Pop My P (with Ali Macofsky) | Sagdaddy Da Pod with Brendan Sagalow Podcast

[00:00:03][music] The rap Jack Black and Sag Daddy. I'm back at it with a fantastic podcast [music and singing] for your asses.

[00:00:09]Yapping in a trap like a rescue cat and the rescued up like they're waiting on the [music] Batman. You tuned into [singing] the dude who threw booze back, blacked out, woke up drunk, covered in bruises. It's Sag [music and singing] Daddy the pod. An odd fellow, the great white chubby. I'm becoming a marshmallow. It's Sag Daddy the pods who sit back and relax cuz like a broken arm, [music] I got a cast now. It's [singing] sad. Daddy the pod. You made a good choice, so enjoy. Don't be annoyed.

[00:00:32]Now here's my dumb voice.

[00:00:33]>> No, you'd say the cat would like you.

[00:00:34]Oh, the cat would like. Um, I don't think he would until he got to know you.

[00:00:39]>> I don't think it would take him long is what I'm saying.

[00:00:41]>> Really?

[00:00:41]>> I don't think it would take him long.

[00:00:43]Maybe some people it would take him a long time.

[00:00:45]>> Yeah, >> I have a friend who I went over to her place for the first time and she goes, "My cat never does this." And the cat was just on me.

[00:00:52]>> I'm telling you, OJ is his name, >> of course.

[00:00:55]>> Oreo James Sagaloo. Uh he's you know Nicole's been here coming here for 102 three episodes at this point. What what are we atund?

[00:01:10]>> He'll he'll go he'll he'll run. He >> Okay. No shade to Nicole whatsoever.

[00:01:15]>> But she doesn't have a vibe that you have.

[00:01:17]>> But I'm different. I'm a different woman. Not [laughter] all chicks are the same.

[00:01:21]>> That's so true. Not all comedians.

[00:01:23]>> Yeah.

[00:01:24]>> I like the name comedian. Yeah, that's going to be my first born.

[00:01:29]>> It kind of feels like Batgirl.

[00:01:31]>> You know how Amy Schumer was like, "I had no idea that my kid's name was genitalia."

[00:01:36]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:01:37]>> That's going to be I'm going to be like, um, my child's first name is Comedi.

[00:01:42]Comedy.

[00:01:42]>> Comedi. That's >> Comedianne.

[00:01:45]>> Comedianne. Yeah.

[00:01:47]>> Oh, that is a great name.

[00:01:48]>> An Makovski.

[00:01:50]>> That's a great name.

[00:01:51]>> We're keeping my last name. Who else?

[00:01:52]>> What's your middle name? Catherine.

[00:01:55][snorts] >> Isn't that gorgeous?

[00:01:59]>> Glamorous.

[00:01:59]>> Say the whole name out loud.

[00:02:00]>> Allison. Catherine Macakovski.

[00:02:03]>> It's It is very waspy. Yeah.

[00:02:06]>> Yes. And if you shorten it all down, we got Alycat.

[00:02:10]>> Alleycat.

[00:02:11]>> Alicat Mac.

[00:02:12]>> That's really good.

[00:02:13]>> Alleycat Meow Meow Meow.

[00:02:15]>> Alleycat Mac is really good.

[00:02:16]>> Would you like my social security number as well?

[00:02:19]>> Yes.

[00:02:19]>> Full name? 124527899.

[00:02:24]>> Oh, >> I'm very good at guess, not guessing what the actual number is, but just kind of remembering how the number goes, you know, da da da da da da da da da da da.

[00:02:35]I know how a social security number should sound.

[00:02:37]>> You know what I'm thinking? And I want this to be a I'm not like trying to run a bit by you, but I want this to be a bit. And I have no idea how to make it funny, but >> I love this. Let's go.

[00:02:48]>> Someone can.

[00:02:49]>> Let's go. But let's remind these people that we are standup comedians.

[00:02:52]>> I think being an adult is just remembering a a variety of numbers, >> okay?

[00:02:58]>> Like I have to at this point in my life, I have to know my own social security number, >> right?

[00:03:04]>> I have to know my driver's license number cuz of the parking in LA. I always have to put in my driver's license number.

[00:03:12]>> Yeah.

[00:03:13]>> Um and then other numbers.

[00:03:16]>> So just two and then much more. There's But then it's like, >> "How old are you?"

[00:03:20]>> 30.

[00:03:20]>> See, see how long that took? Well, okay.

[00:03:23]Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah, I'm 30.

[00:03:26]>> I asked I met a I met a young man last night. Not sexual.

[00:03:30]>> Yes. Damn you. So, you are Okay. Not sexual.

[00:03:33]>> Not sexual. It could have been, but it was >> You think so? You felt it?

[00:03:36]>> No, but I'm like, we were walking to the train together and I'm like, surely I'm a beautiful woman. Not on the I was wearing makeup. I'm like, surely I'm a beautiful woman. And >> his name was Shirley.

[00:03:47]>> Shirley. Shirley, let me introduce you to comedianne.

[00:03:52]>> Yeah. [laughter] >> Um, surely I'm a beautiful woman and we're walking to the train together alone.

[00:03:59]>> Uhhuh.

[00:04:00]>> At midnight.

[00:04:01]>> Well, I'll tell you what. I'm sure that was going through his head. Like, do I make a move? Were you guys flirting that night?

[00:04:06]>> Uh, I don't know. Anything like like having a like we're flirting right now.

[00:04:11]>> Oh, okay. Like I'm delusional. So just like any conversation with eye contact, I'm like they want me.

[00:04:17]>> Sure. I don't feel any flirtation right now. But uh >> No, feeling wise, no. But if I were to like tell someone, I'd be like, "Yeah, Brendan was all over me."

[00:04:26]>> Well, that would be wrong and uh and not and not true at all.

[00:04:30]>> Watch the pod back. [snorts] >> Imagine I'm like a psycho. I'm like, "When did this happen?" I'M LIKE, >> "NO, I AM DELUSIONAL." And so I think just like having a good conversation, I'm like they want me bad.

[00:04:43]>> Oh, you think? Yeah. So it's more about you really.

[00:04:45]>> Yeah. It's just like my mindset. I'm trying to have a positive mindset.

[00:04:49]>> Totally. I >> I'd rather choose to see it as like this person loves me >> than like, oh, there was nothing there.

[00:04:57]>> Yeah.

[00:04:59]I get that. I mean, and maybe it's because you're going through a little bit of a breakupy kind of thing, too.

[00:05:04]Cuz where I'm at is I only have eyes for one lady and that's my freaking wife, >> of course.

[00:05:09]>> And uh you know, but but that's because I'm happy, I guess.

[00:05:14]>> So you going through a breakup, >> you know, there's probably you're searching for the happiness, >> but I think even from anywhere, even in the relationship, I would be like, everyone's in love with me.

[00:05:26]>> Interesting. I think I felt that way in high school. I think >> Okay. So you're saying stunted? So, you're saying I'm stunted and there's something fundamentally wrong with me?

[00:05:36]>> I I am saying that you have some sort of arrested development, but I don't think there's anything wrong with you.

[00:05:40]>> I don't Yeah.

[00:05:41]>> Damn. So, did you guys when you were walking, was there a Well, I guess now >> Well, we were just chatting. It was friendly, but I was like >> comedian.

[00:05:49]>> No, >> just a guy.

[00:05:51]>> Yeah, it was a friend's friend. A friend came to my show. We all hung out after.

[00:05:56]He brought his friend. And so when we were walking to the train, I'm like, "Maybe something will h It's New York City. Anything."

[00:06:02]>> It is New York City. Anything can happen here.

[00:06:04]>> And so we were I was going downtown, he was going uptown, but we were on the same line.

[00:06:09]>> Ships in the night.

[00:06:10]>> I said, "Okay, bye."

[00:06:12]>> Yeah. And you went, "Yes." And then we just That's the okay by as in, "Is there anything else you'd like to do or say to me?"

[00:06:19]>> Yeah. You go, "Okay, bye." Well, you've been coming to New York a whole ton lately, which is great. It's great seeing you.

[00:06:24]>> Yeah. add so much >> cuz I never get to go out to Los Angeles.

[00:06:28]>> Los Angeles.

[00:06:29]>> Yeah. What do you like better? Are you Are you Are you Do you have eyes for New York? Speaking of eyes for things.

[00:06:34]>> Oh my god. New York loves me. New York does love you.

[00:06:37]>> New York wants me back.

[00:06:38]>> Every time I see you, people are You're holding cord at a table.

[00:06:41]>> I am. I feel good here. [laughter] >> And I think if I lived here, that wouldn't be the case. Yeah, >> cuz I'd be old news >> for sure.

[00:06:50]>> If people could see me all the time, they'd be sick. You're already kind of like not old news.

[00:06:55]>> That's why I'm leaving tomorrow.

[00:06:56]>> You're not new news. [laughter] >> No, that's why I'm getting out of town tomorrow.

[00:07:00]>> You're the You're the inquirer.

[00:07:02]>> But there's something fun about visiting and just like gathering the troops, sending out mass texts saying, "Get over here."

[00:07:10]>> Do you when you uh do you book your shows, like do you book shows out or you just come to New York and you're like, "Whatever." So this So I was in New York City a couple weeks ago and I had such a good time that I just immediately rebooked another trip.

[00:07:27]>> Really?

[00:07:27]>> Yeah. Cuz I was like, I got to get back there.

[00:07:30]>> It is so nice.

[00:07:31]>> So it was kind of It was Yeah, it is.

[00:07:33]And I lost custody of the dog, so I got no responsibilities.

[00:07:36]>> So you guys had a dog together?

[00:07:38]>> We had a dog together.

[00:07:39]>> How long were you with this? Uh >> 5 years.

[00:07:41]>> 5 years.

[00:07:42]>> 5 years.

[00:07:42]>> Damn. And if you guys can't make it, who can?

[00:07:44]>> Who can? I mean, not even Christina and Tom.

[00:07:48]>> Oh god. Yeah.

[00:07:49]>> I feel like maybe maybe we kind of inspired them.

[00:07:52]>> Yeah. Maybe they saw you guys and they were like, "You know what?

[00:07:55]>> We're not trapped in this."

[00:07:57]>> No, >> we only have >> we've got we've got more life left to live.

[00:08:00]>> What do you think is is harder for them to uh have to have to talk about the kids or the podcast?

