169. Scorsese - Mike & Vittorio's Guide to Parenting

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[00:00:00]Ed night standup comedy special is out right now produced by Victor's Cafe Productions. Myself and Kumlong organized all the filming. It was very exciting. It's a great show. It's out on YouTube on 800 pound Gorilla. Check Ed Night's social media and all that stuff.

[00:00:14]He's a brilliant comedian. It's going to be a brilliant special.

[00:00:16]>> I saw this show. I've seen it twice now.

[00:00:19]He's genuinely I I think a comedy genius and um you got to watch it. He's just there's few in the world better right now. Give his special a watch. It's so sick.

[00:00:29]>> He's the man. We'll put the link in the description as well. Enjoy. Go check it out. It's our first special that we've produced. I'd really appreciate all the support. Comment on it. Share with your friends. All that stuff. Go see Ed Night. Goodbye.

[00:00:40]>> Nice.

[00:00:41]>> Podcasting.

[00:00:42]>> Podcast.

[00:00:42]>> Endless podcasting.

[00:00:44]>> We're back. Well, good morning sports racers and welcome to the show.

[00:00:49]>> Hello >> with Mike and Victoria.

[00:00:51]>> What was that little that little diddy you were singing there?

[00:00:54]>> Well, good morning sports racers and welcome to the show. Sports racers.

[00:00:59]>> Yeah.

[00:00:59]>> Ah, >> it's from a old YouTuber called Z Frank.

[00:01:04]American guy who used to do funny videos and funny songs.

[00:01:07]>> His name was Z.

[00:01:08]>> Yeah. I think his first name is Z and his last name is perhaps Frank.

[00:01:12]>> He sure wasn't Frank Z.

[00:01:14]>> He never blinked.

[00:01:15]>> He never blinked.

[00:01:16]>> Never blinked on camera.

[00:01:17]>> And was that his kind of USP?

[00:01:19]>> No, I think it was the funny videos and songs.

[00:01:22]>> Oh, right. Not the non-blinking.

[00:01:24]>> No, >> that was probably, if anything, that was his weakness. an inability to blink.

[00:01:28]Yeah.

[00:01:28]>> Yeah. Crusty eyed [ __ ] >> Wouldn't that be tough? I think that there was like um the cartels would be at a bit of that back in the day where you know they'd be wanting >> they'd wanted you to tell No. Um did did El Chapo ever have a little YouTube channel where he like kind of tasted different Mexican foods and then killed people who had betrayed him? Did he ever >> Did El Chapo Trap House, which is like a dirt bag left podcast in America? Oh, that's a big Yeah, that's one of the biggest huge but I don't think that has anything to do with like El Chapo.

[00:02:00]>> Maybe he maybe he works behind himself.

[00:02:02]>> No, that would be La Chapa.

[00:02:04]>> That would be Lapa. Um, no. Who's Lapa is El Chapo's wife, I believe. But El Chapo, I think maybe works behind the scenes in that podcast or like his kind of offscreen talent.

[00:02:14]>> He's sort of their comelong.

[00:02:16]>> Yes, he kind of produces um but doesn't like is doesn't kind of get involved >> with a light touch.

[00:02:21]>> Yeah, with a light touch. Yeah, exactly.

[00:02:23]He kind of slightly guides the topics and stuff. Um, but no, the the cartel back in the day, >> one of the things and probably today as well, I'm sure that they they've kept the method, but um, one of >> it broke, don't fix it.

[00:02:36]>> Yeah. What one of the things they would do is they they'd cut your eyelids off.

[00:02:40]>> Jesus. Um, there were such, you know what, and who was I talking to about this recently, but if you're torturing a man and you want to get info out with that man, I mean, just listen. Go straight down to the balls and just start [ __ ] [ __ ] up down there. I'm telling you where my mother like, OH, SHE'S OVER THERE. OH, [ __ ] >> The balls, >> huh?

[00:03:04]>> The balls is the way to >> I mean, brother.

[00:03:07]>> But the eyes are the balls of the face.

[00:03:10]To be honest, the eyes are also eyes are balls.

[00:03:13]>> Ball. Shakespeare invented the word eyeball for a reason.

[00:03:17]>> Did Shakespeare invent that word?

[00:03:18]>> Yeah, it feels like it was sort of on the table. I don't respect him much for that one. I think he did a lot of good stuff, but eyeball was right there.

[00:03:24]>> Yeah. I don't know. People like to wax on about Shakespeare. And I guess he revolutionized things in terms of structure and whatnot. And of course, >> and little hoop earrings.

[00:03:32]>> Little hoop earrings. And um he looked very similar to Paul Mell apparently.

[00:03:36]But um >> less balding, >> huh?

[00:03:40]>> Less balding than I thought in Hamlet.

[00:03:42]He's always balding in paintings like super weird.

[00:03:44]>> He looks [ __ ] red. Sort >> of Bill Bailey.

[00:03:46]>> He looks very Bill Baileyesque. He looks like he's going to do some kind of piano comedy at some point. And then you see meascul Oh, he's a hot young Irish [ __ ] boy from North London.

[00:03:58]>> Yeah.

[00:03:59]>> Kum Longian. Even >> Kongian was Kum Longian >> in his behavior and his movements. Yes.

[00:04:04]He he seemed to have a a hunger that could only be satiated by the vaginal fluids of a widow. You know what I mean?

[00:04:12]>> Right.

[00:04:12]>> That's the only thing that could satiate his hunger.

[00:04:16]>> Did you feel that? Did you haven't seen Hamnet?

[00:04:18]>> I have.

[00:04:19]>> Oh, you did watch it.

[00:04:20]>> [ __ ] Brother, >> boy oh boy. Oh boy. Did I cry a lot?

[00:04:24]>> Oh, it got it got >> three. I'm normally a zero cries per film.

[00:04:29]>> I know. You're [ __ ] You're stunted.

[00:04:31]You're like >> my CPF was off the charts.

[00:04:33]>> Whoa. 3 CPF.

[00:04:35]>> Okay. Now, all right. Cuz I I I cried a lot at the end of the movie. There was there was a lot of Mike tears [ __ ] splashing around the cinema. I think I cried. I had a couple of them. Yeah.

[00:04:47]>> That there might be Hamnut spoilers.

[00:04:49]>> Oh, [ __ ] off. If you haven't seen it, go [ __ ] yourself. I'm scared people.

[00:04:52]>> But it is I will say the film does sort of lead with like like the opening thing on screen is like Shakespeare's son was called Hamlet and he died. Yeah. So, whatever. The movie ruins the movie.

[00:05:06]>> The movie, >> which is sort of what's amazing about the the movie and the book as well, is that it's like you you know what's going to happen, but it's still absolutely kicks your content.

[00:05:16]>> Well, this little kid, this little kid is one of the is a this is a marvelous little kid.

[00:05:20]>> Oh, gorgeous little boy.

[00:05:21]>> This is a marvelous little man.

[00:05:23]>> The man is when he says that he's going to be brave.

[00:05:27]>> Oh, for [ __ ] sake. It was over. Get out. Get out of town.

[00:05:30]>> It was over for me.

[00:05:31]>> I cried. I came. I shot myself.

[00:05:33]>> I was the the craziest boy at Crochan picture house.

[00:05:37]>> I'm my [ __ ] my [ __ ] my my my brains turned to mushy peas. I couldn't cope with it. That kid that little boy there's no like >> this little girl. I can't remember what that's from.

[00:05:49]>> Um I'm going to say good >> Matilda.

[00:05:51]>> I'm glad that cut off from Matilda.

[00:05:53]>> Matilda is so sick. Matilda the musical you're talking about.

[00:05:56]>> Both good. Musical and film both good in their own.

[00:05:59]>> Film unbelieable. Danny Devito's best performance. Where did Ridiculous.

[00:06:02]>> Where did little girl go? I don't know.

[00:06:04]Surely was on heroin by the age of 15.

[00:06:06]>> She does look a bit m like she sort of she was at her cutest as a child and then she just like she's just like a lesbian lady now. I think >> she doesn't really act anymore.

[00:06:17]>> Yeah. See, this is it. And this will show you the the the disgraceful kind of oppressive um results of the patriarchy.

[00:06:26]All the greats of that movie.

[00:06:27]Trunchable, Honey, Matilda, three [ __ ] goats of 90s cinema, the three pillars of our childhoods. Where the [ __ ] are they? We don't know. Devito is still earning a crust. He's in his 80s and he's 3 foot2.

[00:06:39]>> But I mean, there's examples like the the brother, he wasn't he didn't do anything good.

[00:06:45]>> Yeah, but after that, I think there's like one >> I guess you're right, but the brother is not a main part. Like Matilda steals the show. Miss Honey, Miss Dr. these are icons. The brother is not an icon.

[00:06:55]Matilda is hardly an like a an acting performance really. It's like >> she's moving spoons with her mind. It's not an acting performance.

[00:07:04]>> Like it's all very >> like it's big.

