A Knight's Tale (2001) is a medieval sports film about a peasant who disguises himself as a noble to compete in jousting tournaments, featuring Heath Ledger as William Thatcher and Paul Bettany as Geoffrey Chaucer. Despite receiving a 59% critic score on Rotten Tomatoes, the film has a 79% audience score, suggesting that critics found it too sincere and schmaltzy while audiences enjoyed its heartfelt underdog story, anachronistic rock soundtrack, and ensemble cast chemistry. The film's sincerity and lack of cynicism, which critics criticized, is actually a strength that makes it a rewatchable classic.
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>> In what world could you have ever beaten the worst movie podcast ever recorded?
Such a place does not exist. And if you think that you can, you look for our shield on THE LIST. LET'S GO. IT'S NIGHT SALE.
YEAH.
>> YEAH, MAN.
>> Come on, man.
>> It's I'm hyped.
>> If there was a movie podcast jousting tournament after watching this, I was like, you look for our shields on the list. We're going We're going to hang our logo up on the wall.
>> We've got everybody measured.
>> We'll strap Dave to a horse >> 100%. I'll scream behind it.
>> That's right. I can do that part and we'll lash it to your arm. All right.
>> And send you off, man.
>> That's right. Strap this slide whistle to my arm.
>> That's right. A giant slide whistle >> there. Right in your eyeball.
>> Oh, all right. Maybe when one day when I learn the powers of CGI, I'll just digitally create you with a slide with the powers of CGI.
>> Somebody has the magic. I haven't learned it. It's like, you know, the closest thing to magic that exists in the world, right?
>> No. There's a guy that can read minds.
I'm pretty sure he made a deal with the demon. Oz probably talked about this thing before. Oz Pearlman or something like that.
>> No, Dr. uh >> No, it's not.
>> Dr. Oz, that's a different guy.
>> No, he's a different mentalist. I know you're talking about he goes around to like NFL teams too and does stuff >> and pulls >> insane >> insane things out of their brain that only a demon could pull off >> like their phone numbers and stuff.
>> Yeah. Like a a person they knew when they were children and whatever. There's no actual way to do that unless you've talked to Satan and said, "Hey, >> I know magicians want to do this.
>> I know ghost rider.
>> I know they're illusionists, but the only other person like that where I said I I can kind of tell what everybody else is doing, but I think Chris Angel is a literal demon. Yeah. Like cuz I couldn't >> I couldn't make sense of anything that that guy >> No, he's doing freaky crap for sure. And I'm sure >> David Blaine was in the same room with these guys.
>> Yeah. Like I want to be able to put a bottle cap into a bottle that isn't broken with their name on it and have them break the bottle and the bottle cap has their name on it. You can't do that unless you are >> You can't out of this world, >> right? Or at least >> But you know what we can do?
>> Yes, >> we can sit here around this table and talk about a night's tale and I'm so happy that each and every one of you are here. We've got Dave in the house.
Welcome.
>> Hello, sir. Happy to be here for this one for sure.
>> Have you ever ridden a horse uh in competition? Well, not in competition. I have ridden horses. They weren't happy about it. So, I stopped riding horses. I got it. Like, as soon as they started to r try to rub me off on the tree, like get my leg caught and push me off. I was like, "Listen, this isn't Well, you know, if you're on a horse, your legs are on the sides." When you were going down a trail, if there's a tree there and the horse is pissed, they'll catch your leg on the tree and try to >> like you off the horse. Well, nope.
Let's not say it like that. The horse tried to I guess push me off and I completely understood like this isn't my favorite day either horsey. Right.
>> Okay. Cuz you this isn't >> when you don't have good >> opposable thumbs. You can't just reach back there and you got to do something else.
>> It's true.
>> But bears use trees, right? Yeah.
>> They're like, "Get this guy off of here."
>> Rachel's also here. Hello, Rachel.
>> Hello.
>> Have you ever ridden your horse at someone whilst planning to do damage to them in some way, shape, or form?
>> No, but I did like used to have a horse.
the most rural Midwest thing young girl.
>> You had your own horse.
>> I did.
>> Tommy's name.
>> Uh, Brazilian Tommy and as I understand >> IT WAS A STRIPPER.
>> HEY, I guess >> that's amazing.
>> You know, you're like what in middle school? But I guess uh was supposed to be a racehorse as a thoroughbred and was not fast enough and so then he became my bud and I think is still around. He was uh scooped up and does competition still. And in your just not fast enough for horse racing, but in your experience, was he plenty fast?
>> Yeah.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah. All right.
>> And essenti especially because like not that this happened in any of this film, all of these horses were amazing. But it was like, oh, we're going to run in a circle with a bunch of other horses, you know, and you're not supposed to hit each other, right?
>> Or get in each other's.
>> I just feel like a horse a racehorse just not fast enough to be a racehorse would still be fast as hell and way too fast for me to get on top of it. Yeah, there was a long stretch where we were practicing where he's like on a long lead and I'm just in a small circle with my teacher being like, "Okay, but not that.
>> I love it.
>> There's a reason it's horsepower."
>> Yeah. Yeah. Right.
>> He was powerful.
>> Now, Ryan Mueller, the mayor, is here.
>> I am here.
>> Have you ever danced at banquet with someone in a matching dress?
>> Um, I don't think so.
>> Oh, all right. How about a horse?
>> Not a horse. No, definitely not a horse.
I rode my horse into a banquet once.
Okay. Yeah, that's like he wrote into a church.
>> Like he wrote Yeah, same thing. Right.
You write in church, you write in the banquet. I mean, I think he smelled the apples in there or something.
>> Side note, we're way ahead cuz I'm going to talk about something from the movie here, but you know, I always wondered why there weren't any pews in these churches. And I found out there wasn't pews in churches till like the 1600s.
>> Yeah. Everyone just stood around.
>> Just stood there on your knees.
>> Yeah. I was like, >> "Oh, well, now it all makes sense."
>> All right.
>> So, this Do you think the services were significantly shorter? I would hope so >> because you're all standing BE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, PASTOR, WRAP IT UP."
>> They were all in Latin and they were all three hours long. The church just looked like a park. Everybody kind of just milled around and stared at stuff.
>> Yeah, there was no beer garden. Where was the beer garden in there though?
>> And you guys are all beautiful as well for listening to Bad Movies Rule. So, thank you for tuning in, guys. We're about to go scene by scene through this thing and we're going to, you know, roast the bits that need to be roasted, but we're not movie critics. We just do this for some fun. So, come and have a laugh with us, guys. We appreciate you.
Uh, let's get some vitals out of the way. The movie was written and directed by the same guy, so that makes this super easy. Brian Hegeland. I Heelgeland. Sure.
>> I never know how to say his name. You guys just talked about one of his movies on Samurai Movie Jam.
>> Uhhuh.
>> Payback.
>> Yeah.
>> Which he also wrote and directed.
>> He's good.
>> This guy, >> right?
>> He wrote LA Confidential.
>> He wrote uh Payback and uh he uh 42, that incredible movie about Jackie Robinson.
>> Yep.
>> Great one.
>> Yeah. Guy's awesome director.
>> Yeah. and he was just starting as a like so Payback was his directoral debut.
This is his second movie after Payback.
>> A pretty damn good debut, >> but he was more of a very in demand screenwriter for a long time. Sure.
Before he made the jump.
>> Yeah.
>> And even continued to write scripts. Uh also uh movie stars Heath Ledger at the ripe old age of 21 years old in this movie.
>> Beautiful bouncing baby boy.
>> Yes. Young >> Paul Bettney, Mark. We got Vision, the Joker, Mark Addie, Robert Baratheon from Game of Thrones stacked, Alan Tudic, uh Shannon Sassin, and Rufus Su uh are all in this movie. And that's not even everybody. Just a fantastic cast of all. They're all so babyfaced.
>> Yeah.
>> In this movie, too.
>> Yeah. And Shannon did exactly nothing else. It seemed like she made wrist cutter something like that she was in. I looked up. But other than that, it was >> before this it was music videos. She was in like four music videos before she did this and then Yeah, there wasn't much after that except for maybe more music videos.
>> I thought she did so well in this. So, I'm surprised to hear she didn't do much else.
>> It wasn't just her first movie. It was her first acting performance.
>> Yeah.
>> Ever.
>> Wow.
>> She was an in demand Hollywood DJ. In fact, she had just DJed like Gwennneth Paltro's Baby Shower or some nonsense like that. And then a casting director saw her at the party and gave her the card and said, "Will you come read for this thing?" And that was this thing.
And she got the job.
>> Dang.
>> From being a birthday party DJ to starring in A Night's Tale with Heath Ledger.
>> From being the goop DJ. I >> know, right?
>> Seriously. Uh movie currently sits at a 7.0 on IMT on IMDb. Uh, and it's a here's how it qualifies because I'm sure that even though we're what five minutes into this, 10 minutes into this, people are already LIKE, "WHAT IS WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" IT'S A ROTTEN critic score >> by a single percentage point.
>> Blame the critics, people.
>> 59%.
>> Blasphemy.
>> We >> We did a couple of these. I think the most recent, I know Top Gun was 59. I think Conair was also 59%.
>> So, we've done a couple of these borderline movies, but yeah, it's a 79% audience score. So essentially eight out of 10 people thought it was great, but the critics didn't agree. Do you know what the biggest complaint from the critics was?
>> Too many horses.
>> No, you would think, right? They're like, I'm tired of all these damn horses and all these damn movies.
>> People falling off of horses. Horses falling over dogs and cats.
>> Thought we were done with this.
>> Sick of these mother horses. That's right.
>> Movie.
>> They should have rode goats. How much funnier would this movie have been if >> Oh, that would have been >> so much better if the if the goat like took off running and then went nope >> and just tipped over.
>> They could just do like a little jumping baby goat.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Come on. I always wondered like what would they do if Hollywood just ran out of horses, but they still had to make this movie, right? They'd all be on ostriches or something, right?
>> Ostrich.
Think of things that you can ride.
>> I hope a pig. A big cow.
>> A big cow.
>> A big stubborn cow.
>> Yeah.
>> It's a rodeo. like 8 seconds and you got to hang on, but also try and poke the other guy off while you're strapped on the ground.
>> The helmet on an ostrich would be fantastic. Just just >> just a beak head going through there.
Yeah.
>> Eye holes in the beak hole >> and they're just running all over and you just hope at some point you get close enough. Right.
>> And you hope it doesn't headbutt you because >> you have to go four four nights at a time, I think, just to get >> you'd have to have a tournament almost >> and a real small pen, right? And this is how the video game joust became.
Right. Exactly. All right, guys. Well, look, before we >> Oh, wait. I cut you off something horrible because what did the critics say? I saw too many horses. You left us.
>> No, I didn't mean to leave you guys hanging. Thank you for bringing that back. Um, I I think the most from what I gather the consensus was that it was too schmaltzy and corny. And I hate that because I for one feel like sincerity has been out of style for a long time in movies and everyone wants to be like cynical and stuff. So I' I've been wanting sincerity to make a comeback.
>> Why I love Project Hail Mary so much, right? And so the just the non-cynical nature of the movie, >> I love it. I'm like, give me all the cheese and schmaltz and >> give me some authenticity, you know? I want it all. I don't want you just shoving something in my face cuz that's what you want to push. I want something fun and that's that has some of that authentic value to it where you're like invested in these characters >> and it doesn't have to be like well we can't have a heartfelt moment without winking at the camera or cracking a joke to cut the tension or any of >> or winking literally at each other.
>> Yes.
>> In the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
>> Right.
>> But yeah, I mean it doesn't have to be cool. It has to be good outfits that look like Gynan from Star Trek Next Generation. Who the hell is it? That's why YOU'RE THE MAYOR. WHAT?
>> THAT'S UH THAT'S WHOOPY Goldberg's character from Sir Trek the Next.
>> That's Whoopy. Okay, bro. That's a deep cut for a non.
>> Sometimes I go deep.
>> I'm a nonreucky. So, anything beyond like Pequard and Kirk and maybe like Bones and Spock is a deep same uniform.
>> I know, but I'm saying you can say their names and I go, "Sure, I know who that is."
>> And you can the guy with the forehead in Next Generation. I don't know who that is.
>> Oh, um Warf. Thank you.
>> The cling on. Yeah, that's where >> sometimes jokes, you know, aren't for everyone. Ask for that real.
>> Someone out there will get it. There's one dude that was like, >> "God, >> he's so right. I love it. If >> I can reach one, >> that's all you can ask for."
>> I'm intrigued. But And this came out in 2001.
>> 2001.
>> Yeah.
>> So, >> I guess and the critics the criticisms could come from like 2001 to today to be like, >> "Well, yeah. When did we see when did Rotten Tomatoes start?" Cuz they do upload some of them, but a lot of these we find are just recent people, uh, recent critics putting these on there and they have no context, didn't grow up during that time or anything. They're just saying, "Oh, this is crap because I don't like it."
>> And I didn't this time. I usually checked like the most recent five ratings because it'll let you know if it's coming down from 59 or coming up from where it was. If you like three out of the last five have been bad, >> then you know it's it was fresh not too long ago. But I forgot to do that for this one, so I don't know what the trend currently I think it's been hovering there for a long time though cuz it's been on the list for since day one.
>> Sometimes I go to these and the last review was from like 2018 or something like that. Right. So there just >> I was just curious because this is actually now the first movie I'm doing an episode about that I've seen before.
>> Oh, hey. All right. Nice.
>> For anyone who was worried.
>> Was anyone a first timer with this one at any >> I don't remember. I I might as well be a first timer because I don't remember. I probably saw it back in the day but I remembered nothing about it.
>> Okay. Well, this will be exciting, guys.
>> Be exciting.
>> Uh before we get into what I was gonna say, you've got this hilarious new Samurai Movie Jam t-shirt on over there.
>> Yeah. Uh AI and I we uh we had a date and came up with this Samurai Movie Jam shirt.
>> Why a screaming goat?
>> Well, there's some lore here. I I said, speaking of goats, that a screaming derpy goat should be the mascot for this podcast just because they're hilarious.
any video where a goat is screaming or put in a goat scream.
>> It's great as far as I'm concerned. And then they tip over >> and their eyes are stupid.
>> They just freeze.
>> Yeah. Oh, it's the best.
>> Tipping goats are amazing. So that with zombies and a dinosaur and all that other stuff. We just kind of threw it all in. There's a bowl of oatmeal hanging out right there.
>> Oh, cuz of your famous oatmeal tape.
>> Yeah, I hate that [ __ ] But um >> people took him to task on the internet for not liking oatmeal.
>> Yeah, they're like, "Be a grown-up."
>> Right. Whatever. Yeah. How much oatmeal are you eating every day?
>> Exactly. And Oh, you don't look like you eat much of anything healthy. Yeah. Shut up. That's cuz healthy things mostly taste like crap.
>> Um but yeah, so if you want this, it's on the bad movies rule.
>> Go to the shop >> page. Go to the shop. Go to other shows.
>> Awesome, man.
>> Get your shirt. Get a shirt.
>> Well, real quick before we get into it, guys, if you're watching this or if you watch this movie alone or even watching this episode alone, it's not uh that's completely optional. The Discord we have is full of people who are doing nightly watch parties, okay? They've been at it for months. Some of these guys have become like actual like text each other at 2 a.m. about bad movies like level friends. And if you want to get in on that and have some of that uh be part of that, it started just like as a fan server and it's really turned into something that I genuinely uh did not expect.
>> I don't think any of them sleep.
>> No, I I don't think >> I will clear my messages when I go to bed at 11:00. Yeah, >> I get up at 6 a.m. There's 220 messages in there. It's crazy.
>> And so, uh, if you want in, it's five bucks. Uh, the five buck tier on patreon.com/b badmov rule will get you through the door. And the link is also in the description. All right.
>> Can I shout out cuz I attended a watch party in there for the first time.
>> Oh, yeah. How?
>> So fun. I watched Cocktail with the folks in the Discord and that was exactly the right way to watch cocktail.
>> Yeah, it's really been a cool community.
It's super fun and some of these movies like it's just a really fun way to watch and like right away be goofing and spoofing with friends.
>> Absolutely. So, >> all right guys, we are going to take a quick break and then straight into the scene by scene in medieval times. A sport arose as the text screen says it was jousting. Let's cut straight to the chase. So, there >> the old NJ national jousting league.
Yeah, >> there is two people on horses that ride at each other with sticks. And I don't say that to demean the sport at all, but that's to boil it down. That's what it is.
>> Yep.
>> I I don't know how they thought it up. I mean, they probably were just like, >> "Hey, I go fast at you, >> weapon." It was somebody probably running at each other in a battlefield on the ground and they thought, "Oh, this would be fun on horses." There were two nights sitting around a fire like I what if we rode at each other with big sticks and see if we can knock each other off a horse.
>> I'm curious why this isn't in the Olympics.
>> It should still be a sport.
>> Yeah. I don't know why this went away because there are so many things MMA, boxing, all those things that are way more violent than this. And this should still be a thing.
>> Absolutely.
>> Even what? You might die. Shut up. put a pad at the end like American Gladiators and just try to push him off the horse.
>> My guess is that it was two warriors that were arguing over who was better doing war. Essentially simulated war, right? And they're like, "Screw it. Get on your freaking horse right now. We're going to settle this." And he's like, "We're not going to ride each other with spears. Well, we'll make Bendy ones that break so we don't kill each other >> and then we're going to do this and see who's better."
>> Well, maybe this was also like a dual thing because they said they blunt the tips now, right?
>> Yeah. Maybe before they didn't like you were actually trying to kill each other and then >> I have no I'd say all this with doing no research whatsoever.
>> We don't do that.
>> No. Somebody out there if you know the the start the origins of jousting, please let us know >> because it's an awesome sport to watch it.
>> It's quick. It hits hard. I think it would do very well.
>> I mean, let's replace soccer with it.
>> Can we?
>> But the the crowds like reminded me of like wrestling.