[00:08:06]>> I think the podcast. I think the kids Everyone's Everyone's gone through a divorce with kids. Not everyone has gone through divorce with podcasts. slow news day. I'll I'll tell you that. I mean, who in what world?

[00:08:18]>> The fact that it's coming across my desk. It's like there's no bombs anywhere. [laughter] There's no wars anywhere.

[00:08:25]>> Didn't Trump just say if he got assassinated he would nuke the world or something?

[00:08:29]>> I bet they thought that the Lindsey Graham thing was going to last a little bit longer. They're like, "We'll bury this right after." And you know, every time somebody like that dies, I I get really happy at like the way people talk about them online, cuz maybe that'll inspire some people who are also pieces of [ __ ] to be like, "Well, you know, I'm going to die. I don't want everybody to." But you know what? People are going to talk. I'm sure when I die, there's going to be some nothings. There's going to be nothing. Would you post about me?

[00:08:55]>> Well, now that we have a podcast out together, I'll [laughter] be able to share this >> because I think before I don't think there was any photos. Yeah. I don't think there was any photos of us, so I wouldn't have it. I'd be bummed, you know.

[00:09:08]>> Let's take a photo right now.

[00:09:09]>> Okay. Yeah, I need, you know, it is [ __ ] up.

[00:09:13]>> There you go. I don't like that if I died. Hold on. I have to look skinny.

[00:09:20]>> Um, can you please AI me skinny if I die?

[00:09:24]>> And I'll AI you with um with Fetty [ __ ] and uh >> and give me a Fetty [ __ ] >> Fetty [ __ ] is alive. Who's the Who's um >> the the Nipy Hustle?

[00:09:35]>> No. Who's the guy Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

[00:09:37]Like who do the [laughter] Who's the Is that Wait, >> I was way off >> uh sex acts.

[00:09:44]>> No, no, no.

[00:09:45]>> Are you talking about the the congressional congressman?

[00:09:48]>> No. Who's the rapper that's always photoshopped next to someone who's dead and they're in heaven?

[00:09:56]I'm coming off really bad because I'm just naming black rappers that are alive and not dead. And so that's my bad.

[00:10:02]>> But Nicole knows who you're talking about.

[00:10:04]>> Yeah. Who's the guy? It's >> XXX.

[00:10:08]>> Oh, XXT.

[00:10:09]>> Yes.

[00:10:10]>> Yeah. Derek Derek, don't don't speak badly of him.

[00:10:13]>> Yeah.

[00:10:14]>> Oh, another Dena Hashim situation.

[00:10:16]>> Wait, remember that? And >> well, I don't want to bring up old stuff because but she got it bad when she like they uh she she did this um joke about him on the not even about him, just like a joke about with him and I don't know on the comedy seller show. Remember that show?

[00:10:34]>> And then uh she just got a bunch of [ __ ] because another comic >> who sucks reposted it and was like, "Fuck her." and sent a bunch of people to her way and she got a bunch of like death threats and stuff.

[00:10:49]>> Oh my gosh.

[00:10:49]>> I know. So, >> and then she could have been photoshopped next to XXXTent.

[00:10:53]>> Exactly. Oh, is that the Is that the thing?

[00:10:56]>> Yeah.

[00:10:56]>> Yeah. Put me on one of those.

[00:10:58]>> Okay, I will.

[00:10:59]>> Would you?

[00:10:59]>> And you'll be skinny.

[00:11:01]>> I'll be a little >> skinny in heaven.

[00:11:03]>> Yeah, a little skinny heaven. No one will believe it though. They'll go, "Who is this? Is this the >> Is this the that new Who's that new fat actor? You know who I'm talking about?"

[00:11:12]>> There's a new fat actor.

[00:11:13]>> What's his name? Paul something.

[00:11:14]>> Oh, the guy. Yeah. Um, yeah. Paul Riser Hower.

[00:11:21]>> Paul Walter Hower.

[00:11:22]>> Paul Walter.

[00:11:23]>> Walter. Riser.

[00:11:25]>> Yeah. Three name.

[00:11:26]>> Yeah.

[00:11:27]>> Yeah.

[00:11:27]>> Good for him. [snorts] >> Good for him.

[00:11:29]>> I like him. He's a good actor.

[00:11:30]>> Yeah. Do you feel like that's your comp?

[00:11:32]That's your op.

[00:11:34]>> Yes. Every time. I mean, you got to, you know, it's my lot in life. Every time I think I have a little bit of heat, a new fat guy comes out.

[00:11:41]>> You know what I mean? I go, I got to take a I got to take a a seat back to Shane now. He comes out, he's hilarious.

[00:11:48]I got to go, All right. Or you just got to get >> I got to wait a couple of years. No, because then there's also Peyton Ruddy.

[00:11:54]So, I'm just not in a good place.

[00:11:56]>> [ __ ] [laughter] [ __ ] >> Bodywise, you know.

[00:11:59]>> What if you got so skinny?

[00:12:01]>> I'm trying.

[00:12:02]>> GL. What about these GLP1s?

[00:12:05]>> No. No. No. No. Never.

[00:12:06]>> Not going to do it.

[00:12:06]>> Never. Well, I'll ne I'll never say never >> because who knows? I might be need I might need them. Yeah, sure.

[00:12:12]>> When I get that diabet Yeah, right. [ __ ] Majoro.

[00:12:21]>> Trisha Pis is doing is doing ad deals for row. You're kind of male Trisha Pis.

[00:12:28]>> I don't know who that is.

[00:12:29]>> Oh, come on.

[00:12:30]>> Trish. Is that Is she from the H3 podcast?

[00:12:33]>> Trish. She was.

[00:12:34]>> Okay. [laughter] Look at me.

[00:12:36]>> She was, but there was a big old beef with her.

[00:12:40]Yeah, >> she's married. She's So Ethan from H3.

[00:12:44]You know Ethan? He's got a little bit of Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen his clips.

[00:12:49]His wife Hila >> Uh-huh.

[00:12:52]>> her brother Moses [laughter] >> is married about any of this. Oh, what?

[00:12:59]>> Yeah.

[00:12:59]>> Whoa. Exactly. Now I care. I immediately care. Patricia and Ethan had a podcast and then there was a beef between Moses and Hila and then they separated.

[00:13:10]>> The brother and sister.

[00:13:12]>> Yeah. So now So now none of them talk.

[00:13:15]>> How are are you close with your family?

[00:13:17]>> Well, I actually just went no contact with my mom today.

[00:13:22]>> Maybe yesterday was >> you're on like you're just like on a >> What book did you read?

[00:13:27]>> My boyfriend. [ __ ] my mom.

[00:13:28]>> Yeah. What would you read a book or something? No, my mom's an alcoholic.

[00:13:32]>> Oh, >> yeah.

[00:13:33]>> Were you an alcoholic?

[00:13:35]>> Yeah. Yeah. So, that's why I don't drink.

[00:13:37]>> Yeah. Don't drink. Did Were you a drug addict for weed?

[00:13:41]>> No. I tried. I really tried. I wanted to be a stoner so bad cuz it fits my vibe.

[00:13:47]>> I know it does.

[00:13:48]>> Someone If someone should be a stoner, it's Ali Makovsky.

[00:13:52]>> I'm going to tell you what, I'm going to disagree with that. And I'll tell you why.

[00:13:55]>> I'm in a I'm in a good peppy mood today.

[00:13:57]>> Yes. I like >> typically if you were to see me it's like >> no every time I see you you're you're peppy.

[00:14:02]>> That's because I'm in freaking New York.

[00:14:03]>> You're in freaking New York. Yeah. If I see you in LA, you're like you're like just wearing a big sweatshirt.

[00:14:09]>> I hate Mondays.

[00:14:09]>> Hi. I hate Monday. You're Garfield. Yes.

[00:14:12]And lasagna. Ol.

[00:14:15]But I think if you smoked weed it would just it would like you know it would it would bring you more down. You know what I mean? I don't think you can afford being more uh down energywise.

[00:14:27]>> No.

[00:14:27]>> No.

[00:14:28]>> Yeah. I really tried cuz I'm from Long Beach, California.

[00:14:31]>> That's what I was thinking. I thought you were like, you know, some like stonery surfery >> Totally.

[00:14:36]>> kind of person.

[00:14:37]>> And I tried. I really wanted to make it work. And I think out of all of the times that I smoked weed, which was a lot, there were maybe two times where I go, I get it. I get it. This is awesome.

[00:14:51]Every other time was I'm dying, call the cops.

[00:14:55]>> You know what? For me, weed, the only reason I'd want to quit is the after part. I've never had a I'm dying, call the I mean, I have, but like lately I don't. For the past couple years, I'm like, this rules. I love this. But then you hit a certain hour in the day and you just go, I really [ __ ] up.

[00:15:10]>> Like, I try not to smoke during the podcast, but sometimes I'm like, I'm we're having a fun day today. So, I'm like, I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to smoke, get a little happy, >> and then by the time um later comes, I'm going to be I'm going to hate myself.

[00:15:23]>> Yeah.

[00:15:24]>> You know, >> Yeah. I I went through a big bong phase, [snorts] >> but I guess that's just high school.

[00:15:30]Everyone's Everyone's smoking.

[00:15:31]>> We got a bong right there. But yeah, everybody's Everybody uh I love a bong.

[00:15:35]I love a good bong.

[00:15:36]>> But I like I think the the scary thing with the bong is that I would always What's it called? Cash it. Is that what the kids call it?

[00:15:45]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:15:46]>> Yeah. Like I didn't know how to take a little >> So it would go >> I would just eat the I would I would eat the whole thing up.

[00:15:54]>> Yeah.

[00:15:55]>> Yeah. I I I be like, "Oh, we're supposed to pass this around." And I was like, "Sorry."

[00:16:00]>> Oh, really? I thought you were supposed to smoke the entire bowl.

[00:16:03]>> No, I got you. Stay sober. So you don't even touch >> nothing.

[00:16:08]>> You're just like a person.

[00:16:09]>> Yeah. I'm just experiencing life. Yeah.

[00:16:13]on life's terms.

[00:16:15]>> Yeah, I'm kind of done with all like hallucinogens and stuff like that. Like really the only thing I I like is weed and coffee.

[00:16:21]>> Yeah, I love I love I love coffee. I love nicotine. I love food. [snorts] I was >> You smoke cigarettes?