[00:07:07]>> What do we need to impress you? She's got a fork doing a [ __ ] backflip and you're saying she's not a good actress.

[00:07:13]>> I don't think that's the acting that did that. I think that's sort of >> You're saying that you Okay, so you're claiming that's all an AI deep fake now.

[00:07:20]>> No. No.

[00:07:21]>> How did they get sort of physical effects like invis? wouldn't have had the technology to do that.

[00:07:25]>> I think they had fishing wire.

[00:07:26]>> No. No.

[00:07:27]>> Fishing wire was invented. When?

[00:07:29]>> They didn't have that then.

[00:07:30]>> When was fishing wire invented?

[00:07:31]>> Fishing wire was invented, I believe, 2006, but you can Google that. I believe it was 2006.

[00:07:37]>> Can we Google when fishing wire?

[00:07:39]>> This is a magical child. Where has she been since?

[00:07:42]>> I don't think she's really been in anything.

[00:07:44]>> Little wizard. They didn't give ranting after that. That's what I'm saying.

[00:07:47]Where did Trunch?

[00:07:48]>> I think Miss Honey is the real That's a beautiful lady who deserves more acting roles.

[00:07:53]>> Miss Honey, was there a sweeter woman in the history of time? I don't think so.

[00:07:58]>> I think Jamali is very Miss Honeyesque and that's maybe why I like her so much.

[00:08:03]>> She's quite honey- and then you're quite Matilda because like you're kind of >> Matilda is one of the beepiest boopiest characters.

[00:08:10]>> Absolutely. And next thing a toaster is [ __ ] you know running the 100 meters in the Olympics. Yeah, I do think that you are Matilda and she's Miss Honey.

[00:08:19]That's that's wild. Um, >> and her daughter.

[00:08:23]>> Yes, >> her adopted daughter.

[00:08:25]>> Honestly, there is a there is a feeling of patrician. Is that Is that the right word? Patrician or >> I'm going to give you that one because I was wrong when I corrected you last episode.

[00:08:36]>> You were. But Patrician, you know, cuz they call when you kill a parent, it's patraside.

[00:08:40]>> That would be a father. Yeah. Father.

[00:08:41]>> A father. And then uh the position.

[00:08:43]Anyway, whatever. There's a feeling.

[00:08:45]There's a parental feeling. Yes. That you are. When I see you and Jamali together, I'm like, "Oh, there's a there's a very kindly woman and her daughter and a really fatheaded daughter who's quite racist and a really fat-headed racist daughter." That's what I think when I see you both together.

[00:09:02]>> Um, generally.

[00:09:03]>> Um, so that makes perfect sense. And then who's who's trunchable? Am I trunchable?

[00:09:08]>> You're [ __ ] >> Big bird stomping around.

[00:09:12]>> Hammer throw. That's >> that's a good tune from the musical. If you want to throw the hammer for your country, >> right?

[00:09:20]>> Um, >> okay. So, and then Yeah. And I I suppose I would be the villain of your life if you were to cast someone. So, I'm trunchable. That's nice. But see, I think like why was there not a movie made like Okay, we got Matilda. There's surely three years later on the strength of that success and cultural impact like Joey.

[00:09:37]>> Yeah. Just like Trunch Trunch Trunch goes to Vegas or something or like >> Bruce Bogtrot. Yeah.

[00:09:43]>> What about drives the world's most dangerous roads?

[00:09:45]>> Yes. Yes.

[00:09:48]Un unbelievable.

[00:09:49]>> Is it Bruce Bog Trotter?

[00:09:50]>> The guy who eats the blood cake.

[00:09:52]>> Yeah, you can do it. Bruce Eye. Bruce.

[00:09:54]Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. But there's another Bruce. I'm worried that I'm No, it's Augustus Gloop in Charlie Factory. We're okay. Different role adaptation.

[00:10:03]>> What if Boo Bog Trotter? What if he the little blood cake eaten um phenomenon? What if he now like for me if I could contact >> like made of blood cuz you know the way she says it's like my blood, sweat, and tears went into that.

[00:10:18]>> No, no, it's blood.

[00:10:19]>> You think it's a huge black pudding?

[00:10:21]>> No. Honestly, I think the cake is full of blood.

[00:10:24]>> I think there's blood. I think that's why it's so appalling. So otherwise, it's just a big great chocolate cake.

[00:10:29]Otherwise, it's just his [ __ ] >> It's paradise for bog driver.

[00:10:33]>> I thought it was too big to eat.

[00:10:34]>> No, no, no, no. It's not just that. It's full of blood. Genuinely, >> it's just a a hu like a black pudding.

[00:10:41]>> It's a big [ __ ] chocolatey blood sweat crumb cake and he has to eat it.

[00:10:46]>> It's just full of all kinds of >> And then you smash a plate over his head.

[00:10:50]>> Yes.

[00:10:52]As Trunchville. Yes.

[00:10:54]>> That was so cruel by Trunch. I can't believe she got away with that at the parent teacher meetings was smashing a plate over >> A lot of what she did probably wouldn't fly if um what what are they called?

[00:11:04]It's not Ofcom. It's uh Oh no.

[00:11:10]>> What?

[00:11:10]>> What are they called? The people who inspect schools.

[00:11:14]>> Um nonsense.

[00:11:16]>> Oh no.

[00:11:17]>> Uh >> Offstead. [ __ ] >> OH MAN.

[00:11:20]>> OFFSTEAD.

[00:11:21]>> You got it in the end.

[00:11:22]>> No, I didn't.

[00:11:23]>> Oh, you didn't.

[00:11:24]>> I was given it. It was an alley from Kumlong.

[00:11:26]>> Um nice one, Kumlong. Kumlong was just telling me before you came that he was at an afterparty at Olivia Dean's Brits after party.

[00:11:33]>> Yeah. What an app for you to not give yourself a microphone. Comelong, >> you see this? You see this [ __ ] that Kumlong's up to? He's up to all sorts of like he's This little horny bastard is a London socialite. He's just finding himself kitted up to the gills at every kind of showbiz party you could imagine, sniffing around hard as a rock, [ __ ] about three Viagra's deep, just [ __ ] bumping into celebrities with >> you talking to my friend Vaz. I I I meant to text him, but I texted you and said my friend Vaz is going to be there.

[00:12:02]>> Your friend Vaz? You have a friend called Va. This is like how you know you need to move back to Belfast. You've got a friend called Vaz. [ __ ] off. He's a ve like a Vas.

[00:12:11]>> I think he's like part Armenian.

[00:12:13]>> Yeah, exactly. What are you doing, brother? These are the people that are coming over on the boats causing us a lot of trouble, aren't they? No, don't talk to them. Don't encourage them. We You've heard Farage. We need them to leave. Um, so anyway, what I was going to say about um, there should have been like a trunch trunch goes to Paris or from, you know, >> well, because Danny DeVito and his >> Trunchel, >> but I think like there's an obvious sequel of like or a spin-off of cuz you know the way the Danny DeVito character has sold a lot of lemons.

[00:12:50]>> Yeah.

[00:12:50]>> And like people are after him.

[00:12:52]>> Yeah. And then they like drive drive away and then Matilda stays with Miss Honey and they quickly sign the papers.

[00:12:57]Surely Danny DeVito and that woman being on the run.

[00:13:01]>> Yeah.

[00:13:03]>> That could be a movie. But I think Danny DeVito's character in that film is so unlikable. The fibers of fused to my head.

[00:13:10]>> Yeah. I think he's just such a little [ __ ] fat, sweaty, horrible father crook that I don't know if I want to see. Now saying that Trunch Bowl is no walk in the park, but I would like to see Trunch like put into a situation where she could grab like grown women by the pigtails and like [ __ ] them over long distances.

[00:13:29]>> Like a like a Matilda to Trunch Bull's lesbian awakening.

[00:13:33]>> Yes. And Trunch just going around just munching box and then just like like do you know what I mean? Like going through cities and just creating havoc like do you know what I mean? Like just [ __ ] people down. opens a lesbian bar called the Chokey.

[00:13:47]>> Absolutely. And everyone is just [ __ ] you know, it's just scissoring everywhere. Trunch bowls like [ __ ] making like people who won't eat her out eat blood cake like the Do you know what I mean? Like >> I'll show you a blood cake.

[00:14:00]>> I'LL SHOW YOU. OH GOD. OH BROTHER. EASY, BROTHER.

[00:14:07]>> But have you seen Matilda the musical?

[00:14:10]>> No, I haven't.

[00:14:10]>> By Tim mentioned Boy Oh boy. Oh boy. Is that Tim Mitch did that?

[00:14:14]>> It's really good.

[00:14:16]>> That little [ __ ] Aussie [ __ ] is full of is full of surprises. He's a talented little man, isn't he?

[00:14:21]>> Yeah. Apparently very driven.

[00:14:23]>> Really like like early on in his career.

[00:14:26]Sort of like manically ambitious.

