act like they're not there.

[00:04:39]>> Yeah.

[00:04:40]>> What do you think about women in your generation? Because I'm sitting here >> in this generation. What does comparison look like for you guys?

[00:04:50]>> Oh, I mean, I definitely think it's a real thing with social media. I mean, you're scrolling and then here's somebody with the picture perfect house, the picture perfect family. Like, I know growing up y'all never had that. You compared to your peers. Now, we're comparing to the entire globe of everyone. People you may never know. You have no idea who this person is, but they're telling you that their house is clean all the time. Come to a Sunday reset with me. and you're like, "Uh, have you seen my house?"

[00:05:18]>> No amount of resets would fix it.

[00:05:20]>> Yeah.

[00:05:21]>> Um, it's definitely hard. I mean, everybody's giving you advice on how you should be living your life and telling you, "Buy this product. It'll fix you."

[00:05:30]And >> obsessed with this.

[00:05:31]>> I'm obsessed with this product.

[00:05:33]>> Run out and get it right now.

[00:05:34]>> And so, you sit there thinking, "Oh, I'm a failure. I don't have that product."

[00:05:38]Or, "My boyfriend or my husband didn't go get me flowers today." Like, so we're not just comparing ourselves. We're comparing our people and nobody can live up to those expectations of the entire globe. I mean, everybody's posting their highlight reel and that's all you see.

[00:05:54]So, it's very hard. I mean, you're comparing yourself to everyone, not just your peers.

[00:05:59]>> Yep. I think it made the playing field >> endless.

[00:06:02]>> Yeah.

[00:06:03]>> Um, one thing I tell myself is reals aren't real.

[00:06:08]>> Yeah, that's good.

[00:06:10]>> You know, reals aren't real. We need to be able to tell the difference between a highlight reel and real life.

[00:06:17]>> Yeah.

[00:06:18]>> And I mean, I've done the videos where everything is pushed off to the side.

[00:06:22]You know how that is.

[00:06:24]>> Yeah. That's how you film it.

[00:06:25]>> And and everything looks great in the lens >> cuz you don't want everybody to see your mess, >> right? And so you just you look and you're like, "Her quiet time is perfect."

[00:06:38]girls, I don't really film my quiet time as it is in real time most of the time >> because if I'm doing that, then I'm focusing on my filming.

[00:06:49]>> Yep.

[00:06:50]>> And not the Bible that's open in front of me, which looks good in a video.

[00:06:54]>> But I I've had to draw a line because it can't creep in that time because that time has to be sacred.

[00:07:01]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:07:02]>> It has to be sacred. Something some things in life need to be sacred.

[00:07:06]>> Yeah. you putting on your makeup, the world doesn't need to see it.

[00:07:11]>> You know, just some things need to be safe spaces >> and my quiet time has had to become a safe space.

[00:07:17]>> So, if I'm filming something, a lot of times I'm filming it later on in the day >> because you ain't you don't need to be seeing me in my PJs with no makeup on.

[00:07:25]There's a limit to what the realness Miss Amy can be. So, all right. What's next?

[00:07:31]>> All right.

[00:07:33]So definitely social media plays a huge huge role in this. Um that's definitely why it's so common. Um I would say how do we handle the social media pressure since it is so real for our generation and now yours? How do you think is a good way to know the truth going into it and also to make it like reality? like not just I know it's not real, but you're still seeing it and still feeling the feelings, >> right? Discernment, self-awareness.

[00:08:06]>> Yeah.

[00:08:07]>> Okay. Um and then sometimes we need to get kind of good and stubborn >> and be like, I'm only going to be influenced to a point.

[00:08:18]>> Yeah.

[00:08:20]>> Who are your influencers and what gives them the right to tell me what I need to buy?

[00:08:26]>> Yeah. What gives them the right to tell me what I need to be obsessed with?

[00:08:31]>> Yeah.

[00:08:32]>> And what gives them the right to put that pressure on me to be perfect?

[00:08:38]>> That's good.

[00:08:38]>> Because I'm not going to give them that power.

[00:08:43]>> So I need to look at what I'm following and I need to look at my feed because your feed is like your self-t talk.

[00:08:51]>> Oh yeah, that's good. And it's like, okay, I can control. I can unfollow.

[00:08:57]>> Yeah.

[00:08:58]>> I can not like I could even report something that's not healthy.

[00:09:04]>> Yeah.

[00:09:04]>> And that's not real. I know it's a scam.

[00:09:06]>> Yeah.

[00:09:07]>> Well, can we not report some scams >> that's going on up here? Well, yes. Yes, I think we can.

[00:09:15]>> Yeah, >> I think we can report some things that that's not truth.