>> Yeah, >> right. They cut to all these audience or crowd shots of the joust and people are >> and you had the squires hyping them up.
Yeah, let's do that. More of that, please.
>> Let's just get into this right now because the the first thing that happens is the we will rock you playing.
>> That was great.
>> And I know that whenever I've shown this movie to somebody, within the first 5 minutes, they're either going to be into it or they're going to hate it. And it's usually based on how they are able to swallow the modern music stuffed into this medieval movie.
>> Yeah.
>> Right. And if they can just let it go and have fun with it, then they're going to enjoy it a whole lot more. But if they're like, "That's stupid." That they're going, "We will rock you."
>> Mhm. If they put in period pieces for those bits of music, is this movie as good?
>> No.
>> Do you really want that music that they had at the banquet that they were dancing to as the backing music and the soundtrack for the jelling scenes? I don't think so.
>> This was Brian's whole point. He said he had to convey that these people got hyped and felt the same way about their music that you feel about your music today.
>> Sure.
>> Yeah. I like that.
>> Right. And that whenever we hear their music, we don't connect with it the way that they did and it takes us out of it.
And he needed to show that this was like their Super Bowl, their football stadium, their wrestling event. And while we're playing like Rolling Stones, start me up.
>> It'd be the same thing to whatever that dude's blowing out. That dude was shredding on the horn by the way. It sounded like a guitar. He was amazing.
>> How did you do that, >> dude? I play the mouth guitar sometimes, but that was like, >> you know, who doesn't sing along like we play the mouth guitar?
>> Mouth guitar sounds so dirty.
>> Well, that's what it is.
>> The mouth guitar.
>> Yes. You don't listen to Freeird. You don't play the mouth guitar along with Freeird.
>> Please give us a small part of Freeird.
Some might call that singing like a guitar.
>> That's But it's mouthing. I'm using my mouth to make guitar. Mouth guitar. It's great.
>> Jimmyi Hendris actually played mouth guitar.
>> Yeah.
>> He was like licking the strings with his or picking them with his teeth or whatever the hell he was doing.
>> Michael Winslow does a whole thing where he sounds exactly like a guitar.
>> Yes, that's also that's probably more of the traditional mouth guitar. I play more of an improvised uh dirty mouth guitar. And for the listeners who are screaming, it's air guitar is usually what people call that. When you move your hands and then you make that sound with your mouth.
>> Well, I think you play an air guitar just with listening to music. You don't The mouth doesn't necessarily have If we're going to split hairs here, you don't have to use the mouth to play air guitar.
>> I'm ready for the poll to call out what is weirder way to >> Michael Harding put that on the pole.
>> Yeah. You know, there's a difference in >> I like the music and I like the goofy fashion.
>> Oh gosh. Oh yeah. cuz some of some of the looks and everything is like of course that's not olden times.
>> If you want to immediately get people into your movie, do this.
>> Yes. Oh yeah. Yes.
>> Immediately.
>> You snap to attention right away.
>> The Greatest Showman pulls this off pretty good, too. It's not with We Will Rock You, but the whole stomping and like the crowd into it will immediately be like, "What are they going to do?
This is going to be amazing."
>> People dancing. There's shirtless people with beer mugs just like it's, you know, the 49ers game out here, let alone a jousting tournament. So, >> they're probably tailgating in the >> course yard before the game for 3 hours.
Ready to go on, whatever the hell else they eat in the 1300s.
>> Apparently, this takes place in the 1380s, I think.
>> Soap. Okay.
>> It smells that movie smells.
>> Everything happening in this world smells bad.
>> It definitely looks like it. I mean, the color palette for a lot of it is brown.
>> Yeah.
>> Yep.
>> That's why it's so funny in in Holy Grail Montipython where he says, "They must be a king."
>> Well, how do you know? Cuz he doesn't got [ __ ] all over him, >> right?
>> And does We Will Rock You happen after >> Yeah. Yeah. The first thing that we we roll up on is there's this trio of squires. There's William and Watt and Roland. And there is Sir Ector, who is the knight that they swear for, who is apparently [ __ ] himself to death and is laying against a tree down by the river.
>> It's really disrespectful given the lore that you find out later. This knight took in this kid. He's very nice. Seems very cool, right? And then they're just like, "Yeah, dude [ __ ] himself with that, but I kicked him in the gut."
>> Come on. He And they share snot rags.
>> Yeah.
>> To or nose plugs.
>> Oh, yeah. Whatever. Yeah.
>> And they this that's left one and right one as if that matters at all.
>> Who knows what that was that passed from medicine back then in the 1300s, right?
>> The nose plug for >> the nose plug. You put the nose plug in the wrong one, they think like your mother's cursed forever or something like that, you know?
>> Yep.
>> Seven generations or who knows the superstitions that they had.
>> Sharing nose plugs. Don't switch up the nostrils or there'll be a thousand deaths.
>> Pull them out one at a time. Just make sure you put it in the right nostril.
Watt is trying to kick him alive as like the the ref comes over, you know, whoever like the guy comes over to be like, "Hey, Sirectors do in the in the list and >> oh, he'll be right there." You know, this is the classic like almost sitcom level switcheroo thing going on. It's the premise for the movie, right?
>> A little Babysitter's Dead.
>> Yes. A little bit of Babysitter's Dead.
Yeah, for sure.
>> Uh they're going to ride or William is going to ride in in which for the longest time I thought was Sir Hector with an H. And it wasn't until this time when I had the subtitles on that I realized was Sir Ector that there's no H. Yeah. Uh, it's just British.
>> Hey, it's Ector.
>> It's Ector. I was like, >> he was not running spoon engines in his horse.
>> No, >> don't let that distract you from the fact that Ector was not actually Ector and it was William running spoon engines on his horse.
>> Don't let that distract you from the fact that Serector was running three tablespoons on his horse.
>> That's right.
>> They find out uh or this is where Roland sets out the premise of the movie. have to be of noble birth to compete. which is actually the thing Brian Hegland has said he'd been working on the script for so long and he couldn't unlock the hook like the main character's hook and it wasn't until he read in his own looking into the history of it that he discovered you had to be of noble birth that that unlocked the whole movie for him and said well that's the hook he's a peasant >> pretending to be a noble >> when Roland is talking to William here and he's like what's your name I wanted there was part of me that wanted to be like SHUFF >> what's your name.
>> Yeah, but he didn't.
>> There is a moment here that I I want to call attention to because he says, "If they find out, there'll be the devil to pay." And he says, "Then pray that they don't." And then Heath Ledger flashes that millionoll smile.
>> And my daughter, my 20-year-old daughter, who was watching it for the first time with me, gasped.
>> Holy dang.
>> I mean, he's a handsome man.
>> And >> he is.
>> I was not I was like, "Oh, okay. This is why this guy >> This is why this guy got the >> at 21 is leading. What's the big deal with the Joker? I >> smile.
>> Oh, there it is. Yeah, >> man. And he's like he's in his like uh dreads and really crappy.
>> He looks scrubby.
>> Totally gross.
>> And yet that smile washes it all away.
>> Oh, that's >> Yeah, it's it's the charisma that you see in Ryan Gosling, >> right? Just the same like how you love him in that ugly sweater in Project Hail Mary.
>> Yes.
>> Heath Ledger has that too.
>> Just a handsome so and so just watches the karaoke. I can't even stand.
>> It's time to ride now. And he sits on the horse and he's got actor's arm around. He says, "I've I've dreamed of this my whole life. You dream to [ __ ] himself to death.
It's finally come." Yes. Yes. Wad. And it's finally come true. I've been feeding him rancid squirrels for months.
>> Yeah. What if he poisoned them?
>> It's not outside. I mean, the possibility is not zero.
>> Yeah.
>> Percent that that's >> him plague rat squirrel.
>> Gave him a bad batch of sauerkraut right.
>> I'm still here though.
>> For those who don't know, we found out before this that Ryan Mueller may be running to the bathroom because he's been struggling with a little gut rot from some bad sauerkraut.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> We'll see. really taken this method.
>> Don't be like sirector. Okay.
>> Oh, no, no, no. I don't want that would stink here at the table. Yeah, we just got this set up.
>> Okay.
>> We want to make it make sure it stays clean here. You live, >> but he's a hero. I mean, the Heath Electric character, is it William?
>> William Thatcher.
>> I mean, he's a hero. He's not going to poison that guy.
>> No, no, no, of course not.
>> We want to have only positive feelings about it.
>> Let's not turn this into a villain origin story.
>> Oh, this so his face he's making. This is actually where the Joker started.
>> He's got the Joker hair in this. Yeah, he does. Good hair.
>> Make it green.
>> Extend the smile a little bit. And it's right there. Come on, man. What's wild about this is he was only like 6 years later. He was the Joker. This isn't that far away.
>> Real close.
>> He's like 27 years old when he made that movie.
>> I He hasn't been What do we got? We got Night's Tale, Dark Knight. Um, 10 things I hate about About You.
>> Brokeback Back Mountain.
>> Broke Back.
>> He was in Monsters Ball and a couple other like uh Ned Kelly, but I think he made 19 movies. People probably heard of eight of them.
>> Yeah.
>> Mhm.
>> Right. But he did a lot in potentially a 10y year career cuz I don't um things I hate about you was 99.
>> I think was his first Hollywood. He did a couple Australian things.
>> 20ish at that point cuz he's born the same year we were.
>> Yeah.
>> So >> yeah, it's it's Yeah. 1979.
>> So he'd be our age. You'd be 46 right now, which is just wild.
>> I'm the oldest dude at this table.
>> Yeah, dude. Sorry.
>> Proved it.
>> Perfect. Uh, William rides in Sirector's Place and they one of a few times and I I appreciate how they're always reiterating the rules for like the people in the back because they need it.
There's a couple times even where my daughter was like, "Wait, how do you win again?" Like, "Don't worry, five more minutes. They're going to explain again how the rules this work."
>> That was nice. Yeah. Uh, but he gets rocked in the face, but all he had to do is stay on the horse and he can't take it off. So, it works for him because it bends it straight onto his skull, right?
>> So, he can't take the helmet off to unveil. He's not Sir actor, >> right?
>> So, he bent the helmet out of my hat.
So, sorry I can't prove to you that I'm act.
>> I needed That was a funny beat, but they should have just had him like walk off in the wrong direction or something, right?
>> Like he was concussed after he got his award. Yeah. How wouldn't Wouldn't you be I mean I know they're the lances but they still hit like a hammer.
>> Those there's no padding in there. It's not like a football helmet. It's straight to your dome, man. And you probably concussed after taking one of the face.
>> The stunt guys that actually did the jousting in this, right? So they they made the the lances. They filled them with spaghetti and linguini and stuff so that when it would explode, it would make these bigger like which is cool.
>> That was my one bit of trivia I had about this movie was they were filled with noodles. Thanks a lot.
>> But it's okay. I I I'll be fine.
>> Look it. You can see the spaghetti >> This is a whole meal right here.
Exploding around a whole garden shot out of the side of this thing.
>> Torellini in there.
>> Grab some sauce from someone.
>> I've been So, this is a top 10 movie for me. I'll just out myself right now. So, I know everything about this movie. I did not mean to step on you for your but um >> No, no, no. Um, but what I was going to say is I watched the making of and the stunt guys that actually did the jousting, they get I their balls of wither or whatever, you get still rocked by these lances and you see these impacts and you see them from behind their whole body just shake and take the impact and they go flying off these horses and >> yeah, they're not wearing pads either. I mean, it's big chunks of whatever it is, plastic, metal, it doesn't matter.
You're still on a horse getting smashed with a stick.
>> They said the horses are each going 20.
It's a 40 mph collision.
>> Yeah. At the end of >> At the end of a stick. Yeah. Wow.
>> And you just get rocked. So, respect to all these guys.
>> Um, I didn't even mean to do it, but we did it.
>> That's why you're a pro.
>> They get 15 silver florins for their trophy. And William has the idea that we can do this for real. Why don't we They're all like, "Oh, well now I can go back to England. I can go back whatever." He's like, "No, no. Why don't we we could be champions? That's you know everybody gets one that's 13 for for outfitting and training, >> right?
>> Let's do it. And it takes a little bit of convincing. And one of the things that Watt, who is constantly hungry, I I wrote this down because one of the things he uses is a reason not to go is this food he wants to eat. Specifically, dilled ve balls with squash fritters.
>> I blocked that out.
>> What the hell is that? served at all the finest restaurants of medieval London.
>> Yeah, they're >> That sounds disgusting.
I can >> So good.
>> You haven't deals until you've had a dill ball >> with a with squash fritters.
>> Squash fritters.
>> I don't know. You have a lift.
>> Yeah, it's it's an ingredient thing. I feel like it's just a what do I have in the cupboard? And it's literally that, right?
>> I'll just put all this into a >> But he's apparently daydreaming about it cuz he calls it out by name. Yeah, >> there was an Irish mint pie or some kind of with mint cream something that he wanted too.
>> Oh yeah.
>> He kept saying, "I want the n for dessert. I want a mint cream something."
>> Yeah.
>> That was as much as I got was >> What I do appreciate about this scene is that these guys basically put their lives in their friend's hands here >> and they believe in him and they turn what is a fortune to them at this point.
They turn it over to him and say, "All right, let's do it." And I love it. And then they have the training montage.
>> Oh, it's so good.
>> So good.
>> Yeah.
>> We're just running around the woods slapping each other with sticks.
>> What's the song?
>> Uh the song is Low Ride.
>> Yep. Yeah, of course it is.
>> That's one of the ones I didn't have in here. Like low ride. And they're also part of the training is pulling him on a boat in case an aquatic joust breaks out at some point.
>> No, I think it was his aim was so bad that they were like, "Okay, we'll put you on a boat. It's hanging. So, you're not running into anything else.
>> Yeah.
>> Just like getting in the ring and he's still >> It's not easy.
>> No.
>> Think about it. You're you're you're galloping on a horse at 20 m an hour and you're you're trying to hold a stick that's longer than you. A land >> probably super heavy balanced.
And you're trying to hit a 10-in circle in the middle of a guy's chest also riding a horse at you.
>> There's so many jokes right now about the holes and finding and you know >> do that at 20 miles an hour.
>> I doubt it.
>> It's hard to do at zero miles an hour.
Anyway, um the I can't believe how successful they are at training this man.
>> Yes.
>> Because all it takes is this low rider montage.
>> Yeah.
>> Yep.
>> In a on a river and whatever and he becomes the goat of jousting.
>> He does. Yeah.
>> And he goes from not even able to hit a stationary target, >> right?
>> Or getting knocked off by a said target to absolutely just wrecking shop.
>> Yeah. You But they say they kind of mess. They kind of say it. They like, "Well, he keeps his heads down. That's crazy. Nobody does that, >> right?" Yeah. He looks >> exposes your eyes, >> right?
>> He does say that he he prefaces the whole thing by saying, "Hey, no one's better with a sword than me." So, he has some skill.
>> Sure. going in. But these guys, why does Watt have to hold one of the shields for one of the You know what I'm saying?
Like there's one where they've got it, they've got it mounted on a spinny thing, but then there's one time they want him to just like >> he walks out there and >> just hold it out.
>> I think it's because it's more of a target.
>> That's a prank on Watt. I think >> it might be for sure.
>> Hold it. He go hold that out there.
>> You know, he's not hitting the one hanging here. Just walk out there with this one.
>> Yeah. Make a bigger target maybe. But yeah, that was Ben. He's even got him acting as his ponies, like pulling a wagon with him.
>> Yeah.
>> In honestly, some of that is probably now that we're talking about I'm like, "The horse is tired. You're so bad at this. The horse needs a nap. So, we're going to pull you instead."
Okay.
>> You're the horse now. What?
>> The horse.
>> Nope. Piss off. You run out of there.
I'm not doing it.
>> You're the horse now.
>> That was super fun. That whole montage is super fun. I also love that dynamic between those two goofies and then William.
>> The two goofies and William.
>> Yeah. I mean, they're there. That's what they're there for is this comic relief.
And that's always hungry.
>> One of them's a mega goofy, though. Alan Tadic. Tudyk. Is that I think Tudik is >> just acting his pants off in this movie.
I he is just going crazy.
>> Everything is 11.
>> Yeah.
>> Whether he's talking about food or serious things or whatever, it's always like I'm crying and you know it. I'm mad and you know it.
>> And the fire red hair that this guy has.
>> Yeah.
>> Which is also like the one moment cuz we talked about like everything's dirty just >> and he is still so clean and like not sunburned >> and like just pale as it goes.
>> That's that is the perk to not having a soul is nice. But it is like the one thing that like takes me out when I even when they like scan over the crowd and then he's just like so perfectly pale and like >> like okay peasant life is treating him well.
>> Yeah, he's doing great.
>> He would be galactically sunburned >> cuz they're in the sun all the time pink >> just constantly.
>> Uh the the episode No, the the scene cuts and now William has shaved his face and cut off his dreads and he's riding.
I mean, it's like it looks like a >> good looking, right? All cleaned up.
Yeah. Looking good. Riding the horse.
And uh here comes Jeffrey Chowser, the famous author who uh I think in the 14, like literally the year 1400 is when Canterbury Tales was released. And apparently in all the history that's been done about Cher's life, there was a one-year period that they can never account for and don't know where he was or what he was doing. And supposedly this movie is set during that.
Dang. So they think that he adopted a knight.
>> Yes.
>> And went and did announcements for him.
Hype man. Yeah. He's out there as a hype man.
>> That's so awesome.
>> The first chapter of the Canterbury Tales is a Knight's Tale.
>> That's the name of the first chapter.
>> Really?
>> Yeah.
>> Gosh.
>> Yeah. So, I just love that he kind of and a lot of the Knights names he uses are real names of knights like as they're announcing all these different knights and stuff. So he tried to actually like weave in some legitimacy.
That's why some of these nights names sound so freaking awesome cuz they were real.
>> Yeah.