[00:14:28]>> Wow. How could you even imagine such a thing?

[00:14:32]>> I know. That'd be so weird.

[00:14:33]>> That' be weird, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

[00:14:35]Yeah. Yeah. Vo Supreme wouldn't have any idea what that's like. Like I think he won best newcomer at the Fringe and asked why he wasn't also nominated for best show.

[00:14:45]>> Do you know what? Who was I talking to?

[00:14:47]Uh was it McShane or whoever? But they were saying when you you had CMBB and McShane were like out for a something Asian. It's the most Asian little lunch.

[00:14:58]>> Yeah. So anyway, >> that was the hamburger restaurant we went to. I'm not just >> And they are like like McShane, CNB, and Ed. I mean, has there ever been more Asian white men in the history?

[00:15:07]>> Very Japanese influenced boys.

[00:15:09]>> They're so J. I mean, they are they're going Japanesey.

[00:15:12]>> CNB was speaking Japanese to the staff who did not speak Japanese.

[00:15:19]>> I mean, that's I mean, that's fantastic.

[00:15:21]I love that. But they said like they were anyway they Martin Supreme came up and they're like they're like yeah I guess it's just about like you know how this how what corrosive thing like this kind of maniacal ambition is and it ruins the relationships in your life and and all this and it just it really shows the detrimental effects of that and then you were sitting there just like that's not what I got from it at all.

[00:15:43]>> I got that he's great and he's me.

[00:15:47]>> Yeah, that's what the film's about.

[00:15:53]the boys talking about like the ills and the you know the the negative rel relational impacts of you know this kind of a mindset and just veto just just >> he beat the Japanese guy and went to see his MS have a baby.

[00:16:10]>> Yeah.

[00:16:10]>> Win-win.

[00:16:11]>> Yeah. Yeah. No, he was a [ __ ] good guy.

[00:16:13]>> Win win.

[00:16:14]>> Yeah. Win.

[00:16:15]>> That was the Japanese guy.

[00:16:16]>> That's right. Yeah. It was It was win.

[00:16:19]No.

[00:16:19]>> No. in the movie. I can't remember. But um so uh >> I've had this argument with lots of people. People think I'm so wrong about Marty Supreme, but it was just rocks.

[00:16:28]>> No, I rocks and it made me feel good.

[00:16:30]>> I get he's like a flawed character and and there's like detrimental parts to his ambition, but like >> somebody just giving it [ __ ] stacks to achieve their dreams is sick.

[00:16:43]>> Yes. So here's what I would say in my take on it. I probably, you know, lean more to your side of it. And I mean, I'm not a quite as uh brazenly, I would say, ambitious as you, but I still do have, like you'd see if you play sport with me or anything, I am competitive to a fault. Like, I really do want to [ __ ] you know, >> I really do want to win. And then and I look at Marty and that did get me [ __ ] fired up. I was like [ __ ] No.

[00:17:17]But I do see also like >> your problem is you're watching it and applying it only to sport and not your own dreams and career.

[00:17:24]>> Well, I still plan on becoming a professional footballer at some point.

[00:17:28]It seems like that's going to happen.

[00:17:30]>> What's crazy about Marty Supreme to me is a prof professional table tennis player was not a job at the time and that was still his goal.

[00:17:39]>> Yeah. And you know what I this is what this reminds me of my my very good friend John Edward Nolan who is a uh runs a ballroom dancing school now but he >> the J >> um yeah he's a a [ __ ] legend but John he talks like that and he's ginger and when we were younger like how's everybody going I'm um so when we were younger he dropped out of like uh college like in our first year like a few months into our first year to pursue ballroom dancing.

[00:18:09]full time. Now, at this time, there was no Dancing with the Stars in Ireland.

[00:18:14]There was no any observable route to like making it as a ballroom dancer. And he was just [ __ ] >> on this mission.

[00:18:24]>> Uh, and everyone's like, "What the [ __ ] is this mad [ __ ] doing?" And even when he was younger, like when he was in school in in primary school, everyone was used to be like calling him gay cuz he was uh dancing cuz he was a dancer.

[00:18:37]And then he asked the principal just a dancer.

[00:18:39]>> Uh >> a ballroom dancer, which to be fair to all those other kids.

[00:18:42]>> Yes.

[00:18:43]>> Is gay.

[00:18:44]>> Yeah. No, like they were Listen, >> they were on the money. But uh you know, these these were sharp children. But uh but anyway, so he went to the principal of the school >> and was like, "Let me dance in front of the whole school. I want to dance in front of what?"

[00:19:00]>> Yeah.

[00:19:01]>> He wanted he he he asked could he dance in front of the whole school. So, everyone's calling him gay for ballroom dancing >> and he goes, >> "Yeah, let me show Let me show what I can do.

[00:19:10]>> I'll show them gay."

[00:19:11]>> Yep. I'll show you [ __ ] gay. So, anyway, uh Johnny goes out [ __ ] and he's amazing dancer.

[00:19:17]>> In what context? Like an assembly just for him to dance.

[00:19:21]>> I don't know if it was an assembly already kind of that they had already got to together um to like I don't know talk about why Hurling's the most important thing ever, but it would have been something like that. And then they were like, "Right, we'll let Johnny come out and do his dance." And so Johnny like had his partner from whoever uh from his dance classes and came out and just [ __ ] danced the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of it. And all all the the kids were just like, "Oh, brother's got skills.

[00:19:49]He's a good little dancer." And he just showed >> people over.

[00:19:51]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:52]>> With the power of dance.

[00:19:54]>> With the power of dance. He messed them.

[00:19:56]>> You sure this wasn't a movie you watched, >> brother? He he won he won the whole school over with the power with the power of dance. and and their their cruelness and uh you know name calling melted in in the uh being faced with his beautiful talent and graceful movements and then they all kind of just went all right but also was just completely owning it. It's like cuz they were kind of like oh slag off your dance and stuff like yeah not only am I dancing I'll dance in front of [ __ ] all you and I don't give a [ __ ] how about suck on suck on these nuts. Here's a cha cha cha you little ignorant bastards.

[00:20:27]>> Do you think he listened to that song by men without hats? I don't know the song with men without hats, but he could have.

[00:20:32]>> You know the song Safety Dance?

[00:20:34]>> Uh, no.

[00:20:35]>> He can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind cuz friends don't dance and if they don't dance and no friends. Safety Dance.

[00:20:45]>> Now that you say it, it seems like he was he was Yeah, he was going by that playbook.

[00:20:51]>> Seems like he probably heard that song upwards of 100 times maybe. And that really had influenced his behavior and decisions at that time.

[00:20:56]>> Shout out to Man Without Hats. Um, Men Without Hats. Please God, by this time I guess this song is old. You've you've you've you've sourced some hats, but um, you know, uh, shout out to them and their influence on a young John hit wonder. There probably wasn't even a hit.

[00:21:11]>> Yeah, I'd imagine it's hard to see that going to number one, but >> I'm starting to see it more now.

[00:21:19]>> Where did Safety Dance peak on the Billboard top 100 charts?

[00:21:26]>> Kumlong. Kumong didn't know the answers.

[00:21:28]>> Kum did an all nighter at the weekend.

[00:21:29]The man is [ __ ] spent.

[00:21:32]>> I did try to text him the day after nothing.

[00:21:35]>> No, he's emotionally and spiritually spent.

[00:21:38]>> Three. Safety Dance got to number three on the Billboard top 100.

[00:21:42]>> [ __ ] It's going to go back to the [ __ ] charts after this app. I tell you that for a fact.

[00:21:46]>> I think the first time I heard that song was in Scrubs.

[00:21:49]>> Oh yeah.

[00:21:50]>> I think Turk sings it or something at one point. But Scubs is back and I've been meaning to watch it.

[00:21:56]>> Have you seen this?

[00:21:57]>> Um, I haven't seen it. I I haven't actually like seen any of it, but I I I was for no reason Wikipedia Zack Br the other day cuz something came up about his uh relationship with Florence Pew.

[00:22:10]Yeah. The movie Garden State. What's amazing is he made his directorial and screenplay debut Garden State in 2004. A complete critical smash hit. People loved it. The soundtrack is iconic. It's a very kind of um zeitgeisty film of that time that people loved. And then he never made a good film again. And every other kind of movie that he's directed since then has been hot dog [ __ ] Which is amazing when you see that like someone come out to traps and like whoa this guy is the [ __ ] second coming.

[00:22:42]Oh wait, actually I Whatever happened there, >> huh?

[00:22:45]>> Flaked it. I think people can just [ __ ] >> I was listening to an interview recently of like I think it was Bob Odenkirk in an interview was saying like movies are so hard to make.

[00:22:56]>> Yeah.

[00:22:56]>> That like you have you have to get everything right and also be quite lucky for a movie to come out brilliant.