[00:09:20]>> That's not really that person. That's all AI. That's, you know, that's Satan back there pulling the puppet strings and saying she needs to see this. And do you not think Satan can control the ads on your Facebook? I know he can because he does me.

[00:09:35]>> Yeah.

[00:09:36]>> Oh, here's a weak spot. Let's exploit it.

[00:09:38]>> Yep. Every time.

[00:09:40]>> So, why don't we police that and be like, "This is not coming across my thought feed."

[00:09:46]>> Yeah. And if you see it, keep scrolling.

[00:09:51]Don't do like I do and read the comments, >> which make you even matter when you see the comments and you're like, there really are that many stupid people in the world.

[00:09:59]>> Yes.

[00:09:59]>> I can't believe they're buying this or whatever. But then I've I've spent >> 10 minutes of my life just looking at something that makes me mad. Life is too short.

[00:10:09]>> It really is. So I think we need to set limits and boundaries and we need to police that.

[00:10:17]>> If your feed is not edifying and if your feed is not helping you, police that.

[00:10:26]>> Yeah.

[00:10:26]>> And and stop gorging on the toxic because and then and then complaining about being toxic.

[00:10:33]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:34]>> Well, you've just sat down and feasted on toxicity and then you're wondering why you're spewing. Yeah.

[00:10:40]>> And feeling toxicity.

[00:10:42]>> You're right.

[00:10:43]>> So, one of just a practical something that I'm really really trying to do and I'm seeing a big difference in my thoughts and my patterns throughout the day is not picking up my phone >> for at least 30 minutes.

[00:11:01]Those first 30 minutes are sacred minutes. And as soon as you see that blue light and as soon as you see those images and the music changing and the everything in your mind just bam bam bam coming at you. I mean think about it.

[00:11:17]You open your eyes and within three minutes you roll over the devices in your hands and your brain doesn't even get a chance to wake up.

[00:11:29]>> Right? And so it's almost like forcing yourself on the treadmill when it's running full speed.

[00:11:37]>> Yeah.

[00:11:38]>> And that's that's not healthy.

[00:11:42]>> It's not healthy. So we need some time to wake up.

[00:11:46]>> Yeah.

[00:11:47]>> And we need some time to kind of stick our toes in the water a little bit and guard our day.

[00:11:56]If you guard the start, you'll guard the rest of it.

[00:12:00]>> Yeah.

[00:12:01]>> But if you don't guard the start, you ain't got a snowballs chance.

[00:12:05]>> Yeah.

[00:12:06]>> In the rest of your day. So that's something I am that those first 30 minutes sacred.

[00:12:12]>> I'm going to get up, do my morning routine, and I'm going to get sed seated and I'm going to start working on my quiet time. And then a little bit later, I'll check to make sure that there's no messages that were 911s that I need to pay attention to.

[00:12:28]>> Then I will leave it upstairs, go and finish my quiet time >> because having your phone anywhere within the vicinity of your quiet time will kill it >> every time >> because we're just too add.

[00:12:45]>> Yeah.

[00:12:45]>> And Satan doesn't want the quiet time.

[00:12:48]So, Satan will use this as a tool.

[00:12:51]>> Yeah.

[00:12:52]>> He will use it as a tool. A hammer can be constructive or destructive.

[00:12:58]It's just all in what hand it's in. It can be used to build up or tear down.

[00:13:04]>> Your phone is the same way. Technology is the same way. Satan will use it as a destructive tool if it's anywhere near your quiet time vicinity.

[00:13:15]So that's a challenge I'm going to give everybody out there. Guard the first 30 minutes. Like your life depends on it because it does.

[00:13:24]>> Yeah. Oh yeah. That's very good.

[00:13:26]Definitely something we face every day.

[00:13:28]How many times do we pick up our phone and our screen time is like you've been on your phone all day and God's up there going, "Well, how many times did you speak to me today?" I It's It's very very very convicting. It is. I mean, we've all been seen that number and been like, "Oh my word, I could have gotten so much done."

[00:13:45]>> Yeah.

[00:13:45]>> But I was on the stupid phone >> all day.

[00:13:48]>> It if you will be aware of it, you can attack it.

[00:13:54]>> But if you're clueless and you just keep doing what you've always done out of habit, >> yeah, it is a habit.

[00:14:01]>> Then your habits are controlling you and that's destructive any way you look at it.

[00:14:07]>> Yeah. So, it's just a it's just being aware.

[00:14:10]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:14:11]>> It's being aware of it and being like, I'm not going to let this little handheld device rule me.

[00:14:20]>> Yeah.

[00:14:21]>> And steal my minutes.

[00:14:25]Remember when you were little and she was going through a phase? Oh, mama's out there. It's all phases. Just hang on.