[00:16:27]>> Yeah, occasionally. I used to smoke cigarettes exclusively.

[00:16:31]>> Yeah, you got a cigarette. Now I Now I get it. I know your real vibe.

[00:16:35]>> Picture together.

[00:16:36]>> I know your real vibe. I know exactly who you were in high school. Did you go to high school? I did go to high school and I stayed in high school.

[00:16:43]>> You you did the whole thing >> and I graduated.

[00:16:46]>> Good for you.

[00:16:46]>> Yeah. Wow.

[00:16:47]>> I mean, my GPA was down low.

[00:16:50]>> Were you not a good student?

[00:16:51]>> It started with a zero.

[00:16:54]>> Oh, really?

[00:16:54]>> Oh, yeah. 0 something.

[00:16:56]>> Whoa.

[00:16:57]>> Maybe it was a one.

[00:16:58]>> I think we all started zero.

[00:17:00]>> I mean, I finished with a zero.

[00:17:02]>> Oh, really?

[00:17:02]>> Yeah. My GPA was >> How do you get zero? I just stopped doing work.

[00:17:07]>> And they gave you every class gave you a How do you get a zero though?

[00:17:11]>> No, I think it I think it was like a 1.35 or something. Like my my GPA was low.

[00:17:17]>> You were being hyperbolic for comedy sake. I >> But there was someone I went to such I went to such a bad college that someone did say >> What college?

[00:17:25]>> Um Cal State San Marcos in North County, San Diego.

[00:17:29]>> And what did someone say? someone we were talking like it was like the first week of school and and everyone was like talking about like what their GPA was in high school and this girl truly was like 0 something.

[00:17:42]>> That's crazy.

[00:17:43]>> And I was like, why am I here?

[00:17:45]>> Yeah.

[00:17:45]>> In one of my classes, I remember I mean I would have stopped going to classes regardless. I just did not want to be there. But in my like English class, they were they were like the teacher was like, "Does everyone here know chronological order?" [laughter] And she then had to like explain it because not everyone knew.

[00:18:04]>> Yeah. You went to like you went to like a college that would be in like a you know a teacher tries to change an urban class.

[00:18:12]>> Absolutely. There were like service dogs on campus like people had like you know emotional support dogs or whatever like uh golden retrievers and I'm like those dogs are smarter than the students.

[00:18:23][laughter] >> Yeah that's crazy.

[00:18:25]>> That dog knows graduate from that college. No, I stopped going to class immediately. I lived on campus, though.

[00:18:31]>> Oh, that's pretty cool.

[00:18:32]>> Yeah, it was fun.

[00:18:33]>> Did you Why did Did you ever graduate college?

[00:18:35]>> No.

[00:18:36]>> Okay, that's what I was thinking, too.

[00:18:38]>> It is like the classes were so far from campus and there were so many stairs that I was like, you have to really want to go to class.

[00:18:45]>> I can't stand stairs. I mean, the fact that we have escalators and we still have stairs is insane to me, >> you know? It's like once you have the escalator, make everything escalators.

[00:18:55]There's nothing more. I want to I want to meet a mechanic or an electrician.

[00:19:01]>> Is that your kind of guy?

[00:19:02]>> It could be.

[00:19:03]>> Oh, could you're you're just everywhere on the map.

[00:19:05]>> Yeah. Like right now it's like my standards have never been lower.

[00:19:08]>> Okay. You hear that, fellas?

[00:19:09]>> Like now's the time to get in.

[00:19:10]>> Slip in the DMs, y'all.

[00:19:12]>> Yeah. Um my standards have never been lower at this time and it's for a limited time only. Like I'm only going to lower these standards for like 6 months.

[00:19:21]>> I feel like women get to do that a little bit.

[00:19:23]>> Yeah. You know, like you get to have like a how you say you get to you get to have a a >> how do you say run through?

[00:19:35]>> You get to get run through. Yeah.

[00:19:36]>> How do you say run through?

[00:19:38]>> So, have you seen anybody? Have you have you been run through since the breakup?

[00:19:41]>> No, I'm actually I've kind of become like a conservative woman post breakup.

[00:19:46]>> Okay.

[00:19:46]>> I'm like I only want one man >> and he's got to have a job.

[00:19:51]>> Okay. I guess that's what being conservative is to me.

[00:19:53]>> I think everybody's got a job at this point.

[00:19:55]>> I thought because here's the thing. I used to be a hoe.

[00:19:59]>> Uhhuh.

[00:19:59]>> And I and I have been ran through.

[00:20:02]>> Okay. All right.

[00:20:03]>> And then I got into this relationship at 25.

[00:20:06]>> Yes.

[00:20:07]>> And now I'm 30.

[00:20:08]>> Damn.

[00:20:09]>> And so there is still a hoe within me, >> but she's a little bit older.

[00:20:13]>> Yeah.

[00:20:14]>> She's a little bit wiser.

[00:20:15]>> Sure.

[00:20:15]>> And I'm not trying to pop this [ __ ] for everyone.

[00:20:18]>> I to Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's >> I would like to like kiss and have fun and whatever.

[00:20:23]>> New York's the place to do it.

[00:20:24]>> I guess LA is kind of the place to do it, too.

[00:20:26]>> It can be, >> but you got to have a car. [laughter] >> Yeah, but >> I think it's harder to have fun in case people and stuff when you have to drive everywhere.

[00:20:36]>> I'm doing like Okay, this is crazy. I'm doing like And by doing as though it's happening all the time, it's happened like three times. I'm doing like drive by makeouts.

[00:20:46]>> Okay, what does that mean?

[00:20:47]>> Because I don't want to pop my [ __ ] >> Okay. And so what I'll do, here's my move.

[00:20:52]>> Okay, >> I'm on the apps.

[00:20:53]>> Please stop cursing, by the way. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

[00:20:56]>> We got to monetize.

[00:20:57]>> No, no, no. It's fine.

[00:20:58]>> Um, >> I actually thought about not saying that cuz I was like, you know, when you say a joke and you know they're going to think this is real.

[00:21:04]>> No, I'm going to It's fine. I'll keep it clean.

[00:21:07]>> Oh, you're going to pop your pee?

[00:21:08]>> I'm going to pop my pee.

[00:21:11]>> So, wait. Okay. Drive. Drive by.

[00:21:13]>> So, I'm on the apps right now. I'm going to get off of them. Which ones? I'm on so >> Rya.

[00:21:19]>> No, because I used to be on Rya.

[00:21:22]>> Okay.

[00:21:22]>> And now I got I I tried to log back on.

[00:21:25]You have to pay and I'm like >> I thought you always had to pay. Oh, >> I'm a woman.

[00:21:29]>> Do they not have women pay? Like it's a >> Well, they make everyone pay.

[00:21:34]>> So Oh, and you're just you're like >> I shouldn't have to do that.

[00:21:37]>> You're a commodity.

[00:21:39]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:21:39]>> So I'm not on Rya.

[00:21:41]>> Mhm.

[00:21:42]But there's a new app that wasn't around when I was back in my hoof phase called Field.

[00:21:50]>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. Field's been around for a while.

[00:21:53]>> Yeah.

[00:21:53]>> That one's a little crazy, though.

[00:21:55]That's like That's like >> But it's not.

[00:21:56]>> That's like taking your shirt off at a Comic-Con.

[00:21:58]>> It can be crazy, but it doesn't have to be.

[00:22:01]>> I remember cuz I've always been I whenever I was single, I I stopped doing the the the apps right away. I was like, "This is not gonna help me. This is like me trying to get in to like star in a Broadway play and I don't know how to sing."

[00:22:18]>> Sure.

[00:22:18]>> You know, like I'm these there's never been a picture of me where I go hopefully someone will see this one a [ __ ] >> Um but I did look at Field for a second cuz I heard it was like, you know, easy.

[00:22:28]I heard it's like there's freaks on here.

[00:22:30]>> Yeah.

[00:22:30]>> So it's easier to get laid kind of thing. And uh it did feel like I was looking through like a like the like the employee manual at a hot topic kind of thing.

[00:22:41]>> You know what it feels like?

[00:22:43]>> It feels like you know how back in the day there would be like magazine like dirty magazines like Field feels like the modern version of that where it's like do you like this? Do you like that?

[00:22:54]Come meet me in the alley.

[00:22:55]>> Right. It's very much late night like a phone sex line thing like you know. So you're on this? So, I got on this just to check it out. I've never felt like more of a prude.

[00:23:07]>> Yeah.

[00:23:08]>> Because it's like, "What are your [ __ ] Sorry. What are your freaking kinks? What are your desires?" And I'm like, >> "You could curse."

[00:23:15]>> I'm like, "Handholding."

[00:23:17]>> Yeah. [laughter] >> Eye contact.

[00:23:19]>> Yeah. Forehead kisses.

[00:23:21]>> Laying in bed and forehead.

[00:23:22]>> It's very vanilla. The nice thing about field Yeah. is that like with a hinge or whatever, it's like you kind of have to be like, I want to get coffee, want to go get lunch, want to go to a bar.

[00:23:35]Whereas with Field, I can just be like, >> here's my move.

[00:23:38]>> Okay.

[00:23:38]>> Want to make out?

[00:23:40]>> Okay.

[00:23:40]>> Cuz I'll make out with anyone.

[00:23:42]>> Oh, wow. Nicole.

[00:23:44]>> Nicole, watch out. Watch out. I'm having a gay summer, Nicole.

[00:23:47]>> No. Are you having a gay summer?

[00:23:48]>> I'm having a gay summer.

[00:23:50]>> So, have you have are you by? Yeah.

[00:23:53][laughter] >> And when have you always known that?

[00:23:57]>> There's always been like there's always been a little bit of gay within >> Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Don't tell me about it.

[00:24:04]>> Saying bye sounds so gay, but I'm like >> Yeah.

[00:24:07]>> Sure. I'd hook up with a woman, >> right? So, and you've been doing that this summer.

[00:24:12]>> Yeah.

[00:24:12]>> Just a make out.

[00:24:13]>> Yeah. No, I've done >> hand stuff.

[00:24:16]>> Hand stuff.

[00:24:18]>> Have you scissored?

[00:24:19]>> Yeah.

[00:24:20]>> Whoa. Oh, so you went through you go through this breakup and now you're like, you know, you're like Melissa Ethridge all of a sudden.

