Will she last the night ? Wife goes Wild Camping. Hammock camping in the British Woodland.

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[00:00:02]So, one day a year, my darling wife comes up to me and says, "Lee, let's go and have a camp in the woods." And tonight is that night.

[00:00:13]Have it.

[00:00:15]Little local woodland, hammocks in the trees.

[00:00:20]What do you reckon, Bubba? Uh, it's overgrown.

[00:00:24]Yeah, no, looking forward to it. It's cooler in here than it is out there.

[00:00:27]It's 26° at the moment.

[00:00:29]>> Hotter than Hades outside.

[00:00:32]>> So, we're going to set up some hammocks in between some trees, have a little rum and coke, and a big old steak. Oh, I forgot about the rum and coke. Yeah, I didn't. Oh, nice.

[00:00:43]So, yeah, we'll see you in camp. Nearly fell over.

[00:00:53]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> Right. Let's have a quick look at the setup cuz all you jibber jabbers love a look at the setup.

[00:02:48]I am in this stupendous One Wind double bridge hammock thing.

[00:02:54]Bristol beer.

[00:02:55]I'm a great got a nice cheap and nasty towel. Got [ __ ] and go over the top me like throw.

[00:03:02]But I have treated my wife. Treated her, I tell you.

[00:03:08]Wifey.

[00:03:11]I need popcorn.

[00:03:13]I don't care. Through the keyhole. Tell the people what you're rocking.

[00:03:17]Walk over to it. Oh.

[00:03:19]Sorry. Right.

[00:03:20]Okay.

[00:03:22]So, we have an under quilt.

[00:03:24]What make of under quilt?

[00:03:28]That one. Nope. Oh.

[00:03:31]That one?

[00:03:33]Yes. There you go. It's a One Wind under quilt.

[00:03:36]>> [laughter] >> We have a hammock with a lovely mosquito net.

[00:03:41]What is the hammock?

[00:03:43]It's [ __ ] green and black. It's a hammock. [laughter] We are going >> in trees. We're going tarpless tonight it is an absolutely glorious day.

[00:03:54]Um yeah, should be a really peaceful night. She's already got her chair set up and is stuffing her face full of popcorn. I've still got to set my chair up.

[00:04:02]Let's see what she thinks getting into the bleeding thing. Have you zipped it up?

[00:04:05]>> No, I haven't zipped it up, but it's easy to unzip.

[00:04:09]But I can't believe how many mosquitoes are about already.

[00:04:16]Bloody hell.

[00:04:25]I've got a feeling you need to pump that bed up a little bit more.

[00:04:30]Oh, how hard does it need to be?

[00:04:32]You know it.

[00:04:33]>> [laughter] >> You know that answer.

[00:04:37]Just work it until it's properly hard.

[00:04:39]>> enough for me. I do not want it too hard cuz otherwise it'll be uncomfortable.

[00:04:44]It creates structure.

[00:04:47]That's what it does. It creates structure for the actual hammock.

[00:04:51]So, as you can see, I've got a leaky head already cuz let's face it, I've done all of the work.

[00:04:57]Jack's getting covered up because of the mozzies already, which means she's going to be bitten to buggery by the morning.

[00:05:04]Um I don't think she wants to eat just yet.

[00:05:08]Yeah? We're waiting for a while, Jack.

[00:05:11]What do you mean a while? How long is a I haven't decided yet.

[00:05:14]But it won't be straight away. I'll take you for a little mooch around the woodland.

[00:05:20]Lovely pine forest. Got a couple of uh oak and that in here as well, but it's mostly pine.

[00:05:27]Few birch.

[00:05:29]Do have kids going in building shelters.

[00:05:33]Plenty of tree fall.

[00:05:36]Yeah.

[00:05:37]What can I say?

[00:05:39]It's really quite stunning, isn't it?

[00:05:41]Um as you'll see, there is a lot of trees that have fallen down over there.

[00:05:44]We're camping well away from them.

[00:05:46]We've got a couple of widow makers, but they're not above where our head is.

[00:05:51]Now, we'll make my way back over to my wife who was instantly turned into a pensioner.