[00:23:04]>> Yeah. And then you and that's why you look at little [ __ ] Marty Scorsesei that little [ __ ] Italian badger and you say this guy Got it right. So >> it right almost every single time. Like name a real name a really bad scores movie. Like you he actually I don't think now someone could come in and correct me. I don't think he's ever done a stinker. Like I think at worst it's been good. It's been Oh, that was good.

[00:23:36]>> At worst.

[00:23:37]>> Can we go through cuz I would know obviously like you're big hitters but like >> Okay. So we had a movie after tax.

[00:23:43]I was about to ask comelong to like get Martin Scarzi's filmography, but you just have that in your skull, don't you?

[00:23:48]>> I have most of it in my skull. So, um, >> but I'm thinking the stingers might not be in your skull is my word.

[00:23:54]>> No, no, that he has one stinger between um, Taxi Driver and Raging Bull. He had like this kind of like musical called New York New York >> which I think he still had Dairo Starin and that's a [ __ ] that's I think >> have Dairo in a musical.

[00:24:10]>> Yeah. Yeah. you're talking to me. Uh, so why me to be doing the lines from the other movie?

[00:24:18]>> Because that's the only way I can kind of get my idea across. Start spreading the news.

[00:24:24]>> Yeah. So, um, The Sun will come out tomorrow.

[00:24:30]No. Okay, we'll move on now. Uh, you know, you take a swing sometimes, sometimes it hits, sometimes it misses.

[00:24:36]Um but so that movie uh New York New York in between Taxi Driver which was 1976 and Rage and Bull which was 1980.

[00:24:45]So I think it's in between there he made New York New York which was a big fat hot stinker. But around this time, Scorsesei was [ __ ] off his note on cocaine. And there was apparently a time when some [ __ ] was trying to like change the edit of taxi driver that like Scorsesei was like coked up and was like had a like was sitting at a table with a gun at a table. I don't know if he called the Nero or what the story was, but he's like, "I'm going to blow my [ __ ] head off." Wow.

[00:25:14]>> If they try to edit this [ __ ] movie.

[00:25:16]>> Wow.

[00:25:16]>> I'm going to blow my head clean off.

[00:25:18]like he was just out of his like living mind and apparently Dairo bringing him the script for a raging bull. So like the which is of course about the boxer Jake Lamata. Um that's what kind of got him like to come clean and like Dairo is like we got to do this movie. You got to [ __ ] sort yourself out. Please don't blow your head off. You're really talented and you're a beautiful little Italian man. And and Scorsese was kind of like fair enough. Good point. Let's go make another couple classics there before I [ __ ] splatter the brains on the wall. Um, but anyway, so in terms of stinkers that New York, New York, but after that even he has some weird movies in the 80s. He did a movie called like After Hours, which is this like [ __ ] strange like odyssey of this guy through like 80s New York, which is kind of surreal and stuff and is not like held up with like Good Fellas and Raging Bull and stuff, but it's still a good movie.

[00:26:11]>> Yeah. It's just weird.

[00:26:12]>> It's just [ __ ] weird. Then he did like the passion of the not the passion of the Christ.

[00:26:16]>> Cool to like you know have these sort of mainstream hits almost that are like widely regarded as some of the greatest films ever and then just do something quite like esoteric and strange.

[00:26:26]>> Oh completely. And also throughout this time he was he would do like concert documentaries of like the Rolling Stones and he's done like a documentary about like Bob Dylan like that are like classics in the genre. Like the guy is just [ __ ] insanely talented and prolific. Then he did a movie stand William Defoe about Jesus where William Defoe was Jesus. Imagine that mad [ __ ] head being Jesus. He wouldn't he wouldn't have had many followers. I tell you that people would have been like you stand over there. They would have been like the He would have BEEN LIKE THAT'S A GOOD DEFO. That's a really good defo.

[00:27:00]Bless blessed are the peacemakers.

[00:27:05]That's a perfect defo. Wow. That was a really good defeat.

[00:27:12]That's who's ever listening. You got tune in to the [ __ ] video for VTO's Defo impression. That's one of the best I've seen. That's like Jim Kerry [ __ ] right there.

[00:27:22]>> He needs a replacement. So >> So uh but so anyway, so then um and I'm sorry for anyone who's like, you know, starting to self harm from me going through Martin Scorsese's filmography chronologically. There's people just talk about your [ __ ] and come. We're two young guys in North London. We're trendy. We're hip. We're in an artist studio.

[00:27:44]>> We're supposed to talk about film self-indulgently.

[00:27:47]>> That's right. That's what we're here >> completely.

[00:27:49]>> So then you got a [ __ ] um Yeah. So then um The Fo is Jesus. That's a good movie, but it's just not up there with the the the big [ __ ] classics. But Scorsesei is a big [ __ ] like a full cord with Catholicism, bro. He's like he's very on the shuff tip of uh you know thinking Catholicism. Not that Catholicism is the bees knees, but Scorsesei grew up super Catholic, so there's always like [ __ ] Catholic [ __ ] uh symbolism and uh semiotics and um Did semiotics make you sneeze there? Cuz you knew I knew the word semiotics and that upset you.

[00:28:26]>> What would that be? Semiiox is kind of like um it would be kind of like um symbolism that used in movies would be like kind of different uses of like iconography and different things to express kind of ideas from the same route as semaphore communicating through flags.

[00:28:44]>> Don't try to outsmart me right now.

[00:28:46]You're trying to you're trying to you're trying to outdo me >> have an intellectual conversation.

[00:28:51]>> I see I see your semi. I raise you semaphore and you bring up flags. What the [ __ ] brother? Well, cuz you were saying symbols and >> yeah, >> like maybe that's comes from the same thing.

[00:29:00]>> Um, no it doesn't. You're wrong and you made a fool of yourself.

[00:29:07]>> Stop. You sound so stupid to everyone right now. Um, okay. But Good Fellas 1990.

[00:29:14]Uh, then he did also he did Cape Fear after that with Dairo as a bad guy which is sick. He did The Age of Innocence with Daniel D Lewis after that, which is also [ __ ] class. They're all [ __ ] deadly these movies, but then Casino in 95, which is kind of similar to Good Fellas. I still think it's [ __ ] unbelievable, but Joe Peshi is just like another little [ __ ] lunatic, but there's a scene in it where he puts a guy's head in a [ __ ] like vice like that and squeezes it till your man's eyes eye pops out and it's like, brother, that's gnarly [ __ ] Also, Sharon Stone is very come inducing in that movie. tip of the cap to her. Uh she, you know, sent off probably upwards of a million wanks from her performance in that one. And uh Robert Dairo plays a Jew called Ace Ace Rothstein who's like a gambling expert.

[00:30:04]>> How does that make you feel below below deck in your pants?

[00:30:08]>> The idea of Robert Dairo playing in J.

[00:30:10]>> One of your own one of your Italian stallions turning to Judaism.

[00:30:17]>> How much?

[00:30:18]>> That's me. That's Robert Dairo as a Jew.

[00:30:19]That was pretty good.

[00:30:20]>> How much?

[00:30:21]>> Yeah. Um, so I I'm I'm already um kind of anticipating that people are really [ __ ] annoyed about me um badgering on about >> You know what's going to annoy you?

[00:30:32]>> What?

[00:30:32]>> Of all the films you've mentioned so far, >> Yeah.

[00:30:34]>> I've seen one of them.

[00:30:36]>> You've seen Good Fellas.

[00:30:37]>> Yeah.

[00:30:38]>> You wouldn't have se I mean, and as an Italian, I mean, it's just so deeply embarrassing that you've not given Dairo and Scorsesei their day in the sun. I've seen uh Killers of the Flower Moon.

[00:30:49]>> Killers of the Flower Moon is sick. Um so let's go now into the 2000s. He made some weird film at the end of the 90s with Nick Cage. Then he had Gangs New York, The Aviator, The Departed. Uh Shutter Island, >> seen that.

[00:31:04]>> Wolf of Wall Street.

[00:31:06]>> [ __ ] uh a movie called Silence. I think he did also a cartoon, something about [ __ ] Tintin or some [ __ ] I didn't watch the cartoon cuz it's [ __ ] for little that has been Maybe do give that a spin. That the adventure.

[00:31:18]Is it the adventures of Tintin? [ __ ] Google it. Comelong. You [ __ ] cocaine pulsing around your veins. [ __ ] He's up all night on Saturday night [ __ ] poking his boner into [ __ ] every little [ __ ] you know, influencer in the music industry. You know that he does that? He takes three Viagraas and just walks around the party pretending to bump into people and he's just needling his [ __ ] into the side of young singers. Did you know that? No, >> cuz I've read the article and you won't believe it. I've also written it. I've also done the journalism and written this [ __ ] article. Um, >> the Avengers 10.

[00:31:57]>> I'm so sick. I'm so sick when it comes to movies. It's unbelievable.

[00:32:02]>> Yes, >> it is. Like, >> you have a problem.