[00:24:28]>> Kind of.

[00:24:29]>> Whoa. That's crazy.

[00:24:31]>> So, >> that's like my biggest nightmare for for a breakup.

[00:24:35]>> Why?

[00:24:36]>> Well, I told my I told my ex.

[00:24:38]>> So happy you moved on to be honest. I was like, "Yeah, I don't know.

[00:24:42]>> What's your biggest nightmare?"

[00:24:43]>> I don't know. Just the girl going No, it's like Yeah. Me and me and Caroline break up and then she's I hear she's like uh and I'm the only one who walks across the fire just scissoring me timbers. I would uh >> scissor me timbers.

[00:24:59]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would be like God.

[00:25:01]>> Well, I did. So, me and my ex we >> Was he a comic?

[00:25:07]>> No.

[00:25:07]>> Oh, good.

[00:25:08]>> But he's very funny.

[00:25:09]>> Oh, cool. I'm sure. And um I mean I guess it probably was always going to not work out because I would be like if we ever break up >> I feel like I feel like guys can kind of like move on easily >> in terms of like getting with someone new. I I don't know. I was just in my head I go the only way that you would be devastated >> is if >> when we break up I get with like the fugliest >> hard capital D dyke.

[00:25:42]>> Oh, >> I'm like nothing would upset you more than me just having the most butch >> this guy >> lesbian.

[00:25:48]>> Is that is that specific to that to your ex or >> I think maybe to anyone but definitely specific.

[00:25:53]>> No, because I would love that. I would go okay to each his own cuz I wouldn't feel intimidated. But if if Caroline got with like a a really funny funny comic and or whatever and he was handsome and skinny >> I guess this is specific to my ex.

[00:26:08]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:26:08]>> But um >> but it was amicable. So >> but it was super amicable. That's >> you guys were just like it's been 5 years.

[00:26:15]>> Yeah. We had a great relationship. You know how some breakups you're like oh my god I wasted all this [ __ ] time and money and blah blah blah. I think we both feel very much like this wasn't a loss. We had a great relationship.

[00:26:28]>> Okay.

[00:26:28]>> We learned a lot.

[00:26:29]>> Yeah.

[00:26:30]>> We did everything.

[00:26:31]>> Did you try anything before you broke up? Were you like, "Hey, we should go open."

[00:26:35]>> Oh, no. [laughter] No.

[00:26:38]>> Like, were you were like, "What's the what's the issue here that's making it like or was it just like the >> Was it an issue? I think it was just like fundamental things that I didn't realize were important to me that like I'm not going to that aren't things that he can change. It's different. We're different people.

[00:26:53]>> You're different people. You were 25.

[00:26:55]You're 30 now. Uh [laughter] >> you're different people. I get that.

[00:27:02]>> Yeah. So, it was very loving and we're still friends and >> I love him.

[00:27:07]>> Yeah, that's great.

[00:27:08]>> Do you ever talk on the phone or anything like that?

[00:27:11]>> Yes, we do.

[00:27:12]>> I don't think that's a good idea.

[00:27:13]>> We're not like chatting every day or anything, >> but you go, "Hi."

[00:27:17]>> But occasionally I'll be like, "Can I use the I'm in your neighborhood. Can I use the bathroom? I have to poop."

[00:27:23]>> Oh, okay. Okay.

[00:27:25]>> That happened once.

[00:27:26]>> Okay. All right. Yeah.

[00:27:28]>> Or I'll just be like, uh, want to catch up, >> right? I think, uh, I just don't know how to handle like or how to like live in a breakup because every girl I've dated has been a besides, you know, the current one has been a nut.

[00:27:45]>> Yeah. See, I think I'm like so cool.

[00:27:49]>> Chill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure. It would be I the only time that I would go crazy nutbag psycho mode is if the person would not allow me to be friends with them.

[00:27:59]>> I know we're going to be [ __ ] friends.

[00:28:01]>> Interesting.

[00:28:02]>> Know we're going to be [ __ ] friends.

[00:28:03]>> See, now that would I would be like I need time. Like what about that?

[00:28:07]>> Totally. That's fine.

[00:28:08]>> I need time. I can't now. I can't right now.

[00:28:11]>> Yeah, that's fine. [laughter] >> But never if I was like nah never ever.

[00:28:16]>> Yeah. I'm like just don't be [ __ ] weird. Would that make you want him more in a way? Would you be like, "Okay, forbidden fruit."

[00:28:23]>> I get it. Would just make me devastated a >> Because I'd be like, "You're my friend."

[00:28:27]>> A sad. A >> I get that. I do. I I I totally get that.

[00:28:33]>> Yeah. But >> But now you're you're in >> But now what I'm doing is I'm doing drive by makeup.

[00:28:39]>> Yes. What is that?

[00:28:40]>> I'm popping my my my lips up here. Not my pee lips. I'm popping >> Yeah. [laughter and gasps] That's when Yeah. You're popping You're popping your lips. Yeah.

[00:28:48]>> So, I just said, "Do you want to make out >> to just somebody on the street?"

[00:28:52]>> No, just like like someone hot on one of these apps. Yeah. Cuz I don't need to get coffee. I'm not trying to date. I'm not trying to like get to know your family and your back. Totally. Totally.

[00:29:02]>> I would just like to make out with someone.

[00:29:04]>> At what times are you doing this? Like, what time of the day?

[00:29:07]>> Maybe I'll set it up at like I could set it up at like 2:00 p.m. at the earliest.

[00:29:11]>> That's actually better than what I was thinking because I was thinking nighttime, but that's better. You go you make out with some random person on the internet. Yeah.

[00:29:19]>> And um totally cool. And then you just go about your day with the dopamine, >> right, of I just >> made out with somebody in the middle of the day and I didn't even know who they were and I met them on the internet.

[00:29:33]>> Yeah. Except you can get duped on these apps.

[00:29:36]>> Sure.

[00:29:36]>> Cuz I made out with someone. Guess what?

[00:29:38]After the make out, >> now I have mouth herpes.

[00:29:40]>> After the make out, they go, >> "Oh yeah, um >> I love you. I know you're a comedian.

[00:29:46]>> Oh.

[00:29:46]>> Oh, are you a comedian? Not really.

[00:29:49]Okay, I'm gonna check your Instagram after this. Oh, you post clips. Oh, you post clips.

[00:29:54]>> It was a comedian. So, wait, but what what does that matter?

[00:29:57]>> Well, I'm just I'm not I'm not in the making out with open mic comic phase.

[00:30:03]>> Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. You need to uh Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm more of a bringer guy. I go, if the if the girls are doing bringers, then I'm into it.

[00:30:11]>> Yeah. You're like, "Can I have five of your friends come to make out with after?" [laughter] >> I know. Even worse, I go, "You didn't bring the right amount of people, and I don't let them make out."

[00:30:20]>> Oh, shoot.

[00:30:21]>> Wow. Okay. So, but yeah, you're you're you know, you're a pretty known comedian. Like, >> isn't that just going to happen?

[00:30:29]>> I guess so.

[00:30:30]>> Do you ever think about that when you're going on these apps that you're like, h, you know, like, >> yeah, people are going to >> people are going to know. People are going to know who I am.

[00:30:36]>> Yeah, that's fine.

[00:30:38]>> That's pretty cool.

[00:30:40]disclose after the make out, >> right? I mean, it's just a make out.

[00:30:45]>> It's not too bad. It's not like you guys banged and you're laying in bed and he's going, [snorts] >> I was watching your clips today.

[00:30:53]>> So, was it like going on Joe Rogan's [laughter] podcast?

[00:30:56]>> Is How tall is he?

[00:30:58]>> Is it What's he like in real life? Is he nice?

[00:31:02]>> Does his voice have like an ASMR thing?

[00:31:04]I picture an ASMR thing. That's a real question I have. I'm putting it in this character, but I'm like, "No, but really." Yeah. Yeah. But you know, when you're in a room with someone, you're like, >> you're like, "Oh, their voice kind of sounds >> different."

[00:31:18]>> H Does my voice sound different?

[00:31:22]>> No.

[00:31:23]>> Okay.

[00:31:24]>> No.

[00:31:24]>> Okay.

[00:31:25]>> No, I actually think it sounds better than on the podcast.

[00:31:28]>> I'm really sad that we didn't do karaoke.

[00:31:31]>> Yeah. I'm not really in like I I'm not really in the business of doing things.

[00:31:37]>> [laughter] >> I like my life without doing stuff.

[00:31:41]>> Sure.

[00:31:41]>> You know what I mean? You It really does have to, you know.

[00:31:44]>> Yeah. A lot of people want me to do stuff and I don't want to do stuff.

[00:31:48]>> Yeah.

[00:31:49]>> I would I would if we got like a big group, you know, like like Lizz's coming in today.

[00:31:54]>> Um we got if we She was into it.

[00:31:56]>> We would I would never invite you to just do one- on-one karaoke.

[00:32:00]>> I did that with Fenie once. We we like we went to we just went to karaoke and we just we just sang like emo music >> well enough to be like let's do karaoke >> of course of course but even getting a big group of people and then and then >> but then even me trying to get like go to that and you know what I I have this problem where I really don't like doing stuff and I'm so happy with my life of just coming home and watching TV and hanging out with Caroline and just and and petting our little cat and having a good time.

[00:32:34]>> Uh, I said that just because she was right there. No, I'm just kidding. Um, but I'm I also have FOMO. I get FOMO. I want I want to hang out. I want to be at the the karaoke thing, but I just know, you know, when you ever go to a wedding and you're dancing and then there's that moment, and as a sober person, I think you'll probably feel this more. There's a moment when you're dancing where it all just the facade of what you're doing drops and you and it's a quick moment of going like you're like and then you just go >> what am I doing and then you go back to dancing right I think that little moment is kind of where I live uh almost 100% of the time.

[00:33:16]>> Yeah.

[00:33:16]>> Where I'm like >> you're kind of narrating your life as it's happening. Yes.

[00:33:20]>> You're going oh now I'm dancing at a wedding. I'm the guy on the dance floor at the wedding.

[00:33:24]>> Look at me. And I'm not embarrassed.

[00:33:25]>> No, >> I'm just going >> You're just hyper aware of >> I'm just going what what is this? Yeah.

[00:33:30]>> What are we doing right now?