[00:05:56]I'm watching the movie at the moment.

[00:05:58]I'm enjoying myself. Popcorn in her hand, watching her hunky chunk of a love me husband stroll around the woods. She likes it when my tushy wiggles.

[00:06:08]Which one?

[00:06:09]Oh, you're so mean.

[00:06:12]I'm the one shoving popcorn down me face. I'm on.

[00:06:16]Uh, yeah.

[00:06:19]More cracker rum and coke. I haven't even put my chair up yet. Yes, please.

[00:06:23]You want a rum and coke already? Yeah.

[00:06:25]You do know how early it is, don't you?

[00:06:27]>> I don't care. I mean, we'll be going to bed by 7:00.

[00:06:36]I don't know why I've got sun uh my shades on still cuz it's not What? Bright. Use your words. You're going all bright.

[00:06:47]I care.

[00:06:48]Oh, we've got a night away from the kids.

[00:06:51]Listen to the birdsong. Right, for one, our kids are like teenagers and we hardly see them anyway cuz they're constantly in their room.

[00:06:58]It's you I want to avoid, but unfortunately, you drag me out on these stupid adventures.

[00:07:04]>> This was your idea.

[00:07:05]Yeah, but if I thought if I get out of the way now, that's it for the whole year. Shut up and drink me.

[00:07:13]This one's going to change your mind.

[00:07:16]It will.

[00:07:18]>> [snorts] >> It will.

[00:07:19]Cuz that is a comfortable hammock.

[00:07:20]You'll be nice and warm.

[00:07:22]And I'm reckoning about 10:00 it's going to transform into a sex swing.

[00:07:26]>> [laughter] [laughter] >> The fact that you think I'm going to still be awake at 10:00 is quite amusing.

[00:07:36]>> You don't need to be awake.

[00:07:39]>> [laughter] [snorts] >> Oh, that was a little bit rapey.

[00:07:44]That was. Yeah. But, you know. Good.

[00:07:47]>> Whatever floats your boat.

[00:07:50]Oh, can't beat peace and quiet.

[00:07:53]Yeah.

[00:07:55]It's got to be said, the view is a lot better than when I camp with Paul and that ginger tosser.

[00:08:00]The ginger? Mhm.

[00:08:02]Yeah, you have a good laugh with ginger.

[00:08:04]And he plays you music all the time.

[00:08:06]>> better company, but I don't like looking at him. All right. He's He always You could put a wig on it.

[00:08:13]He would still be fat and pasty.

[00:08:16]>> fat.

[00:08:18]Look, don't look at me. I know I'm fat.

[00:08:20]Me being fat doesn't negate the others being fat.

[00:08:24]You're bulking up yourself. Am I? Yeah, oh yeah.

[00:08:28]Massively. You're getting a bit of junk on your trunk. Am I? Yeah. You said to me I've got no ass anymore, so make your mind up.

[00:08:33]>> No, no, no. I said you haven't got a very good ass anymore. Oh.

[00:08:39]Is it different?

[00:08:40]Yeah. So, I haven't got a good ass, but I've got a fat ass. Yeah, it looks like cold chicken soup when you put your old tongue tong tong tong on.

[00:08:48]>> [laughter] >> Oh, I love your ass. Mhm.

[00:08:55]>> [laughter] >> Oh, no, no, that can't go in.

[00:09:01][ __ ] will though.

[00:09:03]I've got bug spray.

[00:09:07]Are we going to need it?

[00:09:08]Well, there's plenty of bugs about.

[00:09:11]Is that a bitey bastard? Mhm.

[00:09:14]It's hard to see where they go.

[00:09:16]I don't know where it's gone. That's a bitey bastard. That was a definite bitey bastard.

[00:09:24]You've got bugs on your back. Yeah, that's cuz I've been going around doing all the work.

[00:09:28]>> But, I think What are you shouting at? I know.

[00:09:31]I think it's cuz you've got the white top on. They And I'm sweating.

[00:09:35]Yeah. Yeah. I know it's that.

[00:09:43]Oh.