[00:14:33]This child right here like killed me in a home school because it took her forever to get an assignment done. And she would make a 30 minute assignment last three hours. And I finally just had to walk away and let her suffer the three-hour consequence because control freak over here kept trying to help her.

[00:14:54]But I remember having that conversation with you every day. It's like pennies or dollars in your piggy bank because this is that child's language is money.

[00:15:03]>> She's a saver like her dad.

[00:15:05]>> And so I would say you're spending your minutes.

[00:15:08]>> What are you spending your minutes on?

[00:15:10]Because once you spend that dollar, it's gone.

[00:15:13]>> Yeah.

[00:15:13]>> And once you spend that minute, it's gone. Are you investing your minutes or spending them?

[00:15:22]>> Because you're going to get a return on those investment. those quiet time minutes. I'm gonna get a return on those scrolling.

[00:15:29]I'm just pouring money down the drain.

[00:15:32]And I know it's something I'm working on, too. I am not great at this, but I'm working on getting better.

[00:15:40]>> No.

[00:15:41]>> Oh, yeah. For sure. It's It's like minutes. It goes so quick and we really don't realize how quick it goes until we turn around and we're like, "Where did where did the time go? Where did the time go? So, a question I wanted to ask you. What are some real practical steps we can take this week to stop this cycle of scrolling, comparing, scrolling, comparing, feeling bad about ourselves?

[00:16:05]How do we stop that? What choices do we need to make?

[00:16:09]>> Um, hit unfollow on influencers or and girls, we all got them. I call them our hers.

[00:16:19]We see, we're fine, and then we see them, and it's the immediate eye roll.

[00:16:25]Y'all know what I'm talking about.

[00:16:26]>> Oh, yeah. We all got them.

[00:16:27]>> Okay. Why are they still getting permission >> to be on your feed?

[00:16:32]>> Yeah.

[00:16:33]>> Because now they're in this feed.

[00:16:37]This feed feeds on that feed.

[00:16:40]So, control what you feed.

[00:16:43]I'm not going to eat the junk. I'm not going to consume the junk because it becomes consuming to me >> and then in the end I'm consumed.

[00:16:53]>> Yeah.

[00:16:54]>> So it's being aware.

[00:16:56]Start thinking about your thinking.

[00:17:00]Start thinking about what you're putting in the input and start filtering.

[00:17:09]Start filtering. Um, and just be like, "God, I'm going to be prayerful about this. I'm not just going to let Facebook or Instagram or Tik Tok or all the things just put things in front of me without making them pass through a filter.

[00:17:26]>> I'm going to put some place things in place. I'm going to put a time limit in place and I'm not going to hit ignore."

[00:17:32]>> Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

[00:17:34]>> Ignore for today.

[00:17:36]>> Yeah. Not even the reminded 15 minutes.

[00:17:38]Oh, we >> bypass. ignore for today.

[00:17:40]>> Ignore for today and I'll deal with it tomorrow.

[00:17:43]>> Tomorrow and then tomorrow, what do we do? Ignore for today.

[00:17:49]>> So, you know, being aware, keeping it away from you to where you have to get up and go get it.

[00:17:56]>> If you work from home, don't have it on the couch beside of you.

[00:17:59]>> Yeah.

[00:18:00]>> Um, you know, those just just kind of helping yourself out. It's like when you're dieting, you don't buy the junk food because if you buy the junk food, you're going to eat the junk food. So controlling our environment >> a little bit more and what comes across that feed. That's a very practical thing that we can do for sure.

[00:18:17]>> So if you're listening just think, okay, what are some steps that I can take if it's leaving my phone and away from my bed?

[00:18:27]>> Yeah.

[00:18:28]>> I'm going to go charge it across the room and then I'm going to have my 30 minutes of quiet time and I'm not going to check it. And if you start walking over there out of habit to check it, you stop in your tracks.

[00:18:41]>> Yeah.

[00:18:42]>> And say out loud, "No, >> no, I'm not bowing to the idol this morning.

[00:18:55]I'm going to bow to God instead."

[00:18:58]>> And that means I'm going to make my time bow. My habits bow.

[00:19:01]>> Yeah, that's very good. Now, I know you talked about comparing yourself to her.

[00:19:05]What do you do if your her is in your church, is in your friend group, is in your workplace, like she's just there.

[00:19:13]So, we've talked about it for social media. How do we handle it so we don't miss on out on friendships because we're comparing, right?

[00:19:19]>> But how do we practically handle that?

[00:19:21]>> I think you ask God first of all to see her, not watch her.

[00:19:32]Help me see her.

[00:19:36]There's a big >> Yeah.