[00:33:32]>> Yeah.

[00:33:32]>> You know, why don't we talk about the political economic state of the world?

[00:33:36][laughter] >> You turn into Will Smith's son, Jaden Smith.

[00:33:40]>> That's Jaden Smith. Yeah.

[00:33:41]>> Yeah. Have you seen the video of him being like >> I've seen the video of him being like >> the economic and state Hi. Do you know Caroline?

[00:33:52]>> How are you?

[00:33:54]Okay. Gorgeous girlfriend.

[00:33:56]>> She's so hot.

[00:33:58]>> Gorgeous girlfriend.

[00:33:59]>> I know. She's really great.

[00:34:01]>> Do you think if if [laughter] >> Do you think if we left the door open for OJ that he would maybe come out?

[00:34:08]>> No chance. But let's leave it open.

[00:34:10]>> There's There's absolutely no chance he's coming out.

[00:34:12]>> Let's leave it open. Let's just see what happens.

[00:34:16]>> Maybe. I mean, he looks at these cameras like they're like they're the aliens from that Tom Cruz movie.

[00:34:22]I love that movie. [laughter] >> Okay. What's that?

[00:34:25]>> War of the Worlds.

[00:34:26]>> War of the Worlds.

[00:34:27]>> Takes place in New York.

[00:34:28]>> Yes, it does.

[00:34:29]>> Tom Cruz is a long shoreman in the movie. You know, he's a dock worker like my parents.

[00:34:33]>> I've actually never seen that movie.

[00:34:35]I've Your parents were dock workers.

[00:34:37]>> Yes.

[00:34:38]>> In in >> in Long Beach, California. Long Beach, California. San Pedro, California.

[00:34:42]>> Long Beach. Bye. In Long Beach, California.

[00:34:46]>> Damn, that's crazy.

[00:34:47]>> Yeah. So, when I saw that movie, I go, representation matters.

[00:34:51]Did Did you grow up where Snoop Dogg grew up?

[00:34:53]>> No.

[00:34:54]>> Oh, I uh No.

[00:34:56]>> Oh, okay.

[00:34:57]>> I wish I could say I did. That's not true.

[00:35:00]>> Damn, she smells good. She put on some perfume. Walked through here. I was like, >> "How did you guys meet?"

[00:35:05]>> She's a comic.

[00:35:06]>> Oh my god. Yeah, she looks familiar. I'm like, I swear she puts out and stuff all the time. Um, if you ever want to have a lesbian thing with her, I'm cool with it.

[00:35:14]>> Okay.

[00:35:15]>> I'm I would say I'm cool with it.

[00:35:17]>> You do you think so?

[00:35:19]>> Do I think I'm cool with it? Yeah. Like like in reality, like if she were to hook up with a girl.

[00:35:24]>> Um I would have to be involved somehow >> like watching.

[00:35:30]>> Yeah, I would watch.

[00:35:32]>> Yeah, I'd with switch.

[00:35:36]>> Are you Are you guys having fun?

[00:35:38][laughter] >> You go. Hey, I'm cheering her on.

[00:35:42]>> Good a up coaching from the sidelines.

[00:35:46]>> Uh now that would be hot, too, I think.

[00:35:50]coaching from the sidelines. I go, >> "You're directing.

[00:35:53]>> Tell her. Tell her order some stuff off GrubHub.

[00:35:56]>> Tell her she's pretty.

[00:35:57]>> Tell her she's pretty. Hold her hand."

[00:35:59]>> Yeah.

[00:36:00]>> Um do that thing where when you guys are making out, you hold hands like this.

[00:36:04]>> A [laughter] >> Do you ever do like a Spider-Man kiss?

[00:36:09]>> Oh, like an upside down kiss. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[00:36:12]>> Of course. Any chance I get, I'll do any kind of kiss.

[00:36:15]>> Making out is fun.

[00:36:17]Making out's so fun.

[00:36:19]>> Yeah, it is fun.

[00:36:20]>> And I think >> But how do you go from making out to then not doing anything after?

[00:36:25]>> Well, I'm like I don't know. I don't think I'm like actually a very sexual person.

[00:36:30]>> Really?

[00:36:30]>> Yeah. So, I'm like very comfortable with just a make out.

[00:36:34]>> Damn.

[00:36:35]>> Yeah. And I think you can learn a lot about a person from the make out if there's >> Have you always been like that? Like have you always been like a not sexual person? Well, I think I like validation and so I like like getting to the place where someone wants to have sex, but I think sex is key is what they call it.

[00:36:53]>> Yeah. Well, no. I mean, back in the day I was a hoe, so I'd always put out.

[00:36:57]>> What's back in the day? High school.

[00:36:59]>> No, like Yeah. Like um high school up until 25.

[00:37:03]>> Damn. So, you went from like hoe phase >> truly.

[00:37:06]>> To then being with a guy for five years.

[00:37:08]>> Yeah.

[00:37:10]>> Damn.

[00:37:10]>> Yeah. [clears throat] And do you and this guy have sex?

[00:37:13]>> Yeah.

[00:37:16]>> Yeah. Okay, good. Just just checking.

[00:37:17]>> Yeah, we would have sex.

[00:37:19]>> Nice. Whoa.

[00:37:20]>> Yeah. Do you do you and Caroline have sex?

[00:37:23]>> We not We haven't Yeah. No, I mean I don't know.

[00:37:26]>> How long have you guys been together?

[00:37:28]>> Two years.

[00:37:29]>> Okay. Yeah.

[00:37:30]>> And what's the how on average how often are you guys >> going to pound town?

[00:37:35]>> Intimate.

[00:37:36]>> Yeah.

[00:37:36]>> Almost every every other night. Maybe every night.

[00:37:39]>> Oh, that's good. We try every every night, but that's crazy.

[00:37:42]>> Sometimes I just can't do it. No, I sometimes I'm I think we're both just exhausted. We're like, >> you know, we did go to a you know, it's like, you know, it's really important, you know.

[00:37:53]>> Yeah.

[00:37:54]>> And uh so yeah, it's that's that's Yeah.

[00:37:58]>> Here's my thing, and sorry to get so sexual. I'm not having orgasms.

[00:38:03]>> You don't ever have an orgasm?

[00:38:05]>> No.

[00:38:05]>> Really?

[00:38:06]>> Yeah. So sex for me is very much one way. I'm like, "Oh, good for you coming and whatnot. Oh, good for you getting off."

[00:38:16]>> I don't like that.

[00:38:17]>> Yeah. So, I'm like, it's very one-sided.

[00:38:20]So, >> that feels like going on a roller coaster someone else didn't want to go on.

[00:38:24]>> Yeah.

[00:38:24]>> You know, you get off and you're like, >> I'm sorry I made that made you do that.

[00:38:28]>> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] >> Their stomach hurts. They're throwing up.

[00:38:32]>> They're like, "No, no, I'm h You had fun though, right?" And I go, "Yeah, but it doesn't if I have fun, it really it only matters if we have fun is what I'm trying >> I love watching you experience the roller coaster." [laughter] >> I I get off watching you have a good time.

[00:38:46]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like when someone Yeah. Your whole life is somebody going, "You want to get food?" And you go, "I just ate, but I'll watch."

[00:38:52]>> Totally.

[00:38:53]>> Damn, that sucks.

[00:38:54]>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to the buffet full of [ __ ] [laughter] No appetite at the buffet.

[00:39:00]>> Damn. What do you think that is? You just don't have a control over.

[00:39:03]>> It's a mental It's a mental thing.

[00:39:05]>> Where are you?

[00:39:06]>> Oh, I'm everywhere. I'm at Trader Joe's.

[00:39:09]I'm at my grandma's funeral. I'm [laughter] You know, >> See, those are the things that make me not come quick.

[00:39:16]>> Totally.

[00:39:16]>> You know, you're you're you're saying everything like you just you're just there and I have to put myself there. I go cookies on aisle three, my grandma's funeral on aisle four.

[00:39:25]>> The way that you're at the wedding on the dance floor going, "Oh, I'm at the wedding on the dance floor. That's me during sex.

[00:39:32]>> So, how do you get over that? Because you got to you got to fix that.

[00:39:35]>> I know. I'm a 30year-old woman.

[00:39:37]>> Yeah, you should know what >> imagine. Here's the thing. It's like I want to have kids, but I can't have kids be I can't have kids before having an I need to have an orgasm.

[00:39:46]>> Yeah, you can't have kids.

[00:39:47]>> I can't be like, "Oh, I had the I have these two beautiful children."

[00:39:51]>> Yeah. You can't really have a >> from a orgasmless.

[00:39:55]>> Yeah. No, that's already bad. That's like That's not good. can't bring them into the world. You cannot have children or orgasmless.

[00:40:03]>> No.

[00:40:03]>> I wonder if my mom had an orgasm when when I was conceived.

[00:40:06]>> I hope so. My mom for sure didn't.

[00:40:08]>> I [laughter] can just feel it on me.

[00:40:09]>> Yeah. You got to you got to get good at at um at getting that because as you get older as a woman, you don't really have much currency sexually unless you're good at it.

[00:40:19]>> Uhhuh. [laughter] >> Totally. And it's like Yeah. As I lose my love, no one's going to want >> I'm JK, by the way. Of course, by the way. Of course.

[00:40:29]>> For all the for all the ladies out there listening to the podcast, you know, I was just playing >> ally.

[00:40:35]>> I'm an ally.

[00:40:36]>> Ally.

[00:40:36]>> I'm an ally. Macy Mac.

[00:40:38]>> I'm an ally cat.

[00:40:39]>> Ally cat mac.

[00:40:40]>> Ally cat mac.

[00:40:41]>> Yeah.

[00:40:42]>> Yeah.

[00:40:43]>> Um.

[00:40:43]>> Yeah. You got to have an So, so yeah.

[00:40:46]How do we How do we help you?

[00:40:47]>> I was saying, >> what about when you're going out of yourself?

[00:40:50]>> No.

[00:40:51]>> Do you have I'm edging. That's my kink on field. Edging. [laughter] I'm always edging. I'm always edging.

[00:41:00]>> So what?

[00:41:02]>> But I I was seeing a womb witch in Los Angeles.

[00:41:05]>> A womb witch?

[00:41:06]>> Yeah, it's this woman who fingers me.

[00:41:08]She lives in the valley. She >> double double to in trouble.