[00:09:44]Oh, when you go out for a dung outlet and you fall backwards and sit in it.

[00:09:48]I'm all right, thanks.

[00:09:49]I'll wait till the morning.

[00:09:52]Only cuz you had a big curly one before you come.

[00:09:56]You put a flake in it and everything.

[00:09:57]You're a minger.

[00:10:09]But my >> [laughter] >> lady filling her face every 5 minutes.

[00:10:14]>> [laughter] >> She's an absolute liability. Go on, spit a bit of that out. Make yourself look like a right lady.

[00:10:20]Oh, you're going to chuck out a little giggle [ __ ] as well.

[00:10:23]No.

[00:10:25]You're losing your sunglasses and your eyebrows.

[00:10:28]>> [laughter] >> Always fun when the knobies go camping.

[00:10:36]>> [laughter] >> No need to cry, Jack. No need to cry.

[00:10:42]Oh.

[00:10:44]That went right up my oop a joop.

[00:10:47]I think I've actually finished my drink.

[00:10:49]Well, it wouldn't surprise me.

[00:10:51]You're an alcoholic.

[00:10:53]>> [clears throat] >> So, my good lady has already polished a family share bag of popcorn off and is insisting I cook for her.

[00:11:03]Right, it's not for sharing.

[00:11:06]They just say that.

[00:11:08]But it's not. Well, when you're around, it's not.

[00:11:13]So, I'm going to cook up these steaks.

[00:11:16]Do one at a time.

[00:11:17]>> Are you going to move some of those leaves around?

[00:11:19]>> [sighs] >> Well, I don't want you starting a fire.

[00:11:21]Oh, shut up.

[00:11:26]So, yeah, we'll uh do one at a time.

[00:11:29]They're cooked in a bit of butter.

[00:11:30]They've got some Did you just say butter? Well, yes.

[00:11:34]I've got an accent.

[00:11:37]And um what is it? Korean Korean barbecue.

[00:11:45]Yeah. Oh, seasoning. Korean barbecue seasoning.

[00:11:50]Oh, you properly seasoned them. Oh, I properly seasoned them.

[00:11:53]>> Yeah, proper. Proper.

[00:11:56]Now, I was going to use the lard to cook them, but I thought butter would be better. Yeah, butter much better. Okay, I'll just let that melt.

[00:12:04]You're not going to want to get up, are you?

[00:12:06]No.

[00:12:08]What would you need? The grabber on the net in the front of my um What's that called? That thing there.

[00:12:15]You put it on your back. It's a pack.

[00:12:17]It's a backpack. Backpack.

[00:12:19]Backpack back outdoor explorer.

[00:12:22]door Why are you cuddling a dead sheep?

[00:12:25]What What am I doing?

[00:12:27]>> is there's a net. Yeah. Oh my god.

[00:12:33]Never work with women, children, or animals. That's what I do.

[00:12:36]>> Is there anything else you need? No, that's fine.

[00:12:39]Good.

[00:12:42]It's sizzling already.

[00:12:45]Ooh, that's quick heat.

[00:12:47]Quick heat.

[00:12:50]So, we have date hands.

[00:12:54]Oh, dear.

[00:12:55]A big old No, we got two steaks. I'm putting one in at a time.

[00:13:01]You like yours quite bloody, didn't you?

[00:13:03]Medium rare, yes.

[00:13:06]Yes, cuz that's going to happen.

[00:13:08]Do you want to lick my fingers?

[00:13:10]Ugh, do you have any wet wipes?

[00:13:12]Yeah. [laughter] Nice.

[00:13:26]Ugh.

[00:13:35]All right.

[00:13:36]No.

[00:13:38]I'm having the nicest aroma of the butter and the steak.

[00:13:41]>> it your way, that's fine.

[00:13:42]You keep on wafting. [ __ ] Ass Ooh, that does smell nice. It does.

[00:13:55]Do you have smelly breath?

[00:13:57]Ooh.

[00:13:58]That.

[00:13:59]Ooh, what did I do with my bread board?

[00:14:05]Salad.