[00:32:07]>> I'm the [ __ ] I'm just such a I'm such a legend when it comes to films. Anyway, hello. Oh, this episode is sponsored by Surf Shark. And honestly, it's one of those services that once you start using it, you wonder why you didn't start sooner. We spend so much of our time, our lives online, working, shopping, banking, scrolling, the kids watching shows, booking holidays, all of it. And most of us are doing that on public Wi-Fi, home networks, cafe, cafe Wi-Fi, airport Wi-Fi. And not all of those are secure. That's where Surf Shark comes in. Surf Shark is a VPN, which stands for virtual private network. It stops trackers, helps block ads and malware, and basically puts a layer of security between you and the rest of the internet. Isn't that so nice? So whether you're booking from a cafe or just at home doing the food shop online, your data is protected. Mike, >> which one? Where >> one of the things?

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[00:34:40]>> God bless Surf Shark. Back to the episode.

[00:34:42]>> Nice.

[00:34:43]>> I do want to talk to you. You were at uh a play.

[00:34:46]>> Yes. You were at the [ __ ] Brian Cranston.

[00:34:49]>> Yeah.

[00:34:50]>> The Brian Cranston.

[00:34:51]>> An Arthur Miller play called All My Sons, >> right?

[00:34:54]>> And boy oh boy, I nearly cried.

[00:34:56]>> Did you?

[00:34:56]>> I got like I I think I would chalk it up as a cry.

[00:35:00]>> So Hamnick got three cries out you.

[00:35:02]Cranston couldn't even manage one little sob.

[00:35:05]>> I think like that was more about setting. I think maybe if I was like slightly closer to the front and the seats were very the seats like little theater like old west end theaters sort of >> squish us me inwards and my knees are very competitive.

[00:35:24]>> Are you trying to make out now that you're too m you're too broad and muscular for the west end >> were smaller when >> you're too strong for the west end.

[00:35:30]>> I think that might be >> Is that what you're trying to tell me right now? You're too yolked for the West End. They they have not put in the facilities for someone like I can sit there but I think it does affect your like sort of body language and it's like it's harder to cry when you're >> in the fetal position >> when you're like in a defensive you have to be open to tears >> brother fetal position is famously >> no but when you're experiencing art >> ah >> you need to be open to it whereas if you're sort of like >> you know what I mean like you're a bit you have your defense you have your guard up >> inherently and in the same like your emotional state affects your body language but Body language also affect your emotional state.

[00:36:07]>> [ __ ] That's Whoa. Okay, that's nice.

[00:36:10]With Jamali there as well?

[00:36:12]>> Yes.

[00:36:12]>> Now, Jamali would [ __ ] She'd cry if a [ __ ] pigeon flute too close to her.

[00:36:17]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:36:19]>> Her CPF's off the charts.

[00:36:20]>> Yeah.

[00:36:20]>> It's off and C CPPs cries per play.

[00:36:25]>> Sick.

[00:36:25]>> Off the charts.

[00:36:26]>> She's [ __ ] She's crying at the interval.

[00:36:27]>> I think she had four >> cuz they don't have the crisp. She likes She's [ __ ] >> There was no interval and that was tough.

[00:36:32]>> Yeah.

[00:36:33]>> 2 hours. She cried about that. That was sad to her.

[00:36:35]>> 2 hours 20. 2 hours 20 is a lot for no interval.

[00:36:38]>> That is a lot. But I do like the idea of I'm in 2 hours 20. I'm out.

[00:36:41]>> And then it's over.

[00:36:42]>> Yeah, I do love that because like two intervals and now I've been in this [ __ ] theater.

[00:36:46]>> Two intervals can suck my cont.

[00:36:49]>> So I've been in I've been in the theater for [ __ ] 4 hours now. How about you suck the farts out of my ass?

[00:36:54]>> You don't own me.

[00:36:56]>> Yeah, >> I'm allowed to go other places.

[00:36:58]>> I am not chatt.

[00:37:00]You do not own my being. This is not Barbados in the 1600s.

[00:37:05]>> It's slavery.

[00:37:06]>> Yes, >> it's slavery. Two intervals at the theater is slavery.

[00:37:10]>> Yeah, that reminds Did you see Nico Yearwood's uh bit about um having an Irish accent?

[00:37:17]>> Uh uh a some of it a little bit.

[00:37:21]>> Look up Nikico. He he hosts in Top Secret a lot. He's very funny.

[00:37:25]>> Very funny comedian from Barbados.

[00:37:27]>> From Barbados, but he has a bit about his accent sounding Irish and he goes through the history of it. And you know what? It's informative and it's funny and he's a good-looking guy who makes me go, "You're handsome sometimes." You ever do that >> with Nico?

[00:37:43]>> I tell you, Nico wouldn't fit in the West End, brother.

[00:37:45]>> They don't have the facilities for that kind of tone. That kind of >> There was a Mad Nico where somebody heckled him >> and then like wanted to fight him.

[00:37:54]>> Yeah.

[00:37:54]>> And the heckler took took his shirt off >> and Nico immediately took his shirt off.

[00:38:01]And that's that's even more Irish than the accent is to do that. That's the most Irish thing I've ever heard.

[00:38:07]>> But I just think that would be that's never on the table for me on stage as a comedian >> to take my shirt off.

[00:38:16]>> Almost more so if a heckler takes their shirt off.

[00:38:20]>> Yeah.

[00:38:20]>> Because like once they're shirtless, you win.

[00:38:26]Yeah.

[00:38:26]>> Like you have the high ground morally.

[00:38:28]Yeah, >> they're a lunatic trying to fight you with their shirt off. So just stay fully clothed and you come out on top.

[00:38:34]>> But Nico was just like bang.

[00:38:36]>> Yeah. Or you think you think you're a [ __ ] lunatic. You think you're a deranged lunatic. I have worse mental problems than you. There you go. But also if I look like like Nico, you know, he's kind of chiseled out in marble.

[00:38:50]He's got a a beautiful Barbadian physique. Barbadian.

[00:38:55]>> Beijian.

[00:38:56]>> Beijian, brother.

[00:38:56]>> Barbadian is an option. And they're sort of I think they're both on the table.

[00:38:59]>> I think Barbadian just sounds nice.

[00:39:01]>> Barbadian is nicer. Beijian it's almost like Wait, what country are you talking about?

[00:39:05]>> Yeah, cuz Beijian I feel could be England. Could be Beijian cuz there's it's a kind of a beige people.

[00:39:10]>> It sounds black and Asian, >> right? That is what it sounds like.

[00:39:14]Yeah.

[00:39:15]>> You know what I mean?

[00:39:15]>> It does. Yeah.

[00:39:16]>> But Barbadian is on the table.

[00:39:19]>> Come. How about you [ __ ] pipe up over there? You little druggie. You horny little [ __ ] druggie.

[00:39:27]I can't I can't tell you I can't believe when I found out this he takes three 100 mgram Viagraas and just bumps into people with his [ __ ] It's one of the most devious things I've heard of since the last thing I heard about com.

[00:39:39]>> Not great that you know the sort of the general um dosage of Viagra >> brother. I know it all. That's probably my second area of expertise after scores >> Martin Scorsesei films and then >> that's everybody everybody whose top area of expertise is Martin Scorsesei films their second area of expertise is the dosages of Viagra >> the doses of Viagra now I am famously a sealis man now and that's who they have not paid me to say that I just genuinely believe in their product and I just think it's just a way way better fit for your flute um you get less head rush you don't your head doesn't go tomato red cuz when you do Viagra and I don't like to [ __ ] on Viagra cuz it does a service for some old men whose flutes don't work and fair play you know what I mean it kept Hugh Hefner in in vaginal fluids for a good 30 years you know God bless but your head does go tomato red you do look very Protestant and you do get quite a headache now your flute you know what I mean you could [ __ ] poke a hole in the wall with your flute you know what I mean >> you could you could stab someone with your flute you could kill someone with your flute Oh wow.

[00:40:46]>> On Viagra like your your [ __ ] is like Arnold Schwatchmaker. It's like B. It's like the vagina. Look out. And it starts screaming at vaginas.

[00:40:59]You're not even wet. What's wrong?

[00:41:01]You're not aroused by an Austrian [ __ ] >> Does this make sense to you? Is this computing? He knows. He's nodding along.

[00:41:09]>> He knows exactly what's going on.

[00:41:11]>> I get it.

[00:41:11]>> Yeah. We should have a podcast like an after show podcast where Kumlong interviews his own flute.

[00:41:19]>> His own flute. And his flute's just like, "We poked so many people this weekend."

[00:41:23]>> His flute's K Williams.

[00:41:25]>> Yeah. We done poked so many people this weekend. And they didn't even know it was us. I was poking people cuz Kumlong was pushing me into all these young London musicians. And it felt good. M.

[00:41:40]>> It felt so good. Ain't that right, Kumlong? He calls his his master. He calls him Kumlong as well.

[00:41:49]>> It's cuz it's his name.