>> You know, >> but speaking of stinky, this dude really looks gross. What he's like who would stop to be like, "Hey, hey, hey, what's she doing?"
>> Well, we're burying the lead. He's completely naked.
>> Yeah. Yes.
>> Like completely naked.
>> Yes. And he wasn't super happy about it.
In fact, he called his friend when he got the script cuz Brian Hegland's a friend of his >> and he tried to get uh Paul Bitney to star in his previous movie and they wouldn't do it. The studio wouldn't because he nobody knew who he was. So, he wrote this part for him and he sends the script and he was like, "You son of a [ __ ] I'm naked through half the movie."
>> Yeah.
>> You lost your shirt, guy. Welcome to Hollywood.
>> Right. He's just Well, he's trudging as he says.
>> Trudging.
>> Yeah. Trudging. You ever trudge?
>> Yeah. the depressing yet determined walk of a man with nothing left but simply the urge to soldier on. He says, >> "This is one of those times, I've talked about this often, where I saw this movie when I was young, >> and thought it was whatever, >> watched it again, and went, "Oh, this this all makes way more sense now." Now I actually am listening to people what they're saying.
>> When are you going to do a jousting thing?
>> Yeah, with the knights to fight each other.
>> Two swords.
>> God dang it.
>> I was so When I was first saw this, I was so mad when William decided not to do the sword anymore.
>> For real.
>> I know. was. Yeah.
>> A Come on, man.
>> I'm a big sucker for a sword. That was so cool. The sword fighting that they used here was great.
>> It wasn't It was It was awesome.
>> Good stuff.
>> Nothing.
>> He's able to He says, you know, I'm a writer and they don't even know what that means. And he says, you know, for you know, a small amount of money, I can scribble you whatever you want. And he in that list, he gives him a patience of nobility, which everybody suddenly just perks right up at that. Right.
>> Sounds like something we need.
>> And he says, "Uh, I'm Jeffrey Chower, the writer." You know, >> you know me.
>> Just like >> and they think allegorical is something that it's up to every man to decide for himself. Apparently, >> it's good little gicot words.
>> I don't think it means what they think it means. Uh but >> that's what you think of.
>> Yeah.
>> Ultimately, they decide to to exchange services here and he's going to he's like, "Give me some clothes. Let me ride that horse for a little bit and you'll have your patent your patents." And they're like, "All right, cool. Deal."
But then there's one thing I want to ask you guys because I've seen this movie so many times. I still have never figured out what the hell fong you means because Watt comes up to him. This is the first of like six times in the movie. F O N G.
And says, "If you betray us, I will fong you."
>> Why fong us?
>> Until your insides are out or he's like he threatens people to fong them throughout the whole like you're just gutting somebody where you >> Okay.
>> cut out their intrails.
>> I hope trails.
>> Yeah. Is it a pockets? I guess is it a madeup word that Alan Tudic just or Tudy just I'm gonna say his name wrong every time just made up for the movie >> it could be >> or is it a real thing >> because what's interesting is this movie does blend a good chunk of like you said real knight's names and things like that. So maybe it is >> it could be >> depending on the contexting someone usually means giving someone a hard kick or it's a popular pop culture reference to attacking someone based on the 2001 movie nights. There you go.
>> So, it sounds like it started off with a kick and then people were like, "No, in a night's tale, he meant kicking wholesale ass."
>> Yeah, right. Because it seems like a little bit more dangerous than >> But I love this so much when he kneels down and and and like starts off like be nice. Okay. They told me to be nice. So, I will destroy violence. Violence. It's so fant.
>> You can just see him holding it back but building up at the same time. I mean, it was great.
>> It's giving Miss White in clue, right? I don't recall that where she's like she couldn't get the word. She said, "Flames on the side of my face."
>> Right. That's that's kind of the same the same bit there.
>> All right. They get to the tournament in Rome and he's able to get in because Chower is an excellent bullshitter and lays out this incredible looking patence of nobility and how he's, you know, got royal blood from six times on his mother's side and through this duke of this place and this earl like all six generations is enough, >> right?
>> Yeah. Just that's enough lying >> to get him in here.
>> You did it.
>> We need another body. It doesn't matter.
>> That's right. That's right. All right.
Fine. Fine. Fine. We got an opening.
Mhm. Mhm.
>> Now, as William is is just strolling around with his horse and he's just singing to himself, my daughter's like, "Why is this man just singing?" He's a happy guy.
>> This is his dream.
>> Have you ever been so happy that you're just randomly singing? I do.
>> Sure.
>> Sometimes.
>> Yeah.
>> No, in my head, I say I don't know that I would do it out loud, but if I'm in a movie, >> I would stick together through thick or thin. Uh my having to suck. I've gotten stairs at quick trips before because I'm just singing along with whatever the song is that's playing inside the Quick Trip >> and not quietly.
>> That's awesome.
>> I love it. Sorry.
>> Life is short.
>> Exactly.
>> Sing a song.
>> Right. This is >> But you never know when the musical starts. Right. Right.
>> Because if what if that quick trip and everybody just >> Right. And I look and all of a sudden you're all singing whatever it is, >> right? I look over the aisle. I'm like, "No, nobody >> against all odds with everybody."
>> Yeah. Quick trip. They're just up on the counter dancing, singing like a Texas Roadhouse, you know?
>> So get up there and dance a little.
>> It's a sign of the time.
>> He turns Quick Trip into a coyote ugly every time he goes in.
>> Another great bar movie we need to do on the show.
>> That would be very fun.
>> But the singing I feel like then is like the inner dialogue for you to find out that like, oh, this lady.
>> Yes. Cuz this is where Joselyn steps out in front of him for the first time ever.
>> The weirdest hat. She looks like a walking bottle of hot sauce.
And she's all white. She's got a weird cap on and the bottom of her dress is red. I was You You look like like a 3 million Skullville bottle of hot sauce.
>> Her look changes every scene she's in, right?
>> Like she's having a good time, >> right? Her hairstyle, this time it's like an Asian inspired hairstyle, and this time it's like medieval style.
It's America circa 1998.
>> It's fun. I like it. It's all over the place.
>> She brought all her DJ costumes and went, >> "Yeah, >> go wear them all." Right.
>> And I'm like, "All right, here's this girl. You're obviously like love at first sight moment. You're going to say something. What's your opening line going to be?" Right. Something that I was never really any good at. And it just dawned on me that when you look like Keith Ledger, all you have to go is a would you speak to me?
>> Yeah. It doesn't. That's Yeah, that's all I have to do.
>> And flash a smile. You know, that's all it takes.
>> Can we talk?
>> Yeah. So, he just goes up. He's like, "Can I talk to you?" And she's >> She's like, "Yeah."
>> It's also so weird cuz he's following her on a horse. This is not a casual encounter.
>> No.
>> Yeah.
>> Bro is down so bad. He walks his horse into a church.
>> Yeah.
>> Blasphemy.
>> Yeah. The line of priests just get him out of there.
>> Yeah. They just start the huddle like we've seen this before. We're not going to let you horse around.
>> Every time hot women come in here, this is ridiculous.
>> I didn't try to do that.
>> Right.
>> Horsing around in this church.
>> The only thing he's trying to get out of her is her name. And she says, "Call me a fox because that's all I am to you.
>> My foxy lady."
>> Yeah. I wish they would have [ __ ] lady.
As soon as he walked out of the church, that would have been great.
>> And then there's this great moment where the priest comes over. Does this not shock you ladies?
>> Oh, I just We only laugh to keep from weeping. Oh yeah, we're so hot. Beauty is such a curse. Pray that the years come swiftly.
>> You perve. I know what you're doing.
>> Pray that you may better serve God. You know, >> I ask all the time, why did God curse me with this faith?
>> Yeah, I do, too.
>> It's a daily battle every mirror I look in.
>> Oh, but then there's that great turnaround moment where he's talking about beauty and vanity, and then she goes to kiss his finger and she's like, "Oh, that's a beautiful ring."
>> Like, kiss the ring. What? I know. And that's a funny historical reference, too.
>> That's also also all right. William does is doing well in the joust, right? And he's also constantly needed in the sword ring. So, he's like going back and forth between the two. And this is where uh two characters from Canterbury Tales pull him into a tent with Simon the Summoner and Pete, the uh purveyor of religious relics.
>> I didn't know this was all an actual thing.
>> That's why he says to him later, he goes, "Well, I'll eviscerate you in fiction. every little detail. You'll be naked for eternity.
>> Because he put these two guys in his story.
>> I'm going to do a graphic novel of how much you suck.
>> Pretty much, dude.
>> He's like, "Yeah, okay. I was naked for a day, but literally people are going to be making fun of you till I mean, how, 1400 and that book is still around?"
>> Yeah, >> we did it when I was in high school, >> right? Yeah.
>> It's wild.
>> I didn't I did it m I guess. Did that one turn?
>> I also think I was the only I don't think I had this conversation with your husband. I was the only person in universe that didn't have a class where we had to read uh Kill a Mockingbird.
>> I literally just read it like a couple years ago for the first time.
>> I don't book, but I didn't have to read that.
>> No. Okay. I thought everybody did.
>> Oh, I did. No.
>> Yep. So, >> not to kill a Maybe I did. I don't know.
>> Your brain was like, I don't need to remember this.
>> School turned into my head.
>> Home word bound. We had to read.
>> Oh, the one with the dog. with the dogs.
And then where the red fern grows was another one. Also dogs. Also dog. Wait, was it just a bunch of dog books?
>> Your teacher just love dogs.
>> Did you?
And we >> right. We also read underdog like the comic book.
>> That's where you in that class like why dog this?
>> Why dog this?
>> Come on.
>> Uh I thought the writing did so well with this too cuz like you said there are these scenes he's like cutting back and forth. He's saying I have to hurry like I can't be late. And then they're pulled in. So, like there's an urgency, right?
>> And I can't recall like when exactly this is in the movie, but you're definitely bought in to like he's got to win.
>> And and Chower is naked again.
>> He says, "I've got a gambling problem."
>> Pretty severe one.
>> Your underwear.
>> You keep losing everything.
>> And there's just something very undignified about Watt beating a naked man. Like when he just grabs him in a headlock and starts punching him with his ass out, right? Like it's embarrassing for for Watt, for him, for everybody. Don't beat up somebody when they're naked, >> right?
>> I mean, that's how you win a fight. You want to win a fight against another dude, just get naked.
>> You strip down legit. If you a fight starts off and you just strip your clothes off, the fight is over.
[ __ ] smearing. Get them off of you.
Take your pants off. Just >> All joking, YOU DON'T THINK that ends a fight immediately if you just pants.
>> You're a man.
>> 100%.
>> That's what I'm saying.
>> I don't know. As a woman, I'm not confident. I will not be trying.
>> No is going to come up to you outside and fight you after you just strip naked out there. He's going to be like, >> "Nope."
>> He's like, "I'm not touching that shit."
>> Yeah. It might get on me. That's That's the fear is I'll still punch your face.
But what if that thing goes a >> So you got to strip down and go for the double leg takedown cuz now you're going in. They're going to >> You strip down and you start walking pelvis first at them.
>> Come on.
>> Then everyone runs.
>> You do the flying neck grab with your legs like Mysterio just off the top rope.
>> I'm a sneaky snake.
>> I'm saying, you know, that's what I'm saying, man.
>> Self-defense lessons here at Bad Movies.
>> He does ask our best.
>> What would you do if I didn't pay you?
It was 10 gold Florence, which guys, think about how much money that is considering what 15 silver pieces did >> before. Now you're 10 gold. It's probably 100 silver each, I'm guessing.
>> Yikes.
>> Right. And then they were going to take it off his back.
>> Yeah. He said, "What would you do if we didn't pay He's like, "Well, we be on behalf of the Lord God, take it from his flesh that he would know that gambling was a sin, right? From these gamblers."
>> Um, and then he says, "Release him and and I'll pay it." Which really does, I think, a lot of leg work for the screenplay to show Williams character here because he doesn't owe this guy.
No, they're not good friends yet, right?
They've known each other a day and he is going to pay off a 10 Floren debt and save this guy's >> mutilation basically. Well, and it goes to show how big of a deal knights were.
Like you just kind of took their word as gospel, right? Yeah. He didn't sign nothing. You didn't have to >> Yeah.
>> strip down naked himself. He's like they're like, "Oh, all right, dude.
Let's let's uh have it. We'll be back."
>> Yeah. And I love how I don't know if you guys already said this, but um when William says, "What are you going to do to him if he doesn't pay it?" And then they're like, >> "It's going to be gnarly as hell." And it's cool that he made him hear that just like you do this again. Stay safe.
We're not doing this again with you.
Right.
>> Yeah.
>> And I love the little slip up and cover by Chower when he says please will in in front of these dudes. Uh please will you help me Sir Olrich?
>> Why if you're going to pick a fake name, why are you going with Sir Olri von Likenstein from Galddeland?
>> Because you'll never forget that.
>> That's a lot, man. Well, they figured he's like >> Germanish, so they're not going to go back and check him out, you know?
>> Right. Oh, right. Probably.
>> That's what I would think because if he picked like a Irish or English name from Wales. Oh, like Yeah. No, you're not.
Right.
>> Like we check that out.
>> That's fair.
>> Mhm.
>> Uh he walks straight into the sword pit.
He tries to announce him, but it's too late. He's been announced. He just has to go straight into the fight now.
>> Yeah. This was great. This sword >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. And what I learned is how these sword battles would work is each person would get 10 strikes. And so this when it's this guy's turn to go, he is on the offense and and you have to block >> and then you get 10 strikes and he's got to block. And however many out of the 10 he's unable to block and you hit. That's the score of the match.
>> And so that's why in that montage where the guy's turned backwards and William is just keeps cracking him in the back is he's getting his points from each of his 10 hits that can connect.
>> Yeah. So if you >> I think they're doing this again. Are they?
>> Yeah. Like there's a league of armored fighting now where they hit each other with actual swords and they wear armor and whatever.
>> No, it's true. Yeah.
>> Yeah. That's a thing again. I don't know if they score it or if it's the same thing, but >> No, it's like a form of martial arts. I never can remember the acronym. And the all the HEA guys out there, I know Pat McAffrey is one of our full duters is got his own show about HEA and it's H E can't remember, but then MA is the martial arts, but it's what this is.
>> Yeah.
>> And he loves this movie. I mean it's just so clearly a skill. I mean we were talking about sports earlier like yeah you don't just like know how to do that is it's both like strength and strategy for sure >> that they trained him how to do be a sorter >> be a sorder >> and then he wins and Chower comes in the rock the hard place we walk in the garden of his turbulence >> dead silent >> yeah that was a real onset thing cuz they were shoot this in Prague. And none of the Czech extras had a clue. And Paul Bentley talked about this too, for all of his speeches. No one had a clue what the hell he was saying.
>> And they would cut in other shots of them clapping from like other parts that they shot cuz they would all just stand there while he was giving his speeches and no one knew what the hell he was saying the whole time. And so Mark Addie actually uh cued the crowd to cheer like that. And then they went back and shot it that way. This is what when it happened like, "All right, let's just do that in the scene." Right.
>> I love that.
>> It's perfect. movie magic because it's just takes the veil off to be like none of those folks know what he's saying and not even because it's just big words like literally it's a different language.
>> They don't speak the language.
>> It probably was like that back then too.
Also true.
>> The poppers probably didn't know what he was talking about. They're like that sounds cool. I wish I could talk like that.
>> And then it goes into the >> we get up every morning and the long [ __ ] morning and take the 8:15 into the city.
>> Get crazy with that mouth guitar.
>> Yeah. Come on. That's just singing, Rachel. What are you talking about?
>> LIKE A MOUTH.
>> THAT WAS WHAT was next, I thought.
>> Oh, no. No, no, no.
>> Uh, taking care of >> Who doesn't love a montage, right? What we need is a montage.
>> Another one. We need another one.
>> Honestly, not bad, though, cuz it's a twohour 12minute movie. No. And they seem to paced actually quite well to like progress the story.
>> And one of the critics called this as a negative uh middle medieval Rocky, and I take that as a compliment.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> Oh, yeah. For sure.
>> Okay. So, you're comparing it to one of the greatest movies ever >> as a pjorative.
>> As Yeah. As like, "Oh, it shouldn't be this." Okay. Well, that's stupid.
>> Go color.
>> Uh, he wins the sword, but his armor's all screwed up. He doesn't have the money to get it fixed. And so, he's taking it around to all these blacksmiths, and they're like, "No, no promises." They're not taking the word like the gamblers took the guy's word.
And he says, they say, "Try the Ferris."
It's this Ferris named Kate behind um this Irish lass. And uh the he reverse psychologies there. I I loved they did this joke where they they tried to go like, "Oh, it's because I'm a woman, right? That they said I couldn't." He's like, "No, it's just they think you're [ __ ] and you're the >> right." The fact that you're a woman didn't even come up.
>> But the comedic timing of that was also so good because it was like immediately after he spoke to them, which is like so you know that was not what was said. But William is also like >> I can get what I want here.
For sure.
>> I loved too how William just >> trips and stumbles into having the best of everything. Like you got the best blacksmith, you got the best hype man.
You got the best squires here.
>> Just pretty lucky for your stars.
>> There's just these people that are so charismatic, so magnetic that they they just draw people to themselves. It's the same reason that Roland and Watt were like, "All right, fine." with the 13 gold pieces, right? Because how can you spend five minutes with this guy and not believe that he will take you to whatever?
>> I'll give him my wallet right now.
>> You know what I'm saying?
>> You can have it.
>> But also, as a movie, like it creates this ensemble that you're rooting for, which is really fun.
>> Yes.
>> I'm a sucker for a little band of friends style movies. That's why I like Mass Effect so much because it's kind of what that game is, right? You get your little band of people together and go save the galaxy. And I love this dynamic. Ninja Turtles.