[00:14:09]Did you actually bring any condiments?

[00:14:11]No.

[00:14:13]Why would I?

[00:14:16]It's seasoned with butter.

[00:14:19]And >> No hot sauce?

[00:14:21]And Korean barbecue.

[00:14:23]There is literally no place for you to keep that.

[00:14:29]Comment in the description below about what >> all of that again.

[00:14:34]>> [laughter] >> I've had a drink.

[00:14:37]I've had a drink. You just comment whether I don't think I need that.

[00:14:42]Whether you should have sauces with your Flip-flops. Can we have a wet comment?

[00:14:51]>> Are you saying you want to wet ME OFF?

[00:14:53]>> WHAT?

[00:14:54]>> WHAT?

[00:14:55]OH, LOOK, I'M figuring it. Oh, look at that.

[00:14:58]>> [laughter] >> Another ice could be used tonight. What?

[00:15:02]You've still got popcorn around your face, you know.

[00:15:07]>> It's all part of it. It's all fun.

[00:15:10]Nom nom nom.

[00:15:13]>> [laughter] >> Right, you're going to need that too.

[00:15:15]>> it's like? No.

[00:15:17]>> [laughter] >> Well, no, it is A BIT YEASTY.

[00:15:24]UM YOU'RE GOING TO NEED THAT TO CUT the Are you already half cut off the one can?

[00:15:35]I'm not driving.

[00:15:38]Have you [ __ ] burned that?

[00:15:40]That is That's yours. That's the seasoning, Jack.

[00:15:47]I am a seasoned outdoorsman.

[00:15:51]That bird It That's like well done.

[00:15:56]Well done.

[00:15:58]No, thank you.

[00:16:00]No.

[00:16:01]That's yours, then. You're cutting it up and putting it in there. We'll have that one half each and the other one half each.

[00:16:11]All right.

[00:16:13]Okay.

[00:16:18]You shouldn't have been with me, really, should you?

[00:16:22]We'll see how the night goes.

[00:16:25]What? What?

[00:16:26]Sorry.

[00:16:29]Well, he's cheering up.

[00:16:34]Oh, weird.

[00:16:36]Well, these are weird, aren't they? No.

[00:16:40]They're pickpockets.

[00:16:42]All right.

[00:16:42]Bring me the uh Chopper.

[00:16:47]Where's the sharp knife? That's the sharp knife.

[00:16:50]It's what I've been trying to tell you.

[00:16:54]It's what you say you need a spork, don't you? Isn't it?

[00:16:59]Oh my god. Well, I can't touch it. It's hot, and you put bug spray on me. You asked me to rub it in.

[00:17:05]>> Use a stick.

[00:17:07]Help.

[00:17:22]>> Does that look delicious?

[00:17:26]You're making that look so much harder than it is.

[00:17:28]I don't I'm I'm I'm I don't You want to eat out so it looks really exciting that you're like salivating at the mouth.

[00:17:37]We're all just dribbling.

[00:17:38]Yeah.

[00:17:40]I am.

[00:17:44]Num num num.

[00:17:52]Concentration. Concentration. And they've got to be perfect.

[00:17:58]Not a fairground attraction.

[00:18:00]Ugh.

[00:18:02]Yeah, it's not very bloody. You could do do with a bit more blood.

[00:18:05]>> too bad. That's not too bad, actually.

[00:18:07]You can JUST DRIBBLE IT.

[00:18:09]>> [laughter] >> [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> WHEN YOU GO FINE DINING WITH A lady Look at her. Just rocking in her chair like some lunatic in a mental asylum.

[00:18:31]You want to fill your pita pocket up?

[00:18:32]>> [laughter] >> Yes, I am.

[00:18:35]I will hold the pitas, my lady, while you stuff them.

[00:18:37]>> No, I'm going to stuff them and fill and hold.

[00:18:42]Are you doing yours? Well, yeah, because obviously you're getting angry.

[00:18:47]Hungry? Uh well, you shouldn't be hungry. I've seen what you've eaten.

[00:18:53]Got a bit of a beef bum hole in there.