[00:41:50]>> I know. He's just like, and then sometimes it's just me and come and he treats me mean, but I like it. He starts beating on me and starts calling me his mother.

[00:42:05]>> His own cockus mom.

[00:42:08]>> This is what he's been doing. Oh man, >> this is what I'm trying to tell you about this guy. It's just been it's he's just he's gone so beyond the pale. Like this guy wouldn't even be allowed like he has to go somewhere deeper than hell.

[00:42:19]Come on. You know what I mean? They have to find a new level cuz this guy is just genuinely he's going to be seen.

[00:42:25]>> He'd be into it. Whatever they're doing in hell, he'd be into it.

[00:42:27]>> Yeah.

[00:42:28]>> He'd be getting his rocks off.

[00:42:29]>> Oh yeah. He'd like it too much. He would [ __ ] like it too much, brother. But um what was I I was surely talking about something something before this. What was I saying? We were talking about my trip to the theater.

[00:42:40]>> Yeah. The theater. So Jamali Jamali is just she's a blubber. She can't get her crisps at the break and you're But so tell me about Cranston. You're seeing Cranston.

[00:42:49]>> So it's a play called All My Sons by Arthur Miller which I never and I I sometimes try and do this and it's a very easy thing to try and do and you can just convince yourself that that's what you're aiming for from the jump.

[00:43:02]Don't research anything about the play before you go and see it.

[00:43:04]>> Yeah.

[00:43:04]>> Just go in open heart, open mind. If they're talking weird, then they're talking weird. If they're talking normal, then they're talking normal. If they're wearing weird clothes, they're wearing weird clothes. If they're wearing normal clothes, they're wearing normal clothes. Let's see what the theater has for me today.

[00:43:17]>> Right.

[00:43:17]>> You know what I mean?

[00:43:18]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:43:18]>> That type of vibe where sometimes you go, "Oh, it's going to be weird and old and about history."

[00:43:22]>> Yeah.

[00:43:23]>> But I think this is set in >> the 50s.

[00:43:26]>> Yeah.

[00:43:27]>> Sort of after the war.

[00:43:28]>> After the war.

[00:43:29]>> And uh heartbreaking writing. Cranston was unreal. Yeah.

[00:43:38]>> And it felt very not to be a real sort of London London. He didn't say that break into that at any point.

[00:43:43]>> No, he didn't accidentally become Walter, right?

[00:43:46]>> Although we had a couple pals we had a couple pals in the >> in the cast and went to say hello to them at Stage Door after. And like boy oh boy were there some freaks at stage door trying to get a whiff of Cranston.

[00:43:59]>> Really?

[00:44:00]>> Yeah. The security had to be like he doesn't come out between the mat and the evening show. he will not sign anything to do with Breaking Bad. He will only sign show related paraphernalia, but he only comes out after the evening show.

[00:44:11]>> And they were like really sniffing around. And then our pals are like smaller roles in it. They were like, "Did you like have you spoken to Cranston?" And it's just like >> right >> the security had to like shoe this guy away.

[00:44:21]>> Some wretched little Cranstonians just [ __ ] chomping at the bit.

[00:44:25]>> But just real like star [ __ ] like just sniffing around people who'd like just worked with Cran. So weird. They like they were just >> so weird. And I do feel bad like it must be hard to be that an actor with that much profile. I'm sure lots of them want to do theater work because it's like oh yeah like I've always wanted to play these roles and do this thing and now I have the platform to do it.

[00:44:46]>> Yeah.

[00:44:47]>> But then the stage door thing is [ __ ] >> Yeah.

[00:44:50]>> Weird and >> Yeah. Yeah. You've got >> And then you don't want to be one of those concerts getting bundled out into a cab, >> you know?

[00:44:57]>> Of course. Of course.

[00:44:58]>> Tricky. Gorgeous. And I this is what I was going to say like I don't want to be one of these real like London theatergoer things. The play felt very pertinent >> pertinent >> pertinent for today's >> they were talking about uh >> today's society.

[00:45:10]>> They were talking about Iran >> really anti-war and the play just sort of shows you how like war just absolutely tears the soul out of a country.

[00:45:18]>> Hey you know in do you know in war you know what the first casualty is?

[00:45:21]>> Truth >> brother. Sorry I had to drop that on you lads. I would say more than one person just ejaculated >> right there >> first casually war say that if you're at a dinner party or this is for everyone if you're at dinner party you're with a group of friends you think I don't think people take me serious intellectually just throw out the question hey guys you know what first casualty war is beat pregnant pause and then just go truth brothers and then just start dabbing up start [ __ ] maybe have a little dance ready but that's going to go on. Nice.

[00:45:56]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's nice about like So there was all these like this character had come back from war and like his whole platoon had died.

[00:46:03]>> Yeah.

[00:46:03]>> And he was like but it felt like they were doing it cuz they believed in something and then you get back here and that something doesn't exist. Like the idea of this country meaning something >> every it's all [ __ ] [ __ ] >> Yeah.

[00:46:15]>> We were sold the lion sent out there to [ __ ] die for nothing. Yeah.

[00:46:18]>> And it was like oh my god [ __ ] And then it's just like this is going to be >> And this didn't bring you to tears cuz you were so cuz you you're constru the tears at the end.

[00:46:26]>> You were >> should like I don't know. Should we avoid spoilers for a like, you know, really old Arthur Miller play?

[00:46:32]>> No. [ __ ] these people. Like >> basically Bran Cranston plays this guy called Joe and he's old and he had two sons. Uh, one of them came back from the war, one of them is >> missing but >> okay >> [ __ ] >> Yeah. But the mom >> like cannot ex No.

[00:46:56]>> Okay.

[00:46:56]>> Cannot accept that he's dead. It's he's been missing for three and a half years.

[00:47:01]>> Yes.

[00:47:02]>> And uh so I guess it's probably in the late 40s is when this takes place. Um unless it's a different war and I'm wrong about it.

[00:47:10]>> 1947. There we go. Nice.

[00:47:12]>> So been missing for three and a half years. The brother and the dad are like look you sort of just have to go along with this. M >> the mom's sort of delusion >> that the other brother's going to come back like still has all his clothes like still talks about him.

[00:47:27]>> But the brother that came back he's been writing letters to and being quite flirtatious with his dead brother's girl.

[00:47:36]>> The Hunter Biden. He's doing a classic Hunty B.

[00:47:40]>> What did Hunty be do?

[00:47:41]>> Hunty B absolutely bald the living life out of his uh brother's uh his dead brother's wife.

[00:47:47]>> Well, that would be a similar thing to this. Yeah.

[00:47:49]>> I mean, he rattled her sideways >> famously.

[00:47:52]>> Similar to this, but they sort of get are getting together and the the girls there and they're they're trying to tell the mom that they're going to get married cuz they love each other, but the mom is like, "No, cuz if you get married, blah blah blah blah blah."

[00:48:06]>> Do you think Hunter Biden probably saw this play and was just that gave him the idea, oh, I could ball my brother's my dead brother's wife >> potentially. How did the other Biden die? H >> how did the other war? Wow.

[00:48:18]>> And Hunter Biden was also in that war.

[00:48:20]>> Bo Biden, war war hero. And Joe's like, "That's my son, you know." And then >> is his name Bo Biden?

[00:48:28]>> Bo Biden.

[00:48:29]>> Yeah. Big Bo Biden. Next thing [ __ ] Rotten [ __ ] um crackhead Hunter is [ __ ] lying on top of his Mrs. [ __ ] You know what I mean? And you know, because of the amount of drugs he's doing, it's taking him ages to come. And you know, but Bo is probably a much more kind of uh tender lover. And then you've got [ __ ] cracked up [ __ ] hunter on top of you. That stinks.

[00:48:50]>> That does stink.

[00:48:51]>> That stinks to high.

[00:48:52]>> But the brother is a nice guy and is sort of >> he loves this.

[00:48:56]>> He has inner conflict.

[00:48:58]>> He loves this widow.

[00:48:59]>> Absolutely.

[00:49:00]>> He wouldn't be the first person to love a widow. Very Kumlongian character. Is he a Kongian character?

[00:49:04]>> I would say a Kumlongian character.

[00:49:06]>> Is there any point in the play where he takes 300 mgram biagas and starts trying to poke it into the other characters?

[00:49:11]>> Not on stage, but it was sort of implied, >> right?

[00:49:18]Um, by the way, so it was played by a friend of mine, Zach, who was the understudy. Yes. To Papa and it was like sick to like We didn't know he was bless you come along.

[00:49:26]>> Yeah.

[00:49:26]>> We didn't know he was going to be >> Is Zach a friend of yours now or have you just met Zach?

[00:49:30]>> Went to Guild Hall with him. Like went to, you know, he was in the acting course. I was in the music course.

[00:49:36]>> I've never heard you mention Zach. So I don't know if he's really a friend, is he? You just kind of know Zach. Say acquaintance. My acquaintance Zach. This is a weird thing for me to call you on, but I've decided I want to.