>> Ninja Turtles kind of a thing, >> right? The little team it the movie and I guess um Heath Ledger from what Alan Tuttic said in a interview recently was so pissed off when he saw it as an ensemble piece and when the poster came out and it's just his face, he will rock you and that's the the poster. He was pissed about it because it was to him about the group, about this team of people.
>> I mean, it really was. The movie was really about them, right? Yeah. He's the face of it, but without the group around him, he's nothing really. No, >> I mean, he doesn't get where he ends up without >> He doesn't even get into the first tournament without Chauer, he doesn't he's not able to do it without Watt and Roland at all.
>> And then without his new armor coming up here in a few scenes, >> he's not able to do it either, >> right?
>> To be clear, this is bad movies rule.
>> Well, look, sometimes it turns into a little bit of something else. We're trying to find things to make fun of.
Yeah, >> we're trying hard. Real hard.
>> It's good.
>> We'll find it.
>> It's not my fault. It's a damn masterpiece.
>> Oh boy.
>> Okay. Sorry.
>> Jocelyn is introduced to Count Adomar.
We finally have the villain of the movie show up. He's introduced by >> This is the first time we see him.
>> Yeah, we haven't seen him up to this point.
>> Oh, I thought he wasn't comment about halfway through. Droopy [ __ ] I hate his guts. You hate his guts from the minute he walks out.
>> And he walks up and he's like, I am the leader of the free army.
>> And his stupid hair. Is he? Oh jeez. You don't like his little perm?
>> I did not like his perm. His medieval perm. No, >> I could tell right away you're the [ __ ] the movie.
>> It was good though.
>> He was good.
>> Perfect. Perfect.
>> So he comes out and and he's got a lot of heavy lifting to do in this scene because he has to go and explain the rules to Joselyn and he didn't know how to do it. And Brian Heglin came over to him and gave him this note. He goes, "It's not exposition, it's sex position.
And you've got to do it like you're trying to get with her but you're still explaining the rules." And he goes, "Got it. No problem." And then we had this scene where he's like, >> "I have never been unhorsed, you know."
And she's like, "Nor have I."
>> She hates this sport, it seems like. I'm not sure why she shows up all the time.
>> She's b every night walks past her and goes, "I'll win this tournament for you." Like, "No, I I want to win it for you because >> No, me.
>> No, me. You're hot. You're very hot and I'm going to win because I think you're hot."
>> I don't think she hates it. I think she hates the knights that >> come by on the parade.
>> Right. That's the deal.
>> She's so tired of men throwing their underpants at her.
>> So sick of being so pretty.
>> Like the priest said, it's a curse.
That's >> right. It's a curse.
>> And uh we find out that this part of why she likes William is he's the only knight that hasn't promised to win this tournament for her.
>> Probably on accident. He's probably just [ __ ] in his pants right now. He hadn't thought to say to Too busy still running between Chelse and sword handles >> because he does later >> for sure.
>> Uh William makes the mistake. Uh well, first of all, this get a little bit of Sino de Bersiac in here, too, because Chower whispers some some sick ass line to go say to her.
>> Such a good line, too.
>> He goes, "You still haven't given me your name." And she's like, "I'm not going to." Well, perhaps angels have no names, just beautiful faces. You know, >> THAT'S SO GOOD.
>> IT'S SO GOOD. BUT THEN ALSO YOU COMBINE it with the million-dollar smile and you're like, "What do we do?" And he's >> I was like, "Why?
>> Why is she still in the stands?"
>> Yes. Come on. What are you doing?
>> Cancel tournament tournament. Tournament canceled.
Everybody >> came off.
>> Came off. Uh but he makes the mistake of saying that to her in front of uh Adomar.
>> Yeah. M >> who then just starts roasting him about jousting in an antique.
>> My grandfather would be able to wear his in public again.
>> And he just William doesn't even have any comebacks. He just goes and he just rides.
>> So, but you see Jocelyn too kind of have a heart for William at this point cuz it pans over to her and she's like, >> "All right, that was like an [ __ ] thing to do >> for real." you know, she has some sympathy for him and she you can tell that's like the spark a little bit more of the spark I should say of >> she's like I you know what I like William >> or >> she doesn't know his real name yet but >> Johnny from Karate Kid.
>> That's right. It's the same vibe.
>> It's true.
>> And you see there's even a hierarchy between the knights because he says some of these poor country knights a little better than peasants. Right. So he even sees himself >> he's even snoody to other nobility.
Yeah.
>> Right. It's good good character development.
>> He sucks.
>> Oh, he does. Yeah. But in the best way.
>> No, you Yeah. You hate him immediately.
>> Yes.
>> That's why at the end when that final lance is like it's the rage of a million movie goers at the same time funneled into one point of a land.
>> Right.
>> Get him.
>> That's why he's back flipping off his horse.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh this is where we get Chouser's first big introduction. My lords, my ladies, and everyone else not sitting on a cushion.
>> Dang.
Today we are equals, right?
>> He goes off the rails. This is when you get like you get the other guys are like my lord the second uh descendant of Philip Dmitri and then and then if you like had Bill Shakespeare come out and do yours right it's going to just be here's them and then this one >> in Greece he spent a year in silence.
It's when when the squires are standing there going, "Oh jeez, >> I'm about to look really bad.
>> This is going to be lie.
>> Here we go."
>> The protector of Italian virginity, defender of our Lord God van.
>> Yeah. It becomes ready to rumble. That's where from 1400. That's what that and this is where it started. Michael Buffer.
>> He was kind of like the mouth of the south of England, you know, Jimmy Hart.
Yeah.
>> He he had like five of these speeches.
They ended up cutting like two of them.
If you go on the DVD on the deleted scenes, you can see a couple of the other speeches that are on there. He's still They're awesome.
>> But they're didn't even all make it in the movie. Every time he knocks it out of the park.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, man. Yeah.
>> Oh, Paul.
>> That's for me.
>> So good. Imagine if he lost right after that speech.
Honestly, the other nice would be like, "Hey, I'm hiring." Like, >> after he talked about how he saved the the Italian lady from the wouldbe ravagings of her dreadful Turk Turkish uncle and the silence in Greece, >> no one likes Turkey.
>> And no, they're like, "Boo." Yeah.
>> And it cuts over to William after the speech and he's just like, >> "Hey, >> everyone thinks he's a dragon slayer and it's just this kid over here going."
>> I'm surprised he didn't do that. Found the last dragon and slayed it from Germania.
Exactly. Um he fights against Kovville and he apparently injures him and Kovville asks he's I've never not finished before and this ends up being super important later but I want to finish with honor as opposed to I just sit there and you ride by and take me out. Right. Because even even Adamar says why didn't William or not William why didn't finish him?
>> Mhm.
>> And then he's like mercy is a weakness.
>> Yeah. Cuz Johnson's like mercy he's merciful, right? And Adamar's like, "Oh, that's that's a weakness, right? That's something I can exploit later potentially."
>> Right.
>> But I what I didn't realize, and I didn't realize this till I watched this the second time, was I thought Kovville was >> just kind of a one scene dude. Yeah. I didn't recognize him the first time I watched through the movie later in the movie.
>> It turns out he's Prince Edward.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Right.
>> A pretty important plot point.
>> Can people didn't joust with him, >> right? That's in the next tournament he shows up in. Yeah. the first one, even before anyone knows who he is, William still treats him with honor and respect and doesn't just take him out, >> you know, because he's injured.
>> And again, tripping into the most important parts of your life.
>> Seriously, it just I be a good person and the right things happen, I guess, right? Is what it's saying. Um, after he, you know, does a couple more joust, he starts riding away. Did she see me?
Did she see me take the hit? Was she watching? It's the most were the girls watching I've ever seen in a movie.
>> And my daughter goes, Heath Ledger would never be this pressed about a girl.
>> He would just be like, I know she was watching. Plus, look it.
>> Check this out. She was watching for sure.
>> Yes. Uh, and the next morning, we finally get William versus Count Adomar V1 version one. Mhm.
>> Uh and Joselyn gives her name finally to William and asks him to wear this handkerchief.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. He's thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. And he starts off the fight two to one. Like it's it scored two points to one.
>> Yeah.
>> And one of the times Adamar totally misses his Lance isn't even busted. He was like, "What the hell is going on?"
>> I think before that one it was maybe it was Roland or I think it was Roland said, you know, he goes in high roll your shoulder back on that one.
>> Yeah. Some co Mickey in the corner with Rocky coaches. He's He's there with his his surface tablet just >> the surface tablet. He's looking at the play.
>> He's looking at the replay. Like >> he's like, "Look, man. Hold on."
Shoulder back. You got what he's saying.
>> Offensive coordinators coming over. You see it right here. He's shoulders back.
You go in and attack right there.
>> And then afterwards, you get the Aaron Rogers spiking the surface tablet thing cuz he loses.
>> I love that. Um bad guys. The end of his is a fist. I wanted more of like onthe theme jousting or on theme. So >> what would his what would Yeah.
>> What would Williams have been >> like a ram head or something like that?
>> Phoenix. That was his >> a star.
>> A star.
>> You change your star.
>> I I would ride in I would ride IN WITH ONE.
>> OH BE SO GREAT.
>> I'm going for I do that. I'm going for head shots all the time. You know just >> Exactly.
>> You see this?
>> It punches its way into the helmet.
It's indented.
>> I got that from Sir Talri.
>> I don't know what it means.
>> It's so disrespectful.
>> So, he invented the middle finger.
>> Oh, I'm being creeped.
>> Mhm.
>> Oh god. Um >> I don't know why this is disrespectful, but it is.
>> I do appreciate that he ends up losing to Adomar without cheating. Like Adamar just straight up beats him, right? He breaks the final ants on his head, gets to three before he does.
>> Mhm.
>> And it's a loss. And it he's the best jouster. Vinc Williams like second tournament, right? So, it makes sense.
>> We got to start somewhere on the hero's journey. We can't be winning.
>> You can't beat the undefeated champion of the JFL, right?
>> Imagine getting hit in the head so hard that all of a sudden you're seven years old again.
>> Yeah. Getting knocked into your memories. Yeah. Absolutely. Where you just bonk I'm a kid again.
>> I like that.
>> That fist just went right into his brain and pulled it right out.
>> Right. He's sitting on top of the stocks talking watching the parade of nights go by. Yeah.
>> And he he says, "Son, you know, one day you this could be you. You can change your stars."
>> Or no, he didn't say that. The guy is a Thatcher, son. The dude in the stocks.
>> Yeah. I'm going TO BE SHUT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Shut the up, man.
>> It's the olden day version of a commenter and an anonymous comment.
>> It's like one of the old Muppets, you know, is is in there. The guy sits up in the balcony or whatever. Just >> Yeah. The two old dudes in the balcony.
>> Statatler and whatever is the 1400's version of an internet troll.
>> That 14.
>> You're in the YOU'RE IN THE STOCK. SHUT UP.
>> RIGHT.
>> YEAH. How's that working out for you?
>> Yeah.
>> Right.
>> Stupid laugh.
>> You can do it.
>> Uh he didn't you kick him. He can't do anything.
>> Yeah.
>> Just piss on his head. You're standing right above his head. Just piss on his head. That's what he's there for. more self-defense classes from bad movies.
>> If you ever get insulted by a guy whose hands and head are in the stocks, just kick them.
>> Yeah, >> they can't do anything.
>> It's why they're there. They are there for public abuse. That's right.
>> Of any way, any form. Go ahead.
>> They have the the trophy presentation and William in a bit of shit-talking leans over and says, "The next time we face each other, you will look up at me from the flat of your back."
>> Yeah.
>> He says, "In what world?" He goes, "No, this is when he for the first time he says, "You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting."
>> Remember this?
>> Yeah.
>> Yep.
>> Is there anything more satisfying than taking something someone [ __ ] talked to you and turning it right back around on them?
>> I don't know, but I bet it's pretty cool when it happens.
>> All right. Uh, after this whole thing is gets his golden horse and he's breaking into pieces, he gives half of it to the gambler guys. Yeah. give some of it to Kate to pay for the fixing the armor or whatever.
>> And she says to him, >> "I can make you such armor you wouldn't even know you wore it."
>> Yeah.
>> And he's like, "Take your gold and go."
I was like, "You do shit."
>> Well, that's where I was. I'm like, and just kind of couple couple points of this movie that I didn't think was warranted his response, and this was one of them. I'm like, she basically just made you armor on credit, and she's going to make you like the Nike heir of [ __ ] armor. seriously later.
>> Mhm.
>> Why wouldn't you bring her with?
>> Yeah.
>> So, just take me as far as Paris, right?
And he's like, he's like, "Shut up."
>> And I'll say it now. I don't care.
>> Jocelyn Kate.
>> Wait, Kate. Totally underrated in this movie compared to who was supposed to be.
>> The Irish accent got me, man.
>> You're traveling around with Kate and you're like, "Oh, Joseline." Like, bro, turn to the left at this girl that's sitting right next to the fire who's way more attractive. Well, and you even get a shot of Kate in I think it was at one of the tournaments or something. She's just there like this, like daydreaming about him, too.
>> Oh, she was. Yeah. No, no, for sure. And there's a subplot that got cut out actually where Watt and her were trying to like Okay.
>> She ultimately like rebuffs at the end, like they don't end up together, but there was like a tension thing there happened.
>> It seemed like there were a couple relationships they were trying to get together cuz that the girl that hangs out with um and DJ and Roland. There's also a deleted scene where they literally go consummate their relationship.
>> Oh, dang. Okay.
>> Jocelyn and William.
>> No. No. Roland and and and uh the her maiden.
>> I think it is Christian.
>> Maybe it is. Funny thing about her, the character that travels around with Joselyn.
>> That's who he wanted to play Joseline the director.
>> And they said there's too many like we need an American. There's too many people like for I don't want to use the word foreigner because that's probably not what they said, but they wanted a somebody without an accent basically in the park. hearing her talk. I understand why >> she's French, I believe. I looked it up cuz I was as a part of the awards. She's great.
>> She's a French.
>> She's great. She did a great job. I'm sure she would have been great as Joselyn, but the studio >> Mhm.
>> the studio was the one that stomped that out. So, he just made her her like lady in waiting essentially, but that was supposed to be the original >> Joel.
>> I mean, I might even say even her her maid's a little maybe a step >> maybe even a little bit step ahead.
>> No, anyone who can rock that hair that was just like >> Yes. Oh, yeah.
>> She did great. Have you ever acted before? I'm not criticizing her. I'm just saying it always didn't make sense to me that he was pining over this woman when I when she >> You're traveling with one dude.
>> The camp, bro. You have got a unicorn in your >> Teen all over. Pining all over.
>> Seriously, >> Buffy is right >> right there, bro.
>> Uh, all right. He wants to go home. He's or go to the next thing. He's like, "No, you have to make an appearance and dance at the banquet." And he doesn't know how to dance.
>> Yeah. But Roland knows how to make a tunic out of it.
>> I love that when she comes up. What's he What's he wearing tonight? And Roland's just looking at the tent out.
>> He's like, "Yeah, Roland, what am I wearing?"
>> And >> throw your dude under the bus, by the way.
>> H with a light green trim and uh some wooden buttons.
>> Wooden ducks.
>> You mean like this tent?
>> He's going to sound a music this thing.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. All right.
>> The von trap kids came out in the curtain and it's the same kind of thing here.
>> Came out advice. Um, you thought these guys are going to teach you how to dance?
>> Oh, no. Absolutely not.
>> And what doesn't lead? He follows like a girl.
>> He just stops. He almost looks at William like >> punches him in the face.
>> Then he's got the thing up there for his broken nose. We don't know if that was the left or the right for one. He pulled up there, though.
>> True.
>> It was lucky. Um, and then thankfully Kate shows up and saves the day again.
And finally they accept her into the group here >> and she teaches everyone >> when he's nice to her. It's a good time to dance and she's like, "No, >> be nice." No, she says, "No, >> no, >> no."
>> It seemed like there was some force conflict here. Like this the part where he sends her off cuz he doesn't want her armor. And then later on with Joselyn and William, I felt like there was parts where it's like, are we just arguing to argue here? Did you just need some drama for this part or whatever?
>> Manufactured. Yeah. Without any sort of precontext that led up to that. It's just all of a sudden he's off the >> Well, I just think it is reasonable that like they're kind of on a budget. So for him to be like, "No, I'm going to keep my armor of from another man that doesn't even fit me an antique," I can understand. Yeah.
>> But no, the like conflict for conflict sakes I felt like came most later in the movie when Joslyn is like, "Don't win."
>> I'm like, "Okay, that's when he goes." Right? Like Kate Stan right there.
>> Oh, I And I see I thought it was earlier when he's walking off cuz he didn't win.
And then he's like, >> "You're a silly girl."
>> That I got because he's pissed that he didn't get to fight Adomar.
>> And I don't care that he's pissed off at the rest of the world, but this is your boo thing. you want this and she's showing up.
>> She's there to say, "What are you wearing tonight?" And he's like, "Shut up about CLOTHES. IS THAT ALL you talk about?"
>> Anyway, >> right. He shows up at this party and he he ries her up with the Bible. Which I thought was really impressive, right?
>> He's like, "You remind me of the Bible."
And I'm like, "Where's this going?
>> Never been opened.
>> How are you? How are you going to save this? Never. She's never been open."
But Roland, I haven't uncrossed her legs yet. I think is a line later on in the movie. And they hit it off. They start dancing. And of course, Adam, I'm pissed.
>> Get this bastard. Why don't you show us the dance from where you come from?
Stupid madeup country that doesn't exist.
>> Yeah.
>> Is he on to him here a little bit? Why would he try to blow him out of the water?
>> So, he might have been.
>> Show us a dance from Gilderland.
>> Or it seemed like a way to embarrass him.
>> Maybe. show us your dance that he would have to even if he's the only guy from that country, he's the only one who would know it. And then you're dancing alone in a banquet with a bunch of people. Yeah. I think he's starting to put two and two together though because Adamar is big on the jousting circuit, right?