[00:18:58]Quite juicy, isn't it?

[00:19:00]Yes.

[00:19:02]Right, I've done. No, come on. Have that last bit. I don't I don't like fat. Just eat it.

[00:19:08]Right. I don't like fat.

[00:19:11]Okay, I am fat, but I don't like eating fat.

[00:19:14]Mhm.

[00:19:18]Cheers.

[00:19:21]Oh.

[00:19:28]Good nosh.

[00:19:31]Good snatch, isn't it?

[00:19:45]For [ __ ] sake.

[00:19:48]It won't go in the hole.

[00:19:51]You just pick it up with your hand. No.

[00:19:53]That's heavenish.

[00:19:57]I'm swearing every two seconds, aren't I?

[00:20:01]No.

[00:20:04]That's normal.

[00:20:14]You get all excited when food comes [laughter] out. The noise is coming out of your mouth.

[00:20:21]Don't forget those two big bits of fat, which you're going to eat as soon as the camera's away. And you know you're going to eat them as soon as the camera's away. Okay.

[00:20:33]I know. I'll just eat this in peace.

[00:20:36]We're losing light now.

[00:20:39]Birds are singing in the air.

[00:20:42]Got an argumentative woman screaming behind me, but luckily I've taken her mic off her.

[00:20:47]And me, I'm fed up with I not fed up. I have eaten well.

[00:20:55]You just said you're fed it up.

[00:20:58]That means you're fed up. She is still feeding up.

[00:21:02]Yeah, cuz I'm not going to and don't in consume my food really quickly. It's because she had an extra two.

[00:21:11]Stupid what?

[00:21:13]It's still on there. Pickpocket.

[00:21:16]No, I didn't. It was a pack of four.

[00:21:19]None of this is going in.

[00:21:22]None of it.

[00:21:23]But yeah, are you enjoying yourself? No, I [ __ ] hate it.

[00:21:27]I want to go home.

[00:21:29]Drive me home.

[00:21:31]>> [laughter] >> It looks like the bleep machine is going to be working overtime again because apparently I married a bloody trouper.

[00:21:48]It's nice here though.

[00:21:51]Peace occasionally and quiet.

[00:21:55]It will be a comfortable night. Our first time that she'll be comfy in a hammock.

[00:21:59]Last time she would have been, but she insisted on bringing the dog and that made it a nightmare.

[00:22:05]You looking forward to trying it out?

[00:22:08]I'm tired now.

[00:22:10]You've only had one bleeding beer.

[00:22:16]I do like a cheap date.

[00:22:19]You bring your wife out camping.

[00:22:22]You end up making the dinner.

[00:22:25]Doing the washing up. You don't call me out.

[00:22:28]I do it EVERY [ __ ] DAY. [screaming] WHAT IS with your potty mouth?

[00:22:38]Really?

[00:22:39]>> But you make out like it's a [ __ ] big deal. It was a [ __ ] steak.

[00:22:45]That is it.

[00:22:46]That's all you [ __ ] did.

[00:22:51]And then I'll mention the potty mouth.

[00:22:53]>> [laughter] >> And then she just goes on a tirade of potty mouthness.

[00:22:58]>> [laughter] >> I'm going to go slap her around the chops with that.

[00:23:02]I won't.

[00:23:04]She's got a punch like a steam train.

[00:23:10]Work it, baby.

[00:23:16]That'll do.

[00:23:18]>> [snorts] [laughter] >> Would you like to tell everyone what you're doing? I'm just laid out, getting comfortable, Paul.

[00:23:28]>> Yeah, comfortable, Paul.

[00:23:31]Um what do you think the chances that you're going to be awake in half an hour? I don't know, and I really don't care.

[00:23:37]Cuz I'm comfortable, Paul.

[00:23:39]It's always great going camping with the wife.

[00:23:42]So she can go to bed for 8:00.

[00:23:44]I'm not going to bed. I'm just I just don't want to be eaten anymore.

[00:23:49]I'm fed up with things eating me.

[00:23:52]Oh, [ __ ] Yeah, you need to put your weight over one side.