[00:19:39]>> difference because I don't know about you, I can size a girl up in about three seconds flat.

[00:19:45]>> Yeah.

[00:19:45]>> And I've already got her prejudged.

[00:19:48]>> Yep.

[00:19:48]>> She's this, this, and this. And so, who does she think she is? And so then we distance oursel and we're judgmental and we're critical and we've not ever seen her. We've just watched her >> with a critical eye. and we have them pegged until we realize we don't. When in reality, the pretty girl was actually very nice and battling her own demons and her own insecurity and just wishing someone would come talk to her instead of talk about her.

[00:20:20]So seeing her, asking God to give you eyes to see your her as a real life person with real life hurts and who has needs too. Then I think it's being intentional.

[00:20:35]So intentionally and asking God, intentionally reaching out to her, hey, why don't I go to coffee this week? Um, hey, is there something I can pray with you about?

[00:20:50]Hey, it's good to see you. You look so pretty in your dress. You know, um, how's your little one doing? I heard they were sick. You know, it's it's seeing them, not just, hey, you know what I'm talking about. Okay.

[00:21:05]>> And you and you're just like fakey, fake, fake.

[00:21:08]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:21:08]>> And then she returns with fakey fake fake because you've not made her feel safe. And then you walk away and say, "She's so fake." Well, >> we're just as fake. caught the kettle black and you were the same way. So asking God to see her intentionally reaching out to her then praying for her.

[00:21:24]>> That's big.

[00:21:25]>> That disarms everything.

[00:21:28]>> Yeah.

[00:21:28]>> If you've got a her, ask her what you can pray for her.

[00:21:33]Really pray for her. Don't just give her emoji hands.

[00:21:37]>> Yeah.

[00:21:37]>> Pray for her and then follow up >> the next time you see her. Or give her a text. Hey, how'd that job interview go?

[00:21:45]or hey, how's your mom doing? You know, whatever she asked you to pray about, you've seen her, you've reached out to her, and now you've prayed for her. And it will it will change everything.

[00:21:58]>> Yeah.

[00:21:59]>> When you see them not as a threat, but as shouldertosh shoulder, she's not head and shoulders above you. She's shouldertoshoulder with you in the battle.

[00:22:09]>> Yeah. I mean, if you're fighting for her in prayer, why would you want to fight with her in real life? I mean, there you go. It's definitely that really does disarm kind of anything. I know I've experienced that if I start praying for them and I'm when I see them and I start drawing my eyes here, let's go ahead and pray for them like Lord bless them today. Bless them in their marriage or in their work or with their kids. Like it definitely does kind of disarm any kind of anger or resentment you had towards them at all. Um wrapping up, I wanted to ask you what is a scripture that applies to this that comes to your mind? Um, like all tying it back to scripture, what first comes to your mind? This is my go-to verse for comparison, all the the feeding, the social media, all the insecurities. What is your go-to?

[00:22:54]>> What is the verse? I can't remember where it is, where they compare themselves among themselves, they aren't wise.

[00:23:01]>> Yeah, it's not wise. And when God looks at you and says, "Don't do that."

[00:23:12]>> He knows why. There's a reason why.

[00:23:15]There's a consequence he's trying to keep you from.

[00:23:18]>> Yeah.

[00:23:20]>> And when we compare ourselves amongst ourselves, we're not wise.

[00:23:27]You aren't my enemy. She's not my enemy.

[00:23:31]It's apples and oranges.

[00:23:34]I am over here in my my orange field life wondering why I can't be an apple over here when the apple over here is like, "Oh, citrus would be great."

[00:23:44]>> You know, >> no one's happy with what they have.

[00:23:48]>> Yeah.

[00:23:48]>> And that is Satan's biggest deceit.

[00:23:52]>> Yeah.

[00:23:53]>> Is keeping us unhappy with the blessings that are on our plate right there.

[00:23:59]>> Yeah.

[00:24:00]>> Um it's being grateful for the green beans. There's a story there.

[00:24:04]maybe someday.

[00:24:07]It's being grateful for what's on your plate because it's balanced and it's healthy and it's for your good. So, I really think just any kind of taking those thoughts into captivity, those things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good report, virtue, and praise. All of those things, it's being aware and then being in prayer.

[00:24:28]>> Yeah.

[00:24:30]And then telling yourself no instead of just letting yourself do what you've always done.

[00:24:38]>> Yeah.

[00:24:39]>> The dance is a toxic dance. It's time we change the music.

[00:24:44]>> Yep. It's very good. Very good. So guys, thanks for tuning in this week. We're glad that you came. Um join us next time. Yeah. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled lessons and messages from Miss Amy next week. See y'all later. Bye.