>> Yeah. Who's this guy?
>> He probably knows everybody, right?
>> He's the guy that knows like who's the backup third baseman for the Cincinnati Reds.
>> Exactly. So he's like, >> "You know what? Let me try and get this fool. Okay. Show us a dance from your homeland, man."
>> Well, he didn't know is that David Bowie came from Galin. Oh, hell yeah. David Bow, we did.
>> And uh >> Well, and William walks into this party looking like he just Yeah. Like he just stole something. A tent, but also like I'm not supposed to be here.
>> Not Not exactly confident. But this gives us your wicked moment, right?
Where those two dance together. And so then the Joselyn like is can sense he's not comfortable and then >> she saves his butt.
>> Saves his butt.
>> Yeah. comes in there and does the >> lap and all of a sudden golden years crank up the Bowie on the >> That was so great.
>> Yeah.
>> All dances are off. Whatever you learned.
>> Yes.
>> Goodbye. Cuz now we're just like who gives a damn. This is from Gland. We're doing whatever we want. Freestyle cuz David Bowie.
>> Yeah. So he kind of saved him, I guess, right? He doesn't have to know a formal dance, right?
>> So thanks Adamar.
>> Dude just storms off.
>> Yeah.
>> So freaking I hate you. I don't even like music.
>> I'M GONNA GO to a war now instead.
>> Yeah, >> your dance is stupid, Kate. Pie.
>> Okay, so you knew a dance. Big deal.
>> Yeah.
>> Kate makes him this new armor that's thinner, smaller, and just as strong.
And I love how >> when he comes out in it, all the knights are laughing their asses off at him. And it takes one guy's got four dudes trying to help him get on a horse >> and he just hops on his, everyone shuts up.
>> That's cool. Whatever. because it was like a new way to heat the steel. She says that was how the movie covered it that she's made this new armor that's like razor thin.
>> Yep.
>> I didn't feel a thing.
>> Yeah. They test it out.
>> The battering ram out.
>> Teflon.
>> Yeah. Right.
>> Or not teflon.
>> What's proof thing?
>> Kevlar. There you go.
>> Teflon. He made a frying pan.
>> Just a bunch of >> They could have coated it and then the lance just glances right off nonstick.
Wasn't there a guy just covered in in cast iron frying pans that rode out there?
>> Oh, I wish clank clank clank clank.
>> It's sir pan.
>> That was cut. It was cut from the training montage.
>> Sir cast iron. He's terrible.
>> I can't hold the lance cuz these are non-stick gloves.
>> Yeah.
>> Just slides right out.
>> Slipes. Yeah. Just >> fry an egg. Just don't use a butter knife on me. It's >> bad.
>> No metal utensil.
>> Scratches it up.
>> Uh, all right. This is the the tournament where we everyone figures out that Edward is the Black Prince of Wales or that Kovville is and Adamar is supposed to go against him and they withdraw >> and everyone's like, "Oh crap, I'll go figure it out. I'll go figure out what it is." And this is where Chuster finds out >> who it is and goes and tell you you got to withdraw.
>> He's about to put the flag the white flag up to draw.
>> Yeah. And Kovville looks really disappointed. Y >> and William just rides.
>> He sees I think William kind of sees him. Maybe he's like, "All right, let's do it." You know, >> he's got he's got grumpy face, so he's like, "All right, I'll hit you with >> everyone in his team is like, oh jeez, this is >> Yeah.
>> And and Cher comes over like you'd knowingly endanger a member of the royal family. You out of your freaking mind.
>> He knowingly endangers himself, >> right?"
>> Yeah.
>> Which is of course that's what's >> it's sound reasoning, but also maybe you kill a prince.
>> So that would suck, right? They're not going to take that lightly, right?
>> Yeah. Well, he wanted to be here.
>> Yeah. You know, he said >> splinter in his neck.
>> He said he knowingly endangered himself.
>> Did he kill him with a middle finger?
>> Oh, no.
>> Exactly. And he and >> Edward respects the hell out of this because when he says >> he William calls it out and he goes, "Oh, you knew and still you wrote." And he goes, "I love this line. It's not in me to withdraw."
>> And that's proved throughout the rest of this movie. The man has no >> his pull out game sucks.
>> There's no quit. That's right. He can't not with Trump.
>> He can't. He's so annoyed that he didn't get to beat Adamar. He starts being a dick. This is the scene you talking about earlier. A silly girl with >> I'm going to have a tantrum in my tent.
>> Yeah. This is the other point where this is good for nothing. Unwarranted. There was no leadup, no nothing other than, you know, he's having a tantrum because >> Adamar didn't ride, you know.
>> Exactly. To see >> he is he's 21 years old. So, I mean, immaturity is not outside the realm of possibility.
>> Um, and then we had a montage of William just kicking ass all over Europe in tournament after tournament. Adamar has to go fight a real war, so he's not competing, but he does have the sports section delivered to him.
>> Yes, I love that.
>> Gets gets the uh very fancy.
>> Here's the Sunday scores. Uh, the sports section. He's rick >> jumping news today. Just >> sitting on the toilet. Who won this one?
Oh, again >> out on the battlefield sticking somebody as square comes up. Oh, again.
>> It's cool. He's got blood on his cheek.
Neat.
>> I The next scene I know it's super It lays it on really thick. But I love the love letter scene where they all pen the love letter together to Joselyn and they all use like >> pieces of their own, you know, either broken love lives or or people that they're >> um you know, Cher's currently married.
There's a deleted scene where Olivia Williams is his wife. There's like she's there in London when they go back, right?
>> But um >> yeah, it's so good. It's at this part too where they all become invested in his love for Joselyn as well because before they're like, "Oh, don't let you know, don't let a woman come between us or between you and a jousting. We got to focus on this."
>> And they're all like, "H, all right, screw it. Let's let's win her back, right?"
>> And I love how William's like, "I got to start this by saying something about her breasts.
>> That's got to be like number one thing."
>> Are you sure about that? You needed to start at awful and then go right into it like well a little higher. Let's start with boooos but maybe >> maybe higher.
>> Her neck.
>> Her neck.
>> Adam's apple.
>> Something. And then doesn't Kate go her breasts weren't that impressive.
>> Yeah. Right.
>> Yeah. You get a little sense of Kate's like >> I should be with him. When she gets that little quip out, right?
>> A bit catty.
>> It's just fun. It's another fun like ensemble moment like you said and we hear a little bit about the background of each of these folks and so it's it's like >> and Watt cries about you know I miss her like the sun misses the I'm like getting choked up >> like the flowers miss the rain >> and I miss you >> and we find out Kate's husband's passed away right and she says love should always end with hope and hope guides me and which is a quote from her husband >> all that stuff so good >> it is good >> and then he tries to sign it William >> and Cher say, "Don't you mean Olick?"
And there's like this moment of realization in his face and then it fades out and it's perfect.
>> Yeah.
>> Perfect. I'm so glad.
>> And then they don't put it on there. He says, "From your night and whatever."
>> He doesn't want to say a fake name.
>> Yeah. He just says, "You're what I don't remember."
>> This is the prime scene to be cut out of a 2hour movie like this. And I love that they left it in there.
>> Yeah.
>> Because it's so good.
>> Well, it fits the whole vibe of the movie, right? I think you're missing a piece if you cut a scene like that out.
>> Well, if you leave in the scene where he poops in her Cheerios and then take out the scene where they fall back and or starts to like him again, >> then the letter says it's can't believe it's been a month since I've seen you.
I've seen the new moon, but not you.
Right. So, it's been a little while.
>> Yeah, that's good, too.
>> They talked, right? Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> We get to Paris. No Adomar. This is a big Paris tournament before the final one, the World Championships. And Watts rides in. Watt rides in with the present from Joselyn.
Did she send me something? She did. Did she?
>> Which means that Joselyn kissed that dude >> for sure. My lord hoped you'd have something to send in return. I hope that's all that happened. What if it had been something else that she wanted to send?
>> Oh jeez.
>> William, follow me to this test.
>> Well, it's going to take a couple minutes. Come with me.
Just a couple though.
>> Terrifying.
>> It's so funny.
>> You need to loosen your armor if you know what I mean.
>> Um they're betting on So they're in the pub and they got a 50 gold flooring bet on the table from these Frenchmen which is just a shitload of money. They're talking about I could start my own business if we win this.
>> Yeah. Several times over.
>> Several times over. Right. And Roland's kind of the last one and he's like uh English men will not win because English legs are wobbly on French soil or whatever. Uh, they just started shouting stuff.
>> It's a bunch of baguette [ __ ] that they're saying just to make them mad and take the bet.
>> They were like, "The Pope's French."
>> That's what I'm saying. But when what makes Roland finally say yes is when he says the Pope is French. He said, "Well, the Pope might be French, but Jesus is English. You're >> dude, >> so silly."
>> And uh that's when they sing the song.
He's blonde. He's pissed. He'll see you in the list. Likenstein.
Likenstein.
He's blonde. He's tanned. He comes from Gala land. He comes from the land.
>> Gal I was I was getting to Arnold there.
Okay.
>> Sorry. I was waiting for somebody to join me. He's German.
>> We We were harmonizing behind. But it is a beautiful moment where like again I think it does a good job like that you have all these tournaments that all this time has passed and so it does make sense that they have these weird songs together.
>> They're bonded now in a different way.
>> Yes. Yeah.
>> And this is where Jocelyn he comes out and sees her and he blows it. She's expecting poetry and he's like my horse's flanks will >> a little bit of a like a catfish moment because where was this letter writer >> that I was because all six of them aren't there?
>> Uhhuh.
>> Give me poetry. Uh, titties.
>> He does. He go he defaults right back to what he was going to start that letter with and he says your breast >> and then she >> fine your neck. What? Like come on.
Where's this dude?
>> Yeah, dude. It's not good. That's where he says you're going to if you truly love me, you'll lose this tournament.
>> You'll do your worst, right?
>> I'm interested to know how come that bugs you so much.
>> I feel like it's a little bit of like if you're a competitor and an athlete, >> then like you want to be able to compete.
>> Yes. That's all he wants to do. Yeah.
>> And so that's the part where I'm just like, don't you know who he is?
>> Yeah.
>> But she want That's the thing. She wants him to prove >> that she has by doing >> the one thing he will not do or wouldn't want to do.
>> Unless he leans into he says, "I will not lose."
>> Yeah.
>> Right.
>> Yeah, >> dude. But then he does.
>> He says gets out on the horse and what are you doing? What are you doing?
>> Losing. Oh, it's good. I don't understand. Neither do I. Yeah.
And we've all been there.
>> We've all given up important parts of our identity for a person.
>> 100%. Just why did you >> I don't have no idea.
>> Cuz love getting hit in the face with spaghetti over and over again. The three of them stand there just >> I love how they're just looking up at it showering down too. Like >> you know there's just a PA off camera with like a load of linguini and just throwing it. Yeah. I wish they would have accidentally cooked it one time and just had it sliding all just wet noodles all over his face. That would have been great. Great.
>> I love too how they the girl is like it's romantic, right? That we're going to lose every single dollar we have.
Isn't that romantic?
>> Are you a blacksmith or a woman?
Sometimes I'm both, she says.
>> But yeah, she's taking it the best out of all of them.
>> Yeah, for sure.
>> Yeah.
>> And Joselyn's making out with a poll of he loves me. Oh yes. splinters in her tongue >> getting his ass kicked right in front of me. I love it.
>> Then she he's getting his shoulder cranked out of the >> Yeah, I think they're pulling it back in. Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> And she comes back. The lady in waiting comes in and says, "My lady says that if you love her, you will not lose another match.
>> That you will win this tournament."
>> Perfect.
>> Because who who hasn't been there? Like which shirt should I buy? This one or this one? You should buy that one. And then they buy the other shirt and you're like, >> "Why did you ask me then? What are we doing here?"
>> Yeah.
>> And he says, "There it is. Your Venus, your love, and how I hate her."
>> Right.
>> Yeah.
>> Chunk.
>> Um, >> back to winning.
>> And he just starts whipping ass. A helmet flies in. I'm like, "A lucky souvenir for a fan, right?" I just imagine Bob >> Uker.
>> They just get to keep the helmet. I can put my popcorn in here.
>> There's a head in there, right?
>> It's kind of crazy, man. Uh, and this is this is where it is consummated because after this tournament, there's that moment where Chauser sees her sulk slinking maybe to the Williams tent as comes to Lancelot >> and they finally uh consummate as as earlier in this, you know, when he's trying to explain, Roland says that they just want you to prove that they haven't uncrossed their legs for nothing, right?
And he's kind of a jag to her in this moment.
>> He didn't go to banquet. She's like, "We missed you at a banquet." He's like, "I'm going to go to your stupid party."
>> I know. And then she like when they start making out, he she doesn't know you're hurt, >> right? And he's like, "Oh, woman."
>> Like grabs her arm and like moves out of >> there. Like don't You're going to get some, dude. Just relax. Just let it happen. Don't be mad. Just take the >> You couldn't screw this up if you just shut up.
>> You get hit with sticks every day.
>> You smile again.
>> Just smile again. You couldn't handle one little poke in your bad bruise.
Little baby cry cry.
>> There is a moment other than the consummation that's important here is she says that my my maid tells me that sometimes your values call you William.
>> And he just says, "Yeah." And she doesn't care.
>> Yeah.
>> Mhm.
>> And actually calls him William for the rest of the movie. Right. Even before he's outed.
>> Right.
>> Sometimes they call you Peter Parker.
>> Yep.
>> Guess who else I am, though? Uh they get to the boat ride back across the English Channel and they William flashes back.
It's been 12 years. They're all talking about how long it's been.
>> Um which means some of them went back without him over periods of time.
>> And flash back to when he was his dad had sent him off to have a chance at a >> better life with Sir Ector who was played by the same guy who played Little John in Prince of Thieves.
>> That was Sir Ector in that scene. Yeah.
Love that guy. What if your job was main chain dragger across the channel?
>> It's the same dude in the flashback and then the right now. Yeah, he's been doing >> your job is just >> to pull a boat from England to France.
>> Every day.
>> Every day. Over and over again. I don't know how many trips you can make in a day. I don't know how long it would take.
>> And he's very cheery. Like, so what brings you to England?
>> Which basically means you're walking cuz you said walk up and down the boat.
walking to France.
>> Yeah, >> that's wild.
>> Ripped him.
>> Bless his heart.
>> Why Why isn't he Arnold Schwarzenegger?
>> He should have been Conan.
>> Listen to me.
>> Welcome to France.
>> Welcome to the wheel of death. We call it the chain.
>> Hold on cuz I'm just going to pull fast and it's going to go for a while.
>> What brings you to England? To ravage the women.
>> You hear the lamentations. It's nice.
>> Uh we get the boys are back in town montage when they all come in the parade. It's great.
>> It's a big full circle moment for him because there's another kid, you know, waving from the stock >> at him >> and Adamar shows up.
>> Kind of flashback to him being that kid as he passes a little bit.
>> Yeah. He sees a vision of himself standing there and kind of >> and they all line up and this is where Adamar comes up next to him. You realize he's in for the first time since they fought. He's going to get a chance at Adomar again, right?
>> And Adamar pulls up to say that he likes horses more than women.
>> It's a weird thing.
horses, women, and then calls Jocelyn a thoroughbred that belongs on his mantle.
So, she's a horse and a trophy, >> right?
>> Before she's before she's a woman to him. Yeah.
>> This is how he sees her. Exactly.
>> And that he's entered into negotiations with her father.
>> Yep.
>> And that she's to be as bride and he's just gritting his teeth.
>> He like turns to the sign, >> motherucker.
>> But I said all those things and I wrote a letter. I shouldn't have been at war for so long.
>> Isn't she the target? He says, I love the line. He goes, "No, she is the arrow."
>> Yeah. So good.
>> Target.
>> Yeah. Right. Exactly.
>> Uh and while the joust is going, everybody's getting ready. There is that, and I do want to call this out.
It's a tiny little 30 secondond scene where Adamar's talking to some other dude and he says, "How would you beat >> Olick?" He says, "With a stick while he slept."
>> It's fantastic.
>> Played on a horse.
>> Can't do it.
>> Yep. Right. He's gotten too good since the first time you faced him, right?
He's just >> been ripping through every >> He's a goat now.
>> You can't beat him, so you better put points on your Lance.
>> You cheating so o completely because here's where where I understand why he did it. If he had just stayed out of Cheapside, >> none of this happens. But he hasn't been there in 12 years. And so the urge overtakes him to ride his horse into his old neighborhood.
>> Yeah, it's pretty blatant though. He's all singing in the rain kind of walking.
>> He's not like in a cloak with a hood on or anything.
>> There's no stealth.
>> There's too much joy in this man's heart, Dave.
>> Yeah, I get it.
>> Yeah, he's ripping ass on the J circuit.
>> It's raining. He's like, "Oh, it's good English weather." You know, >> got Joseline. I mean, >> wouldn't you be singing riding your horse or your hometown?
>> Are you so old, Rick?
>> Yeah.
>> When we joust, I always say I'm you.
>> Mhm.
>> Yeah.
>> This little girl. Can I have another, >> please, sir?
>> Um, >> can you keep a secret? Absolutely not.
>> That's right.
>> Well, Shelby lives there still.
>> Yeah.
>> He's blind, sir.
>> Mhm.
>> Sorry to all the Brits that listen to this. Um, his father is still there. Oh, I can't even get through this scene when I watch it now without getting emotional.
>> But when he sees his dad and his dad realizes it's him >> cuz he says, "You changed your stars or you followed your feet." That was the thing he said. Follow your feet.
>> That's how he knew it was him.
>> Yeah. As he followed his feet, right?
He's He's crying. I'm crying.
>> No, it's a beautiful moment.
>> It is.
>> And it's 12 years in the making. I mean, without a doubt, it's possible that he wouldn't have been there.
>> Oh, for sure. Especially considering life expecties probably in the 1300s.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> Craziness fishnetss.