[00:41:13]>> She [laughter] does do a land acknowledgement beforehand.

[00:41:16]>> What does she do? She puts [ __ ] uh >> She does I have I have I have N in your [ __ ] >> Yep. Yep. She she has a home blend of oils that she uses [laughter] and um it's a little mix of hoba, coconut, various oils.

[00:41:32]>> You're like the the womb witch is supposed to be here. Any minute you hear Al's LIKE [snorts] [laughter] >> ALAKAZ, >> oh she can't she's here.

[00:41:40]>> Yeah, >> that's so funny.

[00:41:41]>> Yeah. So, you know, I'm I'm pro I'm doing this stuff.

[00:41:46]>> Damn. So, what all jokes aside, obviously I was really having fun with that riff, but um what is a womb witch?

[00:41:53]>> A womb witch is, I don't know, kind of an eastern holistic type of white woman who's shoeless, of course.

[00:42:05]>> Uhhuh.

[00:42:06]>> And she she deals >> she comes in shoeless. She wearing Crocs or anything? Well, she's in her own home, so she's like, >> "Oh, you have to go to her house."

[00:42:16]>> I go to her.

[00:42:17]>> Okay.

[00:42:18]>> It would be kind of more weird if she like came over to my place. I'm like, "So, >> you had to clean it up." Yeah.

[00:42:22]>> Yeah. I'm like, "Here's the bedroom."

[00:42:24]>> You go, "Let's go into the bedroom.

[00:42:25]Please step over that."

[00:42:26]>> Uhhuh.

[00:42:27]>> She goes, "You You have a big pile of laundry. One second. You have to put it on the chair."

[00:42:31]>> Sorry. I didn't know you were going to be here. [laughter] >> Okay. So, you go to her house. What does her house look like? Well, so unfortunately where we started was her >> studio apartment >> ADU back house >> her cove in Altadena that burned down in the fires >> that were lit by other people.

[00:42:52]>> Uhhuh.

[00:42:53]>> Cuz she was a witch. [laughter] >> Yeah. So So her So the [ __ ] >> I'm the only one enjoying this, but keep going.

[00:43:00]>> The [ __ ] palace got burned down [laughter] >> in the fires.

[00:43:05]So, she moved and I didn't like the new location. Sorry, Lee.

[00:43:10]>> I didn't like the new location because it was like an Yeah, >> Lee the the womb witch.

[00:43:14]>> Yeah, she's great. Highly recommend.

[00:43:16]>> Does she have a big hat?

[00:43:18]>> You know, on her website, she has a big hat, but she doesn't wear a big hat when she's working on me.

[00:43:23]>> The hat would be distracting.

[00:43:24]>> That would be a distraction.

[00:43:25]>> Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:43:27]>> But she moved into this other apartment, but it has shared walls. And I'm like, "What if I finally bust?" And I'm like, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:43:35]>> Like I don't want the neighbor. I don't want the >> It's not like that. I'm not going to do that.

[00:43:39]>> It's not like that. I don't think I don't think women I don't think real women actually bust like that. And I could be wrong. I have a guy >> having zero orgasm.

[00:43:47]>> She's having great orgasms. They're like sneezes though. She's like, [laughter] "Yeah, that's exactly Yeah, exactly.

[00:43:55]It's not exactly uh that sounds like uh Seth Rogan laughing." [laughter] He goes, Maybe he's having or maybe every time he laughs orgasm and that's him orgasming.

[00:44:09]Everyone's like he's just so happy and silly and it's like no he's a pervert.

[00:44:13]That's what James Franco's new videos are all about.

[00:44:15]>> Yeah. I have to tell you something.

[00:44:17]>> Did you see that?

[00:44:18]>> Every time Seth Rogan laughs he comes al.

[00:44:23]>> Let him live.

[00:44:24]>> He's so handsome that I keep being these videos are AI.

[00:44:28]>> Oh, they do look AI.

[00:44:30]>> He's so handsome.

[00:44:32]>> They do. Yeah, he is a very handsome guy.

[00:44:35]>> Um, I want to know more about this womb witch. So, you go to her cave.

[00:44:38]>> I go to her cave.

[00:44:39]>> You go to her cave in Salem, Massachusetts.

[00:44:41]>> Yes.

[00:44:41]>> And, um, >> she's on a broom.

[00:44:43]>> She's got she's got a giant cauldron in the middle that she uses to put inside of me.

[00:44:48]>> Yeah. She's stirring a cauldron with dildos.

[00:44:51]>> Yes.

[00:44:51]>> So, how long how many times have you gone to her?

[00:44:55]>> I've gone to her >> Does she kiss you?

[00:44:57]>> A handful of times.

[00:44:58]>> Hey, a finger full of time. Finger.

[00:45:00]>> And she just fingers you? She fingers me >> with your like underwear on or >> No, no, no. She gives me a sarong.

[00:45:08]>> What is that?

[00:45:09]>> Like one of those wraps that your mom wears at the beach to hide her cellulite.

[00:45:14]>> This is not legal >> and there's [laughter] no like medical form, you know? It's just like, "No, I went to Ohigh and did a retreat and now I do this to people >> and she and then you uh you have to sell your soul to her by the end of it. If you This She's like Ursula where if you come you >> she steals my voice.

[00:45:30]>> She steals your voice.

[00:45:32]>> [laughter] >> Yeah, >> that's [ __ ] hilarious.

[00:45:38]>> And then, see, this is how in my head I am that I stopped going to her >> cuz you started catching feelings.

[00:45:45]>> Yeah. Lee, you're so beautiful. Lee, why don't you kiss?

[00:45:49]>> Do you say stuff like that like when she's going at it? Well, what do you do?

[00:45:52]What? Do you have headphones in [laughter] like you're in a [ __ ] like you're in a [ __ ] brain scan?

[00:45:57]>> No. So, here's what happens. Let me walk you through it. She goes, "Before you walk in," she goes, "Take off anything metal."

[00:46:03]>> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. Um, no. I go in, she she gives me a little sarong, a little wrap to put over myself. I go to the bathroom or she leaves the room. I get naked. I put the sarong on. I lay on the bed. It's kind of like massage table out and everything.

[00:46:20]>> Well, no, cuz I have the sarong on.

[00:46:22]>> Oh, so the sarong comes up to here.

[00:46:24]>> Yeah. It looks like I'm in Hawaii on vacation.

[00:46:26]>> Okay. Yeah. You look like Lilo.

[00:46:28]>> Yes, exactly. So, I have my sarong on. I lay on this table. She comes in. She lights some sage.

[00:46:34]>> She does a land acknowledgement.

[00:46:37]>> No, she doesn't.

[00:46:38]>> Yes, she does.

[00:46:40]>> She does.

[00:46:40]>> She does a land acknowledgement.

[00:46:42]>> Now, this is getting closer and closer to the way I have >> the portals.

[00:46:45]>> Yeah. Every time me and Caroline are about to do it, I have to acknowledge the land. This belongs to our landlord.

[00:46:52]>> Yes.

[00:46:52]>> I do a landlord acknowledgement.

[00:46:54]>> Yes. [laughter] >> Okay. Sorry. So, okay, she liked Now, is the sage and the land acknowledgement is all that stuff, all that woo woo hippie [ __ ] is that like >> getting me in the mood? Absolutely.

[00:47:08][laughter] >> But can you opt out of that? Can you go, "Hey, can you not? This is not helping."

[00:47:13]Like the smell of sage is not helping me.

[00:47:15]>> I'm sure I could. She's like, she's a very nice woman. I'm sure if I was like, I'd be more comfortable if you didn't do the sage in the land acknowledgement.

[00:47:23]But, you know, having done it now a handful of times, I'm kind of like, this is not it's grounding.

[00:47:29]>> How does she sound when she's talking to you?

[00:47:30]>> She's very quiet, very whispered. She's like, she's like, I'd like to thank the stars and the moon and the >> Is there music playing?

[00:47:37]>> Well, so she goes, she goes, "Would it be helpful if we had music?" And so one time we did do music and >> generals gathered in their masses.

[00:47:47]You go, "Uh, no. Actually, turn this off.

[00:47:50]>> We change. She doesn't have Spotify premium." And it's like [laughter] Burger King is doing a deal. And I'm like, [laughter] >> that would make me come.

[00:48:00]>> Burger King got a deal.

[00:48:03]>> That's hilarious.

[00:48:04]>> Okay, so she sprays the thing. Not sprays. She lights the sage so that no ghosts got into your vagine >> to clear all the haunted.

[00:48:13]>> Now, are you shaved or what's the >> No, I don't give a f. I'll show up.

[00:48:18]>> Oh god.

[00:48:19]>> Hairy, hairless.

[00:48:20]>> Maybe that's what's going on. Yeah, >> maybe. What about when you're on like a date or something?

[00:48:26]>> Well, this was all in relationship.

[00:48:29]>> Oh, >> the womb witch experience has all been >> while you were in a relationship.

[00:48:33]>> While I was in relationship.

[00:48:34]>> And it is your was your boyfriend at the time like, "Can I come?" And >> I invited him. I was like, "You should come."

[00:48:40]>> He's like playing with the [ __ ] >> He's on his iPad.

[00:48:43]>> Yeah. [laughter] >> Like a kid in a waiting room.

[00:48:46]>> Yeah. Fruit.

[00:48:47]>> He's like, "When is this over?"

[00:48:48]>> Yeah. You come out, you go, "How'd it go? How'd it go, babe? Like you were getting nails done. You go, "Let me see."

[00:48:54]>> Uhhuh.

[00:48:54]>> Let me see it. Let me see it.

[00:48:56]>> Oh, it looks good.

[00:48:57]>> It looks good. A little swollen.

[00:48:59]>> Uhhuh.

[00:48:59]>> So, okay. So, she's like, you're and your your ex didn't want to go.

[00:49:04]>> Did he figure I think maybe this is a you thing? And I think you need to figure your [ __ ] out and then I'll come.

[00:49:10]I don't want to be a part of this.

[00:49:12]>> Yeah, but I was like, maybe it's helpful just to I don't know. See what >> hold your hand like you're going through a pregnancy.

[00:49:18]>> You go Is it bad you?

[00:49:22]>> I just need you there.

[00:49:23]>> So, did he go?

[00:49:24]>> No, >> not once.

[00:49:25]>> No. And maybe things would be a little different if [laughter] he did.