[00:24:00]Hey.

[00:24:01]I'm sleeping on your bed, Paul.

[00:24:02]>> Yeah, I know. I'm a fat.

[00:24:04]No, you're a bug. I'm a fat bug eater.

[00:24:06]I might eat you.

[00:24:08]You comfy?

[00:24:10]Why [laughter] have you adopted the pose of Michael Jackson on his Thriller album?

[00:24:15]How are you doing?

[00:24:16]I'm social with bastard.

[00:24:19]Marvelous.

[00:24:21]Marvelous.

[00:24:22]You still talk to me. I'm just in my hole.

[00:24:26]Perfect.

[00:24:29]She'll be asleep in no time. You're all right.

[00:24:32]Half hour later, she's still awake, look.

[00:24:35]What are you making of that, knockoff Nigel Amund?

[00:24:38]I like it, actually. It's very comfortable. Um I'm hoping this does not deflate. Does it? Well, I don't know. It didn't when I slept in it.

[00:24:47]Can you check I put my knob bit in properly? Up, it's still up now, wouldn't it? Oh, yeah. I know. If it deflates, wake me up and I'll blow it up here.

[00:24:54]No. No, actually, cuz that I'll do it without the pump.

[00:25:00]With mouth?

[00:25:01]Mouth or it's got a foot pump on the head.

[00:25:05]Perfect.

[00:25:06]It's very comfortable.

[00:25:08]You're actually enjoying yourself, aren't you? All right. Well, I'm As camping goes, yes.

[00:25:14]She's just been talking to me about her taking our inflatable cabin out.

[00:25:18]And what we can do there. No, I did not.

[00:25:23]She likes playing up the camera. She's actually quite a sweet woman. Never swears at home.

[00:25:28]She walks around in summery flowery summer dresses all the time as well.

[00:25:33]And she never ever ever farts in front of me, or the kids, or the general public.

[00:25:41]That's the best when you can blame it on the kids.

[00:25:44]And she wonders why they don't come down to see us anymore.

[00:25:47]>> [laughter] >> Absolutely atrocious.

[00:25:53]Oh, I'm loving this.

[00:25:55]I've really got to get out more.

[00:25:59]More bike camping. That's what I need.

[00:26:01]>> you should get out more. I think you should get out more.

[00:26:04]Are you missing going out on the bikes?

[00:26:07]Um >> [snorts] >> Yes and no. We need an adventure. You need an adventure. I'm busy.

[00:26:16]That was a big mozzie just bit me. Yeah, he had a face.

[00:26:20]It was my face. [laughter] I'm going to put a jacket on. Jacket on?

[00:26:26]Jacket on?

[00:26:26]>> sleeves down. Up here, you'll boil through that, but okay.

[00:26:30]I'll just put a jacket on and get even hotter. Did you not spray yourself? I'll just spray myself.

[00:26:36]Well, I gave it mostly to you, cuz the bottle was nearly empty, and I'm a really nice man.

[00:26:41]I might be vomit.

[00:26:44]>> [sighs] >> It's about half eight. I don't know how much you're going to be able to see, cuz the light is fading.

[00:26:53]My good lady has reached the point of the evening where she's closed her eyes a little bit.

[00:27:02]Uh I'll guide her on my way to bed.

[00:27:06]There's no way she's sleeping. I I might even let her sleep. Why not? Granted, it means I'll have to go out to me own mischief, but but I'd rather share a good night of bonniness with you.

[00:27:20]But on the other end, I do like annoying her.

[00:27:26]I like it.

[00:27:29]It fuels me.

[00:27:32]I know she's awake.

[00:27:37]Have you been dozing?

[00:27:40]No, I can't sleep. Bloody birds won't shut up.

[00:27:45]You >> [laughter] >> Two entirely different people. I love forest bathing. I've just been telling you, haven't I?

[00:27:53]You have. I love it. Taking it in, the ambience, the peaceful sounds, and then you just hear a No, sometimes it's just nice for them to just shut the [ __ ] up for a bit.