>> Of course, Adamar finds out.
>> Yeah. and somebody points out the window and this is the moment where he goes out on the roof to fix the leak for his dad.
Yeah.
>> And he sees him up there and he just, you know, it's freaking over at that point.
>> I do have How do you How does him fixing the roof let him know that >> he's not being truthful about his lineage.
>> If he's Well, apparently just saw that and then looked into it, I would guess, because >> why would a knight from Gildland be in here in Cheapside fixing roofs for random peasants? But he could be he could be delivering the message like he said.
>> Yeah, I suppose.
>> Could be. But I mean it it was probably a local too that knew who lived there.
>> That's his kid looking up there, right?
>> That lady that was hanging out. It was probably the little girl's mom. Kid came home. Guess who I just met.
>> Yeah.
>> It was William said he was cuz William out to the looker. I was Can you keep a secret? I was born in Cheapside.
Shouldn't have said that. Nope. Nope.
>> Straight home. Told her mom. Mom told Adamar, "Now you're going to be arrested when you show up to the >> joust." Yeah, there not a lot of urgency as far as arresting this dude either.
They all kind of walk.
>> They're going to meet him like when he shows up to joust is when they're going to rest him and it's a great scene. His crew is telling him basically it's over.
Who died? Who died? Sir died, right?
Yeah.
>> Right.
>> And they all want him to run.
>> Yeah.
>> Even Watt at one point he turns to Watt, he goes, "We're not runners, right?" And he kind of smiles for a second. He's like, "No, we >> this time we are.
>> We got to run." Right. Yeah.
>> And Joselyn in an amazing bit of acting and I want to know how people do this.
How do you close your eyes and make one tear fall like this?
>> Oh, it's so good.
>> No, like usually when people cry in movies, their face like and it gets all crunched up. She just blinks and >> tear. It's all the dirt. No, it just >> it's just pollen. Terrible allergies.
really rings true for both characters because >> yeah, >> it I'm 100% with William when she's it's easy for her to say someone who's never lived a life of poverty to say, "Oh, I will run with you and we'll sleep inside with the pigs so they don't freeze in the winter." And she says, "The poor can marry for love." And when he says, >> "You speak of what you don't know."
Yeah. They both like I get why she's saying that cuz she doesn't get it. And I also get why he's saying this. We can't >> I'm a knight. Yeah.
>> And we're not going to live like that.
We can't live like You don't even know what that's like.
>> Knights don't do that. They don't run, right? Yeah.
>> He says, "I'm a knight. I'm not gonna run." And >> Yeah. Even Chower's like, "We can't convince him to do it.
>> You got to run." But >> dude, >> and I run.
>> And he is arrested when he shows up at the list. And then >> in prison, >> Adamar shows up just to be a dick to him.
>> Yep.
>> In the cell. He's like, I need at least one more chance of this movie to be an absolute bastard. In case you guys don't hate me enough, yet again, let me punch this guy.
>> I'm thinking you got your arms up over this wood. Just swing it into his freaking temple.
>> Just act like you hear >> what?
>> Yeah.
>> It would have been amazing if it turned into a Three Stooges thing where he's like, "Oh, I finally got you."
>> Yeah. Just kept whacking him in the head every time he turned.
>> Naked gun that [ __ ] >> Yeah. would take all of the drama out of that, but it would have been hilarious.
>> You know what's the most embarrassing thing about this for Adamar is he comes in, he says, "Those that strive for the stars often stumble at a single straw and he crumbles it." Like that dude picked a straw up off the ground just so he could come in and do this bit. And he was looking around going, "Oh, oh no, you know, kill and I'm going to go in. I'm gonna crush it in his face." And you know, he picked that up out of some horseshit out in the street, too.
>> Sitting outside. What am I going to say?
>> It's got to be good.
>> Oh, here's some. Should I use a prop?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Side whistle. No.
>> No. No.
>> Save that. Save the side. Exactly. Going to hold it in the window to get the nice lighting with it.
>> It won't be as cool. Look how we got you.
>> Uh Williams's thrown in the stocks and his friends stand there to defend him.
Mhm.
>> And now it looks like in the in this scene, and this is my out of all the ones they cut, the scenes they cut, I thought, "Yeah, they probably should be cut, but this one I wish they'd left in." Chowser delivers a rousing speech in defense of William here that's cut cuz he says, "Listen to me." And they're throwing tomatoes at him. And they cut it now to make it look like the crowd doesn't even want to listen to Chower.
>> Yeah.
>> Which it works, and it's fine. But he gives this incredible speech for his friend to the point where the the crowd's chanting for him to live. Yeah.
at this point >> and then the prince shows up.
>> They should have left it, >> right?
>> I Yeah, they should have cuz I was like just shut up and let Chelseer speak.
>> Yeah.
>> Hear what he's got to say.
>> It's the one thing. So, if you ever get a chance, go on the DVD or the Blu-ray or whatever and check out the scene.
Might even >> I might have to buy the movie to >> I hope it's on YouTube also, but like Yeah, it's really really good.
>> And if that's in there, it makes more sense that the three Jedi show up in the front of the row then, right?
cuz that's what they look like. It's like they all unhood like Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are up front there. Yeah.
>> The way this is so satisfying from a writing standpoint that you bring everything back around and movies that we've covered so many times where there is that there isn't that connective tissue where every scene should be a consequence of the scene that came before. It's so many of our movies we cover are just like and then this happened and then this happened. But here you get this full circle moment of the kindness and the honor that was shown to the prince earlier comes back around just the moment that's needed to save this man's life. Not only save his life but to make him a knight for real.
>> Yeah. He's like, "Oh yeah, yeah. I I went back. My historians went back and checked his lineage." Right. He's very has has a very ancient lineage of nobility >> and my word is [ __ ] >> My Right. But he says, "My word is beyond contestation." That's the way it was back then.
>> He has spoken. Mhm.
>> Right. And when he leans in to William and he says, "What a pair we make. Both of us trying to hide who we are."
>> Yeah.
>> Because your men love you and if I knew nothing else that would be >> When isn't like Adamar is like his general too?
>> Yeah. Right.
>> Well, he was called in because or away from war because he was like like in the Patriot just pillaging and burning and raping and all this stuff. So they pulled him off the front lines. He says they were doing a bunch of ungodly things or uh >> committing all the newest sins in all the latest ways or the oldest sins in the newest ways.
>> Right.
>> He doesn't even deny it when he rides up.
>> Right. Right.
>> Yeah. And then he >> un catches un unlatches the the stocks and knights him in front of all these people and now he's not just Sir, he's Sir William Thatcher.
>> Chills, man. It's too damn good. And then to have all his friends like, "I knew you could do it, my baby boy. I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT."
>> He says, "Are you fit to compete?" And he's just like, "Oh, yeah." And he goes, >> "Damn right. I'll have your opponent informed of it. You look for his shield on the list." I was like, >> "Here we go. Let's go.
>> Here we go."
>> James Pervoy had a small part in this, but he killed it as Edward in this. And we finally get to the last joust here >> and there's this little scene where he's talking to his his uh woman blacksmith that he's like he's got this lady that we've never seen the whole movie that's working for him and she's like it's nothing but you know >> sugar something >> sugar and goolac or whatever it is and he crushes the fist and there's a tip on it. Son of a [ __ ] >> You droopy [ __ ] >> a cheater >> cuz he he knows the guy told him you have to cheat. You can't kill him.
>> And the first run at each other, he ends up with the whole front part of the lance in his shoulder.
>> Stuck in his shoulder. Yeah.
>> To the point where the armor is like bent in and >> Well, it's like clearly bleeding.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. So very different than anything else we've seen in all seen the whole movie.
>> And that's when you get Kate her wonderful Irish accent. He tapped that.
>> Yeah. He tapped that.
>> And then Watt's like that SON OF A [ __ ] >> YEAH.
UM the second run now it's one to nothing here >> and the second run he can't hold the lance and he drops it and now he's riding with no lance and just gets nailed again. Yeah.
>> Now it's two to zero.
>> Yeah.
>> And he can't breathe. And this is when he rides up and he says, "In what world could you have ever beaten me? Such a place does not exist.
>> I hate you." And he's got his armor off at this point and he's he can't you know and this is where his his dad shows up.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. With >> what are you doing to me? Brian Heglin.
>> Yeah. Because Joselyn wasn't there at first and then he's like where where my booth and then >> she's here William. And so is your father.
>> Right.
>> And then he leans in and says, "Let's dance, you and I."
>> Oo.
>> With no armor on.
>> Yeah.
>> This is like the Rocky moment where he gets his eye cut. Right.
>> His eyes might have well turned red.
just like Teen Wolf, you know what I mean? Just like, >> "Give me a Craig.
>> Strap it to my arms."
>> Like when um the Vince Cortho, the key master of Gozer, looks at the >> looks at the brought the dog, >> the horse carriage driver, and he just flashes the red eyes at him. Right.
>> Come on, man. Uh you must unhorse him or kill him, Roland says. Right. And the armor comes off and he says, I can't I can't breathe with it on. And he's trying to grip the thing and he can't. And so he he looks at Watt and says, "Lash it to my arm."
>> Does that help?
>> I mean, you can't drop it, >> I guess. But he like it looked like he had trouble lifting it.
>> Maybe. I mean, once you get it in the pocket, it's probably fine, but he couldn't even hold the thing.
>> Maybe they latched it to the pocket into into his whole forearm, whatever. Chower realizes he needs a minute cuz they're about to raise the flag and he goes, "I missed my introduction." And buys him the This is what I mean. It's an ensemble. every single person is why this happened, not just William.
>> Right.
>> Mhm.
>> And he gets up on top of the prince of England's >> throne.
>> Yeah.
>> He don't care.
>> All right. Let's hear it. Let's hear what you got.
>> Yes. And he it says, "Born a stones throw from this very stadium.
>> Sir William Thatcher." Just the whole speech, everybody goes absolutely bananas. Home field advantage.
>> And then because you just can't leave it at that. And I'm already emotional. No, you have to have Watt lean in and go, "That's your name, William. Your father heard that." I think it was Watt that did that >> cuz he couldn't see what was happening.
So, he heard it though.
>> And he rides armorless at him and it's this there's two shots. There's the one the tracking shot like overhand of him just with his huge lance. It's a great shot. the one of Heath Ledger >> when he's got the thing like this raised up and he's screaming his own name >> freedom >> which William but no but it's basically the same thing right and he's it's so intense it's so awesome >> that I don't even care if it's a implausible like to win a lance or a joust without armor on >> all you got to do is miss like just get out of the way of that dude's lance >> might make you more nimble you can like whoop >> and nail him with yours And this dude goes flying back his horse >> right off the horse.
>> Knocks him into the Avengers.
>> Knocks him right.
>> And he's hovering above the ground, too.
And they all pop in.
>> My daughter's like, "Why is he hovering in the air?" I was like, "He's hallucinating right now. This isn't happening in real life."
>> It's Loki.
>> It's he the soul stone. Was it worth it? What did it cost? EVERYTHING.
HAWKEYE shows up.
>> Yeah. And they all come in >> different parts of that line. You've been weighed, you've been measured.
>> Yeah.
>> Mhm.
>> Uh, God save you if it is right that he should do so. Right. He says, and they give him the wink and off they go.
>> So damn good.
>> And the g the dad looks up teareyed.
He's like, I still can't see.
>> But I bet you >> this probably is really great.
>> I bet it's awesome. Yeah.
>> And the celebration is crazy and they're all just mobbing each other. And then the kiss, the big kiss that fades everything away into like the starlet sky >> changed his stars into Orion.
>> That's right. The hunter, as you called earlier.
>> Yes.
>> Good job, movie bringing it all together.
>> It's not my fault. It's a masterpiece, guys.
>> We'll make fun of the next one. Okay.
Yeah, >> I'm sure more will come out in the awards.
>> Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. Uh, in fact, let's get to that. Well, before we get into our actual awards, let's talk about recasting this movie and what that would have been like in 2001. If we had cast a certain Austrian body bodybuilder, Arnold Schwarzenegger, in a night's tale.
>> Come on. Yeah.
>> With the armor on, he would be the size of a house.
>> Yep. I want him to be the guy in the church. Blasphemy. That the priest.
>> Yeah.
>> Did this not shock you ladies? You've been cursed with beautiful face >> just like mine.
>> You need to get ugly fast.
>> Come here. I'll help you.
>> I said sir actor.
>> Yeah. I think it' be very funny if it's his big body that is sitting against the tree >> and then William goes put his armor on.
>> Yeah.
>> He would never let anyone say that he [ __ ] himself to death. No.
>> Yeah.
>> No, I died because my muscle was too big to fit inside the suit and it crushed me.
>> Just the triangle there from where the Predator.
>> Oh, there you go.
>> Predator showed up in medieval times.
When's that movie happening?
>> Did we just come up with gold on accident?
>> Predator joust.
>> Everyone wants him to be like samuris and stuff like that. I'm like, "No, no, give me the knights movie." All right.
Here's what the patrons had to say.
Kenton came in and said, "Count Adomar."
Imagine Arnold saying the stylish of you to joust in an antique. You can just start the new fashion if you win or you've been weighed, you've been measured and you just you don't have as big a bicep because my 24 inches around, you know, like this and is only 15 is so is so puny.
>> God help you.
>> Uh Steve Extreme says, "Paul Bettney, imagine Arnold pumping up the crowd, telling of Sir Olri's triumphs before the joust begins. It sounds magical in my ears. Just want to hear him say the protect of Italian virginity.
>> Good stuff. Vicki came in. Look at that.
Our girl from the Jeffrey Chower.
Hearing Arnold reciting lines like in Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper.
>> And that line is insane >> when you think about it. Like >> it is. I just waited a year so I knew what a whisper sound.
>> That's right. You could have found out in >> one day. One more time.
>> Everybody else. Sorry guys. So, you you see why this is not up on the screen because my laptop kept dying even though it's plugged in. I need to get a new one. So, now we got to run these up on the screen. So, sorry about the big block of text up here.
>> But, if we could say a thank you to our patrons.
>> That's right. Thank you very much.
Appreciate you guys. Uh, all right.
Let's keep this thing rolling and I will do my best to not scroll too far on these. Uh, all right. Vicki, we just did Eric Valov comes in and says, "Prince Edward, this is one of my girlfriend's favorite movies." So, I let her take this one and she said, "Make him the prince that knights Williams." This is my word. My weird >> and this is beyond contestation.
>> Is that a real word?
>> I cannot say this word.
>> Contestation.
>> Contestation. I don't know.
>> When a prince says it, sure. And he sure and he puts a sword through William's shoulder >> as he knits him.
>> Harrison jumps in and says, "Chauser again has some of the best lines in the movie, right? I will evviscerate you in fiction. You little pimple, you stupid little I was naked and you're going to be naked forever."
Okay, come on. Uh, and then Johnny Golab rides in and says, "Uh, Prince Edward, Stoic, Regal, that's Arnold. You men love you, and if I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough. But you also tilt. Tilt is hard to say in the dagin. Um, but you should withdraw and this is nightly to All right. People give me a lot of dialogue to do this time around. But I appreciate you guys.
I think uh we have once again determined that Arnold would in fact make this movie 100% better. And it's already great. So that was quite the feat for Arnold to pull off.
>> Yeah.
>> In this.
>> I am interested to hear what you think of this movie, James. Yeah, I'm not sure what you're find. It's been really >> I'm trying to keep everybody in suspense, >> you know, but it's going to get to the point where I'm going to have to let out the bag. So, I have to keep listening.
>> Baited breath.
>> Okay.
>> I don't I hopefully by then I'll have made up my mind.
>> Yeah. Well, >> could go either way.
>> Uh, all right. Let's Let's randomize.
I'm going to plant it. I promise I will.
Uh Dave, how many times am I hitting randomize on this thing?
>> Four.
>> Four times.
>> First one would have been me. Second one would have been Dave. Third one would have been me. Fourth one is Rachel number one.
>> I go >> if I get no points.
>> Okay, it's going to start with Rachel goes first. Then we've got the mayor coming in at second, then me, then Dave, which means you'll pick first on the Steve James supporting actor award.
>> 104.
>> All right, sounds great. But we are starting with the Will Patton Award for Intensity for the actor that even though they were just in a movie about jousting love struck knights, they're like, I'm going as hard as possible. Let's get it.
>> YOU WANT A WAR? I'LL GIVE YOU A WAR.
>> I don't want them to gain another yard.
>> You blitz all night. And if they cross the line of scrimmage, I'm going to take every last one of you out. You make sure they remember forever the night they played a titan.
>> That's right.
>> What were you doing with a gun in space?
>> Now, I also want to say and call attention to the fact that we have the counter back up here.
>> Yes, we do.
>> All of you that can see this, here is our counter. It is now tracking something completely different. It is no longer puns, but it is instead the number of episodes since someone has screwed up their awards, right? And so it we haven't had a screw up yet today.
So it's at one.
>> All right.
>> All right.
>> Cuz this episode counts.
>> Bad a thousand so far.
>> So far so good.
>> If it gets to 10, we are having a pizza party for the cast and everyone gets a Lamborghini poster. Okay. Pizza Hut and Lamborghini.
>> Get a poster. Yes.
>> We will never see pizza.
>> Never never never.
>> We reach three. You give us like a frozen pizza that's not cooked. If it gets to three, I'll be shocked.
>> If it gets to three, everyone gets an orbs. Now, to be clear, >> to be clear, a screw-up isn't I don't agree with what you said. A screw-up is you didn't do the awards correctly.
Right. So, that means for the trash can, nominating somebody not because it was a bad acting performance, but because you hated that character the most. Right.
Yeah.
>> Uh it would also be a one scene wonder that was in six scenes or more than two scenes. Or I mean, we've had people throw the main character out there before.
>> Yes. Or by not putting anybody by saying, this has happened a few times, no one because there's no choices. Just leave that blank and you don't end up stealing that spot. Somebody else >> your flag, >> right? Or you could screw it up by giving two people for an award because that is not planting your flag, right?