[00:49:48]>> Like I just sort of think people who I would like if I saw them in the street go, "Oh, hello. That would be my friend.

[00:49:52]>> That's your friend." Yeah.

[00:49:53]>> Yeah. It's mad. You have a mad You have a mad view of things. But >> it's kind of like It just feels really >> It would be weird to say weird to say my acquaintance.

[00:50:01]>> But it would be more truthful. That's what I'm saying. And of course, the first casualty of a play about war is >> truth. TRUTH.

[00:50:09]>> YEAH.

[00:50:10]That's what you need actually a silent like you barely perceptible truth and everyone is [ __ ] ju okay so anyway so the okay and continue on then >> the lady >> who comes who who's the widow >> oh >> uh her dad was in business with Cranston's character >> but he's now in prison because they sold faulty cylinders for planes >> to the military >> and 21 members of the US military like air force died because these planes crashed and they didn't tell him there were these like crash.

[00:50:46]>> This is very Danny DeVito in Matilda.

[00:50:48]>> He sold them lemons.

[00:50:49]>> He sold him lemons.

[00:50:50]>> [ __ ] It all comes around. It always comes back to Matilda.

[00:50:53]>> Cranston was in prison for a bit but was acquitted because it was like he wasn't at the factory that day.

[00:50:58]>> Why was Cranston in prison? Was he >> he was also they ran this factory together.

[00:51:02]>> Oh, so he was also selling lemons.

[00:51:04]>> But then Franson was like I wasn't at the I had the flu that day. I wasn't at the factory that day.

[00:51:08]>> Right. And then it gradually comes out over the course of the play that the um the the uh the girl's brother, the widow's brother comes back and he's now a lawyer and he's ready to like rip everybody straight. Like he hasn't spoken to him [ __ ] He like he hasn't spoken to his dad in years, but then he went to see him and like finally believed that his dad wasn't the one who sold these lemons and Cranson's character had stitched him up. So he comes back to read the riot act and be like you should [ __ ] take yourself off the prison you're [ __ ] you cranston but then he wants not yeah big big time that big time that >> and um so they do all that and then it gradually comes out that it was Cranston's fault >> that these cylinders went out >> and but he was like it was in the papers that him and the other guy who ran the factory were convicted.

[00:52:00]>> Yeah. basically for like murder by negligence of these 21 pilots, >> which I don't know if that's why 21 Pilots the band are called 21 Pilots.

[00:52:10]>> Well, obviously it is.

[00:52:12]>> Do you think so?

[00:52:12]>> Yes, I know. So, >> after the Arthur Miller play, All My Sons?

[00:52:17]>> Yes.

[00:52:17]>> And so, there's this whole thing of like is like cuz he's still just missing the son that died at war, but it's like and then it's like I used to have two sons, now I have one son, but then the play is called All My Sons. So the whole way through you're like what the [ __ ] Like you know is he going to come back? Like that would be the craziest thing to like you know throw the kid amongst back like crazy.

[00:52:37]>> He's back and he's gay now. I'm back.

[00:52:40]>> That would be big.

[00:52:41]>> You can [ __ ] I hate [ __ ] I'm back and I've taken more Viagraas than is recommended from the doctor.

[00:52:52]Hey daddy. And he's like weirdly like trying to come on to his own father and people like I wish you were dead.

[00:52:58]And that's the end of the I would love that if that was the end of the play.

[00:53:01]And then like Kumlong's [ __ ] comes in like why what y'all doing? Y'all want to come party?

[00:53:08]>> And Kumlong's [ __ ] is a character in the play >> sign outside the theater in this evening's performance. Comes [ __ ] will be played by Cat Williams.

[00:53:17]>> Yeah, we have to do we do have to make like a Frost Nixon type. I don't know if you've ever seen the David Frost interviewing Richard Nixon, but it's like Kumlong's and Kumlong's [ __ ] like a kind of a serious head-to-head interview between the two of them. Kind of like a debate kind of thing. I think we could make a theatrical version of this. Maybe we could have it as a segment on our live show.

[00:53:38]>> I think that's a good idea.

[00:53:39]>> And if we could get Cat Williams to come and play >> like maybe in the interval of our Waiting for God.

[00:53:45]>> Yeah, >> we could have Kaml Long interviewing his own car.

[00:53:48]>> Klong interviewing his own car. That would be so sick if we could get Cat Williams to play Kumlong's [ __ ] but I think honestly we could.

[00:53:54]>> He's a listener, so I think >> he does listen. And I do think this would be the kind of juicy role that he's after playing.

[00:54:00]>> Um, okay. So, >> so it's all we're in the chaos moment of like what the [ __ ] going to happen?

[00:54:06]This guy wants to fight this guy, >> but they're and they want to get married, but they can't get married because >> like the mom is like but he's coming back and they're like, "No." And then at the end, so two things happen at the end. One, it becomes clear that uh like the the brother that's come back, the girl, the widow's brother that comes back um is like, "God, like you you do look good, Joe Cranston's character." And the mom is like, "Oh, sure. He hasn't been sick for 15 years." And he's like, >> "Whoa, >> I thought you were off with the flu when the day you weren't at the factory." you dirty dog.

[00:54:46]>> And and Cranston was like, "Oh, apart from the day with the flu." And then everybody's like, "Oh, [ __ ] Oh, [ __ ] >> What the [ __ ] >> Oh, fuck." And then it becomes very clear that like it was Cranston that sent away these dud cylinders because he wanted to protect his business for his son. He was like, "I wanted to give you something like if I get arrested and the business goes bust like or like or like, you know, we like we never work again."

[00:55:07]Blah blah blah blah. And then um to prove that the son's dead, the only way she can get the the widow can get the mom to accept that the son's dead and then the widow can then marry the brother is she gives her a letter that she got the day the son the son went missing and >> and it said he's he's gay.

[00:55:29]>> No. Oh, it said that the um he'd read the news that his dad had been arrested and convicted of selling the dodgy stuff that made all the planes crash and he said, "I'm I'm about to go on a mission in a couple minutes if I don't come back." Like, >> I'm dead.

[00:55:48]>> Oh, I'm I'm >> like he killed himself because he was so ashamed of his dad killing 21 other US military people.

[00:55:56]>> And so, give me give me straight. He's there's nothing about being >> nothing about him being again offstage implied. Yes, >> I sort of got that from it, but that's only cuz I'm like a keen theatergoer.

[00:56:05]>> I'm on a mission to suck as many anime [ __ ] as I can.

[00:56:10]>> And then uh Cranston reads the letter being like >> [ __ ] Cuz the whole thing is like they might as well have been your sons, the 21 >> Yeah.

[00:56:18]>> pilots that you [ __ ] killed. And then he was like they were all my sons. All my sons. And then >> [ __ ] And then he goes upstairs and shoots himself in the head. Sick.

[00:56:28]>> It's a ve like it's a sick play.

[00:56:30]>> That's [ __ ] nice.

[00:56:31]>> It's a sick play.

[00:56:31]>> And he blows his [ __ ] >> Yeah. And he falls down. There's like a balcony and then he like falls down. But then that was like a different actor.

[00:56:37]And then Cranston's like looking over his own dead body like ashamed of his whole life.

[00:56:41]>> And do people like start like kicking at him and stuff and like Yeah, you [ __ ] >> No, cuz they it's still their dad and they still sort of love him and it's like >> Yeah.

[00:56:52]>> Yeah. That's a moral quandry. It's this sort of it's this capitalism amongst war and profit at all costs and and it's [ __ ] it's a great play.

[00:57:02]>> Let me capitalism bad. War bad.

[00:57:05]>> Capitalism bad. War bad.

[00:57:07]>> Gay good.

[00:57:09]>> Yeah. Yeah. Gay good. Coming good.

[00:57:12]>> Uh widow widow [ __ ] good.

[00:57:14]>> Widow [ __ ] good.

[00:57:15]>> Capitalism bad. War bad. Widow [ __ ] good is the moral of my good [ __ ] real. You have to imagine now and I I can't speak for myself. All my brothers tragically are alive, but like you have to imagine that like the the the wrongness of just like shagging the life out of your dead brother's misses. Like of course bad you shouldn't but like you have to imagine that has got to be like so decent away. Like come on relate to this. Like I know but like that's so Oh god, I can't believe it.

[00:57:50]You're you're Wasn't it quite like normal at a certain point in history that it was like >> yeah but >> your brother's the other guy like you're just it makes sense you should marry her now that he's dead.

[00:58:01]>> Um back in like royal lines like of course uh Henry VII married Katherine of Aragon who had been married to his older brother >> um Arthur I believe um yes in like royal lines and [ __ ] like that to like preserve connections between powerful families. Yeah, but not in just like normal circumstances. Don't be [ __ ] you know, slipping, you know, slipping the pink into your [ __ ] brother's misses. Uh, no. Come on.