[00:49:28]>> Why didn't he go?

[00:49:29]>> Um, I don't know. I think it's just like weird.

[00:49:32]>> I get that.

[00:49:33]>> But he should have gone.

[00:49:34]>> I get that.

[00:49:34]>> He should have gone. I'm going to call him.

[00:49:36]>> Yeah, he should have gone to the womb.

[00:49:38]>> He should have gone to the womb witch.

[00:49:40]Why didn't you go to the womb witch?

[00:49:43]>> Okay. So, now you're laying there and she's playing some sort of Did you What did you decide on the music? Silence.

[00:49:50]>> Oh god.

[00:49:50]>> Cuz the music then I'm thinking like, "Oh, what? Who did this?"

[00:49:54]>> Yeah. You're going, "Is this Beethoven or Bog?"

[00:49:56]>> Who? Yeah. But it could be like spa music like >> Yeah.

[00:50:01]>> You know?

[00:50:01]>> Yeah.

[00:50:02]>> But then you're sitting there going, "Who makes these?"

[00:50:04]>> Yeah.

[00:50:05]>> And then you hear is is a is that a pan flute?

[00:50:09]>> I wonder if this is peaceful piano or or sleep time.

[00:50:13]>> Yeah. What playlist is this? Coffee time jazz.

[00:50:15]>> Yeah. Coffee shop jazz. coffee shop jazz possibly.

[00:50:19]>> So, I would I would opt for quiet and then it would >> You would opt for quiet.

[00:50:25]>> I would opt for quiet like it's an Uber.

[00:50:27]It's an Uber.

[00:50:28]>> Yeah, I go quiet and cool. And I do have a bag.

[00:50:31]>> Conversation not preferred. And I do have a bag. [laughter] >> So, if you could just find a spot for my bag, that'd be great.

[00:50:38]>> Yeah, it's called on the table.

[00:50:39]>> Yeah.

[00:50:40]>> Anyway, whatever. We'll cut that out.

[00:50:42][laughter] >> That doesn't mean anything. So, okay.

[00:50:44]She's playing music. You're laying there.

[00:50:48]>> I'm laying there. She has all her lotions and potions. She's kind of like, you know, giving me a gentle massage. I don't want the viewers to get crazy horny, but she has massaging.

[00:50:59]>> I think it's too late for that, to be honest.

[00:51:01]>> So, whatever. Nicole's [ __ ] fisting herself.

[00:51:03]>> She puts gloves on. She's fingering me.

[00:51:05]And then, >> and she's fingering you. She's like going like this and [ __ ] Not like [laughter] >> but she's, you know, >> she's like, "Okay, you ready?"

[00:51:18]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:51:19]>> That's [ __ ] crazy.

[00:51:20]>> I'm like, "How many fingers are in?"

[00:51:21]>> You go, "More >> more harder."

[00:51:23]>> She goes like this. She goes, "Okay."

[00:51:25]Ready?

[00:51:26]>> Yeah.

[00:51:28][laughter] >> Eloves. How is she How is she fingering?

[00:51:32]I don't want I'm not I'm not trying to do this for any kind of sexual reason.

[00:51:35]I'm not trying to please the boys if you know what I'm saying. Yeah. But I am interested to know what kind is it?

[00:51:41]>> It's very like it's very sensual and what it is. It's less about the fingering and more about me being comfortable in my body in the place that I'm in in the zone. So, it's more like me advocating for myself, saying what I like, saying what I don't like. And it was helpful because then it was like like I remember like in the midst of the of the womb witch season of my life. I was getting my nails done and at one point I was like I didn't want something and I spoke up for myself and I'm like oh it's because I'm like getting comfortable like saying what I like and don't like in these sessions and it's like transferring into other areas. And so I think interesting it's for me to just be comfortable and like noticing what I'm liking, what I'm not liking, and speaking up for myself.

[00:52:28]>> Okay. So it's a So your kink is uh confidence.

[00:52:31]>> Yes.

[00:52:31]>> Is confidence in yourself.

[00:52:32]>> Yes. But I stopped going because at a certain point I'm like laying on the table and I'm like she she [ __ ] loves this. She loves doing this. Oh, she just made a career with her kink. Like this is just >> Can you just though tune that out?

[00:52:47]>> I try. I'm like, who cares if she does?

[00:52:50]>> Like, what if she does?

[00:52:51]>> Just think about some stuff that like gets you going, >> I guess.

[00:52:56]>> See, this is this is me dancing on a dance floor.

[00:52:59]>> Yeah, it's it's Yeah, I get it. I get it. I mean, the [ __ ] that you guys ladies, you got to go through. It's like, >> yeah, it's so mental.

[00:53:05]>> It's all mental. It's insane. You can't even It's mental, isn't it? You can't even >> enjoy sex.

[00:53:12]>> No.

[00:53:13]>> There's nothing you guys can enjoy. No wonder you're such crazy [ __ ] >> Yeah. No wonder these broads are >> No wonder you guys don't shut up.

[00:53:21]>> Um JK, obviously JK. I'm not that kind of guy.

[00:53:24]>> And everything we've said is JK.

[00:53:26]>> Everything we've said is mostly JK.

[00:53:28]>> Mostly JK.

[00:53:29]>> So you stopped going or did you did you have to tell her?

[00:53:33]>> Did you have to go?

[00:53:33]>> I just kind of stopped scheduling appointments.

[00:53:36]>> Oh yeah.

[00:53:37]>> Sorry, Lee.

[00:53:38]>> Damn, that sucks.

[00:53:39]>> I love you. And I'm sure I'll go back.

[00:53:40]So really what you should be doing now is your is like your your summer of trying to find that orgasm.

[00:53:48]>> Yeah, totally.

[00:53:49]>> Have you never had one?

[00:53:50]>> No, I have.

[00:53:51]>> Why? What happened? You were on a horse or something?

[00:53:54]>> No, but I do love horses on you.

[00:53:57][laughter] >> Do you like horses?

[00:53:59]>> I love horses.

[00:54:00]>> Oh, that's sweet.

[00:54:01]>> I love animals.

[00:54:02]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:54:03]>> Um I do not want to get penetrated or [ __ ] by a horse. I would like to make that clear and I don't want to have an orgasm on a horse because I would like to keep my relationship with them pure.

[00:54:13]>> Sure. And the horse would be like why is >> sometimes it does feel good when we're galloping. I'm like >> do you still ride horses?

[00:54:18]>> Sometimes I love riding horses.

[00:54:20]>> Really?

[00:54:21]>> Yes.

[00:54:21]>> You're not afraid that it's going to like >> I think the scariest animal in the world is the horse. And I'll tell you why.

[00:54:26]Every angle from them can kill you. The back can kill you. The front can kill you. The side they could pin you against a wall. You could the Okay. Yeah. Get Let's get Lee in here. She comes out and >> maybe it's cuz you're going to a [ __ ] witch. Does she have uh like [ __ ] on a necklace around her neck?

[00:54:46]>> I'll show you her website. It's >> Is she like attractive?

[00:54:50]>> Um yeah.

[00:54:51]>> She's not going to watch this.

[00:54:53]>> She might. She loves me.

[00:54:55]>> A She'll check out the clip. The clips.

[00:54:59]>> Um >> push a T.

[00:55:01]>> The clips. the clips. What kind of music you like? You like everything?

[00:55:05]>> I like everything.

[00:55:08]>> Okay, cool. Let me see this. Let me see this witch.

[00:55:12]>> I got her an LA Times write up.

[00:55:14]>> Really?

[00:55:15]>> Yep.

[00:55:15]>> She But then but she's illegal.

[00:55:20]Like, isn't that bad for business?

[00:55:22]>> No.

[00:55:23]>> Let's see.

[00:55:23]>> Okay, you can go through her.

[00:55:26]>> Okay, she's she's she's a good-look lady. I mean, sign up for the occasional love notes.

[00:55:33]>> Yeah.

[00:55:34]>> What the hell is that? Um, yeah, she's she's she's good. She's a good-looking lady. I like her hat. Jesus Christ.

[00:55:42]>> Yeah.

[00:55:42]>> So, does she get naked when she's with you?

[00:55:45]>> No. No. No. That would be crazy.

[00:55:47]>> This is a crazy And then her little cats. So, this is her picture. She has a picture of her face and then a picture of her tits and then a picture of her cats. And that's the kind of lady that you think is going to cure it all, huh?

[00:55:59]>> Yep.

[00:56:00]>> I get it. Can I go to her? Like, can dudes go to her?

[00:56:04]>> Yeah.

[00:56:05]>> Jesus Christ, man. I mean, like, how many >> I don't think guys are She'll She deals with all all things womb related and and care related. So, like if you have a prolapsed uterus, >> I'm going to go in and I'm going to go I just can't have an orgasm. I mean, maybe so if somebody gave me a sloppy galopy [ __ ] then possibly I'll I just I need to be cured.

[00:56:30]>> Lee, [laughter] do you specialize in the Glock lock 3000?

[00:56:34]>> You think she'd, you [snorts] know, >> suck my [ __ ] >> Lee, do you offer do you offer swamp?

[00:56:41][laughter] >> She goes, "Wow, you came instantly. I'm I must be I must be getting good." Yeah, that's what I go, yeah, you're pretty good.

[00:56:50]>> [laughter] >> See you later.

[00:56:52]>> I'll check you later.

[00:56:54]>> Catch you later.

[00:56:55]>> Little sunglasses and then I put on music.

[00:56:58]>> I wear my big Apple headphones walking out.

[00:57:01]>> What are you playing after you have a big old Lee womb witch orgasm?

[00:57:05]>> Um, what's that song? Uh, >> it's just one of those days.

[00:57:08]>> Yeah, [laughter] I did it all for the nookie. Come on, the nookie. Yeah.

[00:57:14]>> You know what song rocks?

[00:57:17]>> What? the MGK song with uh >> with Fred >> Durst Durst. What's that like? Uh Fix Your Face is called.

[00:57:24]>> Fix your [ __ ] face.

[00:57:26]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a pretty good I I miss that uh that kind of music, you know?

[00:57:31]>> There's I I miss when that music was really prevalent cuz I feel like inside of me I have uh I have a Woodstock 99 constantly happening. Totally. My brain is Woodstock 99. Yes. just constant like just fighting that that feeling of like when's Limp Biscuit getting on?