>> So, those are all the ways you could screw this up. Other than that, we did have somebody give a final rating out of 10 instead of a BMR or GMR one time.
>> We beat you because we love you.
>> That's right. That's right.
>> Truthfully, this gives me big questions about this form that you collect.
>> I We feel like we've explained it a thousand times, but it's >> As someone who makes surveys at my job, I'm like, maybe you write some of this in tiny gray print.
>> We need to.
>> No way to explain it again.
>> No. Rachel, who is your you got number one pick here.
>> Yes, I'm ready for a point. Come on, baby.
>> Let's go. You got this >> for I'm gonna pick Count Adomar.
>> Oh, there it is. That's He was my number one for sure.
>> Not me.
>> Yeah, but really.
>> And I mean, I had a list I had a little list for this in case I wasn't first, but that is my first pick. I think he stood out immediately so well as a villain. And then also in a kind of strange way like how we just did with Street Fighter, it's like, man, this guy's acting the best out of like anybody in this movie.
>> And so for that, I'm giving him >> perfect award.
>> I love that. All right, so Mayor, who's your pick?
>> Well, Adamar was probably my number one.
>> Okay, >> I'm going with Alan Tudek as what?
>> What?
>> Barnacles.
>> He was Is that who you're going to go with? He was going hard.
>> Yeah, he went hard. Like there were so many times where just thought he had popping out of his neck. He was just 0 to 60 when somebody pissed him off.
>> Absolutely, man.
>> You know, if he was really intense, he'd be sunburned.
>> Or if he was in a tent, he wouldn't be sunburned.
>> Good point.
>> Yeah, >> Dave, I got to tell you, I'm I'm stuck between I also would have been Rufus if I had But I don't think it's a clean sweep because you said you wouldn't have. So, we Okay. Well, that's fine.
But I'm really stuck here between two people >> because >> I'm going to pick the other You'll probably pick the other one. I think William had a peak moment of intensity.
>> Yeah.
>> And and that's worth a vote. But I also feel like I think I'm going with Paul Bettany on this one. I think his speeches >> Yeah.
>> Sorry. He was on my list if I was down the list.
>> Yeah, for sure.
>> Um really, really good stuff from Paul.
>> Yeah.
>> Um and locked in. So I Are you going uh with Heath or you going? You have to because I mean he was intense his quiet intensity and then especially at the end when he's having his final battle it's like let's dance then >> his name William he's got an injury and >> the infection is starting and he's still jousting it's good stuff intense stuff I don't hate it >> well let's see what the page here and here's our guy Pat McAffrey the hemoccast just like we talked about right so he knows about this stuff and he comes in and says look at that Alan Tudic as what? Pain. Lots of pain.
>> Mr. T. Pain.
>> Allan went all in. And you feel how frustrated he is when initially threatening Chower. He ran out of words.
He was a true friend and would throw down at a moment's notice.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh, next one comes from Matt Masik and he also went, "What? Alan Tut, is it Tddik Tudic?"
>> Tuttik Tudic.
>> How I've heard it forever.
>> Okay.
>> Alan Tudik. Uh, he really wanted his money to eat and his constant screaming that he'll fong people was intense as hell. I truly believed he'd fong everyone in earshot. All right, >> why fong this fong this next shirt?
>> JP Doer went ALLAN TUDIC TUNIC.
>> TUNIC DID IT.
>> TICK AGAIN. IT'S THE WHY. It's the why.
And I hate it.
>> Tudy. Why? Because >> JP Doer said with a shout out to Paul Bettney. Allen always goes allin with every role he plays no matter how minor.
When we found out Chower lost a lot of money, he went in and really hit him.
>> Mhm.
>> This is starting to run away with it here a little bit. But we do have somebody here. Sheila Bear went Heath Ledger.
>> Yeah, Sheila.
>> There you go.
>> Proud of you.
>> First off, rest in peace. He displayed true acts of nobility and humility. He showed compassion and brought the power when needed.
>> Yeah, he was great.
>> Nervous Pervvis then comes in and says, "Paul Bettany, >> look at this."
>> I am shocked.
>> I am too.
>> Me, too. because I would have gone we both would have. Yeah.
>> So, uh I enjoyed watching him hype up the crowd. I could feel the excitement and the energy of the crowd. I believe there's one more vote and that's Jason B for Paul Bettany.
>> What is the tally at then?
>> It's three to two to one. So, I'm not going to catch I don't think there's any more votes for this. I'm not going to catch the mayor here. Yeah, it goes to the trash can. So, Mueller is going to take home this point, but he does say Jason B says every time Paul Bettney's on screen, he controls the scene with so much intensity. Every time he steps up to introduce Sir Olri von Likenstein, he looks like he's about to burst a blood vessel. Absolutely. But that means that Alan Tudy is gonna win the Will Patton Award and Mueller gets himself a point.
A point.
>> You did it.
>> Nice job.
All right, and we can move on to the next award, which is >> the Steven Seagull Trash Can Full of Dirt Award that we give out to the actor who had the worst acting performance in the movie. Are you guys ready for this one?
>> Let's get it.
>> It's a trash can of dirt.
Love never dies and neither do they.
Love is eternal and has a long time.
>> That's right.
>> I invented Justin.
>> You get first pick in this draft, my friend.
>> All right, I'll say this. This was a tough movie.
>> Yeah.
>> To do this.
>> Yeah.
>> But I am going with Kid William. He was terrible.
>> Kid William is who I had. Dang it.
>> Young William the flashback William. I thought that's what his name was. Kid William was his actor.
>> Oh, it was actor's name. So, yeah. Okay.
Just little little baby William.
>> He's bad. And you know what? I'll fire another stray at another child cuz I'm picking next. And I'm going with the I always say I'm you.
>> She was on my list, too.
>> Lone girl.
>> Lone girl. Sorry, lone girl. Not great.
Dave, >> mine fell to me.
>> You're number one.
>> Yep. Um, IT IS JOSELYN'S ASSISTANT. OH NO.
>> OH, SHE was there.
>> She was on my list.
>> So wooden. So like, >> and now Lady Joselyn has something else for me to say to you.
>> Okay, goodbye.
>> Yeah, >> she says you will not lose another match.
>> You can now stop sucking.
>> She was on my list, too.
>> See you later. It maybe makes more sense to me like knowing that she's French and like maybe English is not her first language, but I cannot imagine her leading the film. Yeah, she is a beautiful woman, but she also could not be there and you'd be like no change.
>> Fine. She just every line said by somebody else like Joselyn.
>> Joselyn couldn't show up. So >> yeah, >> Rachel got last.
>> I think I might get in trouble for this one actually. You all have spoken so highly of this man.
>> But who is it? I would give it to James Puroy as Kleville.
>> I know. I'm sorry.
>> Wow.
>> How dare you?
>> I think it's more about like the role that he's in like that. There's not much that happens. He delivers some meaningful lines, but I don't find it to be intense and beautiful, and I don't find it to have a range.
>> Have you Has anyone ninjaed you yet? No.
In all the time that you've ever been here?
>> Am I about to have an HR violation?
But you're getting a ninja thrown at you for a James Pervoice.
>> I know. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
>> I love it. Plant your flag. You hate them. You hate them.
>> It's your pick. It's your pick. But I >> When I thought about it, >> when I thought about folks that like seemed kind of like a wet towel in terms of a range, then that one came up.
>> A wet towel in terms of he's doing like one thing the whole movie >> playing Prince Edward.
>> Yeah, >> that's the one thing. That's what he had to do. That was his job.
>> And I'm And for that, I say the script andor the the movie is a part of this failing. But also, I didn't come into this being like, this is so hard. So perhaps I've just forgotten all the other trash actors that were in the movie.
>> You did it.
>> Hey, ultimately, we're going to find out. Maybe everyone agrees with you and I'm There's been times and I'm the idiot.
>> You have to eat that. But if that happens, you will eat and swallow this if they >> Oh, you're going to end up in the ER.
>> Dang. Nope. That ninja is going to have a terrible time, though.
>> He really is going to hate it for red ninja.
>> All right, let's see what the patron.
>> All right, Pervoy. Got to put him on there. All right, here we go.
>> Not sorry.
>> Um Josh Bowman says, "Roffus Su."
>> Oh, >> what?
>> Whoa.
>> Yeah, he's a bastard, but only just I personally felt that he could have done a lot more with the role, but he acted like a dime store douchebag instead of a proper rival to Will. Now Josh, this isn't getting this isn't getting the thing ticked because I just disagree with you.
>> Yeah, >> that's Wow.
>> That's he's the one that makes this movie go.
>> Yeah, he's only as good as the villain, right?
>> He's a quiet jerk, but he's still like that that douchy.
>> He just walks in oozing doucher, right?
Yeah.
>> Uh and Joe Shakenfelder says Shannon Sasson gets a vote.
>> Wow, that's two off the board. It saus look at I am I candy.
>> He's the white dog. This guy.
>> Yeah, >> he quoted as you can see why that happens.
>> Sausan is look like I am. Sasson is like look at I am I candy.
>> I love it. Joe, don't ever change. Uh Kenton checks in and says Laura Frasier.
What is wrong with that's eight?
>> Oh, that's Kate Chver. Kenton.
What?
What? What? It just felt like she never acted before. It was a tough call because I love this movie. I couldn't think of anyone else worthy. But there was this >> We named like three people. Yeah.
>> At this table.
>> That's a tough movie.
>> Matt Mik. I know. But >> it is. But >> Matt Mason, we need you, buddy.
>> Come on, Matt. Someone on the board.
>> Matt.
>> Adamar's [ __ ] boy. I don't know his name, nor do I care to learn it.
>> Dude was awful. His intros were no Jeff Jeffrey Chower. He was flat when he delivered everything. So it's his cross.
>> I thought that he was supposed to be bad though. Like he was especially at the end when he's making his last speech like I can do what he does.
>> Chower makes them all look bad.
>> Anything you can do. All right.
>> Okay.
Rufus Su just gets another vote.
>> Steve Extreme said Rufus. Count Adomar is the very definition of a trash can.
He had the exact same monotone voice and expression through the entire movie.
Whether he was wooing Jocelyn or punching William in the stomach, that is crazy talk, you guys.
>> That absolutely crazy.
>> I am shocked.
>> 100%.
>> Vicki, Vicky, here. This is the final vote.
>> We need you to tie with one of us so that we can have a tie off. Vicky says >> Alice Cooper as the girl.
>> But that's not enough. Oh, no. It is. It is.
Your vote counts as one. Okay.
>> She said the best. The spark of her life is smothered in shite. Her spirit is gone, but her stench remains. Does that answer your question? Oh, Inepside said it the best. Oh, Roland said it best. I can read. Let's do that again. Vicki said Alice Cooper as the lone girl. In Sheepside, Roland said it best. The spark of a life is smothered in shite.
Her spirit is gone, but a stench remains. Does that answer your question?
I can also put words together >> you can >> into sentences sometimes.
>> I thought she meant the singer, >> right?
>> Alice Koopa.
>> Alice Koopa.
>> So guys, we have a tie here.
>> All right.
>> Between me and the two people that picked Count Adomar.
>> Mhm.
>> Who did you think was worse?
>> Well, I know >> it's the girl.
>> Right.
>> Yeah, it's school's out for the summer, man. Alice Cooper.
>> Thank you guys. And I don't You're not just doing that because No. Yeah, she was on my list.
>> Not even close.
>> Not at all.
>> All right, lone little girl. Guess what?
Whenever I hand out trash cans, I always think of you. You're going to trash can full of dirt. Little girl, wherever you are, probably 40 years old now.
>> Yep. Just sitting there. That was my shop and I blew it.
>> Yeah, I didn't keep the secret.
>> All right, I'll take that. And uh we move on.
>> Go mark it.
>> Thank you, sir. My uh our next award is the Bixby Snider one scene wonder given to somebody that was only in one max two scenes and really still did a great job with what little screen time they had.
>> Oh no, it's boiling acid.
>> That was bananas.
>> I'd buy that.
>> There is some kind of bug that we haven't seen yet.
>> Okay, USA.
>> Paper. Those have never seen people.
>> Frankly, I find the idea of a butt that thinks offensive.
>> Prepare to die. Powers.
>> So, he hit it. And one place he knew he could hide something, his ass.
>> All right, I got first pick on the Bixby Snider.
>> I'm going to get what I want either way.
And >> I'm giving it to old man in the stocks who just go >> change stars. Berwick Kaylor.
>> Shut up. Bur Berwick. What's your name?
>> Berwick Kaylor.
>> Berwick Kaylor.
>> Yeah. Jerk >> stocks guy.
>> That's my pick. Dave.
>> Well, I'm in a bit of a pickle now.
>> Were you going to pick him?
>> I have two.
>> Okay.
>> That I really wanted and now I can have either of them. Yes.
>> So, >> h >> too many riches.
>> I'm I'm I'm rich.
>> That's right.
We got to leave one for Rachel.
>> Yeah, >> I'm gonna go the priest.
>> Oh, the priest with the rings.
>> Yep.
>> Yeah, it's a good pick.
>> And I'll tell you what the other one was if anyone else pick. Hopefully someone else will pick it. Okay. But >> we'll see.
>> Hopefully you pick it.
>> Rachel, who you got?
>> Well, cuz I need it. What was it?
>> So, do again. I had a really hard time.
>> Tell her if you want to.
>> Well, I don't want to. It was, "How do I beat him?"
>> Oh.
>> Oh.
>> Oh.
>> Beat him while in his sleep.
>> That guy.
>> Yeah, >> that's a good one. He's also the >> That's a memorable line.
>> The uh you were here to be arrested guy with the mop head. Remember that guy?
>> I don't remember any of these people.
I'm just kidding. But but no, I did watch this movie. Sometimes when I watch, I'll have my like uh the awards in front of me, but that's not how I watched this one. And so then I'm like trying to think back and I was like who was only in one thing and it was the two people you named.
>> Yes.
>> So um yeah I'm going to uh take the assist from Dave and the guy who says how you win >> with a stick.
>> Okay. Got it. Who you got for me? Mayor >> clarifying question. Are the lone sharks >> pair a one or individual?
>> Uh you have to you have to plant your flag on one of them. They were in only two scenes. But they both have their own titles. Yeah. No, that's fine.
>> Then in that instance, I am going to go with the sword battle guy. The first sword guy that came rushing into the arena.
>> Who?
>> The guy he fought.
>> Yeah, the first when he had his first sword battle. Yes. Uh yeah, that first sword guy.
>> Okay. Sword guy.
>> Yeah.
>> Got it. I don't think any of us are going to get a single vote. I don't >> I think the two of you might. Those are the ones when when I had to put >> I love it. No, I like when people go way off the board and pick the random people. So, I love all of our votes. I don't They tend to pick the most well-known person that was only in one or two scenes, you know.
>> Wasn't it? Street Fighter was like the gong guy. No, I'm thinking of >> You're thinking of Surf Ninjas.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Yes.
>> Well, if I was in fourth position here, it would have went to the horse that took a huge dump.
>> Oh, that guy on the back, smashed into the fence, and >> went hoofs up. I was like, god dang, that really didn't feel good for that horse. That was impressive. All right, let's see.
>> All right, first one up is Sheila Bear and she says John Thatcher >> portray portrays a father.
>> He was in more than >> he was in scenes.
>> Go to zero.
>> Guys, I'm sorry to tell you, but it >> back.
>> Come on, pizza party.
>> Number of episodes since the awards many scenes.
>> He was Let's see if we can figure out.
He was in the scene where he dropped him off with the knight >> flashback. He was in the flashback on the stocks with the parade. He was in the scene where he went and visited him in his house and was mixing the final and he came to the final battle. That's four. That's double the amount of scenes needed >> for the Bixby Snider. So, I'm sorry, but we're back to Sheila.
>> But you're right. People are going with the most well-known instead of looking deeper. Look deeper.
>> Look deeper, guys.
>> Sheila, I still think you're great cuz you voted for for sure >> Heath Ledger.
>> Uh, nervous Pervvis comes in and says, "The third shirtless guy from the left during the opening credits, he looked like he was having the most fun.
SEE THIS IS >> for shirtless guy. I love it.
>> From the episodes I'm on, this is the Bixby once seen wonder. It's like these random human beings I've never seen in a film.
>> I love that. I love it. Eric Valov says the cat >> meat vendor on my list >> when re-watching this. That dude stuck out and I was like that's my Bixby Snider. I know that. There's also the guy that was like cockadoodle once.
>> Yeah, >> he denies him. Cockadoodle twice. Yeah, he denies him.
>> Was that a joke that he was telling or something?
>> No, he was talking about Peter denying Christ three times. Yeah.
>> Oh, >> that's he was retelling the story of the B.
>> There we are.
>> Oh, man. Off the board also for the cat vendor. Uh, all right. Next up is Jason B and says, "The little poor girl from London." I thought she did a good job AFTER WE JUST AS WE JUST TRASH canned her. Dave is out of here. She genuinely seemed excited to meet her hero and find out he was from there.
Is this going to be?
>> Can you Is there negatives?
>> Oh, no.
>> Well, this doesn't I mean, there's only one thing.
>> It's fine. It's just good.
>> JP Doer says, "THE OLD BISHOP." WE GOT THERE, THAT boy JP.
>> There you go, Dave. Um, I thought he did rather well as uh rather well added. A friend of mine in college would say at random PLACES LIKE, "YOU DAD DESECRATE THE HOUSE OF GOD." That's Well, that's good, man. Uh, and then Josh Bowman comes in and says, "The old bishop."
Look at this.
>> All right. All right. All right.
>> Uh, this something I also quote. You desecrate the house of God. Anytime I'm slightly inconvenienced, I laughed harder at this moment than any other movie because any other one in this movie because of his delivery. So, there you go, guys. That means that not only is the priest winning, but Dave is going to move into first place by himself.