[00:28:05]That's all I want. Do you know what I mean? It's like in the morning, they wake me up in the morning. Half three was this morning starting to do all this [ __ ] Can't they just at least wait until about 6:00 and then do it?

[00:28:20]Put ear plugs in.

[00:28:22]It really ain't that hard.

[00:28:26]You've been putting up with that for over a decade.

[00:28:29]And not once have you ever thought, I'll put some ear plugs in.

[00:28:33]No, I'll be uncomfortable.

[00:28:38]She got a bleeding loaf of bread in them ears. It's massive. Right, that's me and me scratcher.

[00:28:44]It's about 10:00, half 10:00, something like that.

[00:28:47]My good lady is well away.

[00:28:50]Not a great deal of footage.

[00:28:53]But, as I always say, I don't go out to make a film. I go out to camp and I film it.

[00:28:59]>> [snorts] >> And the light it definitely wasn't YouTube friendly.

[00:29:07]What a dick.

[00:29:09]Anyway, podcast o'clock.

[00:29:13]Try not to wake my wife up.

[00:29:15]Hopefully she has a banging night's sleep.

[00:29:18]See you in the morning.

[00:29:21]Morning.

[00:29:23]It's got to be around half four, five o'clock.

[00:29:28]Birds are awake.

[00:29:30]Not sure what we're going to be able to see.

[00:29:35]Morning, my love. Morning, my love.

[00:29:38]How'd you sleep?

[00:29:41]Really well, on and off.

[00:29:43]I'm really comfortable.

[00:29:47]Are you changing your mind about having camping? I am, actually.

[00:29:52]It's a lot more comfortable than tent.

[00:29:55]Is it as comfortable as being at home?

[00:29:57]Oh, no. I love my bed, Lee.

[00:30:01]My bed is awesome.

[00:30:04]Have you got a toilet you can get up to?

[00:30:07]Uh did you have to get up at all last night?

[00:30:09]>> No, but I did need one.

[00:30:13]Okay.

[00:30:15]That's that.

[00:30:18]I don't even know if I'll have a brew or anything this morning.

[00:30:23]I guarantee she's going to be rushing me. Yes.

[00:30:26]Yes, yes she will.

[00:30:31]Oh.

[00:30:33]I might be able to have another 20-minute doze. Mhm.

[00:30:36]All right, night.

[00:30:39]Yeah, it's half five.

[00:30:43]I need to pee.

[00:30:50]Time to start making a move, is it?

[00:31:04]She's going to attract some bears.

[00:31:11]Where is my Shut it somewhere last night.

[00:31:18]I'm not sure if it's there. Did you come back in and get [snorts] me?

[00:31:22]Got it.

[00:31:31]I need a wee.

[00:31:34]It's good good, though. I haven't had a wee all night.

[00:31:38]No, you haven't got up for a wee all night.

[00:31:40]Yeah, well, that's good for me.

[00:31:45]Oh, that's good.

[00:31:47]Being old.

[00:31:50]You're such a Well, can't you make that bit easy?

[00:31:54]It was you that was making it hard.

[00:32:01]Where did I put my socks? What the bloody hell do I know?

[00:32:06]You have sweaty feet, don't you?

[00:32:25]Enjoying yourself stuffing stuff in?

[00:32:28]Very therapeutic stuffing.

[00:32:31]Bag.

[00:32:33]She's got to be up and busy immediately.

[00:32:40]All right. Um actually, I'm properly impressed with that cheap and nasty knockoff.

[00:32:49]You got that right again.

[00:32:51]The one you slept in.

[00:32:53]Yeah, no. It was nice.

[00:32:55]Very comfortable.

[00:32:58]So, You wouldn't even know it was a knockoff, Nigel.

[00:33:01]Well, the thing is with this, if you've managed to get a decent night's sleep There's a method to my madness.

[00:33:09]Um Yes, you've managed to have a decent comfy night's sleep down at this campsite, and you normally hate this.

[00:33:16]Mhm.

[00:33:17]It's obviously comfier. Yeah, that's right.

[00:33:20]Obviously, if you can afford the original, get the original.

[00:33:26]Because I'm guessing they've got better materials, better quality.