[00:58:29]>> Yeah, >> but it would be some crack cuz you're just like, this is so wrong.

[00:58:34]>> That would be so bad and wrong.

[00:58:36]>> He's dead and he's never coming back.

[00:58:38]Like, oh my god, I'm never going to see my brother again. But you've got nice boobies. And then you just like [ __ ] bust.

[00:58:46]>> Okay.

[00:58:47]>> You know what I mean?

[00:58:49]What's good is given your lifestyle and your brothers's lifestyle, you're definitely going to be the first to die >> of all your brothers, >> I think. Yeah. Odds on. But you see right now though, who's healthier than me right now?

[00:59:02]>> So many people >> on Earth. Think about it.

[00:59:05]>> So many people.

[00:59:06]>> Brother, brother, brother. Use your noggin. Use that big big [ __ ] television head. Think about this, right? Big wide screen TV head. Have maybe give it a use. Uh, think about this. Mike's off the booze. Mike's eating I [ __ ] that I >> Mike's on MDMA.

[00:59:22]>> Mike is on MDMMA. That is true. And let's you know that's its own that's its own um quandry. And who's has it been proven MDMA is bad? Cuz alcohol makes you fat fat, smelly, and depressed and anxious. Whereas MDMA kind of makes you happy >> and then really sad.

[00:59:40]>> Makes you good fun and then really sad.

[00:59:42]Um, yeah. I will say when I was on MDMA without booze, it was a bit [ __ ] insane cuz like you're just on it and you're not dancing and you're just at pub talking and it's just kind of like >> Yeah, I was there.

[00:59:54]>> Yeah, it was a bit wild. I was just kind of like what the >> talking so happily.

[00:59:59]>> I was happy. I was a happy guy, but I didn't have that insane love buzz. I wasn't like I wasn't I didn't feel the invincibility that you can feel from like ecstasy or MDMA for whatever reason. But I think I just didn't take enough of it cuz I wasn't drinking. So I was like quite lucid cuz if I was boozing, I'd just be like, you know, you know, there'd be a gluttony to my MDMA intake. I'd be like, and then next thing I'd be trying to [ __ ] stick my [ __ ] in one of the pool hole, you know, the holes. Or I'd be trying to teabag the the pool hole. Um um the pool hole. Is that what you call >> pool? Pocket pocket. Finger in the pockets, brother. That's not bad. That's not a bad time. Just like [ __ ] to the to the pool pocket. You know what I mean? Giving it a little [ __ ] How you getting on?

[01:00:45]>> Why would you do that?

[01:00:46]>> Imagine you made a pool pocket. Come >> then. Who would then who would be the real king?

[01:00:50]>> What would come out?

[01:00:51]>> White ball.

[01:00:51]>> White ball, BROTHER.

[01:00:54]>> NICE. UM, >> you need to stop bringing the microphone closer to your your mouth when you laugh.

[01:00:59]>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. I must bring >> We spoke about that two years ago. I know.

[01:01:03]>> And you'd learned you'd gotten so good at going, >> right? But you literally went You nearly at that. That was crazy.

[01:01:10]>> But this is this is this is a sober life, brother. You know what I mean?

[01:01:13]It's just I I don't want to I don't want to run away from stuff. I want to, you know, experience things. Do you know what I'm Do you know what I'm saying?

[01:01:21]Cuz I have no idea what I'm saying.

[01:01:24]>> But I did the Yeah. So I did MD the night of Union Chapel.

[01:01:28]>> How was the comedown the next day?

[01:01:30]>> You know what? It was It wasn't that bad. It was actually quite >> You probably set aside a bit of a day, too.

[01:01:35]>> I set aside a day. And you know what? I felt >> I love a set aside day.

[01:01:39]>> Um, a set aside day is so nice when you just have a day where it's just like all I have to do today is not >> eat bad.

[01:01:46]>> Yeah.

[01:01:47]>> And watch TV.

[01:01:48]>> Watch TV and not get hit by a bus. All I have to do is just stay alive today.

[01:01:52]That's my only mission. And that's achievable. You know what I mean? So, uh, I had that and then the next day I got hit with this like [ __ ] gratitude like this kind of weird cuz the Union Chapel show I was just like and nothing after the show kind of to me matched the and this is often the case but just the vibe that was in the venue which was like I had so many friends there. There was such a love buzz. you brought a cake um and came out and the whole place sang me happy birthday and I just felt like the luckiest little boy in North London and uh I was just genuinely like >> somebody was quite rude to me about the cake in the shop cuz I got it from a shop nearby Union Chapel and I was like walking up to the hill was like, "Oh, you going to Mike's show?" And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." And they were like, "Big dinner."

[01:02:46]>> They took a they they took a they took a shot at you in the shop.

[01:02:48]>> Little jab. little jab as if I was having birthday cake for dinner.

[01:02:53]>> Cuz calling you fat.

[01:02:54]>> Yeah.

[01:02:55]>> No, he's Little did I know, you sleep for dinner, brother.

[01:02:59]>> You [ __ ] You take a long nap for dinner.

[01:03:02]>> No, sleep.

[01:03:04]>> Yeah.

[01:03:04]>> Till dinner.

[01:03:07]>> So, I [ __ ] Anyway, the next day I got filled with this very kind of flowery level of gratitude. like I felt like kind of um I don't know some sort of a a female influencer of a sort you know that's like talks about like you know really experiencing like kind of this universal love for everyone. I just like I fel I was just so it was disgusting how grateful I was. It was like really kind of >> puke inducing gratitude. And I wrote I wrote an Instagram very sincere Instagram post.

[01:03:42]>> An Adam Rowesque Instagram post.

[01:03:43]>> An Adam Rowesque Instagram post where >> just a lad from Liverpool.

[01:03:47]>> Yeah. And I I just And I was like telling I loved everyone and thanking every even said in the post I was like this does read like I'm currently on MDMA. Um but I'm not. I was just brother I was high on high on gratefulness to the Lord. It was pretty sick. Um, so I was buzzing. I don't know if I will do drugs uh sober again. Um, doing drugs sober. Have you ever done drugs? I guess once you do the drugs, you're not sober anymore, but >> as in without boozing.

[01:04:18]>> Yeah, without boozing. I do say that, but then, you know, a boy's got to have some fun. You know what I mean?

[01:04:25]>> Yeah. Um, I do, but then I do take anti-depressants and I do take my my seialis for my willies. So, I guess I'm not drugless, you know what I mean?

[01:04:34]>> You're not a clean athlete.

[01:04:35]>> No. No [ __ ] way. I'm [ __ ] riding.

[01:04:38]Um, but it was [ __ ] It was [ __ ] sick. I did I don't We'll talk about this on the [ __ ] um on the Patreon.

[01:04:48]>> We've done about an hour and 10 if I not >> How much have we done?

[01:04:52]>> An hour and 10.

[01:04:53]>> Right. I have [ __ ] to talk to you about.

[01:04:55]I lost my laptop. I lo I went, brother, I went on a biblical spree of of mistakes. Like >> this is good.

[01:05:04]>> I'm talking this is good.

[01:05:05]>> I'm talking this is one of >> I'm sorry to hear that.

[01:05:08]>> I'm talking good.

[01:05:10]>> This is like world class like history making level of wrong after wrong after wrong. I was just on fire. Um I I we'll talk about it on the podcast, but this is honestly and I know you're thinking people on the public. Okay. So what you're just going to go through Martin Scorsese's list of films for the public episode >> and then and then sort of recount a sad play.

[01:05:34]>> Yeah. And then just go through recount the sad play for and that's what you're going to do on the public. And then you're going to Yeah. Guess what?

[01:05:41]>> The good stuff on a [ __ ] Patreon. £3 a month. It's [ __ ] all money. We built a studio for you.

[01:05:48]>> For you, >> for you, >> you >> you >> you [ __ ] >> send us gifts and sign up to the Patreon.

[01:05:53]>> Sign up to the Patreon to hear my tales of Whoa.

[01:05:57]>> Whoa.

[01:05:57]>> I'm in Whoa.

[01:06:00]I'm in Australia also all April. I'm in Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, Sydney.

[01:06:06]There's tickets on my website, mikecomdy.com. Get the tickets.

[01:06:09]>> I'm in Ireland.

[01:06:10]>> [ __ ] around.

[01:06:11]>> Oh, April.

[01:06:12]>> Yeah.

[01:06:13]>> Limmerick, get your [ __ ] together.

[01:06:14]What's going on?

[01:06:15]>> I'm disappointed.

[01:06:16]>> Hey, what are you trying to do? Make him look silly >> and grumpy?

[01:06:19]>> Yeah, he's grumpy. He's contankerous.

[01:06:22]He's disgruntled.

[01:06:23]>> Come on. What the [ __ ] >> You're a rugby county. That's He loves that proy [ __ ] Go to the show.

[01:06:32]>> Don't patreon.com/paring for more content. Bye. Nice. [ __ ] gosh.