>> The Bixby Snider one scene winner goes to the priest with the pretty rings.
Nicely done. Cursed with a beautiful award. That's right. We did it. And we are now down to the final award of the evening, the best supporting actor award. We take the main villain and the main good guy. So, William and Adamar are off the board. Say, who gave the best performance in a supporting role?
So many to choose from on this one. This is going to be hard.
>> I don't I'm looking for a clean sweep.
>> Let's get it. Really?
>> You know, every place you go, there's always someone who thinks he's a badass, right?
>> Then there are those few who are.
>> Are you some kind of a badass karate boy?
>> So, you could potentially jump out to a two vote lead with only essentially a month and a half to go here.
>> I think I'm going to. Wow.
>> Cuz this seems very obvious to me.
>> Okay. Well, you got first pick.
>> The answer is Jarvis.
Paul Bettney.
>> Paul Bettney. He killed it. He was the heart of this movie to me. I mean, as much as William is, can't pick him, but him Paul Bettney coming up and just he blew it out of the water.
>> I agree with you. I think there are lots of good supporting. I would have gone Paul Bettney.
>> Mhm.
>> But I I think even at fourth, I'm going to like my pick.
>> Yeah. But yes, everybody is good at everything. I had a list of four for this one, actually.
>> Who you got? Rachel, you're next.
>> I'm going to take Ellen Tudy as >> Watt. Mhm.
>> Probably been the second person I would have picked after that.
>> Yeah, that's for sure.
>> Those are probably my first two. I'm going to I'm going to go Kate.
>> God dang it.
>> I'm going to just I know she wasn't going to win. I just wanted to vote for cuz I don't like her.
In case she watches. What if she's watching?
>> We thought you were great.
>> You're the one that voted for her, not me. I would have picked you, >> Laura Frasier. Okay. All right. You pick Kate. You sure?
>> I'm taking Kate.
>> You want to trade? Can I hammer please?
>> Trade you.
>> Um, then I'm going to go with Mark Addie as Roland.
>> Yeah.
>> Yep.
>> Robert, >> I was deciding between him and Kate.
>> He really We didn't I think out of everybody, we probably spent the least amount of time talking about him, but he was great in this movie.
>> He really was.
>> Yeah. As kind of the big brother.
>> Yeah. I thought he did more or he caught my eye more than Allan, honestly, in that like duo of two goofs.
>> Sure. For sure. I love his one of his opening lines where he's talking about his soul is gone and blah blah blah.
>> The spark of his life is smothered in shite, >> right? Yeah. Yeah. He's great.
>> All right. Well, let's see what the patrons had to say. And Joe Shankenfelder comes in and says, "Paul Bettany, come on. Betany whole job in the movie is Ledger's wingman."
>> You damn right, >> Joseph. Couldn't have said it better myself.
>> Perfect. Uh Heiccast comes in and says, "Paul Bettany." Oh, good lord. We might be talking uh about a clean sweep here.
Well, well, before let's go any further, would you have all gone Paul Bettney as your first pick?
>> Yeah.
>> So, would I for sure?
>> So, we'll give him credit for the clean sweep if it happens cuz we're two patron votes in >> and we're there.
>> Uh, hype man for Sir All Rick. From the first moment, his pasty naked butt trudges on the screen until the final postredits fart joke, which I Yeah, forgot to talk about. Chower ruled. Uh, Harrison comes in and says, "Oh, there it goes. Mark Addie. Dang, I got to vote though.
>> There you go.
>> This was tough. The whole group of Williams friends are really good and I had a hard time choosing. But Mark Addie has so much charisma. He just makes the whole thing more enjoyable. We'll see if it's a nine to one situation like Ral Julia not winning the freaking clean sweep.
>> How does he not win that?
>> Crazy.
>> Johnny Golab when Paul Bettney one bright shiny corn kernel in this heap of triceratops turd.
>> Tell us how you really know. Honorable mention to Laura Frasier for being hot and winning the postredits fart contest.
>> I got an honor.
>> I did not see this. This had a postredit scene.
>> They're all like having a fart contest.
>> Didn't know.
>> Yeah.
>> Now I got to watch it.
>> I don't know if his final review made it in here because it's randomly picked and he's only been two out of the four awards picked. Johnny Golab has beenounding me on Discord for how much of a piece of crap he thinks this movie is, and he's been waiting to eviscerate it on the awards just to bother me, I think. So, I'm interested to see if his final review made it through the algorithm.
>> Yeah.
>> But yeah, he thinks this is a heap of triceratops turds.
>> Well, >> you know, plant your fle.
>> Yeah.
>> Horse turds. Triceratops turds.
>> Kenton went Mark Addie. It's not over yet, sir.
>> With one more to go. He plays an incredible friend in his belief in William as a wonderful throughout the movie. Great actor. With one more vote, we could end up in a tie here.
>> And we can't because they've already hedged their bet. Well, they might change their mind by the time they time you click this mouse down a little.
>> Okay, we'll see.
>> They can just lie.
>> Mason, >> no. Don't you dare. Hold on for just a second. Have you heard my feeling?
>> Mark Addie is the only correct answer.
In my opinion, Roland was the heart of the film and always tried to be Will's voice of reason. Addie was so phenomenal in this film. He deserves all the recognition. Now, if I can make my case, >> let me let me let me make my case here.
Make your case.
>> Let's hear it.
>> Paul Bettney >> did a great job. But was that role really that much of a stretch for him in that he is essentially playing a fanciful British writer, which is right in his wheelhouse, right? And he did a great job, right? But >> Roland was the beating heart of this group of people. He was the big brother.
He was the guy that everyone turned to that even Will turned to right >> when he didn't know what to do. And Mark Addie, I think >> absolutely deserves the recognition of winning and yeah, it'd be an upset, but I think one that the show would celebrate.
>> Yeah, absolutely. Um, now if I could make my case, YOU ALREADY SAID you would have picked them.
>> Wait, but then I've maybe swayed them with >> part of my job is to hear alternate testimony and make a ruling based on >> what I think is best. That's why I'm the mayor.
>> That's fine. Right.
>> You I'm going to go with justice here.
>> Well, wait. Are you sharing your >> your mayoral uh >> is it time?
>> What is the verdict?
>> Yeah. Go ahead. Rachel, you can go first.
>> Well, I don't have a title out of the two of us.
If there's a pecking order, but I will just say that I definitely appreciated what Maretti did, >> but I think it's a much uh like quieter, more subtle like I'm just a kind guy.
I'm a like you said the heart of the film of like being a good person. He believes in William first. But there's >> he's not he's not a degenerate gambler.
>> Oh, now you're >> Now we're poo pooing people with gambling problems.
>> Just saying in this movie.
>> No, but >> it's only a problem if you can't afford it.
>> All right.
>> But I do I do think I would still stick with um Tosser and I mean he's literally naked and sitting in the like painful grass.
Listen, just because Paul Bettney did a great job doesn't mean he was the best supporting performance.
>> Ryan, you know what's correct here. You know what the right thing to do is here.
And I and and I think as a person in office, the right thing is what you should be doing and most not not lowering yourself to the the um special interests of all of a sudden I want to have this win. You ran on being upright, right? You ran on that platform of of just rock solid uh uh can't can't be respectful, can't be bought, all that stuff, right? And would a pro gambling vote really look great to your constituents here?
>> It probably wouldn't. No, >> you know, it wouldn't. But um did you was honesty something that you ran on with your platform?
>> Honesty, prior to having all the information presented and and I appre you've had your chance. Was honesty something in was honesty something that you ran on in your mayor?
>> Well, I mean, as much as a politician can be honest, sure.
>> Okay, perfect. So, did you or did you not mayor say that you would have picked him first?
>> I did, but I don't feel like I'm on trial here.
>> It doesn't mean it means it's not I am I will support whatever you do because I care about you and your opinion.
>> It's not It's not flip-flopping to change your mind if he's presented with new information. Right.
>> Were you new information? We all watched the same movie. I mean, but the new argument came forth about heart and soul, Mark Addie.
>> Boo, stick to your guns.
>> Heart and soul of the movie.
>> Don't listen to her.
>> I I I am confident that Ryan is going to do the right thing here.
>> So am I. Yeah. Okay. Well, the time has come to you, mayor.
>> Uh, yeah, that crowd's hitting me right now. I think I got to go. And >> we wait. We can wait.
>> We can wait through a computer breakdown. We can wait through your >> Here's the thing. Yeah. I I Mark Addie was second on my list. I think he's still second on my list even after the compelling argument that was made. I'm going Jeffrey Chaucer.
>> All right, fine. Paul is going to win.
>> Two points.
>> Two points for Dave.
>> Look, I'll go Mark.
>> You would have gotten a point even if you voted for me cuz we just both would have gotten one.
>> Oh, that's nice.
>> You just didn't want me to get one.
>> I just wanted >> I understand.
>> No, I understand.
>> I'm I am I do see what you're talking about though. I think about like the Lord of the Rings movies and the Hobbits and like the little Sam.
>> He really is.
>> But then there's just something like in the arc of the Jeffrey Chaucer character that is so engaging and charismatic.
>> Well, it's time to finally put our final thoughts out. And I'm in I'm really all joking aside interested to see >> where this lands and if Johnny's vote ends up in here because that could skew the whole thing. But let's go.
>> So if not, put it in Discord. Steve Steve Extreme comes in and says, "I just finished a popular HBO jousting show.
And do you know why it wasn't as good as a night's tale? It didn't have a single Queen or David Bowie song anywhere in it. The crowd in the HBO show never even did the wave. I want my fictional night jousting TV experience to have all of that. Good movie from Steve." And then we send it over to Dave. Yes, sir. So, this Okay. This is Rudy with jousting, right? your underdog tale. It's a sports movie for all intents and purposes and it's got heart. It's got a good romance.
It's got action. It's got everything that I want in a good movie. And anything that I would say bad about it would be a nitpick. If anything, when I started this and I said it to you when I got here today, I was like, "Uhoh, this is going to be a hard one. This, as far as I'm concerned, this is a good movie." And I didn't had there wasn't a point of this movie where I was like, hm, >> I wish I wasn't watching this. It was >> it was good movie. Full stop. No question. Okay, look at that. That's the second vote for good movie. Vicki comes in and says, "A true feelgood film with just the right amount of action, drama, and comedy. One of my regular rotation and a good movie straight up with a cracking soundtrack to boot. What's left to say except you have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have not been found." wanting. That's our third good movie vote as we head over to Rachel.
>> So again, this was the first movie that I've done these episodes for that I'd actually seen before. So I was very excited to like have the nostalgia of like h I thought this was so good.
>> Does it hold up? And I just think it absolutely does. This is a feel-good uh like fun thing to rewatch or watch for the first time. Even though it was based in 2001, the music is really fun.
Heath Ledger does a really great job in it. Um, and yeah, I would just totally I was talking to a friend this morning about it and she was like, I'm gonna go home and watch this movie, which I would recommend because I would consider it a good movie.
>> Awesome.
>> All right, >> that's four. We'll do two at the turn here. Ste Ashila Bearer comes in and says, "This movie was fun to watch and love the storyline, great acting, has a great mix of action and how love conquers all. Good movie."
>> Whoa. And then nervous Pervvis says I agree with the majority of the critics that this is a good movie except well I guess it's still the majority at 59%.
>> I really like the dynamic between Will and his crew and could easily watch a longer movie with them in it. Guys, I'm so bummed there was never a second one there. They had one planned.
>> Oh, really?
>> I'll give you the 30 secondond version of this.
>> Adamar was going to kidnap Joselyn after what happened cuz he wanted to have her anyway. They were going to have to get onto a ship to chase after him. And it was going to be in a pirate movie with Watt, Roland, and William on a ship chasing after Adamar and Joselyn.
>> Come on.
>> Yeah. And this didn't get made. Why?
>> Uh Brian was talking about getting the script done and I don't whatever. Oh, they passed because it didn't do great at the box office.
>> Okay.
>> So >> that's why it died. But bummer. Yeah.
Wouldn't that have been great? Just I don't care what they were doing. Just have this band together doing something again. That trio like has great chemistry. Those like two guys in the William character, they're funer than anything.
>> Uh, all right. Mueller, what do you got for me?
>> Yeah. So, I mean, outside of two little writing things that I mentioned throughout the episode, right? They were unearned, >> just kind of William being a dick, right? There was nothing that led to that, nothing that led up to that.
>> Outside of that, this is a great movie, right? The soundtrack slaps. The uh supporting cast is outstanding. It's an ensemble cast. I mean, yeah, Heath Ledger is like the lead, but he's kind of not, right? You don't get to feel that he's the lead, per se, because you feel like all of his group is there with him and around him and everybody is is kind of uh you almost get the sense that they were like friends on set even, right? and how much they enjoyed making this movie together.
>> I think the IMDb rating is low to me.
This is an eight. Good movie.
>> Look at that.
>> Full stop.
>> They were good friends because they all came to set like two weeks early. Yeah.
>> To get ready and they were so excited to be in movie. They hadn't done a lot of movies before.
>> They learned the one sword fight that they had to learn for the training sequence in the woods. And it took them like an afternoon and then they spent like two weeks going around to bars in Prague hanging out together and closing down bars. And then by the time they started shooting, they were all buds.
>> Yeah.
>> I I love that you could be the marketing team for this movie.
>> Nothing almost nothing we've said about it. Have you not went actually >> It's great. It's not an indictment. It's awesome. But it came through. I guess what you're saying is seem like they were friends. Absolutely.
>> And it they were literally >> absolutely.
>> And sadly, Paul Bettney was asked about this movie um at a con. He does a lot of cons for this Marvel stuff and he says that he people come up and quote it to him and he says I remember very little of it because I watched it when it came out but I can't go back and watch it because of Heath.
>> Yeah. And Yeah.
>> Y >> so it's really sad.
>> Yeah.
>> But >> you know what? I'm glad it happened and it's here for all time. Eric Valov says this is a good movie. Not in spite of it, but because of the inac not in spite of, but because of the anac anacronisms, as Matala or Frell would say. Yeah, that's Frell's not here. He'd have been throwing that all over the place.
>> Yeah. What's an anacronism?
>> Like um a song that doesn't belong in the time, you know, like if we were if we were doing a movie >> set in the 50s and someone drove through in a 1985 Jeep Cherokee, that'd be an >> actor. Pharaoh would have just been breaking the music down all episode.
>> Gotcha. It's a sports movie, not a historical period film. And The Underdog winning The Big Game. Think Rudy meets Varsity Blues meets Prince of Thieves.
Cat Meat and Warm Wine. Good movie.
There we go. Uh, and then Jason B comes in, which we didn't. That means we didn't get Johnny's vote.
>> Put it in the Discord.
>> Please post it there or send it in the mailbag even. We'll do that, too.
Overall, I think this is a good movie.
Full stop. I saw this back when it was released in early 2000s and thoroughly enjoyed it and still enjoy it when I can find it on I think it's one of Heath Ledger's best roles and even the soundtrack was great. That means we have nine good movies before I don't mess this up.
>> High tension though. We don't know how you're going to vote.
>> There's never been less tension >> going into a vote as there is the time you hit the damn button. I was so proud of my daughter and I was telling Dave this before. I I'll keep this short, >> but she's 20 years old. You guys all know Jenna. She's been on the show. The listeners know her. And she was heading back to go back uh up north where she lives and she had spent a couple weeks with us and I'd mentioned we were doing this for the show and she says, "Oh, what's that movie?" And I felt like a way I'd failed her in a way as a f cuz I've shown her everything. She's seen all these 80s and 90s movies cuz I've shown them to her and I said, "How did I never show this to you?"
>> Mhm. So, we watched it last night u before she left and >> I I didn't tell her anything. I didn't try to convince her ahead of time that it was great. And she sat there and watched it unbiased. No, never pulled her phone out. And right at the moment when the armor's been pulled off and he hasn't ridden yet, but he's going to and he says, "Let's dance." And all he's bleeding. She just out of unprompted out of nowhere said, "This is a damn good movie."
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> And that's a 20-year-old kid. We're of a different generation. I think it what's great about this movie is it plays across generations, young, old, this group of people that came together to make this, not just the group in the movie, but Brian and the team around it and they shot it practically and they got actual dudes on horses and knocking each other off with Lances. It makes for an incredible film. I think the pick to make the anacronistic music was an inspired choice. I think it helped connect to what it was like for us watching modern sports to this. And I think this movie remains a top 10 film for me. It's embarrassing that it's rotten. Yeah.
>> And critics, for whatever reason, don't like it when you're too sincere, too schmaltzy, or too corny, and they want a little bit of winking and cynicism, and I hate that crap. I I'm good with it, but it's in everything now. I think what's great about this movie is that it wears its heart right on its sleeve.
Good movie. Full stop. I love A Night Sale.
>> Get to the broom.
>> That's right. Do you have any stats on how many blown out knees there were in this movie?
>> Oh, probably.
>> Some guys hanging on them horses after I got dragged by one, >> right?
>> That's crazy, dude. Uh, well, that's it, guys. And so, we will leave you with that. And and for next week, I want to let you know we are going right from this high point of this mountain and we are diving off that thing into the cess poolool that is Battlefield Earth.
Gross.
>> With John Travolta's giant forehead. Uh, a very famous bad movie that I've successfully avoided my whole life and now I'm going to have to watch it.
>> It's on the trash piece list.
>> Long.
>> Have you seen it?
>> Yes.
>> Is it bad?
>> It's very bad.
>> Great. I can't wait for that.
>> Should wait.
>> I want to wait about 6 days and then I'm going to have to do this all over again.
>> And coming off of this, it's going to feel so much better.
>> Oh, that's even worse.
>> Enjoy your rat sandwich. Okay.
Appreciate it. Thank you guys for being here. Thanks Rachel, Dave, Ryan, and uh we will be back like we are every single week. We'll catch you on the next one.
Heat. Heat.
Heat. Heat.
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