[00:33:31]Oh.

[00:33:32]Why?

[00:33:33]Why bother when that does?

[00:33:35]Is that plain? Let's do that.

[00:33:42]It's just as good, isn't it, really? So, you save some pennies and you get something else that's a bit more expensive.

[00:33:47]>> Yeah, but In like bedding.

[00:33:50]I don't like the knockoffs.

[00:33:53]People pay a lot of money in the research and development and customer care and stuff like that. Do they? Well, China is just coming rob them.

[00:34:05]You're so much more organized than Martin.

[00:34:08]Well, it wasn't Martin. Normally, he'd be still in bed and I'd be going, "You've got to put some water on, Lee."

[00:34:20]So, now you're up, you're packed away.

[00:34:24]I am packed.

[00:34:26]You're an organized I've got a horse to feed, a poo to pick, a dog to walk and feed.

[00:34:33]You've still got making your husband a cup of coffee.

[00:34:36]And have shower. You definitely need a shower.

[00:34:40]I mean, I didn't want to say nothing, but I will definitely have shower. I'm very glad to hear that.

[00:34:47]Then I'll go pee back again.

[00:34:49]>> [laughter] >> Nice.

[00:34:52]Didn't get too cold, though.

[00:34:54]I'm a bit chilly now, but nice.

[00:34:59]Good.

[00:35:00]No, no cold now. So, you're actually saying you won't come out with me again?

[00:35:03]No.

[00:35:04]No.

[00:35:05]I said I'll cut this the whole year's cut. Yeah, but you had a lovely night's You had a lovely night's kip. Yeah, I know. Let's leave it at that, cuz the next one might be absolutely tremendous.

[00:35:15]Or it might be even better.

[00:35:17]Better? No.

[00:35:20]No. No.

[00:35:22]I'm quite I'm quite content with the one-off, actually.

[00:35:27]Enough.

[00:35:28]No more.

[00:35:34]All right, pack your towel away.

[00:35:36]Yeah.

[00:35:38]So, as you can see, quickest pack up ever with my wife.

[00:35:42]Um no trace left.

[00:35:45]Nice and tidy.

[00:35:47]It's so much easier with her about.

[00:35:50]I'll say easier. It's louder, more sweary, and a lot more aggressive.

[00:35:56]But I had a cracking night's kip. So, right.

[00:36:00]Why have you got that not packed in your bag? Because I haven't got it.

[00:36:04]How How Where?

[00:36:06]How the hell do where?

[00:36:08]You know I'm going on a swing.

[00:36:10]No.

[00:36:11]No, I told you I'd go. I'd see you on the coffee.

[00:36:15]Shower.

[00:36:18]Come on, girlie.

[00:36:22]I should have found my glasses now.

[00:36:26]All right, let's pack up this side. Oh, there's a path up this side. my god, we did come in that way. Get up.

[00:36:33]We came in that way. I know you did, yeah.

[00:36:39]Oh, what's that? It's a stump.

[00:36:46]Look at that.

[00:36:48]That curly bag lady behind me.

[00:36:55]Yeah, one wing set up worked a treat.

[00:36:58]That cheap and nasty set up really worked a treat.

[00:37:03]I think she slept right through the night.

[00:37:07]That's unheard of.

[00:37:09]For me? Yeah.

[00:37:11]I sleep.

[00:37:13]No, I know you sleep, but I know you're good at sleeping.

[00:37:16]But, how often do you get up normally?

[00:37:20]What, during the night?

[00:37:21]>> Or wake up. Uh probably maybe twice.

[00:37:24]And last night? To the mom, well, then I needed a wee, but Didn't need details? Um No, I didn't actually. I did wake up, but I didn't need a wee.

[00:37:37]I just sort of stirred. You didn't even hear any critters? No, no critters.

[00:37:42]There were critters, there were lots of critters.

[00:37:45]As I say, she done her best to attract bears. Anyway, that's about it you're getting from me and her.

[00:37:53]So, until next time, ta-ta.

[00:37:57]Say goodbye. Oh, ta-ta.