Your brain doesn't give half a sh*t about your Happiness

[00:00:01]If you take an animal out of its natural habitat and you keep it in a sanctuary, but you fed that animal food that was not meant for it, you make it grow up in such a way that, you know, animals in its natural habitat wouldn't grow up in.

[00:00:27]and you release it back to the wild or where they weren't a natural habitat, there is a high chance that they won't survive even if that natural environment was the best for them.

[00:00:43]Someone asked me quite a while back to make a video about self-sabotage, but I never really knew what to say cuz I was like, ain't no way. I don't really know a lot about self-sabotage.

[00:00:55]But the thing is I actually did. It's just that I didn't realize that, you know, not only was self-sabotage something that people were doing to themselves, but also something that I was doing to myself.

[00:01:10]You know, it is quite difficult to live in a world right now where you haven't had some sort of something or just some sort of distress happen, you know, in your growing years that doesn't um that doesn't uh what do you call that? That doesn't impact who you are as an adult and how you form attachments with people.

[00:01:33]So much so that apparently um only 35% of attachments are secure.

[00:01:44]35. And that's a generous number.

[00:01:53]Self- sabotage is is weird because your brain doesn't care about you being happy.

[00:02:07]Your brain cares about surviving. Think about this.

[00:02:12]Um, there are some weather conditions where it's usually like maybe rainy, rainy, rainy for a few days. Rainy, rainy, rainy. It's cold. It's all of those things. Then the next day it's sunny and it's hot. And for people who have come out of, you know, a rainy and cold time, you' think, "Wow, it's it's such a good feeling to have, you know, the the the heat of the sun and the sunlight." But for a lot of people who know about geography, they know that it's only hot because it's going to rain in the in the next few days. And for some people, experiencing that period of calmness is almost like a trigger, you know, and it will make them almost feel like something is bad, something bad's about to happen. It's almost like a warning to them that, you know, the peace they're experiencing isn't peace.

[00:03:03]It's more so a time for you to prepare for the worst.

[00:03:13]That's why when you find people who are in good relationships, they end up fighting over the smallest things. They end up almost thinking that this relationship is too good to be true, you know, and you're thinking, well, why doesn't one just snap out of that sort of mentality to realize that they're in a good situation right now? However, it's not that easy. Like I said in a few videos, old hab old habits die hard and you know our brains are things of habit or our brains are I guess entities of habit and they're lazy and they don't like going through different they don't like going through like hard paths if they can go through one singular path that's like easy for them to decode things. So if your brain has a habit of recognizing this pattern of calmness equals there's something bad about to happen, what it will do is most likely, you know, act in a way to prepare themselves or defend themselves already when they're in that calm sort of state.

[00:04:27]Because like I said, your brain doesn't care about being happy, even if what you're experiencing is true happiness.

[00:04:35]It more so cares about surviving.

[00:04:39]And you know, the body is scared that if you really indulge in this calm state, then you will lose your gut to such a point where when the storm actually comes, which it might not even come, you might actually lose your life because of the storm.

[00:04:56]You know, I feel like this is something that the earlier you realize, the much easier it will be when you start forming like relationships. I'm talking about friendships and relationships in the future. Cuz even if you don't want to treat people the same way that you were treated as a child, most times or even not even as a child, but maybe if you've been in a long-term relationship or long-term friendship, most times you will do those things unconsciously.

[00:05:28]Like I had a friend who wasn't in the best situation with their parents and you know they always talk to me about I I've seen it myself and one day they were hanging out with like their sibling and I almost saw them do the same sort of behavior that their parent used to do to them.

[00:05:56]And I'm not going to lie, it kind of made me a bit sad. I had to step in and say, "Oh, no, it's okay. It's not an issue." Like, it's not an issue. I had to step in and say that I'm not even going to come here and say that I had the best situation just like most other people. There is a small percentage of people who have actually had very very pristine like great childhoods.

[00:06:18]But you know the one when I was like 17 I said to myself no we have to fix these sort of issues that you know or the I guess the consequences of these issues that I've had when I was younger or even the consequences of the issues that I've had as a teenager that would impact my my relationships in the future. And you know, it's still something that I obviously have to be conscious about because these are old habits. And it's almost about keeping yourself in check, making sure that you don't repeat those same patterns because, you know, one of the things that I don't want to do is hurt people's feelings. I don't like hurting people's feelings.

[00:06:58]I don't like making people cry. I know that's probably for most people, but it it's really something that I'm I'm genuinely scared of. I don't want to make people hurt. I mean, if like Yeah.

[00:07:08]Not not not in a thing of where like they if I if they did something wrong and I tell them like you did this and you did that I don't want to it's not like that like they can cry I don't care but it's more like a thing of where I did something wrong and to such a point where it it hurt their heart so much that I made them cry I don't want to be that person so I decided that no we're going to work through these things and obviously it is a work in progress but the sooner you realize that even if you say you tell yourself you don't want to be like the people who have hurt you if you aren't careful you will become that person. Hurt people hurt people. And that is the truth.

[00:07:45]And when you're in court one day for assault, when you're in court one day for other sorts of crimes that might have been done to you, you can't give the excuse of no, I was hurt when I was a child. I was hurting as a teenager or I was hurting as an adult. You can't give those excuses because yes, you can't choose what happens to you, but you can choose how you react.

[00:08:12]Like I said, the brain is lazy. So, it'll obviously return back to the default of how you were treated.

[00:08:21]But you know how you are treated, the reaction of that, it's not good. So the sooner you realize that you actually have to work through these things, not only for your sake, but the for the sake of the people that you will care for the most in your like relationships and friendships, the better as a person you'll become.

[00:08:41]And I feel like that's what self-improvement should be. It's not a thing of where you're trying to become the best philosopher. It's not a thing of where you're trying to gain the most knowledge. Not a thing of where you're trying to look max or whatever.

[00:08:56]I feel like it's more so improving yourself to such a point that what or who you were as a person before or the people who have done or the or who the people I'm tweaking who the person you were before or the sort of people who have hurt you in the past can't hurt you anymore and the person that you were before can't recognize who you are now in a good way, you know.

[00:09:24]Um, yeah, that's kind of all I need to say. Um, oh yeah, guys. Um, I've been a bit gone because I've done my hair. And not going to lie, guys, I'm still not even done. I still have to shape it and whatsoever. And also, I am sick. I think I have a stomach flu. It was a regular flu, but now it's a stomach flu.

[00:09:45]And uh, yeah, but I am obviously going to be as consistent as I can. But yeah, that's kind of all I'm to say.