[00:57:47]>> I need to see Limp Biscuit, >> you know, everywhere I go. Soon as somebody pisses me off, I'm like I did it off with a nookie. But that's the old me, not the new me.

[00:57:58]>> Yeah. What kind of music are you getting into these days?

[00:58:02]>> Well, I I I do like everything, but uh you know, pretty basic [ __ ] answer, but I Everybody knows Say Daddy loves the hip-hop.

[00:58:10]>> Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[00:58:12]>> Yeah. You love a cipher. [laughter] >> I really do. And I wish I could just get into one, but I'd be embarrassed.

[00:58:20]>> Do you ever talk to Ran?

[00:58:22]>> Yeah, he's been on the podcast.

[00:58:24]>> He sat where I'm sitting.

[00:58:26]>> He He did actually. He was one of the first guests. TBH.

[00:58:30]>> Do you ever Did you ever Did you ever do a rap battle with him?

[00:58:33]>> No, cuz I can't rap battle and he's too good. And he did invite me to his nicest show and I just uh I couldn't I just didn't get in cuz of something or other but um cuz I had to go. I had spots so I was yeah I didn't know it was an all day thing. I went at like 8 and then they were like yeah it's like almost done.

[00:58:50]But he is he's awesome and I I should f cuz I said to him I'm like if I sent you a song would you jump on the song? He's like hell yeah. And I just never did it.

[00:58:58]>> OH MY GOD.

[00:58:59]>> I SHOULD GET him on a song.

[00:59:00]>> You're making songs?

[00:59:01]>> Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know. I don't know if you know this about me, but Sag Daddy makes hip-hop.

[00:59:09]>> Wait, I know that you like, you know, >> you never seen my my rap songs and stuff.

[00:59:14]>> Yeah, but I thought it was like >> poop and all that.

[00:59:17]>> For the pod, like silly little things for the pod, but like are you in like Garage Band? Like >> Garage Band? Yeah. I mean, Sag Daddy Records is right there. I I I use all that stuff. Uh >> could I get a feature? Could I be like a >> You want to be on?

[00:59:30]>> I would love to. Maybe you could make my my tag, my my rapper tag.

[00:59:35]>> Yeah.

[00:59:35]>> What would you say?

[00:59:37]>> Well, well, should I say like something Sag Daddy like?

[00:59:40]>> Well, you know, let's take a couple of shots at it. Do some I mean, obvious.

[00:59:43]Yeah.

[00:59:44]>> Um, [clears throat and cough] >> maybe you want direction maybe.

[00:59:47]>> Yeah. Well, hold on. Here's what's first coming. Sagdaddy did it.

[00:59:51]>> Oh, I like that.

[00:59:52]>> That's good.

[00:59:53]>> That does sound a little bit like you're saying I did some sort of, you know, crime.

[00:59:58]>> Yeah. Like like somebody asked you who touched you and you sag daddy did it >> and I'm like turned on by it [laughter] >> and they go like I know I shouldn't like it.

[01:00:07]>> Yeah. The whole the police are like I'm not touching this at all. What is that?

[01:00:10]A [ __ ] >> little um throat lozenge.

[01:00:14]>> A throat loen.

[01:00:15]>> If I'm going to >> maybe that'll be it.

[01:00:18]>> A little throat lozenge. And then I come on I'm hitting the Yeah, I still make music. Like I don't really put a lot of stuff out, but but I still like I'm going into my buddy's apartment where I'm going to make a we have a couple of songs that we're like working on.

[01:00:31]>> No, but because you're like a white man doing like hip-hop, I think I should be a white woman doing like the kind of like R&B like um >> You could be my my uh Skyler Gray.

[01:00:41]>> Okay.

[01:00:42]>> Do you know who that is? No. She like sings a lot of songs on Eminem [ __ ] >> Oh >> yeah, I want to be that.

[01:00:47]>> Yeah, that would be cool. Do you have a good voice?

[01:00:49]>> I do.

[01:00:49]>> That's why you want to GO KARAOKE.

[01:00:51]>> YES. OH, so we'll go karaoke and it'll be me kind of um feeling you out.

[01:00:59]>> What do you mean?

[01:01:00]>> Sag daddy did it.

[01:01:02]>> Sag [laughter] daddy did it.

[01:01:03]>> Just seeing you know if you're if you're right for the sound >> because you're a singer.

[01:01:07]>> I Well, I can sing.

[01:01:09]>> You're a bit of a singer.

[01:01:10]>> I'm a bit of a singer. So I thought us at karaoke steal crazy. We would steal the show.

[01:01:16]>> People would go crazy.

[01:01:17]>> What song would we sing? You think?

[01:01:18]>> Don't go breaking my heart. I couldn't if I tried. But that is not the song that I would do. I pitched when I pitched karaoke. I pitched >> Oh, >> isn't that one of >> No.

[01:01:31]>> Wasn't that like with >> No, no. Uh uh the girl from Destiny's Child. What's that song?

[01:01:39]Come on. What's that song? You know what I'm talking about. Nicole's 12 years old. She doesn't know.

[01:01:45]>> Are you? How old are you?

[01:01:48]>> Me, too.

[01:01:50]Damn. Dilemma. Yeah.

[01:01:51]>> What's that?

[01:01:52]>> Uh >> I was thinking what's the one with um >> what's dilemma?

[01:01:57]>> Yeah. What the hell? What the hell?

[01:01:59]>> Yeah, I'll do anything. I'll do anything. We I should get I want to get a bunch cuz a lot of a lot of comedians Wait, keep going.

[01:02:06]>> Watches.

[01:02:09]>> Oh, I'll never leave the ground.

[01:02:14]>> Yes.

[01:02:14]>> I actually have listened to that song and uh cried in a cab before. So, uh, >> it's such a beautiful >> Tell me something, girl.

[01:02:23]>> Yes.

[01:02:23]>> Yes. Are you happy in this modern world?

[01:02:29]Or do you need more?

[01:02:33]Do you Is there something else you're searching for?

[01:02:40]Ping.

[01:02:42]>> Yes.

[01:02:44]And in the good times I find myself longing for change.

[01:02:54]And in the good times I feel myself, [singing] boy.

[01:03:06]>> Great.

[01:03:06]>> Aren't you tired trying to fill that void?

[01:03:10]>> Yes, I am. Or do you need more?

[01:03:14]>> Yes, I do.

[01:03:16]>> Is there something else you're searching for?

[01:03:20]I'm falling in all the good times. I find myself longing for change.

[01:03:33][laughter] And in the bad times, I fear myself.

[01:03:39]Now I'm the demon. [laughter] >> That's great. And that is exactly what we're going to do at karaoke.

[01:03:47]>> Yeah.

[01:03:48]>> Thanks for being on the show.

[01:03:49]>> Oh my god.

[01:03:50]>> Can you believe this has been an hour already?

[01:03:52]>> I could do a hundred more.

[01:03:53]>> Yeah, you got to come back on again.

[01:03:55]You're a good episode.

[01:03:56]>> Come back on.

[01:03:57]>> You're a good episode. I want to know more about this womb witch. And hopefully we'll have uh I mean I guess we talked all about it, but >> we're gonna have an update update.

[01:04:05]>> We're gonna have a Jiz update.

[01:04:06]>> A update.

[01:04:06]>> Yeah. What do you got? You want anything to pron anything?

[01:04:09]>> Um, go to ali makovsky.com.

[01:04:12]See where I'm touring.

[01:04:14]Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Detroit, San Diego.

[01:04:21]Um, not Ali Mack on Instagram.

[01:04:25]>> Hell freaking yeah. And you know where I'm at. I'm going all over the road. Um, Montlair, New Jersey. All [laughter] over the world. All over the world. New Jersey. Uh, Manchester, New Hampshire, St. Pete, Florida, Wilmington, North Carolina, etc., etc. Brendan, Sagdaddy did it. SAGDaddy didit.com. Um, BrennanScagalow.com if that leads you to nothing. And, uh, patreon.com/sagdaddy and check out fartnival, my other podcast.

[01:04:55]>> Whoa.

[01:04:56]>> Yeah. So, I got a lot of stuff going on.

[01:04:58]And thank you for coming on. You're the best.

[01:04:59]>> Thanks for having me.

[01:05:00]>> Bye. The rap jack [music] black and sag daddy. I'm [singing] back at it with a fantastic podcast for your asses.

[01:05:06]Yapping in a trap like a rescue cat and the [music] rescued up like they're waiting on the Batman. You tuned into the dude who threw booze back, blacked out, woke up drunk, covered in [singing] bruises. [music] It's Sag Daddy the pod, an odd fellow, the great white chubby, I'm becoming a marshmallow. It's Sag Daddy [music] the pod. So sit back and relax cuz like a broken arm, I got [singing] a cast now. It's Sag Daddy the pod. You made a good choice, so [music] enjoy. Don't be annoyed. Now here's my dumb voice. So recognizable scheme as of unreliable diary [singing] of a guy who's higher than a freaking diving board. I'm tired. [music] Call me biting you as Lank cuz you were lying with your wardrobe. Give that back. You ain't that guy, bro. Collidoscope stripping. God damn, I'm tripping. Sipping shroom tea, looking at a blank television. Got a girl here gripping. Thinking we'll do some business, but that's the last thing that I want.

[01:05:48]>> Seriously, >> big [music] dog. [singing] I'm on shirts now. Still scared that my house is going to burn down. I'm a rare card, an old Charizard. Getting BJs on a bench of a prominade. Don't [singing and music] know what to do. I got a lot of problems, a lot of emotional truths. I sage them. I'm getting robbed every time I get a coffee cuz six [music] bucks is just too much.

[01:06:10]We can keep it on the [music] >> dream team meles.

[01:06:19]Kidnapping [ __ ] illegally pumping them full with needles. Eating Chinese [music] till Steven asked us to order a pizza. Wanted to run to get it. I can't do either. Sag daddy eat a pot. Don't think twice, just bob your head. Dilling your chicken [music] with no rice. It's sag daddy the pot. And on God, I won't stop unless I want [singing] it. That's kind of the deal, huh? It's Sag Daddy the Pod. No need to deviate. Your ears are not the only holes and I'm about to penetrate. [music] It's sag daddy the pod. [singing] So, thanks for tuning in.

[01:06:43]Truman show. If I don't see you, you could suck my dick.